PURPOSE What will I learn?

The purpose of this booklet is to help you

turn theory into action. Learning science
1. How to bring
has shown that retention increases dra-
matically when new information is imme-
your boldest self to
diately recalled (verbally or via writing),
as well as when it is practically applied to
your most difficult
your life. situations
Using this Memorization Booklet is the
easiest and most effective way for you
2. How to feel
to codify and make useful the depth of powerful in the face
knowledge included in Presence. Follow
this guide, answer the questions honestly of adversity
and diligently, and by the end, you’ll learn
how to rise to the occasion during chal-
lenging circumstances. 3. How to induce
confidence and
decrease stress with
your body
HERE’S HOW IT WORKS:
1. Although we suggest that you do, you PLAY THE
do NOT need to read Presence (…)
to learn and apply its key points. We’ve CORRESPONDING
already done the hard work for you. MEMORIZATION VIDEO
2. Watch the video provided on the USB ON THE USB FLASH
flash drive. DRIVE. PAUSE THE VIDEO
3. Pause the video as needed to fill out AS NEEDED TO FILL OUT
the booklet. THIS BOOKLET.
4. Don’t worry about finishing all at once.
Stop. Start. Come back. It’s all up to you.

5. Apply the techniques discussed in the

booklet to your life.

6. Notice the results. This stuff really

works!
 BIG IDEA #1: PRESENCE
What is Presence?
Presence is bringing your boldest self to
the most challenging times of your life.
Presence is:
• Nailing the interview
• Making the final shot
• Getting the promotion
• Confidently sharing your
honest opinions
• Having a wonderful first date
“Entrepreneurs’ grounded enthusiasm
is contagious, stimulating a high level of
commitment, confidence, passion, and
performance in the people who work for
and with them.”  their ideas, was how the presenter carried
Is Presence the same
as charisma?
No. Presence has nothing to do with be-
ing an extrovert. It is not sociability. Sim-
ply put—it is being in tuned with your
core values, and then expressing them
effectively.
How will this help me?
A study done of Silicon Valley entrepre-
neurs showed that everyday people were
able to predict with 80% accuracy wheth-
er or not someone would receive funding
from potential investors, solely by watching
their body language during a presentation.
In other words, more important than
themselves during their presentation—the
winners simply exuded more Presence.
 PRESENCE

Application to Life
QUESTION
Who would you hire?

QUESTION | Imagine you must invest in

a company but you’re not allowed to hear
what the entrepreneur has to say—you
can only look at their presentation. What
are you looking for? What is their posture
like? Their face? How will you know if they
are trustworthy and hardworking?

Example: I’d notice that they’re smiling but

not in a fake way. They might seem a little
nervous but still confident in their ideas. They
would have good posture…

NOTE | Presence is intui-

tive. You already know what
it looks and feels like—you
just aren’t noticing it yet.
What you described above
is Presence.
 BIG IDEA #2: SELF-
AFFIRMATION THEORY
What is
Self-Affirmation
Theory?
“Focus less on the impression you’re making on others and more on the
impression you’re making on yourself.” - Amy Cuddy
When the stakes are high and there’s ob-
vious judgment present (like in an inter-
view or date)—you can put yourself in the
right state of mind by reminding yourself
of who you are, regardless of the outcome.
PRO TIP
Too often we clam up, not because we’re
not prepared, but because we’ve created
a life or death situation out of something
that, in the long run, will not fundamen-
tally change who we are. The solution,
then, is to remind yourself of who you are
deep down.
The key here is to pick values
that will not change, regardless
of whether or not you’ve “won”,
and then remind yourself of them
before your big event.
 SELF-AFFIRMATION
THEORY

Application to Life
ACTIVITY | Write down QUESTION | Now choose
three values that embody one. Which value is the
who you are: most YOU?

1. Example: I am an honest person. Example: At my core, I think of myself as a

2. Example: I am a teacher (of my family teacher above all else. Even with my chil-
and students). dren I am a teacher. This is what I most
3. Example: I am a hard worker. identify with.
 ACTIVITY
QUESTION | Remember a time when Come up with a value
you most embodied this value—when
you were most an example of this value. statement that you can use
What happened? What did you do? in stressful situations.
Example: There is one day that stands out
to me. I remember walking through the park
with my husband when we came to notice
a few teenagers playing together. I noticed “Above all, I am
one playing rough with the other, teasing him _____________________
inappropriately—and I stepped in to give
them a bit of a lesson about friendship. It’s
_____________________”
funny, because I remember my husband tell-
ing me that it was out of character because “Regardless
I’m normally shy; but that’s not always true,
when I feel like there’s something to teach, of the outcome of this
that value trumps all other worries… situation I will still be
_____________________
_____________________
_____________________”

