GIRL POWER Book PDF

Pastor Jessica Kayanja
Girl Power
Jessica Kayanja
1
Girl Power
Unless otherwise indicated
All Scripture quotations are taken from the
Authorized King James Version, Zondervan
Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan.
2nd Printing 2004
GIRL POWER
ISBN 0-9723600-3-4
Copyright © 2004 by Jessica Kayanja
Highway of Holiness International,
P.O.BOX 800364 Dallas, TX 75380 USA or,
P.O.BOX 1680, Kampala-Uganda
All rights reserved under International Copyright Law. Contents

and/or cover may not be reproduced in whole or in part in any
form without the express written consent of the Author.
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Contents
.................
Foreword
11
.....................11
Chapter 1
Girl power
15
.....................15
Chapter 2
The woman of God and her
marriage and family
25
.....................25
Chapter 3
The spiritual helper
31
.....................31
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Girl Power
Chapter 4
Economic- helper
How will the Lord increase you ?
71
.....................71
Chapter 5
The woman of God as a
social helpmate
89
.....................89
Chapter 6
The woman of God, her style
and presentation
(a physical helpmate)
.....................103
Chapter 7
The woman of God at her place
of work or area of ministry
.....................117
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Dedication
This book is for all the women of God who glory in
the wonderful gift of womanhood. To those who
thank God every day that they are in fact descendants
of Eve and most of all to those who wish to serve
God and can find no other way to do it except as a
woman.
To all of you I say, ‘Right on, Sister!’ You can be a

woman of God without being a ‘man of God.’ God
has created you and given you all the attributes you
need to serve Him. You have ‘Girl power.’
You are a serene beauty, a princess and yet like a
man, made in the image of God.
Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own

image, in the image of God created He him;
male and female created He them.
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Acknowledgement
I am in all ways indebted to my dear husband Pastor
Robert Kayanja who is my pastor, my mentor, my
partner and my best friend. Only God can tell the price
of such a wonderful man of God. Thank you so much
for seeing the woman of God in me and believing in
what you saw.
Special thanks also to my wonderful family: to my

children Robert Junior, Kirstein and Kristiana, and to
the Miracle Center family for being so good to us.
Special thanks also to the people who have helped in

publishing of this book. Sam Nicholas, you are an
inspiration to us.
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Girl Power
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CHAPTER ONE
GIRL POWER INTRODUCTION
Foreword
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains
favor from God.
The truth of the matter is that we all as men seek to

find a wife among so many women, the very one who
will turn our dreams into achievable reality.
When I found Jessica, I found that which was missing

in me and as a result I received more favor. You see
favor will bring you what you have not worked for.
She gave me dignity, credibility and happiness. I found
the anointing of God in her fueling my living.
Her wisdom and strength to literally sacrifice me to

do the will of God and to obey the call of God upon
my life has enabled our family to see the goodness of
the Lord in the land of the living as we have lifted up
the name of Jesus.
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Girl Power
Just after we got married in 1992, we spent our honey
moon ministering in the halls of churches and crusade
arenas in Uganda, Europe, Asia and America. When
we returned home we had only $100 left and the Lord
challenged me to start the construction of our home
church which is valued between 7-10 million US
dollars.
When the $100 was finished, she allowed us to part

with the only asset to our name, a wedding gift given
to us by the Osborns; a Toyota car. She graciously
accepted and started moving by public transport.
Such a woman, who can find?
Being there for our children when I could not, and

fasting for over four years for 12 hours a day ushered
her into her own anointing graced by miracles, signs
and wonders.
Therefore what she is sharing is for real. It is powerful

and life changing.
I have seen her as a wife, mother and teammate, and

now she comes to you as an anointed messenger.
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CHAPTER ONE
GIRL POWER INTRODUCTION
God bless you as you read.
Pastor Robert Kayanja
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Girl Power
○
Chapter One
○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○
I had always wanted to serve the Lord and I believed

I had an evangelistic call upon my life. My heart went
out not only to the unbelievers, but also to the less
fortunate, diseased and emotionally perturbed.
I wanted to preach as much as

I wanted to do all these things.
However like many young women, I loved being a
woman and everything that went along with it. I held
being married in very high esteem. I loved to look
beautiful beside the man that God had given me, and I
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Girl Power
loved to keep house, take care of my beautiful children
and to cook. The only source of emotional turmoil for
me then was that I wanted to preach as much as I
wanted to do all these things. As much as I wanted to
go out and evangelize, womanhood for me was a good
I loved being a woman and

everything that went along
with it.
and perfect gift which could only have come from the
Father of light with whom there are no variables.
For many years I thought I could not do both, I

imagined the two could not go together. One could
not be a beautiful woman, feminine, designed in the
manner that God had intended and be a powerful
preacher as well. At that time the few female
preachers I associated with had long surrendered the
gift of womanhood. They talked like men, walked like
them and acted like them as aggressively as they
could and a few of them even attacked men.
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CHAPTER ONE
GIRL POWER
I do not blame them one bit. As a result of the gender

struggle that had sadly infiltrated the church at the time,
one was either an accepted renown preacher or a less
celebrated woman. So in an attempt to be understood
and accepted, nobody was going to choose the latter.
I noticed the lack of submission by these so-called

women ministers to any form of authority especially if
the leader was a man. This was followed by both
rebellious and manipulative spirits, leading to church
splits, marriage breakups and sometimes a more serious
extreme manifestation of cultic activity. It was around
this time that the Lord drew me to 1Peter 3:3 which
changed my life and will surely change yours.
1 Peter3:3-4
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward
adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of
gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in
that which is not corruptible, even the ornament
of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of
God of great price.
It was then that I realized that beauty and adornment
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Girl Power
...real effective tools of beauty

and adornment lay on the
inside of a meek and quiet
spirit.
are not simple characteristics used to merely define
women; they are true and effective tools that can
actually be used for the glory of God. I also realized
that the real effective tools of beauty and adornment
lay not on the outside but on the inside of a meek and
quiet spirit.
Being a woman of God is not only about what you

look like on the outside “Whose adorning let it not
be that outward adorning.” Shaving one’s hair,
wearing long robes, and refusing to indulge or pamper
one’s self with an occasional manicure, pedicure, or
makeover will not make you more biblically fitted for
the work of God, but is simply a choice of style.
What really matters is whatever you have on the inside

of you.
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CHAPTER ONE
GIRL POWER
Psalm 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken

spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God,
thou wilt not despise.
Every time you come into ministry you present yourself

as a vessel ready to be used of God. Many women
have not only presented themselves as vessels to be
used for ministry work, but have thought it necessary
to make sacrifices along with it. Unfortunately, they
have made the wrong sacrifices. Many have sacrificed
their style and sense of taste for beauty and fashion.
Many have sacrificed the precious time spent with their
spouses eventually leading to splits and divorce. A few
have sacrificed their parental obligations leading to
wayward children.
Many have sacrificed the

precious time spent with their
spouses...their parental
obligations....
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Girl Power
Woman of God, the only sacrifice you will ever need
is a broken spirit and a broken and contrite heart. These
as written by the psalmist are the only sacrifices the
Lord will not despise [see Psalm 51:17].
1Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection

to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the
word, they also may without the word be won by
the conversation of the wives;
Woman of God, do you realize that even before

attempting to outdo your average male preacher by
being aggressive, loud, critical and doing all kinds of
pulpit acrobatics you already have a strong soul-
winning device within you? It is one which the apostle
says can win a non-believer through mere conversation
and conduct even without the word;
You already have a strong

soul winning device within
you ... mere conversation
and conduct ...
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CHAPTER ONE
GIRL POWER
...that internal magnet, that

power that can take light
where darkness has been, that
inbuilt ability to draw
millions to the kingdom;
the Girl Power.
that internal magnet, that big soul-winning tool, that
power within a woman that can take light where darkness
has been. It is that inbuilt ability to draw millions to the
kingdom without a microphone and loudspeaker. That,
my dear friends, is what I have referred to as the Girl
Power.
Please do not get me wrong, I am by no means a silent

witness. I am co-pastor to a ten thousand five hundred
seater cathedral. I preach louder than the average loud
man, I am filled with the joy of the Lord and the
excitement of the Spirit of God. This is why I can not
help jumping and running around the pulpit when I
preach. As a matter of fact a perfectly religious man
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Girl Power
might call me an extremist. I believe in microphones,
loudspeakers and open air crusades, but above all this
I believe that one can serve God effectively only if
they stand in the correct territory; that is putting to
use the talents and giftings that the Lord has accorded
them for His service.
1Corinthians 7:7 For I would that all men were

even as I myself. But every man hath his proper
gift of God, one after this manner, and another
after that.
No woman should ever have to borrow a masculine

demeanor in order to serve God. Women have their
own gift from God; one in their manner.
So in the following chapters of this book I will attempt

to show you the challenges of serving God as a woman
and how to overcome them not by trying to be a man
of God, but by standing in your territory and with
your own gifting. I will attempt to show you how to
be proud of what God made you to be and how to
put your girl power to proper use.
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CHAPTER ONE
GIRL POWER
We will look at;
1.The woman of God and her marriage and family.

