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Jane De La Cruz – EDU 214 – 04/05/2020

The LV Reporter
By: Valentina Artale
Red Forman announces he is running
Season 2 of BIKINI
BACHELORETTE for president!
BOTTOM, guest
starring The Power Puff
Girls, Spongebob
Squarepants, and Sandy
Cheeks. An intense season
arises when 3 sisters all fight
for their dream man, and find
conflict in not only
competing between each
other, but competing with one
of the bachelor's closest
school friends. Who will be
next bachelorette? Tune in on
May 15, 8:00 pm Pacific time
to find out.

By: Jane De La Cruz

Grand Opening
After months of speculation, it is now confirmed that our beloved veteran,
known for fighting in WWII and the Korean war has announced he will be
running for President of the United States of America this upcoming
election. It is unclear which party he will be running for, but what we are
sure of, is that he won't be intimidated by any of his opponents. During his
press conference, he stated: "I did not fight for this country to see it be ran
by idiots! I will ensure every veteran has the medical attention they need and
ANYONE who threatens our nation will be finding my foot in their
1 [censored]". By his side was standing his wife Kitty Forman, who then
Tomorrow at 11am! offered homemade brownies to all the reporters.
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Mickey and Minnie Mouse

divorced?!
Breaking news! Leaked photos of Minnie Mouse caught with Goofy in front of her
home in Toon Town, Disneyland! Not only is Mickey Mouse's heart shattered, but
so are millions across the world. Thousands of children's hearts are broken to
pieces. Donald and Daisy Duck are in despair. No one has seen the group together
since. Mickey Mouse is currently filing custody over Pluto. Employees all over
Disneyland are being interviewed and under investigation to get the truth. Disney
channel has confirmed that Mickey Mouse Clubhouse will be postponed until
further notice. How will Mickey ever recover? Who will be the face of Disneyland
now? A mouse or a dog?
By: Maisy Mathews

Rachel stopped in her

Rachel is a lesbian tracks, staring at someone.
A lady stood in front of
By: Yaping Yang (YaYa)
them about twenty feet
Rachel and Ross decided to away – also staring at
get married again. In Las Rachel. Some hot sparks
Vegas, which they believe
are burning around Rachel
is one of the most romantic
cities in the world – and and the lady. They fell in
also the city where they love at first sight! Ross
made their daughter Emma. looks at Rachel and realizes
They chose to stay in their something is wrong. Rachel
favorite resort - the turned and looked Ross
Bellagio. They are having a with a sad expression and
great time in the spa where
said, “I’m sorry Ross, I
they drink, swim, and relax
in the sauna. can’t marry you.” She let
go of his hand, and walked
The next day in the to the lady and embraced
morning after breakfast,
her. A huge, happy smile
they are so excited to go to
church to get married. They on both of their faces
are walking through the contrasted with the look of
lobby
2 of the hotel when disbelief on Ross’ face. Oh
suddenly, my god, no…...Rachel is
lesbian too.
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has found his purrfect partner in considering their new

Tiger King
Finds His Kitty
Queen!
Joe Exotic, the unlikely star
behind Netflix’s newest
docuseries hit, has reached out
to press to announce he is to be
wed once more, and you’ll
never guess to who! More
scandalous than his crimes and
sequined tiger shirt, Exotic is to
be wed to none other than his
arch nemesis Carole Baskin!
After not one, not two, but three
failed attempts at happily ever
after Exotic is certain that he
Carole Baskin. The two hit it
off after a series of letters Joe
Exotic sent from behind bars
begging for forgiveness. Exotic
and Baskin formed and unlikely
friendship that turned into an
unrelenting romance, which the
happy couple can’t stop gushing
about. Carole Baskin is the first
woman Joe Exotic has been
with, but when asked if his
previous preferences affected
their relationship Exotic was
quoted saying, “I got tired of
playing with lion cubs and
wanted to hunt a lioness.”
Exotic and Baskin are hoping
his sentence may be repealed
relationship status and
upcoming wedding, where
Carole Baskin is to be wearing a
custom Vera Wang dress, in
you guessed it, tiger print!
When we asked Baskin about
her second husband, that
coincidentally when missing
right as her relationship with
Exotic turned romantic, she said
she’d rather talk about her dress
before she biked away from our
writers. Well cool cats and
kitten we are not lion when we
say we wish them nothing but
the best!
By: Melissa Villa

Taylor Swift Pregnant!

You heard that right, women of the decade is pregnant. But the question
everyone is talking about is who the father is? We all know she been dating
actor, Joe Alwyn. But many are speculating that the baby is not his. A source
said that the couple has been having some issues for the past months because
Taylor wanted to start a family but Joe was not ready for one. So many are
speculating that Taylor went out one night and had too much fun (if you know
what I’m saying). Because months after Taylors House Party fans spotted
Taylor at Starbucks with Travis Scott former boyfriend of Kylie Jenner. We all
know about the Jenners/ Kardashians sisters are a very close family. If you
recall the whole Taylor vs Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West controversy
well this might get Tay Tay in so much more drama if he turns out to be the
3
father.#whosthefather
by: Gabriela Baltazar
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Missing Buggsy Case Finally Solved

On this week’s episode of Chicago P.D. Hank Voight and his fellow team of detectives try to solve the puzzling
case of Huggsy the missing stuffed penguin. They took on this case after a frantic Chicago pizza shop owner by
the name of Joey Tribbiani had come into the station wanting to finally get answers and helping in finding his
nighttime companion. Huggsy had been previously reported missing 18 years ago by his owner Joey Tribbiani in
New York City. Huggsy was last seen in Mr.Tribbiani’s bedroom, on his bed where he had left that fateful Friday
morning after leaving for an acting gig. He was also last seen wearing a burgundy colored Santa hat, a bright
orange winter vest puffer jacket and dark brown pilot goggles. After following many leads that got the detectives
nowhere near to solving the case, they received a phone call that would answer all their prayers. One from a
friend, a friend of Mr. Tribbiani’s, from back home in New York who finally wanted to confess to the crime. His
friend named Rachel Green stated that Mr.Tribianni had indeed left Huggsy on his bed that fateful Friday
morning and admitted to waiting for him to leave his apartment to steal Huggsy. She also admitted to stealing
Huggsy, in order to give him to her baby daughter Emma. In a turn of events Emma ended up losing Huggsy on a
trip to the park and he was never found again, so both Emma and Ms. Green decided to keep the secret from Mr.
Tribbiani all these years to spare his feelings. On a happier note, the episode ended with a heartfelt reunion set up
by Hank Voight in, one between Mr. Tribbiani and Ms. Green and her daughter. Where all was forgiven and a
new replacement Huggsy was given to finally mend the missing piece of companionship, between a man his
nighttime companion/buddy.
By: Roxana Arriaza

The Kardashians
Go BANKRUPT!
Several people have lost their jobs during
this COVID-19 epidemic. Who was to
think the Kardashians would be one of
them? After showing in their social media
accounts the lifestyle they have full of
luxuries its hard to believe they are left
with nothing. The stock markets crashed
last Friday leaving them completely broke.
Mom, Kris Jenner is desperate at this time,
since she can no longer afford the lifestyle
she is used to. Therefore, rumors are going
around leading Kourtney, Kim, Khloe,
Kendall, Kylie and even Mom Kris are
casting for the SURVIVOR TV show.
After all a million-dollar prize would be a
big help during this time, the question is
would they make it to the finals?
4 By: Maria Casas