Nice Guy Game

Dharam Nice Guy Game
PUATRAINING
PUATRAINING
“I never imagined I’d enjoy what I do; I thought

this privilege was only reserved for sports stars,
singers, performers, etc. However, I wakeup
everyday looking forward to doing what I do, I
have a truly emergent passion to teach others,
and I aspire to one day be recognised as a
master of the art.
This book illustrates my journey thus far and

answers some of the many questions I hear
everyday, amongst others questions such as:
● How to open smoothly

● How to build a connection with women
● How to leave a lasting impression ensuring
women never flake
● How to build a high value social circle
● How to master sexual escalation
This journey is one I never imagined possible for

me. I hope sharing it with you will allow me to
continue with my passion of teaching others and I
hope you gain from it, as much as I did living it”
PUATRAINING
Who Am I?...
“Dharam has been my go-to guy on so many
occasions, the times when we really need a student
to get a result, be it a number or a lay, he always
delivers. In a short space of time he has gone from
student to approach coach to trainer to master
trainer to MPUA and now leads his own sold-out
events. His energy and passion is contagious and
he’s destined for great things.”
Richard ‘Gambler’ La Ruina
“This guy is not only an incredibly great instructor,

but his got that same raw enthusiasm I first had…
which is one of the hardest things to find in the
community, especially in the guys who have been
practicing for a very long time.”
AFCAdam Lyons.
PUATRAINING
Who am I? You know who that I don’t think what I write

I am… I’m Your Friendly, about is everything one
Neighbourhood PUA Dharam needs to know on the subject
;-) of dating and relationships,
nor do I feel it is a blanket
Why does that make me concept that everyone can
qualified to write a book? grasp and relate, it is what I
Well it doesn’t, and this isn’t a have come to know over the
book, its a Mission Statement, last year and a half, and I am
kind of like my Jerry Maguire, 100% certain that I will learn
I woke up in a cold sweat and even more over the next
started writing. This is the year and a half and beyond.
story of a journey, starting For now I hope you enjoy
from a cold, lonely, anxious reading this and gain from it
weekend a year and a half as much as I did living it.
ago to last weekend where
I spent the best part of it It’s a hot sticky day made
breaking up with 9 women in worse by being stuck in this
a futile attempt to show 1 girl horrid suit, sitting at my desk
she could trust me. staring at the clock in the
bottom right-hand corner
How did I end-up here? Well of the screen, counting the
that’s something I never in my time until the working day is
wildest dreams imagined I’d over, again! Then a thought
be writing about, but before hits me, what was it, that
I start talking you though it documentary I saw on TV
and talk you through how channel 4 a year ago, that
to recreate it, I think it is guy could who could get
important you should know any woman’s contact details
PUATRAINING
in five minutes, I HAVE TO ‘Hi guys, my names Dharam,

GOOGLE THIS! I am 21 years old, I broke-
up with my ex-girlfriend a
So number one on the year or so ago, she was my
search engine pops-up PUA first girlfriend, we met whilst
Training, having not read a I was in college and I never
single bit of theory I book went uni so my life revolved
myself in for a bootcamp the around her. When we broke-
following week. up my world fell apart, I didn’t
know what to do, I had never
approached a girl, let alone
MIDDAY sexually escalated, in fact
SATURDAY APRIL I still remember standing
outside my ex-girlfriend’s
5TH 2008 school as I ask her if it was
ok for me to kiss her, it lasted
I walk in to London Night a few seconds as her maths
Club Tiger Tiger, wondering teacher walks passed and
what to expect, I see a room she pulls away. So as you can
full of guys of all different see I still think about it, I have
ages, shapes and sizes.. We since got with some other
go around and introduce girls, but I was just kidding
ourselves to each other myself, I don’t want to be
and to Richard ‘Gambler’ La with them its not as good as it
Ruina, its my turn, I stand-up was with my ex and I wonder
and it goes a little something what I am doing settling, it
like this: is the worst feeling in the
world. I remember when I
was with my ex-girlfriend I
PUATRAINING
saw this show on TV where

this dude could get any girl’s
3PM SATURDAY
number in like five minutes. I APRIL 5TH 2008:
disregarded it being with my
ex-girlfriend at the time, but My first ever daygame
recently it popped back in to session, I am petrified! I
my head, I hit Google and a look around and there is
week later, here I am.’ excitement in the air, other
students are smiling, joking,
Everyone claps, and then raring to go, I shy away and
Gambler turns to me and says: sit back. As we step in to
field, I am told to approach
‘Its hard when you’ve been using the opener given to
with one girl for so long, us earlier that day, buying
especially if its your first girl a ‘Present For A Friend’
and you get stuck in your opener. I try it on a few girls
ways, but you seem like a after some encouragement
kool guy and we can defiantly to approach, they don’t go
help you over this weekend. to bad, then I stop Maria, a
Every now and then we have raised in England, Columbian
some superstar students, and background university
the one thing they all have in student, we talk for near
common, is that they go for enough 40 minutes about
it, they think its one weekend everything from presents
and they do everything the to flags to TV shows and
trainer asks of them and they then we exchange numbers.
throw themselves at it 100%. Something doesn’t feel right,
I know it will flake, there is
I wasn’t that superstar student… no way this girl is going to
PUATRAINING
respond to me. But the bright now we will be given a magic

side, daygame over, so we line that can make women
can go back to Tiger Tiger fall at your feet, when is that
and relax before another line going to arrive, when will
horrid in-field session! that moment pass………….That
moment never came round.
MIDDAY SUNDAY
6PM SUNDAY
APRIL 6TH 2008:
APRIL 6TH 2008:
We start the day with a
recap of the night before, My personal highlight of
I did absolutely nothing the bootcamp arrives, we
except follow a trainer and are all sitting around a big
other students around and table eating dinner and
watch them approach all one guy, a student, turns to
night and now my feet hurt. Gambler and says ‘Hey Can
Other students talk about I have a pickup alias now???’
there success, so I applaud. Gambler looks his usual self,
Then we’re told the next live smiles and says ‘Course,
session will be daygame what were you thinking?’ and
again at 3pm, I am not looking then here it is, highlight of the
forward to it, and when the bootcamp, he turns and says
time arrives, I barely make ‘I was thinking Gandalf, kind
any approaches over the of like the wizard from Lord
hour. I just want to go home, of The Rings and also it starts
but what’s keeping me there, with the letter G just like your
is false hope that any moment pickup alias.’ Now even me,
PUATRAINING
with all the fatigue and mental

