LECTURE NOTES 3

(WEEK 10)

The topics included in this lecture notes are:

 Conciseness
 Using active sentences in oral presentation

MUHAMMAD HAZIQ BIN JAMIIL

203177
 LPE2301 ACADEMIC INTERACTION & PRESENTATION

SEMESTER 2, 2019/2020

Using Spoken Language

In an academic presentation, it is important to ensure that the language used allows audience
greater understanding and involvement with the presentation. Nevertheless, the presenter must
also ensure that the language fits the academic nature of the presentation. This can be
achieved through conciseness and the use of active sentences

In an academic presentation, it is important to ensure that the language used allows audience
greater understanding and involvement with the presentation. Nevertheless, the presenter must
also ensure that the language fits the academic nature of the presentation. This can be
achieved through conciseness and the use of active sentences.

Conciseness

Choosing words that capture the meaning that you want to convey to the audience can be
challenging. In order to make your audience understand your message easily, you have to be
selective on the choice of words in your presentation.

Conciseness allows you to express your message in fewest words possible. Concise words are
brief but comprehensive. They help your audience to understand the information quickly, thus,
enable them to maintain their attention to your presentation.

There are a number of ways to achieve conciseness in your presentation.

1. Use short sentences

When presenting your points, use simple sentences that are direct and clear. It helps your
audience to process the information easily and quickly. Short sentences highlight important
points and keep distractions away from your audience’s attention.

Example:

Wordy – In a conservative society, the opinions of teenagers and adolescents are

always being left behind.

Concise – Conservative society usually neglects the opinions of youths.

2. Avoid unnecessary and redundant words
Choose only meaningful words to keep your message short. This is to ensure your message
reach your audience directly and allows your audience to process the information faster.

Example:

Wordy – In my opinion, I think the government should make vaccination to children

compulsory.

Concise – In my opinion, the government should make vaccination to children

compulsory.

Wordy – Many uneducated citizens who have not attended school continue to

urge for better school.

Concise – Many uneducated citizens continue to urge for better school facilities.

3. Avoid using jargons or technical terms

Using jargons that are unfamiliar to general audience makes it unnecessarily difficult for
them to interpret your message. However, jargons are allowed if you are certain that your
audience understands them.

Example:

With jargon – Effective communication requires native and non-native

interlocutors to collaborate.

Concise – Speakers work together to communicate successfully.

4. Use action verbs

Action verbs are meaningful and descriptive words which allow the audience to better
visualise your message. Avoid using too many auxiliary verb (is, has or are). Instead, use
verbs to describe specific actions.

For example:

Auxiliary verb – There are three reasons that cause teenagers to have a sedentary

lifestyle.

Action verb – Three reasons influenced them to lead a sedentary lifestyle.

5. Avoid using negatives
Positive words or positive sentences allow for faster process of information by audience
rather than focusing on the negatives (not, no, un-,in-, mis- and non-). This can be achieved
by writing the sentence in positive forms or replacing negatives with words with similar
meaning and function.

For example:

Negative – You are not able to protect the future generation if you do not vaccinate

your children.

Concise – Protect our future generation by vaccinating your children.

Negative – The event becomes uninteresting if famous speakers are not invited.

Concise – The event becomes dry if famous speakers are absent.

Activity 1

Rewrite the sentences below to achieve conciseness.

Example:

Problem : Using long sentence

Original sentence In the eventuality of a fire, it is imperative that all persons evacuate
:
the building without undue delay.

Revised sentence In case of a fire, it is important that everybody leaves the building
:
at once.

1. Problem : Using jargon

All teachers at this school are expected to achieve high

Original sentence :
standards in their instructional duties.
 _in this school all teacher were expect to get high standard in
Revised sentence : teaching

2. Problem : Using negative sentence

The group assignment cannot be completed because some

Original sentence :
students are not doing their parts.

___the group assignment can’t be done because some student

Revised sentence : won’t do their parts__

3. Problem : Using redundant or unnecessary words.

He was really late to his English class due to the fact that he had
Original sentence :
to finish his Science test.

_he was late to the class because he had to finish his science
Revised sentence : test

4. Problem : Using long sentence

My brother, who is employed as a nutritionist at the University of

Original sentence :
Florida, recommends the daily intake of megadose of Vitamin C.

_my brother work as nutriotionist at university of florida

Revised sentence : recommend to consume vitamin C regularly

5. Problem : Using weak verb

There are many benefits of using social medias in teaching and

Original sentence :
learning.

_teaching and learning by using social medias could give so

Revised sentence : many benefits
 Using active sentences in oral presentation
It is imperative to use active sentences in oral presentation as your content will sound more
convincing as the active sentence focuses on the doer of an action.

Example:

Active sentence: We should donate blood because it can save lives of many

people around the world.

Passive sentence: Blood should be donated because it can save lives of many

people around the world.

An active sentence sounds more responsible and credible in the above example as the doer
(We) performed the action (should donate) on an object (blood). As for the example of passive
sentence, it sounds weak, as if you are not taking responsibility for the problem because the
focus is on the object (blood).

An active sentence also creates better emotions as it provides a clearer visual in the mind of the
audience. Using active sentences in presentation also can evoke the audience’s emotion.

Example:

Active sentence: Many volunteers all around the world were helping the tsunami

victims.

Passive sentence: The tsunami victims were being helped by many volunteers

around the world.

ACTIVE PASSIVE

Simple present Alia reads two articles every Two articles are read by Alia
day. every day.

Simple past Finn submitted the writing The writing assignment was
 assignment yesterday. submitted by Finn yesterday.

Present continuous The students are revising their The writing drafts are being
writing drafts. revised by the students.

Past continuous The teacher was giving Feedbacks were being given
feedbacks on her students’ by the teacher on her students’
presentations. presentations.

Future The faculty will offer many Many new programmes will be
new programmes next year. offered by the college next
year.

Present perfect Gary has completed his work. The work has been completed
by Gary.

Past perfect They had won the choral The choral speaking
speaking competition. competition had been won by
them.

Future perfect The manager will have The new programmes will
reviewed the new programmes have been reviewed by the
by the end of this year. manager by the end of this
year.

Modal You must finish the outline by The outline must be finished
tomorrow. by tomorrow.

You should have finished the The report should have been
reports three weeks ago. finished three weeks ago.

Activity 2

Rewrite each of the following sentences using active voice.

1. The current status report has been attached by the auditor.

__auditor had attach the current status report

2. Several steps have been taken by the employees to correct the errors found in the self-audit
reports.
__the employees take several step to correct the erros found in the self-audit report

3. The participants were greeted by Rita Chong, and the keynote speaker was introduced by
her.
 ____rita chong greet the participant and she introduce the keynote speaker

4. Part of the colleges should have been renovated by the management.

__the management should renovate some part of the colleges

5. The current status report has been attached, and I have highlighted the important figures.
__i have highlighted the important figures and also attached the current status report