Emily Reyna

Professor Chaaban

CST 110 E99A

April 21, 2020

500 Days of Interpersonal Communication

           “There is no such thing as love, it’s a fantasy,” a classic romantic-comedy saying when

the main couple breaks up. Before you can break up though, an interpersonal relationship needs

to be made to connect people. An interpersonal relationship is one which has, “close associations

or acquaintances between two or more people; might be based on love, friendship, family, or

some other social commitment” (Valenzano 115) in which connects them.  In the movie “500

Days of Summer,” by Dune Entertainment, it follows the relationship of Summer Finn and Tom

Hansen and its inevitable downfall. The movie uses Attraction Theory, Social Penetration

Theory, the Stage Model of Relationship Development, and the Social Exchange Theory to add

depth to their relationship and bring the two characters together. 

           The movie uses Attraction Theory or, “The process of choosing and selecting our

romantic partners is rooted in perception,” (Valenzano 118) to develop the characteristics of

Summer and add detail to their relationship. The theory focuses on three main types of attraction:

physical, social, and task attraction. Physical attraction is, “being drawn to someone's physical

appearance because we like the way the person looks” (Valenzano 118), which the movie depicts

by going in depth on Summer’s beauty. The narrator of the film states, “Summer’s employment

at the Daily Freeze coincides with an inexplicable 212% increase in revenue.… It was a rare

quality, this ‘Summer effect.’” to share the impact, her beauty has on not only our main character

but others she has interacted with. Secondly, social attraction, which is described as, “what we
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see in the other person as someone with whom we should engage in social interactions

with to become friends” (Valenzano 118). Tom runs into Summer in the elevator and rather than

engage, Tom blasts his music which grabs Summer’s attention because she loves the band he is

listening to and comments her enthusiasm towards it. This minuscule initiation of shared

interests causes Tom to exclaim, “Holy sh*t. I think I am in love with Summer,” which shows

having shared interests and a friendly demeanor can make two people connect easier. Last, there

is task attraction, which is creating a relationship because “we like to work with them and can

count on them to get a job done,” something which the movie did not add. The reason the movie

did not use task attraction is because Summer knows she cannot rely on Tom to get the

proverbial job done by stating, “Tom could be a great architect if he wanted to be” showing her

indifference towards following his personal life goals. The movie uses the Social Penetration

Theory to “create and maintain a deeper intimacy through mutual self-disclosure” (Valenzano

120) between the main characters. To get to know each other, Summer and Tom discuss their

educational background, and Summer felt comfortable enough to share that her nickname in

college was, “anal girl” because of her OCD. They soon after went out with their office to a

karaoke bar where Tom and Summer shared a deep conversation about her past relationships and

her disbelief in love, specifically true love. As their relationship developed, Summer invited him

over where they laid in bed and she shared all of her deepest secrets, something she has never

done before. 

           The movie, “500 Days of Summer,” implements the use of the Stage Model of

Relationship Development to bring Summer and Tom together and have their relationship come

apart. Besides verbal communication, the movie focuses on using nonverbal communication to

convey the stages of growing apart. The first stage of the model is initiating, “taking the first step
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to interact with someone you are interested in” (Valenzano 124). The movie goes against social

norms by having Summer make the first move and introduce herself to Tom in the elevator and

make a friendly comment towards his taste in music. Soon after, Tom starts a conversation,

“about surface-level interests and topics” (Valenzano 124) with Summer to see if they click in

the experimenting stage. Tom asks about how long she has lived in Los Angeles, shared the

degrees they completed, and Tom introduces his friends to get their input. The office goes to

karaoke night where Tom confesses he likes Summer and their relationship intensifies, the next

step in the model, which is defined as, “investing more time in each other and learn more about a

person’s history, interests, and goals,” (Valenzano 124) something which Summer has never

done before. To show their intensifying relationship, the producer had the narrator discuss the

importance of Summer sharing personal stories by stating, “That wall Summer so often hid

behind, the wall of distanced and casual relationships, that wall was slowly coming down,” and

showing the intensity of their relationship. The movie has the two “developing a sense of identity

for their relationship” (Valenzano 125), by integrating and accompanying each other to a

wedding as a date but still without a label. Tom continued to force affection which blurred the

bonding stage of, “making a deep commitment formally” (Valenzano 125) because Summer

continued to reiterate they are just friends. In the differentiating stage, “partners begin to separate

themselves from each other” (Valenzano 125), which Summer did by using oculesics and

kinesics, eyes and body movement, to send messages of discomfort and discontent with their

relationship. Tom would try to hold Summer’s hand but she would often roll her eyes, look at

him in frustration, and maintained a closed posture. There was not mutual differentiation until

they both entered the circumscribing stage which involves, “living different lives, and

conversations are increasingly limited” (Valenzano 125). What brought Summer and Tom
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together originally was their shared taste in music, now that there is shared indifference, Summer

and Tom have a hard time discussing their interests and Summer would avoid spending time

with Tom because they constantly fought on where to go when together. Their relationship was

stagnant, “not moving forward or backward in the relationship and not relating on an intimate

level,” (Valenzano 125) and Tom still wanted their relationship to work, but Summer stated,

“What are we doing? Is this normal?” because she knew their relationship was not moving. After

this meeting their relationship took a turn towards avoidance and Summer “actively avoided

interacting” (Valenzano 125) with Tom by quitting her job and not reaching out. Tom still tried

to keep their relationship going by meeting for dinner where Summer terminates the relationship.

In this stage, the “relationship moves to post-relationship” (Valenzano 126), and Summer said,

“Tom, don’t go. You’re still my best friend!” showing she still wants a friendship, but Tom

continued walking and ends the entire relationship.

           In “500 Days of Summer” the relationship between Summer and Tom is not defined, but

they still look at each other in a caring and romantic perspective. Social Exchange theory is best

used to define their relationship to explain how the two interact with one another. The theory

suggests that “relationship behavior is regulated by the evaluation of perceived rewards and costs

by both sides” (Valenzano 133) which is true for the treatment towards Summer from Tom.

Summer specifically stated when entering their relationship that she wants nothing serious and

will not put a label on them. Tom accepted her beliefs and at first, the cost of their relationship

was nonexistent compared to the rewards each received. Summer appreciated having someone to

talk to and Tom enjoyed being in a relationship and being able to spend time with Summer. As

their relationship developed, the cost became exponential because of the emotional toll it had on

the two characters. Summer gave Tom hope and deceived him by holding hands, telling him
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personal stories, and treating him as a boyfriend. In Summer's defense, Tom used interpersonal

violence to force Summer into an idea of a relationship and emotionally abused her into staying

in the relationship because of their strong friendship. Ultimately, the cost of the relationship

outweighed the rewards and caused Tom to walk away once Summer ended their relationship. 

           Forming interpersonal relationships can sometimes cause pain and heartbreak but if Tom

had not met Summer, he would have never pursued his dream job. To add depth to Summer and

Tom and bring them together, the movie “500 Days of Summer,” uses Attraction Theory, Social

Penetration Theory, the Stage Model of Relationship Development, and the Social Exchange

Theory. Using these methods of interpersonal communication, the movie is able to relate to

viewers on a personal level while also maintaining a proper psychological understanding of how

others communicate. While the deeper understanding of their relationship can be subjective, one

can use psychological terminology to develop their own understanding of this idyllic romantic-

comedy.
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Works Cited

Valenzano, Joseph M., et al. Communication Pathways. 2nd ed., Fountainhead Press, 2016.