and emotional drainage from
HOW THE REST
the bootcamp can still find WENT:
that f*cking hilarious!
I went away and practiced,
I went out daygaming with
Raj, the one friend I told I
7PM SUNDAY was going on this course,
APRIL 6TH 2008: things went a lot better when
I didn’t have other students
The superstar student around me out-performing
who got 12 numbers and me. We take a break to grab
a makeout throughout the a sandwich in M&S, and then I
course of the weekend see her, the first girl I am ever
leaves early to catch a train going to win over with game!
home, he is sent off with a She is grabbing a sandwich
big round of applause from too, so after five or so minutes
all of us. He is now my aim, of hesitation I pluck-up the
that is where I want to be! courage to approach, not
Approximately just over a wanting to look inferior to my
year and a half ago I made friend who has no training
my mind up that he is where I yet. I use the ‘Present For A
want to be, 12 numbers and a Friend’ opener, she spends
makeout, never did I imagine her whole lunch break from
I’d travel further. work with me, walks me
round shops, we get to know
each other and exchange
numbers. This was it, my first
ever solid close!!! I arrange
PUATRAINING
a date the next night, we go and cries to me, so sad and

out, and again as we sit in my so deep that I can still hear
car, and with no experience it today. Right there, then,
of sexual escalation I turn and that is it, I make a decision,
say ‘I want to kiss you’ and I never got in to this to hurt
then go for it. We are together women, I have always been
for about two months and a relationship guy and I just
she ends up falling for me, want to find the one. I need
I don’t feel the same and to hone this skill properly, no
come clean about everything more short cuts, I have to put
about game. She is so hurt in the hard work…GAME ON.
PUATRAINING
Introduction
‘What!! How did he get with never too late to change
her?!?’ your hand.
‘How does he always get What!! How did he get with

the girls?’ her?!?
‘What do I have to do to get Truth is, most of the time, not

the women I want?’ even he knows! You often see
good-looking women with
These three were just many guys you may consider lower
of the questions I constantly value then them, and you ask
asked myself before I began yourself this question. As I
my journey. I thought the started my journey I often
answers were unexplainable saw guys ‘punching beyond
and it was just nature, we’re their weight’ and I wondered
all born different and perhaps what it was they had. I
the set of playing cards I quickly realised that the first
was dealt were not suited thing I had to do was stop
to attracting the women I placing value upon women
wanted. based on there looks, the
most conventionally good-
Answering these questions looking women could have
I quickly learnt that a personality the complete
regardless of the playing opposite of what you’re
cards you’re dealt, it is looking for. I stopped referring
PUATRAINING
to women as ‘HB9’ or ‘HB10’ happily deliver the potential

and began a new binary ‘HB10s’ and it is a well known
scale for women, they would fact that despite game,
now be either ‘HB0’ or ‘HB1’ despite the introduction of
and ‘HB1’ meant that I was dating websites and despite
physically attracted enough the many dating gimmicks
to a woman to approach and such as speed dating, social
find out if she had the other circles are still the most
9 to become a ‘HB10’ and common way women meet
these 9 were qualities such there other halves. Realising
as ambition, independence, this was when I developed
kind heart, confidence, etc. what many refer to as an
However, this was still wrong, ‘abundance mentality’, and
as by only approaching my inner frame began to
women I potentially wanted to grow.
game I was viewing the world
very narrowly, I had to open How does he always get the
my eyes a little wider, as now girls?
I would approach everyone,
HB0, HB1, girls or guys. This He does what his been doing
increased my social circle and his whole life…That’s why he
by doing so my social circle always gets the girls. You
developed into one filled with see, this is a question I asked
many high value guys and about one of my friends who
girls and at any point I could was a natural with women
easily leave the game, send a and I couldn’t put my finger
Facebook message out to all on it, mean he was short, fat
my friends and say set me up and rude, yet always got the
with someone and they would girls. At the beginning of my
PUATRAINING
journey I asked him what it is whilst I was refining my death

he does and he turns to me moves on Mortal Kombat, he
and says ‘Its not hard, you was getting experience with
just go for it and if it hits, it women, this is something I
hits’ Now I thought there has couldn’t relate to him with
to be more then just going until I began teaching others;
for it, although looking back students would ask me
I can now completely break how I do stuff, like run and
down what he was saying approach and I’d say you
and to an extent I have to just run and do it, if it hits, it
agree. You see one thing hits. Of course this was the
that improved my game answer at the very beginning,
immensely, was experience. I had to breakdown every
The more I did stuff, the better aspect of my game down to
I got at it. The fundamental be able teach others and be
difference between me and able to write this book. This
him was that growing up, is the fundamental difference
he was the Bart Simpson of between me and my natural
the class that caused trouble friend now, he does what
and was overly confident as his always done and hopes
a result, he would then finish it hits, where as I’ve broken
school and go to the park it down so that I can adapt
holding hands with the girls to, I’d like to say, any given
and making out with them. I circumstance.
was the quite little kid in the
corner that dreamt of finishing
time so I could run home and
play Mortal Kombat on the
Sega Mega Drive. You see
PUATRAINING
What do I have to do to get

the women I want?
One of my favourite sayings

comes from Ice-Hockey
player Wayne Gretzky, now
I know nothing about Ice-
Hockey, but I believe this
saying can be applied to many
aspects of life, especially
pickup…
‘I MISS 100% OF THE SHOTS
I DON’T TAKE’
First thing I had to do is start

