M

oving

I
n

N
ew

D irections

ORODE UDUAGHAN
MIND is an E-Book created to help you think,
start conversations, ask questions and wonder
about the what if's?

Moving In New Directions

Salvation is an action word not a doing word

copyright 2020
Abigail

She’s been independent her whole life, always wanting to do things on

her own, in her own way and style. But she’s here now, single mother
with a son trying to figure out what life truly means in the midst of the
craziness and chaos. This is very challenging, she thought. She will
later realise that what’s in front of her is not in fact a challenge but a
blessing simply because she changed her perception and decided to
see things differently.
It was in July 2019, she moved out from the amazing apartment she lived
in with her child and back into her parents house. This was meant to be a
transition stay, just until she gets herself back up again. Being a single
mother in Nigeria is tough, let alone having to take 100% responsibility for
your child. Abigail was caught in-between following God’s directive for her
life and trying yet again to do what she assumed was best for her as a
person. You see Abigail is very goal oriented, she’s lived as a career
woman for a long time, CEO is the title that comes to mind. But here she
was in the presence of God, been asked to leave it all behind and trust
him to take her to heights she had never seen. I mean what greater
heights are there than the number of degrees and countless awards she
had received for her service through the years.

A one month transition became two, four, then six and all this time she
was extremely adamant to do anything in her parents house because
deep down she honestly did not want to be there. In fact she refused to
unpack her boxes saying to herself, this was only temporary. God
eventually took her through a realignment of mind and asked her to settle
in. This was after all a very big house that pretty much had no one living
in it.

What Abigail did not realise was that her need for affirmation and praise
for being an independent queen was fueling her pride and disrupting her
from seeing the blessing she had in a family who loved her and was
ready to help her transition properly. She did not think this was God, there
was no way God would allow her leave her apartment to come and stay
in her parents house. Life is meant to progress forward, going back to her
parents house felt like a demotion. Abigail's perception of success was
defined by ticking the invisible boxes the society has set for what a
woman should be at every stage.
Unlearning: When God comes into the picture He gives us an opportunity
to unlearn the things that once shaped our existence and beliefs, we step
into a greater understanding of our lives and the world around us.
There is a saying; "it is the truth that sets you free", this means that what
you believe has a huge impact on how you behave or respond to life
around you.
Your beliefs shape your attitude. Your perception of circumstances or
even yourself will determine how you react to the situations or people
around you.

The children of Isreal in the old testament in my opinion where plagued

with a slave mentality that kept them in bondage for a really long time.
This weird perception about themselves truly hindered them from seeing
what God was trying to do with them as a nation and as a people. Several
times they would ask to be taken back to Egypt, complaining about not
enjoying the journey and why they preferred being slaves in Egypt. The
lack of seeing the big picture or exactly what God was doing prevented
them from fully trusting His leading and created a certain rebellious nature
in them. The Isrealites did not see themselves as more than slaves, they
found a hard time unlearning what they knew as slaves and adapting to
the fact that God just sent ten horrible plagues to Egypt to set them free
so they can enjoy a land of their own and worship him.
God wanted them to be His own people, He wanted to have a
relationship with them again, to commune with them as He once did with
Adam in the garden of Eden. A nation set apart for His own glory. But I
believe the Israelites could not see this and preferred to hide
themselves from the opportunity that was being presented. The
Israelites believed that the God who did all those amazing signs could
have nothing to do with them, after all they where slaves. They did not
quite grasp the idea that He freed them because He loved them, I mean
why else would He go through all that trouble?

"18 When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the
trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They
stayed at a distance 19 and said to Moses, “Speak to us yourself and
we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die.” (Exodus
20: 18-19).

Abigail had a conversation with a friend one day and it struck that this
might actually be a blessing than a circumstance. She had always
wanted to go out and explore new opportunities, she was unable to do
that all this time because she had to take care of her child, now she is in
a family house with people who can help her take care of this child while
she got some room to explore new opportunities and new horizons.
Abigail had a roof over her head, food on the table, a family who
absolutely adored her and understanding that these seemingly little
things around her were indeed placed there by God.

