THE MOTHER-IN-LAW WITH THREE DAUGHTERS-IN-LAW

  There was once an old woman who had three sons, tall like steeples and of
virtue mighty but dumb as fishes.
            The old woman had a plentiful household, with a fine piece of land, a stout
manor and annexes, a vineyard and nice orchard, cattle and lots of poultry. Besides
all this, she had also saved money for a rainy day as she was quite tightfisted and
cheese-paring.
            Not to let her sons leave her side, she had two houses built on the right and
on the left of the old one. And she also decided once and for all to keep her sons
and her future daughters-in-law with her in the old house, not sharing with them
whatever there was until she breathed her last. That’s what she did and her heart
hummed with joy when she thought how happy she would be, having hers sons
close by to help and the daughters-in-law to comfort her. An oftentimes she would
say to herself: “I’ll keep a strict eye on the daughters-in-law, I’ll make them work,
and keep a tight rein on them, not letting them out of doors when my sons are
away. That’s how my mother-in-law, may God rest her in peace!, behaved towards
me. And my husband, may God forgive him!, could not complain I deceived him or
squandered things…although at times he did suspect me and kicked me some…but
now it’s all water under the bridge!”
            All three boys were engaged in carting and thus earned good money. The
eldest was now just ripe for marriage so, feeling the time was right, the old woman
went out like a hurricane and started looking for a bride; she scouted five or six
villages and only with much trouble could she find a girl to suit her; tall and lean
yet vigorous and obedient. The son humored his mother, so he got married, and the
old woman put on the special mother-in-law garb, actually one with no neck
opening at all which means that the mother-in-law is supposed to keep her mouth
shut and never mutter or disagree in any thing.
            When the wedding was over, the sons went off to their business, and the
daughter-in-law stayed behind with her mother-in-law. That very day, in the
evening, the old woman began to make arrangements as to how her daughter-in-law
should live her life. The young woman seemed to be getting in the old biddy’s way.
“Why did I rustle up a pair of tongs for myself? Not to burn my fingers!
Right!” she mused. So she climbed quickly to the attic and came down with a bag
of feathers left there by her late mother-in-law, a few bales of hemp and half a
quintal of millet.
            “Look here, daughter, I reckon you could work nights very well. The mill is
in the annex next door, the spindles in the wicker basket under the bed, and the
distaff behind the chimney. When you get your fill of picking feathers, you can mill
some corn flower so when your husband comes home we’ll cook some stew with
smoked pork ribs from the larder and gee, that will be some food! For now since
you are so well rested, take the distaff and by tomorrow morning finish spinning all
this, and also pluck the feathers and mill the corn flower. I’ll go lie down a bit for
your wedding’s taken all the oomph out of me. But you should know that I’m a
very light sleeper, and besides these two eyes I have another on my nape that
always stays wide open, day and night, so I can see everything that is going on in
the house. You got it right?”
            “Yes, mother. Now I wonder is there anything to eat…”
            “Eat? There’s an onion, some cloves of garlic and a piece of cold polenta on
the shelf. That ought to be enough for a young wife like yourself…Milk, cheese,
butter and eggs, those are to set aside and sell at the fair…The overheads of this
house are now bigger with another mouth to feed and I don’t want my
arrangements screwed up!”
            So, as darkness set in the old woman went to bed, facing the wall so that the
light of the candle didn’t bother her, making her daughter-in-law understand that
she’d keep that one eye on her. But she fell asleep instantly and was gone to this
world. While her mother-in-law was sawing logs, the gentle daughter toiled in the
house, now plucking the feathers, now spinning the hemp, now pounding the corn
and husking it. And if she felt like Father Sandman was courting her she would dab
her eyes with cold water and washed her face lest her sleepless mother-in-law saw
her and guessed what she felt like. That’s how the poor young woman toiled long
after midnight until she caved in the small hours and fell asleep amid the feathers,
the spindles, the hemp and the corn.
            The old biddy who had turned in very early got up with the lark and began
to rattle and roll pans and pots so that the poor daughter who had just dropped
asleep had to rise too, willy-nilly, kiss her mother’s hand and show her what she
had done. Slowly, the old biddy licked the daughter in shape so that she felt quite
content with her choice.