2.The woman of God, her style and presentation.
3.The woman of God at her place of work and her area
of ministry.
4.The spiritual woman of God.
5.The woman of God as a social helpmate.
6. Economic helper.
7. The spiritual helper.
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Girl Power
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The woman of God

& her marriage & family
○ ○
Chapter Two
○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○
As ironical as it may sound, I would like to begin this

chapter by quoting a statement I once heard from a
vocally powerful female preacher. She said, ‘Before I
came to know the Lord, my husband mistreated and
despised me, I had a very low self-esteem because of
the things he did to me. But after I met Jesus, I
realized my true potential, I discovered how powerful
I was and I gathered enough strength to kick him
out.’ She went ahead to say ‘now I am powerful, rich
and independent, praise God,’ she added.
I was shocked not only by hearing such an ‘off the

word’ statement from someone I had imagined was a
mature Spirit-filled preacher but more so from the
applause she received from the congregation.
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Girl Power
She was definitely a voice of many battered women
who had embraced the then very popular ‘you can do
it all’ faith message and used it in a very unbiblical
manner.
I do not know how you can say ‘before I got to know

Jesus I tolerated my husband’ and then decide to kick
him out after you have knowledge of the truth.
Someone had taught the girl about faith; someone had

told her she could do all things through Christ who
gives her the strength, but she had definitely not been
told what was required of her as a woman of God.
In worse scenario cases ‘women of God’ have walked

away from their marriages because they felt the men
Someone had taught the girl

about faith... she could do all
things .. but not what was
required of her!
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CHAPTER TWO
THE WOMAN OF GOD & HER
MARRIAGE & FAMILY
they were married to had not given them enough time

to preach and seek the presence of God. ‘God comes
first” they have said ‘keeping house and taking care
of children are only secondary to the calling of God
upon my life,’ they have declared.
Others in a passionate attempt to avoid all these hurdles
The first ministry ever given

to women by God was in fact,
Marriage.
have proclaimed themselves celibate, choosing to deny
themselves the God-given union between man and
woman, only to realize along the way that they had
never been cut out for such a lifestyle.
It is important for every woman minister or any girl

with a desire to serve God to realize that the first ministry
ever given to women by God was in fact Marriage.
Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not
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Girl Power
good that the man should be alone; I will make
him a help meet for him.
Isn’t it amazing that the first statement that the Lord

ever made in the bible concerning a woman was that
she was to be a helper comparable to the man? This
was the very first ministry accorded the woman. It is
the one that God had in mind when He designed us in
all our beauty and sensitivity, yet so many times in a
desire to please God and serve Him we destroy what
should be the beginning in order to reach the end.
It is impossible to have an end after you have

destroyed the beginning, just as it is outrageous to
expect a building to stand after its foundation cracks.
This does not mean that every preacher woman should

wait for marriage before they begin to reach out. It
simply means that every married woman should
consider the institution of marriage as a greater calling
and service to God than any other.
It means that before you go out to evangelize and to

do open air crusades, your husband should have been
satisfactorily ‘helped’ in all matters pertaining to the
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CHAPTER TWO
THE WOMAN OF GOD & HER
MARRIAGE & FAMILY
spiritual, physical, social and economic because you
have been designed to be a helper comparable with
him.
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The Spiritual Helper

○
Chapter Three
○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○
(i)The greatest spiritual help that you can give the

man of God that has been placed into your life is
agreement.
Matthew 18:19 Again I say unto you, That if two

of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing
that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of
my Father which is in heaven.
Woman of God, you are the greatest unconditional

agreement partner that your husband will ever have.
Many families are denied fulfillment and blessing
because of lack of agreement between the husband
and wife. A man or a woman will find a prayer partner
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Girl Power
to agree with outside their marriage. This type of
agreement will usually be done with strings attached.
Sometimes, outsiders will pretend to agree with you
in prayer only to be overwhelmed by there own prayer
needs, visions and goals. I have nothing against prayer
groups and prayer partners, but the truth is regarding
each other in this respect is priority. Prayer groups
and prayer partners should only agree after husband
and wife have done so.
Holy matrimony is not a

blessing for two separate people
living together but a union, a
merging of two...
Being an agreement partner is not easy at all. It involves

coming to terms with the fact that holy matrimony is
not a blessing for two separate people living together
but a union, a merging of two separate people to
become one.
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CHAPTER THREE
THE SPIRITUAL HELPER
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his

father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his
wife: and they shall be one flesh.
That is why earlier on I mentioned, that husband and

wife are the greatest agreement partners that ever
existed. If you are one flesh, you have to agree in
order for there to be a healthy functioning of that flesh.
In a human body or flesh, the head which contains the

brains will send a message to the limbs. The limbs
must accept the message to move and then to do the
necessary. When there is disagreement between the
brain and the limbs, a more than visible malfunctioning
of the body will occur causing illness.
A husband and wife are the

greatest agreement partners
that ever existed
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Girl Power
The above is a form of figurative writing to show how
much the power of agreement can either hinder or cause
your marriage to progress.
What is there to agree about?
Agreement as a form of spiritual help involves realizing

also that the husband as the head of the house will
give spiritual direction, vision and prophecy regarding
family, ministry and finances.
Your duty as a wife will be

to agree regarding the
spiritual direction and
vision...
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of
the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church:
and He is the savior of the body.
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CHAPTER THREE
Your duty as a wife will be to agree regarding the spiritual

direction and vision that the Lord will have inspired
your husband to take. My own testimony concerning
the power of agreement will make you see through the
veil that the devil has put upon so many women just to
slow them down.
About 13 years ago the Lord told my husband to build

a 10,500-seater cathedral. When we got married, we
had our church services in a temporary papyrus reed
shelter. The land on which we had them did not even
belong to us and many a time even paying the rent was
a struggle. Not only did the Lord say the cathedral
..The Lord commissioned

my husband, I embraced the
mission as mine...
would sit 10,500, He also emphasized that it would be

a glass cathedral. The greater part of the walls were to
be made of glass. When the Lord commissioned my
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Girl Power
husband, I embraced the commission as mine even
though the Lord had spoken specifically to my
husband.
We had no government financial support, no money

stacked up in the bank, no property to mortgage, and
no ‘technical know-who’ to help us get a loan. It had
to be God who had spoken because only God would
make such a far-fetched statement.
When we began construction, the real test for the

power of agreement started for me. I will not give
...It had to be God who

had spoken...
details of everything that happened because that is
another book altogether. All I can say is that we came
to a point in the building work where everything looked
completely impractical. The building seemed too big
for the low income we were associated with. The
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engineers claimed it was too big to stand without a

middle base support yet my husband was sure the
Lord had showed him a big wide 10,500 seater building
without one.
In no time, we were the main talk of the city. We became

the sermon in other church pulpits. People were
convinced that my husband was that man in the
Scripture who begins to build a house without counting
the cost [see Luke 14:28]. They believed this building
had nothing to do with vision, but everything to do
with ambition.
Many seemingly well-intentioned people would hear

these things and say they were praying for me, but
behind all that ado a lot of scoffing and scorning was
going on.
...We became the sermon in

other church pulpits.
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One day someone said to us, ‘That church will never
be finished in your lifetime, not even your great grand
children’s lifetime.’ He continued to say it was a good
dream, but not at all realistic in this part of the world.
Of course it was not realistic; it was divine.
Never at any one moment did I speak against the vision

that God had given my husband, and never did I ask
him if God had really said it.
Because of this project, we had to make a lot of

personal sacrifices as a family. My husband spent a
lot of time believing God, praying and fasting and
putting each penny as it came into the building
construction.
Never at one moment did I

speak against the vision that
God had given my husband.
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CHAPTER THREE
I was a young mother having to raise my children, be

in ministry, and then cope with all the rubbish that the
devil had put in so many people’s mouths.
If God had really spoken,

how could everything be
going so wrong?
Not only were the outsiders discouraged, there was