Abigail had to unlearn her belief in what an independent woman should

be, and embrace the current state she was in. Changing her lenses to
see the situation differently helped her adapt to it and enjoy the process
of what was presently in front of her. She, after all, had never really lived
with her family since she was 15, this was an opportunity to truly grow
that relationship and enjoy being taken care of.
She grew to understand that this was God’s way of taking care of her in this
season.

We get anxious and miss out on what God is doing in many ways because
of our own fundamental ideas of what things should be like at different
stages of our lives. We need to learn to open our hearts and minds and see
things from many different perspectives.

We go through life with so many belief systems that shape our behaviour.
We are born into this world with a clean slate, but depending on what
events surround our life, we build a belief system that shapes our actions
and responses to life.
We are made to believe that these ideologies we create of the world
around us cannot change. We conform to the standard of how society has
shaped our thoughts and believes. But it can and God draws our attention
to this all the time.
Samantha

April 19th 2015 would

be the day she had to
leave; this was
relationship number 5 and for a long
time after that, Sam felt she had a problem. She is physically attractive
and a pleasant person if you ask me. She heard of this thing they called
spiritual husband and concluded that it must be the reason she was having
so much trouble keeping a man. She visited countless deliverance centers
that helped shape what she believed about her herself. In a nutshell she
believed she was cursed. One day she met a group of believers who
introduced her to what they called the New creation realities; “isn’t It just a
big term for being born-again”? She asked. YES! It is a term for being born
again but there is so much more to it. Being born again is one aspect,
living as a born again in the realities of all that comes with it is another. A
lot of what she knew was simply how to be born again, she was yet to
discover how to live like one.

*meaning of spirit spouse can be found in the appendix*

As she sort answers she realised she was responsible for the negativity
she was experiencing, her perception and fundamental beliefs where
indeed flawed.
Sam embraced simple thoughts, that eventually shaped her belief about
her situation. She embraced the idea that she had a problem and it
manifested in how she approached the events that occured around her.

She knew about salvation but truly did not believe in salvation and this was
unconscious of course. Believing in salvation means that you understand
what it has done for you and you live out that reality. This was not the
case for her until she dug deeper to understand this truly immeasurable
freedom and treasure she had in Christ.

Reshape: I find it interesting that a lot of the principles from Psychoanalysis

can be linked to many biblical principles, For example: “Your beliefs shape
your behaviour, which one way or the other shapes the outcome of things
in your life” this is the core of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). The
goal is to help people understand that their perceptions about life, has a
huge effect on the outcome of their behaviour in events or circumstances.
“You are what you think” is a phrase we hear all the time. Fact is YES! You
are. The human process does not always start from external factors, in
most cases it begins from your perception of the world around you.

I can decide to be negative if I perceive that everything in the world is

against me. I can choose to be happy and cheerful, if I have trained myself
to see things and think about things positively. How I see the world and in
whatever perspective I see the world largely determines how I would
respond to it.
This is why we must make the effort to see the world in a more positive
light, even in the face of difficulty, specifically through the eyes of God.
There are principles and studies that show that we have the ability to
control how we think, and how we perceive the world around us. When we
adapt a positive mindset we are able to develop better responses to our
world.

Samantha had a problem, she believed she was cursed and could not
keep a relationship (maybe she was, maybe she wasn’t) that’s not really
the point. What she needed was a solution for the problem. She found a
new understanding in Christ that told her she had indeed been set free
because the son of God had set her free.

"Now a slave has no permanent

place in the family, but a son
belongs to it forever. So if the
Son sets you free, you will be free
indeed.” John 8:35-36.
Her conversations with her new found friends of believers challenged her
thoughts and made her re-evaluate what she believed. Samantha took
action, she wanted to know more. Sam wrote scriptures and relatable
verses on sticky notes, posting them all over her wall. She became
engraved in affirming the word of God over her life. She not only
memorised scripture but sort to understand all that God was saying
concerning her. She would plug in so deeply to Gods word via any
means possible, podcast, youtube etc. this became her daily food. Sam
ate the word of God, she meditated on it day and night. She knew there
was more to it than just mere words, she knew it held the key to her
freedom.

