1.

Team CLutch (Tries to) Practice social Distancing

{Intro sequence plays}
INT. The Couch - Morning
Qt Dyce:
Hey, How's everyone's global health crisis going?
You're depressed due to the economy failing and the
existential dread of not
accomplishing anything meaningful in your lifetime?
Same here, we’re just trying to make everyone’s quarantine
just a little less miserable?

[Incessant Arguing in the background]

Qt Dyce:
Shut the fucc up, I'm trying to record an intro sequence.
[Tv static Sound effect cut]

[More people join into the argument and footsteps start to

come towards the room]
Qt Dyce:
What the hell is going on in there?
Qt Dyce:
[gets up from the couch in anger and proceeds to walk to the
door]
Qt Dyce:
Yo, let me in, what’s going on in th-

[Door opens with barrel of shotgun essentially down his

throat]

TITLE CARD: "24" by IDK

 2.

TEAM CLUTCH PRACTICES SOCIAL DISTANCING

Qt Dyce:
(voice shakily) You’re gonna do what i think you’re gonna-
[Cocks shotgun and 200 pumps Qt Dyce in the head]
INT. THE COUCH - MOMENTS LATER
[Lxnley-FN is on the couch]
Undescriptive cameraman/david?:
How does it feel being brutally assaulted by several people,
What went through your mind at the time?
LXNLEY-FN:
Honestly dude, shit got me buggin suckin on caleb’s dick’n
shit.
I should fuck em up.
Undescriptive cameraman/david?:
Wow, that must have been rough on you,
But what I want to know is what's all the conflict about?

LXNLEY-FN:

I Just kept it real, I approached him and said "Yo, you been
pretty inconsistent with the clan since you got a PC Setup, I
get you excited. But, I kinda feel like we not on the same
page" The dude rocked in my face, so then I was like you can
catch these hands if you want to. Sounds pretty fuckin
reasonable to me.

{Switches to Caleb’s side of the story}

INT. The Couch - MORNING

ORZO:
 3.

Oh man, he said that. This dude, that's not what happened,

That nigga was talking lots of shit, he wasn't professional
at all.
[John is yelling at him, and punches him in the stomach hard.
Caleb respawns.]

LXNLEY-FN:
See, this that no-deddy shit. Y'all some hoes on skrilla.

{ FADE OUT}

INT. The Living Room- Evening

[Cameraman interviews a clan member thats by himself]

Undescriptive cameraman/david?:
My job has been pretty shit today,

What are your views on Orzo and Lxnely little dispute?

Geniex:

Honestly man, it’s pretty stupid if you ask me, But i don’t
see where they are coming from so I really don’t know.

[Khalid walks over]

I-AM-KJayzz:
What’s going on over here?
 4.

Geniex:

Nothing man, just something about some stupid clan dispute

between Orzo and Lxnely.

I-AM-KJayzz:
Oh that, Yeah man I think that shit pretty dumb too.

Geniex:
Yeah man that’s what i was saying i honestly don’t understand
why-

[Geniex get’s abruptly cut off}

Muppy-SVN:

Aye, come outside I think Orzo and Lxnely-FN are going to

fight.

Geniex:

Yo, deadass i wanna see!

INT. Field-Sunset
Patchy:

Yo, can I join cuz i wanna beat some ass.

Lxnely-FN and Orzo:

[Both speak]
Shut the fuck up patchy!

Orzo:

Nah, only I can tell Patchy to shut the fuck up.

 5.

Lxnely-FN:

Why you talking in the first place, I should fuck you up.

Orzo:

You ain’t gon hit anyone, even if you do you a bitch

regardless.

Lxnely-FN:

What you talkin bout, watch this shit.

[Both pull out legendary pump shotgun]

[Qt Dyce interrupts]

Qt Dyce:

Hey guys, before you fight can I say something?

[Uncopyrighted Somber music plays]

Qt Dyce:

I’ve been struggling with bitches recently, I’ve been buying

girls skins on fortnite just for them to block and report me.
Sometimes I give them five dollars to play one fortnite game
with me but they just take the money and get my account
banned. I even lost my pancreas because this girl said “I
need it for my dying stepdog’s cousin” and I gave it to her
and she sold it on the black market for 20,000$ dollars. But
what i’m really trying to say is that i need help.
Everyone collectively:

Dude, shut the fuck up!!

Orzo:

I was about to fight his ass but you ruined the whole vibe.
Patchy:

Yeah man, let’s go.

 6.

[the crowd disperses]

Qt Dyce:

Wait guy’s don’t go. I have a serious simping problem.

(*Sniffles)

Undescriptive cameraman/david? [Whispers to himself]:

Great, now i'm stuck with this loser…

Qt Dyce:

What did you just say??

Undescriptive cameraman/david?:

Oh NotHinG..

Qt Dyce:

Nah man, it’s true i'm a big fucking simp, that’s all i’ll
ever be.

Geniex:
Nah man, don’t say that i’m here for you.

Muppy-SVN:

Nope, we’re here for you.

Qt Dyce:

You’re just saying that to make me feel better then laugh

behind my back.

Geniex:
That’s not what me and Muppy think, we’re your true friends.
But the stepdog cousin

Part was pretty fucking funny!

Muppy-SVN:
 7.

What he’s trying to say is that we’ll help you get over your
simping ways. Even the cameraman will help, right?

Undescriptive cameraman/david?:

I Guess.

Qt Dyce:
That’s cool and all but I don’t know how to stop simping,
it’s like it’s in my soul that I need female validation.
Truthfully I don’t know how.

Geniex:

It’s simple, what makes you feel a part of something,

probably hanging out with friends, doing something productive
or even something as simple as cleaning up.
Qt Dyce:

Yeah, those things do make me feel validated, Let’s get

started.
{Montage plays}
Song title played- Eye Of the Tiger

[Campfire scene]
[Fishing scene]

Honestly whatever scene you feel like putting.

Montage can be however long you need it to be.
{Montage ends}

INT. The Living room- Morning

Qt Dyce:
Wow, I have no simping tendencies anymore. As Corny as this
sounds being productive and hanging out with friends gets rid
of toxic energy.
Geniex:

Speaking of toxicity, look over there.

[Sees Caleb and John in the distance]
Muppy-SVN-
 8.

Oh boy here we go again.

[They run over to the conflict]

Patchy:
I can’t wait for them to fight so I can join in on this
action.
Orzo:

Now that Qt Dyce corny ass is gone we can finally get this
shit settled.
[Both pull out building paper]

Patchy:
Oh shit boy, we finna see some action!

[Qt Dyce walks in from the background]

Qt Dyce:
Wait, guys it doesn’t have to be like this we can sort this
out. I went on a long treacherous spiritual journey to figure
out everything can be solved with
FRIENDSHIP!
Lxnely-FN:

Yo, I don’t even wanna fight anymore because this corny ass
dude.
Orzo-

If we become cool will you shut yah dumbass up?

Qt Dyce-

Yeah i guess, I didn’t want to say that corny ass monologue

anyway.
Patchy-
So no fight? Wow yo ass is corny.

I-AM-KayJayzz-
Nah, you corny for wanting to see other dudes fight.

[Someone is catching their breath in the background]

 9.

Jacob-
Hey what did i miss??

End Scene

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