OVER

MY SHOULDER

By

Rachel Peck

OVER MY SHOULDER

7th April 2015
The plain and simple truth is that no good was ever going to come of it.
Sometimes people just make bad decisions. That’s all. I’ve spent the last six
months scratching my head and looking over my shoulder, trying to figure out
why I ever thought I could get away with it. I’m haunted by thoughts of how
different things could have been if I’d just made the right decision. But I
didn’t. Of course. I was far too cock sure, too arrogant to imagine they would
ever know it was me.
They say your life flashes before your eyes when you know you’re going to
die. It’s true. Not your whole life, but when I heard the familiar crack of his
knuckles, I saw a condensed version of The Life of Alex, the main highlights.
It’s funny how your mind does that, it reminds you how great it really was, just
as you are about to lose it. Maybe it’s supposed to make you fight for what you
had, but sometimes there’s just no point. Like with me. I know I have to die.
I’ve always known it would come to this.
The moments my memory lands on are so real, so vibrant that I can feel my
throat strangling a sob. I am a man, I do not cry. Even when I am at the point
of execution and I know I will never see my beautiful wife or children again. It
is too much to bear, I want them to just do it. I do not wish to feel this any
more.
I think of our wedding day, ten years ago. St. Patrick’s was packed with
friends and family. I turned my head as the Wedding March began to play and
there she was, a halo of light surrounding her. She looked coy and so young;
her beauty was simply breathtaking. As she stood next to me, she looked into
my eyes and I reached underneath her veil to brush her russet curls from her
face. In that moment, there was no-one else in the room. Her huge, brown
eyes, normally dark with sorrow, were alight and I loved her so much it hurt
deep inside. I promised her I would always look after her. I meant it at the
time.
Then my brain is done with that memory. I can see my children, the day I
left home for good. Isobel, Darcy and Callum, the tiny people who taught me
all about responsibility and unconditional love. The moment Isobel was born,
with her eyes as big as dinner plates, I knew she would be stunning, just like
her mother. She was such a good little girl. She seemed to find being a baby a
lot easier than we found being parents. We muddled along, but by the time
Darcy was born, we had a pretty good idea of what we were doing. I can see
her now, with her mass of black hair, kicking and screaming as though she
resented us for stealing her from the cosy womb. Darcy knows what she
wants, she always has. I think she always will. When Callum was born, I was
so happy to have a son. Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved him just as
much if he had been a girl. It’s what every man dreams of, though, isn’t it? A
son, to carry on the family name. Callum Alexander Murphy. My heir. I hope
he makes less drastic, life altering mistakes than me. He’s tough, he has to be
with two older sisters, which is good because so much weight will rest on his
shoulders.
***
5th October 2014
I’m in. I can’t believe how easy it was. Adrenalin has flooded my body and
I feel as though I’m floating, untouchable. Ricci will be so angry when he
realises he gave me the codes for the gate and house. He will probably throw a
few things around and then cower at his father’s feet. But I don’t care, I’ll be
miles away by then.
Once I’ve calmed my breathing and heart rate, I head straight to Vinnie’s
office. The safe is exactly where I remember it and I’m relieved to see it is still
the old, uncomplicated behemoth it always was. Even so, cracking the code
was always going to be the difficult part. This, I was unable to tease out of
Ricci. I know it’s a six digit code and the obvious combination is going to be a
birthday. Someone Vinnie cares about, so I try Ricci’s date of birth; 190779.
Nothing. Luckily, I have prepared for this. I went to the cemetery yesterday
and made a note of Ricci’s mum’s date of birth, and her death. I enter these but
still nothing. I’m starting to panic now, I was convinced it would be one of
those two - his son or his late wife. Who else does he love? Maybe…No,
surely not. I know as I’m entering the numbers it is impossible. But, wait a
minute, a green light. I turn the handle and I’m in! It was my date of birth.
Ricci always said Vinnie loves me more than him, his own son. Looks like he
might be right. Poor Ricci.
I empty the contents of the safe into my bag and make my way back to the
front door. As I pass through the hall, there is a huge, life size painting of
Vinnie and I find my feet halting next to it. I look up and my eyes lock on
Vinnie’s for a couple of seconds and in that moment I know that I have just
signed my own death warrant. I must get home as quickly as possible, Nadine
needs to know what I’ve done.
***
th
7 April 2015
I already know whose faces I will see as I turn around to acknowledge their
presence. Vinnie won’t be here, he’ll be somewhere else, somewhere more
remote than the bathroom of a coffee shop, waiting for his special delivery.
I am right, of course. There is Ricci, my best friend and the reason I was
able to do this. I smile when I see he is still wearing those ridiculously
expensive Italian shoes. He has always loved fine things, even as a child he
had the best label clothes, an indulgence Vinnie seemed happy to provide. I
look from Ricci to Alfredo Antonini. Dear Freddy. I have always liked Freddy,
he doesn’t get off on the violence the way a lot of the Family do. I note he is
wearing a suit and tie, which means he is on official business and I am in
trouble. The Arizona heat is creeping gradually up his neck to his face and I
want to tell him to loosen his shirt. But that’s not an option.
Cesare and Maurzio are the two I fear most from this meeting. Even so, I
have to stifle a laugh when I observe Cesare’s classic Blues Brothers outfit.
Hat and sunglasses, complete with oversized black suit. He is giant sized and
wiry, it doesn’t matter what he wears, he will always look scruffy. Or, at least,
that’s what Nadine used to say. Nadine was always scared of Maurizio. Most
people were. With his pitbull face and snarl, he enjoyed sinking his teeth into
the flesh of others. His bark was nowhere near as bad as his bite.
Nadine. I am trying not to think of her, of what I have done to her. But I did
this for her. She wanted revenge, she had been waiting for someone to make
Vinnie pay since she was fourteen. I promised I would do that, I promised I
would get justice for her father and sister. We both knew I could never harm
them physically, Nadine is much too good to have wanted that to happen,
anyway. But I promised I would make Vinnie pay somehow. I never even
considered the consequences. I never thought about my payment for making a
fool of him.
At least Nadine and the children will be financially comfortable for the rest
of their lives. Ma and Dad will help her out with babysitting and moral
support. Of course, they will be devastated by this. Sam will have to come
back from London for my funeral. He’ll read the eulogy, he’s good at that kind
of thing. My eulogy. I am struck with an image of my mother folding in half,
the pressure of losing a son too much to bear. I remember Mrs Harris from our
apartment block folding like a deck chair when her son, Mikey, died in Iraq. I
brush a tear from the corner of my eye, hoping my captors haven’t seen my
weakness. “Come on, boys. Let’s get on with this,” I say.