trouble in the house as well. It was around this time
that many people left the church, leaving us with an
unfinished building. To put it more precisely, a far from
finished building with a few very faithful and zealous
members of the congregation, who I still praise God
for every single day of my life.
The question any realistic person could have asked

was, ‘If God had really spoken, how could everything
be going so wrong?’
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Girl Power
All this time my husband was trying so hard and
putting so much into the building and yet to the naked
eye the project did not seem like it was moving at all.
In fact almost everybody said we had realized our
mistake and stopped building.
Through all this, I continued to be an agreement

partner with my husband. I did not only agree with
him in prayer, but I also stood before the congregation
I did not only agree with

him in prayer, but I also
stood before the congregation
and professed this vision..
and professed this vision. I thank God for a wonderful
congregation who loved their pastor beyond what they
could see in the physical. Whenever somebody who
was not a member of my congregation presented some
casual off-handed statement about the building or
anything concerning my husband, I would stand up
to them and tell them I believed in my husband and
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CHAPTER THREE
the vision of the man of God and that we were one

flesh. It is not good enough to only agree in the Spirit
and not be able to shout out what you agree with,
because the mouth will always speak what the heart is
full of and faith without action is non-existent.
Today by the grace of God and by His mercies that

endure forever, Miracle Center Cathedral stands as the
largest and most magnificent church in East and Central
Africa. As the Lord said, it is indeed a glass cathedral
with double-decker buses stationed in most areas of
town to ferry people for the services free of charge
(these buses belong to the church).
We have four services on Sunday, one on Saturday

night and another in the middle of the week. The Lord
has enabled us to buy a school, we have an orphanage
in the countryside and we have taken children off the
streets and placed them in a home. I cannot even begin
to explain how gracious God has been to us.
Whatever happened had nothing to do with me, but I

am so blessed to be a part of it. I would have felt
terrible if I had antagonized the man of God and woken
up only to realize the vision was really from the throne
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Girl Power
Woman of God, Stand by

your man!
room of the Almighty.
Woman of God, stand by your man! God has so much

in store for you but the devil will bring a veil and
camouflage it with common sense, feminism, gender
equality and whatever the contemporary girls’ menu
has to offer today. You are probably not a pastor’s
wife like I am but how do you handle your husband’s
choices? Do you speak against all the business
investments he chooses to make, or does the poor
fellow have to hand over his entire salary and leave
you to indulge yourself?
Do you dictate all the terms in the house or do you

pray about finances only to go and compare notes
with your next door neighbor over whose husband is
being more liberal?
Change your attitude. Begin to agree with your husband

that God will bless him where He has put him and that
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whatever God commissions He will give provision for.

If you are blessed with a better education, a better job
or opportunity than your husband, sit down and agree
on how best all this can be used to enhance the vision
that God has given that head(husband). Remember
the head has to function in order for the rest of the
body to function right. There will be times of doubt,
there will be times when you wonder whether
something is really from God or not, and there will be
times when your husband might seem like an off-
handed dreamer before other people. When these times
When this time comes, pray that

God gives you direction and the
power to agree.
come, pray that God gives you direction and the power
to agree.
(ii) How can I be a spiritual help to someone who

makes the wrong decision and how do I know
when he is wrong?
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Your husband is human and is subject to error of
judgment whether intentional or most of the time not.
Any decision made out of context of the word of God
and His will is wrong and the only way you will find
out that he is actually wrong is if you have knowledge
of the word yourself. Through the Word of God one
is able to discern soulish decisions from spiritual ones
and also to discern through the thoughts and intents
of the heart.
Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is quick, and

powerful, and sharper than any two-edged
sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of
soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow,
and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of
the heart.
Any decision made out of

context of the Word of God
and His will is wrong.
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On similar occasions, theSpirit

of God will also anoint you with
appropriate counsel and words of
wisdom for the occasion.
(iii) Spiritual help through prayer
After you have discerned a wrong step or decision

made by your husband, the first step you should take
is to pray. Prayer will prepare you to deal with whatever
implications this wrong decision may have made.
Prayer will also reduce anxiety and dress you with the
grace to deal with the situation. Sometimes the situation
will be revealed as soon as you go down on your knees.
On similar occasions, the Spirit of God will also anoint
you with appropriate counsel and words of wisdom.
However, before I broaden your perspective on the

prayer department, it is important for me to mention
what not to do after wrong decisions have been made.
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Girl Power
Whatever you confess

whether under duress or out
of sheer lack of tact is exactly
what will come your way.
If you have made a decision to pray, then do not get
into a verbal release either as a form of self defense,
or to show the world how wrong this man can be. I
have learnt over a period of time that private information
taken from your marriage and family and thrown to an
outsider soon becomes a weapon that people will blow
out of proportion and use to destroy you.
Proverbs 13:3 He that keepeth his mouth

keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his
lips shall have destruction
Proverbs 11:13 A talebearer revealeth secrets:

but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the
matter.
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Proverbs 18:8 The words of a talebearer are as

wounds, and they go down into the innermost
parts of the belly.
Whatever you confess whether under duress or out of

sheer lack of tact is exactly what will come your way.
Information shared with God through prayer will always
point towards the positive, Jesus said ‘I am the way
the truth and the life’[John 14:6]. Information shared
with people will always point you towards the negative.
Woman of God, your marriage is far more important

than one wrong decision. Stay within the confines of
the presence of God, being anxious for nothing but in
everything, make your request known unto God
[Phillipinas 4:6].
If your husband’s decision implies poverty, confess
Stay within the confines of

the presence of God, being
anxious for nothing..
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wealth, if it implies weakness, confess strength. “Let
the weak say I am strong, let the poor say I am rich.”
Armed with this type of mentality my sisters, “Let us

therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that
we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time
of need” [Hebrews 4:16].
Notice the manner. Boldly not timidly or fearfully and
... exercising silence sounds

like a very big weakness.
definitely not doubtfully do we begin to pray.

Remember not to go around complaining. Looking
for sympathy and confessing negative is a sign that
you are in fact timid, fearful and doubtful. No matter
how happy you are and how perfect your marriage is,
there are a group of people who prefer to believe that
you are unhappy. Going to them to explain yourself is
a mere waste of good time and energy. This is because
they thrive and survive on the idea of other people’s
misfortune whether existent or not, to console
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themselves about their own. The thought that you might

be going through a crisis keeps them alive and
comfortable and gives their mind a diversion from their
own obstacles.
I know that in a contemporary society entailed with

feminism and women emancipation, the idea of
exercising silence sounds like a very big weakness.
Spiritually however, the ability to withdraw or restrain
from unnecessary verbal release is in fact a great
strength. The Lord said to the children of Israel, ‘…
in quietness and in confidence shall be your
strength: and ye would not.’[Isaiah 30:15b]
Quietness is a sign of confidence that cannot be

misunderstood or even mistaken. It is girl power
according to the word of God as shown above. This
is where your strength shall be derived, in quiet-
... there are a group of people

thrive and survive on the idea
of other people’s misfortune
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Girl Power
ness and in confidence.
In Luke 10:38 we meet two sisters with different

personalities. One with an ability to use her energy
verbally and another who realized that no matter how
Quietness is a sign of a
confidence that cannot be
misunderstood or even
mistaken
much stress and chaos surrounds her, it is better to go
to the feet of Jesus than to complain, grumble and
nag.
Luke 10:38-42
38 Now it came to pass, as they went, that He
entered into a certain village: and a certain
woman named Martha received him into her
house.
39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also
sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word.
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40 But Martha was encumbered about much

serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost
thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve
alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
41 And Jesus answered and said unto her,
Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled
about many things:
42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath cho-
sen that good part, which shall not be taken away
from her.
Whatever you deposit at the feet of Jesus in prayer

will not be taken away. It will not be exaggerated,
gossiped about or blown out of proportion.
If you have been a Martha all along, turn into a Mary

today. Quit nagging, quit complaining, and quit looking
for sympathy. Sit down at the feet of Jesus and
Quit nagging, quit

complaining, and quit looking
for sympathy.
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Girl Power
discover what solution He has in store for you.
Prayer as a form of spiritual help is not limited to
wrong decisions. The Word of God instructs us to
pray without ceasing,
1Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing.
When a woman ceases to be

prayerful, her girl power takes
a hike ...
Prayer is not an event or incident, prayer is a lifestyle.
When a woman ceases to be prayerful, her girl power
takes a hike as well.
Martha and Mary belonged to the same household.

