Parenting tips: How to improve toddler

behavior..
Toddlers are infamous for tantrums and other behavior issues.To encourage listening and cooperation, follow these
parenting tips.

Life can be frustrating for toddlers. Though eager to be independent, young children can't always move as swiftly as
they'd like or clearly express their needs. They also tend to have trouble dealing with limits, compromise and
disappointment. This can lead to tantrums and misbehavior.But you can teach your toddler to behave well by providing
love, clear rules and a degree of routine. Consider these practical parenting tips.

Prioritize rules
Rather than overloading your child with rules from the outset — which might frustrate him or her — prioritize those
geared toward safety first and gradually add rules over time. Help your toddler follow the rules by childproofing your
home and eliminating some temptations.

Prevent tantrums
It's normal for a toddler to have temper tantrums. To reduce the frequency, duration or intensity of your child's
tantrums:

 Know your child's limits. Your child might misbehave because he or she doesn't understand or can't do
what you're asking.

 Explain how to follow the rules. Instead of saying, "Stop hitting," offer suggestions for how to make play
go more smoothly, such as "Why don't you two take turns?"

 Take 'no' in stride. Don't overreact when your toddler says no. Instead, calmly repeat your request. You
might also try to distract your child or make a game out of good behavior. Your child will be more likely to do
what you want if you make an activity fun.

 Pick your battles. If you say no to everything, your child is likely to get frustrated. Look for times when it's
OK to say yes.

 Offer choices, when possible. Encourage your child's independence by letting him or her pick out a pair of
pajamas or a bedtime story.

 Avoid situations that might trigger frustration or tantrums.For example, don't give your child toys
that are too advanced for him or her. Avoid long outings in which your child has to sit still or can't play — or
bring along an activity. Also know that children are more likely to act out when they're tired, hungry, sick or in
an unfamiliar setting.

 Stick to the schedule. Keep a daily routine so that your child will know what to expect.

 Encourage communication. Remind your child to use words to express his or her feelings. If your child isn't
speaking yet, consider teaching him or her baby sign language to avoid frustration.

Enforce consequences
Despite your best efforts, at some point your toddler will break the rules. Ignore minor displays of anger, such
as crying — but if your child hits, kicks or screams for a prolonged period, remove him or her from the situation.
Consider using these parenting tips to encourage your child to cooperate:

 Natural consequences. Let your child see the consequences of his or her actions — as long as they're not
dangerous. If your child throws and breaks a toy, he or she won't have the toy to play with anymore.
 Logical consequences. Create a consequence for your child's actions. Tell your child if he or she doesn't
pick up his or her toys, you will take the toys away for a day. Help your child with the task, if necessary. If
your child doesn't cooperate, follow through with the consequence

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 Withholding privileges. If your child doesn't behave, respond by taking away something that your child
values — such as a favorite toy — or something that's related to his or her misbehavior. Don't take away
something your child needs, such as a meal
 Timeout. When your child acts out, get down to his or her level and briefly and calmly explain why the
behavior is unacceptable. Encourage your child to try a more appropriate activity. If the poor behavior
continues, guide your child to a designated timeout spot — ideally a quiet place with no distractions.
Enforce the timeout until your child is calm and can listen to you. Afterward, reassure your child of your
love and guide him or her to a positive activity.

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Whatever consequences you choose, be consistent. Make sure that every adult who cares for your child
observes the same rules and discipline guidelines. This reduces your child's confusion and need to test you.
Also, be careful to criticize your child's behavior — not your child. Instead of saying, "You're a bad boy," try,
"Don't run into the street." Never resort to punishments that emotionally or physically harm your child.
Spanking, slapping and screaming at a child are never appropriate.

Set a good example

Children learn how to act by watching their parents. The best way to show your child how to behave
is to set a positive example for him or her to follow.

Top Secrets of Toddler Discipline

How to punish a toddler the right way!

Just saying “no” doesn’t always work. How to get your child to
live and learn -- and not lose your cool in the process.

Have you ever found yourself in deep negotiations with your 2-year-old over whether she can wear
her princess costume to preschool for the fifth day in a row? Have you taken the "walk of shame"
out of the local supermarket after your toddler threw a temper tantrum on the floor? There may be
comfort in knowing you’re not alone, but that doesn’t make navigating the early years of discipline
any easier.
Toddlerhood is a particularly vexing time for parents because this is the age at which children start
to become more independent and discover themselves as individuals. Yet they still have a limited
ability to communicate and reason.
Child development specialist Claire Lerner, director of parenting resources for the nonprofit
organization Zero to Three, says, "They understand that their actions matter -- they can make
things happen. This leads them to want to make their imprint on the world and assert themselves in
a way they didn't when they were a baby. The problem is they have very little self-control and
they're not rational thinkers. It's a very challenging combination."
Here are a few simple toddler discipline strategies to help make life easier for your whole family
when your self-asserting toddler needs direction.

1. Be Consistent
Order and routine give young children a safe haven from what they view as an overwhelming and
unpredictable world, Lerner says. "When there's some predictability and routine, it makes children
feel much more safe and secure, and they tend to be much more behaved and calm because they
know what to expect."
Try to keep to the same schedule every day. That means having consistent nap times, mealtimes,
and bedtimes as well as times when your toddler is free to just run around and have fun.
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Warn your child in advance if you do have to make a change. Telling your child "Aunt Jean is going
to watch you tonight while Mommy and Daddy go out for a little bit" will prepare her for a slightly
different routine and may prevent a scene at bedtime.
Consistency is also important when it comes to discipline. When you say "no hitting" the first time
your child smacks another child on the playground, you also need to say "no hitting" the second,
third, and fourth time your child does it.