***
5th October 2014
As I pull onto my driveway, my head is buzzing, there is so much to do, so
much to say. Checking behind me and up and down the street as far as I can
see, I cradle my swag and enter our house. I lock the door behind me and
quickly run through the kitchen to secure the back door.
Nadine is baking bread. Its heady aroma reminds my empty stomach how
hungry it is. “There you are,” Nadine says as she enters the kitchen, “I was
about to send out a search party.”
She looks so pretty, her wild auburn curls tamed in some kind of bun and
her eyes, those vivid, dinner plate eyes, as bright as the day we married.
“Honey, what’s up?” she asks, her smile faltering. I’m starting to worry her
with out even speaking.
“OK. We need to sit down. Come on, let’s go to the living room,” I’m
stalling because I realise I don’t know how to tell her. As we sit, she takes my
hand and it feels like my heart will physically break. “I’ve done something,
Nade, something big.”
“OK,” she says, her voice, rightfully, laden with worry.
“Sweetheart, Vinnie, Vincenzi Ginelli, destroyed your family when you
were just fourteen years old, right?”
“Yes, but - “
“You’ve wanted revenge, wanted him to suffer the way you have every
single day since then, right?”
“Oh my God, Alex, what have you done? You haven’t hurt him, have you?
Please say you haven’t killed him. Oh my God, Alex. How could you?” And
so, I have reduced my ever level headed wife to a quivering mess. She is right,
what have I done?
“No, Nadine, no. I haven’t hurt Vinnie or Ricci or any of the Family. But I
have made them pay a little bit. Now, just listen to me, OK? I need to be
quick. I broke into the mansion. I hacked the safe and I took everything that
was in there. That’s all. Nobody hurt. Nobody saw me and I disabled all
CCTV, so we’ll be fine, don’t worry. But just in case. I have a false bank
account, false identity, passport, driver’s license, I’ve rented a house in
Arizona and I have plans in place to get there without detection. Now, if I need
to do that, you will be able to contact me through PO Box, number 55341. It is
at the post office on Main Street, Benson, AZ. OK?”
“What? What?I don’t understand, I - “
“Nadine! Listen, this is important. You must remember the PO Box details.
I can’t write them down, no paper trail, please try to concentrate.” She is
crying now, I’m not sure whether it is because of what I have just told her or
because I shouted at her. Probably the shouting, I’m not sure she has taken in
the rest of it.
Nadine looks into my eyes and says, with a heavy helping of incredulity,
“Are you crazy? Of course he’ll find out it was you. No-one ever gets away
with crossing Vincenzi. I think my Dad is proof of that. You’re dead, Alex, you
do know that, right? You’re going to leave us at his hands, just like Dad and
Cara did. I can’t believe how selfish you are.”
As she crumples and sinks into the chair, I wish with all my being I could
go back 48 hours and not do this. It’s too late, though, so I say, “I’m sorry,
Sweetheart. I thought I was doing the right thing. I hate him for what he did to
you, I just wanted to make it right.”
The doorbell rings, stabbing the tension between us and we look at each
other, faces as white and fearful as a condemned man’s. I hide my guilt in the
sideboard and go to answer the door. It is Ricci, knuckles cracking as he turns
to tell me we need to go for a walk. I can barely breathe, or talk, as I close the
door and walk by his side. Luckily, I don’t need to say very much. Ricci has a
lot to say, regarding a burglary at the mansion this morning. It is clear
immediately that they have no idea it was me and I start to relax a little, but
then he deals the killer blow. “Dad’s looking at the CCTV right now, he’ll find
out who did this. All of the cameras are broken except one. Dad hid it inside
the safe, a tiny one that you would never know is there. How clever is that?!”
Suddenly the ground is swirling beneath my feet, I am unsteady and
fighting sickness. Ricci is still speaking, but I can’t understand his words. All I
know is I have to get home as soon as possible. I steady myself and say, “Oh,
Rich. That sucks, Man. You must let me know if there’s anything I can do.
But, listen, right now I have to get back to Nadine. She’s been up all night with
the baby, he’s got colic, won’t stop crying. I told her I’d work from home today
so she can get some rest. But do let me know if I can do anything, won’t you?”
I realise I’m almost running as Ricci pulls away from my house. I’m glad I
packed a get away bag yesterday. I wonder if I’ll always be living with a get
away bag from now on. I explain to Nadine what is happening as I grab the
stolen goods to see exactly what I have. There is cash, lots of cash, Nadine
counts it and there is $50,000. More than I expected. I give Nadine my new
bank account details and promise to deposit $30,000 when I stop in Columbus
to sell the jewelry. There are three expensive looking necklaces, three
bracelets and a bag with twenty jewels in. They look like diamonds. Wow.
This could be good. I will telephone my contact in Colombus as I’m driving to
set up a meeting. There’s also some papers and a book but I don’t have time to
look at them now. I remind Nadine of the PO Box number, where she can
contact me in an emergency and I promise I will let her know when it is safe to
join me. I do not give her my new address, I don’t want to involve her any
more that I already have. Which is far too much. She drives me to the vehicle
rental place in town where I cease being Alex Murphy and become the new
me; James Montgomery and I hire a van with darkened windows for the start
of my get away.
***
7th April 2015
So Vinnie sent his Favourite Three, and Ricci. I make sure I get eye contact
with Ricci, hoping he will remember a little of the friendship we had and help
me out of this mess. It is a few seconds before Ricci looks away and I am sure
that, in that moment, he wishes he was anywhere else but here. He takes a
cigarette from his packet and lights up, despite the fact we are in an enclosed
public space. I have always secretly admired the way he tosses the rules aside
like a piece of rubbish.
I lost count of the amount of times he persuaded me to play hooky from
school. There was one blisteringly hot summer, it must have been 1992. We
had spent the whole of the holidays hanging out by the fountains on 10th. We
were fledgeling teenagers and our hormones were driving everything we did.
There was a group of girls, they must have been a couple years older than us,
they used to gather in the park next to the fountains in their bikinis. When I
think of them now, I see tanned skin and exoticism, I have the salty taste of
anticipation on my lips, I am 13 again. What I wouldn’t give to be back there,
nervously flirting and learning about life.