They both met Jesus when He walked into their house,
but only one of them acted like a woman of God;
silently seeking the face of God. The other acted like
she had never met Him. One would think that He was
not present in her house at that moment. It is clear
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from the bible that it was Martha who had personally

invited Jesus into her house yet she remained anxious,
unhappy disgruntled, grumbling and nagging. It is
obvious that she was anxious for the right cause. The
Word of God states that ‘she was distracted by much
serving.’ She had a good cause, and every right to be
angry. She was consumed by her concern to serve.
Martha and Mary’s home is an example of so many

homes today. Many women who believe they have
met Jesus and personally invited him into their
households go around anxious, unhappy and
disgruntled about another member of the household
(usually their husband). Sometimes like Martha, they
feel justified to harbor offence and complaints. Many
of them say in their hearts that ‘he is not supportive
enough, he is not helpful enough, why can’t he see
that I am working so hard?’
Unfortunately, the media and female vocal groups have

not made things any easier for you if at all you are
such a woman. All they tell you when you grumble
and complain is that grumbling and complaining is a
good sign because it depicts female awareness and is
a step forward towards not being abused and taken
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Girl Power
The power of His presence

will keep you happy, protected
and in control of the soulish
part of you.
advantage of. This is untrue; the only step towards
not being abused or taken advantage of is going to
the feet of Jesus like Mary did. The power of His
presence will keep you happy, protected and in control
of the soulish part of you.
Psalm 16:11 Thou wilt show me the path of

life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy
right hand there are pleasures forevermore.
Nagging, complaining and grumbling will only make

your household an unbearable place to be.
Proverbs 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner

of the housetop, than with a brawling (conten-
tious, distressful and nagging ) woman in a wide
house.
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So quit shouting, complaining and nagging. Create a

prayerful atmosphere in your home; one filled with
joy, faith, boldness and inner strength that can only
come from that calm which going to the feet of Jesus
will bring your way. Be a spiritual help to your husband
... help him before you help

others...
through agreement and prayer and help him before
you help others.
(iv) Spiritual help for a husband who does not

know Jesus.
Due to the sensitive and open nature bestowed upon

women, many of them come to know Jesus before
their husbands do. Because of this they find themselves
born again, Spirit-filled, with a fear for God and a
thorough knowledge of the Word and yet have to
continue living with an unbelieving man.
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Girl Power
The question then arises, does God make mistakes?
Many women find themselves wondering whether they
are in the right place or not. The answer is No my
dear, God does not make mistakes. The fact that you
came to know Jesus before your husband does not
necessarily mean that he will never come to know
Jesus himself. Just as the fact that you know Jesus
does not necessarily mean that the unbelieving
members of your clan will not become Christian one
day.
...God does not make

mistakes
Therefore, if you come to know Jesus before your

husband does, that is no excuse for you to look for a
way out, neither is it a license for you to come to
church in search of a young, righteous, spiritual and
over zealous boy to prey on.
The test of an unbelieving husband is simply the

beginning of a wonderful journey to the testimony of
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his transformation. If you can believe God for other

souls, how about the soul of the one close to you?
While writing to Jewish believers, Peter shows how
easy it is to win a non-believing husband. Winning an
...it is possible to change your

husband without a word
unbelieving husband to God is not dependent on how

well you can preach, sing or quote Scripture eloquently
and articulately. It is about how the believing wife
behaves towards him. Peter also shows in his letter
that it is possible to change your husband without a
word.
1Peter 3:1-2
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your
own husbands; that, if any obey not the word,
they also may without the word be won by the
conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation
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Girl Power
coupled with fear.
...most women who become

Christian before their husbands
become aggressive, assertive,
resentful and bitter.
Peter was no doubt the first advocate of ‘girl power.’
He goes ahead to emphasize the incorruptible beauty
of a gentle and quiet spirit which is very precious in
the sight of God.
Contrary to the teaching in the Word of God, most

women who turn Christian before their husbands do
become aggressive, overly assertive, resentful and bitter.
They use their newly acquired knowledge of the Word
to insult, despise and hit at these poor men and more
often than not, eventually find an excuse to run away
and marry believers.
A non-believing man has no revelational knowledge of

the word, and no matter how many scriptures are
thrown at him, they will no doubt encounter infertile
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ground. Neither does he understand your zeal for

fellowship. An overly zealous woman has no idea what
a negative impact she has on her husband when she
lets him have meals alone at home while she is busy
running to attend night prayer meetings at her local
church. All these things are highly spiritual and
attempting to explain them to a fleshly being like a
non-believer will only make you battle-weary. If an
individual speaks only French and does not understand
a word of English then the best way to communicate
with them would be in French.
In the same way, if somebody is physical or fleshy

and has no ounce of spirituality within him, the best
way to communicate with them would be in the
physical. This is why Peter says, ‘they will be won by
the conduct (actions) of their wives.’
...the incorruptible beauty of a

gentle and quiet spirit is very
precious in the sight of God.
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Girl Power
A non-believing man understands actions (conduct)
more than scripture. He can understand that a woman
who cannot keep herself hygienic and desirable isn’t
A non-believing man
understands actions (conduct)
more than scripture
worth running home to. He can understand when one
is rude and unwelcoming. He knows a lazy, sloppy
and shapeless woman who sleeps all day when he sees
one. So if your husband has not met Jesus yet, it is
time you found out why. Why does he not find you
attractive enough to follow you to church? Why can
he not sit down for 20 minutes while you attempt to
preach at him, and why have all those scriptures you
hurl at him in anger dropped on hard rock?
Before you run to your pastor for counseling and for

prayer to enable you to find a nice young Christian
man to make the father of your children, take a good
look at yourself and be sure you have not gone
completely wrong.
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Matthew 7:3 And why beholdest thou the mote

that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not
the beam that is in thine own eye?
Before you begin to pray and fast for your husband

communicate to him in a language he can understand.
Like I mentioned earlier, it does not take a Spirit-filled
being to realize that one’s home is dirty and
unwelcoming.
It is important for you as a

wife to make an attempt at
coming up...look your best
The non-believing woman that your husband gets in

contact with takes a lot of trouble to look desirable,
be knowledgeable and up-to-date. It is important for
you as a wife to make an attempt at coming up. Always
try to look your best, be clean, acquire knowledge,
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Girl Power
and become interested in your husband’s profession,
work as well as some of his healthy hobbies.For
example some men play football, hockey, soccer and
are athletic. It will not be a sin for you to sit down and
watch while your husband participates in a sport. This
will give you a common ground of conversation. Find
out what type of woman or wife your husband prefers
to have by his side. Some men prefer a domesticated
Find out what type of woman

or wife your husband prefers
to have by his side.
type of woman, who stays home, keeps house and
does not have much to offer in terms of business
ventures and new work plans.
Other men will prefer a liberated millennium

career-orientated woman with her own salary and job
to go to everyday. Whereas a few prefer a husband
and wife partnership in which case you both must be
contributors, knowledgeable and working together in
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the affairs of the home and workplace.
There are things a

Christian must do to create
an environment for the move
of God.
It is while working together in these areas, being
efficient and excellent, looking your best and being
lovely and welcoming that a non-believing man is best
ministered to. Remember faith without action is non-
existent. Your faith which is your prayer, fasting and
reading of scriptures should be accompanied with all
the actions mentioned like looking your best, working
hard etc.
Many institutions have rubbished the action side of

things calling them manipulative fleshly measures which
are taken instead of prayer. However, there are things
a Christian must do to create an atmosphere for a
move of God. When Jesus came to the tomb of
Lazarus, He asked the people to remove the stone
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Girl Power
before He could call out Lazarus from the dead. Jesus
Himself is God. He had all the power to order the
stone to give way or to order Lazarus to make a
fantastic superman stunt that would have him
catapulting through the stone and landing on his two
feet like a true bionic man. But He did no such thing.
Instead He asked the people to participate with an
action before He could come in and do what they
required of Him.
John 11:38-43
38 Jesus therefore again groaning in himself
cometh to the grave. It was a cave, and a stone
lay upon it.
39 Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. Martha,
the sister of him that was dead, saith unto him,
Lord, by this time he stinketh: for he hath been
dead four days.
40 Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee,
that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest
see the glory of God?
41 Then they took away the stone from the
place where the dead was laid. And Jesus lifted
up his eyes, and said, Father, I thank thee that
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thou hast heard me.

