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The Effect of Separation of Parents To T PDF
The Effect of Separation of Parents To T PDF
The study investigated the effect of separation of parents to their children with
The study adopted the use of questionnaire for the purpose of data collection. The
parents and how their children faired not only in school but also in the larger
the aid of children whose parents are separated in order to enable them make
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CHAPTER ONE:
INTRODUCTION
Separation is usually a painful decision for all family members, and parents
can become concerned about the effects on their children. Children do adjust to
changes in the family if both parents are prepared to communicate and work co-
Research suggests that ongoing unresolved conflict is harmful for children and
needs are even greater during family change. They cope best when they maintain a
relationship with both parents, brothers and sisters and their extended family - as
long as they are not exposed to risk of harm and high conflict. Research has also
shown that children will react to separation differently according to their age. This
needs to be taken into account when parenting arrangements are being made.
parenting arrangements, which will meet the children's needs over time.
AFRICAN EXPERIENCE
Still others argue that whether or not we view the family as "declining"
depends on our definition of "family." The high rates of divorce and out-of-
wedlock births indicate a decline in the institution of the family. No longer are
marriages arranged for political or economic gain, and children are not expected to
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contribute to family income. Instead, people choose mates based on love. This
fulfillment and relationships within a family, and this shift necessarily weakens the
In today's generation, people are more liberated. And because of that, a lot of
things are going on today that was never heard of before. Say for example, the
concept of being a single parent. Single parents are scattered all over the world, so
we can't say that it is because of culture or economic status. Rich or poor, a lot of
So is being a single parent bad? Some would say that they would prefer to
be a single parent. Some would say that having a mom and a dad is still proper for
a child. Some experts have pointed out some bad traits on children with single
parents. They say that having a single parent has certain effects on a child. Of
course, some effects are good but some are also bad. Since a lot of single parents
are dealing with their children by themselves, it is important that you notice and
being a single parent, you will be very close to your child or children. You will be
the only one they will look up to and you will have their undivided unconditional
love. You will also be the only authority they will look up to.
You will be able to have all of their respect and love, making it easy for
you to make rules and also for them to follow. In your family, there will be no
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pairing up or partnership between members. Your family will be very close and
Close family ties s the greatest effect a single parent can have on a child.
The child and single parent will have a very good, if not best, and a very open
relationship.
They will have a good communication line and no secrets will be kept from
each other. They will share everything with each other that will lead to a
and the physical abuse of children in the family, in schools, in the community and
and children born out of wedlock. The number of children who live and sleep on
the streets has been on the increase in most major urban areas in Nigeria. There are
so many locations in which children are found to be living on the street. Street
families are also becoming prominent in certain urban slum areas. These destitute
families can be found living under bridges, in public toilets and in markets. There
is near absence of social support to families especially female headed single parent
households. Their children too are in extremely precarious condition and urgently
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nature of the phenomenon and the traditional inhibitions on discussion of sexual
behaviour. Some studies, however, indicate that child prostitution is now common
in towns such as Owerri, Port Harcourt, Calabar and Edo in the South East and
South South geo-political zones, Markurdi and ilorin in the North central zone,
So if you look at it, being a single parent will be great considering the fact
that how good your relationship would be as parent and child. But being a single
parent also has its flaws. The difference may have some not so good effects on
your child.
that can be expected from children at various ages as they are affected by
separation.
Infants are highly dependent on the primary carer, needing stability during this
early stage of developing trust. Reactions to stress and change may include
mirroring the reactions of the primary carer. Short, frequent contacts are required
to develop relationships.