I smile with the memory, but quickly my expression contorts into pain. My
scar is itching and I move my hand to my stomach. Ricci sees me do this and I
think we are both drawn to the same memory. One dark night in March 1996,
we had been driving around in Ricci’s car, not really doing anything but
chatting up girls on the sidewalk. Ricci pulled over to go buy some smokes
and we both got out the car. As we walked towards the late night store, a lad
who must have been our age charged us, shouting, “Ricci Ginelli?” I swore at
him and he assumed I was Ricci. The next thing I knew, he plunged the knife
in. The pain was liquid hot and the agony of having my insides sliced seared
through me. Ricci always said he owed me one after that. I don’t think he still
feels that way, though.
Ricci was always less confident than me. You wouldn’t think it if you
encountered him these days. He’s all mouth and violence, always ready to
fight, always looking for his father’s approval. He’s still that shy little boy who
found the world really scary and whose only wish was for his dad to give him
a hug and tell him he was good enough. I feel sorry for him, I hated the way
Vinnie treated him. I feel an ache deep in my stomach when I think of my
eighteenth birthday. I had a big party, Ma must have invited everyone we
knew. Somehow, I never worked out how, after Dad’s speech, thanking
everyone for coming and saying how proud he was of me and my academia,
Vinnie strode to the microphone and made a speech of his own. Like I was his
son. Of course, nobody dared stop him. He draped his smoky hand around my
shoulder and spoke of me as the son he never had, he lamented the loss his
business felt for me not agreeing to join, then he gave me his gift; a gold ring,
a perfect fit for my pinky. It had a black background and my initials in tiny
diamonds, it was exactly the same design as his own ring. I remember looking
up and seeing Ricci pushing his way through the crowd and leaving the hall.
As soon as I was able, I went looking for him. He was outside smoking a spliff
and drinking a beer. “Ricci,” I said, “I’m so sorry - “
“Don’t be,” he cut in, “it’s OK. He’s always wished you were his instead of
me. We both know it. Everyone knows it. Don’t sweat it, it’s not your fault.”
He didn’t look at me once whilst he said this. I don’t think he wanted me to see
how red his eyes were, or the little lava trails of wet on his face.
Standing in this coffee shop bathroom, with Ricci stood in front of me, my
fate in his hands, I only hope that Vinnie is proud of him now. I can’t be angry
with him. He’s suffered enough and I am way too tired from living a lie for the
last six months.
***
th
5 October 2014
I had wanted to change my physical identity before I left but there wasn’t
time. Luckily, the van rental guy accepted my new license without question. I
must make sure I am prepared when I get to Harrisburg and go to the bank.
I’m hoping with every beat of my heart that I manage to get away safely, by
not taking a direct route. My mind is on a loop, desperately trying to convince
itself there is no way they could guess I would head for Harrisburg. I have no
ties there, I’ve never even been there. No, they can’t guess.
I am feeling so much regret for my actions. Not because I feel compassion
for Vinnie. I realise the jewelry I took belonged to his late wife, Eloisa. That
will hurt him and I am glad. No, my remorse is for Nadine. My beautiful,
innocent wife. I must force my mind not to think of her, of the pain I am
putting her through, the danger I am putting her in. I hadn’t anticipated the
ocean of fear and regret that would flood my mind. I was single-mindedly
focusing on revenge. I should have learned from my time spent so close to the
Family that revenge can only ever hurt. All this pain because I wanted to be
the big man and prove to Nadine, and to Vinnie, I could do something
powerful. I guess I am not that different to Ricci.
 For this stage of my escape I am taking the fastest route, rather than trying
to lose my aggressors in a twisting cat and mouse chase. I don’t notice the
scenery at all, I can’t name any landmarks I have passed, I am just driving.
Distance, that is my sole aim.
It is 3:30pm when I arrive in Harrisburg. The three hour drive has taken its
toll on my back. The van wasn’t exactly made for long, fast journeys. The first
thing I do is find a public bathroom so that I may transform myself. As I look
at my reflection in the mirror, I silently say goodbye to Alex forever. My dark
hair, that was a direct gift from my father, must go. I quickly shave my beard
and facial hair and then turn my attention to my head. It is not long before I
have no hair at all. I feel inexplicably sad when I look at the dark remnants of
my past that have fallen into the basin. The reflection studying me from
behind the mirror is now alien. I don’t recognise me in it at all. It is not me.
With what I hope will be a deep, cleansing sigh I pack my things away and
head for the bank to make my deposit. Then, I drive to the next vehicle rental
place and exchange the van for a more comfortable car. I need to drive to
Colombus, OH today to stay on track.
I have to wait whilst they check my documents and prepare my car. My
heart is thudding so loudly I’m sure the super upbeat receptionist will hear it.
Please, don’t let them catch me out. I take a seat but my legs won’t sit still with
me so I stand to try to regain control.
I wonder what is happening at home. I don’t need to close my eyes to see
Nadine sat in her favourite brown leather chair, a wayward strand of curls
falling in front of her red, watery eyes. I hate what I have done to her and I
can’t help but think I should turn around; return to Manhattan, turn myself
over to Vinnie and let him determine my fate. Only, I can’t do that. It’s not that
simple. If I return, I am dead for sure and Nadine is subjected to horrors I can’t
even contemplate. If I disappear, though, she has a chance. I can let her know
where I am really quickly and we can both be free. Yes, I have to continue.
“Your car will be another ten minutes, Mr Montgomery,” the receptionist
says and it takes a few seconds for me to realise that I am Mr Montgomery.
“OK,” I say and try sitting again, my legs slightly calmer. I think back on
my meeting with Ricci. I handled it so badly, as soon as he mentioned the safe
camera I behaved like a fruit loop and practically ran all the way home. He is
not the cleverest person I’ve ever met but he is far from stupid. Especially
when it comes to street smarts. He knew it was me, he must have. He also
must have known that I was only able to do it because of information he gave
me. So maybe he won’t want his dad to know, maybe he’ll keep my secret. On
the other hand, maybe he will want the glory of finding out who disrespected
his father’s empire, this surely will earn him promotion to the Golden Son,
Vinnie’s Number Two. I hope, without really believing, that Ricci will
remember our friendship. I’m pleading with him, telepathically, that the knife
wound in my stomach will count for something. But I know Ricci too well. He
would do anything for his father’s approval, he will happily throw me to the
wolves.