shooting! If I saw a woman I
like, I have to go for it!!
PUATRAINING
Building
Connections
Once I began approaching about her, picture her in
and the more I did it, the your head…. guaranteed
more I realised similarities the first aspects of her you
in the way women, society determine would not be the
and people are. The core personal attributes, but her
principal, which stuck out at conventional exterior; hence
me from very early on, is that the way she looks. Every
if you can build a connection other guy would do exactly
with a woman then she will the same thing, picturing
remember you ahead of all hot women. Wherever a hot
the other guys. What this woman goes, she will always
actually meant took me a be centre of attention, guys
while to put down in to some will want to say hi and she
form of teachable layout, this will always have most of the
being the first introduction of guys chasing her and she
it, although I didn’t want to will spend her time with the
introduce it until I could teach high value guys. If she is at
you to replicate it. a salsa class, the best male
dancer will be the one she
Now I’m going to ask you will choose to spend her
to picture a high value evening with. If she is at a
woman in your mind, think club, the club owner will be
PUATRAINING
the one she will choose to doesn’t happen every time

spend her evening with. If she you meet someone is put
is at a business-networking into words perfectly in Judith
meeting, then the directors, Guest’s 1976 novel Ordinary
executives, CEO and partners People, where she states that
are the ones she will choose ’people are like icebergs,
to spend her time with. We with only a small percentage
have all seen those scenes of who they really are visible’.
where you have an attractive As a result you’ll often hear
women surrounded by a people, and women in
parade of guys just talking to particular, refer to moments
her, trying to be a part of her when they meet someone
conversation or just standing and say ’we just had a really
within her vicinity hoping strong connection’ or ’we just
that she will come over and hit it off’ and yet fail to fully
talk to him…The question you explain this moment beyond
have to ask is what can make that. Most people believe this
you stand out and make her moment is reached because
remember you regardless of you have commonalities with
whether the next night she someone e.g. If a woman use
spends it at the salsa bar to ride horses as a young girl
with the best dancers or at and she starts speaking to
a club with the club owner a guy who happens to be a
throwing free drinks her way. jockey, they will immediately
The answer to that question feel a stronger connection,
is ‘Building A Connection’ more so then if she was
talking to an accountant.
The reason it is difficult to However, you can, as a jockey,
build a connection and it an accountant or whatever
PUATRAINING
else, create connections with

everyone and anyone you
meet, leaving people with
that impression of ’we really
connected’ or ‘We just hit it
off’ and effectively leading to
that unexplainable attraction,
and that is what makes ‘The
Difference’.
PUATRAINING
Introduction To
The Iceberg
THE SURFACE: is to go beyond what
‘Small percentage that is everyone else can see, I
visible to everyone’. have broken this down into
The way to build connections the Iceberg, as follows:
PUATRAINING
The Breakdown
Clearly in order to build a TOO MUCH COMFORT:
connection one has to dig
deeper than surface level, This situation is often the
and there are two things mistaken case of the ‘nice guy
one needs in order to build finishing last’ the stereotype
a connection – Comfort & not being completely true,
Intent. it is just a lack of intent, and
this has been the conclusion
It may seem very simple, and of many studies, one of the
it is once you understand more recent being in 2003
it, although most people where Dr.Robert Glover
struggle to grasp a high level published his work and stated
understanding of either one “It’s not because women like
of the two sides, let alone jerks. Women prefer polite
both. The problem there is over rude, and attentive over
that when the balance is distracted. The problem is the
uneven between the two, way nice guys present these
you don’t lead yourself to positive characteristics. In
a situation of choice from order to appear friendly and
an abundance of women, romantic, these ‘nice guys’
instead tend to end up in think they have to turn off
one of two situations: their sexuality.”
By discarding one’s intent

you end up in the friend’s
PUATRAINING
zone, this isn’t a bad thing if in favour of intent. One went

this is genuinely where you around a club kissing a lot of
want to be, although in the women, yet struggled to take
majority of situations this isn’t them home, nor did he have
the case and guys wonder many female friends. The
how they landed there, but other had a much higher level
more so how to get out of of comfort, but not enough and
there. the intent was still higher, as a
result he took plenty of women
TOO MUCH INTENT: home, but none of them were
the high quality women he
This is a situation that is not was after, no one he could
stereotyped like the nice guy, have a good conversation
and in all fairness I wasn’t even with in the morning, no one
aware existed until about 6 that kept him entertained long
months ago. There were two enough for him to want to take
guys in particular I came across out and no one that he would
on my journey, one a complete consider having a relationship
natural and the other highly with now that he was bored
proficient at sexual escalation. of the one night stands. Not
I wondered meeting these two stereotyped like the nice guy,
why they would even think yet arguably still finishing last
they need help with women, with both situations leading
each showed plenty of intent, to not having the dating and
got plenty of female attention, relationship life one desires.
yet both had two very different
predicaments, both arising
from an unbalance between
comfort and intent, this time
PUATRAINING
Comfort
It is important to understand BASIC COMFORT:
that all women require
different levels of comfort and This is the comfort that most
intent, and in order to gain guys can often offer in some
choice in your life you have form to some degree.
to learn the art of adapting
and balancing this out. But
before we get technical, here DEEP COMFORT:
is where it all begins, comfort.
What does this really mean? Connections: This is what
How do you get it? Where will make her remember you
does it start? ahead of others.
Well I have broken it down

in to three separate levels of
comfort and how to achieve
each:
ASSUMED OR PERCIEVED
COMFORT:
This is the comfort prior to

approaching that everyone
can see.
PUATRAINING
PUATRAINING
Assumed Or
Perceived Comfort
This is the comfort that you walking at night in a dark
are perceived or assumed to alleyway and saw a shadowy
have prior to approaching, it figure walking in the distance
isn’t always there although then if she walked into
you can generate this to a McDonalds and saw a clown
high level so that sometimes holding balloons, little does
you can skip the other levels she know that the shadowy
of comfort and go straight figure could turn out to be
for intent, although playing a police officer and the
around with comfort and clown could be a prisoner
intent is covered in a later on parole. Now you can
chapter, for now lets look at see that if she knew those
how we can play this level of two pieces of information
comfort in our favour. without seeing either, she
would immediately feel more
I am going to give you the comfort for the police officer.
most extreme example I Of course this example was
can in order to demonstrate just to demonstrate a point
there are different levels of that various levels of comfort
comfort prior to approaching. exist prior to approaching,
A woman would feel less for game purposes, this can
comfortable if she was easily be influenced in your
PUATRAINING
favour; now I’ll run through as at his performances he

