Believe and Dance

Sem. Joseph Raymund Mira

“WAIT!”
Karen screamed as we both ran towards the skinny couple. My lungs were screaming for me to stop while my
heart was pounding hard against my ribs, cursing with all the profanity it could yell. Outside, were all my fat
limbs bouncing like jellies.
“We want to audition!” I panted as we caught with the couple.
For a moment, the couple looked at each other but then they looked at us and smiled.
“Okay then. Just fill your names in the blank,” the girl said, handing us a sheet of paper.
“And go to the AV hall, 4 o’clock,” the boy added.
So, excitedly, we scribbled our names. It’s been two months since we started rehearsing our routine. We’ll
definitely nail this audition.
“See you later then!” the girl said after I gave her back the paper.
“YES!” Karen and I both triumphantly shouted after the two left.
“I can’t believe it! We’re finally auditioning!” Karen squealed as she squeezed my arm while fanning herself
with her other. To be honest, my arm kinda hurts given by the fact that her hand was thrice as big as the skinny
girl has but then again, my arm was as big as the legs of the boy. I was just over reacting.
Ten minutes later, the two of us were lining in the cafeteria ordering our lunch. Philip, the nerd, my other friend,
joined us.
“So? How did it go?” he asked after pointing to the tindera his order.
“Calm your glasses nerdy boy. We just applied; nothing to be excited about,” Karen replied, ordering three
pieces of pork chop and a large serving of humba.
“Aren’t you supposed to be on a diet?” I asked while putting my bowl of chicken soup on the tray.
“It’s my cheat day!” she defended.
“Everyday is your cheat day,” Philip remarked earning himself a smack on the head.
The three of us went to our usual spot, the table at the farthest corner.
“Hey! Do you smell that?” I heard a familiar voice behind me. “Oh wait, I know this smell,” said the voice
again. “It’s the smell of obesity!”
I just rolled my eyes. It’s Gabriel, the school’s Basketball most valuable player. And the biggest jerk.
“How do you smell obesity then?” Philip asked, trying to throw some science and logic stuff for a rebuttal. Yet,
I knew, he only made the situation worse.
“Funny you asked. Can’t you smell it already? Hmm. Let me give you a hint. Let’s say you’re in between two
boars. One has stinky damped armpit and one has no neck since she ate it all,” he replied. And then his stupid
group of friends burst into laughter.
“I still don’t get-“
“Shut it!” I hissed at the nerd. For a nerd, he’s too stupid sometimes. Yeah, I know that Gabriel’s remark wasn’t
logical yet as being one of his target of bullying for almost four years, I perfectly knew what he meant. I am
obese. I have damped armpits. And I suck. Bigtime! Like OBESE time. And this thought just ruined everything.
Suddenly auditioning to the dance group was a mistake. What have I done?
“That’s rich!” Karen blurted. “Coming from the man wearing Bench’s So In Love perfume!”
“It smells nice!” Gabriel defended, now red in the face.
“Yeah whatever sis.”
Karen smirked and continued to munch her last piece of pork chop with no amount of care in the world. Karen
is feisty. I know that. That’s why I agreed to audition with her. I adored her confidence and wanted to get a
share of it. But now, I wonder if that confidence would work in me like it works in her.
“Hey! I heard you guys auditioning for the school’s dance group!” Amanda walked in. Normally I would gawk
on her like every guy in the school. Yet, I know that she’s so plastic. Like she’s so plastic that she’s basically a
Tupperware. Her Barbie figure is her only lifeline from failing in all subjects. Like a doll, her head is totally
hollow.
I saw Karen narrowing her eyes at Amanda’s sweet glistening smile.
“WHAT! YOU’RE AUDITIONING?” one of Gabriel’s acne-filled face friend, CJ bellowed.
Again, they burst into boisterous laughter sending my face reddened like a Han’s Tomato Sauce.
So much with the confidence.
Their cackles reminded me of the vicious remarks the kids had thrown at me all throughout my life feeling like
hot stinking dirty adult diapers on my fat glistening oily face. Suddenly I found it hard to breathe. Then I
remembered what my doctor had said:
“It’s normal to experience difficulty in breathing and sudden palpitation. It’s basically the effects of obesity. Try
not to…”
But I knew it wasn’t the obesity. It was the bullying of being obese that caused my abnormal breathing. The
room started swimming and my ears were filled with ringing noises. The voices were drowned and muffled. I
am going to die with a heart attack. I knew it. Typical. For obese people at least. Somehow I was disappointed.
Really God? Do I have to die in a very cliché way?
“Jason? Are you alright?” I heard Philip’s voice somewhere.

