THE SPICES

Every relationship can be likened to a food substance that needs to be seasoned to give it more flavor, so
is it that everyone has his/her own taste-buds which are receptors that determine the particular taste of the
food substance. Every good chef must understand the essence of applying seasoning as an essential in the
preparation of meals in their right proportions. As food is being processed with seasoning, so also is
relationship a continuous process which requires spices in order to enhance its flavor. The purpose of
consuming food especially when in the right quantity is for growth, strength, development and healthy
living. It is very essential to spice up your relationships too to fit our own receptors. How then do we
spice up our relationships?
A few answers to this long thought question would be discussed in this issue, sit back, relax while we
learn together.

1. Creating Time: The deepest and the most meaningful relationships out there are ones which
couples make commitments into spending quality time together. As partners, time creation for the
opposite sex is very important and allows both parties blend to form a bond for the love which
they share. Talking to each other, going on dates, cooking together, seeing movies, and spending
quality time with each other. Spending as much time as possible with each other, utilizing free
time for recreation, entertainment and fun. This feat often makes relationship bonds grow
stronger and last even longer.

2. Goofing Around: Goofing around your partner is not regarded archaic, neither is it acting stupid
but has been seen as a vital ingredient in today’s unions to foster love and harmony. As partners,
it is okay to be playful and silly around each other in the stead of being so uptight with your
spouse, this makes relationships quite boring. Although as partners, we must understand times;
we must be sensitive enough to know when to be silly and when not, so as not to bring about
provocation. There is a time to be stern and a time to be lighthearted.

3. Intimacy: True intimacy is what differentiates “marriage” from all other forms of relationships.
Intimacy means deeply relating to each other with emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual
closeness.
4. Attention: If you don’t give enough attention to your partner, you would have problems in your
relationship. Not enough attention and your relationship leaves you a sour taste in the mouth.
Although, giving too much attention could be abused but can be effectively managed if there is a
balance maintained.

5. Sprinkle of Romance: People in love find being romantic as though natural. You don’t need to
woo your lover everyday but romance is better in small doses sprinkled over a life time. Kory
Floyd, Ph.D.–a professor at Hugh Downs School of Communication at Arizona State University
—explains that studies show that physical affection such as remembering each other’s special
days, surprising each other with flowers, gifts and planning a romantic evening or vacation.
Doing something special to spice up your love life; physically and emotionally supporting and
giving each other as much love as you can. This will keep your relationship alive and long-lasting
no matter what challenges you face in it. Romance releases feel-good hormones, it reduces blood
pressure, helps to relieve stress, improves mood, and is associated with higher relationship
satisfaction. Showing physical affection can be as easy as kissing, holding hands, hugging, giving
a back scratch, or putting a hand around your partner’s shoulder.

6. Forgiveness: Love is complex and often overwhelming that we can’t always know what
decisions to make in the heat of the moment while sometimes we don’t even know when we
make certain decisions at all. Forgiveness is one of the main pillars of a healthy union, and the
ability of partners to completely forgive each other helps them to enjoy longer lives.

7. Honesty: Honesty is the ability to say the truth at all times. An honest spouse is free from fraud
or deception, integrity is born out of honesty over a long period of time. This is a very important
ingredient in relationships as being honest keeps the trust level between both parties intact.
Suppressing and bottling up your feelings to avoid fights at that moment, will only make them
grow heavy and ugly, later the outburst will be terrifying. Being open and true in a relationship
reduces negativity thereby making it healthier.

8. Trust and Faithfulness: Real intimacy comes with faithfulness. Faithfulness does not just mean
sexual fidelity; it also includes not searching elsewhere for an emotional connection. Any strong
emotional connection with someone outside the relationship eats away trust. Trust is the key
factor required for any relationship to grow as it is the glue holding all human relationships
together. It is essential to trust your partner physically and emotionally. Don’t doubt or suspect
 your partner(s) for their behaviors or actions, once this is permitted, contempt crawls in and it
may not be that easy to trust again, if broken once; but over time, learn to find ways to rebuild
that trust by forgiving to make the relationship last long.

9. Communication: Talk and sort out the issues if you are facing any challenges in your
relationship. Instead of being glued to your Smartphone all day, communicate and interact with
your partner. Talk about each other’s day, listen attentively when your partner speaks and respond
when necessary. Effective communication is essential; it is also regarded as the back-bone for
maintaining a strong and healthy relationship.

10. Commitment: It is important to take constructive actions and behave accordingly, thinking about
the future and health of your relationship. Mutually respect each other’s space and time, give
compliments to each other and support each other during tough times. It is easier to achieve goals
together with commitment.

11. Being Supportive: There are many ways to be supportive of your partner, including the
following:
▪ Give emotional support: listen to them when they’re upset and need to talk.
▪ Give compliments and praise.
▪ Give them information that they might need.
▪ Give them a hand when they need it. For example, doing their house chores when they have to
put in extra hours at work.

12. Let-Go and Compromise: Sometimes, relationships become more important than Ego. This is
when you need to understand that things may not happen the way we expect every time and we
may have to compromise on certain things. Especially, when there is no use fighting over issues
which cannot get resolved, it is better to let go and move on. This will save the relationships
many a time. Certain arguments tend to get out of control, little humor makes them forget the
whole thing and smile with their beloved.

13. Profess your Love: Perform little acts of kindness towards your partner that let them know you
love them. Some ideas include the following:
▪ Warm her car on a cold morning.
▪ Bring home take-out packs from his/her favorite Chinese restaurant.
 ▪ As the man, get up fifteen minutes before she does so that breakfast is ready when she walks
into the kitchen.
▪ When you’re out shopping get him/her a little surprise gift.

14. Say Sorry And Thanks: However close you may be with your partner, small gestures like
saying Thank you and Sorry make your partner happy. This is a small way to convey your care
and respect for their emotions. This helps the relationship grow stronger and even healthier.

15. Set Couple Goals: Be a team of two that’s striving to achieve a set of goals that you’ve set
together and that are important to both of you. By setting goals together you’ll be achieving all of
the following:
▪ Making sure that you’re both moving in the same direction, hence on the same page.
▪ Your wins are their wins.
▪ You can celebrate together each time you achieve a milestone.

ADEWOLE DAMILOLA SOLA

ELITE WOMEN SOCIETY