some illustrations of exact has much higher social proof
methods on how to generate in the form of his already
this influence in your favour: established fan base who
will attend his performances,
SOCIAL PROOF: concert posters, the world
famous concert halls he plays
This is quite a familiar concept at, etc.
and there have been many
proven studies to back it The way in which you can
up. To demonstrate, one transfer the effect of social
of the more recent studies proof in to generating
was in April 2007 when the maximum perceived comfort
Washington Post put famous is to is quite simply lead
violin virtuoso Joshua Bell on situations where by you
the Washington DC Subway create the effect that you
during morning rush hour, have high value, and not
so he took his $3.5million only in club environments
Stradivarius violin and played. but anywhere be it at a bar,
In one hour no one stopped café, coffee shop or even a
to listen and he made $32, bus stop!
yet his performances at
concert hall have lead to him MISSIONS TO ACHIEVE
making millions of dollars SOCIAL PROOF:
through ticket sales. This is
an example of social proof as 1. Go to a bar, order a drink
the commuters were using or tap water at every bar and
each other’s responses to start talking to the barmen or
determine there own, where barmaids making sure you
PUATRAINING
get a name and a handshake. QUICK TIP: When social

Now as you walk around proofing you should not
the staff will know you and be in the mindset that
even later on they will serve you’re picking up women,
you ahead of other people, so approach and talk to
and anyone who sees this, everyone not only women.
will naturally regard you in a Once I was asked to demo
position of high value. a pick-up on a girl sitting at
2. Arrange a lunch or a bus stop, now as opposed
dinner with a friend, prior to to going straight to her, I first
attending, go to the venue opened an old man next to
personally to book a table her and asked a functional
and get to know all the staff question about bus routes,
and even the manager and which he couldn’t answer, I
owner if possible. This will be then asked the same question
good practice for when you to her and she was naturally
go on a date, if you walk in more receptive as id already
to a venue where you know spoken to the man next to
everyone, immediately your her and he had responded,
value increases. A good so she would to, of course
friend of mine compares this when she responded, I
to a scene in The Godfather naturally transitioned and
where Don Vito Corleone moved the conversation on.
walks in to a restaurant Social proof can be small,
where everyone knows him but achieved in many places
and starts offering him stuff, so think about the situation
he is clearly high value and and how you can apply it.
anyone who sees that would
recognise it.
PUATRAINING
PRE-SELECTION: either wonder ‘why are all

the hot girls hanging around
Pre-selection in its simplest you’ or ‘why is he hanging
context for game purposes is around with those girls as
that if one woman likes you, we’re better’ regardless you
other women will naturally get noticed and this builds
follow suite and like you. A a large amount of perceived
really good example of this comfort.
is if you look throughout
history at all the big boy MISSONS TO ACHIEVE
bands, they often have a PRE-SELECTION:
video early on where they are
singing on stage and women 1. Discuss the concept of
are screaming away, as pre-selection with one of
producers know when other your close female friends
women see this they will be and see if you can convince
more prone to liking them her to test this out, effectively
and buying concert tickets to turning her in to a wing-girl.
be one of the screaming fans 2. Start closing all women,
themselves. even if they have boyfriends
and invite them out as friends.
When you hang around with
women you are more likely QUICK TIP: When maximising
to get noticed, no matter the power of pre-selection, I
who you are, as women will often approach women and
naturally be curious as to pre-open by pointing out my
why other women like you. female friends e.g. ‘Me and
From experience it has lead my friend Stacey over there
me to conclude that women were just talking’ or ‘I’m sorry
PUATRAINING
I only have a minute as I have not always as a result of having

to get back to my friend’ (as a neutral friend, it can also be
I point to my female friends). through you having something
elementary in common to
SOCIAL COMMANALITIES: make her feel secure and
drawn towards you e.g. If
This is effectively assumed two people attend the same
comfort and the single arts and crafts class weekly,
biggest reason for you they have a level of assumed
building-up your social comfort. If two people live in
circle, and sometimes it the same apartment block,
can be as simple as being they have a level of assumed
introduced to someone comfort. If two people see
through your social circle. each other every day in the
When a friend introduces a staff cafeteria, they have a
friend you naturally have an level of assumed comfort.
inherent level of comfort as
she knows who you are and MISSIONS TO ACHIEVE
it makes for the ideal pickup SOCIAL COMMANALITIES:
situation. If you can build
your social circle up, then 1. Start saying ‘Yes’ to
you will find yourself in the attending functions you may
ideal situation more often not normally attend, maybe
then not (building a healthy some of those Facebook
social circle is looked at in invites to various events that
the intent section). you’d normally brush off.
Getting out there is really the
The assumed comfort derived best way to build-up your
from social commonalities is social circle and maximise
PUATRAINING
the amount of new people

you meet; thus potentially
leading to more situations
where you have assumed
comfort with women.
2. Join a class or activity that
interests you, what ever it
may be - salsa, street dance,
martial arts, etc. This will
immediately open a whole
new avenue through which
you can meet new people
and put yourself in the ideal
situation of having that level
of assumed comfort in place.
QUICK TIP: Don’t try and

force social commonalities, if
they are there then use them
to your advantage, if they are
not, no big deal just aim to
achieve perceived comfort
as opposed to assumed,
which has the same effect.
PUATRAINING
Basic Comfort
The biggest criticism women necessary to use them all,
have of men is that they usually a combination of two
don’t listen, now obviously or three tends to be enough,
a lot of men would disagree although which two or three
with this and it is not a case they are requires calibration
of one being right and one in accordance to the target
being wrong, it is simply and situation.
that the majority of guys
tend to lack the ability to SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE:
generate and convey across
Basic Comfort. This should As the name suggests
take place whilst opening this is in its most basic
and then throughout, done form you applying your
effectively it will ensure the own intelligence in social
interaction moves on swiftly situations. It is something
in the direction of your intent. that is best developed with
experience, and as my game
The aim of basic comfort progressed I realised I was
is to really to build a good no longer applying social
base upon which you can intelligence, it was a part of
later relay your intent off who I am and the way I carry
the back of it, as you move myself. It can begin from being
on to deep comfort. There very basic, for example if two
are many different ways of women are having a deep
portraying this, and it is not conversation, then maybe
PUATRAINING
it would be more socially MISSION TO ACHIEVE