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Infants - 6 months to 2 years
carers, and separation from them may make children anxious or clingy. Their
concept of time is very different to that of adults, and a few hours may seem a very
long time to young children. Contact should be frequent and short and routines
consistent. High levels of parental conflict will impact on children, although they
Children may react with behaviours such as attention seeking, regression, protest,
Pre-schoolers - 3 to 5 years
As the child gets older, duration of contact can be increased, although pre-
schoolers still experience a short time as much longer than does an adult. Some
children in this age group may not cope with overnight contact due to their
These children have a rich fantasy life and do not always distinguish between
reality and imagination. They need extra understanding and patience from parents
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Children - 6 to 9 years
well as peer relations. They may still find it hard to express feelings easily and
Children may react with intense feelings of sadness, loss, guilt and conflicting
loyalties.
understanding from parents and those closest to them, these behaviours will reduce
over time. Children will be further helped by a cooperative parenting plan, which
may range from overnight, weekend and some holiday contact, to a shared
needs.
Children - 10 to 12 years
While these children have a greater capacity to understand and express feelings,
they may experience intense conflict over their loyalties to both parents. Children
may feel responsible to look after a distressed parent, or express blame and anger
Contact arrangements need to take into account the outside interests and
relationships often formed by children in this age group, balancing some flexibility
with routine.
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Adolescents - 13 to 16 years
Young people are developing independence, identity and maturity: friendships and
personal privacy are important in their lives. Resistance to contact, given the
adolescent's interests outside the home, may increase the need for negotiation and
feelings of anger, alignment with one parent, or refusal to take sides, which may
parental control, acting out or withdrawal behaviour, and feeling of sadness and
loss.
CONCEPTUAL CLARIFICATION
It is only within the context of the adult-child relationship that children accomplish
care will have a major impact on the child‟s psychological development and
Although the effects of parental separation/loss will vary from child to child and
family to family, the negative impact this has can be minimized if the child can
live in an environment that is supportive to the grieving process and able to offer
children who have suffered this trauma have not received sufficient help in
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resolving loss issues and are, to one degree or another, psychologically “stuck” at
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Short term effects:
• Undermining of the child‟s sense of security and trust that adults will be
available.
• With the changes in daily routine that accompany changes in caregivers, there
will be interruption in the acquisition of sequencing and basic cause and effect.
• The parents/caregivers need to be available “on demand” for the infant, once
• All interactions need to be gauged by asking the question, “What will help this
If the infant‟s dependency needs are not met, the child will grow up to be one who
continues to think life owes him. It is quite likely that he will have trouble ever
meeting
the dependency needs of others. Trust for others will be impaired. Learning
problems,
secondary to problems with cause and effect, may occur although they may not
become
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Short term effects:
disrupted.
• Interference with identity – with changes in family position, the child‟s ego
• The child‟s awareness of both internal and external stimuli may be dulled and
there will likely be regression in terms of the most recently acquired skills.
• Careful attention must be paid to meeting the child‟s dependency needs while at
the same time helping him feel more adequate and independent on his own terms.
• If undue pressure is put on the child to continue to function at his highest levels,
or to attain new skills without time for transition or reattachment, long range
There is the possibility the individual will permanently take on the “victim” or
“victimizer” role. Long term control issues may be prominent. A serious effect
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may be long term subtle language problems. As adults, these individuals may be
rigid, inflexible, and not able to deal appropriately with aggressive impulses.
• The child‟s egocentric magical thinking can cause him to misunderstand the
causes of the separation and loss. It is important that adults work hard to
identify the child‟s personal magical thinking about the loss. Does he think he
• The child may display indiscriminate attachment to adults and have conflicting
feelings about the “good” and “bad” traits in himself and others.
• Identifying, clarifying, and remedying the magical thinking (that the child is to
• Offering the child age-appropriate explanations for the separation and loss and
• Adequate opportunities for play must be provided; at this age all psychological
Because of the combination of magical thinking and the “good vs. bad” struggle,
the preschooler may perceive himself as so “bad” that he caused the loss.
Secondary to the combined effects of the magical thinking and the Oedipal
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conflict, the child may think the loss was related to his wanting the parent of the
opposite sex all to himself. This may have long term ramifications in terms of
sexual identify issues. This can be amplified in cases of sexual abuse. The magical
thinking and the “big vs. little” struggle may lead the child to attribute the loss to
• As the grade schooler goes through the grieving process, he will have less energy
and their peers and these may lead to problem behaviors with peers.
