Seeing into the Soul
N FOURTEENTH CENTURY SIENA, one man
challenged a rather self-important individual
to join him in making a visit to the virgin
Catherine. Not willing to turn down a
challenge, the macho man agreed. When they
arrived, the saintly virgin, Catherine of Siena, looked
intently at him. Her holy gaze caused him to turn
and run out the door. When apologies were offered
for his friend’s strange behavior, St. Catherine
replied, “Not to worry. He is on his way to
confession as we speak.” She saw into the very
depths of his soul, and made him aware of what was
there.
We cannot arrive at perfect love of God without
humility, and this most essential virtue is the fruit of
self-knowledge. But of all knowledge, self-
knowledge seems the most difficult to learn. Have
you not wanted to look into your soul to catch a
glimpse of your very self as you would look at the
reflection of your face in a mirror? Thousands upon
thousands flocked to see the saintly confessors Jean
Marie Vianney and Padre Pio because these priests
could see into their souls and reveal to them what
was hidden inside. Others often see things in us that
we cannot see. Yet, we readily deny the accuracy of
their view or else find excuses as to why what they
see must be wrong. What is needed, therefore, is a
mirror that will enable us to see for ourselves what is
going on in our own souls. Although such a mirror
cannot be purchased and is only rarely found in
saints like Padre Pio, it nevertheless can, with some
courage and determination, be constructed with a
little effort on our part and help from Divine
Revelation.
A good place to start is His Majesty’s Sermon on
the Mount… “why seest thou the mote that is in thy
brother’s eye; and seest not the beam that is in thy own
eye? Or how sayest thou to thy brother: Let me cast the
mote out of thy eye; and behold a beam is in thy own eye?
Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam in thy own eye,
and then shalt thou see to cast out the mote out of thy
brother’s eye” (Matt 7:3-5). How can we discover this
beam in our own eyes? We can start by thinking of
the beam as being like an unhealthy fire that burns in
our souls and produces much smoke to cloud our
vision. Smoke is a product of fire. As we say, where
there is smoke, there is a fire. Thus, if we can take note
of the smoke, we can eventually find the fire and put
it out, that is, remove the beam, using His Majesty’s
term.
Taking advantage of the smoke, however, will
require some effort. A notebook should be used to
help us record various things about the appearance
of the smoke. As St. John Climacus (d. 606) records
in The Ladder of Divine Ascent, this is an ancient idea:
“I paid special attention to the brother in charge of
the refectory. I noticed that he had a small book
hanging in his belt, and I learned that every day he
noted down his thoughts (inward promptings, some
of which may be demonic [temptations]) in it and
showed them to the shepherd. I found out that many
of the brothers did this … on the instruction of the
superior” (Step 4: Obedience). St. John Cassian (d.
435) offers something similar: “All the secret places
of our heart, therefore, must be constantly
scrutinized and the prints of whatever enters them
must be investigated in the most careful way, lest
perchance some spiritual beast, a lion or a dragon,
pass through and secretly leave its dangerous traces;
then, once our thoughts were neglected, access to the
sanctuary of our heart would be offered to still
others” (Conferences, XXII, 2).
Imitating these holy monks, over a span of a
week or more, take careful note of the circumstances
(of time, places and persons) when smoke appears in
our daily life. The smoke to look for can be reduced
to four categories: (i) distractions experienced during
prayer; (ii) things that annoy us, sadden us, or cause
fear and suspicions to arise; (iii) what gives us
comfort or consolation when annoyed; (iv) things we
say (e.g., complaints, murmurings, bad words, lying,
etc). Let’s consider each of these in turn with a little
more detail.
Always fight distractions while in prayer, as this
effort is pleasing to God and merits grace. It is
important, however, to keep in mind that His
Majesty could prevent these distractions if He so
willed. Thus, He is allowing them to help us. He
taught us: “A good man out of the good treasure of
his heart bringeth forth that which is good: and an
evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth that
which is evil. For out of the abundance of the heart
the mouth speaketh” (Luke 6:42). By praying we
seek to draw closer to God. He wants this more than
we do. Thus, He allows whatever is blocking closer
union with Him to surface. As St. Teresa of Jesus
writes: “He withdraws His favor a little. No more is
necessary, for I would wager that we’d then soon get
to know ourselves” (Interior Castle, 3:2, 2). In
allowing the distractions, God is helping us to get to
know ourselves! Thus, fight the smoke of on their own sins, the more interested they become
distractions during prayer, but afterward, take note of in the sins of others. They seek to criticize, not to
them for the sake of constructing the soul mirror. correct. Unable to excuse themselves, they are ready
