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CANADA’S MAY 2020


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MAGAZINE
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Raising Baby
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reader’s digest

CONTENTS

46
heart
Quilted Memories
After my husband
passed away, my chil-
dren found a novel way
to honour him.

82 BY MARY JANE PHILP


FROM THE GLOBE AND MAIL

50
heart
Mother Superior
Cindy Stirling has fos-
38 tered 200 kids, providing
Features
JARED HOBBS/ALL CANADA PHOTOS

drama in real life school lunches, rides to


My Dog the War Hero swimming lessons and

30
Before I adopted a home where everyone
Dyngo, he spent nine feels safe and loved.
months saving lives in BY LUC RINALDI
cover story FROM TORONTO LIFE
Afghanistan. Could he
BOOST YOUR return to civilian life?
BRAIN POWER BY REBECCA FRANKEL on the cover:
BY VANESSA MILNE FROM SMITHSONIAN photo illustration by c.j. burton

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58 68 82
humour profile environment
Rely on Me, Not Google Fancy Feet Saving the
A plea from the lonely On the eve of her retire- Spotted Owl
Magic 8 Ball collecting ment, a look at ballet They are on the brink
dust in your basement. star Karen Kain’s one- of extinction in Canada.
BY CASSIE BARRADAS of-a-kind career. Scientists at a breeding
BY EMILY LANDAU centre in British
60 Columbia are fighting
memoir 76 for their survival.
The Flower Thief life lesson BY SARAH COX
FROM THE NARWHAL
With only months to Fuller House
live, Brian Brett sur- How to keep the peace
rounded himself with with three generations 92
editors’ choice
stolen beauty. living under one roof.
FROM THE TYEE BY PHILIP PREVILLE
The Invisible Wall
In 2017, thousands of
earthquake-displaced
Haitians crossed Can-
ada’s border, sometimes
through frozen fields at
night, hoping to claim
refugee status. They
discovered how our
barriers to non-white
immigrants can be
COURTESY OF THE NATIONAL BALLET OF CANADA
higher, arbitrary and
unforgiving.
BY DESMOND COLE
FROM THE SKIN WE’RE IN

2 may 2020
68
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Departments
4 Editor’s Letter Humour
6 Contributors 13
Life’s Like That
7 Letters
18 Points to Ponder 49
Laughter, the Best
80 World Wide Weird Medicine
big idea 66
10 Planting the Seed As Kids See It
A farming project 75
in Kenya is helping Laugh Lines
communities grow
91
their own food. Down to Business
(LAUNDRY) CLAYTON HANMER; (EGGS) SHUTTERSTOCK/MARINAD_37; ( JASON TETRO) LAUREN TAMAKI

BY NICHOLAS HUNE-
BROWN

ask an expert
14 How Can I Avoid
Deadly Viruses?
We ask Jason
Tetro, author of
The Germ Files.
BY COURTNEY SHEA health
20 In Cold Blood
14
13 things
Why do some reader’s digest
16 What You Should book club
people always have
Know About 104 The Glass Hotel
Laundry chilly hands, even
Each month,
BY ANNA-KAISA WALKER when it’s warm?
BY VANESSA MILNE
we recommend
a new great read.
22 News From the BY EMILY LANDAU

World of Medicine 106 Brainteasers


BY SAMANTHA RIDEOUT
108 Trivia
26 What’s Wrong
With Me? 109 Word Power
A medical mystery 111 Sudoku
resolved.
BY LISA BENDALL 112 Crossword

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reader’s digest

anger at being carded, of seeing every


police officer as a potential threat,
of women crossing the street at his
approach, of always feeling judged. It
prompted a city-wide reckoning about
racist policies and coincided with the
rise of the Black Lives Matter move-
ment in North America.
Now Cole has written a book, The
Skin We’re In, that lays bare patterns
of racism across the country and espe-
cially in how Canada rebuffs black
EDITOR’S LETTER immigrants. That’s the subject of a
chapter we excerpt in this issue of RD
(“The Invisible Wall,” page 92). Cole

More Than describes people who’ve risked freezing


to death while trying to cross the bor-

Skin Deep der and claim asylum, the deportation


of Haitians back to their earthquake-
ravaged country, and the Caribbean

S
ix years ago, I met the journalist nurses and domestic workers who’ve
Desmond Cole for a coffee that fought for respect and for their basic
took a surprise turn. At the time, rights. He proves the lie that we’re liv-
I worked at Toronto Life magazine, ing in a post-racial utopia. And he’ll
and I wanted him to write for us leave you feeling frustrated, full of
about racial profiling and carding— shame and angry, too.
the controversial practice by police
in many cities of stopping black
men on the street, often with-
out cause, and demanding to
P.S. You can reach
see ID. Then he mentioned me at mark@rd.ca.
that he’d personally been
stopped some 50 times. I
DANIEL EHRENWORTH

was stunned. That, I said—


write about that!
The resulting story, “The
Skin I’m In,” described his
frustration, shame and

4 may 2020
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P U B L I S H E D B Y T H E R E A D E R ’ S D I G E S T M A G A Z I N E S C A N A D A L I M I T E D, M O N T R E A L , C A N A D A

Christopher Dornan chairman of the board


Brian Kennedy president and publisher
Mark Pupo editor-in-chief
deputy editor Lauren McKeon art director John Montgomery
executive editor, associate art director Danielle Sayer
digital Brett Walther graphic designer Pierre Loranger
senior editors Megan Jones, content operations
Micah Toub manager Lisa Pigeon
assistant editor, circulation director Edward Birkett
digital Robert Liwanag
contributing editor Samantha Rideout contributors: Cassie Barradas, Lisa Bendall, Derek
Bowman, Brian Brett, C.J. Burton, Natalie Castellino,
intern Rosie Long Decter Chelsea Charles, Desmond Cole, Sarah Cox, Deshi Deng,
proofreader Imogen Brian Daniel Ehrenworth, Rebecca Frankel, Clayton Hanmer,
senior researcher Lucy Uprichard Vanessa Heins, Nicholas Hune-Brown, Roderick Kimball,
researchers Nour Abi-Nakhoul, Ali Susan Camilleri Konar, Emily Landau, Kailee Mandel, Alex
Amad, Martha Beach, Manley, Vanessa Milne, Christina Palassio, Mary Jane Philp,
Philip Preville, Darren Rigby, Luc Rinaldi, Julie Saindon,
Nicole Schmidt Courtney Shea, Fraser Simpson, Lauren Tamaki,
copy editors Chad Fraser, Amy Conan de Vries, Rachel Wada, Anna-Kaisa Walker,
Harkness, Richard Johnson Jeff Widderich, Victor Wong, Belle Wuthrich

THE READER’S DIGEST ASSOCIATION (CANADA) ULC


Barbara Robins legal | Corinne Hazan financial director
Mirella Liberatore product manager, magazine marketing

national sales director James Anderson


national account executives Suzanne Farago (Montreal), 121 Bloor St. E.
Robert Shaw (Vancouver), Melissa Silverberg (Toronto) Suite 430
marketing and research director Kelly Hobson Toronto, ON
head of marketing solutions and new product development Melissa Williams M4W 3M5
production manager Lisa Snow

TRUSTED MEDIA BRANDS


Bonnie Kintzer president and chief executive officer
Raimo Moysa editor-in-chief, international magazines

VOL. 196, NO. 1,169 Copyright © 2020 by Reader’s Digest Magazines We acknowledge
Canada Limited. Reproduction in any manner in whole or in part in with gratitude the
English or other languages prohibited. All rights reserved throughout financial support of
the world. Protection secured under International and Pan-American the Government of Canada. / Nous remercions le
copyright conventions. Publications Mail Agreement No. 40070677. Gouvernement du Canada pour son appui financier.
Postage paid at Montreal. Return undeliverable Canadian addresses to
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Print subscriptions, $34.50 a year, plus $8.99 postage, processing and
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CONTRIBUTORS
VANESSA MILNE RACHEL WADA
Writer, Toronto Illustrator, Vancouver
“Boost Your “Quilted Memories”
Brainpower”
Before moving to
Milne is one of Canada’s leading jour- Canada at the age of nine, Wada
nalists on the health beat. She has lived in Japan, China and Hong Kong.
edited health stories at the Toronto She explores her cultural heritage
Star, was a writer for Healthy Debate through illustration. Wada illustrated
and has written articles on issues like Heather Smith’s 2018 children’s
physician-assisted death, food sensi- book, The Phone Booth in Mr. Hirota’s

(MILNE) ROBERT CARUSO; (MANDEL) LUCY LU; (WADA) SANNA WOO; (PREVILLE) ASH NAYLER
tivities and fertility for publications Garden. Her next book project, about
such as Today’s Parent, The Globe and a family living in a Hmong refugee
Mail and Chatelaine. Read her tips camp, will be published in 2021. See
for a healthier brain on page 30. her illustration on page 46.

KAILEE MANDEL PHILIP PREVILLE


Photographer, Toronto Writer, Peterborough
“Planting the Seed” “Fuller House”

Mandel first started Preville’s first journal-


taking photos as a way to bond with ism job was at the Montreal Mirror,
her mother, a wildlife photographer. where he wrote a weekly roundup of
Today she shoots a range of subjects, quirky news items. Today, he mostly
including pets, food and travel, as writes about politics and tries to tell
well as portrait photography. Mandel’s stories that help people see their
work has appeared in publications world with fresh eyes. His work has
like Canadian Geographic, The Globe appeared in Toronto Life, Saturday
and Mail and Foodism. Find her Night, Canadian Business and
photo of the founders of Thrive for Cottage Life. Read about his multi-
Good on page 10. generational home on page 76.

6 may 2020
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LETTERS

TRAVEL COMPANION
Before an upcoming trip, I always
hoard copies of RD to bring along. The
articles remind me of home, and I love
“Word Power”—I’m in constant com- cabs when Hazel strode up to our group
petition with my husband as to who and announced, “Boys, I’m walking.”
has the superior mind. I am happy to We followed on foot. I’m glad she hasn’t
report that I’ve won five out of five slowed down since.
times so far on our current vacation — NEIL MCKENDRICK, Fernie, B.C.
in Mexico. Thanks for entertaining us
around the globe and for reinforcing THE MARVELLOUS MIDDLE
to my husband that I am, indeed, the I really enjoyed reading “The Missing
smarter one. Middle” in the January/February 2020
— BRENDA HELM, Warman, Sask. issue. I’m a two-way middle child—the
third of five kids and the middle sister—
RAIN OR SHINE and I strongly related to the article.
I appreciated your article on former Growing up, my favourite characters
Mississauga, Ont., mayor Hazel McCal- on The Brady Bunch and The Waltons
lion (“Force of Nature,” October 2019). were the middle sisters, Jan and Erin—
I once attended a city planning confer- poor Erin sandwiched between perfect
PUBLISHED LETTERS ARE EDITED FOR LENGTH AND CLARITY

ence where she gave a talk. After the Mary Ellen and adorable Elizabeth.
session, a number of the attendees We should celebrate the Jans and Erins
decided to go to a restaurant, but it was of the world!
raining. People had started ordering — DEB WHALEN, Simcoe, Ont.

CONTRIBUTE
Send us your funny jokes and anecdotes, and if we publish one in a print FOR SERVICE TO SUBSCRIBERS Pay your bill, view your account
edition of Reader’s Digest, we’ll send you $50. To submit, visit rd.ca/joke. online, change your address and browse our FAQs at rd.ca/con-
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Has the Prescription Opioid Crisis affected


you or someone you know? You could be
compensated from the Purdue Pharma L.P.
(U.S.) Bankruptcy Proceeding.
File Your Claim by June 30, 2020.
PLEASE READ THIS NOTICE CAREFULLY. YOUR RIGHTS MAY BE AFFECTED.

WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?


Purdue U.S.
If you think you’ve been hurt by Purdue Pharma L.P., a U.S. limited
partnership, its general partner and its subsidiaries, including Imbrium
7KHUDSHXWLFV /3 $GORQ 7KHUDSHXWLFV /3 *UHHQȴHOG %LR9HQWXUHV /3
Avrio Health L.P., Rhodes Technologies, and Rhodes Pharmaceuticals L.P.
(collectively, “Purdue U.S.”), or Purdue U.S. prescription opioids, like
OxyContin®, or other prescription opioids produced, marketed or sold by
3XUGXH 86 \RX FDQ ȴOH D FODLP IRU FRPSHQVDWLRQ LQ WKH 3XUGXH 86
EDQNUXSWF\SURFHHGLQJ7KHGHDGOLQHWRȴOHDFODLPDJDLQVW3XUGXH86LV
June 30, 2020, at 5:00 p.m. Eastern Time.
Purdue Canada
Purdue Pharma (Canada), Purdue Frederick Inc. (Canada) and Purdue
Pharma Inc. (Canada) (collectively, “Purdue Canada”) are not Debtors and
are not subject to the Purdue U.S. bankruptcy proceeding. If you have a
FODLPRQO\DJDLQVW3XUGXH&DQDGD\RXDUHQRWUHTXLUHGWRȴOHRUVXEPLWD
Proof of Claim Form in the Purdue U.S. bankruptcy proceeding. Certain
claims against Purdue Canada remain subject to an existing Canadian
settlement approval process.

WHAT IS A CLAIM AND WHO CAN FILE?


A “claim” means a right to seek payment or other compensation. You
PXVW ȴOH D SURRI RI FODLP IRUP VR WKDW LW LV actually received by the
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UHODWLYHV RI SHRSOH ZKR KDYH GLHG RU DUH GLVDEOHG All Personal Injury
Claimant Proof of Claim Forms and any supporting documentation
submitted with those forms will be kept KLJKO\FRQȴGHQWLDO and will
not be made available to the public.<RXGRQRWQHHGDODZ\HUWRȴOHD
proof of claim for you.
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Additionally, partnerships, corporations, joint ventures, trusts, governmental


XQLWVDQGȴUVWQDWLRQDQGLQGLJHQRXVJRYHUQPHQWVRUEDQGVPD\DOVRȴOHD
proof of claim against Purdue U.S.
Go to www.PurduePharmaClaims.comWRȴQGDFRPSOHWHOLVWRILQVWUXFWLRQV
RQKRZWRȴOHDFODLP<RXZLOODOVRȴQGDOLVWRIWKHRSLRLGVSURGXFHGPDUNHWHG
or sold by Purdue U.S.
<RXVKRXOGȴOHD3URRIRI&ODLPHYHQLIDVHWWOHPHQWLVFRQWHPSODWHGLQWKH
Purdue U.S. bankruptcy proceeding so that your claim can be considered as
SDUWRIDQ\VHWWOHPHQW<RXVKRXOGDOVRȴOHD3URRIRI&ODLPHYHQLIWKHUHLVD
pending class action settlement related to your claim.

WHO DOES THIS AFFECT AND WHAT ARE MY RIGHTS?


If you think you’ve suffered harm from Purdue U.S. prescription opioids, you
KDYHWKHULJKWWRȴOHDFODLPHYHQLI\RXPD\DOVRhave received reimbursement
IURP LQVXUDQFH  ([DPSOHV RI FODLPV WKDW PD\ EH ȴOHG LQ WKH 3XUGXH 86
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life, etc., or Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (sometimes referred to as “NAS”),
among others.
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Eastern Time,I\RXGRQRWȴOHDFODLPDJDLQVW3XUGXH86E\WKHGHDGOLQH\RXZLOO
ORVHWKHULJKWWRȴOHDFODLPDJDLQVW3XUGXH86DQG\RXZLOOORVHDQ\ULJKWWRVHHN
payment or compensation you may have had from Purdue U.S. Proof of Claim
Forms, a list of opioids produced, marketed or sold by Purdue U.S., and instructions
IRUKRZWRȴOHDFODLPDUHRQOLQHDWwww.PurduePharmaClaims.com. You can also
request a claim form by mail, email or phone:

Purdue Pharma Claims Processing Center


c/o Prime Clerk LLC
850 Third Avenue, Ste. 412, Brooklyn, NY 11232
Email: purduepharmainfo@primeclerk.com - Phone: 1.844.217.0912

THIS IS ONLY A SUMMARY OF THE INFORMATION.


For more information concerning the Purdue U.S. bankruptcy proceeding,
Frequently Asked Questions, Proof of Claim Forms, examples of personal
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and important documents including the Bar Date Notice, visit
www.PurduePharmaClaims.com, or call 1.844.217.0912. For information
related to the recognition proceedings ongoing in Canada in respect of
Purdue U.S., please visit KWWSVZZZH\FRPFDSXUGXHSKDUPD for
important information and documents.
PurduePharmaClaims.com  1.844.217.0912.
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BIG IDEA

A farming project in Africa is helping


communities grow their own food

Planting the Seed


BY Nicholas Hune-Brown
photograph by kailee mandel

D
ALE BOLTON WAS driving to his founding three different churches in
home in suburban Toronto Ontario. “I was 51. My dad retired at
when he heard the statistic that 53,” says Bolton. He was building a sail-
changed his life. It was 2004 and the boat in their garage, dreaming about
gregarious pastor was listening to a the Caribbean. “But this thing would
lecture about a crisis that was sweep- not leave me alone.”
ing Africa. According to the speaker, That unignorable statistic started the
there were over 34 million orphans on Boltons on a journey that eventually
the continent. “I almost ran into a tree,” led them to create Organics 4 Orphans
says Bolton. The number was stagger- (rebranded last year as Thrive for
ing—the sheer volume of human suf- Good), a not-for-profit that gives com-
fering unimaginable. He couldn’t stop munities the resources and knowledge
thinking about it. to sustainably grow their own crops.
At the time, Bolton wasn’t looking But that mental leap—from orphans
for a new project. He and his wife, to gardens—didn’t happen immedi-
Linda, had spent the previous 20 years ately. First, the couple raised money

10 may 2020
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Dale and Linda


Bolton at home in
Thornhill, Ont.
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for traditional charities, funding Dale and Linda decided to start


orphanages and digging wells. In 2005, small: by funding and training people
they visited those projects in Kenya. to grow modest organic gardens. To
Dale had grown up on a farm near that end, Dale enrolled in an organic
Chatham, Ont., and walking through farming course in Kenya. There, he
Kenyan villages he was amazed to see met Ambrose Mootian, a 25-year-old
that people weren’t growing their own from a Maasai tribe west of Nairobi.
healthy food. The kids were surviving Like Bolton, Mootian was a farmer’s
on a diet of ugali, a kind of cornmeal. son. And like Bolton, he’d come to
believe in the power of small-scale,
organic farming. Together they trav-
THRIVE FOR GOOD elled to Maasai land near the Tanza-
HAS HELPED BUILD nian border to help the community
ORGANIC GARDENS start what they came to call a “life gar-
den.” Locals were skeptical, Mootian
IN MORE THAN 1,000 remembers. “But once they started tast-
COMMUNITIES. ing the food, they were like ‘Wow.’”
After that first project, things moved
quickly. “When we helped one village,
As Bolton spent more time there, three more villages asked for help,” says
digging into sub-Saharan history, he Bolton. The organization went wher-
came to believe that the problem was ever they were wanted—in Kenya and
the way commercial agriculture, with then beyond.
its dependence on fertilizers and pesti- Today, Thrive for Good has 80
cides, had been introduced. Agri- employees and interns, and it has
cultural yields on the continent were helped more than 1,000 communities
significantly lower than in other parts create healthy meals for almost 30,000
of the world, in large part because people. Since 2012, they’ve run a train-
small-scale farmers simply couldn’t ing school in Kitale, where Mootian
afford the rising costs of the fertilizer. is the CEO. “I’m still planting seeds,”
The number of orphans, the lack of he says, describing how trainees from
gardens, the dependence on mass agri- Kenya—as well as 19 other countries
culture—for Bolton, it all suddenly in Africa and beyond—head back home
seemed inextricably connected. The with a newfound knowledge to feed
communities in these villages had the their communities.
desire and capacity to care for their As for the Boltons, a few years ago
children, but malnutrition was ham- they sold the sailboat. The Caribbean
pering parents and caregivers. will wait.