• Provide the child with opportunities to focus on grieving so that at other times he
can focus on the tasks at hand, whether they are academic or peer related.
• Help the child expand his thinking and understanding about losses with factual
information.
• Disengaging work is a priority at this age. The child needs to gain permission to
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Possible Long Range Effects of the Loss:
If the child has a series of disruptions in schooling and peer relationships during
these areas.
adolescent needs to come up against and oppose parent figures who are
nonetheless consistently available and caring. Parent separation and loss will
feels a large part of the decisions about his life are out of his control.
• Adolescents need to feel they have increasing control over their own lives.
Especially at times of separation and loss, adults must provide them with as many
• They need to be an integral part of the decision making for their future.
lives. They need as much information as is available about their early history so
that they can go on to identify formation and develop a sense of being worthwhile.
• Teens need help in deciding how much of their history to reveal to friends and
intimates.
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Possible Long Range Effects of the Loss:
If the adolescent believes he has lost all control over his life, he is likely to
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CHAPTER TWO
LITERATURE REVIEW
EMPIRICAL REVIEW
The issues for children whose parents are separating or divorcing include the
potential for the disruption of parenting functions and the potential to raise
separating parents hear their children‟s point of view during the separation
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process. When children are more directly involved, the level of conflict tends to be
are successful initiatives in assisting parents to hear children‟s point of view. The
Family Court has also used a similar process with the adoption of the Child
Long compared outcomes over one year for two groups of separated parents who
attended mediation over parenting disputes. Parents were engaged in either a Child
disputes that had brought them to mediation. Across all ages, children in both
interventions perceived less frequent and intense conflict between their parents
and better resolution of it, with a significant lowering of their own distress in
The Child Inclusive Intervention Group was associated with a number of effects
not evident in the other treatment group with the strongest effects for fathers and
for children. Significantly better outcomes at the one year post intervention point
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• Children‟s experience of improved emotional availability of their fathers and
• Greater contentment by children with care and contact arrangements, and less
children, despite initially lower levels of overnight contact than the child focused
fathers,
• children‟s overall mental health tended to improve over the year after
In 2006 research was conducted that identified existing strengths and gaps in
service provision for children and their families experiencing separation and
• There was a lack of support for children and parents during the separation
• There is a close relationship between parent separation and parental conflict and
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• There is a need to promote safety for children as well as their parents.
their view they had the right to contribute to decisions that affect them, they were
not given enough information or support to enable them to cope with family
transition.
• Families and children in rural and remote areas are more likely to face
• The needs and experiences of Aboriginal children and their families were not
aim was to collect a small snapshot on the range of support and counselling
services available for children whose parents have separated or who were in the
process of separating.
to provide specialised service for children, particularly for children in the younger
age brackets (ages 0 to 5). This information also revealed the availability of a
wider range of services for older children up to the age of 18. This included tools
such as interactive websites, help lines and the provision of counselling and group
sessions to assist children with issues relating to loss, grief and coping with
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Respondents also highlighted issues relating to the capacity of services to support
children and the need for multi-skilled practitioners to provide a flexible and
responsive service for families and children. For many respondents this capacity
services for children, such as child specific counselling, child consultations and
In the 2007-08 Budget $36.9 million was allocated over four years to two new
programs to assist parents. The first initiative is an educational program that will
The second initiative is the new Supporting Children after Separation Program.
This program will assist children from separating families in a number of areas of
high need across Australia to deal with issues arising from the breakdown in their
The objective of this new service type is to support children within the context of
their family to manage and enhance their relationships during and after family
separation.
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CHAPTER THREE
This chapter deals with the method used in gathering, analyzing and
recording all information relation to the data needed. The method was represented
Research design
Population
Research Instruments
Validity of Instrument
This research work adopted descriptive survey research design that entailed
finding out the effect of separation of parents on their children in Ijebu-ode Local
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3.2. POPULATION OF THE STUDY
The population of the research work was all Junior Secondary Schools in
Ijebu-ode Local Government Area. There are about thirty (30) Junior Secondary
Schools in Ijebu-Ode. This research spanned through the teachers and students in
population of the selected schools was used for the purpose of ensuring valid
result.