NOTE | Do this: before

a difficult situation, help
yourself be present by
reminding yourself of your
values. Use the above value
statement.
 BIG IDEA #3: BUYING
YOUR OWN STORY

“When our body language is confident and open, other people respond
in kind, unconsciously reinforcing not only their perception of us
but also our perception of ourselves.” - Amy Cuddy

It’s nearly impossible to exude presence What is confidence then?

if you don’t buy your own story. You must
know not only who you are deep down Confidence, at its core, is a lack of awk-
(i.e. your values), but also allow your phys- wardness. You can be a little anxious or
iology to align with that confidence. uncomfortable (that is alright), but if you
don’t deep down BELIEVE what you are
How to catch a liar: selling (your idea even)—then it will show
through.
Some people say that you can catch a liar
by watching where their eyes dart, up or
down—but the research doesn’t show this
to be the case.The truth is that honesty al-
lows for synchronicity between what you
are saying and how you are saying it. If you
aren’t confident, your body will show this.
 BUYING YOUR OWN
STORY

Application to Life
QUESTION | What is something you’re QUESTION | Why do you believe that?
deeply passionate about? Is it an idea? A Write down an argument for your belief.
value? Write down an example of some-
thing you truly believe in. Example: Well the evidence is pretty over-
whelming. In one study, for example…
Example: I know it seems controversial and
maybe even not all that important, but I’ve
always been a huge believer in filtered water.
Ever since I was a kid my parents taught me
how many chemicals are in the water we
drink from the faucet.

QUESTION | How did that feel to write

that argument above? Circle which:

EASY | DIFFICULT

NOTE | This is what happens when you

believe in yourself. Your confidence grows,
and your ability to articulate yourself, both
in speech and in posture, rises.
 BIG IDEA #4: POWER
Does content matter?
Yes! You may be wondering why we’re fo-
cusing on confidence more than content.
Isn’t it true that competence matters? Do
we really want to trick people into think-
ing that we’re proficient, that we are good
for the job, when we’re really not? Of
course not.
Mastering Presence isn’t about having
power over or deceiving people, it’s about
having power over yourself. It’s not a sub-
stitute for skill, it’s a complement to it.
When we are powerful we expand out-
ward, are quicker to act, take advantage
of opportunities when they present them-
selves, and most importantly—help others
when they are need.
As Robert Caro says:
- “Power does not corrupt, power reveals.”
Here’s how Amy puts it:
“When we are truly present in a
challenging moment, our verbal
and nonverbal communication
flows. We are no longer
occupying a discombobulated
mental state — simultaneously
analyzing what we think others
think of us, what we said a
minute earlier, and what we
think they will think of us after
we leave, all while frantically
trying to adjust what we’re
saying and doing to create the
impression we think
they want to see.”
- Amy Cuddy
 POWER

Application to Life
QUESTION | When you think about
power—what first comes to mind?

Example: Politicians, corruption…

QUESTION | Think of a situation when

QUESTION | Why?
Example: I don’t think of power as a good
thing. It seems like something that is used for
evil more than for good…
you were you were too slow to act. What
happened? Who did you not help when
you could have?
Example: One time at work I witnessed one
of my bosses speak really inappropriately to
one of my colleagues. I wanted to say some-
thing but I didn’t because…
 POWER

QUESTION | Why did you feel powerless
in this situation?
Example: I thought that if I spoke up I would
fired, or worse…
QUESTION | Now remember a time
when you were capable and skilled enough
to perform well, but you didn’t because
you were too anxious. What happened?
Example: I remember in high school I studied
a lot for my SAT test, for almost a year I stud-
ied at least once a week, but when it came
down to the actual day of the exam—I don’t
know what happened, but I froze. I knew that
I knew the answers, but my mind was so wor-
ried about being worried that it didn’t leave
room for actually solving the problems…
 BIG IDEA #5: THE BODY
MIND CONNECTION

How can your posture

affect your mood?

Presence is not just about being confident; “Expanding your body

it is also about being calm under pressure.
Testosterone is the confidence hormone, physiologically prepares you
while cortisol is the stress hormone. Some to be present; it overrides your
studies have shown that by holding a pow-
er pose for one minute you decrease your
instinct to fight or flee, allowing
cortisol and increase your testosterone. you to be grounded, open,
The opposite is true while holding a pow- and engaged.” - Amy Cuddy
erless pose.