12 may 2020
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High Eggspectations
LIFE’S LIKE THAT My wife claims she
trusts me, yet she will
always inspect a carton
Canine Con of eggs I pick out.
— @SOCIAL_MIME

It’s a problem that the


machine I use to do my
work also has a func-
tion where you can
— THE NEW YORK TIMES ARCHIVES, shared on Twitter by shop for a new duvet
deputy editor Tina Jordan cover for three hours.
— @CAITIEDELANEY
When I was a child, I that was both still green
thought the “adult and rotting brown. She began that day as
drink” was coffee. — ZOE WHITTALL, writer she began all days—
When I became a making, immediately
teenager, I thought the Gmail: Someone has forgetting about, and
“adult drink” was beer. signed into your then remaking the
As an adult, I’ve real- account! same cup of coffee.
ized the “adult drink” Me: Yeah, that was me. — @LIZHACKETT
is, in fact ... water. Gmail: No, it was on
— @ANNABRANDBERG another device! Cop: Is there any reason
Me: Yeah, that was why you were swerving
Page-Turner my tablet. back there?
No one is as glued to Gmail: Someone stole Me: I dropped a curly
any piece of reading your tablet?! fry on the floor.
material as a parent Me: What? No! Cop: And you had to—
counting down the Gmail: Call the police! Me: I had to get it, yeah.
songs in the program — @ARFMEASURES — @THEDREAMGHOUL
for a school concert.
— @COPYMAMA It Took Me 11 Minutes
Send us your original
to Do That Thing I’ve jokes! You could earn $50
Going Bananas Been Avoiding for Three and be featured in the
I just yelled “Get it Months: A Memoir magazine. See page 7 or
together!” at a banana — @KKINGPARSONS rd.ca/joke for details.

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ASK AN EXPERT

How Can I
Avoid Deadly
Viruses?
We ask Jason Tetro, author
of The Germ Files

BY Courtney Shea
illustration by lauren tamaki

Germs are top of mind right now,


thanks to the emergence of the new
coronavirus. How can we avoid
exposing ourselves to it, or similarly
dangerous diseases?
People want to hear there’s something In your own home, you can make
they can do to take extra precautions, sure to clean and disinfect high-use
but the way you can protect yourself surfaces, which are generally in the
from things like coronavirus—now bathroom and the kitchen.
technically called COVID-19—is the Understandably, there has been a
same way that you already should be lot of attention paid to the coronavirus,
protecting yourself from regular flu but keep in mind the regular flu actu-
bugs and other pathogens: wash your ally poses a comparable threat to
hands frequently and avoid contact Canadians. According to Health Can-
with surfaces that are touched by a lot ada, the flu causes about 12,200 hospi-
of people, such as doorknobs, handles talizations and 3,500 deaths in the
and elevator buttons. country each year.

14 may 2020
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What is a coronavirus? As opposed to the germs that don’t?


Coronaviruses are a category of respira- Pathogens make up only about one-
tory viruses that infect a number of tenth of one per cent of the millions of
species, including humans. They come microbes (a.k.a. germs) that humans
in various strains or strengths—some as are exposed to. The rest are benign or
harmless as the common cold, a couple actually helpful.
that can cause pneumonia and then
some that are real killers. In 2003, SARS How are germs good for us?
was the first coronavirus outbreak that Our skin has a barrier made up of various
caused a serious public health threat. microbes that protect us from irritation
Then there was MERS (Middle East and infection. That’s not something
Respiratory Syndrome) in 2012. you want to disrupt with excessive
cleaning. There are also gut bacteria
Some people in Canada have been that help with our digestion.
wearing face masks to protect them-
selves from COVID-19. Is that a
smart precaution? ONLY FIVE PER CENT
I don’t think it’s necessary—unless OF US PROPERLY WASH
there’s an uncontrolled spread of the
virus in your community. Also, for any OUR HANDS AFTER
kind of virus, face masks don’t provide USING THE TOILET.
any protection that you can’t get from
a scarf and making sure people around
you sneeze into their sleeves. Overall, exposure to an array of
germs is beneficial for developing a
What about using hand sanitizer strong immune system and good gen-
when outbreaks occur? eral health. An allergy, for instance, is
Hand sanitizer is good if you don’t have the body mistaking a friendly germ for
access to a sink, but otherwise, soap and a dangerous one because it’s not famil-
water is the best option. iar with it. More kids have allergies
A lot of people don’t wash their today than ever because they’re raised
hands for long enough. We say you in urban environments where there
should scrub for about 20 seconds, or isn’t a lot of germ diversity.
the length of singing “Happy Birthday”
twice. I’ve seen reports that as few as So parents should let their kids spend
five per cent of people properly wash more time rolling around in the dirt?
their hands, even though it’ll get rid of Sure! I always say let your kids eat dirt
the germs that make us sick. unless it’s in the dog park.

rd.ca 15
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reader’s digest

1 Go scent-free. A 2011
study found that fra-
granced products cause

13 THINGS
dryer vents to emit
seven compounds that
contain hazardous air
pollutants and two that

What You are carcinogenic.

Should Know 2 Even “unscented”


brands may not be

About Laundry what they purport to be.


“Unscented detergents
can still contain fra-
grances to mask chem-
BY Anna-Kaisa Walker
ical smells,” says Lindsay
illustration by clayton hanmer
Coulter, the David
Suzuki Foundation’s
green-living expert.

3 If you want to avoid


mystery ingredients,
make your own deter-
gent. The David Suzuki
Foundation recom-
mends using ½ cup per
load of a mixture of two
teaspoons of salt, two
tablespoons of baking
soda, two tablespoons of
liquid Castile soap and
one litre of hot water.

4 Don’t scent home-


made detergent
with essential oils.
“Some dryers heat up
to about 57 C, which is

16 may 2020
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above the flashpoint for


some essential oils,” says
Michael Papeo, captain
8 Using more deter-
gent won’t make
clothes cleaner. Over
wash all your socks in
a mesh bag to prevent
disappearances.
of public education, time, excess detergent
East Command, for
Toronto Fire Services.
can build up and cause
smelly residue inside
your machine. Use the
11 There’s no getting
around washing
jeans. Some people

5 If your towels are


musty, add a cup of
white vinegar or a cup
least amount of deter-
gent possible—start
with half the recom-
swear that storing their
denim in the freezer
kills germs, but that’s
of baking soda to your mended amount, and if a myth—the bacteria
wash load (but not both your clothes still come only go dormant.
at once). out clean, you can try

6 Your fleece jacket


reducing even further.
12 Up to 75 per cent
of the energy used
made from recycled
bottles likely contains
microfibres—pollutants
9 Lint buildup in the
filter and vents is a
primary cause of the
for washing clothes
goes toward heating the
water. Your clothes will
that account for 35 per dozens of fires started get just as clean in a
cent of microplastics by dryers every year in cold-water wash and
in the world’s oceans. Toronto, says Papeo. they’ll last longer—
“With every wash, your “Empty your lint tray lower temperatures
garments are shedding before every load and preserve dyes and
microfibres that end vacuum the filter and reduce shrinkage.
up in waterways and inside the trap from
eventually in the food
chain,” says Coulter.
time to time.”
13 Switching to a
high-efficiency,
Special fibre-trapping
bags can help keep
them out of the drain.
10 The real “sock
monster” respon-
sible for your missing
Energy Star–certified
machine not only saves
you up to 25 per cent
hosiery? Your washing on your hydro bills, it’s

7 Instead of using
chlorine bleach, dis-
infect your clothes by line
machine. Small items
can slip past the rubber
gasket on a front-loading
better for the planet.
On an annual basis, a
full-sized Energy Star
drying. Sunlight’s ultra- washer, and get trapped machine can save more
violet rays are effective underneath the drum. than 7,500 litres of
at killing bacteria in fab- If you’re suspicious, get water compared to old-
rics. Bonus: they’re free. a pro to investigate, and school washers.

rd.ca 17
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reader’s digest

POINTS TO PONDER

PHOTOS: (IRVING) AUAD/ALAMY STOCK PHOTO; (QAQQAQ) NDP; (REITMAN) SHUTTERSTOCK/SHAWN GOLDBERG; (ALI) ANDREA STENSON; (SMITH) NETFLIX.
BY Christina Palassio

At my age, SINCE CHRIS


[HYNDMAN]’S PASSING,
ending up here I’VE BEEN IN THE
STUDIO A LOT. IT’S MY
is a love story. SAFE PLACE AND IT’S
MY THERAPY.
–Novelist John Irving, TO THE
TORONTO STAR, ON BECOMING A –Designer Steven Sabados,
CANADIAN CITIZEN IN THE GLOBE AND MAIL

I’m passionate and I know what I’m


talking about. [Youth] doesn’t mean
I have less capability to do something.
It’s not something that is a factor to me.
–NDP MP Mumilaaq Qaqqaq, TO CBC NEWS

My last two Google searches were “ugly feet” and “Emilio Estevez”
and that’s really all you need to know about me.
–Jessi Cruickshank, ON TWITTER

Being an actor generally sucks. There’s a concern,


especially as a woman, about how long [your
career] will last. For me, the only way to get out of
it and find a little control in my life was to write.
–Workin’ Moms creator and star Catherine Reitman, TO CAA MAGAZINE

18 may 2020
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QUOTES: (IRVING) DEC. 13, 2019; (SABADOS) JAN. 2, 2020; (QAQQAQ) OCT. 23, 2019; (CRUICKSHANK) SEPT. 18, 2019; (REITMAN) DEC. 14, 2018; (ALI) JULY 24,

If you write from a place of respect


for young people, I think young
people feel it, see it and receive it.
–Young adult novelist S. K. Ali, TO CBC BOOKS

JUST WROTE “I DARE I was beaten [for being] a Jew in


two countries, and I learned the
YOU TO ANSWER two most important skills that
ALL YOUR EMAILS” served me best in life. I learned to
2019; (SMITH) DEC. 10, 2019; (LANTOS) DEC. 24, 2019; (McCOLL) NOV. 26, 2019; (WORKMAN) NOV. 13, 2019.

ON MY TO-DO LIST fight, and I learned to run. I also


learned a third skill, which was
BECAUSE I’VE when to do which.
FINALLY FIGURED –Film producer Robert Lantos, IN ZOOMER
OUT WHAT I’M LIKE
AND HOW TO The morning after I qualified,
MAKE IT WORK. I somewhat expected to wake up
–Comedian DeAnne Smith, ON TWITTER and find the last three or four
years were a dream.
–Sean McColl, PROFESSIONAL SPORT CLIMBER,
ON MAKING IT INTO THE SUMMER OLYMPIC GAMES
TO CBC SPORTS

The young, disastrous rock star


was a role that I was happy to
play for a time. But now I like
being brilliant at what I do, and
having an affinity for what I do
without the booze and the weed.
–Musician Hawksley Workman,
IN THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT

rd.ca 19
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reader’s digest

HEALTH

W
INTER IS OVER and the cold
weather is mostly behind
us. But if your fingers are
still feeling chilly, you’re not alone.
Many people get cold hands year-
round, due to a number of causes,
from genetics—the tendency runs in
families—to chronic illnesses.
Common benign reasons you might
experience this discomfort include
being elderly (more likely to have a
slower metabolism) and being thin
(less muscle and fat for insulation). For
some people, lifestyle changes can
help: avoiding nicotine and caffeine,
which constrict your blood vessels, and
In Cold Blood getting regular exercise to improve cir-
culation. For an instant fix, try jumping
Why do some people in place, shaking your hands or simply
bundling up in warmer clothing.
always have chilly hands,
ISTOCK.COM/PLAINVIEW

If your hands are regularly cold or


even when it’s warm? numb, however, it’s a good idea to see
a doctor to rule out more serious
causes. Cold hands are one of the
BY Vanessa Milne symptoms of both anemia and hypo-
thyroidism. Diabetes, which reduces

20 may 2020
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blood circulation, can also trigger it. develop Raynaud’s when you’re older—
And if your heart is weak from heart usually after 40—it can be a sign of
disease, your body may prioritize send- another underlying issue. That could be
ing blood to your core over your limbs. a smaller problem—a previous incident
For many others, cold hands are a sign of frostbite, the onset of carpal tunnel
they have a largely harmless condition syndrome or a side effect from drugs
called Raynaud’s disease. When any of like beta blockers or some migraine
us goes out in the cold, our bodies acti- medications—or a sign of a more ser-
vate the muscles in our smallest blood ious autoimmune condition, like lupus.
vessels to make them even smaller—a
survival mechanism to keep blood, and ONLY
10%
thus warmer temperatures, in our core.
For people with Raynaud’s, this reac-
tion is too strong, and instead of just a
bit less blood going to their fingers, far OF PEOPLE WITH
too little gets there. RAYNAUD’S DISEASE
Named after Maurice Raynaud, the SEEK TREATMENT.
French doctor who first discovered
the condition in the mid-1800s, Ray-
naud’s disease is surprisingly common. A rare, more severe form of Raynaud’s
Dr. John Osborne, director of State of affects less than one in 1,000 people. In
the Heart Cardiology in Dallas, Texas, these cases, blood can become com-
says it affects between four and 20 per pletely blocked, causing sores on the
cent of people around the world. hands. If they go untreated, it can lead
One notable characteristic of the dis- to gangrene and, very rarely, amputa-
ease is fingers changing colour. “They tion. Thankfully, there are effective
call it the French flag,” says Osborne. medications for these cases that help
“The fingers turn white because there’s increase blood flow—including losar-
no blood flow, then blue due to lack tan, usually used for high blood pres-
of oxygen and then red as the blood sure, and sildenafil, often prescribed for
comes back into the fingers.” The onset erectile dysfunction. Topical options,
of symptoms can be due to cold win- like nitroglycerin cream, which improves
ter air, overly air-conditioned spaces blood flow, may also help.
in the summer or even just grabbing a For the majority of people living
bag of frozen peas at the grocery store. with Raynaud’s, however, medication
Raynaud’s is more common in won’t be necessary. “For them, it’ll be
women, and it most often develops more annoying than anything else,”
before the age of 30. In fact, if you says Osborne.

rd.ca 21
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reader’s digest

Testing for Radon?


News from the Do It for at Least
WORLD OF Three Months

MEDICINE It’s odourless, invisible


and carcinogenic.
Radon gas, which
BY Samantha Rideout escapes naturally from
certain minerals in the
ground, dilutes to levels
that are irrelevant in
terms of health risk in
outside air. But it can
accumulate danger-
ously inside a building.
In fact, it’s responsible
for three to 14 per cent
of lung cancers in any
given country. That’s
why health authorities
recommend checking
how much radon expo-
ALTRUISM MAY EASE sure you’re getting in
PHYSICAL PAIN your home at least
once. For the most
Selflessly helping others changes your brain activ- accurate result, take a
ity and alleviates your experience of pain, suggests longer-term measure-
a series of experiments in China. In one, people ment. When Aaron
giving blood to earthquake victims found the needle Goodarzi, a University
less painful than people getting blood tests. In of Calgary scholar, and
another, subjects who volunteered to help migrant his colleagues com-
children found that immersing their hand in cold pared 90-day test kits
water was less uncomfortable than those who to five-day test kits, the
declined. And cancer patients who cleaned up for short-term kits’ read-
others reported less pain than patients who merely ings were frequently
NICK FERRARI

cleaned their own spaces. Researchers posit that unreliable because


altruism may temper unpleasant experiences by radon levels fluctuate
giving you a sense of reward, control and meaning. from day to day.

22 may 2020
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Domestic Abuse How to Interest


Is a Risk Factor Kids in Fruits
for Chronic and Veggies
Health Issues
Media exposure can
The causes of fibro- help familiarize kids
myalgia and chronic with nutritious foods,
fatigue syndrome— ASA for Migraines: which is part of setting
conditions that can Affordable and them up for healthy
involve pain and Effective teeth, body weight,
extreme exhaustion— growth, development
are poorly understood. Several prescription and beneficial lifelong
But both conditions drugs are available for habits. In a British
have been linked to migraine relief, but sim- study from 2018, read-
excessive stress, which ply using acetylsalicylic ing picture books about
might explain why a acid (ASA) is a good particular fruits and
study from the Univer- option, according to a vegetables to toddlers
sity of Birmingham review in The American helped them to eat and
found that women who Journal of Medicine. The enjoy those foods. And
have experienced evidence so far suggests recently, school-aged
intimate-partner vio- that taking a high dose children in the Nether-
(WOMAN) ISTOCK.COM/DRBIMAGES; (TABLETS) ISTOCK.COM/FLOORTJE

lence are nearly twice (900 to 1,300 milligrams) lands were more likely
as likely to develop one when symptoms begin to choose an apple or
of these syndromes as can relieve migraines, cucumbers over chips
women who have not. while a low daily dose or pretzels if they had
Discovering this risk (81 to 325 milligrams) watched a kids’ cooking
factor could aid with a can help prevent them show featuring healthy
diagnosis. “It’s hard to from recurring. ASA is dishes rather than an
talk about,” says lead cheaper and more easily episode that featured
author Joht Singh Chan- accessible than the pre- junk food. Children’s
dan, “but we recom- scription medications, preferences around
mend that where appro- and some patients food are also influenced
priate, doctors should experience fewer side by their parents’ exam-
not be afraid to ask.” effects. However, a doc- ple, of course, and by
tor should supervise helping prepare meals.
any drug you’re taking
for the long term—even
over-the-counter ones.

rd.ca 23
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reader’s digest

The Fast-Acting Benefits of Cleaner Air Sudden Hearing


Loss: Don’t Delay
Air pollution affects nearly everyone in the world. Going to the Doctor
Children, seniors and lower-income people (who
often live in places with poorer air quality) tend to It’s not unusual for
suffer the most. Although it’s hardly news that reduc- hearing to decline grad-
ing air contamination improves public health, the ually with age. But if
size and speed of those improvements can be sur- you notice a change in
prisingly dramatic. Analysts based in Germany, one ear over less than
Korea, South Africa and elsewhere recently three days, get it
reviewed what’s happened in cases where pollu- checked as soon as pos-
tion has decreased. sible. It could be some-
For instance, when Atlanta hosted the 1996 Olym- thing temporary, such
pic Games, parts of the city were closed to private as an earwax buildup,
cars for 17 days, and 24-hour public transportation but there’s a chance it’s
was made available instead. The goal was to help sudden sensorineural
athletes and spectators get to events on time, but the hearing loss, which can
air quality improved during that period, as well. In become permanent.
the next four weeks, kids’ medical visits for asthma “Sensorineural” means
decreased by over 40 per cent. A similar effect was that something has
recorded during the 2008 Beijing Olympics. gone wrong with the
Another example: in 1990, Hong Kong passed inner ear, and it occurs
stricter regulations for the content of fuel oil used most among people in
for power plants and cars. The annual rates of their 50s and 60s. Many
respiratory and cardiovascular deaths then cases don’t have a clear
dropped by two and four per cent, respectively. cause but can be treated
Overall life expectancy lengthened. with steroids. “The ear-
The economic benefits lier a treatment is begun,
of an air-quality interven- the better your chances
tion usually outweigh the that your hearing comes
costs, the authors said, back,” says a newly
ISTOCK.COM/ SHARPLY_DONE

whether it’s banning public updated guideline from


smoking, reducing traffic, the American Academy
expanding green spaces or of Otolaryngology–
generating clean energy. Head and Neck Surgery
“Air pollution is largely an Foundation.
avoidable health risk,” they
emphasized.