***
7th April 2015
It’s hard to fathom how mine and Ricci’s friendship could have lasted so
long. I was the son of a wealthy Irish family and he, the son of an Italian
Mafia boss. We shouldn’t have been friends. Our fathers hated it at first, but
we were such good friends they soon relented. I smile, in spite of myself,
when I think our first visit to Vinnie’s strip club. Loose Ladies, the place where
every young man’s dreams come true. We were only 16 that first time,
awkwardly dressed in grown up suits, hair slicked back, hormones buzzing.
Tony the Door wasn’t going to let us in until Freddy saw us and told him who
we were. Freddy got us a prime table at the front and we watched, jaws on the
table, as beautiful women, one after another, wiggled and jiggled and writhed
in front of us. We had never seen such allure in all our lives, we felt electric,
pumped up and ready to become men. Until, that is, my Ma came and hauled
us out of there by the scruffs of our necks, yelling all the while. We were so
embarrassed, but today the memory makes me smile as I contemplate our lost
innocence.
Ma became a mother to both of us, after Ricci’s mother died when he was
ten. He was such a bruised and battered little boy, Ma couldn’t help but pick
him up and salve his wounds. She’s always had such a big heart. That’s not to
say she didn’t rule her home. She really did. Every Thanksgiving, Vinnie and
Ricci came to our house, which was a third the size of theirs, with gratitude
spilling over and ate her food and acted like they were plain old family
friends, not the head of the biggest criminal family in New York. We always
had a game of football afterwards, even when snow was dusting the ground;
Ricci and me against Dad and Vinnie. We always won.
***
th
5 October 2014
I start the engine and head for Colombus. If I can just make this stage of my
journey safely, I can sell everything I’ve got and send some more money to
Nadine. I yawn as I contemplate the six hour journey ahead of me. I look at
the dashboard clock: 4:45pm. It will be midnight before I finally get to bed.
As daylight fades into a darkness spotted with red tail lights, I finally find
myself in Colombus. There is a Motel 6 just inside the city limits, I know
because I looked it up before I came. As I check in and open the door to my
cold, lonely room, the urge to phone Nadine from the payphone just outside is
almost choking me. I hadn’t anticipated missing her this much. In over ten
years of marriage, we haven’t spent a single night apart. Other people say it
feels as though a part of them is missing when they are separated from their
soulmates. But that’s not quite right. It is me that is missing, all of me; Alex
Murphy. He is gone and I am no-one and Nadine is alone and so am I. God,
this is such a mess. I’m not very good at this ‘life of crime’ lark. Looks like
Vinnie was wrong and I would never have been a perfect fit for the Family.
I turn on the little bedside lamp as I don’t wish to draw too much attention
to myself. I take the stolen items from the secret compartment in my bag and
tip them onto my bed. I do a proper stock take, so I can let Jake (aka ‘on-the-
make-Jake’) know exactly what I have to sell. Three necklace and bracelet
sets. At least, I assume they are sets. They seem to match. Definitely diamonds
on them, but other stones too, one with sapphires, one with rubies and one
with emeralds? Then we have the deep blue velvet bag with the riches Jake
yearns for. I empty its contents and count - twenty- diamonds. I would guess
ranging from 1/2 carat to five carats. I can feel my body relaxing now as I
think of the money I can earn.
The only other items I have are some kind of papers and a book. The book.
I don’t know why I didn’t recognise it earlier. This is Vinnie’s book of
collections, debts, payments, extortions. This is Vinnie’s insurance policy, I’ve
heard him say that before. Shit. He’s going to be really pissed about this one. I
open the book and look inside, I don’t really understand it, if I’m honest. As I
look through, I see a few names I recognise here and there. Never anyone from
my family, I am glad to see. I do come across one name I recognise but I can’t
place from where. Rick Avery. Rick Avery, I roll the name over my tongue and
feel a shiver run the length of my spine. Why do I know that name?
I lie on the bed, my goods all packed away and bags ready to go at a
moment’s notice. By the time daylight infiltrates my room, I think I have
probably had about an hour’s sleep. I look at my reflection in the mirror and
somehow I have aged twenty years since yesterday. I have dark stubble on my
jaw and I quickly shave away the remnants of Alex.
It is 6:30am and I make a call to Jake and arrange to meet him. He drools
over the jewelry, I think it is more than he is used to dealing with. He has a
buyer, he says, who wants to see the jewelry first, but he has money and
desire, according to Jake. We drive to a diner the other side of Colombus and
wait at a table for our man. When the door opens and a figure the size of two
football players walks in, I swallow hard then have to force myself to breathe.
He’s going to kill me, I know it. I’ve seen movies like this and I never survive.
As he approaches us, he says, “Come with me, gentlemen,” and Jake and I
follow meekly behind. He takes us to his SUV and we get in. “OK, show me
what you got,” he says and I hand everything over. At this point my heart is
trying to beat its way out through my mouth and I’m barely in control of my
faculties, when the big guy smiles and says, “$500,000, all in. That’s it.”
I can barely believe I have heard him right. That’s more money than I could
have possibly imagined. It also means Vinnie is definitely going to kill me. I
gawp at my buyer and say, as coolly as possible, “That sounds good to me.”
He smiles, for the first time, displaying two gold teeth, one of which has a
dazzling diamond in the center. He then counts out $500,000 in front of me,
carefully places it in a brief case and shakes my hand. “It is all there,” he says
and opens the door for us to leave, then pulls away and the only thing left of
him, to prove that he was real, is this brief case.When I get back to the hotel
room, I open the case, praying I have not been fooled and that the man with no
name is honest. I find everything there, every last dollar.
***
7th April 2015
Once more, I am longing to hold Nadine. She was supposed to be joining
me next week. I thought it would be alright, I thought I was free. That was
never going to be the case, though, not when Vinnie was the Rottweiler
chasing me. Oh, Nadine. I’m so sorry, my Love. My heart feels as though it’s
being wrung tightly like a wash cloth, twisting and straining to return to my
old life.
My old life. It feels like an illusion now. It has only been six months but
everything has changed beyond recognition. My old job as a journalist has
been disregarded in exchange for that of a personal trainer in the stifling
Arizona heat. The noise and energy of the city has been replaced with a quiet
laziness which ambles along, taking you on a magical journey. Once you get
used to the heat, you are free to ingest the beauty. I had imagined the desert
would be devoid of all life but it isn’t. Now that spring is pulsing in the air,
there is an unmissable, vibrant array of flora. Wild flowers of every hue grace
the earth and green cacti, with their fragrant pink and white flowers, are dotted
all over the landscape. It really is beautiful. The kids would have loved it.