About annoyances, St. Abba Dorotheus writes: to accuse others.” What do we complain about?
“The reason for all disturbance, if we look to its What causes us to raise our voice, interrupt the
roots, is that no one finds fault with himself. This is speech of others, or meet with friends in order to
the source of all annoyance and distress. This is why vent our feelings? By noting these sorts of things, the
we sometimes have no rest.” St. Teresa of Jesus fires causing the smoke can be found and put out.
teaches: “whoever has humility and detachment can After enough information is gathered in the
easily go out and fight with all hell together and notebook, we now have a body of knowledge to
against the whole world and all its occasions of sin.” work with. To make the most of this acquired data in
With this in mind, record the appearance of the our effort to construct a soul mirror, let us now turn
smoke of annoyance, sadness, and fear by noting the to consider His Majesty’s parable of the Sower and
time of day, with whom it occurred, and over what the Seed: “Hear ye: Behold, the sower went out to sow.
matters. It can also be helpful to write down all that And whilst he sowed, some fell by the way side… some fell
bothers us about a person or a upon stony ground… some fell
situation as well as all our fears among thorns… And some fell
and suspicions. Later we can upon good ground…”
cross out the person’s name and His Majesty gave us the
ask ourselves: what is it in me parable’s literal interpretation,
that causes this smoke to appear? namely that each type of
When suffering an upset or ground is a certain sort of
moment of dejection, fallen man person depending on how he
readily turns to something responds to the seeds of God’s
pleasurable to offset his pain. graces. However, since man is
Some of these things are a sort of micro-cosmos of the
legitimate and even pleasing to world around him, we can
God… such as going to readily and safely consider a
confession, going for a healthy mystical interpretation, namely
walk, speaking to one’s spouse that our soul is the field
about a difficulty, and so on. wherein the seed is sown. As
Unfortunately, however, man one Carmelite saint put it:
readily turns to eating or “Since God planted the seeds
drinking something out of due of goodness in us, we can be
order, or to speaking about certain that He is awaiting the
things to the wrong people. fruits.”
When things do not go as they With our soul as the field,
ought for us, to whom or to what according to the parable, there
do we turn to find solace? When must be four kinds of ground
this smoke rises up, again in us: the pathways, the stony
register the circumstances of ground, the thorny ground,
times, places, and persons in the “Surely thou also art one of them; for even
and the good ground. Let’s
notebook. thy speech doth discover thee.”
consider each type.
Finally, as His Majesty The PATHWAYS are
teaches in the Gospel, the tongue is a great betrayer nothing but our habitual sins. These sins can be big
of the fire smoldering in our souls: “For out of the or little: either mortal or venial. In either case, the
abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” This smoke devils (the birds of the air) take advantage of these
is readily seen and is often clouding our minds. pathways to tempt us and to get us to fall over and
When anything pains or annoys us, it is a natural over again. They do not have to work hard because
impulse to relieve our feelings by telling our griefs to these sins are habitual! Conversely, because they are
others, partly from a hope of sympathy, partly so well trodden, we have to work extra hard at
because it is a great relief to express our vexation breaking up the compacted, stone-like earth of which
and sorrow in order to hear from our listener that we the pathways are composed. Confession is only part
are not going crazy. Yet, such use of the tongue is of the answer since it removes the guilt but not the
rarely made without some smoke blackening the air. habit nor all the punishment due to our sins.
Thus, St. Augustine says: “the less men concentrate
 Recall from the parable how “the birds of the air”
devour the seed spread on these pathways.
Although the devil is very good at making us to
desist in breaking up the pathways, we too play our
part, namely we treat the graces of God with some
contempt. How so? We look at bad things… read
bad things… think on bad things… even when we
know we should not, often saying to ourselves, “I
will just go to confession…” We go to confession
routinely without really being sorry for our sins,
failing to conceive a horror for sin; and,
consequently, we continue to sin again and again.
See how the precious seeds of God’s graces are
trampled underfoot by none other than ourselves?
Thus, St. Teresa of Jesus: “For the love of God, take
great care never to grow careless about venial sin,
however small.” Do we know the pathways in our
soul? By studying our notebook in the presence of
God, they will present themselves.
The STONES or rocky ground can be taken as
our faults (usually identified by the seven deadly
