Wildest Dreams: The Plan

By Loud and Silence

I grew up in a large family. We were 6 children, me being

the 5th child. Growing up, I’ve seen my older siblings sacrifice
their dreams for the family. We could barely get by- my mom was
a housewife and my pops was working as a security guard. They
had to choose courses that they do not really like but something
that is affordable for us. My brother even had to stop a
semester or something, for my other sister to graduate on time
and be able to help us out. I thought that by the time I reach
college, I get to choose my path but I was wrong.

As a child, I had so many dreams. I wanted to be a nurse and

eventually a doctor, but figured I was afraid of blood and
wounds so I scratched it off my list. And then I wanted to be
really good in cooking so being a chef entered my mind; however
I learned that I can still acquire good cooking skills because
my pops used to be a cook back in Saudi. And then it came, my
greatest dream- to become a lawyer. Unfortunately, it will take
me about 9 years to be one and I’m sure as hell we cannot afford
it. So another dream has me hooked- to learn a lot of languages
and be a diplomat. Sadly, courses related to that are only found
in prestigious school back in the North. Again, TOO EXPENSIVE.
All those I had to give up. Instead, I took up what seemed to be
the most practical option that my family offered and that was to
become a teacher. Once again, DREAM DENIED.

I already accepted the fact that I really won’t be able to

get what I want although it was sad. I saw how my siblings
sacrificed their dreams for the family so I feel like it was
also right for me to do the same. I got through college with
Latin honors and an award, passed the board exam the next year
while I landed on a job. Everything was falling into place
EXCEPT for my graduate studies- which I have yet to accomplish;
the drive to reach my greatest dream to be a lawyer was getting
stronger than ever; and my aspiration to study in my dream
schools- University of Sto. Tomas or Ateneo de Manila University
or University of the Philippines Diliman started haunting me
again.
L O U D AND S I L E N C E
 Acknowledging my current situation and my dreams, I tried to
come up with a plan, just something to remind me of what I need
and want in my career. I told myself that after I take my
master’s degree, I’d study Law at either of my dream schools and
become an attorney. Then it came to me that if only I were given
the opportunities I need to reach my dreams, I DEFINITELY WILL
get that no matter what.

Summer of 2020 when I decided to start working on my

master’s degree, however with the rise of this COVID pandemic,
my supposed start was then moved to the 1 st semester of the same
year. Hopefully everything would get better by that time because
I’m sure as hell that this is getting me a little close to being
frustrated.

I’m a firm believer of God. I know that these things are

happening for a reason, not for me to stop but rather for me to
push it through if I really want it and for Him to see how
determined I am. My dreams may not happen any time soon, but I
know they will. I continuously pray that opportunities come by
my way to guide me and motivate me get through every hurdle.
God’s watching me and He’s always with me in everything. It is
to Him I offer all my hard work and the challenges I face and
will face.

L O U D AND S I L E N C E