24 may 2020
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reader’s digest

HEALTH

WHAT’S WRONG
WITH ME?
BY Lisa Bendall
illustration by victor wong

THE PATIENT: Jeff*, a 36-year-old high muscle mass and most mornings felt
school teacher so tired that he had difficulty getting
THE SYMPTOMS: Recurring fevers and out of bed. He also couldn’t concen-
delirium trate at work. “Somebody would say
THE DOCTOR: Dr. Volodko Bakowsky, something to me, and two minutes
rheumatologist at QEII Health Sciences later I couldn’t remember it.”
Centre, Halifax These episodes were manageable
until June 2007, when one of Jeff ’s

I
N HIS LATE 20S, Jeff, a Halifax high fevers was accompanied by hallucina-
school teacher, began catching nasty tions. “I was seeing bees, and water
flus or lung infections several times poured out of the ceiling,” he recalls.
a year, and often ran high fevers. “I just He stumbled into his physician’s office,
didn’t seem to have my usual immune leaning on his wife for support, and
response, and I wasn’t bouncing back,” was advised to go to the hospital.
he says. By his mid-30s, he had lost Tests in the ICU didn’t reveal much.
The doctors suggested Jeff had a brain
*IDENTIFYING DETAILS HAVE BEEN CHANGED. infection from an unknown source.

26 may 2020
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Jeff recovered after a few days and During a thorough physical exam,
was able to return home, but the hal- Bakowsky noticed slight reductions in
lucinations came back five months Jeff’s skin elasticity and joint flexibility.
later, while he was making breakfast. Then, because Jeff had mentioned sinus
He didn’t feel particularly unwell but trouble, the doctor checked Jeff’s ears—
he suddenly stopped, stared into the not something he always includes in an
frying pan, and asked his wife: “Do you exam—and was dumbfounded. “His
see a chimpanzee face in the pan- ears were solid bone,” says Bakowsky. “I
cake?” (She didn’t.) Jeff was hospital- was shocked. I’d never seen that before.”
ized for a week. Jeff had noticed his ears were sore
Doctors now theorized that his brain when he slept on his side, as though his
wasn’t infected, but rather was react- pillow was too hard, but he had no idea
ing to the recurrent fevers. Some- that bone was gradually forming in
times, when people are older or in place of the cartilage that is normally
poor health, they become delirious just under the skin of the outer ears.
when they get sick because their fragile
brains can’t handle the extra burden.
Delirium is unusual in younger people, WHEN JEFF’S DOCTOR
however, and can sometimes signify an EXAMINED HIS EARS,
underlying life-threatening condition. HE WAS SHOCKED TO
One specialist suggested that Jeff
may have a rare genetic condition DISCOVER THEY WERE
called TRAPS disease that causes the SOLID BONE.
immune system to behave as though
an infection is present, triggering fre-
quent fevers. Jeff was referred to a Bakowsky took a few days to research
rheumatologist, Dr. Volodko Bakow- the strange collection of symptoms.
sky, for investigation. “For each of the problems, you gen-
Bakowsky’s first impression of his erate a list of possibilities, and then
new patient wasn’t a good one. Jeff where something intersects, maybe
arrived late after oversleeping. “I had it’s the diagnosis.” He adds that older
set aside extra time for him. I was people might have several medical
steaming!” says the doctor. Now, he conditions at once, but it’s different for
laughs at the memory. “Sometimes people around Jeff’s age. “When you’re
there are clues that you don’t realize younger, it’s more likely one thing
are clues at the time. The fact that he causing multiple symptoms.”
was late for his appointment was one Most known causes of bony ears
of the presenting symptoms.” relate to the endocrine system, which

rd.ca 27
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reader’s digest

produces hormones, so Bakowsky Jeff saw considered it. “He flew under
ordered blood work to check Jeff ’s the radar,” says Bakowsky.
levels. Finally, he made an important The lack of cortisol explained every
discovery: “His cortisol level was van- symptom. Furthermore, whenever Jeff
ishingly low. When that came back was exposed to a germ that most people
I thought, ‘We’ve got the answer!’” could have handled easily, he became
severely ill because his body couldn’t
manage the additional stress.
THE CAUSE OF JEFF’S Jeff was able to replace his cortisol
LOW CORTISOL WAS with an inexpensive pill, which he
VERY RARE. “HE FLEW started taking immediately. “Within a
day, I felt like a million bucks,” he says.
UNDER THE RADAR,” “I’ve been healthy ever since.”
SAYS HIS DOCTOR. After his recovery, Jeff was inspired
to help out the hospital that turned his
life around. Whenever he was visiting
Cortisol is a hormone made by the for a follow-up, he’d set aside time for
adrenal gland to respond to stress. With- medical students to examine his ears
out it, the body struggles to manage (the bony changes are permanent).
infections or illnesses—it can’t control And about three years ago, Bakow-
inflammation, for instance. (It’s not sky selected Jeff’s case for discussion
known why its absence can also turn at a conference at Halifax’s Dalhousie
ear cartilage to bone.) University. Often, the patients whose
Further tests revealed the cause to cases are analyzed at these events are
be a disorder in Jeff’s hypothalamus, no longer alive—but on this occasion,
the part of the brain that stimulates the Jeff was in the audience, and even
adrenal gland. It’s such a rare cause of stood up to say a few words. “His was
low cortisol that none of the doctors a happy ending,” says Bakowsky.

Screen Time
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set,
I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX

Something’s wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the
Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman.
BRUCE BAUM, COMEDIAN

28 may 2020
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“Now I can get a secure fit


that no one notices.
Even in a skirt like this.”

MBLE
SE
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AS

A†

N
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Depend® Always® Discreet CANA


I

Silhouette Boutique™

Always Discreet Boutique. Secure protection. Better fit.*


*vs. Depend Silhouette Small/Medium. Depend Silhouette is a trademark of Kimberly-Clark Worldwide.
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reader’s digest
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COVER STORY

BOOST
YO U R
BR AIN
P OWE R
BY Vanessa Milne
photo illustration by c.j. burton

rd.ca 31
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reader’s digest

THANKS TO modern advance-


ments in brain imaging, scientists
now know we have the power to
shape our minds—literally.
London cab drivers, who spend
years memorizing city streets,
have expanded hippocampi, the
brain’s memory motor. Meanwhile,
violinists’ brains contain more
grey matter in the part connected
(SALMON) ISTOCK.COM/ANDREY ELKIN; (BERRIES) ISTOCK.COM/ANGIEPHOTOS; (FRIES) ISTOCK.COM/LAURI PATTERSON

to the hand that manipulates the


strings than the one that simply
holds the bow.
And it isn't just people who've
(PLATE) ISTOCK.COM/SURADECH14; (KALE) ISTOCK.COM/FLOORTJE; (NUTS) ISTOCK.COM/BARCIN;

mastered a skill who experience


such brain changes. According to
Harvard researchers, people who
practised 45 minutes of medita-
tion every day for two months
exhibited decreased grey matter
in their amygdala, the area related
to anxiety and stress. Even some-
thing as basic as getting regular
exercise shores up our brain’s
memory centre.
These kinds of changes can
happen at any age. In fact, the
minds of people who make brain-
healthy choices can function as if
they were 10 years younger—and
those habits can contribute sig-
nificantly to preventing dementia.
Now that we know our genes,
and our age, don’t have to deter-
mine the strength of our brain,
what can you do to boost yours?

32 may 2020
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EAT MORE BRAIN FOOD AVOID SALT


AND FATS
While there isn’t a miracle food or
supplement that can instantly make “What’s good
you smarter, changing your eating for the heart is
patterns can definitely affect your brain good for the
health. Here’s what to put on your plate: brain,” says Guylaine
Ferland, a professor
Leafy green vegetables—think spinach, kale in the department of
and arugula—are rich in brain-boosting folate, nutrition at the Univer-
antioxidants and vitamin K. A study from Chi- sity of Montreal. That’s
cago’s Rush University Medical Center found because a healthy
that eating just one serving of these a day is ticker sends blood—
enough to preserve your current cognitive and oxygen—to the
function—and people who ate more had a brain. So when it
brain as strong as those 11 years younger. comes to consuming
high-fat foods like red
Nuts, particularly tree nuts like almonds and meat, cheese and any-
walnuts, are a good source of omega-3s. Those thing fried, modera-
unsaturated fatty acids help provide the build- tion is key. Also, since
ing blocks for new brain cells and are thought high blood pressure
to reduce inflammation, which is linked to and weight gain are
memory loss. Nuts are also rich in vitamin E risk factors for cogni-
and niacin—both brain-saving minerals. tive decline, it’s best to
avoid eating too many
Fish—especially salmon, trout and sardines— high-sodium or highly
is another excellent source of omega-3s. processed foods, like
sugary drinks, frozen
Berries appear to slow cognitive decline. desserts and fast food.
According to a 2012 Harvard analysis of the
Nurses’ Health Study, women who ate two
or more servings a week of strawberries
and blueberries had brains that appeared
2.5 years younger than those who didn’t.
Researchers think that’s because berries are
a good source of flavonoids—natural anti-
oxidants and anti-inflammatory chemicals
that help relax your blood vessels.
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reader’s digest

GET MORE EXERCISE


Your brain is made up of about
100 billion neurons—the cells
that transmit information
throughout your body—and exercise
is key for creating a fertile environment
for them. As physical activity increases
the flow of blood and oxygen to your
brain, your body releases special pro-
teins called neurotrophic factors that
help neurons grow and live longer.
A 2012 University of British Colum- FIND TIME FOR
bia study reported even more specific RELAXATION
benefits: aerobic exercise, researchers
found, expands the area of your brain When your body believes
related to memory and learning. you’re in danger—whether
Regular physical activity also lowers that’s from a true threat,
your risk of developing dementia, espe- like a near-miss collision, or a

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cially if you start doing it in your 40s or false one, like a fear-mongering
50s. “Midlife is a critical window for pro- clickbait headline—the amygdala
moting your brain health, because so area of your brain activates your
many of our chronic conditions start fight-or-flight response. This was
then,” says Teresa Liu-Ambrose, Canada useful for our ancient ancestors
Research Chair and director of the when they needed a boost of cor-
Aging, Mobility, and Cognitive Neuro- tisol to escape a predator, and it
science Laboratory at UBC. can still be handy today to avoid
In fact, establishing a workout rou- an accident. But an overuse of the
tine before you're 55 reduces the risk fight-or-flight pathways in your
of developing dementia by 30 per cent, brain can make them easier to
and of developing Alzheimer’s disease trigger—sending you into a state
by 45 per cent. (But it’s never too late! of anxiety over smaller matters.
People as old as 80 still see cognitive The good news is, it also works
gains when they start exercising.) the other way. Spending more
time in a relaxed, loving state of
mind makes those positive emo-
tions easier to access as well. The
brains of people who regularly
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practise meditation have more MEDITATE FOR TWO


density in areas related to mem- MINUTES EVERY DAY
ory, sense of self and empathy.
And their amygdalae are less Starting a new meditation rou-
dense, too. “Mindfulness medita- tine can seem daunting, but
tion reduces not only the stress in Mindset Brain Gym’s Sean Fin-
the moment, but the threshold of nell has a mindfulness exercise that can
what stresses you out in general,” be done on the subway or at the office—
says Sean Finnell, co-founder of anywhere you can go internal for at
Toronto’s Mindset Brain Gym. least a couple of minutes.

23%
1. Close your eyes and bring your full
attention to the sensation of your
breath going in and out of your nose.

2. When you find you’re thinking about


of Canadians something other than your breath—
over 15 find most which happens to even the most vet-
days stressful eran meditators—don’t try to ignore it.
Instead, just notice the thought. “With
Meditation isn’t the only way meditation, we realize that we are not
to calm the mind, of course. our thoughts, we are just observing our
“There are a lot of different roads thoughts. So instead of ‘I am anxious
to this,” says Daniel Levitin, a right now,’ it’s ‘anxiety is coming up
neuroscientist and the author of right now,’” explains Finnell.
Successful Aging. He says people
who socialize more, nurture their 3. Label your thoughts. “Give the
hobbies and participate in activi- thought a category, like a hashtag:
ties that are meaningful to them, that’s work, that’s family.”
like volunteering, are all less
likely to be stressed. For those 4. Return your attention to your breath
with chronic anxiety, therapy to bring yourself back to the present
ISTOCK.COM/PIXHOOK

can be useful as well. moment. Repeat until your time is up.


Overall, spending more
time in a relaxed state can help
“rewire the brain for a slower
pace and a more focused
energy,” says Levitin.

rd.ca 35
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reader’s digest

OPTIMIZE you rise, open your blinds so the sun


YOUR SLEEP can kick-start your circadian rhythm,
the inner clock that regulates your level
According to Statistics Can- of wakefulness throughout the day and
ada, more than one third of night. Limit naps to 30 minutes a day.
Canadians are chronically
sleep deprived—and that's bad news What are you consuming?
for our brains, which perform worse Avoid caffeine after lunch. And while
after even a single night of inadequate drinking alcohol before bedtime can
rest. Sleep not only cleans the brain of help put you to sleep, it increases the
unneeded by-products from its daily chance you’ll wake up in the middle of
functioning, it’s also crucial for encod- the night. That’s because it increases
ing new impressions and knowledge the production of a chemical called
into your long-term memory. adenosine, which makes you groggy—
In a University of California San but only temporarily. When the ade-
Diego study, researchers found that nosine wears off, you wake up.
well-rested participants remembered
twice as many new vocabulary words Do you make time for shutting down?
as those who didn’t get enough sleep. Two hours before bedtime, stop using
And when it comes to our motor screens—the blue light they emit can
skills, they drop in speed by 20 per confuse your body, causing it to pro-
cent when we've underslept. duce less melatonin, a hormone that
If you’re having a difficult time get- makes us sleepy. Instead, create a
ting the recommended seven to nine relaxing ritual to end your day, like
hours of shut-eye a night, doctors rec- reading or having a shower.
ommend assessing your sleep habits.
Is your room conducive to sleep?
Are you keeping to a schedule? Channel your ancient ancestors by
Go to bed and wake up at the same time thinking of your bedroom as a cave.
every day, even on weekends. When It should be cool, dark and quiet.
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DOWNLOAD Cognifit
THESE APPS This app offers fun brain
games that help boost a
Our brains need challenging dozen skills, including concentra-
tasks to stay sharp. And thank- tion, memory, reasoning and coordi-
fully, there’s an app for that— nation. (It even promises to help you
many, actually. Alvaro Fernandez, become a better driver!) Additionally,
CEO of market-research firm Sharp- Cognifit features tailored regimens
Brains, suggests trying ones other for specific conditions, including
than the games you usually play. “If Parkinson’s, “chemo brain,” depres-
you’re doing something that brings sion and ADHD.
novelty, variety and a level of effort,
you’re on the right path.” Calm
Here are three apps to get your True to its name, Calm con-
brain going—and three more to tains breathing exercises,
help it gear back down. three- to 25-minute guided medita-
tion sessions and stories designed to
BrainHQ help you fall asleep. Actor Matthew
This app serves up short McConaughey voices one such tale,
tests to identify your weak called "Wonder."
spots—be it attention, memory or
brain speed—and then offers suitable Headspace
games to help you improve. Studies This app has hundreds of
have shown users have the memory guided meditations for every
of a person 10 years younger, and need: two-minute mini-sits, SOS ses-
have an easier time following a con- sions for moments of serious stress
versation in a crowded room. and versions for walks. For the end of
the day, Headspace offers 45-minute
Lumosity podcasts that use calming visualiza-
Launched in 2007, this popu- tions and sounds to help you nod off.
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lar app with over 100 million


users offers dozens of games and puz- 10% Happier
zles that focus on different brain skills. Inspired by ABC news anchor
Completing tangram puzzles will help Dan Harris’ bestselling book,
build your problem-solving abilities, this app includes more than 500 guided
matching games boost memory, and meditations, as well as short videos to
re-ordering numbers hones your keep you motivated—and the option
mastery of math. to text with a coach.

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DRAMA IN REAL LIFE

Before I adopted
Dyngo, he spent
nine months
sniffing bombs
and saving lives
in Afghanistan.
Could I help him
settle back into
civilian life?

BY Rebecca Frankel
FROM SMITHSONIAN
photograph by susana raab
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reader’s digest

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reader’s digest

I
t was late—an indistinguish- from the bathroom, it was like step-
able, bleary-eyed hour. In front ping into a henhouse massacre. Feath-
of me was a large dog, snapping ers floated in the air. Fresh rips ran
his jaws so hard that his teeth through the white sheets. In the mid-
gave a loud clack with each dle of the bed was Dyngo, panting over
bark. His eyes were locked on a pile of shredded pillows. Through-
me, desperate for the toy I was out the morning, his rough play left
holding in my hand. But he scratches where his teeth had broken
wasn’t playing—he was freaking out. the skin through my jeans.
As I cautiously held my ground, his On the flight home, Dyngo was
bark morphed from a yelp to a shout. allowed to sit at my feet in the roomy
Then he gave a rumbling growl. That first row, but he soon had bouts of vom-
was when my unease gave way to some- iting in between his attempts to shred
thing far more primal: fear. the Harry Potter blanket I’d brought.
This was no ordinary dog. Dyngo, a The pilot announced Dyngo’s military
10-year-old, had been trained to pro- status, inspiring applause from the
pel his 40-kilogram body toward insur- whole cabin. When we reached my
gents, locking his jaws around them. apartment, we both collapsed from
He’d served three tours in Afghanistan, exhaustion. It would be our last bit of
weathering grenade blasts and fire- shared peace for many months.
fights. This dog had saved thousands
of lives. Now he was in my apartment i met dyngo in 2012 at Lackland Air
in Washington, D.C. Just 72 hours ear- Force Base in San Antonio, Tex. I was
lier, I had travelled across the country working on a book, War Dogs: Tales of
to retrieve Dyngo from Luke Air Force Canine Heroism, History and Love, and
Base near Phoenix, Ariz., so he could had heard about how Dyngo had saved
live out his remaining years with me in many lives in Afghanistan. His bravery
civilian retirement. had earned him and his handler, Staff
That first night, May 9, 2016, after we’d Sgt. Justin Kitts, a Bronze Star.
settled into my hotel room, Dyngo sat In early 2011, Kitts and Dyngo
on the bed waiting for me. When I got boarded a helicopter on their way to a
under the covers, he stretched across remote outpost in Afghanistan. Dyngo
the blanket, his weight heavy and com- wore a wide choke chain and a vest
forting against my side. As I drifted off that said “MWD Police K-9” to indicate
to sleep, I felt his body twitch, and I that he was a military working dog.
smiled: Dyngo is a dog who dreams. The plan for the day was familiar. The
The next morning, I gave him a toy platoon from the U.S. Army’s 101st Air-
and went to shower. When I emerged borne Division would make its way on

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foot to nearby villages, connecting with flying past them at close range. Just feet
community elders to find out whether from where they were sitting, an explo-
Taliban operatives were planting impro- sion shook the ground. Dyngo whim-
vised explosive devices (IEDs) in the pered and whined, his thick tail tucked
area. Kitts and Dyngo walked in front to between his legs. The grenade explosion
clear the road ahead. After six months had registered much deeper and louder
of these scouting missions, Kitts trusted to his canine ears. Knowing he had to
that Dyngo would keep him safe. distract Dyngo, Kitts grabbed a twig,
They were on a path in a field a little and both dog and handler engaged in
more than a kilometre outside the out- a manic tug-of-war until Dyngo relaxed.
post when Dyngo’s ears perked up, his Then Kitts dropped the branch and
tail stiffened and his sniffing intensi- returned fire over the wall.
fied. It wasn’t a full alert, but Kitts knew It turned out that Dyngo’s nose had
Dyngo well enough to know he’d picked been spot-on. There were IEDs buried
up the odour of an IED. He signalled in both places. The insurgents had
the platoon leader. “There’s something planned to trap the unit in the grape
over there, or there’s not,” Kitts said. field and attack them there.
“But my dog is showing me enough. We Altogether, during their nine months
should not continue going that way.” in Afghanistan, Kitts and Dyngo spent
The rest of the soldiers took cover more than 1,000 hours patrolling. They
while Kitts walked Dyngo
to the other end of the path
Air Force staff sergeant Justin Kitts and
to clear a secure route out. Dyngo on duty in Afghanistan.
They’d gone barely 300 yards
when Kitts saw Dyngo’s nose
start to work faster. His ears
perked and his tail stopped.
COURTESY JUSTIN KITTS/LUKE AIR FORCE BASE

