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AWP Rewrite Directions and Explanations

Directions:
1. Make changes to your AWP based on the Turnitin.com feedback and the resources in
the AWP folder.
2. Highlight the changes you made.
3. Explain the change you made and why that change makes the paper better in the boxes
below. Explain each change you made in its own row. Add as many rows as you need
to explain all the changes you made.
4. Copy and paste your revised AWP to this document.
5. Submit this document to Schoology.

*Your grade will be averaged between your original grade and your new grade. The more
changes you make, the more your grade will improve.

MLA Formatting and Works Cited Changes (list any changes you made in terms of your
headers, title, spacing, font choice, and Works Cited section):
BRIEFLY explain the change you made BRIEFLY explain why this change makes
(what was in the original; what did you your paper better
change it to?)

Introductory Paragraph:
Briefly explain the change you made (what
was in the original; what did you change it
to?)
I replaced my hook. I originally put in the
definition of what a Christ-figure is and for
thee rewrite I explained why Fitzgerald
choose to use a Christ like figure to convey
his message throughout the book.
i added to the end of my thesis to clarify to
reader how those three examples lead back to
what my hook states.
Explain why this change makes your paper
better
I Replaced the hook so that I can illustrates
the message Fitzgerald is sending through the
use of the Christ-figure instead of using the
definition of archetypes. 
Reminds the reader what Fitzgerald was
trying to express in his writing by using a
Christ like figure.

Body Paragraph #1:

Briefly explain the change you made (what Explain why this change makes your paper

was in the original; what did you change it
to?)
I added a comma after parties.
the 1st highlighted parts used to be 1 sentence,
so I cut it into multiple sentences.
In the 2nd highlighted portion I separated the
sentence in two and added a transition word.
I changed knew to know.
I cut out the front of the sentence and
rephrased it.
I added a better transition, “after the party”
I changed both of the verb’s tenses.
I added a semi colon to the run-on sentence.
I change “there” to “their”
I removed the comma and added “so that”
Body Paragraph #2:
Briefly explain the change you made (what
was in the original; what did you change it
to?)
I changed it from “Gatsby’s” to “Gatsby”
Replaced the comma with a colon
I add a period in the run-on sentence.
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better
This change makes reading the sentence a lot
easier on my reader.
Once again this makes it easier to read for the
reader because the sentences was to
convoluted.
I feel like this made my essay better because
reading that as a whole sentence made it
awkward. I also removed an awkward clause.
I changed this verb tense because I was being
consistent on my verb tenses, which could
cause confusion to my readers.
I did this because the sentence was to
repetitive.
I added this transition because it helps guide
the reader as to where we are in the book and
so that they know that it happened after the
first Concrete detail.
I did this because I felt that using this tense fit
in better with the rest of the sentence.
This helped my essay because it created a
pause within this run-on sentence without
completely breaking it apart with a period.
I had used the wrong form of “their”
confusing my reader before.
I added this to make a dependent construction
by linking it to the other with a subordinate
conjunction.
Explain why this change makes your paper
better
I did this because the word should not had
plural and did not need an apostrophe.
I did this to create a greater pause to the
sentence before stating my concrete detail,
This hopefully makes it easier for my reader
to read. And they will not be confused,
helping me get my message across.

I fixed another run-on sentence.
I removed the word “towards” and added
“initiated”
Added comma
I fixed the run-on sentences and cut it into
three.
I added a comma to the last sentence.
Body Paragraph #3:
Briefly explain the change you made (what
was in the original; what did you change it
to?)
I changed “attributing” to “which attributed”
I changed “with” to “towards”
I changed an grouped the statement better.
I rewrote the analysis because it was to
confusing for the reader.
Conclusion:
Briefly explain the change you made (from
what to what?)
I removed the final sentence and added
another statement.
Isabella Sanchez
Storer
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I separated it into 3 sentences, because it was
to much information for just one sentence
which ultimately confused the reader.
This preposition just wasn’t right it was not
explained and added to the sentences best.
The sentence need a pause after Mrtyle, it
didn’t flow properly, and this comma helped
it.
I felt like there were to many thing going on
in just 1 sentences so instead of removing
everything I decided to separate it.
I felt that the sentence need a comma because
it need a natural pause between it.
Explain why this change makes your paper
better
I did this because “attributing” by itself made
the sentence sound awkward. Changing it to
“which attributed”, (I think) fixed it.
I though that the preposition “towards”
emphasizes my point better and made what I
was trying to say clearer.
I did this because I was confusing my reader.
I put all of the statements that were about
Jesus together, and all of the statement about
Gatsby together. I did this to cause less
confusion.
The analysis jumped back and for between
Jesus and Gatsby. So I made the transitions
between the two clearer.
Explain why this change makes your paper
better
This new statement explains the message
Fitzgerald was trying to communicate to his
readers through this comparison.
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English 3 Honors

May 16, 2020

Jay Gatsby as a Christ-figure

An author uses imagery to convey specific thoughts and emotions from his readers. Fitzgerald

wanted the readers to believe that the American dream had died, and to further ingrain his belief

in the readers minds, he destroys religion and morality, but the final and most dismal reality

Fitzgerald faces with his readers is that no man is a great man the only great man encountered in

The Great Gatsby is the son of God who is superior to man, and cannot be judged by the same

rules. In F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby, the intriguing and mysterious character Jay

Gatsby is undoubtedly represented as at Christ figure. Jay Gatsby can be considered a Christ-

figure because of the rumors the surround his identity, Gatsby’s ultimate death echoing that oft

Jesus’ crucifixion, and how he had strikingly similar characteristics tot those oft the Son of God,

express Fitzgerald’s message throughout the novel.