In moments she did not understand what she read, she received it in
faith and believed that it was going to transform her. She experienced
intimacy with God as the Holy Spirit taught her the word. Sam in a
conversation once said “The Holy Spirit will always ask me if I know what
the verses mean, He explains them to me in the context of my life. When
I struggled, He opened my eyes to see verses that showed me I was His
and I was free”. Sam began to understand true intimacy, and how to
communicate with God. She began to see herself in the words she read
and in no time this became her reality. She took the words from the bible
imaginatively, recognising that God, through His word, is present in her
life today as He was in the lives of those in the bible.

Samantha changed her perception about her being a captive to an evil

sprit and believed she was free from evil and bondage. With prayers,
deepening in the word and a growing relationship with Christ, the effect
of her change in perception was outstanding. She sees herself as so
much more than whatever circumstance or event she might have
experienced. She opened herself a little bit more to give love another go,
she no longer walks around with her head down feeling like she is cursed
or doomed to never have a stable relationship.
Samantha’s acceptance of what God has to say about her freedom
indeed set her free. She learnt to approach life as one who has been
given the gift of freedom and this time she believed that she had. She
wasn’t a slave to sin anymore, she was free which meant that even if she
had been under any curse it no longer existed because Christ had
stepped into the picture and she was free.

Imagine for a second that you where given pardon for something you did
or maybe did not do, and you had been given an eternal ticket of freedom
from those who bullied you. The mayor of the town has said to you, “You
cannot be bullied, framed or abducted ever again” because you now have
a “Get our of jail card” how would you behave? When the enemy comes
back with those lies again how do you think Samantha would react?

You where bought with a price, it cost God His Son to set you free, it cost
Jesus His blood to gain your freedom. You have been ransomed. There
is a new advocate in town, who stands in for you, making it impossible for
you to remain in bondage as long as you are in Him.

This is what I think, Samantha, maybe, had her first break up which might
have really hurt, and yes, maybe he was a douchebag. Who Knows? She
probably carried this negativity or brokenness into her next relationship. A
mindset that must have made her anxious of being left again or even
fearful. This would have created deep seated emotions that shaped her
behaviour directly or indirectly and caused every other guy after that to
leave. Another possibility is that she was never the problem, perhaps the
men she ended up with where never good men or broken men for whom
she shortchanged herself.

Who knows?
Efe

Brokenness was inevitable with this man, in fact, he had attempted to

commit suicide 3 times. Once he drank a poisonous substance in an attempt
to end his life, thankfully, he was taken to the hospital. He came out okay.
This really upset him as his mantra had become "I want to die”. Efe didn't
see a reason to be alive. This might sound extreme but let's look at Efe's
life...

Efe was really messed up. As a child he was abused by the people
around the house he trusted the most.
This made him become very addicted to sex. Efe was a really smart kid,
straight A’s student but his addiction to sex and pornography took over in no
time. Years passed and Efe was ready for marriage, was this the right move
for this broken man?
Maybe not, but he did it anyway. Marriage didn’t help curb the addiction
to sex and his wife didn’t satisfy him either, so he resorted to getting what
he needed from girls outside his home. This wasn’t what he was proud of
but he did it regardless.

Over time Efe realised sex wasn’t satisfying anymore, it created a deeper
void that truly needed to be filled. He tried drugs, one drag here, one drag
there he became addicted. The drugs gave him a certain high that he
hoped would help him feel better during sex. When it was over, he was
back to square one, feeling even worse off. The shame often made him
withdraw himself, not wanting to face the reality of his irresponsible
behaviour. He hated himself, he could see the hurt he was causing his
family, especially the woman who loved him. He couldn’t control it, or so
he thought.

This was definitely something more and he needed help. Every time he
fell short, he saw himself as useless and less of a man. Efe struggled with
the battle of moral character and succumbing to temptation.
It was Nathan who helped Efe, a college friend who happened to be a
therapist and had strong faith in God.

