QUARTER TO THREE

Have you ever felt the indomitable task of forgetting someone and, even with most absolute effort,
you succumb to failure? Well, this thought and other variations of it have become regulars in my
consciousness. There is always a part of me saying, “something is still there”. Quite obviously, there
is a counter voice emphasizing, “there was nothing to leave in the first place”. It might be a cliché,
but I feel the presence of a devil and an angel on my shoulder, continuously advertising there views,
perpetually having a tug of war with my inclinations. But the interesting part is, I am gradually losing
the ability to distinguish between the two.

I hope I am not “the one” as I am pretty content to believe that being a human, I am suffering with
constant confusion just like others. It, oddly, feels comforting that there are other souls facing such
questions. But there must be something that differentiates us. I reckon, it is the time we take to
balance our lives. Well, a matter for a different dinner table.

Now, I’ve come to understand a few things. The flux of opposing thoughts is here to stay. It’s
something we’ve inherited from the 200,000 years of human evolution, sparked from our inherent
curiosity and rational. So, having thoughts of someone is, scientifically, normal. It’s just you are
intrigued and taking away the curiosity will probably remove them. Also adding on to the thoughts,
pun intended, I personally prefer the analogy to a pendulum. When you are too close to the end, the
swings will be greater. As you move towards the “fixed point”, the swinging can be observed without
affecting you. Moving towards the point of stability will be a good bet to get rid of them. Lastly,
there is great quote by Edward Einstein that he wrote to his son Eduard, “life is like riding a bicycle.
To maintain balance it is important to keep moving”.

To end this “quarter to three in the morning wondering”, I’d say, for sure, I have come to realise,
seeking answer for which we don’t possess the right questions or understand it completely, is futile.
That’s just not the way life is to be seen, for one can only view it in retrospect. Isn’t this what the
cameras our built for? It’s better to let them do their job. Ask questions that you completely
understand and strive to solve them. This might help to ride the tide. Thank you for the time!