He was on odour again. If


Dyngo was right, there were
two bombs: one obstructing
each path out of the field.
They were trapped. Then the
gunfire started. Kitts grabbed
Dyngo and pulled him down
to the ground, his back
against a mud wall. The next
thing Kitts heard was a whis-
tling sound, high and fast,

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reader’s digest

discovered more than 165


kilograms of explosives and
were credited with keeping
at least 30,000 U.S., Afghan
and coalition forces safe.

the united states has


deployed thousands of dogs
to combat zones. Depend-
ing on the war, their tours
have lasted months to years.
When it’s time for war dogs
to retire, the law specifies
they be released into the
care of their former han- Rebecca Frankel formed a bond with Dyngo in 2012
dlers, if possible. The sec- while researching a book about war dogs.
ond option is “other per-
sons capable of humanely
caring for these dogs” and the third is whether I would consider taking Dyngo
law-enforcement agencies. when he was set to retire.
According to Douglas Miller, the for- For me, adopting Dyngo would mean
mer manager of the U.S. Department of adopting new schedules, responsibili-
Defense Military Working Dog program, ties and costs, including a move to a
retired war dogs are in higher demand larger, more expensive, dog-friendly
than they were a decade ago. “When I apartment. The list of reasons to say
first took this job, in 2009, there were no was inarguably long. Even so, over
about 150 people on the list,” he says. time, that little feeling tugged harder.
“That has now grown to about 1,200.” I weighed all the pros and cons and
But not every civilian anticipates the then disregarded the cons.
adjustments the dogs will have to make.
When we met, Kitts told me he’d “you sound scared.”
always hoped he could bring Dyngo I’d called Kitts as soon as I heard
SUSANNA RAAB/INSTITUTE

home, but his daughter was allergic to Dyngo growl. He counselled me


dogs. He said he was impressed with through that first night back in D.C.,
how much Dyngo, usually stoical and intuited that Dyngo needed a
around new people, seemed to like crate to feel safe. My friend Claire had
me. When Dyngo laid his head in my a spare one and helped me put it
lap, I felt the tug of love. Kitts asked together. We’d barely had the door in

42 may 2020
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place before Dyngo launched himself I don’t remember when I started to


inside, his relief palpable and pitiable. sing to him, but under the street lamps
The next day, and during the rest of on our late-night walks, I began a quiet
the first week, I had one objective: to serenade of verses from Simon and
wear Dyngo out. I chose the most ardu- Garfunkel or Peter, Paul and Mary. I
ous walking routes, the steepest leaf- have no idea whether anyone else ever
strewn trails. The pace was punishing. heard me. In my mind, there was only
Other challenges presented them- this dog and my need to calm him.
selves. Dyngo had arrived with scabs
and open sores on his underbelly,
Tests revealed a bacterial infection that ON OUR WALKS, I
required antibiotics and medicated WONDERED HOW TO
shampoo baths. Since I could not lift CONVEY TO DYNGO
Dyngo into the bathtub, I would shut
us both into the small bathroom and THAT THERE WERE NO
do the best I could with a bucket and BOMBS HERE.
washcloth, leaving water and dog hair
on the floor.
Then there was Dyngo’s nearly One night that summer, I called my
uncontrollable drive for toys—or any- father and told him things weren’t get-
thing resembling a toy. Instilled in him ting better. “Give it time,” he said. “You’ll
by the rewards he’d received during his end up loving each other, you’ll see.”
training, this urge sent him after every When Dyngo would pull away, strain-
ball, stuffed animal or abandoned glove ing against my hold on the leash, I
we passed. The distant echo of a bounc- found that hard to believe.
ing basketball filled me with dread. Sometimes, when Dyngo stared at me
My desperation grew when Dyngo from behind the bars of his borrowed
began to twist himself like a pretzel crate, I wondered whether he was think-
to clamp down on the fur and flesh ing back to his days of leaping out of
above his hind leg, gripping himself in helicopters. Did he crave the adrena-
rhythmic bites, a compulsion known line rush of hopping over walls and the
as flank sucking. struggle of human limbs between his
Struggling for order, I set up a rigid teeth? What if, in my attempt to offer
Groundhog Day–like routine. Each day, him a life of love and relaxation, I had
we would wake at the same hour, eat stolen his sense of purpose?
meals at the same hour, travel the same
walking paths and sit in the same spot military dogs get to a point where
on the floor together after every meal. they’re living for their jobs, just as

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reader’s digest

Among the former han-


dlers who’d worked with
Dyngo was Staff Sgt. Jessie
Keller, who had arranged
the adoption. As Dyngo
and I struggled to adapt to
our new life, Keller offered
thoughtful suggestions. But
something changed for me
when Keller sent a text
shortly after I’d adopted
Dyngo—“If u don’t feel u can
keep him please let me know
and I will take him back.”
After months of adjustment, Dyngo now walks in In some ways, this was the
his neighbourhood without feeling that he’s on duty. thing I most wanted to hear.
But a resolve took hold: I was
not going to give up this dog.
human service members do, says Matt During our early months together,
Hatala, a former Marine handler who Dyngo admirably maintained his mil-
deployed to Afghanistan. “That has itary duties. As we made our way down
been their identity—that is it—for the hall from my apartment, he would
years and years. And when you get out, drop his nose down to the seam of
you kinda go, ‘What the heck do I do each door we passed and give it a swift
now?’ And you can never really find but thorough sniff. He was still hunting
that replacement. for bombs. Every time I clipped on his
“That dog’s been through situations leash, he was ready to do his job, even
you’re not going to be able to under- if, in his mind, I wasn’t ready to do
stand and might not be able to handle,” mine. He’d turn up his face, expectant
Hatala continues. He acknowledges and chiding. And when I didn’t give a
that things weren’t always easy after command, he would carry on, picking
he brought home Chaney, his former up my slack.
SUSANA RAAB/INSTITUTE

canine partner. The black Lab was still I tried to navigate him away from
ready to work, but there wasn’t any work the line of cars parked along the leafy
to do. Chaney developed a fear of thun- streets, where he tried to set his nose
derstorms—which was strange, Hatala toward the curves of the tires. How
says, because he had never before been could I convey to him that there were
scared of thunder, or even of gunfire. no bombs here? How could I make

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him understand that his nose was now swirls of white and grey. He is missing
entirely his own? more than a few teeth and walks with
Over the next nine months or so, a bit of a limp.
Dyngo gradually learned to let his guard
down and settle into domesticity, and early in 2018, Dyngo and I drove up to
I adjusted to life with a retired war dog. my parents’ home in Connecticut. It
was an unusually balmy day in Febru-
it has now been more than three years ary, and we rode with the windows
since I brought Dyngo home. He has down, Dyngo’s head raised into the
learned how to play, maybe for the first slanting sun. He made friends with the
time, without anxiety. The borrowed neighbours’ dogs, dragged branches
crate was dismantled two years ago. His across the muddy yard and took long
flank sucking has all but disappeared. evening walks with my father in the
All the rugs lie in place, the couch downy snow.
cushions and pillows sit idle and Back in D.C., when we pulled into
unthreatened. Dyngo and I are rarely our building’s circular driveway after
more than a few feet apart—he follows two weeks away, I looked on as he
me around, my lumbering guardian. jumped down onto the concrete. His
He is now truly my dog. face changed as he reoriented himself
Every once in a while, as I run my to the surroundings, finding his foot-
thumb along the velvety inside of his ing along the uneven sidewalks and
left ear, I see the faint blue of his ID making a beeline toward his favourite
tattoo, #L606. He exhales a low grum- tree. As we entered my apartment, he
ble, but it’s one of deep contentment. nosed his way inside, then pranced
I can take Dyngo out without worry back and forth between his bed and
now. He is gentle with dogs who are bowls. He danced toward me, his eyes
smaller or frailer than he is. He has filled to the brim with an expression
even befriended a feisty black cat. that required no interpretation: We’re
Dyngo’s dozen years of rough-and- home! We’re home!
tumble life are finally catching up with
him. His stand-at-attention ears have COPYRIGHT 2019 SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTION.
REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION FROM SMITHSONIAN
fallen into a crumple. The marmalade ENTERPRISES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REPRODUCTION
IN ANY MEDIUM IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED WITHOUT
brown of his muzzle is swept with PERMISSION FROM SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTION.

Mortal Motivation
To not think of dying, is to not think of living.
JANN ARDEN, MUSICIAN

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HEART

After my husband passed away, my children


found a novel way to honour him.

BY Mary Jane Philp FROM THE GLOBE AND MAIL


illustration by rachel wada

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reader’s digest

HE WAS NO clothes horse, but my hus- first-time parenthood while nursing


band’s story is in what he wore. a wound that could never fully heal.
I’m writing this after 18 months of During this time a concept evolved
living without the man I had known through the collaboration of my chil-
for more than 50 years and it still feels dren and a talented family member: to
surreal. Rob died of cancer in 2018. artfully arrange pieces of Rob’s clothing
Our lives together created many mem- into a four-by-five-foot quilt, although
ories—rich experiences, gladly shared— that hardly seems an adequate term
and I know they are what will help for what was created.
sustain me. Still, when our two sons
and their wives presented me with a
surprise memento of their father, I was THE FINAL RESULT
quite literally speechless. EVOKES A LIFE
After his death, we went through THROUGH SWATCHES
closets and drawers—that is what we
do when we don’t know what to do. OF SHIRTS AND ONE
One of his passions was mountain BATHING SUIT.
biking. He was highly skilled, winning
races up to the provincial level. There
were lots of colourful cycling jerseys. On one side, the colour and vibrancy
On the other hand, many of his every- of travel and cycling experiences are
day shirts were common checks and combined in stunning patterns, blend-
plaids, and almost all were relics. Our ing memorable events and locations.
sons each took several items; probably The cycling jerseys predominate but
not to wear, but something familiar of there is more. In recent years, Rob
their dad’s to keep. Those tasks kept us rekindled a love of sailboarding. A shirt
busy—and close—in the first days of from the Outer Banks recalls one sail-
our new reality. boarding trip to North Carolina. Else-
Some weeks passed. A little girl where in the quilt, the logo of the
became my first grandchild, and two Lunenburg Foundry reminds me of
sweet grandsons arrived a few months cycling from our home in Kingston,
later. Those new families grappled Ont., to Nova Scotia for a family reunion
bravely with all the highs and lows of in 2015. The Poison Spider Bicycles

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reader’s digest

square comes from a shirt bought in down every day. I often stop and reflect
a well-known cycling shop in Moab, on the ordinary and extraordinary man
Utah, a mountain biker’s dream des- who was my husband.
tination. Rob and our sons made that The quilt has helped me absorb the
trip together less than a month before fullness of his time on Earth; seeing
he received his devastating diagnosis. that, for most of us, the lives we live
The other side evokes a life lived are a complex mix of accomplish-
through swatches of those everyday ments—some stellar, some simple—
shirts (plus his bathing suit) that all and the daily relationships, habits and
who knew and loved Rob would rec- actions that form us. Hardly profound,
ognize at 10 paces. The workmanship but comforting.
is exquisite. At a recent family gathering we
placed the three babies on Rob’s quilt
and began to tell them about their
WE PLACED THE grandfather and the things he liked to
THREE BABIES ON do. This will become one of our new
THE QUILT AND TOLD traditions. Rob missed meeting his
grandchildren by only a few months,
THEM ABOUT THEIR but he will become a person they know
GRANDFATHER. through the stories—both ordinary and
extraordinary—that we will tell them.
Memories we carry in our hearts are
When we retired to Kingston six most precious but, for me, having
years ago, we renovated one of the something close at hand to touch and
remaining buildings of the old Ports- recall, and to share with others, has
mouth Brewery. We worked with a already proven to be a salve for an ach-
local contractor and it took a lot of ing heart. The warm response of family
vision, collaboration, risk-taking and and friends to this work of love has
hard work. It is an unusual home. In moved me. The quilt is a gift that con-
our entry area, a canoe that Rob built tinues to give each day and for that I
hangs over the front door, and the bikes am grateful. Creativity and beauty do
that we rode together are suspended not always come from a happy place.
from the wall—sculpturally appealing In bewilderment and sorrow and loss,
but mostly for easy access. On another some will see patterns that can begin
wall once hung Rob’s sailboarding to bring order to the emotional chaos
equipment; that has now gone, and the that is a natural part of grieving.
quilt has taken up the void. It hangs © 2019, MARY JANE PHILP. “A QUILT KEEPS MY HUSBAND’S
MEMORY ALIVE,” FROM THE GLOBE AND MAIL (DECEMBER
right by the staircase I walk up and 2, 2019). THEGLOBEANDMAIL.COM

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people in the branch,


LAUGHTER including Dave the bar-
the Best Medicine tender and six patrons,
also all named Dave.
Geoff strolled in, walked
I believe in reincarnation Feline Instinct up to the bar, took a
because I know I was It’s unfair to say that Scar look around the room
the Trojan guard who murdered Mufasa in and declared, “I’d like
saw the horse and was The Lion King. Cats just to buy a beer for every-
like, “Wow, it’s stunning! have a natural need to one but Dave.”
Open the gates! Let that knock things off ledges. — DAVID ST AMAND,
big horse in!” — @PATSATWEETIN Nepean, Ont.
— JULIO TORRES, comedian
Free Wheeling Debt collector: You have
The ads for women’s Always remember: an outstanding bill.
shower products always you can do a cartwheel Me: Aw, thank you!
say things like “Lock in whenever and wherever — @ABBIEEXANSXO
your moisture” and you want.
“Rejuvenate your pores.” — @CHARSTARLENE
Send us your original
Meanwhile, men’s ads jokes! You could earn $50
are just like “Smell like It was dart night at the and be featured in the
hammer, you idiot.” Barrhaven Legion. magazine. See page 7 or
— @MNATESHYAMALAN There were only seven rd.ca/joke for details.

THE BEST JOKE I EVER TOLD


By Tamara Shevon

My life hack for buying wine is the ratio of


alcohol percentage to price. If it’s an eight-
per-cent bottle of wine for $14, that’s a hard no.
But if it’s a 14-per-cent bottle for $8, I’m like,
well, I’ve always wanted to go to Argentina.
Tamara Shevon is a Toronto-based comic and
the host of SOS comedy show. Connect with
her online at tamarashevon.com.

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HEART

Every day, traumatized kids are


removed from their parents and made
Crown wards. The lucky ones get cared for
by Cindy Stirling. In the last 30 years, she’s
fostered 200, providing school lunches,
rides to swimming lessons and a home
where everyone feels safe and loved.

MOTHER
SUPERIOR
BY Luc Rinaldi FROM TORONTO LIFE
photographs by vanessa heins
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reader’s digest

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The Stirlings married in 1986. For


them, the decision to become foster
parents was easy. Through their work,
they’d seen how many kids needed lov-
ing parents, and what happened when
kids didn’t have them.
In 1999, they bought a four-bedroom
house in Mississauga. Over the next 20
years, they filled it with children, as
many as nine at a time. Three of them
were theirs, biologically: Molly, Drew
and Jaslan. The others were foster kids.
If there was no one else to care about
a kid, Cindy and Ross Stirling would.
Ross started doing sales and market-
ing for large companies, while Cindy
worked part-time at Community Liv-
ing and ran the household. She became,
CINDY STIRLING’S life has always in fostering lingo, the “designated par-
revolved around kids. The eldest of six, ent,” meaning she was the one dealing
she grew up caring for her younger sib- with child services, filing paperwork,
lings. After high school, she enrolled at talking to biological families and bring-
Seneca College in Toronto to begin ing kids to court.
training as a cop—she figured it would She has fostered more than 200 kids
be a good way to protect children—but over the years, between the ages of
she dropped out after a year to take a 18 months and 16 years old. The kids
more direct approach as a residential call her Cindy, Mom or Mama Bear.
counsellor with Community Living, a Dozens of former foster kids still
non-profit for people with disabilities. come by the house some months,
In 1985, she met her future hus- looking for money or a meal. One of
band, Ross, who worked at a centre her former foster daughters, now in
for youth with mental-health prob- her 30s, calls her multiple times a day
lems in Oshawa, Ont. Stirling would for favours and parenting advice.
pick him up from work before dates, Nowhere in the foster-parenting fine
chatting with the teens while she print does it say that she has to keep
waited. Soon after, she studied family caring for kids once they leave, but
and rehabilitative work, and began a she does it unceremoniously, because
new career in social work. that’s what you do for your kids.

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Every time one child leaves her the province’s opioid crisis is sending
house, Stirling tells the local chil- more kids into care than usual.
dren’s aid society that she has an open The rest of Canada isn’t faring much
bed, and another tot or teen arrives. better. The Child Welfare Political
She’s thought about leaving the beds Action Committee estimates that there
unfilled, but more than money, free are 78,000 children in care across the
time or anything else, the kids make country, but the number of foster
her happy. If it takes a village to raise a homes available to them is dwindling,
child, Cindy Stirling is the mayor. leading to overcrowding and long waits.
Both Saskatchewan and Quebec have
THE FIRST TIME I met Stirling, she severe shortages of foster homes for
picked me up in her Dodge Grand Cara- babies and toddlers, and Manitoba’s
van. Stirling speaks with frankness, as auditor general recently panned the
if she’s trying to save both your time province’s foster-care system for fail-
and her own. Her phone pings inces- ing to perform criminal background
santly with messages from her kids, checks on parents, among other issues.
their doctors, dentists, therapists, child- Meanwhile, child-care workers in
care workers and lawyers, all asking Newfoundland started travelling the
something of her. There are only a province in 2018, trying to enlist new
handful of things that reliably rattle foster parents to take in 39 children
Stirling’s stoic demeanour: teachers with complex needs. These problems
who label her kids “bad” because of disproportionately affect Indigenous
their behaviour or grades, landlords children, who comprise roughly 52 per
who won’t rent to the older ones cent of Canadian kids in private foster
because they’re on welfare and, most homes, despite representing less than
of all, bureaucracy. 8 per cent of Canadian youth.
Ontario’s child-care system is in cri- To make matters worse, foster par-
sis. Since taking office in June 2018, ents are retiring en masse, and the new
Doug Ford’s government has slashed generation isn’t taking up the mantle.
$84.5 million from funding for chil- According to a June 2019 report of Brit-
dren and youth, including $2.8 million ish Columbia’s child-care system, 53
from the province’s $1.5-billion child- per cent of the province’s foster par-
care budget. It eliminated the Ontario ents were under 50 in 2008; today,
Child Advocate’s office and combined that’s down to 39 per cent. Children’s
the Ministry of Children and Youth aid societies struggle to recruit new
Services with an already overburdened foster parents, likely in part because
social services ministry. The cuts Canadians are less religious than they
couldn’t have come at a worse time: once were. While the Stirlings aren’t

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reader’s digest

religious, faith is a major factor that 19-year-old girls, live in the basement.
draws people to fostering. They aged out of the system last year,
The rigour of the application process so Stirling struck a deal: they pay $500
can also deter prospective parents. The a month for room and board while they
intent is to filter out starry-eyed appli- get on their feet. The place fills up with
cants who aren’t prepared for what more former foster kids every week-
the job entails. The unfortunate side end. Thanksgiving involves at least 30
effect is that the process scares off people and two 24-pound turkeys.
plenty of would-be foster parents. As In the Stirling household, a few
one children’s aid worker put it, “You things are non-negotiable. Kids have
parent in a fishbowl.” to attend school, and Stirling always
checks if they have homework. Every-
one is expected home for dinner—
STIRLING TOOK OUT amazingly, they eat at 3:30 p.m. because
A LINE OF CREDIT that’s the only time everyone’s sched-
ON HER HOUSE SO ules allow. Each kid has a rotating list
of chores, and if one kid breaks a rule,
SHE COULD GIVE HER Stirling sits them down away from the
FOSTER KIDS LOANS. rest and talks it out. One foster daughter
who stayed with the Stirlings for several
years says she couldn’t recall a time
Cindy Stirling’s fishbowl—her home when Stirling lost her cool. “It really
in Mississauga—looks much like the takes a lot to piss that woman off.”
ones beside it, except for the garage
door, which has a bright blue and green STIRLING TOOK OUT a line of credit on
fairy garden painted on it, and the num- the house to be able to give her foster
ber of bins: three garbage, three recy- kids loans. She has joint bank accounts
cling, two green. Inside, the walls and with more than a dozen of her former
shelves are covered with family por- kids because they trust her to prevent
traits, each different from the others them from squandering their savings.
by a kid or two. Above Stirling’s desk A number of aid societies help her with
is a wall of calendars, art projects and funding for the three younger kids.
cards from her kids and grandchildren. She tries to find what each foster is
One reads, “I Love You so much gram- passionate about—a sport, a creative
mie in the hole WorlD.” pursuit—and gets them hooked early,
Right now, the Stirling house has even if it means dipping into her own
three foster kids, aged nine, 10 and 17. savings. “You’re either paying for these
Two former foster kids, a pair of things when they’re young,” she says,

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“or you’re paying for a lawyer to get goatee. In the Disney version of the
them out of trouble later.” Stirling story, Ross is Cindy’s lovable
When I asked Stirling if she had any sidekick. The reality is messier. Four
retirement plans, she seemed dumb- years ago, the couple legally separated
founded by the suggestion. Drew, her and Ross moved out. Ross was working
biological son, studied business and 15-hour days and taking week-long
recently started helping his parents business trips to support the family.
plan for their financial futures—they He was burning out. “When you first
don’t have much saved. “It’s not look- start fostering, you have all these altru-
ing very good for them,” he says. “Look- istic ideas,” he says. “You think you’re
ing back, you can say, ‘Well, if you had going to change lives. And you do. But
just done this.…’ But that’s the sacrifice it certainly took a toll.” They attended
they made, right?” couples’ counselling but ultimately
Not long after I arrived at the Stirling decided to split.
house, Ross joined us. At 59, he’s ami- Nonetheless, Stirling’s open-door
able and stocky, with a salt-and-pepper policy extends to her ex-husband.

