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Guide
Weight
Loss

&
You
Lose just a few
and fınd rewards
at work, at play,
at home—even
in the bedroom

165
Guide
The “Perfect Body” Myth
Better sex is only a few pounds away
BY CYNTHIA DERMODY
I t’s that time of year again, when
men replay the Victoria’s Secret
Fashion Show or thumb through
the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue
while their women sit nearby feeling
lousy about their postholiday weight
gain. These models have set the new
standard for sexiness: large, pert (and
often surgically enhanced) breasts,
a microscopic waist and perfectly
sculpted, cellulite-free hips and thighs.
Thanks to pop culture icons,
American women think that having
a body like five-nine, 119-pound
Heidi Klum’s is the answer to a siz-
zling and sexy relationship. When
Reader’s Digest asked women when
they feel sexiest, they said it was
when they weighed less than they
do now. In fact, 80 percent said that
losing weight would improve their
sex life (among women who con-
sider themselves obese, it jumps to
95 percent). Men showed insecuri-
ties too. A whopping 70 percent
think a slimmer waistline would
lead to better sex, and 42 percent
said they would go shirtless only in
front of their partner.
But here’s the big disconnect: De-
spite idealized images, guys really
166
don’t expect (or even want) their
wives or girlfriends to be super-
model thin. And women aren’t look-
ing for Brad Pitt in their beds. Yes,
overweight people are having good
sex. They know what researchers
and scientists are beginning to un-
cover: A great sexual experience
comes mostly from our minds, not
from perfectly proportioned bodies.
In fact, striving to look like a
lingerie model may be a sexual
turnoff. The average body mass
index (BMI) of those models is
an unhealthy and underweight 17.
Women with a BMI of 18.5 are less
likely to conceive, and they suffer
a drop in hormones that contribute
to libido. So that smoldering stork-
like model may look phenomenal
in the pages of fashion magazines—
but may not be a firecracker in bed.
Extra Pounds Can Be Sexy
Overweight adults are not only
having lots of sex, they’re also
getting extreme enjoyment out of it,
says Martin Binks, PhD, director of
behavioral health at the Diet &
Fitness Center at Duke University.
Binks’s study subjects are trying to
READER’S DIGEST I JANUARY ’08
 ❯ When asked
to rate
themselves as
“yuck,” “OK”
or “hot,” 14%
of women and
20% of men
chose “hot.”
More than
25% of women
chose “yuck.”
Just 13% of
men did.

drop pounds and probably should Still, after a year of dieting, partic-
PHOTOGRAPHED BY PIERRE DUFOUR

