Paranoia

Accidentally, I stumbled again to this chapter of my life- the most crucial part.
The part that have I closed and locked away for the rest of my life. It's like a dead
dream that you tried to forget but you know hoe deep inside it's still at the back of
your mind. It's like useless stone that you have thrown away but still you get a chance
to step on it once again. You find it again haunting you every time you run away.
What else can I do? Tell me, what else can I do? Last night I couldn't sleep. The news
still bothers me. He's back again. I tell you, he's back again. He might be just around
the corner or at my doorstep. Maybe at the garage or even at my closet. I can't stand
the thought of him. Can you stand the thought of me like this? Did you hear a knock
on my door? Did you hear that ? That sound, that familiar vehicle sound. I know, he's
just out there somewhere. Help me! Close the doors and the windows, and make sure
I am safe and can never be found. Am I safe now? Am I safe in this four cornered
room that I have built? Am I safe with all the locks and codes that pathetically assure
me he'll never get me in his arms again? Am I really safe with all these denials,
suppressed memories and repressed feelings? Tell me, doctor, I am not safe with
myself anymore.

Like Romeo and Juliet, our love was forbidden not because our families have a
feud but because I’m a student and you’re an admired teacher.
Days and nights passed by and as we interact continuously my feelings were
going deeper and deeper that it can be denied. It was a sunny morning, the sun was
smiling brightly as I also felt happy and jolly. That day was special. That day is the
time when I decided to confess my hidden feelings for you less assurance that you
will love me too.
As those three-word eight-letter phrases came out to my mouth, nervousness
crept into my body. Shivers were sent down to my spine and then there’s me standing
in front of you, frozen wishing that the ground would swallow me.
What’s more shocking is when you finally spoke up and also utter those words,
“I… Love… You.”