Nathan introduced him to the concept of mindfulness and the practice of

taking responsibility for how he chose to act based on his perception of
himself and the circumstances around him. He introduced Efe to Christ.
He used combined approaches he practised and solutions that could be
found in the bible. For example, Nathan taught Efe about self-control,
gaining the ability to regulate his thoughts, emotions and behaviour in the
face of temptation. He was taught how to make a conscious effort to
restrict himself from behaving in a particular manner.
Efe began to build a relationship with Christ, but he still struggled with
some habits and he truly needed to get healed. “I am only human, I
cannot really control these things” he believed.
Redefine: Every action we display can be controlled and in my opinion it
all starts from your mind. I learnt from a great man a while ago that there
is power in seeing yourself through God’s eyes. Believing you are who
God says that you are, was a tried and tested formula to overcoming sin
and its nature. How does this work you might ask?
Let's say you have a habit of smoking, every time you make a promise to
quit, but you pick up a stick a few days into your resolution for the 50th
time. You have asked God to come into your life and you expect that the
habit automatically stops. This can happen but the reality is 90% of the
time this is not the case.

This is what I learnt to do over time, every time you are faced with that
temptation you speak to yourself the reality of who you are, you
confidently proclaim your identity. For example “I am the righteousness of
God through Christ Jesus”. This gets established in you over time, it
builds up your spirit to resist temptation. Every time you make these
affirmations, you are conditioning your mind and your spirit to a more
positive reality. These affirmations become your identity and it is
established. You will wake up one day and realise that the habit you
thought could never leave is gone.
The bible says for “you shall know the truth and it will set you
free” John 8:32. Understanding and establishing your identity in
Christ is very important in how you think and behave as a
believer. It shapes your very essence and helps you respond
adequately in circumstances or life events.

Efe held on to the words of Romans 3:21-25 "But now the

righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law,
although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it- the
righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for ALL who
believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall
short of the glory of God, and are justified by His grace as a
GIFT, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom
God put forward as a propitation by his blood, to recieved by
faith"
Efe's belief about himself was strengthened by this word, realising that he
was justified by grace. His perception changed and this helped shape his
behaviour.

Everyday he would make affirmations about who he wanted to become as a

person. He knew he had the ability to be exceptional at everything. He
created an image of the man he knew God wanted him to be, a loving
husband, a dedicated father, an exceptional boss. “I wake up every morning
and write in my journal what I wanted to be that day, I would stand in front
of the mirror and speak life to myself. This held me accountable through the
day, I made sure I remembered what my projected self was for that day and
it raised the standard for how I carried out my activities” Efe.
As he projected this image of himself, he believed that truly he could
become all of these things.

How does God see me?

When you think about it what comes to mind? Scriptures say you are loved,
saved, and beautiful in His eyes. This has to be imprinted into your very
core, it must be the foundation of your identity, because it shapes what you
believe about yourself. These believes determine your actions and
reactions in life events. This firm identity in Christ, is what gets you out of
temptation and consequences of bad perception. Seeing yourself the way
God sees you also plays a huge role is preventing you from falling into
temptation in the first place. If you believe you are a queen you will act like
one. If I believe that in God’s eyes I am righteous and blameless, I will begin
to act like a child of ABBA who is righteous and blameless.
In the face of temptation Efe would speak a word to God and himself, he
would remind himself that he was redeemed and redemption meant
discipline.

Romans 5:9 says this, “Much more then, because we have now been
declared righteous by His blood, we will be saved through Him from God’s
wrath.”
A lot of our assumptions and unconscious belief systems are activated
by one life event or the other, it might be negative or positive. Efe was
taught overtime to change the lens through which he saw himself. He
was a victim of abuse, he was not a broken person. Efe had to come
into an understanding that what happened to him was a circumstance
and not an identity. His true identity was in Christ and in God’s eyes he
was righteous and blameless because of the finished work of Jesus
Christ.

How do you see yourself? As Christians, it is important we learn to see

ourselves and others through God’s eyes. This is the most powerful
tool we have. The word believers comes from the idea that we believe
in someone or something,( for us it is that Jesus came to the world,
He died and resurrected to save us etc.) this means that God loves us
dearly, so dear that He sent Jesus to die for us that we might get a
chance at eternal life and have full access to Him.