42 And I knew that thou hearest me always: but
because of the people which stand by I said it,
that they may believe that thou hast sent me.
43 And when He thus had spoken, He cried with
a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth.
Jesus is standing at the tomb

of your marriage...
Jesus is standing at the tomb of your marriage and

says to you today, ‘Quit contemplating and
reasoning.Take a step of faith and perform an action.
Roll away the stone that is separating you from that
spiritually dead husband of yours.’ To roll away a
stone you need to use your hands, your feet, your
entire physical strength, your technical know-how and
some wisdom as well. Roll away that stone so that the
Word of Jesus will be effective when it falls on the
ears of your spiritually dead husband.
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Girl Power
After you have rolled away the stone through the
actions that are discussed in this book, go ahead to
call him forth using the voice of Jesus which is the
Stand on the promises of the

Word of God regarding your
marriage, and begin to believe
God for your husband’s
salvation.
Word of God in prayer. Stand on the promises of the
Word of God regarding your marriage, and begin to
believe God for your husband’s salvation.
There are many promises on which you can stand to

call your husband forth. For example,
‘Whatever God has put together, no man shall

put asunder’
‘That’s why man shall leave his mother and fa-
ther and be one with his wife’
‘The marriage bed is undefiled’.....
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CHAPTER THREE
Matthew 19:4-6
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye
not read, that he which made them at the
beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father
and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they
twain shall be one flesh
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.
What therefore God hath joined together, let not
man put asunder.
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honorable in all, and

the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and
adulterers God will judge.
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Girl Power
Prayer for an unbelieving husband;
Father I come to you in the mighty name of Jesus

and I praise and thank you for my marriage. Your
word says he who finds a wife finds a good thing
and finds favor in the sight of the Lord. According to
your word Lord I am a good thing and my husband
as unbelieving as he is, has gained favor before you
by virtue of marrying me.
I thank you again because your word says we are

one and by this I know that whatever affects me affects
my husband. Lord I have been affected by the power
of your word and the light of your salvation, and in
the same way so has my husband because we are
one.
I now pray for the manifestation of what has affected

him that it be evident before the whole world because
a city on the top of a hill cannot be hidden.
Give me enough strength and power to do what you

want me to do (roll away the stone) while you do a
good work in my husband. (Call him forth by name)
In Jesus mighty Name I have prayed. Amen.
68
Remember to come back with thanksgiving after your

husband has confessed Christ as his personal Lord
and Savior.
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Girl Power
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EconomicHelper
○
Chapter Four
○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○
Proverbs 31:10-11
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price
is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in
her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
The first part of this Scripture shows us that for a

woman to be a good economic helper her price must
be far above that of rubies hence gaining her husband’s
trust because he is assured that he has nothing to lose.
Proverbs 31 is the best guide to the woman of God as
an economic helper to her husband. In this chapter we
will attempt to examine economic help while using
Proverbs 31 to shade light on the biblical aspect of an
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Girl Power
economically helpful wife.
What does this mean?
Many women in the world today have attached a price

tag to themselves. Rubies refer to value in terms of
material wealth. They set out to marry men who have
accumulated material wealth and with them it is either
a man with rubies or no man at all. Their price is rubies.
If you can get the money you can have them. They go
...with most women it is either

a man with rubies or no man
at all.
into marriage with this price tag written all over them.
Rubies Rubies Rubies! Their purpose in the marriage
is never to help create wealth but to usurp as much of
it as possible, considering whatever they have found
on ground to be the end and not the means to
prosperity.
Nevertheless, this Scripture shows us that in order for
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ECONOMIC HELPER
...in order for your husband to

trust you, your price must be
more important than rubies.
your husband to trust you, your price must be more
important than rubies. Anything which is more
expensive than rubies (money) is considered priceless.
My dear sisters, we should not sell ourselves. If your

husband realizes that you have not come to take from
him but to give to him, he will trust you.
A ruby-oriented woman will ask for money at every

good opportunity. She is a spendthrift who loves to
spend more than she does to save. Her output is always
so much bigger than her input. She makes so many
demands and creates an imbalance by giving very little
supply. Most men who marry ruby-oriented women
usually have their economic capacity drop within the
first year of their marriage.
Ruby-oriented women are shortsighted like the
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Girl Power
daughter of Herodias. She was given the chance to
ask for anything in life and instead decided to ask for
the head of John the Baptist. They too usually ask for
and prefer to invest in the wrong things. They focus
more at the ‘now’ than they do ‘’tomorrow.’ They
sacrifice their blessing by joining those who want to
silence the voice of God.
Proverbs 31:12 She will do him good and not

evil all the days of her life.
Biblically, a woman should do her husband economic

good and not evil all the days of his life. If you are
reading this book and discover that over the years
Ruby-oriented women are

short sighted ...
.
you have done your husband economic evil by being
ruby-oriented, determine to change your focus. It is
never too late to change.
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Proverbs 31:13-15
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh will-
ingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth
her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth
meat to her household, and a portion to her maid-
ens.
Biblically, a woman should do

her husband economic good
and not evil all the days of his
life.
Most Christians have taken the above Scriptures to

refer to a domesticated woman who scrubs her floor,
cooks the food and does everything alone. However,
I believe one can do all these things and still be
hopeless in terms of being an economic help. I believe
the writer refers here to a practical hardworking woman
who is quick to think and will go miles to make sure
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Girl Power
her household does not starve. Everybody in her house
including the house workers are blessed with a portion
from her. King Solomon refers to the workers as maid
servants. So if you are a career-oriented woman do
not feel intimidated by the above verses. Just because
you have a hired chef and cleaner does not mean you
are not a virtuous woman.
Proverbs 31:16 She considereth a field, and

buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth
a vineyard.
This verse shows us the investment choices of an

economically capable woman. She thinks of investing
in real estate and not in non-essentials as mentioned
earlier.
Just because you have a hired

chef and cleaner doesn’t mean
you are not a virtuous woman.
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Proverbs 31:17 She girdeth her loins with

strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
Verse 17 emphasizes the need to look after your body

with a good diet and good exercise so that you stay
strong enough to think and work very hard.
Proverbs 31:20 She stretcheth out her hand to

the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to
the needy.
This brings us to what I call spiritual economics which

refers to biblical investment. The Word of God implores
us to give if we want to receive.
Luke 6:38 Give, and it shall be given unto you,

good measure, pressed down, and shaken to-
gether, and running over, shall men give into your
bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete
withal it shall be measured to you again.
No matter how intelligent and hardworking a wife is,

wealth will never be multiplied by being mean, selfish
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Girl Power
and inconsiderate. A giving wife is a blessing to her
husband. The more you give, the more God will bless
you with the ability to do so.
The Lord said to Abraham;
Genesis 22:17-18
17 That in blessing I will bless thee, and in mul-
tiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of
the heaven, and as the sand which is upon the
sea shore; and thy seed shall possess the gate
of his enemies;
18 And in thy seed shall all the nations of the
earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed my
voice.
A giving wife is a blessing to

her husband.
After God blessed Abraham, He expected that the

blessing would not only stay in Abraham’s family but
would extend to all the nations of the earth.
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The Lord will bless you so that you too can be a

blessing to others. Do not try to horde wealth so that
it stays only within your family.
I do not write about things I have not personally

experienced. I thank God everyday for my dear
husband Pastor Robert Kayanja. He has not only
pastored and mentored me in the way of sacrifice,
I thank God every day for my

dear husband Pastor Robert
Kayanja
giving and sowing seed, but has also been a role model
in my life, my church and the whole nation at large. He
has shown what God can do for a man who is not
self-seeking, money hungry or greedy for gain but who
continually lays down his life that others may be
blessed.
Soon after we were married, my husband sold our

first car which had been a wedding present in order to
start on the construction of the house of God. He had
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Girl Power
always said that God had spoken to him personally to
build the temple and he would do it alone if he had to.
Year after year I watched my husband spearhead that

project by putting everything that came to us into it.
For a very long time he denied himself of a good car,
good house and good clothing.
Seeing the vast amount of money that went into the

building project caused me to re-assess the value I
had for money. When my husband would travel, I
would stay home to run this project and if there had
ever been an ounce of greed within me, it must have
It is easy for a man to start

building a house but only God
can complete it.
died then because any amount of money that came
our way was never enough to build the dream. It is
easy for a man to start building a house but only God
can complete it. That is why the Word of God says
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The Lord clearly showed me

that what I had was not
enough. I couldn’t hang onto
it, I needed to give it away
they labor in vain they that build without Him (see
Psalm 127:1). It was around this time that I thought I
too should sell my car and put the money into the
construction of the church building. However, I realized
that the money I got from the car would not be enough
to do even a tenth of the construction.
It was then that the Spirit of the Lord convicted me to

