John Constantine

Exorcist, Demonologist and Master of the Dark Arts

Summary
I used to fancy myself a master of the dark arts, but after what happened at Newcastle I feel more like a bloody
petty dabbler. Trust me mate, you don't want to hire me, I'm a nasty piece of work...

Experience
Exorcist at Newcastle Crew
2002 - Present (13 years)
I was good, the best in the world even. But I got cocky and now a little girl is damned to Hell. That's on me
mate, but you can be damn sure I'm going to do everything in my power to save her!

Patient at Ravenscar Psychiatric Ward

May 2014 - October 2014 (6 months)
How many blokes do you know who've checked themselves into the nuthouse? The electro-shock therapy did
wonders for me. Great release of pain if you ever need it.

Lead Singer at Mucous Membrane

2002 - 2006 (4 years)
I was in a punk band with my mates, Gary, Les and Beano. We gave the Sex Pistol lifestyle a try. You might
have seen us at the Cassanova Club in Newcastle, or maybe you've heard our song "Venus of the Hardsell."
And if you don't like it, piss off!

Honors and Awards

If there’s an award for consuming an ungodly amount of pints I’d have a shot at that…

Certifications
An angel told me I’m the only one who can save the world. That good enough for ya?

Skills & Expertise

Demonology
Exorcisms
Drinking
Smoking
Séances
Did I mention drinking?

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Education
Beauty School Dropout
Liverpool Primary School
Grade: Expelled

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John Constantine
Exorcist, Demonologist and Master of the Dark Arts

Contact John on LinkedIn

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