That is a MASSIVE mood swing.

As they say
- goes the body, so goes the
mind.
 THE BODY MIND
CONNECTION

Application to Life
ACTIVITY | Imagine that QUESTION | How do
you just won a gold medal. you feel?
Express yourself. What do
you do with your body? Example: I feel like a
Hold it for one minute. champion. Like I just won a
gold medal! Ha.

NOTE | This is a power pose.

ACTIVITY | Now imagine ACTIVITY | Circle the
you just lost your job. emotions that describe
Express yourself. What do how you feel:
you do with your body?
Hold it for one minute.
DEPRESSED 1 CONFIDENT

RELAXED | UPTIGHT

HAPPY | EXCITED

MOTIVATED | LOST

UNCOMFORTABLE | ALONE

ANGRY | LETHARGIC

ENERGETIC | STRONG

NOTE | This is a powerless WEAK | POWERFUL

pose.
ACTIVITY | Try this: sit in a
powerful pose for 1 minute.
Expand outward.

QUESTION | How do you feel?

Example: I feel excited, strong, ready to take on the world…
QUESTION | What are the moments QUESTION | When do you do this?
when you feel most powerless?
Example: Most often I do this during meet-
Example: I feel powerless when I’m unable to ings at work…
speak my mind, when I know I have a good
idea but I just can’t muster up the courage to
share it for fear of being judged.

NOTE | Now do the opposite. Expand. Be

bold. Share!
 BIG IDEA #6: PREJUDICE

Is there a gender gap when THIS MUST

it comes to confidence and
presence? STOP

Yes. Even at powerful universities like Har- “This is how self-fulfilling

vard, women are less likely to participate
in class, less likely to take leadership roles prophecies work: we have an
in group dynamics, and overall are less expectation about who someone
outwardly confident than their male coun-
terparts.
is and how she’s likely to
behave, then we treat her in a
When and why does this way that is likely to elicit those
happen?
behaviors, thus confirming our
At a very young age, children begin to initial expectations… and so
associate powerful postures with males
and powerless postures with females.
on.” - Amy Cuddy
There are many theories, but one is that
we encourage girls to curl up into them-
selves, to adopt smaller postures in order
to “be a lady.”
 PREJUDICE
Application to Life
QUESTION | How can I encourage ladies
to take up more space at a young age?
Example: In general, I can stop saying things
like “sit like a lady” or “that’s not lady like”…
QUESTION | How am I going to help the
girls in my life feel more powerful? List
three ways:
Example: I will watch female sporting events
with my nieces to show them that female
athletes too can be role models.
1.
2.
3.
 BIG IDEA #7: SELF
NUDGING
What is Self-Nudging?
This idea comes up all over the place. Small
steps lead to big gains.You’re probably not
going to reinvent yourself overnight, but
you definitely can choose to constantly
become a better person rather than say-
ing stagnant or worse—losing momentum.
Here are a few ways to
make small gains with
regard to Presence:
1. Before an important event stand in a
power pose for one minute.
2. Change your posture while at work.
3. Take a few walks every day to give
yourself a break from sitting.
4. When you’re nervous—tell yourself
“I’m excited.”
5. Remind yourself of your primary value.
“We don’t get there by deciding to change right now. We do it gently, incrementally,
by nudging ourselves - a bit further every time.” - Amy Cuddy
“When you’re excited it primes an op-
portunity mindset, so you think of all
of the good things that can happen.
You’re more likely to make decisions
and take actions that will make [good
results] likely to occur.” - Amy Cuddy
What is an easy yet power-
ful self-nudge?
A study was conducted for people right
before a difficult situation. They were
asked to think about themselves as calm,
nervous, or excited.
What happened?
Those who told themselves that they
were excited performed the best.
WHAT NOT TO DO - when you’re ner-
vous, do not try to convince yourself that
you are not nervous, that you are calm -
instead tell yourself “I am excited.”
 SELF NUDGING

Application to Life
QUESTION | What’s a small improve- QUESTION | How can you start to im-
ment you’ve made in the past that has had prove your presence right now? What’s
a lasting benefit in your life? the smallest way possible?

Example: I started playing a game with my- Example: The easiest way is I can start to
self: instead of committing to going to the take breaks at work and stretch out…
gym, I just committed to putting on my gym
shoes in the morning—and guess what hap-
pened? I started going…

NOTE | Do this today!