Four schools were selected from the entire population and the Junior
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3.4 RESEARCH INSTRUMENT
into two sections- A and B. Section A was designed to collect the demographic
data of the respondents while section B was designed in accordance with the
statistical tool of frequency count and percentage score. The section B of the
questionnaire used in this study was analysed using the non-parametric tool of chi
– square.
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En
Where;
X2 = Chi-Square
On = observed frequency
En = expected frequency
CONCLUSION
their age as well as their maturity. All research shows that the joint and common
conciliatory approach of parents to helping their children through this period will
minimise the adverse impact and shorten the transition from living with two
Many parents assume that because a child is showing different behaviour and
attitudes especially what would otherwise be inappropriate for a child of that age
and including when around times of handover of contact, the child does not want
to live with or see the other parent. More often, the child is showing stress at what
is a new, bewildering and unhappy situation. This stress may not have existed, or
at least have shown itself, before the separation. It can be reduced by parents
minimising the tensions of contact handovers and giving the child permission to
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It is important for both parents to understand the way their child may “normally”
react at such times, and that such reactions are not necessarily the cause for blame
Age 2 - 4
Children in this age group are starting to explore social relationships, such as
sharing with others, taking turns, being part of a wider group than just the narrow
family unit. They are often egocentric and believe that others behave and feel in
the way they do. They also believe they cause the actions of others. In very young
children, memory span is limited and not seeing significant adults for lengths of
time may stretch their abilities to recall or maintain attachments. Equally, they do
not attach importance to lengths of time spent in the company of either parent.
Age 4 - 7
This age group has an emerging ability to see another‟s viewpoint. They can start
to see in a basic fashion one parent‟s perspective on matters but not both
simultaneously. Accordingly, they are not able to sift and balance. They are likely
to tell different stories to each parent and are anxious to prove loyalty and love.
Age 7 - 9
These children have begun to develop self-reflective thinking. They can recognise
their own mixed feelings. They can hold more than one perspective at a time. They
may start to look at the viewpoints of each parent objectively. They will begin to
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make judgements about each parent and the parent‟s own behaviour to the child
and generally. They will begin to imagine how they are viewed by each parent,
and sometimes get it wrong. Powerlessness, sadness and pain are most acute at
this age and often seen in the child‟s strong reactions to parental conflict.
Age 9 - 13
Conflicts of loyalty can be increasingly maintained. This age group are most likely
to begin to make alignments with one or other parent. These alliances may vary
greatly in strength from mild and secret preference to open hostility where a child
They may wish to keep a safe distance from parental conflict and battles. In doing
Age 13 - 15
The alliances made in the earlier age group continue often into adolescence.
Teenagers develop their capacity for taking the perspective of third parties. With
this greater objectivity, they can withdraw strategically and obviously from
parental fights. Boys are more likely to be more obvious emotionally and
Age 16 +
At this age, especially with parental separation, children look to their own
independent life. They have their own concerns to make and develop relationships
at all levels. They may show particular anger and resentments at having to
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The above can only be guidelines and is basic. The effect of parental conflict in
itself can cause both behavioural regression and inappropriate (advanced) maturity
in children. Please speak to a specialist if you have anxieties about your child at a
together deal with any difficulties of the child, whatever may have been the
in this.
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References
Adelaide: Australian
Network for Promotion, Prevention and Early Intervention for Mental Health
(Auseinet).
Bagshaw, Dale Margaret, Karolyne Quinn, Birte Schmidt. (2006) Children &
South Australia
Applications to family law services and related sectors‟ (2007) AFRC Issues No. 1
http://www.aifs.gov.au/afrc/pubs/issues/issues1.html
Dispute A
Prospective Study of Outcomes from Child Focused and Child Inclusive Post-
Separation’
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