Verbatim counselling Individual (Aplikasi CTRT)

Vignette I: Using Encouragement—Not Critical Confrontation

The following is an example of the type of confrontation

often inaccurately associated with reality therapy. The counselor is confronting a
teenage client on his efforts to find a job.
Counselor: Where else did you go?

Client: I tried a couple other [gas] stations, too. Nobody wants to look at me. They
don’t pay too good anyway. [Screw] them!

Counselor: So you haven’t really done too much looking. Sounds like you want it
served on a silver plate, Joe. Do you think looking at a couple of gas stations is really
going to get you a job? (XXXX et al., 2002, p. 219)

Based on this brief exchange it appears the counselor is trying to help the client be
successful in obtaining employment. Consequently, we can assume that having
gainful employment (or at least making money) is a “want” (the W in WDEP) and in
the client’s quality world. Although this counselor is supposedly doing reality therapy,
his critical statements (“you haven’t done too much looking” and “you want it served
on a silver platter”) are inconsistent with reality therapy principles. A reality therapist
would use a more supportive and encouraging approach. For example:

Counselor: Where else did you go?

Client: I tried a couple other [gas] stations, too. Nobody wants to look at me. They
don’t pay too good anyway. [Screw] them!

Counselor (Reality therapy response): It sounds like you really want a job and you
feel very frustrated. What else could you do to help get what you want?

Notice that the reality therapist keeps the focus on what the client wants, empathizes
with the frustration, and ignores the client’s desire to quit trying. This approach is
encouraging because the counselor is expresses confidence in the client’s ability to
act and think in ways that will move him toward his quality world.

Generally, when counselors use confrontation, the goal is to help clients engage in
self-examination. The process for nearly all therapy approaches is similar—
counselors help clients increase their awareness or have insights, which then leads
to motivation and eventual change. Consistent with this process, Wubbolding
referred to client self-evaluation as a “prelude to change” (1999, p. 196).

In working with this young man on employment issues, the following exchange uses
concepts and questions adapted from Wubbolding (1999).
Counselor: Hey Joe, do you think the overall direction of your life is more of a plus or
more of a minus?

Client: I don’t know. I suppose it’s kind of a neutral. I don’t have a job and I’m not
really going any direction.

Counselor: That’s interesting. No direction. I guess my question about that is

whether going no direction is really the direction you want . . . or whether maybe you
want something else?

Client: Yeah. I’d love to have some money. Right now the economy sucks, so I don’t
really see the point of looking for work.

Counselor: The odds of getting a job right now aren’t great, that’s for sure. Do you
suppose the odds are better if you stay home or better if you get out and drop off a
few applications?

Client: I see what you’re saying. My odds are a little better if I get out there. But I
think my odds of making money are probably better if I just got out there and sold
drugs, like some other guys I know are doing.

Counselor: I’m just trying to follow along and track what you want. It does sound like
you want money. And you might be right about the drug selling scene, I don’t know
much about that. But let’s be serious, do you think selling drugs would genuinely be
good for you? I guess another way of asking that is, “Will selling drugs help or hurt
you in getting what you want in the long run?” [This confrontation does what a reality
therapy confrontation is supposed to do: It directly questions the usefulness of
excuses.]

Client: I’m not saying I think selling drugs is a good thing to do. I’m just frustrated and
sick of being broke and poor.

Counselor: Yeah. It’s very hard. But I’m your counselor and it’s my job to keep
pushing you in positive directions. I’m asking you this because I think you can do
better than how you’re doing. Is the way you’re thinking about this—that it’s too hard,
the economy sucks, and you’re likely to fail—is that line of thinking helping you get a
job or hurting your prospects?

Client: Yeah. I guess having a pity-party isn’t helping much.

Counselor: I’m sure having a pity party can feel good sometimes. But I’m with you on
the fact that it’s not helping much. So we’ve got to try out something different.

Because the preceding questions ask the client to look at himself and self-evaluate,
they’re inherently confrontational, but also supportive and encouraging. Many
additional reality therapy questions that help clients self-reflect and plan are in
Wubbolding’s (2000, 2017) publications.
Vignette II: Collaborative Planning

This vignette extends the previous case into the reality therapy collaborative
planning process.

Client: Well. What sort of different approach do you suggest?

Counselor: If it were up to me, I’d suggest we make a very clear plan for you to try
out this week. The plan would focus on how you can get what you want: a job so you
can start earning money. And we’d develop this plan together and we’d be honest
with each other about whether our ideas would give you the best chances to get a
job.

Client: How about I go down to the Job Service and sign up there?

Counselor: That’s one good idea. It doesn’t guarantee you a job, but nothing will
because you don’t have control over whether someone hires you, you only have
control over your strategy or plan. Do you know what I mean?

Client: Not really.

Counselor: Thanks for being honest about that. When you make a plan or set a goal,
it’s important for it to be completely within your control and not dependent on anyone
else. That’s because the only behavior you can control is your own. For example, if
your plan is to “get hired,” you can be doomed to frustration and anger because you
don’t make the hiring decision. Instead, a good plan involves developing a detailed,
step-by-step process. Your plan could be to revise your resume and then submit it
along with a well-crafted cover letter to 10 places where you think your skills are a
good fit. You have complete control over all that.

Client: Okay. I get it. I could do that, but I’m not very good with writing and resumes
and all that.

Counselor: How can you make sure those things are in good shape then?

Client: I could get my sister to look it over.

Counselor: When could you do that?

Client: Next week, I suppose.

Counselor: What would make it possible to do that sooner, like this week?

Client: You know, you’re really kind of pushy.

Counselor: Do you think you’d do better with someone who lets you put things off
until next week? Would that be more helpful in getting you a job sooner?

Client: Right. Right. Okay. I call my sister tonight and ask if she can help me as soon
as she’s available.

Counselor: That’s sounds like a great start. What time will you call her tonight?

Client: Seven o’clock. I know. Why not six? Well I figure she’ll be done with dinner by
seven, that’s why.

Counselor: Good planning. Maybe I don’t have to be so pushy after all.

The preceding dialogue illustrates how counselors can use gentle and persistent
questioning to lead clients toward planning that’s consistent with Wubbolding’s
principles (i.e., SAMI2C3). It also illustrates how reality therapists function as
collaborators to help clients or students plan for success.

Reference:

https://johnsommersflanagan.com/2017/07/10/a-tasty-sample-of-reality-therapy/