TAPESCRIPT

Section 1
Int: Today I’m with the much-loved comedian and writer
Jane Clarkson. Obviously Jane, this year has been quite a turning point for you ...
Jane: Well, I’ll never stop doing comedy, but there were practical reasons for wanting to
take some time off and write a book. I felt my daughter had been neglected. She was just
about to make the tricky transition from primary to secondary school and I thought she
needed her mum around. I seem to have spent most of her life in a van touring from
venue to venue for my comedy act.
And I did enjoy being at home for a bit, although I
missed the applause and the laughter. When I finished writing in the evening, I’d turn the
computer off and there’d be nothing, which was hard to get used to.
Int: How was your novel received?
Jane: Well, a lot of male comedians had written books, so there was a bit of a bandwagon
waiting to be jumped on, but with my impeccable timing I jumped slightly late, when
everyone was starting to get heartily sick of comedians’ books. Also there’s a kind of
fury coming from some journalists about comics writing books.
They’re absolutely livid, as if they see your book in a bookshop and they jump up and
down, shouting, ‘It’s not fair! Why should she make money out of writing as well as
performing?’
Int: Was it a difficult transition?
Jane: Well, if you think logically, writing is the obvious step.
I’ve spent years trying to make people listen to my
anecdotes, so that must count for something! Also, if you’ve been an observational
comedian, which I am, it’s not a great leap to use those skills you’ve developed, like
observing odd mannerisms to use for jokes, and turn them into a book. At least that’s
what I felt, but you don’t become a writer instantly. I’ll have to wait and see whether it
was just beginners’ luck.
Int: I think why people give you a hard time about the novel is surely because we’re so
trapped into thinking Jane Clarkson is a comedian. It’s as though, you know, you can’t do
anything else, which is quite ridiculous because
you’ve been writing radio comedy for years.
Jane: Yes, people do become obsessed about what you are. The character I adopted for
my comedy act became rather a burden after a while. When I started going on stage
alone, I was very young and I wasn’t entirely convincing as a comedian because nervous
young women on stage actually frighten audiences.
They’re convinced you’re going to fail and burst into tears, which will be very
embarrassing. So there’s a palpable tension in the room
and some audiences actually boo the female comedians
off the stage.

Int: How did you deal with that?

Jane: Well, I had to counteract that stereotype so I started
coming on shouting and being madder and crosser than
any audience could ever be and that defused the
tension. In fact, I rather overdid it and my character got
cruder than I ever really intended. I got so good at it that
people got confused between the everyday Jane and the
stage Jane.
Int: What attracted you in the first place to performing, and
particularly to making people laugh?
Jane: Oh, from an early age, I knew I wanted to be an actress. I
innocently thought I was going to be a glamorous film
star. The reason I started to do comedy acts was that in
the 1980s a lot of small provincial theatres closed down.
In the past, girls would’ve come out of drama school and
if they had a leaning towards comedy they’d join one of
these small theatres and play a variety of comedy roles
in all sorts of plays from Shakespeare to contemporary
stuff. All of a sudden, with the demise of these theatres,
rooms above pubs opened up and comedians started
telling jokes and developing their acts there. It was
cheap, one performer one microphone, and anyone
could do it. In some ways, it’s a healthier performance
art than acting, because with acting you’re at the mercy
of everybody else deciding whether you can work or notWith stand-up comedy, you
might only get paid peanutsbut nobody can stop you from just driving to a venue,
often hundreds of miles in terrible weather, and going
on stage.
Int: But what is it when you’re actually on stage … [fade]
Section 2
A talk from a member of the conservation Society about 'green cleaning'
Good morning everyone. It's a pleasure to be here as a representative of the Conservation
Society, to talk to you about "Green Cleaning", in other words about ways you can help
to save the environment at the same time as saving money.
I'll start with saving money - as we're all interested in that, especially students who are
living on a tight budget. Probably none of you has sat down and calculated how much
you spend on cleaning products each year everything from dishwashing detergent,
window cleaners and so on through to shampoos and conditioners for your hair, and then
those disasters products to get stains out of carpets, or to rescue burnt saucepans. I can
see some nods of agreement, even if you don't spend a lot of time on housework you'd
end up spending quite a lot of money over a period of time, wouldn't you? We can save
money on products and also use products which are cheap, biodegradable and harmless to
the environment - these I will call 'green' products. Unfortunately most cleaning products
on sale commercially are none of these, and many of our waterways and oceans are
polluted with bleach, dioxins, phosphates and artificial colourings and perfumes. Also
think how many plastic bottles each household throws away over a year -they'll still be
around in land-fill when you are grandparents! So we often feel there's nothing we can do
to make a difference, but we can. The actual 'recipes' are on handouts you can take at the
end of the talk: The sorts of ingredients I'm referring to are things like bicarbonate of
soda, eucalyptus oil, ammonia, vinegar, lemons, pure soap. Lastly many people find
they're allergic to modem products, so for all you asthma sufferers keep listening.
Nothing in these recipes should cause you any problems, an end to itching and wheezing!
So let’s start with spills and stains. Soda water is wonderful as an immediate stain
remover: mop up the excess spill don't rub but apply soda water immediately - it's great
for tea coffee wine beer and milk - as is salt or bicarbonate of soda, which will absorb the
stain - then vacuum when dry and shampoo if necessary.
While we are talking about disasters lets quickly look at some others that can be avoided.
Bicarbonate of soda is wonderful for removing smells, especially in the fridge - an open
box in the fridge will eliminate smells for up to three months. And those terrible burnt
saucepans? Either sprinkle with our good friend bicarb again and leave it to stand, or
cover with vinegar and a layer of cooking salt.
Bring it to the boil and simmer for ten minutes, then wash when cool. Much cheaper than
a new saucepan! Then there are heat rings on wooden furniture. Simply rub with a
mixture of salt and olive oil, or for scratched furniture use olive oil and vinegar.
Now let's look at general cleaning - first the floors. If your floor covering is made of
slate, cork or ceramic tiles or lino it probably only needs a mop or a scrub with vinegar in
a bucket of water. Carpets can be shampooed using a combination of pure soap washing
soda, cloudy ammonia and some boiling water. You put a small amount of this mixture
onto the mark on the carpet, rub with a cloth until it lathers and then wipe off the excess.
A smelly carpet can be deodorized by sprinkling bicarbonate of soda on the surface,
leaving overnight and vacuuming off the next day. Cleaning in the kitchen, bathroom and
toilet is the next section....

