SHADOWS BY AMEEN AND CHANDNI

I was 24, a tycoon of my company. I worked tirelessly to reach my current

position, but I was living my father’s dream, not mine. Father forced me to pursue
Engineering even though I have always had a passion for literature. Father was a
strict man, a man so stubborn that I could never go against his wish; so I quit my
passion, followed his wish and pursued Engineering. Father was right, I do earn a
lot of money but I was in a golden cage.

Later one day I decided to free myself from that golden cage. So I resigned my job
as an Engineer and decided to become a writer. I emailed my resignation letter to
my boss and headed home. I was worried sick. I didn't know how to face my
father, who for sure would never listen to my side of the story. I lived 900mts
away from the office but the walk almost felt like an eternity. I was moving
forward, but my shadow was pulling me back. As I approached my home my head
started to feel dizzy. I pulled up my courage and went in, but he was not there.

We have lived in this house ever since I was 6. Just us - 2 men, me and my father
within closed windows and shadows. My mother divorced my father when I was 6.
Ever since then our house had never seen light. A dark place with occasional ray of
sunlight through the long windows. I did not move an inch; my eyes were still
fixed to the ground when I heard the door open. It was father.

As soon as he opened the door, I said, I have resigned and wanted to become a
writer, words appearing just like a bullet from a gun. My father looked at me and
went straight to his room without uttering a word. I have never seen my father like
this. It would have been a lot better if he had scolded me or slapped me. As soon as
my father left, I was quite like a shadow and left with nothing but silence.

My father called me from his room, I knocked and went in. There were a pen and
a paper on his table asked me to write a letter as he narrated. I was confident
because I thought he was going to test my writing skills. He started with,

Dear Kanmani,

It is from me. I know it is hard for you to read this, but you are the sunshine of my
life and all I can do is give you my words, my words of love. I know I made a
mistake, and I regret it every single day. I wish I could turn back time and rectify
my mistakes but time never works that way. I was struggling with my demons in
my head, I needed you the most but you left me all alone with these windows and
shadows. Our child has grown up into a fine young man, a man of success and
knowledge. You are the reason for his success; you were with me in my heart and
gave me the strength to bring him up. You never left my heart. I can still smell you
in this room, and the essence of you is filled all over our house. Please come back
to me. I need you to change me; I need you to bring back life to my lifeless soul.
Divorce never changed me; I was starving for you, your smell, your love, your
smile, and every little thing about you. I have no meaning to my life anymore, you
were my purpose and I want you with me now more than ever. What made you
leave me? Divorce was not the answer. I’m paying for my mistakes, please come
back. You were my lady, the first and the last and I will be waiting for you. You
left me our son, this home, but why did you have to be so selfish to leave this
world, leaving me forever, why didn’t you keep me by your side at your last
breath?

The world went silent for a minute as my hands started to shake, and I broke down
in front of him unable to fathom the loss of my mother. I looked at my father with
tears in my eyes. A ray of sunlight fell on him as the shadows disappeared. It was
as if I saw my father for the first time. He looked me in my eyes and said 'Your
mother never left us.She is going to live through your stories.'