intelligent to open softly with
‘I’m sorry to disturb you but…’ SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE:
as opposed to high energy
with ‘Hey guys!!’ There are 1. Approach and open women
countless examples of social going direct in situations you
intelligence being used, are not comfortable with e.g.
although what it comes down queues, mixed-sets, shops,
to is simply three things: café, etc. This will push you
outside your comfort zone
1. Being aware of what is and put you in situations
going on with your target where you have to think on
during the interaction or as your feet. Sometimes it will
you are about to open, be a complete blowout as
2. Being aware of what is you are not use to it, but keep
going on in your surrounding doing it and over time you will
situation, and naturally learn the best ways to
3. Being able to deal with act in these situations. When
new situations that unfold I first started, I approached
during your interactions. a woman working in a large
department store on Oxford
These three are the foundation Street, it was one of the first
of social intelligence and if closes I got, although when
you can master these then it I pulled out my phone she
can truly take your game to said ‘no wait’ and went to the
another level. backroom, wrote her number
down on a piece of paper and
brought it out to me, as she
said she would have got in
PUATRAINING
to trouble had someone saw future interactions in similar

her giving out her number. situations, but also get you
From it I learned that in future use to thinking on your feet
when getting contact details and being more socially
off women that are working it intelligent in all interactions
may be better not to pull out in life, be it with women, at
your phone, but to actually work or otherwise.
say ‘I was just about to pull
out my phone and take your EMOTIONAL
number, but I would hate to INTELLIGENCE:
get you in to trouble, would
it be okay or would it be This ability comes in two
easier for you to give me parts: The ability to manage
your number on a piece of your own emotions and the
paper?’ This shows more ability to manage others’
social intelligence, yet I am emotions. Under this heading
still leading the interaction of ‘Emotional Intelligence’ I
in to my desired outcome, a will only deal with managing
close. your own emotions, as
managing others’ emotion
QUICK TIP: Even if you get is covered later on under
your desired outcome from an ‘Empathy’
interaction, always analyse
interactions to work out In order to manage your
what you could have done, if emotions, firstly you have to
anything, in a more socially be able to understand your
intelligent way to make the emotions. The best way to
interaction smoother. This do this is to always be end-
will not only help you in result focus. This means that
PUATRAINING
if you go up to a woman, and moved on to getting a

why do you do it? What is contact number. Getting a
your end-result? Once you contact number was never
understand your end-result, my end-result; it was a part
you can understand your of the process in getting to
emotions; thus being able my end-result, which was in
to control them. A great fact simply having a means
example I can give you of of communicating with her in
this is that up till six months order to arrange a meet-up.
ago I wasn’t an active user
of social networking sites, MISSION TO ACHIEVE
notably the most popular EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE:
‘Facebook’ and as a result
when women would give 1. Always stay focused on
me there ‘Facebook’ details what your desired end-result
as opposed to there contact is and what the process is in
number I would react by order for you to achieve it.
pushing for the number. By Similar to social intelligence,
doing so I would sometimes this is something that requires
put the woman off even when practice and experience, if
she had every intention to you complete the mission
respond to me on ‘Facebook’. for social intelligence, then
Now by doing this I was not it will help you in achieving
fully in control of my emotions emotional intelligence
and this could sometimes naturally, as you will be more
lead to the close flaking, comfortable with who you are
the reason I was not fully and have a stronger frame to
in control was because my deal with any situation you
focus went off my end-result are put in.
PUATRAINING
QUICK TIP: A little while ago although don’t dwell, a man

I began to like one of my in check of his emotions who
female friends, one night we persistently keeps going
were at a nightclub, sitting at becomes very attractive.
a table talking and I decided
to verbalise that I liked her, EMPATHY:
it felt right to me at the time.
To my surprise she didn’t This, quite simply put, is the
like me back, although I was art of understanding the
very much in check with my emotions that someone else
emotional intelligence and is feeling. However, what
as opposed to continuing makes the difference when
this line of conversation and winning women over is the
asking why? I realised my end ability to express the fact that
result of wanting to be with her you understand.
would not be achieved that
night nor through a logical The way in which you can do
argument so I accepted it this best is to break through
for the time, smiled and said the ultimate criticism women
‘okay kool’ and continued have of men: ‘Men just don’t
having a fun night with her, listen.’ By breaking through
the other friends we were this you demonstrate not only
with and meeting loads of that you listen, but also that you
fun new people in the club. understand, making you very
Sometimes it is important to rare; thus very attractive. There
realise your end-result may are many methods by which
not be achieved immediately to demonstrate empathy, I will
and you may experience run through what I have found
some knocks along the way, to be the two most effective:
PUATRAINING
EYE CONTACT: This may her to pause from talking.