Both Jay Gatsby and Jesus were misunderstood as tot who they really were. In one of

Gatsby’s extravagant parties, the guests began to converse over what they thought Gatsby’s past

held. Nick overheard the conversation and grew more and more curious over Gatsby’s unknown

past: “The two girls and Jordan leaned together confidentially. ‘Somebody told me they thought

he killed a man once.’ A thrill passed over all of us. The three Mr. Mumbles bent forward and

listened eagerly” (Fitzgerald 44). Gatsby’s guests had spread exaggerated rumors and theories as

tot how Gatsby came to be and who he really is. During Christ’s time many people were

spreading the word of how powerful Christ was and how he could become at rich and powerful

King. After experiencing hist abilities to health and make commands that will come true the

people began to misunderstand Him. Besides from all of the people who did not understand or
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truly know them, there were few who believed and trusted in them. Carraway developed a

friendship with Gatsby that allowed him to trust in him. After the party, he contemplated over all

of the false accusations he had heard about his friend, Nick overcame his confusion and decided

to trust in Gatsby, “He told me all this very much later, but I’ve put it down here with the idea of

exploding those first wild rumors about his antecedents, which weren’t even faintly true.

Moreover, he told it to me at a time of confusion, when I had reached the point of believing

everything and nothing about him” (Fitzgerald 101). Gatsby began to reveal his past little by

little as Nick tried to leave the false rumors behind and truly believe that what Gatsby reveals is

the truth. Carraway resembles all Jesus’ disciples; even though they all questioned if the rumors

were real, they surmounted the confusion and stayed faithful to their friend and leader. Both

Nick and many of the disciples followed Gatsby and Jesus throughout their lives up to the day of

their deaths so that the reader can acknowledge the parallel between Gatsby’s death and Jesus’.

The road to both Gatsby and Jesus’ deaths included at form oft sacrifice, betrayal, and

ultimately dying fort other’s sins. Before Gatsby’s tragic death he passed time in Nick’s garden,

accompanied by the love of his life, Daisy Buchanan. During one of Gatsby’s parties Nick finds

Daisy and Jay in his garden: “Then they sauntered over to my house and sat on the steps for half

an hour while at her request I remained watchfully in the garden: ‘In case there’s a fire or a

flood,’ she explained, ‘or any act of God” (Fitzgerald 105). The garden symbolizes the garden of

Gethsemane, where Jesus spent his last moments before his death. Jesus was accompanied by

some of his apostles just how Gatsby was with Daisy. This moment was marked as a

steppingstone for them, initiating the journey towards their death. Jesus was turned in by Judas

and after that party Tom Buchanan began to question Gatsby and his past which led Tom to

betray him later on. After the death of Myrtle, Nick found Gatsby hiding in the Buchanan’s
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bushes. Gatsby explained the previous life-changing incident and added that he would do

whatever it took to protect Daisy. Unknowingly, Gatsby was putting his life on the line. When

Nick asked him about the accident Gatsby said, “Yes,’ he said after a moment, ‘but of course I’ll

say I was. You see, when we left New York she was very nervous, and she thought it would

steady her to drive—and this woman rushed out at us just as we were passing a car coming the

other way” (Fitzgerald 143). Gatsby conclusively died for Tom and Daisy’s sins. The days after

Gatsby was murdered by George Wilson, the media blamed Gatsby fort Tom’s sin, the affair

with Myrtle, and Daisy’s sin, the murder of Myrtle. Jesus died for all of humanities sins and

salvation, and because of His death humans were allowed to live a better life, just how Tom and

Daisy got away with their problems.

Throughout the novel Gatsby was portrayed with God-like qualities which attributed to

his resemblance towards Jesus Christ. Nick described Gatsby at the beginning of the novel by

saying, “If personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures, then there was something

gorgeous about him, some heightened sensitivity to the promises of life, as if he were related to

one of those intricate machines that register earthquakes ten thousand miles away” (Fitzgerald 2).

The reader can’t observe how Christ promises life eternal, and throughout his life his followers

could experience his, “extraordinary gift of hope”. In the novel, Gatsby hast also seen the

promises of life, and his hope is illustrated through hist desired tot bet with Daisy and hist belief

in “the green light” that represents the hope fort the future with her. Gatsby’s strong belief int

hope connects to both Jesus having an abundance of hope and how one of the “theological

virtues” is hope. Another example to expand of how Gatsby is a Christ-like figure is another

statement that Nick said about Gatsby: “He was a son of God a phrase which, if it means

anything, means just that and he must be about His Father’s Business, the service of a vast,
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vulgar and meretricious beauty. So, he invented just the sort of Jay Gatsby that a seventeen-year-

old boy would be likely to invent, and to this conception he was faithful to the end” (Fitzgerald

98). Nick refers to Gatsby as the “Son of God” and as the “the service of a vast, vulgar, and

meretricious beauty”. Being referred to in this way, symbolizes the affinity to Jesus who is the

real Son of God, and it also showcases how God sent Jesus so that He could fulfill His plan

which was to save humanity. Throughout His life Jesus followed God’s orders and took His

advice just how Gatsby learned from and followed in Dan Cody’s footsteps.

Gatsby is one of literatures greatest Christ-like figures. He resembles Christ because of

the rumors that surround him, the road that lead to his death which reflected Jesus’ crucifixion,

and how throughout the novel he was depicted with similar characteristics that Jesus has.

Throughout these unfulfilled allusions, Fitzgerald points to a world where religion and

spirituality are in decline and their secular alternative is found wanting by using a Christ-like

figure.

Works Cited
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Fitzgerald, F. Scott. The Great Gatsby. PENGUIN Books, 2019, www.planetebook.com/free-

ebooks/the-great-gatsby.pdf.