Text from my initial A comment or question The change(s) I made How this change

WP submission: (Note I received (from to what I initially impacts my paper:

which WP) whom/where?) wrote:
WP1: In Psychology, Allison: your article is In Psychology, often New intro to my quote
often what is being not a research article, what is being studied leads into my new
studied is the select another one. is the idea of the article better. Also
relationship of the mind, not exactly the slightly changes the
brain to the animal. brain. Studies are argument made to fit
Studies are done to done to identify how the new article better.
identify how the the mind affects the
brain is related to behavior exhibited by
emotion. a person.
WP1 “behavioral Allison: use Chicago “Evolutionary Creates a consistent
syndromes correspond style citation psychology is the style that the paper is
to attempt to employ the set in.
different changes’ in methods of cognitive
the rats brain and social
chemistry” (Mlot psychology to
1006). discover…theories
about the nature of
the human mind and
its role in causing
various different
patterns of
behavior.”1
WP1 There was no Self edit In Biology the focus Adding a transition
transition. of study is vastly between my two main
different. disciplines allows for
better flow of ideas
through the
paragraph.
WP1 The biology Allison: your conclusions The biology article The analysis was fine-
article seeks to are invalid due to the seeks to understand tuned and changed to
understand the brains invalidity of your the brains the new articles. This
mechanisms on every evidence from your mechanisms… conclusion is more
level, using articles The Psychology concise and due to
chemistry for the article studies the using better sources,
molecular level, effects the mind, should be valid.
anatomy for any which stems from the
level the human brain, has on the
senses can perceive, body it is in
and physical tests to

1
 see the brains
reaction to outside
stimulus. It studies
the brains physical
characteristics, while
the Psychology
article studies the
effects the brain has
on the body it is in.
WP1 The last Allison: your article is The last convention Changing the topic
difference is how the not a research article, is how the research is sentence of my last
research is presented select another one presented to an body paragraph
to an audience audience which is a changes the entire
thread of similarity objective of the
between the two paragraph.
genres
WP1 There was no Self-edit As an extension, both Adding a fourth
fourth body paragraph genres are writing to paragraph allows me
similar audiences to expand on points
that I was alluding to
in my similar
comparison
paragraph.
WP1 There was no Rosenberg: When the As was alluded to When writing this
fourth body paragraph writer sat down to write through their jargon, paragraph, referencing
your assigned reading, the audience that Rosenberg’s
to whom was he or she both articles were comments about
implicitly talking? writing to were intended audience
educated readers allowed me to see
clearer the context of
these articles and take
my paragraph in that
direction.
WP2 The Chemistry of Allison: your newspaper The Inner Workings of Changed the title to
the Brain article has the same title Your Most Valuable something different.
as your academic article Asset, Your Brain Creates more intrigue
and pulls the reader in
more than the
academic title more
akin to a newspaper
WP2 The Inner BBC website describing The Inner The larger title font
Workings of Your newspaper conventions makes the translation
Most Valuable Asset, 2 Workings of have more similar
Your Brain You conventions to a real
2
Link: https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/guides/zy4rfrd/revision/1
 Splash- the lead story newspaper.
Noted to be in large
letters
WP2 Have you ever BBC website Have you ever Adapts the genre
wondered how wondered how conventions of
scientists discovered Standfirst: An scientists discovered newspapers better.
how the brain introductory paragraph how the brain
operates? Scientists in an article, printed in operates? Scientists
used three distinct larger or bolder type or used three distinct
approaches to in capitals, which approaches to
understanding the summarises the article understanding the
brain: anatomy, brain: anatomy,
physical experiments, physical experiments,
and chemistry. and chemistry.
Through these
methods a better
understanding of you
is possible.

WP2 “The Chemistry Allsion: Your quotes “We, therefore, Properly follows the
of the Brain,” should be cited Chicago regard such work as style laid out by the
published in the style Dr. Thudiclium’s s course.
British Medical being of great
Journal, the audience value…on the very
is implied to be outskirts of one of
researchers on the the most abstruse and
forefront of studying difficult
the brain, saying investigations,”1
“We, therefore,
regard such work as
Dr. Thudiclium’s s
being of great
value…on the very
outskirts of one of
the most abstruse and
difficult
investigations,”
(British Medical
Journal 310).
WP2 The British Allison: Journal titles are The British Medical More fine tuning to
Medical Journal italicized Journal follow a consistent
style
WP2 No paragraph Allison: discuss the The final difference Allows the reader a
about organization genre conventions, between the two more visual approach
specifically organization, genres is the to the differences in
more organization and the two genres.
format of each
 article.
WP2 . Other Allison: discuss the Furthermore, By including a new
synonyms, or a longer genre conventions, changing the paragraph, the
explanation of the specifically organization, organization and paragraph describing
term, were used more format between the the process of
instead to allow full two genres allowed a translation needed an
understanding by any clear visual extra section to wrap
reader. distinction up the essay better

“Scientists Consider Allison: titles of Scientists Consider Being consistent with

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to Zap Coronavirus in italicized Light to Zap conventions
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