Section 3
Women are graduating from college at higher rates than ever before. Earning more than
half of bachelor’s degrees last year. Companies are increasingly focused on the benefits
of gender equality in the workplace. However, the situation for women in the workplace
is not changing fast enough.
Women make up 45% at entry level position across the workforce; which decreases to
32% at management roles. At the top, women only make up seventeen percent of the C-
suite. At the current rate of progress, it would be one hundred years before we see real
equality in the C-suite. Contrary to popular belief, women are leaving organisations at the
same rate as men. However, women are less eager to become a top executive citing stress
and pressure as the key deterrents. 
Most women see barriers to advancement and feel they have fewer opportunities to
advance due to their gender. While 74% of companies claim gender equality is a priority
for their CEO, less than half of the employees believe it. And only one-third feel it is a
top priority for their direct manager. More than 90% of women and men believe taking
extended family leave will hurt their career. So while programs widely exist, participation
is low. 
This inequality even extends to the home. 41 % of working women report doing more
childcare than men, 30% report doing more chores but this does not need to be our reality
while these facts are a wake-up call we can affect real change. Here are five key actions
companies can take. 
1)Track key metrics to understand the problem: you cannot change why you cannot see. 
2)Demonstrate that gender equality is a top priority: employees must believe that their
leaders want change. 
3)Identify and interrupt gender bias : we all have unconscious biases to overcome. 
4)Rethink work: redefine what successful careers look like. 
5)Create a level playing field: make sure opportunities and advancement are equitable. 
It is up to all of us to take action, to speed the process of gender equality so everyone
benefits, individuals, organisation and society. To learn more go to the
womenintheworkplace.com.

Section 4
Over the past few years as first lady, I have had the extraordinary privilege of traveling
all across this country and everywhere I’ve gone and the people I've met and the stories
I’ve heard, I have seen the very best of the American spirit.
See, our life before moving to Washington was, was filled with simple joys. Saturdays at
soccer games, Sundays at grandma’s house, and a date night for Barack and me was
either dinner or movie because as an exhausted mum I couldn’t stay awake for both.
Even back then when Barack was a senator and a presidential candidate to me he was still
the guy who picked me up for our dates in a car that was so wasted out that I could
actually see the pavement going by in a hole in the passenger side door. He was the guy
whose proudest possession was a coffee table he'd found in a dumpster. 
Well today, after so many struggles and trials and moments that‘ve tested my husband in
ways I never could have imagined, I have seen first-hand that being president doesn’t
change who you are. No it reveals who you are.
When it comes to the health of our families, Barack refused to listen to all those folks to
told him to leave health reforms for another day, another president. He didn’t care
whether it was the easy thing to do politically, no that's not how he was raised. He cared
that it was the right thing to do. 
When we were first married our combined monthly student loan bill was actually higher
than our mortgage. 
Yeah!! We were so young, so in love, and so in debt.
If we wanna give all of our children a foundation for their dreams and opportunities
worthy of their promise. If we wanna give them that sense of limitless possibility, that
belief that here in America there was always something better out there if you're willing
to work for it. Then we must work like never before, and we must once again come
together and stand together for the man we can trust to keep moving this great country
forward.
My husband, our president, Barack Obama.
Thank you, God bless you, God bless America.