“The Love in My Life” was written by Boyce*.

The story was about passion* love of

a young couple​. The girl, who named China, was born in a ​classy (high-class)​ family, where

everyone ​try (tried) ​to ​satisfy everything she needed (spoil her, or dote on her [​if use spoil,

delete “tried”​])​. While the boy, who named Jeremy, was born ​with the lack of family’s

care*(in a family that did not really care for him)​. Eventually, ​they had pregnancy (China

was pregnant [​normally, no one says they had pregnancy​])​. From that moment, ​their love was

changed [​what do you mean by their love change? You mean they change feelings toward

each other or what?​]​. Their life became more ​struggles (struggling; [​after became more, it

should be adjective, if use nouns, you should use “their lives had more struggles or burdens,”

because struggles does not sound very nice as burdens in this case.])​ ​ than before. That ​was led

(led; ​[don’t include “was”, ko phai truong hop bi dong!!!])​ ​ Jeremy to ​became (become; ​[no

past tense verb after “to”!!!!, this is the 3rd time or more you made this mistake, I thought you

already edit your work!!!????]​)​ a psychopath. ​There are two reasons that lead Jeremy to

become a psychopath ​such as (which are)​ the unwanted pregnancy and the childishness of his

girlfriend.

First of all, they ​didn’t (did not, ​[do not use short way, you have to write out the whole

thing when you write]​)​ want to have pregnancy while attending school. The girl said, “I will

never, never be ​life (like?, ​[double check with your book, “life” here does not make sense]​)

those breeders that bring their puffed-up squalling little red-faced babies to class” (Boyle 305)

that demonstrated for their ​acknowledge* (realization) for (acknowledgement of, ​[i think

acknowledgement is better than realization]​)​ the burdens and responsibilities if they had a baby
while attending school. They knew that having a baby at that time was the ​worst happen for

(the worst thing to them, ​[i think this way it is clearer :)])​ ​ them. For instance, they would have

to bring the child to the classroom ​as (as China said,)​ “those breeders that bring their puffed-up

squalling little red-faced babies to class” (Boyle 305). Also, one of them had to find a job to

sustain (support, ​[it is more common to use support than sustain])​ ​ for their new family****.

[​here you can add more details like, “at the same time, it is very difficult for them to find

well-paid jobs when they do not even complete high school”]​

Additionally, they could lost ​many things. Especially, Jeremy (...many things,

especially, Jeremy, who)​ would lost much more than China​[​you can combine 2 sentences

together so it can sound better​]​. He knew that “*he couldn’t have a life” (Boyle 306),

“*couldn’t be a freshman” (Boyle 306), or even “*couldn’t wake up in the morning and tumble

into the slow steady current of the world” (Boyle 306). However, their ​reckless (recklessness)​,

enthusiasm, and ​passion (passionate, ​[passion is a noun, you must use adjective before noun,

which is “love” in this case])​ ​ love led them ​went off the plan ​[explain what do you mean by

“went off the plan”, because i don’t know what “plan” you are talking about, did they make

plan for future before the girl was pregnant or what?]​. And when Jeremy realized that his

girlfriend had pregnancy, he became ​anxiety (anxious, ​[use adj after became, if you don’t know

what is the adj version of a word, google it, this would sound like if you use noun here, “anh

ay tro thanh 1 moi lo au”??!!! hmmmm])​ ​ and stressful. That was why he ​repeated with (kept

telling)​ his girlfriend for a hundredth time ​that​, “*You’ve got to get rid of it” (Boyle *306) and

“go to a clinic” (306) ​which (. It) ​illustrated the fear of Jeremy. He knew that he would lost

everything that he was having and would have*.

 Moreover, he would ​lost (lose, ​[remember!!! “lost is past tense of lose”]​)​his freedom,

which was what he always desired. He wanted to experience every moment of his youth. As his

thought was, “you’ll only be a high-school senior once in your life. Relax. Enjoy it. Or at least

experience it” (Boyle 303) ​that he stated that(. This showed that he)​ wanted to experience and

enjoy as much as he could. By that reason, he ​scared (was scared, ​[phai dung tu bi dong,

because if not, it will mean that this guy tried to scare something away]​)​ about ​their (China’s,

[should use china’s pregnancy here, because only she is pregnant, not the guy])​ ​ pregnancy,

which would cause the destruction for his freedom.

Moreover, his life would become more complicated than before. He would have more

responsibilities ​for not only himself, but also his child and his girlfriend (because he had to

take care for his girlfriend and the child)​. Thus, he would have no time for himself when they

had a child. That was why he was not willing to have any child.

Furthermore (therefore or as the result)​, his fear about the unwanted pregnancy

brought (caused; ​[if you want])​ ​him an illusion when he heard his girlfriend said, “get rid of it”.

Instead of ​argue (arguing; ​[use V-ing after “of”])​ ​with his girlfriend or ​ask (asking)​her ​what

did she mean (what she meant;​[question? Call me! Too long to explain here])​ ​, he

automatically interpreted it as “kill the baby”. This was a result of misunderstanding along with

the fear ​for himself (fear that he would lose everything)​of losing almost everything he had

desired​. Thus, it controlled him to commit murder to his own baby by throwing the baby to the

dumpster.
 Therefore, the pregnancy as a result of their immaturity had impulsed a significant

pressure upon Jeremy. Under that pressure, Jeremy had to find another way to ​release him out

of it (escape from reality)​. Thus, kill the baby was the only way that he could find.

==

Secondly, the childishness of his girlfriend ​build (built or builds, ​[you want to use past

tense or present tense? If past tense, then you should use “t” instead of “d”, if present tense,

you missing “s”]​)​ up more stress on Jeremy. China lived in the spoiled environment by her

parents and by their standard of livings (Boyle 306). Thus, her view about this problem was

different from Jeremy’s view. A​lso, as the quote stated that she was spoiled, that was why she

denied the idea of finding a doctor to do the abortion when Jeremy mentioned in the motel

[​being spoiled and denied the idea has nothing to do with each other. So, it doesn’t make sense

there, rethink about it again, what you want to say here​].​ Additionally, she spent most of her

time ​for (to)​ study, according to China, “she even prepared book for their camping trip” (***).

Thus she had less experience when facing to a problem like this. Especially, this problem was

pretty (very, [​don’t use pretty here, “pretty” is not common in writings, usually use very or

little or etc.]​) sensitive for a good girl, who just ​stepped foot into college​* (​began her college

life, or just became freshmen in college)​, like China. Hence, she would not want anyone else to

know.

Moreover, the spoiled habits from her family ​had some responsible (was one of the reasons)​*

for the ignorance of China about Jeremy’s thought. She always thought that for whatever she did,
Jeremy would avocade her. Thus, it made her more rely on Jeremy. However, by doing that, she

unintendedly created more ​burdens for (burden on)​ him. Therefore, even though Jeremy was

under pressure, China seemed helpless due to her childishness.

==

Finally, Jeremy was a of the character, who suffer the most in his mental. While solving their

problem, which already caused many fears in him, he also had to adapt with China’s

childishness, which ​causing (caused) ​more difficult situation for Jeremy. Thus, ​for all of it

(because of those reasons, it) ​made him became a psychopath because of an unsolvable

problem.