for health reasons. But what’s
remarkable is that the biggest
improvement in their sex lives
came when they lost just 10 percent
of their body weight. “That’s a very
minimal weight loss, and these
people were still substantially over-
weight,” he says.
JANUARY ’08 I rd.com
ipants who had felt sexually unat-
tractive went from 68 percent to
26 percent. All this goes to show
that sex is more about attitude than
weight, says Binks.
In addition to having a more
positive body image, people who’ve
lost weight have more energy and
167
feel more comfortable communicat-
ing with a partner about sexual tech-
niques, fantasies and feelings.
What’s more, having meaningful,
not recreational, sex induces the
release of the hormone oxytocin.
“It makes a person feel love and
empathy,” says noted heart surgeon
Mehmet C. Oz, MD, co-author of the
You series of health books. “Mean-
168
ingful sex can also lower blood pres-
sure, and it tells the gut not to send
signals to the brain to eat.” Bottom
line: A healthy sex drive can lead to
weight loss.
There’s an emotional link too: “It
makes sense that women who are
feeling very full are less interested
in sex,” says Sonya Satinsky, project
coordinator for the Center for Sex-
READER’S DIGEST I JANUARY ’08
 Guide
ual Health Promotion at Indiana Evolutionary psychologist Deven-
University. One possible explana- dra Singh, PhD, of the University of
tion, she says, goes back to having Texas, says men are actually not
bad feelings about their body, lead- concerned about a woman’s weight:
ing to a lack of desire. They’re attracted first and foremost
to an hourglass shape, which in
Men Worry Too most cases means a waist that is 70
Women aren’t the only ones who percent as wide as a woman’s hips,
are misguided about weight and regardless of dress size, a proportion
sex. “Men are increasingly dissatis- that’s a sign of high fertility.
fied with their bodies,” says Viren But Swami’s
Swami, PhD, of the University of research suggests
Westminster in England, who has
extensively studied the science of
different cultures
have different
❯ 35% of men
said they would
love to have a
attraction. “Some want to be thinner, standards. Men in
but most want to be more muscular, Western countries body like Brad
and they are increasingly attempting like England and Pitt’s in the
movie Troy.
to bulk up.” the United States
Some 5% said
By some accounts, the rate of flock to thinner
they’d be happy
steroid use among adolescent boys women (with a BMI to look like
is now comparable to the rate of of around 21). Guys chubby Kevin
anorexia and bulimia among adoles- in Mediterranean James in The
cent girls. No wonder, since boys countries like Kingof Queens.
are being targeted with images of Spain and Portu-
hairless, V-shaped Adonises in fit- gal, which are less
ness magazines and on-screen. affluent and still developing in many
ways, consider larger women with
Laws of Attraction curves extremely desirable. This
Throughout history, having a fit may explain why Latin American
and healthy body helped humans men go gaga over divas with well-
find a mate and reproduce success- endowed bottoms, like Jennifer
fully. Centuries ago, certain female Lopez. “In most traditional societies,
traits (youth, a small waist, big people who are able to put on body
breasts) indicated fertility. In turn, fat are rich and can afford to buy
certain male traits (broad shoulders, food,” Swami says.
dominance, good provider) indi- Men whose ancestors hail from
cated his ability to protect and care regions where food was scarce
for mother and child. year-round or seasonally (like parts
JANUARY ’08 I rd.com 169
 Guide
of Africa) find heavier women very
fertile and therefore sexy, says
Robert Friar, PhD, a professor of
biology at Ferris State University.
When given a choice, women
do prefer men with broad shoulders
and a thin waist, according to a 2006
study by researcher Margaret Braun
of Portland State University. But
physique is not that crucial. “When
women are look-
ing for someone
study author Marianne Peters of
the University of Western Australia:
The face reveals intelligence, per-
sonality and confidence level—all
things that increase the odds of a
great sexual relationship much more
than a smaller pant size.
Personality Counts
“If Queen Latifah doesn’t think
she’s sexy, she sure does a good job
of fooling us,” says Pepper Schwartz,

❯ More than
26% of women
who say they’re
to settle down
with, they start
PhD, a sociology professor at the
University of Washington in Seattle.
focusing on other “She carries herself like she’s a babe.
overweight important things,” And a lot of men think she is.”
would rather
eat live bugs says evolutionary Once we get to know a person, the
psychologist Jason non-physical aspects become much
than let their
partner watch Weeden, PhD, of more important in long-term rela-
them walk out Arizona State tionships and pleasurable sex, says
of a well-lit University. “Is he Swami. Still, this is one area of study
room naked. going to be a good in which scientists may never have
provider? Is he a absolute understanding. “Even after
reliable guy? Does all the studies I’ve done,” he says, “I
he want the same things she does?” still find myself thinking about what
For both sexes, the real key to attracts me to someone else, and I
attraction may lie due north. The don’t really have an answer. We’ve
face is a stronger predictor of sexi- always assumed there’s one type of
ness than the body. In a recent study, person that we always go for, but
24 people ages 18 to 25 rated digital that isn’t the case. We see a myriad
photos of faces and clothed bodies of people in our everyday lives, and
to determine which one figured we’re attracted to different people at
more strongly into overall attrac- different times for different reasons.
tiveness. Women thought a man’s There is a part of attraction that
face accounted for nearly half of his should remain shrouded in mystery.”
overall attractiveness. For men, the After all, a bit of mystery can
face was an even stronger predictor make sex a lot more fun.
of sexiness. The theory, according to Additional reporting by Kathryn M. Tyranski

170 READER’S DIGEST I JANUARY ’08

 Guide
>>CALORIE
SHOCKERS
Think those ketchup pack-
ets are too small to wreck
your diet? Think again.