simply bless somebody with the car. The Lord clearly
showed me that what I had was not enough. I could
not hold onto it. I needed to give it away so that more
would come in. I immediately gave away the car and
was instantly blessed with a much better one which I
in turn gave away, and was blessed with another which
I have long since given away. My husband and I agreed
that between the two of us we would not stop giving
cars away and to cut the long story short the church
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Girl Power
construction is now finished, but we are still giving
cars away. God is our witness! On top of that, we
have provided free transport for our church members
to be ferried to and from the church by buying them
double- decker buses (not from the church’s income).
I have no doubt that I and my children will always
have reliable means of transport because of the
investment I have made in the kingdom of God. I
look forward to the day when the whole nation’s
transport system will be blessed through my seed.
Because of some of the seed sown in our earlier years

of ministry God has blessed my husband and I so
much that for me to begin to reiterate it would sound
like an exaggeration. We have been blessed spiritually,
socially, physically, and financially.
Your duty as a wife is to make sure you do not

discourage your husband from helping others. If your
husband is too busy with his work then you become
the giver.
Our church has an orphanage in the countryside and

a special school and a home for the former street
children of our city. Every time something is done for
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the needy and helpless there is an overwhelming

blessing that comes to our church. Poor people are
not a liability in the kingdom of God; they are an
asset, an opportunity for investment.
Your duty as a wife is to make

sure you do not discourage your
husband from helping others
Apart from tithing, remember to give to the needy
and to the work of God. The tithe is not yours. It
belongs to God.
Malachi 3:10-12
10 Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse,
that there may be meat in mine house, and prove
me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I
will not open you the windows of heaven, and
pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be
room enough to receive it.
11 And I will rebuke the devourer for your
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Girl Power
sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your
ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit
before the time in the field, saith the LORD of
hosts.
12 And all nations shall call you blessed: for ye
shall be a delightful land, saith the LORD of
hosts.
Tithing not only causes you to be blessed but also

protects the investments of an economically capable
woman. It protects the fruit of her ground from being
destroyed and creates for her a good reputation (all
nations shall call you blessed) which is favorable
for proper business dealings. People do not want to
Tithing ... protects the

investments of an economically
capable woman.
do business with individuals who have built themselves
a bad and unblessed reputation. For example in the
area of debt, use of unjust means to attain goals and
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even a reputation of poverty.
Proverbs 31:23 Her husband is known in the

gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the
land.
Behind every powerful man

there is a strong woman.
As the saying goes behind every powerful man there

is a strong woman. If you are a good economic help
to your husband, a good reputation will precede him
and because of this, the social status that some women
seek to attain by being ruby-oriented will come your
way through promotion, ‘He sits among the elders of
the land.’ This is a sign of promotion.
Proverbs 31:28-31
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but
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Girl Power
thou excellest them all.
30 Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a
woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be
praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let
her own works praise her in the gates.
Verse 28–31 which are the closing verses of this

chapter, elaborate on the benefits of being an economic
help as a woman. Your family, that is your children
and most important of all your husband will value and
praise you. Woman of God, there is a time when your
charm and beauty will begin to fade. No amount of
plastic surgery or chemical enhancement will keep you
young forever, but the investment that you have made
for God and other people will stand. Your own works
according to verse 31 will praise you in the gates.
...there is a time when your

charm and beauty will begin to
fade.
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Proverbs 31:30 Favor is deceitful, and beauty is

vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she
shall be praised.
Are you a ruby oriented, self

seeking woman with the price
tag rubies tagged all over you?
My dear sister what type of woman do you believe

you are? Are you a ruby-oriented, self-seeking woman
with the price tag of rubies tagged all over you?
Remember this is an enterprising world and even men
are beginning to prefer good quality for low value. Or
are you that priceless woman whose worth is far more
than rubies?
After reading this chapter you will be able to identify

the girl within you and decide whether or not she needs
to change .
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The woman of God

as a social help mate
○ ○
Chapter Five
○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○
The word social as defined by the Longman English

Dictionary is an adjective concerning human society.
It is organization or quality of life. It refers to time
spent in activities with friends, forming groups or living
together.
I prefer to define the word social as the manner in

which you relate to other people or more precisely
your relationships with others.
The greatest commandment given to us regarding

relationship is to:
‘...love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and
with all thy soul, and with all thy mind and to
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love thy neighbor as thyself’
[Matthew 22:37-39]
Since neighbor in the layman’s language would be

anyone living within one’s vicinity, then there must be
neighbors that are closer than others. Jesus, however,
in the parable of the Good Samaritan refers to a
neighbor as a friend in need.
As much as Jesus implies that the good Samaritan

was the man’s neighbor by virtue of the help he gave
him, it is also important to note that Jesus implores us
not only to love the friends who are good to us but
those who the bible refers to as our enemies.
Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your

enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to
them that hate you, and pray for them which
despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Every bible reading Christian is aware that love is the

foundation given to us from on high upon which
relationships are supposed to be built. However, there
is a spiritual revelation regarding association through
love that so many of us are yet to learn and this is that
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THE WOMAN OF GOD
AS A SOCIAL HELP MATE
Just because you love people

doesn’t mean you must love
the wrong things they do.
‘CONTEMPT FOR ONE’S ACTIONS IS NO
HATRED.’ Just because you love people does not
mean you must love the wrong things they do.
For a very long time I was a prisoner to narrowly

misinterpreting Luke 6:27/Matthew 5:44!
‘But I say unto you which hear, Love your en-
emies, do good to them which hate you’
[Matthew 5:44]
There were people in my life whose conduct I knew to

be inappropriate. The things they said and did never
contributed any good to me. Most times I would feel
let down, despised and rejected by their actions. Some
of them were used by the devil to waste my precious
time through empty and worthless talk. Others would
play the role of Lucifer by being the accuser of the
brethren.
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They would say mean things about fellow ministers
and men of God!
I prefer to go to places where I

can be challenged rather than
be the challenge.
All along I tolerated having them around me because I

had read that love covers a multitude of sins. Most, if
not all these people were not even members of my
church, but somehow they found their way into my
life in the name of Christian unity and love. They were
not even members of our branch churches. They had
different mentors, and no doubt different objectives
in life. Some of their pastors had nothing good to say
about our ministry or my own husband!
I set my goals in life at a young age and though I am

achieving them slowly, I am focused on my target. I
therefore prefer to go to places where I can be
challenged rather than be the challenge.
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Every time I met with these people, paid them a visit
or attended any of their meetings, it always turned
out that they had nothing of substance to offer in
terms of being a standard, a prototype or a role-model.
They were all those things I was trying my best not
to be.
It was around that time after I had another futile

encounter with them that I asked the Lord to re-define
association through love. The Lord then showed me
that it was I who needed to re-define my boundaries.
Holding peoples’ evil actions in contempt is not
ceasing to love them. You can love them from a
distance and resist the devil within them by not giving
him access to your emotions.
It is very difficult to walk in love and forgiveness if

you keep on getting hurt by the very people you are
The Lord then showed me that

it was I who needed to re-
define my boundaries.
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trying your best to forgive and love. The only way to
go about such people is to love them and hate what
they do. If you hate what they do, you will not hang
around them to behold more and more of these actions.
Which actions should you hate? We should hate the

type of action the Lord hates.
If you hate what they do, you

will not hang around to take in
more and more
Proverbs 6:16-19
16 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea,
seven are an abomination unto him:
17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that
shed innocent blood,
18 A heart that deviseth wicked imaginations,
feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that
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soweth discord among brethren.
Pride, lying, bearing false witness and sowing seeds

of discord among brethren have become greatly
ingrained into the people that call themselves the
kingdom of God on earth, that we do not seem to
consider them wrong anymore. Instead, people prefer
to look out for the more seemingly detailed sins like
murder, theft and adultery.
So many times I tried to correct these people. If they

said anything mean about my ministry, husband or
family I would try to justify myself. Nevertheless, there
is a group of people that are not worthy of correction.
The bible calls them scoffers.
Proverbs 9:7 He that reproveth a scorner

getteth to himself shame: and he that rebuketh
a wicked man getteth himself a blot.
Do not correct a scoffer lest he hates you. Scoffers

are people who have built an attitude about you or
about other people, which attitude they are determined
to keep.
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The devil will use scoffers to waste your time, destroy
your morale, discourage you from the work you are
supposed to do and also ruin your channel of blessing
by creating a spirit of bitterness and strife within you.
The best way to deal with a scoffer is to separate
yourself from them. Do not let them waste your time,
discourage you, or create bitterness and strife within
you.
The best way to deal with a

scoffer is to separate yourself from
them.
When Nehemiah arose to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem,

his enemies (the scoffers) arranged to have a meeting
with him. The bible says; ‘they meant to do him
harm.’ Nehemiah chose separation by refusing to
abandon the work he was doing for God in order to
meet them.
He said to the scoffers in Nehemiah;
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Nehemiah 6:3 And I sent messengers unto them,

saying, I am doing a great work, so that I can-
not come down: why should the work cease,
whilst I leave it, and come down to you?
This should always be your attitude as you set out to

minister, do the work of God and serve your husband
and family.
My dear girl, you are doing a great work. People might

not say so, they might not even think so, but why
should this work cease? Why would you leave it to go
down because of the scoffers? This Scripture also
shows that every time you abandon your work to
interact with scoffers, you go down and not up. ‘Why
should the work cease while I leave it and go down
to you?’ This is because the scoffer is on a much
lower altitude than you. Like Goliath, he stands in the
Girl, you are doing a great

work. People might not say so,
they might not even think so...
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valley while you like David stand on the hilltop.
Proximity is not unity, just as uniformity is not oneness.