In Benson, where I am living, there is such a friendly, laid back attitude
from everyone. You can’t help but feel at home. You feel like the rest of the
world is happening somewhere else and you are, somehow, untouchable. I
guess that was my downfall. It was so easy to forget I was a fugitive, with the
Mafia on my trail.
***
th
6 October 2014
With my money split between the bank and a safety deposit box, I grab a
newspaper and head for my new rental car. I need to check for any stories
about Vinnie and his theft. I scan the pages quickly and I can see nothing. But
then my eyes stop on two familiar words: Rick Avery. I look at his photograph
and instantly feel sick. That’s why I knew the name, everyone is expecting him
to run for president next year. He’s started campaigning, albeit subtly, already.
I try to remember what Vinnie’s book said about him, knowing it was nothing
favorable. He was on Vinnie’s payroll. Doing him favors, getting him lucrative
building contracts. That’s right, he is bent, dirty, not presidential material, and
he really won’t want me to have all this information on hand.
I start the car and head towards the I71, choosing to take the quickest route
to my next destination, and hoping nobody will guess my next stop is to be
Louisville, KY. I am in unfamiliar territory now, I’ve never been this far west.
I am a New Yorker to the core. No, Alex was but I, James Montgomery, am
not. I have practised disguising my accent but it is impossible so I have
decided James is from Elizabeth, New Jersey, but he settled in the west when
he did his sports program at the University of Arizona over fifteen years ago. I
am hoping it will be believable.
My head is swimming with memories, already watered down, floating
through and away from my mind. My thoughts are with the future and
surviving my crime. There are so many ways this could go wrong.
Louisville seems to appear from nowhere. It’s hard to believe I’ve been
driving for just over three hours. I find the rental place easily and switch cars
again. Surely, all these changes must be giving me an advantage.
Before leaving Louisville, I find a coffee shop and grab a quick latte to go,
along with a couple of blueberry muffins to keep my energy levels up. I
wonder, whilst waiting for my fuel, whether it is dangerous to eat the same
food. Should I be a cappuccino and chocolate chip cookie kind of guy? As the
barista hands me my food, I smile and make my way to the car, head down,
baseball cap pulled low over my eyes.
This next driving spell is going to be the toughest. I need to make it to
Memphis by 8:00pm, in time for my flight. I should have plenty of time, but I
know it will take at least six hours so I need to get going. As I drive through
Buckner, just outside of Louisville, I become aware of a car on my tail. Every
move I am making, it mimics, keeping close behind me. My heart is racing
and I am sweating from every pore. I try to look at the driver without letting
him see, but it’s impossible. He sees me, he knows I am on to him. But who is
he? Is he from the Family? I don’t think I recognise him. Maybe he was sent
by Rick Avery. And how dangerous is Rick Avery? Shit. I have to lose him.
I put my foot down, using both lanes, overtaking, slowing then speeding up
again, testing my brakes. Eventually, I see my exit road ahead and I say a little
prayer and speed up, then at the very last minute turn off the I65 and ditch my
plan of driving through Nashville. It was never a great plan, anyway. When I
finally dare to look in my mirror, my pursuer has gone. I am safe again.
Maybe. This fugitive business is far more intense than I had ever imagined.
I arrive in Memphis (relatively) unharmed and check in for my flight. I am
relieved when I find my gate and see that my flight is scheduled to be on time.
Just a few more hours and I will be touching down in Albuquerque, the other
side of the country. That has to be a good thing.
I surprise myself by getting quite a lot of sleep on the flight and when we
land, at about 3:00am, I feel refreshed; more positive. I’m actually starting to
think I might get away with this.
By the time I have collected my bags and checked in at the Ramada Inn
next to the airport, I am pretty sure I will get another coupe hours sleep. The
bed feels extraordinarily comfortable and the pillow is soft against my cheek.
***
7th October 2014
My alarm startles me at 7am. I jump awake and immediately fall over my
bag which I left next to the bed. For a brief moment, I forget where I am and
why. I can smell Nadine’s pancakes on the stove and my stomach grumbles to
be fed, but then reality suckers me in the gut. I am hungry for my old life, for
my wife and children, for my wife’s pancakes.
I pack up my belongings quickly and stop to buy coffee and a pretzel on my
way to the car. That will have to do for breakfast today. I have another long
stretch of driving ahead. It is the final stage of my escape and I want to make it
to Brian’s office by 2:00pm, to pick up my house keys and explore my new
home. I have 405 miles to cross but I am determined to do it one go. I have
enough petrol in the car, I can do this.
As I make my way across country, I am surprised at how the scenery
dazzles me. I find it odd I even notice, my head is so full of the steaming noise
and skyscrapers of New York. But the South West is beautiful. Sparse,
tranquil, welcoming. I imagine myself feeling relaxed here, growing old here.
Nadine and the kids will love it.
The closer I get to my destination, the more anxious I find myself feeling.
What if Vinnie has somehow found out my plans, or Rick Avery? He must
have contacts? They’re going to be there, waiting for me. I know it. When I
arrive at the realtor’s office in Benson, Arizona, I am physically shaking, from
the tip of my nose to the end of my toes. Inside and out, I am jello. Please,
God, don’t let them be waiting for me.
As I enter the office, there is a reception desk right in front of me. A pretty
blonde with the healthiest bronze tan I have ever seen greets me eagerly. “I’m
here to see Brian. James Montgomery.” The only words my tongue will allow
my mouth to say, it is too busy sticking itself to my cheeks.
Brian must have been listening because he appears and leads me through to
his office. We go through the paperwork and rules and regulations and I sign
in my new name, J. Montgomery. Brian hands me my keys and gives me
directions and before long I am parking in the garage of my new house in
Benson, Arizona.
I walk through the front door and feel more alone than I have ever felt in
my life. The house is nice enough, but it has no soul. How can it when Nadine
is the soul of my house? Nadine and Isobel, Darcy and Callum. This house is
so quiet. I glance at my watch and it is 3pm. I have made good time, I should
probably call into the Walmart I saw just outside of town. I need to get some
food, and beer. Some extra locks for the doors and windows too. A security
camera would be good, but I’m not sure they will sell those in Walmart.