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reader’s digest

A few months ago, he moved into a her pimp. When Stirling drove her to
room in the basement after experienc- court to testify against him, she used
ing some financial trouble. She saw no a rental car so he couldn’t track their
reason why he shouldn’t. She’d wit- licence plate.
nessed stranger family reunions. Stirling has been known to help fos-
ter kids connect with their biological
CINDY STIRLING is rigidly egalitarian. families, even asking parents to apolo-
When she begins a story by saying “One gize to their kids—for hitting them, for
of my kids,” she might mean one of the neglecting them, for showing up late to
three she gave birth to or one of the 200 meetings—and vice versa. In 1995, she
she gave a home to. The dining room let one child’s biological mother stay at
table is round so that none of the kids sits the family home while she visited and
at the head. On a recent Family Day, she repaired her relationship with her child.
invited a diverse throng of her children Stirling has become expert at caring
to a Chinese buffet restaurant. When for kids who’ve endured abuse, neglect,
the waiter asked what the occasion poverty. But she had no idea how to
was, she replied, “This is my family.” cope when one of her kids was diag-
nosed with cancer. In 2006, a nine-year-
old named Natasha arrived at her house,
SHE'S BECOME AN crying as she walked up the family
EXPERT AT CARING driveway. Natasha was extremely shy—
FOR KIDS WHO'VE she’d shut down when they asked her
too many questions. Slowly, though, she
ENDURED ABUSE, bonded with her new siblings, and once
NEGLECT, POVERTY. she got more comfortable, she was sassy
and mischievous. She hid her siblings’
things around the house and laughed
Each kid arrives with unique chal- as she gave them clues to find them.
lenges. One of the first, back in the ’90s, For seven years, Natasha thrived.
was a teenage boy who asked Ross why Then, when she was 16, she started
he stopped drinking after just three bot- losing weight and feeling pain in her
tles of beer; his biological dad always ribs. After some X-rays, she was sent to
finished the whole case. Another boy SickKids hospital in Toronto. Natasha
gained several pounds in his first week had Ewing sarcoma—there was a
with the Stirlings because he ate non- tumour lodged between her fourth rib
stop. He wasn’t used to knowing when and lung. Her doctors predicted she
he’d get his next meal. Then there was could beat it. For two years, Stirling
the girl who needed protection from accompanied Natasha to every single

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appointment and chemo session. But passports—whatever they happen to


she didn’t get better. Less than a year need that day.
after Natasha was diagnosed, the fam- Her biological kids have found suc-
ily learned her cancer was terminal. cess. Molly works in the social services
When Natasha was sick, Stirling field, with disabled adults. Drew works
replaced the couch in the living room for a social enterprise in Ottawa that
with a hospital bed. She also helped sends shipping-container farms to the
her to reconnect with her biological North. The youngest, Jaslan, was born
family. On July 6, 2015, Stirling and with a heart defect that doctors said
Natasha’s relatives were sitting at her would prevent her from playing sports
side. Stirling reached to wipe a tear or having kids. She went on to train
from her face, and as she brushed her with the national women’s field hockey
cheek, Natasha took her last breath. team in Vancouver.
She was only 18. Every year, Stirling Many of Stirling’s foster kids are flour-
brings a fresh bouquet of purple flow- ishing, as well. One just graduated from
ers to Natasha’s grave. culinary school. Another joined the
board of the children’s aid society that
STIRLING PLAYS Lotto 6/49 and Lotto helped her when she was younger; she
Max every week. Her numbers are a and Stirling take turns babysitting each
string of family birthdays. When she other’s kids. “There’s nothing better
wins—and she says when, not if—she’ll than a kid coming in and saying, ‘What’s
found a non-profit for kids who have cooking, Grammie?’” Stirling says.
aged out of care: a one-stop shop for One day, when Stirling was in court,
counselling, legal help, financial aid a young man approached her and
and budgeting classes. Everyone will asked, “Are you Cindy Stirling?” He
be welcome, regardless of age, ability, introduced himself as a boy who’d only
ethnicity, sexual orientation. Whether stayed with her for 24 hours many
she realizes it or not, Stirling sounds years earlier. “I just wanted to say hello
like she’s describing her own house. and thank you. Even though it was only
Until she hits the jackpot, she’ll con- a day, I still remember you.”
tinue doing that work herself, helping © 2019, LUC RINALDI. FROM “THE WOMAN WITH 200
KIDS,” BY LUC RINALDI (TORONTO LIFE, SEPTEMBER 2019),
kids move, find furniture, apply for TORONTOLIFE.COM

Change in Perspective
Last night someone asked me if crabs think we walk sideways,
and I haven't stopped thinking about it since.
@ NINAGILBERT7

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HUMOUR

RELY ON ME, i cannot believe it has come to this. But

NOT GOOGLE consistently plummeting sales have


forced my hand (metaphorically, as I
do not have literal hands). I write to
you (again, without hands) as a con-
A plea from the lonely cerned Magic 8 Ball, urging you to
Magic 8 Ball collecting reconsider your dependence on Google
for answering all questions, when I am
dust in your basement clearly the superior alternative.
As a novelty item invented in the
BY Cassie Barradas 1950s, I am uniquely qualified to give
illustration by belle wuthrich up to 20 possible responses to any yes

58 may 2020
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reader’s digest

or no questions you may have about enhance your grip strength and gross
life, love and the universe in general. motor skills, you also always get an
For example: answer to a question that you may or
“Should I propose to my girlfriend of may not have been asking. If you shake
six months?” Google, you are going to end up with a
Ask again later. broken laptop.
“Can I drink from this carton of milk Can Google fall out of your pocket
one day past its expiration?” and roll down a busy side street, causing
You may rely on it. you to look down as you try to catch it
“Is Outlook a good choice to use for and accidentally bump into an attractive
my personal email?” stranger who turns out to be the love
Outlook not so good. of your life? There’s a reason that rom-
Imagine googling the answers to coms don’t start with Google searches,
those questions. Ha! You’d be so over- and it’s not just copyright, baby.
whelmed by the options that you would An appeal to academics: I make
inevitably watch nine hours of YouTube researching a lot more open-ended.
hedgehog videos instead of coming to How boring is it to “cite sources” and
a conclusion. Prolonged screen time is “study”? Bleh. You can ask me what
bad for your eyesight; it is decidedly so. you like and know I’m the definitive
Prolonged time with me, your steadfast yes, no or maybe source on it.
and mystical Magic 8 Ball, is good for Still need convincing?
your inner eye. Why lose vision when Can Google make your enemies
you can gain visions? sneeze? Dust me off instead.
Google may help you prevent iden- Can you put Google down your shirt
tity theft, but can it save you from petty and pretend you have a tiny baby
theft? Consider the following scenario: bump? Didn’t think so.
Can you substitute Google for a regu-
Would-be mugger: “Give me your lar 8 ball? Absolutely not.
phone, which has Google on it.” And most importantly, did Google
You: “I don’t have a phone or Google. take even a moment out of its day to
I simply have this Magic 8 Ball.” write this plea to you in a respected
Would-be mugger: “No phone? Your magazine? Because I did (full disclo-
circumstances are clearly dire. I’ll be sure, I had to use Google’s voice assis-
on my way.” tant to do so).
Sincerely,
Alternatively, you could just throw me Magic 8 Ball
at him as a self-defence tactic. Forgotten Box of Childhood Junk,
If you shake me, not only do you the Basement

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MEMOIR
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reader’s digest

The Flower Thief


W I T H O N LY M O N T H S T O L I V E ,
BRIAN BRETT SURROUNDED HIMSELF
W I T H ST O L E N B E AU T Y

FROM THE T YEE

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I
am the flower thief of Vancou- the creek. Then, in the summer heat,
ver. I’ve been a predator of leaping into the rushing, clean water,
beauty all my life, and beauty clothes and all. Today, both creek and
has had many faces. field are potentially toxic, while the
As a child of the ’50s, beauty new hybrid watermelons have lost
was a plum tree glistening pur- their teeth-hurting intensity.
ple, with dripping sap, cracked One day, we kids were raiding the
plums and ecstatic yellow jack- ancient man’s garden across the street.
ets circling my semi-naked He grew the best raspberries. Sud-
monkey body as I clambered denly, the man came hobbling out the
through the branches, somehow door wielding a broom and I scurried
unstung, filling my T-shirt with the home. He followed me to my door—
sweet, sticky crop from the tree. and then inside! My parents were at
At first, my predations were mostly work. I was terrified, so I slithered
gardens, though I did branch out into under their bed as he stalked through
comic books and chocolate bars until the rooms, grumbling and waving his
my ruthless, righteous mother caught broom. He shoved it under the bed
me. Oh the shame of being marched where I was hiding, just missing me.
down to the local convenience store Fortunately, he couldn’t manage to
and abjectly apologizing while I paid lean down far enough to see me. He
everything back. left the house, slamming the door,
My crooked ways soon returned. I cursing his way home.
was an incorrigible child. We discov-
ered the old lady’s carrot patch down MY NEFARIOUS INSTINCTS returned
the street. We would crouch in her gar- again when I was a student at Simon
den and yank the tender young carrots Fraser University. A lovely woman had
out, rub them clean and munch them joined me at my home in White Rock (PREVIOUS SPREAD) ISTOCK.COM/SRDICPHOTO

down like Bugs Bunny before running, and, while walking the beach road, I
shrieking for our lives when the cane- noticed a row of enormous sunflowers
wielding old lady appeared. growing alongside a shed.
This was followed by the discovery of That night I returned with a knife,
the watermelon farm. How I miss those hacked off the largest head and kept it
seedy, ineffably sweet watermelons, in a jug on the kitchen table. The sun-
along with the cow corn we ate raw, flower impressed the lady, though a
also sweet, only starchy. I miss smash- few days later the guilt crept in and has
ing the stolen melon with my bare fist, stuck with me ever since, almost 50
scooping out the red flesh. I miss the years. The more I took to my own gar-
seed-spitting contests in the shade by dening, the more I regarded myself as

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a crud, especially since I’ve never been WHAT A WEIRD SPRING we had in 2019,
able to grow a sunflower as large as such a crazy unleashing of blossoms. I
that regal, stolen giant. realized I had to pay attention to every
By 1980, I had become almost too one of them. Then my heart specialist
obsessed with gardening. Cultivating decided to compete with my oncolo-
my garden made me a fierce protector gist for the role of Doctor Doom. She
of my plants, along with those of my told me that my chances for another
neighbours and public gardens, too. spring were even slimmer.
Then came the brutal July of 2015. I My last flowers! The deranged flower
lost my health to one of those ferocious prowler was unleashed. At first I nabbed
hospital bacterias. I also lost the love them mostly with permission from
of my life, who changed her mind people’s yards, or off the boulevards.
about me after 38 years. We had to give My bedroom became thick with mag-
up our farm paradise on Salt Spring nolias, camellias, quince and crab-
Island, with its orchard and large gar- apple. My brightest spring ever.
den that I’d dream-fantasied into
existence when I was 17 years old.
In February 2019, once again a
lowly renter in Vancouver, my new
surgeon told me I was too far gone
to operate on a newly diagnosed
liver cancer. I had less than a 50 per
cent chance of surviving the year.
Not that I believed him, but the
thought of being shut down so sud-
PHOTOGRAPH BY BARRY PETERSON AND BLAISE ENRIGHT

denly made me consider the possi-


bility that it was my last spring.
I walked out of that doctor’s office,
angry at his rude dismissal, then
recognized how blue the sky was. It
hadn’t been that blue since I was 12
years old, when I scratched “There
are 287 kinds of blue” on the back of
my clothes dresser, along with the
name of a pretty young girl I knew
in Grade 6, so that neither would be
Brian Brett on Salt
forgotten. And they weren’t, though Spring Island, 2005.
the dresser is long gone.

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reader’s digest

I still believed I was unkillable, to correct that flaw, he bred to enhance


though I suspect everyone thinks that it so that his fellow citizens would
when they receive the death penalty. I understand the transience of life and
continued on my raids. I know that death’s presence, even in these ele-
snatching flowers is a cruel thing to do, gant, near-perfect blossoms.
but I also knew what I was doing, so
the pruning was very artful. IT NEVER OCCURRED to me that so
Also, in a further plea for leniency, I many flowers would soon clutter the
generally stuck to the public boule- house. Since there were already orchids
vards. While the city has some bril- at my bedside, the room had grown
liant arborists, it clearly doesn’t have crowded very quickly. (I kept the
enough staff to properly prune every- orchids so that if I should die in my
thing, so I tidied up the trees as I sleep, they will be the last things I see
snatched the blossoms. You may call when I extinguish the lights.) This
this vigilante pruning or, more artistic- beautiful dilemma was worsened by
ally, guerrilla ikebana. my kitten, who discovered that vases
This is not something the average full of quince, cherry, plum, camellia,
idiot with a hacksaw should practise. roses and peonies made for excellent
Pruning is a complex business. For batting practice.
instance, I sterilized my shears in And yet, I went out for more. If a par-
between trees so I didn’t pass any dis- ticularly spectacular flower was in a
ease from one tree to another. yard, I would ask someone at the door
As I carried out my forays, I thought for a cutting. Even those who don’t
of a quote attributed to Buddha: “Atten- speak English figured me out quickly,
tion leads to immortality. Carelessness with my pruning shears and my panto-
leads to death. Those who pay atten- mimes pointing at a branch. They
tion will not die, while the careless are invariably nodded yes.
as good as dead already.” Only one person turned me down. I
I thought, too, of what the good Dr. trudged up to a door and knocked, and
Johnson said: “When a man knows he could see through the curtains a large
is to be hanged in a fortnight, it con- man and a woman snuggled up on the
centrates his mind wonderfully.” sofa, watching TV. They never moved.
That’s why I became enamoured of So I knocked again. She rose and walked
the two splendid camellias that grow to the window by the door, pulled the
in my yard. Many centuries back, an curtain aside, stared at me and then
intrepid Japanese gardener noticed returned to the sofa.
that certain camellias faded, even as This so inflamed me that I chopped
they bloomed. Rather than breed them off a dangling branch of her beautiful

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magnolia as I returned down the side- Now there are around 20,000 cherry
walk. Now I feel guilty about that one. trees in multiple varieties planted
She might have been harassed by a among magnolias and plum and hun-
local gang or was a frightened refugee; dreds of other trees.
there could have been any reason for Looking up the history of my local
her rudeness. trees made reality return with a ven-
I took early evening walks to map geance, and I realized with some hor-
out the best flowers. When the light ror what I had been doing, so I set
faded, I dashed in and had at them like down my pruning shears again. “O
Edward Scissorhands, turning some mother tell your children not to do
bedraggled hawthorn or Magnolia lilii- what I have done!”
flora Nigra into a beauty before fleeing Treat our city of gardens with respect.
with my ill-gotten gains. Save the flowers for your children. Yes,
I should receive a good citizenship pay attention!
award for donating my decades of prun- Me? I was rewarded with a new diag-
ing skills to the city for free, but I’ll prob- nosis of survival for an extra year.
ably get arrested for writing this article. Though another spring is here, no
longer will I prowl our evenings,
VANCOUVER IS NOTED worldwide for pruning shears in hand, even though
its exquisite public trees. Some of them my damaged heart is exploding like a
have a complex history. For example, deep red rose.
Vancouver’s original 500 sakura, or Stolen beauty has a special, danger-
cherry trees, were a gift from the may- ous quality. It’s also a destructive qual-
ors of Kobe and Yokohama, who ity, never as special as natural beauty
wanted to express their gratitude to the admired in its natural place. Our real
Japanese-Canadians who served in duty is to bloom and grow bright, then
the First World War. Unfortunately, we fade and die.
repaid them 10 years later by interning © 2019, BRIAN BRETT. FROM “IF DOCTORS SAID THIS
WAS YOUR LAST SPRING, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?”
all Japanese residents in prison camps. BY BRIAN BRETT, THETYEE.CA ( JUNE 20, 2019).

Food for Thought


All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.
JOHN GUNTHER, AUTHOR

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well,


if one has not dined well.
VIRGINIA WOOLF

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reader’s digest

AS KIDS SEE IT

“We can speak freely now. I’ve secured the line.”

My sister was out for a innocently, “And your children show


walk with her three- where do they keep up and ask what
year-old son. On the their pancakes?” you’re eating?
walk, she pointed out — ASIYAH BAKSH, — @MOMMAJESSIEC
an empty nest, telling Hamilton
her son, “That’s a bird’s Four-year-old student:
CONAN DE VRIES

nest. The birds keep If you open a candy Mrs. P., did you notice
their eggs in there.” wrapper in the middle I’m getting taller?
Her son looked up of a forest with nobody Me: I thought you
at her and asked around, how long until looked taller.

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Student: That’s because My daughter just asked me if I was 22.


