It’s weird when you try you’re best to befriend with them and they treat you like

you’re unwanted
everywhere. That feeling that you want to feel important and will be missed when you’re gone, I
wonder how that would feel. It’s funny that they tell their secrets to others and I tell them mine but they
don’t open up with me, that feeling that they don’t trust you enough for an important secret. I wonder
how it feels to be tagged in posts whether it’s funny or sad, that kind of happiness that are way too
simple for others but is way too hard to achieve for me. It’s funny that they treat me as the most
disgusting person. It sucks to feel invisible, that moment when you can’t win an election because they
would always doubt you’re capability and because they would always favor their friend. It sucks that I
am a disposable kind of friend, they can take the most offensive joke from others how comes they can’t
do it for me? And can just take you just like that. They don’t even respect my feelings and I would just
pretend to not mind, but the truth is that I wanted to burst out my tears and tell them to stop but of
course I can’t, I can’t be labeled weak again. That feeling when you just feel alone and no one is there to
console you and asks you “Are you okay?” I’m so expendable that they are willing to use me to get the
person they like and then discard me after. It sucks. I hate this feeling, I’m insecure because I’m jealous
how fun and happy they always are together and I have no space to fit in. There are times I would wish I
would be prettier, maybe everyone will love me despite my attitude and habits, if I’m prettier enough
people will like me more and gets compliments and love. But, there are times I would lay and ask, am I
really not worth it to be loved just the way I am? My Tatay always says I’m kind and pretty. He would say
he loves me and treat me nice. Maybe, I’m just being too much and they just hate me because I’m me, I
even hate myself, and maybe, they hate me too.