You can love people at a distance. Just because you
wear the same clothes and go to the same places does
not make you one with them.
A good social helpmate will watch who she lets into

her life, family and ministry.
Who is a scoffer?
A scoffer according to the word of God is anyone

who denies evidence of the promise of God to other
people. Scoffers are people who refuse to believe that
the promises of God’s presence are being manifested
in your life. They despise God’s presence in other
people’s ministries, lives and families and choose to
pretend that they see no sign of the promise of His
Proximity is not unity, just as

uniformity is not oneness.
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coming.
2 Peter 3:4 And saying, where is the promise of

his coming? For since the fathers fell asleep, all
things continue as they were from the beginning
of the creation.
scoffers despise God’s presence

in other people’s ministries...
Scoffers are not exalters but are usually ruthless and

publicly critical; preferring to use other people’s
weaknesses to build a strong platform for themselves.
They have a very low self-esteem and subsequently
tend to believe that the only way they can get themselves
close to somebody important is by slander,
propaganda and sowing seeds of discord.
Scoffers as shown in 2 Peter 3:4 have no regard for

men of God or the anointing and will always refer to
the glory of the past as being greater than the glory of
the present.
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Girl Power
In 2 Peter 3, they refer to the anointed fathers as having
died (fallen asleep) and they say since their death,
things continue as they were from the begining of
creation.
Scoffers lack a teachable spirit and dare not be

corrected.
Proverbs 9:8 Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate

thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.
Scoffers have no regard for men

of God or the anointing
They instead take it upon themselves to look for the
slightest opportunity to correct others. Scoffers are
not always unruly and loud and they are not necessarily
people without knowledge of the Word of God. They
may not even be flamboyant, pompous or have any
obvious red-light details. Sometimes they are pious-
looking Bible reading Christians with a strong feeling
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THE WOMAN OF GOD
of self-righteousness and spiritual superiority. Scoffers
will cause you to sin by inciting gossip, envy, hatred,
unforgiveness, shame and anger.
Girl, you do yourself great good by preserving your

ministry, household and personal life from the scoffer.
Forgive the scoffer, love the scoffer, pray for the
scoffer, but hate what they do and define your
boundaries.
Scoffers lack a teachable spirit

and dare not be corrected.
Examine your social life now and find out exactly who
is playing centre stage. Are you being controlled, are
you in control or is God in control of your
relationships? Remember your girl power: in quietness
and in rest shall be your strength.
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The woman of God

her style and presentation
(a physical helpmate)
○
Chapter Six
○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○
So many women will imagine that anything to do with

the physical woman is fleshly, not within the spiritual
realm and not worth mentioning.
Good traditional doctrine has taught women to

disregard this shroud of flesh in which they
temporarily dwell and to concentrate on the more
eternal spiritual matters. Legalistic sermons about
ignoring one’s appearance have now become more
acceptable than lectures on health and beauty.
All this emphasis on spiritual matters is the truth and

nothing but the truth. It is in fact true that we are a
spirit-being trapped in a box of flesh. However, there
is only one problem: that box that so many people
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imagine is useless, remains the only container your
spirit-being will ever have all the days of your life.
And the moment the physical ceases to contain the
spiritual then you are no longer of use to the rest of
the world.
When your container expires you are forced to retire.

This is to show you how important the physical is.
When you go out to minister it is this box of flesh
that the world sees standing before them. Before you
go to bed at night it is the same box of flesh that your
husband looks at.
So as useless as the physical body might be on

judgment day, it certainly does a lot of good for the
woman of God on earth. It is by this box of flesh
When you go out to minister it

is this box of flesh that the world
sees standing before them
that you are identified on earth. Passports, identity
cards and all other documents pertaining to identity,
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THE WOMAN OF GOD
HER STYLE & PRESENTATION
carry a picture of the physical you on them.
When God made man and woman, He packaged them

in the physical. For purposes of identity and
...the way you present this

physical part of you is what people
call your style.
representation He gave each of us a unique package
called the human body. Everyone is unique. Even Adam
and Eve who were both created at about the same time
turned out to be different from each other.
Your body is a form of identity and the way you present

this physical part of you is what people call your style.
It is important for a woman to take care of her body
for three reasons:
1)First and foremost, it is the temple of the Holy Spirit

that should not be defiled.
2)To look beautiful.
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3)For health reasons.
Many people have written about the body as a temple

of the Holy Spirit. A number of Christian medical
personnel have dealt on the subject of health. I, on
the other hand, have been led to write about beauty,
presentation and style.
Why is it important for a christian woman to look

beautiful and to have good presentation and
style?
When God made woman He made her beautiful. God

was pleased with her.
Genesis 1:31 And God saw every thing that He

had made, and, behold, it was very good. And
the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
We are all beautiful from the

time we are made or born
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That word everything includes woman. We were all
made in the image of God and we are all beautiful
from the time we are made or born. From the moment
God created you my dear girl, He looked at you and
indeed what He saw was very good. Beauty is real
and tangible. The bible says in Genesis,
Genesis 12:14 And it happened, when Abram

had come into Egypt, the Egyptians saw the
woman, that she was very beautiful.
Beauty is real and tangible
If Sarah the mother of faith, the woman who was

married to the man of God, who received visitations
from God in his backyard was not too pious to take
care of her body, so that even the non-believers
thought of her as remarkably beautiful, then why
shouldn’t you take care of yours?
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What do the non believers think when they see
you?
Sarah the mother of faith was

pious enough to take enough
care of her body
Remember we are all born beautiful but you can either
ruin your beauty or maintain it. Choose to maintain
your beauty today and stop misrepresenting the God
who made you in His own image. When human
beings are created by God and first brought into the
world as babies, they are gorgeous, have beautiful
soft hair, flawless skin, clear eyes, and a wonderful
fragrance about them.
God is pleased with this Garden of Eden image.

Unfortunately, a few years on earth, coupled with
lack of personal hygiene, bad feeding habits, lack of
exercise, lack of rest and simple carelessness, fuelled
by legalistic doctrines gradually diminish the Garden
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of Eden image.
Only one look in the mirror will show you how far
you have fallen from this godly image. Well, wakeup!
Gather your guts and change your style. Bring in more
personal hygiene be clean in and out, improve your
feeding habits, do some exercise and take enough rest.
...improve your feeding habits,

do some exercise and take
enough rest.
When I began to understand Genesis 12:14, I realized
that beauty is not beauty if only the believers can see
it. The Scripture shows that Sarah was so beautiful
that not only Abraham the believer could see her beauty
but also the non-believers.
Egypt is well-known for having attained civilization in

an age before it existed in other lands. For a group of
people from a contemporary modernized setting to
find you attractive you must be up-to-date in your
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style and fashion. I doubt the Egyptians would have
found Sarah attractive if she did not measure up real
good.
Before I became a born again Christian there was a

group of people who used to preach and minister to a
certain family I knew. On several occasions while I
was visiting with this family they dropped in to preach.
Unfortunately, for me they appeared to be the most
old-fashioned people I had ever seen. The mere sight
of them did not give me even the slightest
I doubt the Egyptians would

have found Sarah attractive if
she did not measure up real
good
encouragement I needed to sit down long enough to
listen to what they had to say. I was that Egyptian.
Only this time I did not think these people were beautiful
enough for me to want to retain them in Pharaoh’s
house. Because of the way they looked they lost the
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THE WOMAN OF GOD
opportunity to minister to me. I thought to myself, ‘I
dare not be turned into one of them and end up
having to wear unsightly dresses and a head scarf
all the time.’ Because Sarah was beautiful, the bible
says in Genesis,
Because of the way they looked