Mommy’s cooking a lot I said, “No, I’m 37.” Then she asked if
better this year!
— OLGA PERIN,
I’m actually her grandma.
Caledonia, Ont. — @UNFILTEREDMAMA

My four-year-old has said, “It’s not a cow, My daughter woke me


been carrying a small Mom, it’s a dinosaur!” up at 5 a.m. to urgently
notebook around all — JOSEPHINE SISMAR, tell me that “Any bal-
day. She opens it, writes Coquitlam loon SpongeBob blows
small scribbles and up is technically a water
quickly closes it back Have kids so that some- balloon,” and I have
up. She’s calling it her one can ask you to cut not been able to fall
“secret diarrhea.” up their bagel and then back asleep.
Maybe someday I’ll cor- ask you to put it back — @ISABELZAWTUN
rect her, but definitely together.
not today. — @OHIOMOMOFTWO Me: Mommy just needs
— @MOMTRANSPARENT1 a little space right now.
Mom to five-year-old Child [perched on top of
My six-year-old niece, biological son: Why my head]: Why?
Ella, after snorkelling are you so cute? — @LURKATHOMEMOM
for the first time: Five-year-old: I’m
Mommy, I saw a school adopted. [Driving by a church
of fish! — NORBERT PENNER, with my six-year-old
Her mother: Wow, Ella! Chilliwack, B.C. nephew.]
A school of fish! Nephew: It’s a turch!
Ella: Well, maybe it was I was reading a book Me: No, that’s a church.
just a class. with my four-year-old It starts with C.
— AMANDA ROBERTS, that asked him to name Nephew: Then why is
Toronto someone who loves there a T on it?
him. “I can’t,” he said. — CHRISTINE HOOVER,
My four-year-old son “Yes, you can,” I told London, Ont.
loved to draw dino- him. “Just name some-
saurs. One day he drew one.” He looked puzzled
Send us your original
a large T. Rex and it and said, “But everyone jokes! You could earn $50
looked really good, so already has names.” and be featured in the
I exclaimed, “Holy — ASHLEY ASHFIELD, magazine. See page 7 or
cow!” Outraged, he Hampton, N.B. rd.ca/joke for details.

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PHOTO CREDIT TO COME


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PROFILE

FROM THE MOMENT she first pirou-


etted across the National Ballet stage
in 1969, at age 18 (pictured), it was
clear that Karen Kain was unlike any
ballerina Canada had seen before.
She became a household name for
her ties to Russian ballet legends, for
schmoozing with the likes of Mick
Jagger and Andy Warhol, and for tow-
ering above other dancers (she’s 1.7
metres tall). Kain might have disap-
peared when she stopped perform-
ing at 46 years of age. Instead, she
ALL PHOTOS COURTESY OF THE NATIONAL BALLET OF CANADA, EXCEPT AS NOTED

became the company’s artistic direc-


tor in 2005 and used her star power
and international connections to turn
it into a dance-world powerhouse.

On the eve of
The only thing she hasn’t done is
create her own ballet—until now. This

her retirement,
month, on the eve of her retirement,
she’ll debut a sparkling new produc-
tion of Swan Lake. The ballet, about
a young woman cursed to live as a a look at ballet
swan and the prince who loves and
betrays her, is the epitome of old- star Karen Kain’s
fashioned ballet, but Kain is re-
adapting it for today, drawing on the one-of-a-kind
natural world for inspiration. In hon-
our of Kain’s, ahem, swan song, career
here’s a look back at the most mem-
orable moments from her 50 years of
national treasuredom. BY Emily Landau

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1971 (top)
Kain met the Russian ballet
icon Rudolf Nureyev when
they danced together in
The Sleeping Beauty. “Even
though I was too tall for him,
he handled me superbly,” she
says. “I was brave with him.
He’d give me a charge and
I’d charge him right back.”

1980 (bottom)
After a performance of Swan
Lake at the Met, Nureyev
invited Kain to a party at the
Shah of Iran’s New York apart-
ment. They mingled with
dozens of celebrities, includ-
ing Kiss’s Gene Simmons in
ghoulish makeup. The party
was also the first time she
met Andy Warhol—“He
was weird,” she says. One
Sunday afternoon, she went
down to Warhol’s Factory
Studio so he could photo-
graph her for one of his
iconic portraits. “He was
walking round and round
me and muttering things
I couldn’t understand,” she
says. “I had so many extra-
ordinary experiences just
because Rudolf would drag
me along to everything.”

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1979
For The Karen Kain Super-
special, a giggly, Law-
rence Welk–style CBC
variety show, she acted
in a scene from the Gilbert
and Sullivan comic opera
H.M.S. Pinafore and intro-
duced performances by
CBC STILL PHOTO COLLECTION

Canadian entertainers
like Maureen Forrester.
The closer was a rendition
of the Stravinsky ballet
Firebird, in which Kain
appears in a full face of
dazzling makeup.
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1994 (left) 1994 (above)


The Actress, an exceptionally difficult If there’s a single ballet that defines
ballet loosely modelled on Kain’s life Kain’s career, it’s Swan Lake. In 1971,
and career and co-starring her go-to when Kain was 19 years old, she was
partner at the time, Rex Harrington, cast in the demanding dual roles of the
was the centrepiece of her sold-out Swan Queen and the Black Swan. More
cross-country retirement tour. Kain than two decades later, she danced the
had never considered what she might Swan Queen role one last time. The
do after she finished dancing. “When night of her final performance, the stage
I was dancing, it was everything: every- was showered with roses and balloons
thing I was training for and everything while the audience gave her a standing
I thought about. When I go in, I go all ovation. None of them knew that Kain
the way.” was fighting bronchitis at the time.

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2017 (right)
In the ’70s, Kain was part of a small group
that plotted to help Russian ballet star
Mikhail Baryshnikov defect from the Soviet
Union. His escape in a getaway car took
place after a performance by the Bolshoi
Ballet at the O’Keefe Centre. In 2017, he
returned to Toronto for the company’s
annual fundraising gala, shown here.

2020 (below)
In June, Kain will debut a new signature pro-
duction of Swan Lake, starring dancer Hannah
Fischer. “I’m bringing to it what I’ve learned
in 50 years as an artist,” Kain says.

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LAUGH LINES

A new study finds


Dear cereal makers, that sausages are often
exactly how tall do you think linked to other sausages.
kitchen cabinet shelves are? — @DONNI
— @ANNIEMUMARY

A frittata is
The quickest way just an omelette
to find out the that studied
time is to order a abroad for a year
beer at breakfast in university.
with your mother. — @JENSTATSKY
— @ARTBYPUSH

If you’re getting My wife was going


serious about
Morning to make pancakes.
SHUTTERSTOCK/MARINAD_37

someone, check Then she wasn’t.


what number
their toaster is set
on, because that’s
Yokes Then she was.
Then she wasn’t.
Then she was.
what you’re going Now it looks like
to be living with. she’s just waffling.
— @WILLIAMADER — @KENTWGRAHAM

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LIFE LESSON

How to keep the peace with


three generations living under one roof

FULLER
HOUSE BY Philip Preville
illustration by deshi deng

MY MOTHER-IN-LAW, Georgii, loves to Lynn bringing her parents—Georgii


spoil her grandchildren. Until recently, and my father-in-law, John—into our
I’ve always cherished this aspect of her home. It turns out we were on trend;
personality. The indulgences she offers according to Statistics Canada, from
our three sons aren’t excessive: home- 2011 to 2016, the number of three-
baked treats or some extra screen time. generation homes grew by 38 per cent.
She gives our kids a reprieve from the In theory, the move was a win-win-
stricter limits that my wife, Lynn, and win. Georgii and John would live far
I impose upon them, which was part more affordably than at any seniors’
of what made visiting Oma so special. residence. Lynn and I, both with busy
Then she moved in. careers, would get odd-hours care for
It’s been five years since we consoli- the kids. And the boys would always
dated our two households into one, with have loving family members around.

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reader’s digest

It hasn’t always been as easy as that, be effective: everyone comes to the


though. We’ve had disagreements about table as residents under one roof,
grocery bills, parking spots, what consti- which helps establish a different tone.
tutes a clean kitchen and which brand of The household can use the meetings
saltine is best. And, with Oma in charge, to divvy up chores, organize meal rou-
the boys’ after-school snacks became a tines and air concerns before they turn
smorgasbord of chicken fingers, choc- into grievances. “People aren’t mind-
olate bars and Timbits. I voiced my readers,” says Newman.
displeasure early on, but Georgii coun- When differences can’t be sorted out
tered that they came home starving— easily, well, a family is not a democ-
which I interpreted as a subtle dig at racy. “Always bear in mind whose
the school lunches I made for them. house it is,” says Newman. Typically it
All intergenerational homes, I’m sure, belongs to the middle generation, and
involve such conflicts—but by keeping they should have the final word; the
a few simple principles in mind, har- older generation already had their turn
mony can still prevail. ruling the home. “If there’s a difference
of opinion, you can kindly say to your
Avoid Old Patterns parents, ‘I understand how you feel,
“The most common problem in three- but it’s our house and this is the way
generation households is a parent who, we prefer to run the household.’”
once their own aging parents move
back in, slips back into mommy-daddy- Protect Personal Time
child role,” says Susan Newman, author Three-generation households are an
of Under One Roof Again. “The parent antidote to social isolation, but some-
starts acting like their 10-year-old self times they create the opposite prob-
and their mother starts barking orders lem: privacy can be hard to come by.
at them again.” Most homes were built for two-
To encourage equality, Newman generation nuclear families, so adding
says that the middle set will need to a third puts a squeeze on everyone’s
gently but firmly stand up for them- personal space and their alone time.
selves. When parents criticize or com- Suddenly, the one-bedroom-per-
mand, be direct and explain how it child standard many families are used
affects you. “You can say, ‘Hold it. I’m to might no longer be feasible. Bath-
an adult. I can handle this.’ Or, ‘It feels room backlogs become the new nor-
as if you are judging me right now, and mal. And unlike traditional nuclear
it doesn’t feel good.’” households, moments in the week
To minimize such encounters, New- when you have the house to yourself
man says holding family meetings can become a rare luxury.

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The impact of this squeeze is typ- you’ll want and where you’ll get it. The
ically felt most acutely by the middle topic can be hard to broach—many
generation. “They are often at the high- people find it easier to talk about their
est point in their careers, and the kids death than their decline—but Milligan
have busy schedules,” says therapist Jen encourages being proactive. “I think we
Milligan, based in Peterborough, Ont. need to be honest about our love for our
“Even without adding grandparents parents but also that we still need to be
into the mix, they’re already exhausted able to live our lives, just as they did.”
and don’t have time for themselves.” On the flip side, the middle genera-
Milligan says it’s essential parents tion can tend to lean too heavily upon
and grandparents state when and the grandparents. Milligan suggests
where they want quiet time to decom- thinking of grandparents as volunteer
press in the home, and let others know helpers: they get to offer support in
that’s their do-not-disturb hour. While ways they enjoy. If they like assisting
one adult is having “me time,” the with homework or driving the after-
others need to pick up the slack. Doing school-sports-practice shuttle, they are
so can help ward off resentment and welcome to do those things, but they
keep everyone on good terms. shouldn’t be conscripted into them.
“In order to be our best selves for And it’s unfair if they are denied the
others, we must take care of ourselves,” joys of grandparenting—including the
says Milligan. occasional spoiling.
This is how I made my peace with
Don’t Overextend Yourself Georgii’s after-school snack-meals. It’s
Just as the household’s members need not the healthy food that Lynn or I
to set boundaries around their time, would feed them, but that’s because
they also need them regarding their role. we’re the parents. (Also, I’ll admit that
According to Milligan, problems can I turned out fine despite the many
crop up when the oldest generation thousands of afternoon pizza pockets
begins to need more support. “You I ate as a kid.) The boys look forward to
want to be a good son or daughter to seeing what surprises their Oma has
your aging parents, but you’re not their for them when they get home. To give
nurse,” cautions Milligan. When the their appetites time to recover, we sim-
generations live apart, limits are easier ply moved our family’s suppertime a
to establish, but it’s more difficult to half hour later.
set them when living together. In the end, those treats are an import-
The solution is to talk about home ant part of how Georgii expresses her
care before you actually need it, and love for her grandsons, and I wouldn’t
agree on a plan for the kind of assistance want to stifle that.

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reader’s digest

WORLD WIDE WEIRD

BY Alex Manley

Bed on Arrival
Quality sleep is import-
ant, and investing in a each time wasn’t some- located about 13,000
good mattress can help. thing he was willing to light years away from
But in 2016, New Yorker lose sleep over. the earth.
Karan Bir recognized a
potential loophole— Intern-Planetary Scented Protest
mattress returns. For Sensation United States Customs
over a year, he slept Wolf Cukier, a 17-year- and Border Protection
on a rotating series of old high school student staff near the southern
free trial mattresses, from New York state U.S. border are coming
sourced from online interning at NASA’s up against an unlikely
companies with Goddard Space Flight foe: a flock of vultures.
money-back guaran- Center in Maryland, Legislation that forbids
tees. Bir realized he went far beyond his the killing of these
could hack the system summer job description migratory birds means
by simply returning his when he helped dis- the vultures roost where
purchases within 100 cover evidence of a they see fit. But their
days. By the time he new planet. Even more excretions—including
bid a bed adieu, he’d impressive? He did it the birds’ corrosive
ordered another to only a few days into the vomit—seem to have
take its place. Enough job, when he noticed a damaged a Texas radio
brands offered refunds pattern in NASA’s data tower. Online com-
that he could go years on light coming from menters claim the
without actually paying two faraway suns. The birds are protesting the
for one. He gave up pattern suggested an mistreatment of many
after he moved to an object moving in front migrants detained at
pierre loranger

elevator-less building, of them. The object the U.S. border. What-


however—lugging a turned out to be TOI ever their motivation,
mattress up or down 1338 b, a gas giant simi- the vultures sure know
several flights of stairs lar in size to Saturn, how to make a stink.

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reader’s digest

A Northern Spotted
Owl, a.k.a Strix
occidentalis caurina
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ENVIRONMENT

A captive breeding centre


in British Columbia—the only
one of its kind in the world—
is fighting to keep them
from going extinct.

THE
SPOTTED
OWL BY Sarah Cox
FROM THE NARWHAL

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The spotted owlet lay in his incubator,


refusing bits of rat muscle offered on
tweezers. His skin had the texture of a
plucked chicken, and errant white feathers
stuck up at odd angles, making him one
of the most pathetic-looking creatures
biologist Jasmine McCulligh had ever seen.
McCulligh had worked non-stop left in B.C.’s wild, even though scien-
for four days straight at the Northern tists had been sounding the alarm for
Spotted Owl Breeding Program, a decades about the destruction of the
wooded 10-hectare facility in Lang- species’ ancient rainforest habitat.

(PREVIOUS SPREAD) JARED HOBBS/ALL CANADA PHOTOS


ley, B.C., largely funded by the provin- The breeding centre had hatched just
cial government. As the breeding eight other spotted owls in 10 years.
centre’s multi-tasking coordinator and Raising spotted owls at the world’s
spotted owl specialist, she was on call only breeding centre for the species
while the owlet hatched over 85 hours. is part science and part educated
Now she lay on the floor, exhausted. guesswork. A dearth of information
The one-day-old owlet crumpled in his about spotted owls in captivity means
plastic tray, crying, its distressed peeps biologists can’t google what to do if a
ringing throughout the room. bird falls ill. And then there’s the
McCulligh knew the breeding centre unanswered question of why spotted
couldn’t afford to lose this newborn. At owls in captivity take so long to have
that point in time, in April 2017, only sex. One male and female at the cen-
an estimated six spotted owls were tre surprised scientists by sharing an

84 may 2020
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aviary for four years before they been an abysmal failure. Spotted owls
mated. “We’ve had to learn everything,” are now functionally extinct in Can-
says McCulligh. ada’s wild, where an estimated 1,000
owls once lived in southwestern B.C.’s
spotted owls rose from obscurity to old-growth forests. The B.C. govern-
distinction in the 1980s and 1990s and ment detected only two spotted owl
became a symbol of the eradication of individuals in the Canadian wild, both
ancient rainforests in the Pacific North- in the Fraser Canyon. They found no
west. In the United States, debate and breeding pairs.
lawsuits raged over logging in the owl’s The decimation of B.C.’s spotted owl
habitat and mill towns famously sold population has scientists on both sides
t-shirts and bumper stickers with the of the border asking how we manage
slogan, “Save a Logger, Eat an Owl.” the 600 species legally protected under
Even after logging was halted in old- Canada’s Species at Risk Act. Substan-
growth Pacific Northwest forests in the tial amounts of money are being spent
early 1990s, the species has continued on efforts to recover endangered species
to decline in the U.S. while governments quietly sanction

GOVERNMENT EXPERTS HAVE KNOWN FOR


DECADES THAT THE SPOTTED OWL IS IN
SERIOUS TROUBLE.

In Canada, the federal and provin- the destruction of their habitat. The B.C.
cial governments have known for government, for instance, has approved
decades that the spotted owl was in clear-cut logging in areas it set aside
trouble, yet they have failed to take suf- for spotted owl recovery, while sinking
ficient action to reverse that downward roughly $1.5 million into the captive
trend. Spotted owls were assessed as breeding program since 2014.
endangered in 1986 by the Committee To save the ailing hatchling,
on the Status of Endangered Wildlife McCulligh texted a veterinarian, who
in Canada, when only a few hundred diagnosed an infection and prescribed
remained in the wild. antibiotics diluted with water.
In response, the federal government Thankfully, he survived. Once he
implemented a legally mandated fed- could swallow muscle, the owl was
eral recovery strategy in 2006. It has hand-fed pieces of rat organ meat and

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reader’s digest

Biologist Jasmine
McCulligh uses an
artificial egg to gather
data in the nests of
breeding owls.

later, rodent bones and fur. Today, he mammals she envisioned, not birds.
lives in a spacious aviary at the breeding She was unfamiliar with spotted owls
centre, which houses 24 other spotted until 2012, when a friend sent her a
owls. A retinue of biologists and techni- posting for an unpaid internship at the
cians monitor his health and progress. breeding centre. She loved working
Each late afternoon—at dusk during with the birds so much she stayed.
breeding season—two grain-fed eutha- The facility includes a handful of
nized mice or one euthanized juvenile trailers brought in by the B.C. govern-
rat are delivered to his feeding platform. ment as part of its investment in the
The owl is named Dante, which breeding enterprise. When I visited, an
CAROL LINNITT/THE NARWHAL

comes from the Italian “durante,” mean- intern scrubbed plastic cages for future
ing enduring. “He’s a little champ now,” owl food—350 to 400 mice and rats
McCulligh says. housed in a trailer that was humming
with scuffling and squeaks.
mcculligh grew up in Ontario dream- The centre’s original plan to release
ing of raising endangered species to spotted owls into the wild starting
release into the wild. But it was large in 2018 has been delayed until 2021,

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Owl eggs are kept for


32 days in temperature-
controlled incubators.

in part because its four bonded pairs Scud brought Shania mice and rats
are slow to reproduce. from his feeding tray to demonstrate
Spotted owls usually mate for life, his provisioning skills. When Shania
but courtship in captivity can stretch finally accepted his prey delivery staff
over years. Females are choosy about knew they were on track. They grew
their mates. Shania, the first chick even more excited when they saw Sha-
born in the program in 2008, to par- nia pulling belly feathers in prepara-
ents Einstein and Shakkai, spurned the tion for incubating an egg. The bonded
first two males that staff placed in her pair is now the centre’s most produc-
adjoining aviary. tive, producing fertilized eggs that
CAROL LINNITT/THE NARWHAL

Only after two years of sharing space hatched in 2016 and 2017.
with her third suitor, a young dom- Hoping to increase owls’ sperm
inant male named Scud, did Shania counts, the centre once fed selenium-
finally accept his advances. At first rich sardines to rodents bred at the
the owls sat beside each other like shy centre—but it was ineffective. Veter-
teenagers at a school dance, and inarians have even pruned feathers
preened each other’s feathers. Later, from the captive females’ vents—the

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only “out door” on the bird—to allow “They kind of just wobble and roll
for greater opportunity for fertilization, around a lot.”
according to Ian Blackburn, the man- Clad in sterile gowns, masks and
ager of the spotted owl breeding centre. gloves, McCulligh and other centre staff
“The program has had its challenges,” wiped the hatchling’s waste and mon-
Blackburn concedes. Some captive itored her constantly to make sure her
female owls at the centre don’t breed spindly legs didn’t splay, which could
until they are eight or nine, while one make the owl incapable of standing.
male didn’t copulate and inseminate They weighed her four times a day and
a fertile egg until he was 10. examined the chick thoroughly every
At first biologists took a hands-off 24 hours to ensure good health. When
approach to egg laying and hatching, the owlet was 10 days old, she was given
believing, says Blackburn, that the “owls to foster parents Scud and Shania in the
knew how to do it better than we do.” hopes of encouraging her biological
But in 2011, they decided to artificially parents, Sally and Watson, to lay another
incubate the eggs. egg. The pair didn’t seem at all per-

FOSTER PARENTS SCUD AND SHANIA


AFFECTIONATELY NUZZLED THEIR OWLET AND
GAVE IT SHREDDED RAT MEAT.