 SELF NUDGING
Application to Life
QUESTION | What are you most afraid
of? What worries you the most? When
you’re the most nervous. Write down the
ultimate worst case scenario for nerves:
Example: I am basically terrified of confront-
ing people when I feel offended by some-
thing they’ve done. In short—I rarely defend
myself…
QUESTION | Now imagine you are in
this situation—and tell yourself that you
are calm. Does this change how you feel?
Why not?
Example: Ehhh not really. I can’t just switch
to being calm.
NOW TELL YOURSELF YOU’RE EXCITED.
Feel that excitement. In fact—the next time
you are in a difficult situation, tell yourself “I
am excited.” What happened?

Example: Interesting experiment. I always frame dif-

ficult confrontations in rather disheartening way. I feel
powerless and nervous and stunned into silence—but
this last time, when I was at work the other day one
of my coworkers put something on my desk and told
me to do it without asking me. Now this person isn’t
even my boss! So I took in a deep breath, told myself
“This is exciting, you’re going to grow from this” and
then marched right over to their desk and politely told
them that I didn’t have time for this task, and in the
future, if they need a favor, I would appreciate it if they
ASKED instead of just demanded. And you wouldn’t
believe what happened! I felt incredible, and on top
of it, my coworker apologized and said he knew that
I was write—that he was just stressed out himself.
Now I really am excited!
BIG IDEA #8: FAKE IT UNTIL
YOU BECOME IT
What is “Fake it until you
Become it”?
Some people say you should fake it until
you make it. But this is not true. What you
need to do is Fake it until you Become it.
“Don’t fake it till you make it.
Fake it till you become it.” - Amy Cuddy
STORY
Once Amy was overseeing a student who
was worried about her ability to give her
dissertation talk. Someone told her “fake
it until you make it” but this isn’t the best
way to think about it. You want, instead, to
cultivate in yourself a permanent change.
As you practice feeling confident in these
types of situations, you will build up a mus-
cle memory of sorts—which will allow
you to become a powerful person. Some-
one who believes in themselves because
they know their value.
 FAKE IT UNTIL YOU
BECOME IT
Application to Life
QUESTION | What are the qualities or
characteristics that you would like to have
that you don’t have right now?
Example: I would like to be more patient. I
wish I was a better public speaker…
QUESTION | Now let’s imagine you al-
ready are that person—what would you
have to do differently today to be this per-
son?
Example: Firstly I would have to see the world
a little bit differently, instead of being upset
every time something small happens, like
traffic on my way to work, or when someone
criticizes my work—I could instead take a
few deep breaths, remind myself of my core
values, and find a way to use that energy in
a positive way…
 BIG IDEA #9: MONITER
YOUR MONITOR
“Posture not only shapes the way we feel, it also shapes the way we
think about ourselves - from our self-descriptions to the certainty and
comfort with which we hold them. And those self-concepts can either
facilitate or hinder our ability to connect with others,
to perform our jobs, and, more simply, to be present.”
- Amy Cuddy

Hunching over to look at a screen results 1. Use larger screens

in many physical health problems, as well
as tricking your mind into believing that whenever possible
you are depressed. Remember—goes the
body, so goes the mind. 2. Take breaks to stretch
A study showed that in particular, the
out
smaller the screen, the worse it is for your
mental health. What you need to do to 3. Sit with your hands on
combat this is, when at all possible. your arm chair

4. Place items far away from

you so that you have to
reach to grab them

5. Take walking meetings

 MONITER YOUR MONITOR

Application to Life
QUESTION | How much time do you QUESTION | What of the above
spend looking at a screen every day? methods can you commit to adopting?
Why?
Example: If I’m being perfectly honest…
probably about 6 hours a day. Example: I definitely can, in the least, take
walking meetings. This would help open up
my body and allow me to...
 BIG IDEA #10: GET READY

Make a plan!
The literature is unequivocal. If
you want to make any serious
change in your life, if you want to
accomplish your goals, you first
must come up with a plan for
how to attain that goal.
We know that you want to be-
come more Present in your life,
especially in those moments of
intense stress—but without ac-
tion, all of this is for not.

“Presence emerges when we feel personally powerful,

which allows us to be acutely attuned to our most
sincere selves.” -Amy Cuddy
 GET READY

Application to Life
ACTIVITY | What’s your plan? How will you learn to become more
Present? Finish the following sentences:

At work I will…
Example: …remember to sit up straight and tall.

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

At home I will…
Example: …remind myself of my values.

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

When I feel nervous I will…

Example: …tell myself that I am excited rather than worried.

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________
 When I wake up I will remind myself to…
Example: …go on a power walk, arms out, head up…

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Before a big meeting I will…

Example: …remember to hold a power pose for

a few minutes before entering.

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________