            After several days the men came in and the young wife, seeing her husband
forgot her troubles!
            Not after long, the old biddy arranged the wedding of her second son and
picked for him a woman that was the spitting image of the first daughter-in-law
only that she was somewhat older and a little squinty but exceedingly industrious!
            After the wedding, the boys went out to their business and the girls stayed
behind with their mother-in-law. As usual, she gave them loads of work to do and
when the sun went down she went to bed, urging her daughters-in-law to be
diligent and not fall asleep for she could surely see them with her never-tiring eye.
            The first daughter-in-law recounted to the other one about the all-seeing
sleepless eye of their mother-in-law, and so they egged on each other and work
went on smoothly and continuously. And their mother-in-law  rolled in clover.
            But it seems that now and then good spells evil. Not after long the time
came for the youngest son to get married. The old woman wanted by all means to
have an inseparable troika of daughters-in-law of the same mettle. So she had
already set her eyes on a girl. Yet many go to seek wool and come home shorn.
One morning, mother’s youngest son brings home a wife. The old biddy
scratches her head, mumbles and grumbles but in the end she has to lump it, so they
throw a big wedding and that’s that!
 After the party, the men go out to their business and the daughters stay
behind with their mother-in-law. The old woman gives them work aplenty and
come night she jumps in bed as usual. The first two daughters, seeing the third not
so eager to break her back slaving around the house, start explaining:
“Don’t shy for mother sees you.”
“How’s that? She’s sleeping as far as I can guess. What kind of arrangement
is this? We work hard and she snoozes?”
“Never mind her snoring,” replies the middle one, “mother has an eye at her
back and she sees everything we do. And then… you don’t know her, the stuff
she’s made of!”
“An eye at the back?…And she sees everything?…The stuff she’s made of?
Now that you’ve mentioned this, tell me girls what stuff is there for us to eat?”
“Not a lick or smell, dear sister…But if you insist that you’re hungry you
can have a blob of polenta and some onion.”
“Polenta and onion? Such preparations nobody in my family ever touched.
How about some bacon, and butter, and eggs? Don’t you have those in the larder?”
“We have them all right, but they belong to mother.”
“I believe what belongs to mother equally belong to us, and what belongs to
us equally belongs to her. Girls, this is past merriment. You do your stuff here
while I go fix something to eat, you know, something mighty good and I’ll call
you.”
“Goodness, what are you talking about?” the two daughters said. “Why
should we play with fire? You want the old hag to throw us out?”
“Don’t you worry. When she asks you things you blame it all on me and let
me do the talking.”
“Well, whatever, you do what you please but don’t bring trouble on our
heads.”
“Come on, girls, you keep your mouths shut instead of babbling. I for one
don’t like peace but strife.” And she goes out singing:
“Alack, a stupid man
is no glory to his clan!”
In less than an hour there’s a tray full of pies, a few chickens fried in butter,
a big pot with cheese and cream and polenta, all ready to eat. And the youngest
woman invites the other two to dinner.
“Come on, girls, you eat your fill and give praises to the Lord, while I go
down to the cellar and bring some wine to go with the pies!”
After eating and drinking they felt like singing like drunk fiddlers:
            “Mother-in-law, sour haw,
            Ripe all day in the sun
            Sweeter sure you’ll get none
            Ripe all autumn thereupon
            You’re still sour as a lemon.
Ripe a summer and a year
You’re still sour and so blear
Go out
 Like the gout
Come in
Like black sin
Sit with a bang
Like a pang.”
 And they went on eating, drinking, and singing until they all fell asleep.
            When the old woman got up at dawn she couldn’t find her daughters-in-law.
She went out frightened, looking for them here and there and finally stepped into
the hut and what did she see? The poor daughters were heavily mourning for their
mother-in-law…Feathers floated about, crumbs crunched under the feet, pots and
pans lay all over the place, and a barrel of wine stood empty and titled. Well, a
revolting sight!
            “What’s this?” the old woman shouted fearfully.