Hunt’s
ketchup
10 cal, 0 g fat
Grey Poupon
mustard
10 cal, 0.05 g fat
C&H sugar
10 cal, 0 g fat
Soy sauce
10 cal, 0 g fat
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Half-and-half
15 cal, 1.5 g fat
Sugar in
the raw
A Dogged
20 cal, 0 g fat
Pat of
Workout Partner
T
butter
35 cal, 4 g fat he best fitness tool may be your beagle’s
Kraft mayo leash, say Northwestern University docs.
90 cal, Dogs are great partners because they
10 g fat “never say no, never talk you into not exercising
and never sabotage you,” says researcher Robert
Hidden
Valley Ranch F. Kushner, MD. While people provide helpful
(1.5-oz packet) input (cheerleading), we also bring negative
190 cal, influences (we’re inconsistent). A pooch shows
20 g fat persistence by fussing until you walk, and he sees
Ken’s it as fun, not a chore. Plus, you feel parental pride
Caesar when you walk your dog. Roxanne Hawn
(1.5-oz packet) See how other people get the most out of
210 cal, 23 g fat walking the dog, share your tips, and post photos
N an c y C o ven ey ❯
and stories of your fit pet. rd.com
JANUARY ’08 I rd.com 177
Guide
9 to 5 Slim-Down
R eluctant to foot hefty health care bills,
companies are encouraging workers to
lose weight. In Indiana, Clarian Health
employees with a healthy BMI will get a $10
reward with every paycheck starting next year.
Other businesses are mimicking NBC’s The
Biggest Loser with weight-loss challenges. At
Victaulic, a pipe manufacturer in Pennsylvania,
Joanne Fabian, the female winner, finished
17 pounds lighter—and $150 richer. Fitness Icon
“These challenges work in the short term
because of the monetary reward and group Dr. Kenneth Cooper’s
name is synonymous
support,” says wellness consultant Doug Ballard,
with exercise. In Brazil,
manager of the Reader’s Digest
another term for jog-
company gym, which held its ging is “doing your
own challenge last year. “If Cooper.” That’s fitting,
you keep the support group since the 76-year-old
going, you’ll succeed long first coined the term
term.” Bridget Nelson Monroe aerobics, back in 1968.
Forty years later, he’s
still going strong, hitting
the gym daily, working
60-hour weeks and trav-
eling extensively. The
founder of the Cooper
Clinic in Dallas credits
his good health to exer-
cise. “The number one
reason I exercise is that
it makes me feel good,
enhances my well-being
and helps me control
stress. If I didn’t exer-
cise, I couldn’t sleep at
night.” Patricia Curtis

178 READER’S DIGEST I JANUARY ’08

Guide
No
Gym? I t doesn’t matter where you
work out, as long as you
do it. Here, celebrity trainer
Kathy Kaehler offers tips for turning
your home into a gym. Try for three
No sets of ten unless otherwise noted.

DEBORAH JAFFE / NONSTOCK /JUPITER IMAGES

Water weights Fill empty laun-
Problem dry detergent jugs with water to a
weight you can handle, and cap. Do
biceps curls, shoulder raises and
other arm-slimming moves.
Pull up a chair Sit on the edge of
a sturdy kitchen chair with your
hands on the edge of the seat.
To strengthen triceps, move forward
and lower yourself with your arms,
bending at the elbows. Then stand in
front of the chair and do squats (be
sure not to sit completely) for ham-
strings and quads.
Ottoman action To firm your
buns, lie on the floor and place
calves on an ottoman. Lift hips off
the floor while squeezing glutes.
Become a stair master Walk or
run up and down stairs eight to ten
times to increase your heart rate.
Make a deal Take 15 playing cards
and place them in front of you in a
pile. To strengthen legs, lunge to-
ward each card, right foot in front,
to pick up cards. Repeat with left
leg. Then tone your abs: Lie down
with knees bent, cards in hands. Sit
up, contracting abs until you can
reach forward and place one card on
the floor. Repeat with all cards.
Have a ball Sit up, feet on the
floor, knees bent at a 45-degree
angle, and lean back slightly. Hold a
soccer ball in front of you and move
it from side to side, rotating your
torso, to target your obliques. Next,
lie down, knees bent. Place the ball
between your knees and squeeze, to
work your inner thighs.
Kathryn M. Tyranski
Gardening burns 300+ calories
an hour. Use our customized tool
to find other around-the-house
❯
calorie scorchers. rd.com
Guide
Win Big & Lose
Pint- Gold’s Gym is offering 10 lucky winners a
free 1-year membership, worth $500 each.

Size No purchase necessary. Sweepstakes begins 12/6/07 and closes

2/15/08. Open to U.S. residents 21 and over. Sponsored by Gold’s
Gym and Reader’s Digest Association, Inc. Void where prohib-

Fitness ited. For entry and other details, visit rd.com/goldsgym.