“Excuse me,” I faintly blurted and ran past through Gabriel. With the strength that my enormous wobbly legs
could give me, I bolted towards the comfort room. I went straight to the empty stall and everything that I had
eaten earlier spurted into the toilet.
“If you’re a girl and pregnant kindly go to my office immediately. If you’re a boy then, what is it? Is it the
dinugu-an? I told them not to put that in the menu. It’s gross!” Mr. Gomez, our Guidance counselor said from
the next stall.
At first I didn’t answer. I was still feeling weak from vomiting all my food. What a waste.
“It’s me Mr. Gomez. Jason,” I replied weakly.
“Oh it’s you! Just a sec. I’m about done here. The stuff keeps on coming!” he said telling way too much info!
I then went to the sinks and washed my face. I stared at my face and all I could feel was hatred towards the fat
boy in front of me. If it’s not for him, I would be enjoying life like normal kids do. Not like this, hanging out
with a couple of misfits and having panic attacks. It’s so unfair.
“What’s so unfair?”
I didn’t know I said it out loud. Mr. Gomez emerged from the stall and looked at me carefully.
“Nothing. Nothing sir,” I replied. I didn’t want anyone’s help right now. All I need was to curl on my bed and
weep and weep while listening to Imagine Dragons’ Believer.
“Really? Do you know that I can read your mind? I am a psychologist. That’s what we do. Read people’s
minds,” he said giving me a wink.
I just smiled and told him that I have to leave.
“Look. I know your upset about something. I may not know what is it but whatever that is, you’re so much
better than that stupid problem. Don’t let your fears, your weaknesses, your problems define you. Be strong.
Life is like that. Sometimes, it’s unfair. But look closer, you are surrounded by so much blessings. Your friends,
family, and hey even me, are all always rooting for you. Don’t give up. Do what you want to do. You’ll be the
bestest of the best. I promise.”
Mr. Gomez’ speech felt like warm chocolate syrup filling my cold depressed fat body. He gave me a comforting
smile before patting my shoulder and walked out from the comfort room. And I was left there, feeling inspired
and empowered but at the same time, grossed since my guidance counselor’s hand was still wet.
4 o’clock came and Karen and I were in line at backstage at the AV hall. I can sense that Karen has also the
butterflies.
“Hey, good luck to us!” I said squeezing her cold sweaty hand.
In return she smiled and said, “Let’s show this school how fat people own the stage.”
The bell ran indicating it’s finally our turn.
The moment we took the stage, everyone was quiet. Then all of the sudden laughter erupted throughout the
room.
“You would broke the stage!” I heard someone shouted from the crowd. I didn’t know if I was offended by his
remark or I was annoyed by his improper use of the verb’s tense.
This is it. No turning back now. We’ll nail it. Just believe Jason. Believe and dance!
Our song blasted and the two of us started dancing. Our limbs moved with so much symphony with the music
that I felt like we were the god and goddess of dance. We jumped, shake, and grind, grooving into the beat. I
was free. I was finally free! In dancing, I am no longer Jason the obese boy. Right now, I am Jason the mighty
dancer! I did the butterfly dance while Karen twerked sending the crowd to scream in sheer madness. We were
pretty darn amazing!
As the song coming to its end, Karen and I looked at each other’s eyes and nodded. We will about to drop the
bomb. The percussion kept on tensing and tensing and then BAAM! The last beat dropped and so were we. I
back flipped and Karen split onto the floor.
I heard the crowd went wild and applause roared throughout the hall. I could see almost everyone was on their
feet, clapping their hands. And in tears, I remembered what my guidance counselor said.
“Do what you want to do. You’ll be the bestest of the best. I promise…”