As I am driving, I think of all the things I must do tomorrow. My instinct is
to leave a message for Nadine, letting her know I have made it. But that is too
dangerous. Judging by Vinnie’s book, he has enough local police on his
payroll to have someone tap Nadine’s phone and trace my call. No, I can’t ring
her. Maybe I could send a message via our PO Box. No, it’s too soon. She’s
not expecting anything, I have to put safety first. Tomorrow, I will focus on
our future. I need to call into the gym and introduce myself, have a look
around. I have to drop the rental car off and buy one for myself. Make the
house as secure as Alcatraz, get some clothes that will suit this stifling heat
and drink lots of beer. Phew, tomorrow will be a busy day.
***
th
8 October 2014
I hardly slept last night. When I did, I dreamt of Vinnie and Ricci, of not
knowing they had found me until I felt the metal on my head and heard the
click of the trigger. God, I hope this isn’t how my dreams are to be forever.
After a quick shave, I decide to go for a run. I don’t know the neighorhood
at all but I won’t go too far. I can do some press ups and sit ups when I get
home. Home. Yeah, right. After my exercise, I have a quick shower, make
myself some eggs and check my map for the location of Shorty’s Gym.
The reception desk is manned by another pretty blonde with a tan sent from
heaven and I ask to see “Shorty”. When he walks towards me, I smile at the
irony, he must be 6’7” at least. “Hey. Guess I’m not what you were expecting,
right? Shorty, good to meet you.”
“Hi, Shorty. I’m James Montgomery, the new personal trainer. I start next
week.”
“Right, James. Monty, that what they call you? Great, Monty, I’ll get
Crystal here to show you around. Any questions, I’m sure she can answer
them. See you next week, Monty.” With that, he is gone and Crystal ushers me
towards the equipment area. She calls me Monty, following Shorty’s lead and I
realise that the big guy has just come up with a stroke of genius. I have a
nickname. People have nicknames from when they are young, especially
nicknames based on their surnames. My character is starting to have a
background, making him so much more credible.
***
Thursday 27th November 2014
When I awoke this morning, my heart was instantly heavy, like a leaden
weight was inside my chest, dragging me right down to the very bottom. I
have been slowly adjusting to waking alone (for the first few weeks, my mind
played the wicked trick of telling me Nadine was by my side) but this morning
I could not be fooled. I knew I was all alone. Alone for Thanksgiving.
Something I have never experienced before. I guess I will be alone for
Christmas too.
I wonder what my family are doing today. Will Nadine be with my parents?
Has she told them I am safe? Does she know I am safe? I sink heavily into my
chair and spend a while feeling even more sorry for myself than usual. I used
to like myself when I was Alex but this new guy, Monty, is so far removed I
sometimes feel I am not present in my body. He is a detestable robot made up
of flesh and bones.
I manage to wrestle my thoughts back to surviving my here and now. I put
on my running shoes and head out for a five mile pace. As soon as I am
outside, I know something isn’t right. The hairs on my arms stand erect and
my heart quickens a little. What is it? What is wrong? Then I see it. There is a
black SUV parked three houses down from me. There is nothing unusual
about that per se, only I swear it is the same SUV I’ve seen four or five times
this last week. Always somewhere different, now this time near my home.
Vinnie’s SUV is exactly the same as this one. This could be the end.
I contemplate my options and decide to press forwards, towards the vehicle.
As I draw level with it, I can taste the salty wave of fear on my lips. I don’t
look inside, just keep running. By the time I realise I am still in one piece, I
exhale my relief in one long, grateful breath. I shake my head and question
how long I can continue living this way.
Now I am more relaxed, I find myself enjoying my exercise. I can feel the
stress blowing away with the steady rhythm of my steps. Five miles have
passed before I realise and I feel refreshed, ready for my Thanksgiving dinner
for one.
When I turn onto my street, the first thing I notice is that the SUV is longer
parked three houses down from mine. Then I see where it is now parked; right
outside my house. Shit shit shit. I have to stop where I am to try to regain
control over my breathing. I bend over, gasping for air as a tall, blonde haired
man in a black suit and purple shirt walks towards me.
I open my mouth but am unable to speak. The man strides closer and holds
out his hand. “Chris Taylor,” he says, “pleased to finally meet you.”
I don’t take his hand, I just stare at him, my brain frantically searching its
library for the card with Chris Taylor’s details on it. “It’s OK, Monty - it is
alright if I call you Monty, right?” he continues as I nod my head, “Great.
Monty, I own Harry’s Gym in Sierra Vista and you, my friend, have come to
my attention. Shorty’s is my main rival, he steals a lot of my clients and, just
lately, the reason he has done that is because of you.”
I swallow hard, trying to figure out if this guy wants me dead. I want to tell
him that’s fine, he is one of many, but my mouth is still not working properly.
In stead, he fills the silence. “It’s OK, Monty. I’m not here for trouble. I want
you. I want you to switch sides, come work for me. I know what you make at
Shorty’s, I can give you an extra $25 an hour, plus travel expenses for home
sessions with my most lucrative clients.”
I am stunned. I have no idea how to respond. A big part of me doesn’t trust
this guy. Why should I? I’ve never met him before. If he is genuine, though,
the money is very attractive. But Shorty has been so good to me. I tell Chris I
need to think about it, I’ll let him know and I go inside to search for Harry’s
Gym on the internet.
***
1st March 2015
They were there again tonight. Three of them, smart suits, sunglasses,
watching me. I see them everywhere. I don’t recognise them, or maybe I do.
They have guns. I can’t see them but I smell them, the unmistakable scent of
death. Who are they? I have to know. If they’re going to kill me, why can’t
they just do it? I’m sick of this, always scared, always running.
I am late home form work tonight and as soon as I unlock my front door, I
hear his knuckles cracking and my spine shivers in anticipation. I flick the
light switch but I see no-one. Then I hear the click of the trigger. I am dead.
This is it. “Come on, Ricci. Give it to me! Do it, right here, right now.” But
there is no reply. Of course, he can’t do it here. Vinnie will want me for his
own.
I strain my ears and I hear whispers from the kitchen. Just front it out, I tell
myself and step through the archway. But there is no-one there either. I grab
the gun I keep in the cleaning cupboard and search the rest of the house. No-
one anywhere. Just me. Me and the sounds in my head. I think I may be going
insane, I need Nadine to save me from myself. Her touch, her warmth, her
company. I think it is time, I will send for her tomorrow.