2. Avoid Stressful Situations

By the time your child has reached the toddler stage, you've spent enough time with him or her to
know what triggers reactions. The most common ones are hunger, sleepiness, and quick changes of
venue. Avoid these potential meltdown scenarios with a little advance planning.

Pediatrician Lisa Asta, associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of California, San
Francisco, says, "You have to anticipate, which means you don't go to the grocery store when your
child needs a nap."
Try to make sure your child is home at naptimes, bedtimes, and mealtimes. If you are out, always
keep food on hand in case of a sudden hunger attack. Keep excursions short (that means finding
another restaurant if the one you've chosen has an hour-long wait or doing your grocery
shopping at times when the lines are shortest). Finally, plan ahead so you don't have to rush
(particularly when you need to get your child to preschool and yourself to work in the mornings).
You can ease transitions by involving your child in the process. That can be as simple as setting an
egg timer for five minutes and saying that when it rings it's time to take a bath or get dressed. Or it
can be as easy as giving your child a choice of whether to wear the red or the blue shirt to school.
Remember to think out loud and update your son or daughter about what is next on the schedule.
Toddlers can understand much more than they can express.

3. Think Like a Toddler

Toddlers aren't mini-adults. They have trouble understanding many of the things we take for
granted, like how to follow directions and behave appropriately. Seeing the scenario from a toddler's
perspective can help prevent a tantrum.

"You might say, 'I know, Derek, you don't like getting into the car seat. But it's what we have to
do,'" Lerner says. "So you're not coddling, but you're validating their feelings. You have to set the
limit, but you do it in a way that respects the child, and you use it as an opportunity to help them
learn to cope with life's frustrations and rules and regulations."
Giving choices also shows that you respect your toddler and recognize the child's feelings. Asking
your child if he or she wants to bring a favorite book in the car or take along a snack can make the
child feel as though he or she has some control over the situation while you remain in charge,
Lerner says

4. Practice the Art of Distraction

Make your toddler's short attention span work for you. When your child throws the ball against
the dining room wall for the 10th time after you've said to stop, it's pretty easy to redirect your
child to a more productive activity, like trading the ball for a favorite book or moving the game
outside.
Rex Forehand, the Heinz and Rowena Ansbacher Professor of Psychology at the University of
Vermont and author of Parenting the Strong-Willed Child, says, "[Parents] need to create an
environment that is most conducive to good toddler behavior. If they're into something they're
not supposed to do, the idea is not to punish them but to get another activity going or pick them
up and put them in another room."

5. Give Your Child a Break

Time-outs are one of the foundations of child discipline, but they may not be the best approach
for the toddler stage. The negative implication of being sent away can teach kids that they're
bad rather than promote good behavior. If you do give your child a time-out, limit it to just a
minute or two at this age. Instead of calling it a time-out, which can be confusing to children under
3, refer to it as something more positive.
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Lerner suggests creating a "cozy corner," a safe place free from distractions and stimulation where
your child can just chill out for a few minutes until he or she can get back in control. That time away
can help you regroup as well.
Correct bad behaviors, but also take the time to praise good behaviors. Asta says,"If you don't tell
your child when they're doing the right thing, sometimes they'll do the wrong thing just to get
attention." When you tell your toddler he or she has done something good, there's a good chance
your child will want to do it again.

6. Stay Calm
It’s easy for your blood pressure to reach the boiling point when you’re in the middle of watching
your child throw a tantrum. But losing control will quickly escalate an already stressful situation.
Give yourself some time to cool off, Forehand says. "Otherwise, you're venting your own anger. In
the end that's going to make you, as a parent, feel worse and guilty. And it's not going to do your
child any good." "I call it the 'Stepford Wife' approach," Lerner says. "As your child screams, say, 'I
know, I know,' but stay completely calm as you pick him up. Don't show any emotion."
Sometimes the best tactic is to ignore the behavior entirely. "You just literally act like they're not
doing what they're doing," Lerner says. "You ignore the behavior you want to stop." When your child
realizes that his screaming fit is not going to get him a second lollipop or your attention, eventually
he'll get tired of yelling.

Your child may drive you so close to the breaking point that you're tempted to spank him. But most
experts warn against the practice. "When we spank, kids learn that physical punishment is
acceptable. And so we are modeling exactly what we don't want our kids to do," Forehand says. At
the toddler stage, redirection and brief breaks are far more effective discipline tactics, he says.

7. Know When to Give In

Certain things in a toddler's life are nonnegotiable. She has to eat, brush her teeth, and ride in a car
seat. She also has to take baths once in a while. Hitting and biting are never OK. But many other
issues aren't worth the headache of an argument. Pick your battles.

"You have to decide whether it's worth fighting about, and about half the time it's not worth fighting
about," Asta says. That means it's OK to let your son wear his superhero costume to the grocery
store or read The Giving Tree 10 times in a row. Once he gets what he wants, you can gradually get
him to shift in another direction -- like wearing another outfit or picking out a different book to read.
Finally, know that it's OK to feel stressed out by your toddler sometimes. "Realize that none of us as
parents is perfect -- we do the best we can. There are going to be days that we're better at this
than other days," Forehand says. "But if we parent consistently and have consistent rules, then
we're going to see more good days than bad days."