seem obvious, although If instead she is talking and
people are often unaware you respond with facial
how much they break eye expressions accordingly, she
contact as they are too won’t have to stop her train
in there head wondering of thought and feel more
what routine to say next or strongly that you are a good
what observational based listener, you understand and
comment to make. As a result she can talk to you.
a woman feels you’re not
listening and it is confirmed MISSIONS TO ACHIEVE
when the next comment made EMPATHY:
is only loosely connected at
best to the last statement she 1. Aim to go out and have
made. It is much better to just interactions with women,
stop and listen, forget the where by you focus primarily
next comment to be made, on having conversations
instead take in what she has holding eye contact and
said and respond via your… responding with facial
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS: If expressions e.g. if she says
you listen to what a woman is she is excited about a music
saying, it is good to respond concert, SMILE, if she is sad
with words, although it is because her dog died, STOP
better to respond with facial SMILING AND LOOK SAD.
expressions. The reason
is that if a woman is talking QUICK TIP: When struggling
and you respond with words, to provide the appropriate
even if along the lines of ‘tell facial expressions, look at
me more’ you are still leading the facial expressions of the
PUATRAINING
person you are speaking to different groups of people

and mirror it. and offering network
opportunities)
ADD VALUE: * Providing validation
When talking to people it is MISSIONS TO ACHIEVE

possible for them to warm ADDING VALUE:
to you much quicker if you
can add value in some way. 1. Go out and try each of the
If someone opened an above forms of adding value.
interaction by going down Note that it is not important
their wallet, pulling out a big to be an expert at all of them,
note and giving it to you, but begin to see which ones
naturally you’d want to speak you feel comfortable with.
to them further. Now this isn’t 2. The above is not a
a realistic method of adding definitive list, just a list of
value when approaching and my favourite five, so see if
interacting with women, as you can come up with other
not many people have notes forms of adding value.
to throw away, nor would you QUICK TIP: If you add value
want a woman who required to many different women,
money to talk to you. There invite them all out together,
are however many realistic you will naturally be unable
methods of adding value: to give any one person the
same value as one on one
* Empathy time, so naturally they will
* Compliments start to compete for you; thus
* Humour making you more attractive.
* Networking (merging
PUATRAINING
Deep Comfort
Having achieved the first two
stages of comfort, you now
have license to go ahead and
aim to reach the final stage
of comfort at which point
you are looking to stand up
and be counted so that it
is you that she remembers
ahead of all the other people
she may come across. It
is not as difficult as it may
initially sound; in fact it is just
applying yourself fully to a
conversation to demonstrate
you are a high value guy that
genuinely wants to get to
know people.
The best way to explain
this is to show you via two
conversations midway
through, one without deep
comfort and one with. In fact
this is the exact conversation
when I first noticed what I
was doing.
PUATRAINING
Conversation 1: Conversation 2:
MAN: So what is it you do? MAN: So what is it you do?

WOMAN: I’m a lawyer WOMAN: I’m a lawyer
MAN: Wow how long have MAN: Wow how long have
you been doing that? you been doing that?
WOMAN: 3 years WOMAN: 3 years
MAN: Wow you must really MAN: Cool, what were you
enjoy it. doing before that?
WOMAN: Yeah its ok WOMAN: I was in Romania.
MAN: So, do you come here MAN: Romania??
often? WOMAN: I was traveling and
really liked it so I decided to
stay there for 6 more months.
MAN: I like your spontaneity,
what did you do whilst you
were there?
WOMAN: I worked as a chef,
as really enjoy cooking.
MAN: Excellent, what’s your
favourite dish?
WOMAN: Well in Romania, I
loved moussaka, I’d make it
all the time.
PUATRAINING
Now you see this is a very small comfort and there after you can
exampleofbuildingaconnection build on this, starting by listening
in deep comfort, but when I had to what someone is saying,
that conversation with her, I am keeping the conversation
more than likely the only guy personal to them and then
that she would have told she digging deeper to find out more
lived in Romania for 6 months about who they are, effectively
and worked as a chef, let alone leading to qualification as a
her favourite dish. This will lead by-product of deep comfort
her to remember me and when (Qualification is the process by
other guys speak to her starting which you determine if a woman
off with the same topic thread of meets the standards which you
what she does for work, they will set out to see if she is right for
be unable to recreate the same you and what you are looking
connection I did, as a result she for; by going in to deep comfort
will remember me and they will this is achieved naturally as a
effectively blow themselves by-product as you continue to
out. Also, when I speak to her learn more about someone).
next, I’ll set-up a date using the Building a connection can be
fact she can cook or she enjoys used with all people guys and
moussaka, which will further girls and it leads to people
solidify our connection. enjoying talking to you, as they
feel like they can share and you
Deep comfort cannot be start to become that guy that
achieved with any one or everyone likes and wants to be
two particular missions; it is around. Of course this does not
something that takes time and necessarily mean you get the
practice. Start by aiming to girl, as there is one other thing
achieve the first two stages of you need to add – INTENT.
PUATRAINING
Intent
Showing intent is the key that “People talk about how many
unlocks the door, without it, sets they do in a night. Some
no matter how much comfort talk about aiming to do a set
you provide you won’t be every 20minutes....
able to get your desired
outcome. You have to know How many actually count
what you won’t and then though?
show it by going for it. So
two points, the first knowing If there IS NOT a girl in the set
what you want, you may be that you would date or want
thinking this is a book about to have sex with, IT DOES
attracting women so its easy NOT COUNT! You might as
to figure out what you want. well be talking to guys.
However, it is important to
build a healthy social circle If the set you are talking to
and lead a life filled with high has no one of sexual interest
value people around you. In in it AND you are not using
fact, recently I read a post on a the set to get the attention of
‘pick-up’ forum that perfectly someone else in the room. IT
demonstrates exactly why DOES NOT COUNT.”
you should focus on building
a healthy lifestyle. The post My response:
was on the Central England
League Forum by Insanity, This is interesting although I
this is an extract: do not 100% agree with it.
PUATRAINING
I think you have to look at then most practicing PUAs,

what game is for different as all I’d have to do is send
people, for some yes it is only out a Facebook message to
about getting women they my social circle and say ‘I
have a sexual intent with, for want to be set-up’ and I know
others it is about meeting that not one of the guys or
new people and building girls would think twice before
there social circle, for some setting me up.
it is about becoming more
confident as a person, and When you only talk to people
for me it was about improving for the sole aim of sleeping
in all aspects of life from with women I believe you
women to work to any social are viewing the world very
interaction I have. narrowly, I think you have to
open your eyes and realise
When you only focus on that talking to everyone
talking to women you want for the sake of enjoying
to sleep with or if the women interactions and not wanting
you want to sleep with will anything in return will lead
notice you (social proof/pre- you to be a much happier
selection) you are verging more free person and a far
on becoming a game ‘robot’. more powerful PUA. A prime
I have built my social circle example of this was once I
very big with many high was at a bar and there weren’t
value girls and GUYS, to the many hot women there, I
point where if I chose to give started talking to a couple of
up game this very minute, random guys at the bar and
I would still be able to get made that comment, they
more high quality women ended-up being very high
PUATRAINING
value and were only having friends. If so, there is one