Despite the slow progress, McCulligh turbed to find an unexpected hatchling


and Blackburn remain optimistic about in their nest box. The new parents
the breeding program, pointing out that immediately shredded rat meat for their
the owl population at the centre has charge, nuzzling her with affection.
increased from four to 25. Most of the “We got one chick,” McCulligh says.
breeding owls are young and new “That’s exciting. In five years we have
chicks could be released. “We’re still doubled the population.” Whether the
waiting for that bumper crop,” Black- centre’s slow build will translate into a
burn says. self-sustaining population in the wild
Hopes were buoyed in April 2018 worries wildlife biologist Jared Hobbs.
when a ninth chick, Bridget, hatched at Hobbs was a scientific advisor for
the centre. Unlike chickens, newborn B.C.’s spotted owl recovery team from
spotted owls can’t stand. “Their eyes 2002 to 2006. He stepped down when
and ears are closed,” McCulligh says. the provincial government decided to

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Oregon, a northern
spotted owl, in his aviary
at the breeding facility.

focus on captive breeding as a pri- possible. But, he cautions, “Recovery


mary plank in its recovery strategy will require that we change the way we
while continuing to allow logging in manage spotted owl habitat.”
spotted owl habitat.
“I’ve been watching ever since,” says the b.c. government claims more than
Hobbs. According to him, the original 363,000 hectares of old-growth forest
captive breeding population was too are being managed for spotted owl
small and there were challenges with recovery. According to Hobbs, about
breeding—for instance, the owls half of that habitat isn’t suitable for the
couldn’t learn to forage on their prin- species. He also points out that just
CAROL LINNITT/THE NARWHAL

cipal wild diet of flying squirrels and over half of the habitat managed for
pack rats. And a new set of hurdles will spotted owls was already conserved in
have to be jumped if captive-bred owls provincial parks and protected areas.
are released the wild, lacking training Also troubling, the B.C. government
from their parents, he says. allows timber harvesting in 75 per cent
Despite these challenges, Hobbs of the 51,000 hectares it calls “man-
thinks population recovery is ultimately aged future habitat areas” for the owl,

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even though it could take hundreds of total amount and distribution of recov-
years for suitable habitat to re-grow. ery habitat. The definition of critical
“In B.C. it’s still completely legal to habitat was deemed to be “urgent.”
log a spotted owl nest as long as the More than one decade later, critical
owl is not in the nest,” Hobbs says. habitat has still not been identified.
Recovery efforts are hampered Environmental lawyer Kegan Pepper-
because of a provincial government Smith, who specializes in at-risk spe-
decision that there be no net loss to cies, called the delay “absolutely
timber revenues in any proposed shocking, especially considering it’s
future management areas for spotted universally known that the biggest
owls, says Hobbs. threat to the spotted owl is habitat
As a postdoctoral student, conser- destruction in old-growth forests.”
vation scientist Dominick DellaSala “We need a reassessment of the way
hiked through old-growth rainforests we prioritize timber supply of old-
in the Pacific Northwest, hooting in the growth forests and the relation to pro-
hopes of getting a call back. In B.C. tecting these species that have relied
today, he says, that’s next to impos- on this habitat for millennia,” says
sible. “We’ve put them in the ICU of Pepper-Smith.
captive breeding. You’re down to the DellaSala credits the spotted owl
last few and you can’t really make a mis- with teaching him an important lesson
take. If you do, that’s it, they’re gone.” in life as he spent time climbing nest
DellaSala likens the spotted owl to trees, examining what the owls ate,
the quintessential canary in a coal mine. and learning about old-growth rain-
The owl is an indicator of a “complex forests: that humans are part of eco-
ecosystem with all the parts that are in systems and depend on them.
jeopardy,” he says. “And we all depend “They’re one of a kind, they’re
on that ecosystem for clean air, climate remarkable,” he says. “It just saddens
security and clean water.” me when we don’t appreciate life.”
An initial priority of the spotted owl © 2018, SARAH COX. FROM “KEEPERS OF THE SPOTTED
OWL,” BY SARAH COX, THE NARWHAL (NOVEMBER 1, 2018),
recovery strategy was to establish the THENARWHAL.CA

Humble Pie
Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up.
JESSE JACKSON

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.


C.S. LEWIS

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Sorry I’m late. Traffic is


DOWN TO BUSINESS exactly how it’s been
every day for the past
five years and I was not
expecting that.
— @KARENKILGARIFF

Your salary is just your


company’s monthly
subscription of you.
— @HIRANIMEERA

First Day as a Bartender


Customer: I’ll have a
martini, dry.
Me, staring at all the
liquid ingredients: I
don’t know how to tell
you this …
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“John’s our CFO: creative financial officer.”
Office Meteorologist
Co-worker: Hey, can Special Skills I deleted my weather
you take my shift? If you put away the app because there’s a
Me: Of course! clean laundry on the guy at work who always
Me: Hey, so it turns out same day that you wash tells me what the
I have open-heart sur- it, I feel like that’s what weather is anyway, and
gery on Tuesday. I you should lead with on the app never asks how
know it’s kind of late your resume. my weekend was.
notice, but do you — @ABBYHASISSUES — @LEAKYPOD
think you could pick
SUSAN CAMILLERI KONAR

up my shift? Career Goal


Are you in need of some
Co-worker: Sorry, I never in life want to be
professional motivation?
Tuesday is my dog’s the kind of successful Send us a work anecdote,
half-birthday. Other- that requires getting to and you could receive
wise I totally would. an airport before 7 a.m. $50. To submit your
— @MYLA_LOECKE — @TRESSIEMCPHD stories, visit rd.ca/joke.

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EDITORS’ CHOICE

In 2017, thousands of
earthquake-displaced Haitians
crossed Canada’s border,
sometimes through frozen
fields at night, hoping to claim
refugee status. They discovered
how our barriers to non-white
immigrants can be higher,
arbitrary and unforgiving.

THE INVISIBLE WALL


BY Desmond Cole
PHOTO CREDIT TO COME

FROM THE SKIN WE’RE IN: A YE AR OF BL ACK RESISTANCE AND POWER


illustration by chelsea charles

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reader’s digest

In March 2017, a man from Ivory Coast


named Mamadou crossed into Quebec
from the United States in the middle of
the night. Only days earlier, he’d walked
up to the border station at Lacolle and
attempted to apply for asylum. When
border agents turned him away, he
decided to sneak across instead. RCMP
officers would later find him collapsed
in the woods in -15 C cold, having
twice waded through freezing water
along his journey. As he lay in the forest,
Mamadou had thought to himself,
“That’s okay. I want to die. Let me just
die on my way. I don’t want to go back.”

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Mamadou was only one of many earthquake that killed 250,000 and
asylum seekers crossing into Quebec forced thousands to claim asylum. In
that year. By July, arrivals of this kind its first months in office in 2017, the
had increased from about 600 a month new Republican administration had
to nearly 3,000. In August, the number signalled its intention not to extend
nearly doubled again, to over 5,500 these protections.
asylum claimants. Many of these trav- The arrival in Canada of these Hai-
ellers were Haitians who had been liv- tian and other Black asylum seekers on
ing in the U.S. but feared they would foot, often with children, could have
soon lose their status. become a Black origin story for the
Throughout 2017, 8,286 Haitians future. Canada might have bragged
applied for asylum in Canada, repre- about how we welcomed so many
senting 16 per cent of all applications Black people fleeing the United States
made that year, the single-largest group. and the administration of that coun-
At one point, the government deployed try’s 45th president. But by November

WHILE THE RULES CONTINUE TO SHIFT,


THE VALUE OF WHITE IMMIGRANTS
OVER ALL OTHERS HAS NOT.
about 100 soldiers to set up camps at 2017, the detention processing, and
the Quebec–New York border and to eventual rejection, of so many Hai-
assist the RCMP and border agents tians showed that Canada didn’t want
with security screening of the hundreds Black asylum seekers, no matter what
arriving each day. Marjorie Villefranche threats they might have faced south
of Maison d’Haïti, a community ser- of the border.
vice for Haitian immigrants, told the Seven years after the earthquake,
media, “There is an enormous amount Haiti was still dealing with housing
of fake information circulating saying shortages and a cholera outbreak.
that it is easy to come to Canada.... Despite Canada’s historic relationship
They are hearing that Canada doesn’t with Haiti and our significant interven-
deport people.” tions into the country’s governance, we
The U.S. had been offering Haitians have tried to keep Haitians at arm’s
temporary status since 2010, when length in Canada, and to make their
Haiti experienced a catastrophic stay here temporary.

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canada’s immigration system is a tens of thousands of Canadian citizens


complicated set of ever-changing rules moved to the U.S. to enlist with the
that are difficult to understand unless U.S. military and join the war. The Can-
you spend your life studying them. But adian Vietnam Veterans Association
immigration isn’t about an objective set estimates that about 20,000 Canadians
of rules that have dropped from the sky enlisted in the U.S.; some historians
for our collective benefit. Immigration put the number closer to 40,000. This
laws did not apply to white settlers unregulated flow of mostly white men
who colonized this land. Only after they between Canada and the U.S. stands in
claimed their place here did they decide sharp contrast to the strictly regulated
they needed an entry system that strictly flow of racialized people across the
favoured their kin. And while the rules same border over the last half-century.
continue to shift, the value of white The mass arrival of Black people in
immigrants over all others has not. In Canada has historically been marked by
fact, when white people have needed the strictest regulation our government

BLACK WOMEN MADE IT POSSIBLE FOR WHITE


WOMEN IN POSTWAR CANADA TO IMPROVE
THEIR SKILLS AND JOIN THE WORKFORCE.
to flee to Canada, rules have been can design, and the welcome often
changed or simply not applied. doesn’t last. The general idea is that
The Canadian government can’t tell Black people are lucky to be here and
us exactly how many Americans came should be grateful for whatever labour
to Canada between 1965 and 1975 to and living conditions we are offered.
escape being drafted into the U.S. mil- Black people seeking opportunity in
itary to serve in the Vietnam War—it Canada have often already been dis-
just didn’t count. The government’s placed by colonial forces—we can’t
estimates put the number as high as escape colonialism just by leaving one
40,000. We had immigration laws back plundered territory for another.
then, of course, but the government In 1955, Canada launched a pro-
decided to make an exception for the gram it called the West Indian Domes-
mostly white people who wanted to tic Scheme to bring Black women from
resettle in Canada. A migration also the Caribbean to provide cheap house-
happened in the opposite direction, as hold labour. At this time, the United

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Kingdom maintained its colonial rule for cheap labour, a desire to exclude
over a significant number of Caribbean blacks as permanent settlers and a
islands. Black people whose ancestors need to appease Caribbean people in
had been stolen by the British and order to further Canada’s trade and
forced into slavery in the Caribbean investments in the British Caribbean.”
had so little opportunity on the islands British and French subjects from the
that they had to consider labouring Caribbean and other “non-white”
in Canada, yet another outpost of the countries “could only enter under spe-
so-called Commonwealth. cial arrangement or if they satisfied the
The thousands of Black Caribbean immigration minister that they were
women who served as domestic work- suitable immigrants.”
ers in Canada after World War II paved White women who wanted to
the way for many other Black people participate in Canada’s growing econ-
to land here. These Black women also omy—in factories, hospitals, offices
made it possible for white women in and schools—drove the demand for

BUT BLACK WOMEN CONFRONTED RACIST


RULES THAT KEPT THEM OUT OF MORE
LUCRATIVE PROFESSIONS LIKE NURSING.
postwar Canada to improve their skills Black immigrant domestic workers.
and education, and in some cases to These white women needed someone
join the workforce. In the words of Bee to look after their children as they joined
Quammie, a journalist whose mother the workforce. Black women admitted
immigrated from Jamaica for work in as domestic workers confronted racist
the 1980s, “The disregarded work of rules that kept them out of more lucra-
women like Black Caribbean domes- tive professions like nursing. Many of
tics enabled previous and current gen- these rules had been in existence before
erations of white Canadian women to their arrival, as documented by Joan
progress and be included.” Lesmond, a former president of the Reg-
The late Dr. Agnes Calliste, a profes- istered Nurses’ Association of Ontario
sor of sociology and anthropology, and herself an immigrant from St. Lucia.
observed that Canada’s immigration Take, for instance, Toronto-born Ber-
policy for Caribbean Blacks from 1950 nice Redmon, who wanted to become
to 1962 was based upon “a demand a nurse but was refused entry to nursing

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schools in Canada so instead headed While the government evaluated


down to the segregated South. Of Red- white immigrant nurses on the basis
mon, Lesmond writes: “She went to St. of general admissibility to Canada, it
Phillip Hospital Medical College in Vir- additionally judged Black immigrant
ginia and graduated with her nursing nurses on the basis of their nursing
diploma in 1945. When she returned to qualifications. Canada wanted Black
Canada that same year, she became the women to prove they were exceptional
first Black nurse allowed to practise in in order to work as nurses, even while,
public health after getting a job at the in the immediate aftermath of the war,
Nova Scotia Department of Health.” many places in Canada suffered from
Lesmond names other trailblazing a shortage of qualified nurses.
Black women—Ruth Bailey, Gwen These attitudes have shaped a coun-
Barton and Marissa Scott—who also try where today Black people are still
fought to get into segregated Canadian near the bottom of what researchers

CANADA WANTED BLACK WOMEN TO PROVE


THEY WERE EXCEPTIONAL, EVEN THOUGH
WE SUFFERED FROM A SHORTAGE OF NURSES.
nursing schools with the help of Black Grace-Edward Galabuzi and Sheila
churches and unionists. Block have called “Canada’s colour-
Calliste wrote how, in 1952, the gov- coded labour market.” Their 2011 study
ernment admitted a small number of showed that, on average, for every dol-
Caribbean graduate nurses as “cases lar a white man earned, a Black man
of exceptional merit.” (Her paper on earned 78 cents and a Black woman
the subject is titled “Women of ‘Excep- earned 56 cents; white women earned
tional Merit.’”) She suggested that the an average of 67 cents for every dollar a
government did this to appease the white man earned. Today, in addition
concerns of Caribbean people who to overqualified Black nurses who can’t
were essential to Canada’s postwar get a promotion, we have Black people
economic success. One of the condi- with graduate degrees who clean hotels
tions for admitting Black nurses into and drive taxis. A 2019 study on the
the country was that the hospital health of immigrants, refugees and
administration that offered them work racialized people said that “Recent
had to be “aware of their racial origin.” immigrants (arriving between 2011 and

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2016) with a doctorate


are 3.5 times more likely
to be unemployed than
non-immigrants with the
same level of education.”
Black immigrant
labour is more welcome
in dangerous settings,
like airports, garbage dis-
posal and construction.
We have a Temporary
Foreign Worker Program
through which Black and
Latin American workers In 1950, Marissa Scott (left) was one of the first black
from the Caribbean toil women to graduate from a Canadian nursing school.
in extremely unsafe con-
ditions on Canadian farms. These two Ghanaians, Seidu Mohammed
workers put in 12- to 14-hour work- and Razak Iyal, crossed on foot into
days, operate heavy machinery, work Manitoba from North Dakota. The two
from heights, handle pesticides and men wandered through frozen farm-
often live in substandard housing. lands and became disoriented in the
Immigrant farm workers enjoy few of cold. A truck driver who saw Iyal and
the benefits Canadian workers do and Mohammed on the highway stopped
are routinely sent back to their coun- to help them and called 911. Moham-
tries of origin if they are injured on the med, a 24-year-old soccer star who left
job. We’ve done so much to facilitate Ghana fearing for his life as a bisexual,
white people’s access to this country, lost all of the fingers and thumbs on
but Black people’s desire to enter and both of his hands. Iyal, 35, who worked
to stay is constantly under high scru- as a barber in Ghana, lost all of his fin-
tiny and regulation. gers and one of his toes. Canada even-
GREY ROOTS ARCHIVAL COLLECTION

tually granted both men refugee status.


while haitians were the largest single Many Canadians expressed sympa-
group of nationals crossing into Canada thy for the men and offered to help,
in 2017, many continental Africans but Greg Janzen, a local reeve near the
were also risking everything to cross Manitoba border crossing, gave a dif-
the border. Nigerians, for example, ferent account. “They’re criminals,”
filed more claims than any group other he said. “If they’re willing to jump the
than Haitians. On Christmas Eve 2016, border at night and basically break

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the law, you don’t know what they’re had been accepted. Immigration, Ref-
capable of until they’re fully processed. ugees and Citizenship Minister Ahmed
Are they good people?” Hussen, himself a refugee from Somalia,
Under a U.S.-Canada pact called the explained that asylum claims were
Safe Third Country Agreement, people only for people whom the government
cannot apply for asylum in Canada if deemed in genuine need of protection.
they’re coming from the U.S., which is “It’s not for everyone,” he said.
presumed to be safe. But this rule only As our media focused on the U.S.
applies if the person seeking asylum threat to deny protection of Haitians
goes to an official border crossing. If within its borders, little was written
they sneak in from a different point of about the already large population of
entry, Canada is required by law to Haitian immigrants in Canada, many
consider their claim. Even as the U.S. of whom had sought refuge in response
government was enforcing a ban on to decades of violent interventions

“IF THEY’RE WILLING TO JUMP THE BORDER


AT NIGHT,” SAID A REEVE, “YOU DON’T KNOW
WHAT THEY’RE CAPABLE OF.”
Muslims from African countries, even in Haiti, including the ongoing armed
as its president was referring to African presence of Canadian and other United
nations as “shithole countries,” Canada Nations troops.
continued to send Black asylum seek- In 2004, under the pretense of
ers back to the U.S., insisting that it regional stabilization, Canada had
remained a safe place for them. There’s played a central part in the overthrow
no shortage of examples of how Amer- of the democratically elected Haitian
ica is unsafe for Black people. But if government of Jean-Bertrand Aristide.
the alternative is Black people coming As Pascale Diverlus, a co-founder of
here, it seems the U.S. is safe enough. Black Lives Matter–Toronto and the
In November 2017, the federal gov- child of Haitian immigrants, explains,
ernment confirmed that of the 6,304 “The federal Liberal government organ-
citizens of Haiti who had sought asy- ized an assembly of Canadian, Amer-
lum in Canada between February and ican and French leaders to discuss the
October 2017, only 298 had had their state of Haiti—with no actual Haitian
claims finalized, and of those, only 29 officials present. There, they decided to

