Alaina Walker

English
March 30, 2020

Goodbye to All That

2.06 Graded Writing Assignment

Written in the first person point-of-view, Joan Didion’s “Goodbye to All That” tells the
rocky story of her life after moving to New York City as an optimistic, independent young
woman from Sacramento, California. When she moved to New York, her initial thoughts
were that of a hopeful and expectant individual, her head filled with the ideas and images
painted of “what life was like in New York.” With the help of figurative language and literary
devices, Didion was able to create an image in readers’ minds of how her adoration for New
York dwindled down to nothing but a bittersweet memory.
In the beginning of her difficult journey, Didion moved to New York, stepping out of
the plane she arrived in in a brand new dress she had bought prior to her travel. She recalled
that the dress “had seemed very smart in Sacramento but seemed less smart already, even in
the old Idlewild temporary terminal” (Didion 142). This line suggests foreshadowing, showing
that what Didion had thought was a dress fit for New York (as she knew it) was simply not that
when she had arrived, similar to how after years of residing there, she realized that the life in
New York was not all it was cut out to be – at least not for a 20-year-old girl all on her own.
She quickly “fell in love” with New York, using metaphors and imagery to convey this new,
fresh experience. “I could taste the peach and feel the soft air blowing from a subway grating
on my legs and I could smell lilac and garbage and expensive perfume and I knew that it
would cost something later..” (Didion 144). She knew that it would eventually get difficult,
that this experience that satisfied the spark of wonder inside of her couldn’t have been free,
that everyday wouldn’t be this beautiful, or this peaceful – and she was right.
As the story progresses, Didion expresses how her image of New York – the version
she’d read about in books and saw in movies – was quickly tainted. What was meant to be a
short, refreshing journey lasting only a six months in her life (so much so that she’d never
bought furniture while living in New York), turned into a stay of eight years and of constant

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realization about what New York truly wasn’t. Her mindset when first arriving to New York
was almost that of someone who believed themselves to be invincible. She believed that
somehow, no matter what, she would “have a high emotional balance, and be able to pay
whatever it costs” (Didion 144). She felt no need to take the easy route and tell her father she
was in need of money, because that would deprive her of the challenge she had set for herself
to succeed on her own. She didn’t seem to be afraid of failure, but she was terrified of regret.
To let any chance to successfully work hard for herself go out the window was not something
she fancied. “I could make promises to myself and to other people and there would be all the
time in the world to keep them. I could stay up all night and make mistakes, and none of it
would count..” (Didion 145).
She remembered how she “could see the Brooklyn Bridge” from her window, bragging
to her long-distance friend over the phone about it, but learned that it was “only
Triborough” (Didion 143). Her word choice here, using the word ‘only’, demonstrates a tone
of disappointment. She shared her experiences living in so many places – from cold hotel
rooms to friend after friends’ apartments. She lived much of her life with uncertainty, not
knowing where she would get her next meal, or where she’d rest her head that night, but
throughout all of it, she chased that lifestyle she grew to want her whole life. She would go
countless parties, good or bad, it didn’t matter; but, because she wanted to live that exciting
New York life so greatly, she did it all. She held onto the promises of “new faces” for so long,
but eventually, like most other things, the idea faded and became just another “only”. “I had
never before understood what ‘despair’ meant, and I am not sure that I understand now, but I
understood that year..” (Didion 151). When she was still unfamiliar with their names, many of
the things she’d seen were nothing but abstractions; “Wall Street and Fifth Avenue and
Madison Avenue” were simply streets. Financial stability and success in the fashion and
advertising industry aren’t achieved by merely walking down these streets; there are things
that many individuals created for themselves while on these streets.
Eight years after she stepped off of the plane at the age of 20, all of the wisdom and
knowledge she gained helped her to have a realistic outlook on life, and how “not all promises
would be kept” (Didion 148), that some things were what they were. No belief or hope that
something or someone is different is going to change what already is. Eventually she found the
love of her life, and moved to Los Angeles “just for awhile” (Didion 151). However, three
years later, still in LA, Didion and her husband lived happily. No longer living in New York,

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but instead having New York deeply embedded into her heart as an unforgettable memory,
taught Didion a lot more than she could have ever asked for.
Throughout the essay, Didion uses unique forms of figurative language to convey
feelings of excitement, uncertainty, isolation, and disappointment. By carefully using a
particular word choice, foreshadowing, similes, and metaphors, Didion is able to share her
emotional and trying experience as a new resident of New York, and how she stopped
believing in “judging books by their covers”. She had been drawn in by the thing that draws
in so many of us… bright lights and large signs and exhilarating lifestyles that were the
epitome of New York. She was so enticed by that life, that she took a leap of faith as a young
girl, entering a “revolving door at twenty” and coming out wiser, “a good deal older, and on a
different street” (Didion 143).

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