a pre-drink before going thing you have to have, the
to a fashion launch party ability to show your intent as
later that night, by simply more then friends.
talking to everyone and not
wanting anything, I ended There are two ways of
up in a situation where they showing your intent, either
offered to take me and my physically or verbally.
wing to this fashion party, Physically obviously refers to
so it ended up being a great being seductive and sexually
night where I met more hot escalating, and verbal is
chicks then I would’ve met if I putting it out there with
had just walked in to that bar, words. I am going to start by
scouted the place, and then saying I personally believe
just turned to my wing and that verbalising that you
said ‘Hey dude, no hot chicks like someone from personal
I wanna sleep with here, lets experience has not lead to
go to another bar’ the best results, although
having said that I have only
I think the above forum ever twice verbalised to
thread perfectly puts my point someone that ‘I like them’. I
forward and what Insanity spoke about one time earlier
wrote is not uncommon in under basic comfort when
pickup, and as you can see talking through Emotional
I completely disagree with Intelligence, and the other
it. However, sometimes you time I hadn’t planned it,
see a woman and your intent although the situation came
may be more then just a up due to a misunderstanding.
passing interaction or being Both times I noticed that
PUATRAINING
this almost threw the good is not to say that in all cases
reaction I was expecting off it would be bad to verbalise
course. And having thought your intention, it is your
about it I realised that by judgement call as to decide
verbalising I was conveying whether it would be the right
two things in particular and thing to do or would it be
that was one, that I may not better to show your intention
be confident enough to lead through being seductive and
and show someone I like escalating sexually.
them and we all know actions
speak louder then words and PHYSCIAL ESCALATION:
two, that I was waiting for the
green light before I went in This is now my favourite part
to escalate further and kiss of game and I look forward
her, effectively placing a to pushing the boundaries
lot of responsibility on the of how quickly and how
shoulders of the girl, and smoothly I can do this every
even if someone likes you time. However, this was
there knee-jerk reaction to something that I found to
such responsibility is to take be particularly difficult when
a step back, it is kind of like starting out, and as I began
going for a kiss too quickly, if looking more deeply in to
you lunge in too quick then social psychology and game,
the body’s natural reflex I quickly realised it is because
is that you could be head- it is the one area where the
butting them and the head majority of guys have a lack
goes back as a defence, of experience. That is not to
even if the girl wanted to say all guys lack experience,
kiss you back. However, this in fact one of my best friends
PUATRAINING
who I mentioned earlier is time. I remember I got home

a natural and is amazing at from one date in particular,
escalation, as he has been where I was positive the
doing it since an early age. woman liked me, but I still
I spoke earlier of how when didn’t even go for a kiss, I
we were in high school, I was talking to my friend and
was running home to play he asked me what I thought
Mortal Kombat on the Sega went wrong, I said I am not
Mega Drive, whilst he was sure, and then he said
holding hands and making
out with the girls in the park “Well the truth is Dharam,
so effectively he has been you didn’t even go for it.
practicing since he was 12. You haven’t got enough
experience in this area of your
I went through a stage when game yet, and the fact is next
people thought I was better time your positive a woman
then I was, as I could get likes you, you will again be
most women’s numbers, in the same situation where
have a lot of dates and see you will be wondering why
a lot of women, although it didn’t happen for you. My
my ratio of converting those honest advice to you is aim
women from just women to fuck up…Aim to pull the
I was seeing and dating trigger and escalate every
to actually being women I time, only then will you be
was involved with sexually able to gain experience and
increased significantly when learn what to do…You will
I made the decision that I have to get it wrong loads of
would just start going for it times before you get it right,
and pulling the trigger every but you have to do it! Pull the
PUATRAINING
Trigger! Crash the car! Aim to and through the second thing
Fuck Up!!” I have…
2. EXPERIENCE: ..I know
At this point I made the through doing this enough,
decision to just start going that there are only so many
for it and I found my results ways a woman can react, if
rocketed, from making out the reaction is positive, then
with women in clubs, to that will give me license to
making out with women on go on to the third thing I do:
trains, IN A MINUTE!! From 3. BUILD-UP OF ESCALATION:
taking women home from When the reaction is positive,
dates to taking women home I will not then just lunge in,
from street approaches!! I will instead build up kino
I would like to write here in small steps, with each
about some kind of formula touch being more intimate.
to summarise exactly how If at any stage I experience
I do it, although the truth is resistance, I simply take it
there are only three things I back a step, build it up and
do to achieve these results: try again.
1. PAUSE, SMILE AND LOOK I am not going to write a

IN TO HER EYES. When number of steps to become
talking to a woman, maybe proficient in physically
in deep comfort, I might say escalating, as I believe in
‘I like that about you’ and being natural, there are no
pause, smile, tilt my head and routines, lines or canned
look in to her eyes imagining material and no book will put
kissing her, and then I’ll wait you in the situation of the act
to see how she responds, of escalation; therefore I only
PUATRAINING
have one step to successful first time, and apologised,

physical escalation: although a year and a half on,
I didn’t and trying for it again
1. AIM TO FUCK UP!!! showed persistence, which I
mentioned earlier as being a
QUICK TIP: Never apologise very attractive quality.
for showing your intent
physically. One of the best
kisses of my life was with a
girl I fancied since college, I
was so far in the friends zone
I couldn’t imagine being
anywhere else. However,
a year and a half on I have
learnt a lot and this story is
the most valuable piece of
advice I could give you. When
going in to kiss this girl, I was
positive she wanted to kiss
me back, although she turned
her head, I pulled my head
back slightly, paused for a
few seconds, smiled, tilted my
head and then went back in
for the kiss and it happened.
Normally at this point, I am
100% confident that the old
me would’ve given up after
she turned her head the
PUATRAINING
Game
I have ran through the two for you. For now just shut this
elements I believe are book, go out, live your own
needed: Comfort and Intent. journey, and enjoy every
However true game has a second of it.
third element: Calibration.
You see it is not necessary
to achieve all three levels
of comfort prior to showing
intent, in fact there are a lot of
women out there, with which
if you attempted to generate
deep comfort, they would be
put off as they are not looking
for that in the particular
circumstances you have met
them under, perhaps they are
only looking for perceived or
basic comfort and a strong
show of intent.
Every woman is different, all

