Text from my initial WP2
submission:
“​Boyd, Janet, ​Murder!
(Rhetorically Speaking),​ 94.”
“All had similar conventions
which included the use of a
“How to Guide” style title.”
“I compared and analyzed the
completely distinct styles to
form a blog post that delivered
the information from the
primary text to a new audience.
This highlights the specific
conventions that have become a
part of the two discourse
communities and the way that
these conventions are tailored
towards different audiences.”
“Many of the posts are made by
lifestyle bloggers who build
their following around
documenting things going on in
their life and things they have
discovered that have proved to
make their lives better. This
would include the idea of
saving money.”
A comment or The changes I made to what I How this change impacts
question I received: initially wrote: my paper:
Allison Bocchinno: Janet Boyd, “Murder! I changed multiple
the footnotes look (Rhetorically Speaking),” 94 mistakes in my footnotes.
more like This improves the
bibliography entries - credibility of my writing
shouldn't be indented, and helps me avoid
should be first name plagiarism.
before last name, and
commas instead of
periods
Wesley Zeng (Peer All three posts I analyzed had I clarified that I was
Review): Paragraph similar conventions which talking about the three
four, sentence two's included the use of a “How to posts to make my
beginning, where you Guide” style title. argument clearer.
could say all of them
or even all of the
posts, just to clarify to
readers what youre
talking about.
Ashley Lopez Estrada Through comparison and I rearranged my sentence
(Peer Review): In analysis of both completely to make it flow better and
accordance with your distinct styles, I was able to made it clearer that it is
reflection I noticed form a blog post that delivered my thesis. This
that there was not a the information from the improvement introduces
cohesive thesis so primary text to a new audience. my claims for the rest of
maybe adding one or This translation highlights the the essay stronger.
highlighting one specific writing conventions
would make your that have become a part of the
paper that much two discourse communities and
better. the way that these conventions
are tailored towards different
audiences.
Allison Bocchinno: It For instance a blogger might I added this sentence to
would have been nice use intriguing phrases such as, include a direct reference
to see the specific “If you’ve been struggling to to a blog post I used for
Pinterest blog posts stay ahead on your bills, here my translation. This
you examined used are a few ways that can help improves my credibility
within the discussion you get started,” to propose a and further proves I
of the genre life improvement. followed the format of a
conventions. real blog post.
“The structure of the blog posts
showed no apparent use of
heavy texts and the information
is delivered in the form of a
list.”
“In the end, the translation did
not contain every aspect of the
academic journal as it was not
necessary to include these
conventions within its specific
discourse community. “
“Studies show that people are
more likely to take risks and
splurge on the day they receive
their check, so planning and
working towards something
you enjoy may help you avoid
an impulse decision.”
Translating an academic text
into an online blog post
required me to tailor my
writing and rhetorical strategies
to a completely different
audience.
Allison Bocchinno: It Specifically, the structure of
would have been nice the blog post titled, “How To
to see the specific Live Fabulously On A Budget
Pinterest blog posts (And Save Money).” shows no
you examined used apparent use of heavy texts and
within the discussion the information is delivered in
of the genre the form of a list.
conventions.
Revision of Sentence In the end, the translation did
Structure not contain every aspect of the
academic journal as it was not
necessary to include these
conventions within its specific
discourse community which
further demonstrates the
choices writers must make
when addressing different
audiences.
Peer Review: Studies show that people are
Grammar issues more likely to take risks and
splurge on the day they receive
their check, so planning and
working towards something
you enjoy may help you avoid
making an impulse decision.
Revision Translating an academic text
into an online blog post
required me to manipulate and
tailor my writing and rhetorical
strategies to a completely
different audience.
Instead of giving a general
example, I cited a specific
blog post I used, in order
to improve the credibility
of my writing. I also
added a footnote.
When rereading my
conclusion, I noticed that
this sentence ended
abruptly so I added a more
cohesive ending. This
makes my conclusion
easier to understand.
When rereading my
translation I realized I
forgot to include the word,
“making.” This change
makes my sentence more
clear.
When rereading my
conclusion I decided to
add “and manipulate” to
add the idea of
manipulation and make
my conclusion stronger.