G rade-
schoolers
meeting
with personal
trainers,
>>SLIM PICKS
“Bad” foods aren’t always so bad. Check out
these stats from The Diet Detective’s Calorie
Bargain Bible by Charles Stuart Platkin. N.C.

kindergartners
sweating it out on tread-
mills. Whatever happened to a game
of tag? As ludicrous as these trends
seem, the reasons behind them
make sense, says Sandra Hassink,
MD, of the American Academy of

PHOTOGRAPHED BY (BAGEL AND EGG-CHEESE ENGLISH MUFFIN) JEREMY LIPS;

(55 calories) vs. (40 calories)
Pediatrics. “Many parents don’t feel
comfortable letting their children
play outside,” Dr. Hassink says. “So

( C H E E S E , C O O K I E , P O TAT O C H I P A N D F R Y ) C H R I S T I N E B R O N I C O
it becomes, ‘Well, what can we do?’ ”
If you want to hire a trainer (over
a million kids and teens have one),
make sure she’s certified and has
(10 calories) vs. (5 calories)
worked with kids. Sign up for group
sessions: Your child will get to play
with others, and it’ll cost less.
Our junior testers loved the Kid’s
First Exercise Bike (above) and Air
Walker from First Fitness ($80 each;
aqualeisure.com; ages four to seven).
But just as it does for many adults, (470 calories) vs. (280 calories)
the novelty may soon wear off: One Which is lower in calories, pizza
of our testers began using her tread- or a burger? Test yourself on
mill as a crib for her dolls. B.N.M. that and more. rd.com ❯
182 READER’S DIGEST I JANUARY ’08
Guide

Saucony
KIND
ProGrid
EatSmart Fruit + Nut bars
Paramount
Reduced Fat All natural,
“Comfortemp”
Potato Chips Salter Nutri gluten-free; $2;
technology keeps
$3.49 for an Weigh and Go kindsnacks.com.
feet cool; $165;
saucony.com. 8-oz bag; at Dietary
supermarkets. Computer Scale
Keep track of
calories; $60;
Linens ’N Things.

184 READER’S DIGEST I JANUARY ’08

 ❯Get Inspired
Wonder how
you’ll look 20
pounds lighter?
Upload a
“before” pic at
weightview.com
to see your
“after” shot.

P.A.S.T. Core
Training
System Tone
your midsection
and more with
one tool; $120;
balance2
posture.com.

Tools to Get
PHOTOGRAPHED BY DAVID PRINCE

You Started
The
Strollometer
Pedometer for
your baby stroller;
$40; target.com.
N eed a little help jump-
starting your diet or
exercise plan? Here,
some gadgets and no-guilt snacks
to help you succeed.
JANUARY ’08 I rd.com 185
Guide
No
Gym?
No
Problem
I t doesn’t matter where you work
out, as long as you do it. Here,
celebrity trainer Kathy Kaehler
offers tips for turning your home
into a gym. Try for three sets of ten
unless otherwise noted.
Water weights Fill empty laundry
detergent jugs with water to a
weight you can handle, and cap. Do
biceps curls, shoulder raises and
other arm-slimming moves.
Pull up a chair Sit on the edge of
a sturdy kitchen chair with your
hands on the edge of the seat. To
strengthen triceps, move forward
and lower yourself with your arms,
180
bending at the elbows. Then
stand in front of the chair and
do squats (be sure not to sit
completely) for hamstrings
and quads.
Ottoman action To firm your
buns, lie on the floor and place
calves on an ottoman. Lift hips off
the floor while squeezing glutes.
Become a stair master Walk
DEBORAH JAFFE / NONSTOCK /JUPITER IMAGES
or run up and down stairs eight
to ten times to increase your
heart rate.
Make a deal Take 15 play-
ing cards and place them in
front of you in a pile. To
strengthen legs, lunge toward
each card, right foot in front, to pick
up cards. Repeat with left leg. Then
tone your abs: Lie down with knees
bent, cards in hands. Sit up, con-
tracting abs until you can reach
forward and place one card on the
floor. Repeat with all cards.
Have a ball Sit up, feet on the
floor, knees bent at a 45-degree
angle, and lean back slightly. Hold
a soccer ball in front of you and
move it from side to side, rotating
your torso, to target your obliques.
Next, lie down, knees bent. Place
the ball between your knees and
squeeze, to work your inner thighs.
Kathryn M. Tyranski
Gardening burns 300+ calories
an hour. Use our customized tool
to find other around-the-house
❯
calorie scorchers. rd.com
READER’S DIGEST I JANUARY ’08