Perfectionism in Gifted Learners

A presentation by Greg Gray, Rena Ingram, and Carmen A. Kinnebrew

What is perfectionism?

 Perfectionism is the need to be or appear to be perfect.

 Writer and research professor, Brene Brown, states “Perfectionism is not the same thing as
striving to be your best. Perfection is not about healthy achievement and growth…it is used by
many people as a shield to protect against the pain of blame, judgment, or shame.”

Producers of Perfectionism

Perfectionism in students may originate from:

 Consistently receiving extreme praises from adults during their adolescent development (You’re
the best!)
 Models of perfection
 Continuous successful experiences, i.e. consistent recognition of achievement (Honors Day &
Sports Banquets)

Pressures of Perfectionism
 Pressures of perfectionism may serve as motivation that lead to positive achievement. Yet, they
may also result in underachievement.
 The gifted learner may procrastinate or avoid completing tasks; their anxiety over performing
below their personal expectations hinders their progress.
 Fear and anxiety may bring on ailments such as:
-Stomachaches
-Headaches
-Depression
 As perfectionists, gifted learners may also become defiant or rebellious in order to shift the focus
from their fears.

Provocations of Perfectionism

 Unhealthy perfectionism affects more than just the perfectionists.

 A perfectionist may unconsciously demean others and point out how imperfect they are.
• EX: A student frequently offers unsolicited advice that serves as reassurance and proof of
their intelligence.

 Spouses, siblings, or friends may feel angry and oppositional.

• Family members may experience depression or feelings of inadequacy, unable to measure
up to the perfectionist’s expectations. Moreover, the same applies for the perfectionist
who is a spouse or friend.

Oh, no! My child is a perfectionist! (An implementation plan)

 Immediate Actions
1. Share mistakes that you’ve made and lessons that you’ve learned.
 2. Help the learner understand that mistakes are okay.
3. Read about successful people who have made mistakes.
 Transitional Actions
4. Revise the types of praise that you give. Help the learner to know that it’s about doing
their best, not being the best.
5. Explain to the learner that there is more than one way to accomplish a task.
 Ongoing Actions
6. Help the learner laugh at their mistakes.
7. Help the learner accept evaluation and constructive criticism.
8. Teach and model flexible habits and routines.
9. Model healthy excellence.
10. Help the learner to be empathetic and congratulate others who may achieve more.

“The learning doesn’t come in the comfort, it comes in the struggle.”