***
7th April 2015
“You’re an idiot, Alex,” says Ricci, “a fucking idiot. Dad’s gonna kill you.
Or maybe he’ll let me do it. That could be fun.”
I don’t reply, partly because my voice won’t let me and partly because I
don’t care about his words, all I care about is my family. My mind is pulled,
with invisible strings, back to Nadine and my babies and everything I
sacrificed to end up here, waiting for death. I think of my job with the Daily
News. I worked so hard at school and then with my internship, all to get my
dream job. I loved everything about it; the office, my colleagues, the rush of
finding a good story and the satisfaction of writing about it with passion. It
was all for nothing. I never write any more, it’s too dangerous.
I have enjoyed being a personal trainer. It was hard at first, I wasn’t nearly
as fit as I had imagined. I soon settled in, though, and Shorty has been a great
boss. If I’m honest, exercise has been my solace. It always helps with blowing
away cobwebs. It’s the only time I ever really lose myself. I wish I could run
right now. I know I could outrun all four men in front of me. If they didn’t
have guns.
I look at my ring finger, searching for some concrete link to my past but the
white mark where my wedding ring once nestled has been overtaken with sun.
Everything has changed, even my food. Living right next to Little Italy, pasta
was a staple of my New York diet. Nadine cooked the most wonderful baked
ziti. I haven’t dared to eat at Italian restaurants here, Monty prefers Mexican.
Which is nice, but there’s no comfort in it. Even my music has been curbed. If
I had Nirvana or David Bowie playing loudly or on my iPod playlist, it would
be such a give away for those who know me. The truth is, I never actually
listen to the drivel I do have on my iPod, I need to be able to hear my
surroundings at all times. I couldn’t do away with Springsteen, though. I have
a CD of his which I hide at the back of the wardrobe. I play it really quietly
sometimes when I’m in bed.
“Lost your tongue?” Ricci shouts, drawing me away from my thoughts. I
realise he wants me to respond.
“I didn’t think there was anything to say. It’s not like you guys are gonna let
me go, is it?” I say.
“No fucking way. No favors for you. Vinnie said we shouldn’t even speak to
you, but I figured, you probably need to know what a fucking loser you are.
We knew you were here all along, we’ve been watching you, letting you start
to feel relaxed, letting you tell Nadine it’s safe for her to come. We’ve been
watching you Alex!” Ricci is laughing as he says this last line and I can see
from his eyes he has taken something. Cocaine probably, whiskey too, I
should think.
“Come on Ricci, that’s enough. Vinnie said no talking except the
necessaries,” says Freddy and I am grateful to him. I am desperately trying to
work out if Ricci is telling the truth. Possibly not, he’s always been full of shit.
But then I think of the guy at the gym a couple weeks ago. He was in a suit,
totally out of place. I was working with Alyssa Munroe and he seemed to be
wherever we were. I asked Shorty about him and he said he was some safety
guy. Then it occurs to me, what if Shorty was in on this? Did I get him wrong?
Did I get everyone wrong? The ground is falling away from my feet and I can
taste bile in my mouth. Suddenly, and without warning, I crumple to the floor.
The hard man no more. Ricci certainly achieved his goal by telling me the
truth.
“Up,” he says, kicking me hard in the ribs, “it’s time to go.”
Thanksgivings of years past assault my memory again, school days spent
together, carelessly happy. How is it that two boys, best friends from
babyhood, can be here, in this bathroom, one extracting such pleasure from the
other’s pain?
 We walk from the coffee shop, the five of us, and as soon as we are outside,
I see the van which is waiting to take me to my executioner. It is black and
windowless, an accurate reflection of my life. Ricci tells me to climb in the
back and I do as I am told, without question or resistance. Freddy climbs in the
back with me and the other three sit up front. I am glad it is Freddy who
guards me. Cesare and Maurizio are vicious, unfeeling, whereas Ricci is full
of feeling, so hurt by my actions. But Freddy is level headed. He is fair, he
won’t hurt me. He probably even feels bad about this.
I look up and meet the older man’s gaze. Instinctively, I smile, then I
remember where we are. “It doesn’t smell too good in here, does it?” are the
only words I can think to say.
Freddy laughs and says, “And that’s your biggest concern here, is it, Alex?”
“I guess not,” I reply and my smile is lost. “I’m not stupid, I know what is
happening.”
“Yeah. You know we got no choice, right?” He pauses for a second then
says, “Why d’you do it, Alex? You had everything. Vinnie thought the world
of you, every last Family member had your back and you didn’t have to do
anything in return. Vinnie loved you, Man. You had it all.”
I can’t argue with him, he’s right. Why the hell did I do it? I didn’t need to.
Nadine knew how angry I was with Vinnie, how much I hated him. “I guess I
was just trying to prove myself, Freddy. I know what Vinnie did to Nadine’s
father. For no reason, he was a good man, he never betrayed Vinnie, he was
wrong about that. Then, Cara killed herself, all because she couldn’t bear the
pain of losing her dad. Nadine found her, Freddy. She got home from school
and found her hanging. Can you imagine what that was like for her? I couldn’t
let him get away with it, I couldn’t.”
“But that must be at least twenty years ago. Why do this now?” I can see he
is genuinely trying to understand, but how can he when I don’t?
“I don’t know. I’ve always wanted revenge, for Nadine. Then Ricci
mentioned a big hoard of diamonds in the safe and I thought, this is my
chance. It wasn’t hard to get alarm codes from Ricci. He trusted me. So, here
we are, six months later.”
“Vinnie busted his ass over those codes, you know? He knew where you got
them from. That’s why Ricci’s so pissed today. He’s been paying for this for
six months. He wanted to go after Nadine, you know? But Vinnie wouldn’t let
him. He knows she’s living on his money, but he figures that’s ok, seeing as
he’s taking your life.”
I flinch and look at Freddy. I wonder if there’s any way he will help me out
of this, let me run away again. But I know he won’t. He is The Family to his
core.
After what feels like no time at all, the van draws to a halt. I get get out and
I am struck by the beauty of Arizona in spring time. I notice the deep blue sky;
unbroken, shimmering. The sun is more orange than yellow, a ball of warmth
lighting the deserted yard. It seems bizarre that when this close to death, all I
can think of is the magnificence of nature. Maybe it is because I know this will
be the last sky, the last sun I ever see.