they lost the opportunity to
minister to me.
Genesis 12:15 And Pharaoh’s princes saw her,

and they praised her before Pharaoh. And the
woman was taken into Pharaoh’s house.
Refusing to look pleasant might not only deny you

the opportunity to minister but might be the key to
lock important doors before you. Sarah went before
Pharaoh just because of the way she looked. So come
on girl! Become a bit daring and stop being that old-
fashioned sister that is a complete turn off for the
Egyptian civilization!
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Girl Power
Genesis 12:16 And he did good to Abram be-
cause of her. And he had sheep, and oxen, and
he -asses, and male slaves, and slave-girls, and
she-asses, and camels.
An attractive woman is a good physical helpmate to

her husband. Not only is she strong enough to carry
out her duties as a wife and mother, but is a source of
pride. The way one’s husband and family is treated in
society will change if a woman looks presentable. The
bible says Pharaoh treated Abraham well because of
Sarah.
An attractive woman is a good

physical helpmate to her
husband.
Take time off to find out what is up-to-date and

fashionable. To be fashionable is not ungodly. It is
alright to look stylish and trendy as long as your entire
body is covered up and you do not look immoral.
Maintaining beauty will take time and preparation.
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Esther 2:3 And let the king choose officers in all

the provinces of his kingdom, so that they may
gather together every beautiful young virgin to
Shushan the palace, to the house of the women,
to the hand of Hegai the king’s eunuch, keeper
of the women, to give their purifications.
To be fashionable is not ungodly
Although the virgins given for the king were all naturally
beautiful, they still needed beauty preparations to
appear before the King.
A woman of God needs to take sometime off to comb

her hair, brush her teeth and look fashionable prior to
appearing before the King of Kings. Beauty cannot be
separated from the presence of God. The Lord Himself
is beautiful for situation [Psalm 48:2].
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Psalm 27:4 One thing have I desired of the
LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell
in the house of the LORD all the days of my
life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to
inquire in his temple.
Moses’ face shone when he came from the presence

of the Lord.
Beauty cannot be separated

from the presence of God. The
Lord Himself is beautiful for
situation.
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THE WOMAN OF GOD
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Girl Power
116
The woman of God

atorher place of work
area of ministry
Chapter Seven
○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○
1Peter 2:18 Servants, be subject to your mas-

ters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle,
but also to the froward.
Many Christian women have a problem submitting to

their employers because they assume that they are only
accountable to God. To be submissive is to work hard,
arrive in time, and to be polite and diligent in service.
Whatsoever work thy hand findeth to do my dear, do
it with all thy might, not unto men but as unto God
[Colossians 3:23].
Every time you are lazy and do not deliver, you let
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Girl Power
Every time you are lazy and do
not deliver you let God down ..
God down whom you represent and not your boss,
because your boss can fire you and hire another but
your God will be identified with a failure if you fail.
Many women in ministry feel marginalized, and in an

attempt to defend themselves, they make it a point to
be as rebellious towards authority as possible.
Remember your girl power is a gentle and quiet spirit;
that is very precious in the sight of God. There are a
few would-be men who are intimidated by powerful
women at work and sometimes even in ministry. This
kind try their best to put women down by being rude
and intimidating toward them. A man who tries to put
down a woman is not yet a man. He is still a boy. I
always say that the difference between a boy and a
man is this; a man already believes he is a man and
does not have to prove it to anybody by putting
anyone down. However, a boy is simply attempting
to show he is a man and prove himself all the time.
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CHAPTER SEVEN
THE WOMAN OF GOD
AT HER PLACE OF WORK OR AREA OF MINISTRY
Do not get into open confrontation over the gender
issue; only do the work that the Lord will bring your
way. Remember silence is not weakness. A powerful
working woman will also learn from the chapters
written on An Economic Helpmate and A Woman’s
Presentation and Style.
The Spiritual woman of God
Jesus said, ‘...you shall know them by their fruit’

(Matthew 7:16). ‘The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy,
peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, and self- control. For against such
there is no law’ (Galatians 5:22-23).
Being a spiritual person is not about how famous or

well-known your ministry is. It is not about how great
an intercessor you have become, and it is not measured
by how well you can quote Scriptures. All these things
will contribute to making you spiritual.
... Remember silence is not

weakness
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Girl Power
However, a spiritual woman of God has the fruit of
the Spirit emanating from her. She is a woman of
love, her heart is filled with joy, she has the peace of
God and she is patient, kind, faithful, gentle and under
perfect control.
After reading this book, we are now ready to launch

into the spiritual. If there is any fruit that is not evident
in your life identify it and pray along with me.
Before we pray, forgive everybody who has done

you wrong. Let them go today.
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CHAPTER SEVEN
THE WOMAN OF GOD
AT HER PLACE OF WORK OR AREA OF MINISTRY
Prayer for the spiritual woman.
Dear Lord,
I come to you in the wonderful name of Jesus and
thank you for the opportunity to be your own child. I
now realize that there are aspects of my marriage, my
work, and my image that have prevented me from
being the spiritual woman that I should be.
Father I forgive everyone who has hurt me and pray

that You too forgive me for the many people I have
hurt. Make me that woman who loves, whose heart is
full of joy and peace. Make me patient and good,
make me faithful and gentle and give me self-control.
Give me that gentle and quiet spirit which is very

precious in your sight and give me enough opportunity
to have quietness and rest so that I will become a
Girl of Power.
Thank you dear Lord for the wonderful gift of

womanhood. Amen
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Girl Power
122
BOOKS BY ROBERT KAYANJA
Power Beyond Words
A Thousand Fold Increase
The Secrets of Abraham’s Faith
The Seed
No More Ordinary Bread
Divine Impact
Possessing The Land
Bringing The Presence of God Home
123
Girl Power
124
TO CONTACT THE AUTHOR

write to:
Robert Kayanja Ministries

Highway of Holiness
P.O. Box 800364
Dallas, Texas 75380
or call:
toll free 1-866-286-2711
Email: rkayanja@hotmail.com
or visit our Website at:

www.kayanja.org
In Uganda Write to:

Robert Kayanja Ministries
Highway of Holiness
P.O. Box 1680
Kampala, Uganda
or call
256-77-435162, 256-77-403895,
256-451708
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Pastor Jessica Kayanja

2nd Printing 2004

All rights reserved under International Copyright Law. Contents

To all of you I say, ‘Right on, Sister!’ You can be a

Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own

Special thanks also to my wonderful family: to my

Special thanks also to the people who have helped in

The truth of the matter is that we all as men seek to

When I found Jessica, I found that which was missing

Her wisdom and strength to literally sacrifice me to

When the $100 was finished, she allowed us to part

Such a woman, who can find?

Being there for our children when I could not, and

Therefore what she is sharing is for real. It is powerful

I have seen her as a wife, mother and teammate, and

God bless you as you read.

Pastor Robert Kayanja

I had always wanted to serve the Lord and I believed

I wanted to preach as much as

I loved being a woman and

For many years I thought I could not do both, I

I do not blame them one bit. As a result of the gender

I noticed the lack of submission by these so-called

It was then that I realized that beauty and adornment

...real effective tools of beauty

Being a woman of God is not only about what you

What really matters is whatever you have on the inside

Psalm 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken

Every time you come into ministry you present yourself

Many have sacrificed the

1Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection

Woman of God, do you realize that even before

You already have a strong

...that internal magnet, that

Please do not get me wrong, I am by no means a silent

1Corinthians 7:7 For I would that all men were

No woman should ever have to borrow a masculine

So in the following chapters of this book I will attempt

We will look at;

1.The woman of God and her marriage and family.

The woman of God

As ironical as it may sound, I would like to begin this

I was shocked not only by hearing such an ‘off the

I do not know how you can say ‘before I got to know

Someone had taught the girl about faith; someone had

In worse scenario cases ‘women of God’ have walked

Someone had taught the girl

they were married to had not given them enough time

Others in a passionate attempt to avoid all these hurdles

The first ministry ever given

It is important for every woman minister or any girl

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not

Isn’t it amazing that the first statement that the Lord

It is impossible to have an end after you have

This does not mean that every preacher woman should

It means that before you go out to evangelize and to

The Spiritual Helper

(i)The greatest spiritual help that you can give the

Matthew 18:19 Again I say unto you, That if two

Woman of God, you are the greatest unconditional

Holy matrimony is not a

Being an agreement partner is not easy at all. It involves

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his