sins) or character flaws. These are things that we
have had a long time. They are not sins themselves
but things we trip over to commit sin… things that
incline us to sin. Normally, they are faults and flaws
we grew-up with. Some were passed on to us by the
example of our family, friends and relatives (e.g.,
uncouth speech and manners). Others we picked up
on our own along the way. These stones need to be
identified, pulled up and transformed into a
beautiful Grotto for Our Lady.
How often does it happen that we reach a certain
point in the spiritual life but then give up on
holiness? Why? Among other reasons, there is this
one: we get to the point of having to give up who we
think we are. We say to ourselves, “If I do that, I will
no longer be myself… I will no longer be me.” The
problem is that we confuse our true self with our
idiosyncrasies and character flaws, some of which
we are rather proud of. Have we not heard people
say: “I cannot help it, that is just the way I am”? Are
we any different? Do we know what makes up the
stony ground in our soul? These are readily found in
the notebook, for those with eyes to see.
The THORNY GROUND represents our
worldly attachments. How many of us are very
much attached to things in our life and find
ourselves working hard to preserve them, or still
unsatisfied, strive to get more of the same? These
may be food, they may be something material, even
very small things as St. Therese confessed how
attached she became to certain paint brushes. These
things get in the way of God working in our life and
choke off the good that God has planned for us.
Attachments are often discovered by our
behavior… by our unwillingness to let go of things
or our sadness when they are gone or our upset
when others use them or our fear that they may be
lost. Fears, sadness, and suspicions help us locate
this soil. Do we know the thorns in our soul? We
should want them removed! As St. Teresa of Jesus
said: “whoever has humility and detachment can
easily go out and fight with all hell together and
against the whole world and all its occasions of sin.”
Reflecting on the body of knowledge contained in
our notebook will help reveal what our attachments
are.
And finally there is the GOOD SOIL. O how
easily we exaggerate this part of our soul! We should
take note how readily we seem to know this soil
while remaining blind to the other types! Thus, the
saying in morality: a man is rarely a good judge in his
own case. On the other hand, ironically, everyone else
seems to focus on the other kinds of soil in our souls
while overlooking the good! In any case, this fertile
and fruitful ground represents our virtues and
talents, our good will and our strengths. We all
possess them to a degree, but we must not be
satisfied with the little we have, but ever long and
strive to grow more and more fertile… by recovering
more and more land: “Be ye perfect as your heavenly
Father is perfect.” Would that our entire soul were this
good soil! This is certainly possible as the Saints have
shown us. The good soil needs to be cultivated. This
can be done by prayerfully examining our notes to
construct a mirror into the soul. With the help of this
mirror we will be humbled as well as moved to
make amends… ready to start afresh to make our
whole soul a rich and fertile field by readily
accepting each and every seed sown by His Majesty.
Thus, once the mirror begins to show the
pathways, stony and thorny grounds, it is important
to make daily concrete resolutions to overturn these
unhealthy soils in some way. This requires that at
least one examination of conscience be made during
the day to see how we have faired, as well as a
general examination at the day’s end. Because of
forgetfulness and the fast-paced style of our lives, it
is wise to use the same notebook to write down our
resolutions and failures. This effort will also make
our frequent confessions much easier and more
fruitful. Finally, it is very Catholic that we have an
intention for whom our struggle is offered. Welcome
to the cross that is easy and the burden that is light.
Let us now go and fight the good fight!
Schema for Seeing into the Soul
FIRST: take NOTE of the smoke of the soul over a span of a
week or more, noting especially…
• distractions at prayer,
• fears,
• suspicions,
• annoyances & moments of anger,
• times of sadness,
• complaints,
• criticisms,
• moments of indulgence,
• seeking comforts out of due order, etc...

SECOND: with this body of knowledge, retire to consider

prayerfully what they mean.

THIRD: patterns should present themselves such that the

following appear…
• pathways—habitual sins,
• stony ground—faults and flaws,
• thorny ground—attachments,
• good soil—strengths and virtue.

Congratulations… you have found the fire!

You have constructed a mirror into the soul.

FOURTH: put out the fire by filling up the reservoir of the

soul with grace ...
• through frequent meditation and forming concrete
resolutions to overturn and transform the defective
ground into good, rich soil (be sure to see the write-up,
LESS ME and My Battle Plan against Sin for help),
• through the frequent and devout reception of the
Sacraments,
• through acts of penance and mortification.