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The Art of Meta - How Self-Awareness Can Evolve Your Seduction
The Art of Meta - How Self-Awareness Can Evolve Your Seduction
Imagine this. You are having a conversation with a girl you just met at a
bar. She is describing a recent trip to Spain—to the same city you had
visited some years ago. She tells a story when she discovered an
abandoned cathedral near the beach. The conversation suddenly came to
a point where you both say the exact same thing at the same time. She
smiles, and without missing a beat, you say “wait, did we just have a
moment?” She replies “uh-huh.” You fist-bump her.
Types of Meta
Meta-Awesomeness (as discussed by Mark Manson). Example:
“Look, I’m a bit of a headache when it comes to commitment, and I
only get like this because I like you so much.”
Meta-Humor, where you make fun of something in your
conversations or people’s reactions. Example: “Note to self: never
bring up that topic again.”
Meta-Correction, where you clarify what you want to
communicate. Example: “Shit, that’s not how I wanted it to sound, let
me say it another way.”
Meta-Flirting, or breaking rapport or instructing. Example
(breaking rapport): “Ohh, only you can get away with saying something
like that cause you’re so cute.” Example (instructing): “Hey, say what
you just said again, it was really cute.”
How to be Meta
Becoming meta is a fairly advanced social interaction technique. It comes
from years of social attunement. However, the more you practice, the
faster you will pick it up. It might seem weird at first, but once you’re
comfortable with it, it will seem like a part of your personality.
This takes a fair bit of mental exercise, ease of social anxiety, and
reception to feedback (verbal and non-verbal). Once you’ve achieved a
good amount of self-awareness, you can express yourself fully
while recognizing their congruence. If you sense an incongruence in your
communications, address it out loud. It’s perfectly okay to say “can I try
that again” or “could I say it in another way?”
2. Be more aware of
your environment and other people
Note external observations to sharpen your ability to get outside of
yourself.
This shows that you are enjoying the conversation and the process of
making it flow. Your expression is not tied to some outcome. The
conversation doesn’t have to go anywhere and you are okay with that.
When you are at ease, you observe more and think less.
Take responsibility for your words and actions. Be humorous and laid-back
when you go meta. However, in some cases, it’s more appropriate to be
serious: “actually, that wasn’t a joke, I do want to know more about your
artistic aspirations.”
6. Emulate others
Comedians as Eddie Izzard and Louis C.K. can go meta on stage on a
whim. Izzard is great at saying things like “never put those two things
together again” (while pretending to write on his hand) or “that’s a good
laugh right there, I enjoyed it.” Louis C.K. will go on and on about the
fucked-up thoughts in his head.
At the right level, it’d seem like nothing can escape your power of
observations. You can make something exciting out of the simplest
actions.
Conclusion
So there you have it. Why is being meta so seductive? Because it shows
awareness—one of the pillars of a highly confident individual (or alpha, as
some call it). It also shows assertiveness, the courage to speak one’s
minds, and the responsibility in doing so. When you are meta, you aren’t
invested in what other people think about you, only in how you think.
Meta-ness, of course, is your observations through your own subjective
lenses. By pushing it to the surface, you say it as if it was a fact. That
influences people to take your point of view and go along with wherever
you are leading them. A seductive trait indeed!