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stage a coup d’état.” After ousting Aris- testified before a government commit-
tide, thousands of troops were deployed tee said the decision instead created
in Haiti. The coup, as Diverlus observes, instability and uncertainty for families.
“would lead to thousands of deaths of According to the committee’s report,
Haitian civilians as collateral damage in “Having work permits of short dura-
the name of Canadian peacekeeping.” tion (six months or one year) that must
Although a number of countries par- be renewed at a cost of $255 was iden-
ticipated in the removal of Aristide, Hai- tified as ‘a hassle’ that at best was an
tian officials pointed to Canada as one inconvenient loss of time and money
of the key players in the ongoing occu- and, at worst, cost people their jobs.
pation. Haitian senator Moïse Jean- Because it takes Immigration, Refu-
Charles said in 2013, “The real forces gees and Citizenship Canada three to
behind Haiti’s military occupation—the four months to process a work-permit
powers that are putting everybody else renewal request... people are often

IN 2017, CANADA SENT BLACK OFFICIALS TO


THE U.S. TO DISCOURAGE BLACK MIGRANTS
FROM CLAIMING ASYLUM AT OUR BORDER.
up to it—are the U.S., France and Can- caught in a cycle of applying for and
ada, which colluded in the February renewing work permits.”
29, 2004, coup d’état against President On top of the constant fear of depor-
Aristide. It was then that they began tation, families also struggled to access
trampling Haitian sovereignty.” education and health care because of
Diverlus and others argue that Cana- an endless need to renew benefits and
da’s interventions in Haiti have created permits. The government could have
an obligation to help resettle Haitians alleviated so many of these hardships
here. After the 2004 coup, Canada did by simply making the Haitian immi-
put a moratorium on deportations to grants permanent residents instead
Haiti—recognizing “a generalized risk of long-term visitors under perpetual
to the population as the consequence of threat of deportation.
natural disasters, civil unrest or armed Canada reinstated deportations to
conflict.” A pause on deportations may Haiti in December 2014, when Haiti
seem like a benefit to Haitians trying was in the middle of a cholera outbreak
to remain in Canada, but people who caused by UN peacekeepers. In August

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2016, the federal government stopped discourage Black migrants from coming
allowing Haitians who had arrived to Canada. In 2017, it was Black officials
since 2004 the opportunity to apply for like Hussen and Dubourg who put a
permanent residence and to stay in friendly Black face on an old message:
Canada on humanitarian grounds. So Canada thinks it would be better for
when the U.S. confirmed in late 2017 vulnerable Black people not to come, or
that Haitians would indeed lose their at least not to come and expect to stay.
protected status there by 2019, it would It has been more than a century
have been fair to say the Americans since Canada denied entry to hun-
were simply following Canada’s lead. dreds of Indians of Sikh, Muslim and
(Lawyers continue to fight the admin- Hindu faiths, and also some Japanese
istration in court, and the deadline for immigrants, who landed in Vancouver
Haitians to stay in America has been in 1914 on a ship called the Komagata
extended until January 2021.) Maru. Canadian officials cited the

THE GOVERNMENT THINKS IT WOULD BE


BETTER FOR VULNERABLE BLACK PEOPLE NOT
TO COME, OR AT LEAST NOT EXPECT TO STAY.
In November 2017, Canada sent continuous journey regulation, a 1908
Black government officials to the U.S. rule that said immigrants to Canada
to discourage Black migrants from had to travel here without stopping
Haiti and African nations from walking anywhere. The rule was specifically
across the Canadian border to seek designed to deter Indian immigrants,
asylum. One of the envoys, Haitian- as there were no ships that sailed
born Member of Parliament Emman- directly from India to Canada. Prime
uel Dubourg, described the effort by Minister Justin Trudeau apologized in
saying, “The main reason is to tell them May 2016 for the 1914 detention and
we have a robust immigration law and eventual expulsion of Komagata Maru
that they should use the right channels passengers, saying in part, “Regret-
to come to Canada instead of crossing tably, the passage of time means that
in between the borders.” none are alive to hear our apology
This isn’t a new strategy. Early in the today. Still, we offer it, fully and sin-
20th century, the Canadian govern- cerely, for our indifference to your
ment also sent officials to the U.S. to plight, for our failure to recognize all

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that you had to offer, for the laws that U.S., they are touting their efforts to
discriminated against you so sense- prevent more asylum seekers from
lessly, and for not apologizing sooner. crossing into Canada. For instance,
For all these things, we are truly sorry.” Mr. Hussen said many of those cross-
Trudeau didn’t mention more recent ing into Quebec earlier this year were
history, including the government’s Nigerians carrying valid U.S. visitor
lengthy detention of over 500 Tamil visas. Canadian officials raised the
asylum seekers fleeing war and perse- issue with their U.S. counterparts, and
cution in Sri Lanka, who landed in the number of U.S. visas issued to
Vancouver on two ships between Nigerians dropped.”
October 2009 and August 2010 and Canada knows its efforts to restrict
were detained for months. Black immigration to the U.S., and by
Canada continues to discuss poten- extension to Canada, are good for bar-
tial reforms to the Safe Third Country gaining. We may not have invented
Agreement and is doing so as Black this global game of restricting Black
people are those most likely to cross people’s movements, but we know
over from the U.S. The Globe and Mail how to play.
reported in 2018 on the progress of EXCERPTED FROM THE SKIN WE’RE IN BY DESMOND COLE.
COPYRIGHT © 2020 DESMOND COLE. PUBLISHED BY
negotiations: “As the Liberals iron out DOUBLEDAY CANADA, A DIVISION OF PENGUIN RANDOM
HOUSE CANADA LIMITED. REPRODUCED BY ARRANGEMENT
their approach to STCA talks with the WITH THE PUBLISHER. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Money Talks
Billionaires who worry that middle-class wages aren’t growing
enough don’t come along every day.
JEFF RUBIN FROM THE EXPENDABLES

I did things for the excitement, for the dare, the fact that it was new,
not for the money. And too many times I was the first, not the beneficiary.
GRACE JONES, MUSICIAN

Xenophobic populism could well triumph at the ballot box and initiate changes
that will destroy the global, hypercapitalist digital economy.
THOMAS PIKETTY, ECONOMIST

Money is always there, but the pockets change; it is not in the same pockets
after a change, and that is all there is to say about money.
GERTRUDE STEIN, AUTHOR

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reader’s digest

BOOK CLUB

THE GLASS HOTEL


by Emily St. John Mandel
($24.99, HARPERCOLLINS)

what it’s about: The Glass Hotel is a


literary jigsaw puzzle. Three characters
meet one night in 2005 at the eponym-
ous hotel, a stunning edifice located
on a speck of Vancouver Island so
remote it’s only accessible by water.
Jonathan Alkaitis, the hotel’s owner, is
a corrupt Wall Street financier who’s
running a multi-billion-dollar Ponzi
scheme. Leon Prevant is a shipping
executive and hotel guest who loses his
fortune to Alkaitis’s fraud. And Vincent
Smith is an enigmatic young woman
Every month, and bartender who becomes Alkaitis’s
we recommend a new trophy wife. The book spans two
decades and, by the end, one of the
must-read book. Here’s characters will have vanished from a
what you need to know. container ship off the coast of West
Africa. St. John Mandel effortlessly ping-
pongs between time periods, characters
BY Emily Landau and continents, and Smith is the chain
that links those vignettes together. The

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reader’s digest

novel reads like a ghost story at some


moments, a thriller at others, hurtling
unstoppably toward its final revelations.
PONZI 101
What’s a Ponzi scheme, anyway?
why you’ll love it: It’s strange to think It’s a form of financial fraud in which
criminals promise too-good-to-be-true
of a book set in the mid-aughts as a
returns, but don’t actually invest your
period piece, but The Glass Hotel is just
money. Instead, they’ll keep some for
that: a searing snapshot of the world themselves and pay the rest with cash
before, during and immediately after drawn from a new pool of dupes. A vari-
the 2008 financial crisis. St. John Mandel ation on a pyramid scheme, it’s named
skewers the excess of pre-crash Wall after 1920s con artist Charles Ponzi,
Street, the global economy that propped who, over the course of a year, robbed
it up and the moment it all shattered his clients of millions.
(you can see where the glass metaphor Who are the most notorious schemers?
comes in). If the book feels true to life, Police twice arrested 19th century Bos-
that’s because it is: St. John Mandel tonian Sarah Howe, who predates Ponzi
moved from Toronto to New York City by four decades, for running a fake
in 2002, just before the abundance of investment bank and stealing $500,000,
the aughts hit its peak, and witnessed primarily from unmarried women. More
the inflated lives of the city’s elite. After than a century later, in the 1990s, the
her friend got caught in Bernie Madoff’s Russian office equipment company
infamous Ponzi scheme, she decided MMM bilked millions of investors of
to write a book about the people who $1.5 billion—at the time, one of the
lost everything during that era—and largest-ever Ponzi schemes.
those who had nothing to begin with. Whatever happened to Bernie Madoff?
American financier Madoff now holds the
who wrote it: St. John Mandel achieved record for the biggest known scheme,
literary superstardom in 2014 with the having stolen $20 billion from investors as
publication of Station Eleven, a post- of 2008. His victims included many char-
apocalyptic satire about a Shakespear- ities, plus celebs such as John Malkovich,
Kevin Bacon, Kyra Sedgwick and Zsa Zsa
ean troupe trying to survive in the
Gabor. He’s currently serving a sentence
years following a swine flu pandemic. of 150 years, but was hospitalized in late
Currently being adapted into a mini- 2019 for chronic kidney failure.
series for HBO Max, it’s not the only
one of her books coming to a screen JOIN THE CONVERSATION
near you: months before publication, Visit facebook.com/readersdigestcanada
The Glass Hotel was optioned by to share your experience reading The
NBCUniversal. Glass Hotel with fellow book lovers.

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reader’s digest

BRAINTEASERS

2
3
Path Puzzle
Difficult Draw a path that leads 4
from one of the maze’s openings
to the other. As the path winds
from one cell to the next, it can
move up, down, left or right but
not diagonally. It cannot pass

(PATH PUZZLE) RODERICK KIMBALL; (GO FORTH, SUBTRACT AND MULTIPLY) DARREN RIGBY
through any cell more than once.
A black number tells you how
many cells the path passes
5
through in the corresponding
row or column. A red number 5
indicates the total number of
cells the path passes through
in the corresponding row and
column. Can you trace the path? 6 3 4

14
Go Forth, Subtract and Multiply
Moderately difficult Fill the whole numbers
4 from 1 to 9 into the cells, using each number
once. If the three numbers in any given row,
25 from left to right, and the three numbers in
any column, from top to bottom, are A, B and
C, then the number provided for that row or
45 20 25 column is equal to (A − B) × C.

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Dominoes
Easy A standard double-six set of 28 dominoes has been arranged into the rectangle
on the right. Can you draw in the lines to show the placement of the dominoes? We’ve
shown each one on the left so you can cross them off as you find them.

True Blue
Moderately difficult Noah, Esmé,
Shubham and Olivia are wearing solid-
colour shirts. The colours of their four
shirts are red, yellow, green and blue.
Only the person in the blue shirt tells
(DOMINOES; TRUE BLUE) FRASER SIMPSON

the truth, while the other three people


lie. They make the following statements:

Noah: “Shubham is wearing a red shirt.” Can you determine each person’s
Esmé: “Noah is not wearing a yellow shirt.” shirt colour, and whether or not
Shubham: “Esmé is wearing a blue shirt.” we can expect to see Olivia in a
Olivia: “I’m going to wear a blue shirt tomorrow.” blue shirt tomorrow?

For answers, turn to PAGE 111

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reader’s digest

10. The record for the


TRIVIA fastest non-tornado wind
gust was set during trop-
ical cyclone Olivia in
BY Samantha Rideout which country?

11. In 2019, Italian artist


1. Kannada is a language 6. What actor topped Maurizio Cattelan taped
with at least 43 million the 2019 Forbes list of what item of fruit to
native speakers, most the most influential a wall and sold it for
of whom live in which Chinese celebrities? US$120,000?
Asian country?
7. In what resort can one 12. What kills more
2. Now very rare, thanks race in a Star Wars-themed people worldwide: road
to vaccines, what infec- half marathon? accidents or homicide
tious disease is the reason (including war and cap-
why Spain remembers 8. Who wrote the follow- ital punishment)?
1613 as “the year of the ing? “Is there meaning
strangulations”? to music? ... Yes. And can 13. The person who was
you state in so many born Princess Anne-
3. Before humans risked words what the meaning Marie of Denmark would
flying in a hot-air balloon is? ... No.” now be the queen of
themselves, they sent up which country had it not
which three animals? 9. How old was Greta abolished its monarchy
Thunberg when she first in 1973?
4. Late blight, the plant became an activist?
disease that caused Ire- 14. What sport, invented
land’s Great Famine, no in Amsterdam in 1901,
longer threatens potato requires four men and four
crops. True or false? women on each team?
ANDERS HELLBERG/ WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

5. On average, Danes 15. The ancient Egyptian


cycle 1.6 kilometres god Khepri was portrayed
per day. Roughly what as what insect, or some-
percentage of them own times as a man with that
a bike? insect for a head?
blame for around one in 40 human deaths. 13. Greece. 14. Korfball. 15. A scarab beetle.
Aaron Copland. 9. 15 years old. 10. Australia. 11. A banana. 12. Road accidents, which are to
5. 90 per cent. 6. Actor Wu Jing, star of The Wandering Earth. 7. Disney World. 8. The composer
Answers: 1. India. 2. Diphtheria. 3. A sheep, a rooster and a duck. They landed safely. 4. False.

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WORD POWER 9. truism—A: outdated


information. B: belief that
it’s possible to know the
truth. C: obvious truth
Distinguishing fact from fiction isn’t always that goes without saying.
easy. These words describe the many shades
10. four-flush—
of truth and falsehood—and that’s no lie. A: bluff. B: fact-check.
C: behave gullibly.
BY Samantha Rideout
11. taradiddle—
A: misattributed quote.
B: pretentious nonsense.
1. bona fide—A: faithful 5. impugn—A: refuse C: intentionally confusing.
to the original version. to change your mind.
B: reliable source. C: made B: reject a fact because 12. cogent—A: not con-
with sincere intent. it makes you feel bad. tradicting the known
C: challenge the truth or facts. B: claimed by mul-
2. unproven—A: not honesty of something. tiple sources. C: logical
shown to be not true. and convincing.
B: not shown to be true. 6. demagoguery—
C: shown not to be true. A: believing something 13. Gish gallop—
because other people do. A: spread a rumour.
3. calumniate—A: over- B: separating facts from B: bombard an opponent
look evidence. B: make opinions. C: using popular with weak arguments.
false, malicious state- prejudices and dishonest C: get something wrong
ments about someone. claims to gain power. because you researched
C: accept that something it hastily.
is unknown. 7. embroider—A: add
fictitious details to make 14. verifiable—
4. echo chamber— a story more interesting. A: undeniable. B: able
A: environment where B: pay someone to express to be checked. C: sworn
you encounter only opin- a particular opinion. under oath.
ions that match your C: assume a false identity.
own. B: repeating a claim 15. malinger—A: treat
until you are believed. 8. verisimilar— with bogus medicine.
C: effect where informa- A: plagiarized. B: having B: pretend to be sick to
tion tends to get distorted the appearance of truth. avoid work. C: leave
as it spreads. C: untrue yet persuasive. undetermined.

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reader’s digest

WORD POWER 6. demagoguery— 12. cogent—C: logical


ANSWERS C: using popular preju-
dices and dishonest claims
and convincing; as, Rhian-
non made a cogent case
to gain power; as, Bruce for a safe-injection site.
stooped to demagoguery
1. bona fide—C: made by unfairly blaming immi- 13. Gish gallop—B: bom-
with sincere intent; as, grants for the crime rate. bard an opponent with
Although he was forced to weak arguments; as, Gish
break it, Martin’s promise 7. embroider—A: add galloping is dishonest,
had been bona fide. fictitious details to make a but it still wins debates.
story more interesting; as,
2. unproven—B: not Pirouz got some laughs by 14. verifiable—B: able
shown to be true; as, embroidering an account to be checked; as, “If you
Some of the alleged of a family gathering. doubt the river is polluted,
health benefits of probiot- go see for yourself,” main-
ics are so far unproven. 8. verisimilar—B: having tained the ecologist. “It’s
the appearance of truth; a verifiable fact.”
3. calumniate—B: make as, Khuyen’s strength as
false, malicious state- a novelist was in writing 15. malinger—
ments about someone; verisimilar dialogue. B: pretend to be sick to
as, The politician calum- avoid work; as, Sasha
niated her rival, accusing 9. truism—C: obvious spent the day malingering
her of corruption. truth that goes without and watching his favour-
saying; as, Ana’s book ite show’s new season.
4. echo chamber— rehashed the truism that
A: environment where kids learn from their par-
you encounter only opin- ents’ example. CROSSWORD
ions that match your ANSWERS
own; as, To transcend the 10. four-flush—A: bluff;
echo chamber of his Face- as, The other poker play- FROM PAGE 112
book feed, Arun picked ers thought Kira was
up a newspaper. four-flushing when in fact S WE N A C T S
she had a great hand. P IL E M E R E
5. impugn—C: challenge I LM O V I N I T
the truth or honesty of 11. taradiddle—B: pre- N DO S G T
something; as, The wit- tentious nonsense; as, Hal ES N I O R S
ness braced himself, thought his company’s L O G A I E
knowing the defence “holistic framework for M C D O N A L D S
lawyers would try to achieving disruptive inno- P R E K S T E P
impugn his credibility. vation” was taradiddle. H O R S P O S Y

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BRAINTEASERS
ANSWERS JIGSAW SUDOKU

FROM PAGE 106 BY Jeff Widderich

Path Puzzle
2
3
4
3 4 7 8 9
5 9 8 3
5

6 3 4
4 8 9
Go Forth, Subtract
and Multiply
8 6 7 14
6 1 8
3
9
1
4
2
5 25
4
1 4
45 20 25 7 6 2 5 4
Dominoes 6
To Solve This Puzzle

Put a number from 1 to 9 in


each empty square so that: SOLUTION
5 2 7 9 6 1 3 4 8
)every horizontal row and 1 8 9 4 5 2 6 7 3
vertical column contains all 7 4 3 6 8 5 9 2 1
True Blue nine numbers (1-9) without 8 5 4 1 7 9 2 3 6
Esmé is wearing red, Noah repeating any of them; 6 1 2 3 9 4 8 5 7
is in yellow, Shubham is in 9 7 6 2 3 8 5 1 4

green and Olivia is in blue. )each outlined, irregularly


3 6 1 5 2 7 4 8 9
2 9 8 7 4 3 1 6 5
Olivia will wear a blue shirt shaped zone has all nine 4 3 5 8 1 6 7 9 2
again tomorrow. numbers, none repeated.

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presented by m c donald’s canada

CROSSWORD

Perfect Serve
BY Derek Bowman

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

9 10

11 12

13 14

15 16 17

18 19 20 DOWN
1 Short drive
21 22 23 2 St. ___ fire (weather
phenomenon)
24 25 3 Plant with dark berries
4 Classical beginning?
5 Barcelona buddy
26 27 6 An important part of
7 Angular opening?
8 Tennis-match segment
12 Peaceful hand gesture
ACROSS 19 French “Ouch!” 16 Cozy spots
1 Stitched together 21 In your golden age? 17 Fries and salad, e.g.
5 Play portions Work at these golden 20 Catch a glimpse of
9 Ballet movement arches 21 U.S. speed-limit letters
10 “A ___ formality!” 24 Nursery school, for short 22 ___-Magnon (early
11 Fast-food slogan 25 Rung on a ladder human)
13 Sign of approval 26 ___ d’oeuvres 23 Pharaohs’ sacred
14 Police dept. rank (appetizers) serpent
15 Pensioners 27 One of a pocketful,
18 Captain’s journal in rhyme For answers, turn to PAGE 110

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to your
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