The solitude of our resting place assaults my ears. I can hear nothing, other
than the heavy breathing of four men not used to this arid heat. There is a
building in front of us, just one, with a faded sign hanging from its roof ,
remnants of red writing barely visible. There are letters missing but I can make
out what it once said; “Ginelli & Sons”. I never knew Vinnie’s family owned
businesses out here, I thought they were purely New York. Maybe this
belonged to the South Western branch of the Ginelli clan. I wonder what
transactions once took place here, I know for sure they wouldn’t have been
entirely legitimate.
As we approach the corrugated metal door, my heart quickens so much I
can barely breathe. I turn to the others, knowing this is my last chance to get
away. “Come on, guys. This is me, Alex, your brother. Think of Nadine, think
of my babies. Please. Please, guys. Let me go.”
Ricci’s response is to kick open the door and push me inside. The first thing
that hits me is the smell and I am promptly sick. The stench of death and
decay, flesh rotten and rotting is everywhere. How many people have been
executed within these walls? I look up and there are wooden benches, also
rotting, lining one half of the room. Ricci pushes me forward and we come to
giant plastic flaps which I am sure were once clear, but are now a cloudy
russet color. I step through them into a smaller room. Exactly in the centre,
Vinnie is sat behind an expensive looking mahogany desk. My brain is unable
to fathom how this desk could possibly be here. I am too tired and my circuit
is starting to short already.
I stand in front of the man who once thought of me as his son, hoping he
remembers just a little of that affection. I wait for him to speak for what feels
like an hour, then he says, “Alex, you made it. You know why you’re here. You
know what will happen. You know this is your own fault.” He pauses, waiting
for my response, but I have none and stay silent. “Tell me, Alex. Why did you
do it? Did I make you so arrogant you thought you were cleverer than me? Is
that it? Tell me, Alex. Tell me!”
Vinnie is raising his voice and I know I have to give him answers. Not that
it will make any difference to my fate. I think about it and find myself saying,
“Nadine. It was for her. Everything has always been about her, my kids, the
grandkids of the man you murdered. He was innocent, Vinnie, you got the
wrong man, and because of your mistake Nadine lost her Daddy, then her big
sister killed herself because she couldn’t live without him. You murdered them
both, Vinnie, two innocent people. What would you have done in my
position?”
Vinnie considers his answer and I can hear the regret in his voice as he
says, “I would have done the same. Maybe something worse. But you tell me,
Alex, what you would do right now, in my position? You have made a fool of
me. Everybody knows I thought of you as a son, I trusted you, I was proud of
you. Then you throw it back in my face? I can’t let you get away with that,
Alex. You fucking know I can’t.”
For a moment, I feel sorry for the man sitting in front of me, the man about
to take my life. He looks weary, older than I remember him when I left New
York. He has dark circles under his eyes and I am sure his hair is greyer. I
understand this isn’t easy for him. I understand why he has to do this. It is too
late to save myself, all I can do is plead for the safety of my loved ones.
“I know, Vinnie. I understand why you have to do this,” I say. “I accept my
fate, I did that the day I stole from you. But, please, I beg you, don’t hurt
Nadine or the children. They are supposed to be flying out here next week,
please tell them what has happened. Don’t let them come and find me gone,
they - ”
Vinnie holds up his hand for me to stop talking. “It’s alright. I’ve done
enough to them. I’ll make sure they are taken care of. I won’t take my money
back, I probably owe them that.”
“Thank you. That’s all that matters to me. Thank you, Vinnie.”
Sweat is beading on the foreheads of all the men inside this slaughterhouse.
Vinnie studies me for a full minute, then swallows and stands. “Kneel down,
Alex,” he says as he walks behind me. I swear I can smell the metal of his 22, I
can taste it on my tongue. I think I may die from fear before he pulls the
trigger, my heart is somersaulting and banging around in my chest, my breaths
are rapid and I really don’t want to die. Vinnie instructs the others to leave the
room. I close my eyes and decide one last plea might just be enough, “Vinnie,
please,” I beg, “you don’t have to do this. I’ll disappear, no-one will know,
please, think of - “
***
7th April 2020, Seattle, WA
I wake to the smell of pancakes and my stomach tingles at the prospect. I
have a shower and walk through to the kitchen. Nadine is at the stove, her
smooth hourglass figure highlighted by the morning sun. As I link my arms
around her waist, she turns and kisses me on the lips and I feel truly happy.
My body is warm and responds to her touch. I want her, right now. But I know
the kids will be here any minute, fighting, sulking, singing (in Darcy’s case)
and wanting to be fed.
“Kids, come on! I will not let you be late for school. Come on!” I can tell
Nadine is more stressed than usual. She always is on this day. I understand
why. This was my execution day, I died on this day. Officially. Of course, it’s
really not a sad or frightening day. It is the day I was reborn, the day Vinnie let
me live.
I try not to think of that day but sometimes, on days like this, I have no
choice. I can smell death, I can taste it all over my tongue. The smell of gun
metal, the unmistakable gun powder kick, I can remember it all like it was
yesterday.
As I knelt in front of Vinnie, eyes closed and begging for my life, the crack
of the pistol almost deafened me. But I was still alive. Ricci was yelling,
Cesare was roaring, Freddy was shockingly calm. I opened my eyes and saw
Maurizio slumped on the floor, motionless. Before my brain had a chance to
piece together the scene, another shot was fired and Cesare fell right next to
Maurizio. I had no idea what was happening. Had Vinnie gone mad? Was he
going to shoot us all, one by one?
As Ricci rushed to his comrades, Freddy threw his arms around him and
held him back. I had no idea he was so strong. With a calmness that was very
like serenity, Vinnie stripped Maurizio of all identification and placed my,
Alex Murphy’s, ID all over him. He then turned to me and said, “I couldn’t
take you away from Nadine, I couldn’t do that to her again. You are a good
man, Alex. Your wife and children will meet you at your house. Pack your
things, go north. Seattle, I recommend. Here is your new identity. Nadine has
one too. Now, go. Don’t make me regret this.”
Luckily, for me, Vinnie had just discovered the two dead men had been
skimming profits from his refuse business for years. Stealing from him, before
his eyes. I will thank those two men for the rest of my life.
It is hard to hate Vinnie with as much passion as I did five years ago. We
have been so happy here, despite the rain. The children are all happy in school.
Well, Isobel is fourteen so happy is probably not the most accurate word. I
write freelance and I’m working on my first novel. It’s about a Mafia boss who
is nowhere near as hard as everyone believes. I wonder if it will sell.
*****

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