will be looking for different
things at different points in
there lives, and it is up to you
to find the ones that are right
PUATRAINING
Who Really
Wrote This...
Well I did…But it is about the Snehal, thank you for
journey thus far and it would letting me go, I didn’t quite
not have been possible were understand it at the time, but
it not for some special people you were right, I had a lot of
in my life. growing to do.
Tom you were the one that Richard you opened so many
smashed my limiting beliefs doors for me and if you didn’t
to show that I can achieve take chances on me, I would
beyond my wildest dreams not be where I am today, thank
when I put my mind to it, you you for taking those chances.
taught me to be happy and
free. Thank you. Adam, you took my raw game
and set it off on the right
Vito you looked out for me path. You really looked after
and spent hours listening to me at times when it must
my different game dilemmas, have felt like banging your
always knowing what to say. head against a brick wall,
I will always be here for you no amount of thanks can be
if you ever need anything, I considered enough, but you
owe you so much bro. should know I appreciate it so
much. Thank you.
PUATRAINING
Thank you to all my wings Johnny, you supported me

who have always helped me through all the hard times, I
and pushed me, especially wish you had some interest
The Bootcamp Boys, The in game and then I’d teach
Awesome Foursome, Ashley you the point of being sh*t
who always put things in hot! Luv you bro.
perspective and Darren for
always being in my corner. Kay, you spent loads of your
lunch breaks at work talking
At times it has been so hard to me on Facebook, as I’d
and I feel like I want to quit, wakeup wondering about
but I hear you playing Mozart stuff and really needing a
and it reminds me of how far I friend, you’d be there, you’d
have come, how special I felt remind me of who I am,
right there next to you as you thanks best mate.
played, and it pushes me to
want to achieve more. Thank Sometimes life makes you
you Angelee. take decisions others will
never understand. You really
To Javine, we met on the inspire me to keep going
national rail that late night last through the dark times, you
train ride home a few months give me hope there are ‘Tens’
ago, I was the guy that traded out there. Thanks Mc-Looser
the McDonalds for a female :-P
opinion, you’ll never know
how much that opinion meant Bro you supported me
to me, thank you. throughout my entire journey,
the one person that knows
the truth of where I started
PUATRAINING
and what I went through to

get where I am, thanks Raj.
You have always been there

listening to my constant
game theories and you were
there at the first event I ever
ran, smiling back at me every
time I turn around and look
at you nervously. Anytime
I feel nervous now I picture
you smiling back at me and it
Supermans me up, I truly wish
you were there by my side
always…Thank you Muffet.
Thank you for reading.
The Journey of…

…Who Am I?
Surely By Now You Know
Who I Am..,
…My Journey Continues
…Your Friendly,
Neighbourhood PUA
Dharam ;-)
PUATRAINING
To find out more about Dharam using a Devil Teddy

Dharam visit his trainers page Bear as a Wingman ;-) :
on the PUA Training Website:
http://www.youtube.com/
http://www.puatraining. watch?v=Z9hpTy2na5s
com/trainers/view/8
Dharam gets caught filming
To contact him for comments, live pick-up videos by the
questions or feedback e-mail: Girl:
Dharam@puatraining.com http://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=MIEN2HCdZQ8
To see Dharam pick-up live,
search ‘PUADharam’ on
Youtube, in particular
A challenge for any opener

Dharam will try:
watch?v=aiKYylGWkCw
A 1Minute K-Close:
watch?v=EeNnkhC8me0
PUATRAINING

Nice Guy Game

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Nice Guy Game

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Dharam Nice Guy Game

“I never imagined I’d enjoy what I do; I thought

This book illustrates my journey thus far and

● How to open smoothly

This journey is one I never imagined possible for

“This guy is not only an incredibly great instructor,

Who am I? You know who that I don’t think what I write

in five minutes, I HAVE TO ‘Hi guys, my names Dharam,

saw this show on TV where

respond to me. But the bright now we will be given a magic

with all the fatigue and mental

a date the next night, we go and cries to me, so sad and

‘How does he always get What!! How did he get with

‘What do I have to do to get Truth is, most of the time, not

to women as ‘HB9’ or ‘HB10’ happily deliver the potential

journey I asked him what it is whilst I was refining my death

What do I have to do to get

One of my favourite sayings

First thing I had to do is start

the one she will choose to doesn’t happen every time

else, create connections with

By discarding one’s intent

zone, this isn’t a bad thing if in favour of intent. One went

Well I have broken it down

This is the comfort prior to

favour; now I’ll run through as at his performances he

get a name and a handshake. QUICK TIP: When social

PRE-SELECTION: either wonder ‘why are all

I only have a minute as I have not always as a result of having

the amount of new people

QUICK TIP: Don’t try and

it would be more socially MISSION TO ACHIEVE

to trouble had someone saw future interactions in similar

if you go up to a woman, and moved on to getting a

QUICK TIP: A little while ago although don’t dwell, a man

EYE CONTACT: This may her to pause from talking.

person you are speaking to different groups of people

When talking to people it is MISSIONS TO ACHIEVE

MAN: So what is it you do? MAN: So what is it you do?

I think you have to look at then most practicing PUAs,

value and were only having friends. If so, there is one

who I mentioned earlier is time. I remember I got home

1. PAUSE, SMILE AND LOOK I am not going to write a

have one step to successful first time, and apologised,

Every woman is different, all

Thank you to all my wings Johnny, you supported me

and what I went through to

You have always been there

Thank you for reading.

The Journey of…

To find out more about Dharam using a Devil Teddy

A challenge for any opener

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