John 3:16 says “For God loved the world in

this way: He gave His One and
Only Son, so that everyone who believes
in Him will not perish but have eternal life”.
All of these things are imperative in how our thought patterns are formed
and the result is evident in how we behave or respond to our world.
For example if you believe that you cannot be saved, or that your sins
cannot be forgiven, then your response to life will be totally different from a
person who does believe that they are forgiven and they can be saved
from sin.
If you believe when the enemy tells you, you are not loved by God, or God
cannot be bothered with you, then your response and attitude to God will
be very different from one who believes that they are loved by the God
who created the universe.

Further more, you must learn to understand and accept who you’ve
become, a new creature in Christ, this doesn’t always mean the negative
behaviour stops automatically, but the idea is that you begin to train your
mind into accepting it’s new reality.

The bible says the word of God “is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting
through everything, whether doubt or defence, laying us open to listen and
obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God’s Word. We can’t get away
from it—no matter what" (Hebrews 4:12-13). God always means what He
says. Every word that comes from Him is true, and you can find these
truths in the Bible. It is important we learn to study the bible, it is filled with
God’s truth for us and our world.

If we get better at managing what goes into our thoughts we would learn to
manage our emotions and managing our emotions will help us manage our
behaviour and responses.
We cannot always control the circumstances around us, we cannot always
control the thoughts we get, but we can choose how we respond to those
circumstances and to those thoughts.
Jesus Christ in John 14:16-17a says “And I will ask the Father, and he
will give you another Counselor to be with you forever. He is the Spirit of
Truth”
The Holy Spirit and His fruit which includes self control is one of the
most powerful tools we have in overcoming and thriving in our thoughts
and behaviour. The Holy Spirit helps us process our thoughts and gives
us a choice to either act negatively or positively on them. He’d prefer we
act positively though.

To wrap this up, I’d like to say that we need to learn to take
responsibility for our thoughts and beliefs. The world around us is
directly or indirectly shaped by what goes on in our mind. We can
choose to remain victims of circumstances and a fallen world or live
through life as the victors we truly are. Believing all God has done for us
through His Son Jesus Christ, understanding that we are not defined by
the events that occur in our lives but we are defined by the image and
DNA of the one who created us.

Jesus put it so nicely “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in
God; believe also in me” (John 14:1).

Question is what do you BELIEVE?

APPENDIX

Spiritual Spouse: It is believed that an individual could be married in

spiritual realm.

This form of marriage is considered evil because it is a bond between

the spiritual being and the human in question, knowingly or
unknowingly thereby leading to bondage that plays out in the physical.
It could lead to instability in relationships, difficulty maintaining a
relationship, sexual dreams, childless marriages etc.
Thank you for reading.

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 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Orode Uduaghan is a multiple award-winning entrepreneur and

philanthropist. She is a business and lifestyle/behavioral coach who has
trained and spoken on various platforms like the prestigious WIMBIZ
annual conference, TFAA Master Class, Lagos Small Business Summit, and
more. As the Founder and Executive Director of The Pink Pearl
Foundation, she passionately empowers women in the fight against breast
cancer while also supporting general health and wellness. She is
currently the Founder of TERC (Technology, Enterprise, Resource,
Community) a technology enthusiast company designed to provide an
all-round consulting and training services for SME’s and businesses. She
is also the team lead at Tabitha Global, a faith-based organisation
that engages in partnerships to help bring aid and welfare needs to
rural communities across Africa.
Licensee and organiser of TEDx Ogunu conference. She holds a
bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the University of Windsor, Ontario
Canada, a certification in Project Management from the Lagos Business
School, a Public (Health) Policy certification from the University of
California, Los Angeles, Project Finance and Public-Private Partnership
certificate from the Euromoney Training EMEA United Kingdom. She is also
a certified Cognitive Behavioural Therapist, who combines her learning
approach with her faith. She sits on the board of several organisations
and businesses as an adviser.
Orode is a Christian who is passionately in love with God and
actively involved in the faith-based community and personal development
projects across Africa. She is the author of ABBA "Confessions of Daddy's Little Girl".