            The daughters-in-law rose like a shot and started trembling, their heads
down for shame and fear. But the one in charge made no bones about anything and
said:
“Well, mother dear, you know that my folks were here and we cooked
something for them and gave them some wine from the cellar and then we made
merry a little. They just left.”
“And the in-laws saw me sleep?”
“They sure did, mother dear!”
“But why didn’t you wake me up? The plague on you all!”
“But mother dear, the girls told me you see everything and so I reckoned you
must be angry with pa and ma since you did not get up. And they were so
disappointed that the food didn’t agree with them very good.”
“You trollops, I’ll mop up the earth with you!”
And from that moment she made life an unbearable hell for her daughters-in-
law. Whenever she remembered her plump, juicy chicks, the wine from the cellar,
the way her savings had gone down the drain and on top of everything the fact that
her in-laws had seen her laying sprawled all over the bed, she felt she could burst
with anger and for that she needled her daughters like a thousand pins.
Even the two older daughters-in-law had their fill of the old hag’s bitchiness;
the youngest seized the opportunity to settle the whole business and also the matter
of the heritage once and for all:
“Dear in-laws,” she said one day when they were alone in the vineyard. “We
can no longer live in this house unless we get rid of the old hag.”
“How’s that?”
“You do what I tell you and never you mind.”
“What can we do?” the oldest asked.
“We barge in on her. Then you pull her by the hair and bash her head on the
eastern wall as hard as you can; and you do the same on the western wall. Then
what I’ll do to her you’ll see.”
“And what do we do when our men come home?”
“You play possum and never open your mouths. I’ll deal with them and
don’t you worry.”
 The two women agreed and they all entered the house, took the hag by her
hair and rammed her head on the wall until it cracked. Then the youngest one,
being the naughtiest of the three, took the old hag down and trampled her under her
feet and then pulled her tongue out, pierced it with a needle and sprinkled it with
salt and pepper. So that the old woman got bloated and swollen and could not utter
a single word! And all beaten up and poorly, she fell ill and took to her dying bed.
The daughters-in-law, taking the advice of the youngest, placed the old woman in
clean bed sheets so that she remembered the time when she was a young bride, and
then began to take rolls of cloth out of the old hag’s chest and, goading each other,
they began to prattle about sickle, bier, coffin, last rites and funeral customs, ghosts
and other frightful goons so much that only hearing all this could have sent the old
woman to an early grave.
And at long last their greatest dream was coming true!
While they were celebrating they heard carts squeaking, meaning their men
had arrived home. They went out to meet them at the gate and, as the youngest had
advised, they started petting and cajoling and caressing them as best they could.
“How’s ma,” the men asked all of a sudden while they were unyoking the
oxen.
“Ma,” the youngest started before the other two could say a thing, “ma is not
so well; in fact, she’s not well at all, the poor thing.”
“What do you mean?” barked the men fearfully, letting go of the harnesses.
“Well, there’re five or six days since she took the calves grazing and a bad
wind must have caught the poor soul! The bad witches sealed her mouth and
weakened her feet.”
The men dashed into the house to their mother’s bed but the woman was so
puffed up that she could not even open her mouth. Anyway, she was not dead to her
senses and seeing them she moved a little her hand pointing first to the oldest
daughter and to the eastern wall, then to the middle daughter and the western wind,
and in the end to the youngest one and to the middle of the house. After which she
could hardly take her hand to her mouth that she went into a deep faint.
They all wept terribly and could not make out what their mother signified.
Then the youngest daughter, feigning to be sobbing, said:
“You don’t understand what ma wants?”
“No,” they replied.
“On her dying bed poor ma bequeaths the eastern house to the eldest brother,
the western house to the middle brother, and to us, the youngest, this very house.”
“Gee, you’re clever woman,” her man agreed.
And as the other ones too reckoned she had translated well the old woman’s
wishes, the heritage was thus bequeathed.
The hag died that very same day and the daughters, disheveled, mourned for
her so loud the whole village could hear them. After two days of lying in state they
buried her with a great pageant and all the women in the village and in the
neighborhood kept on talking about the mother with three daughters-in-law,
exclaiming: “Happy she to have died having the three of them to mourn for her!”