VERBAL SELF DEFENSE 101:

How to Crush the Most Common Verbal Attacks and Insults

by Min Liu

http://www.artofverbalwar.com

© 2017 Art of Verbal War. All Rights Reserved.

 TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter 1: Introduction

Welcome
My Backstory
Kids Being Kids
Socially-Based Verbal Attacks/Insults
The Realization

Chapter 2: The Ten Most Common Verbal Attacks and Insults and How
to Crush Them Easily

Chapter 3: Non-Verbal Communication

Chapter 4: Social Intelligence - Proportionality

Chapter 5: Now Forget What You Just Learned

Chapter 6: Conclusion

Conclusion
Special Bonus Announcement: How To Crush The Next Ten Most Common
Verbal Attacks and Insults
About Min Liu
Also By Min Liu
 CHAPTER ONE
Introduction

Welcome! You made an excellent and potentially life-changing decision to

purchase Verbal Self Defense 101, an introduction to the art and science of
verbal self-defense.

A little bit about myself:

I’m the author of the online courses The Verbal Self-Defense for the
Socially Intelligent System, a course on defending yourself from verbal
bullying, attacks, and insults with wit and social intelligence, and Verbal
Domination, a course on dominating and winning verbal confrontations.

I’m dating myself, but do you remember the movie “The Karate Kid”? Mr.
Miyagi was sternly against using karate to attack another person first and he
would only allow Daniel-san to fight in self-defense.

But Sensei Kreese, who was Daniel-san and Mr. Miyagi’s nemesis, was all
about “The Way of the Fist”. “Attack first! Strike hard!”, he would yell during
karate practice. Well, think of Verbal Self-Defense for the Socially Intelligent
as Mr. Miyagi and Verbal Domination course as Sensei Kreese.

Anyhow, this book is about the Mr. Miyagi school of thought, which is
verbal self-defense. There is a time and place where attacking someone else
verbally may be called for, but in this book, my sole focus will be on teaching
you how to skillfully defend yourself from verbal attacks and insults, and not
only that, but to do so with social intelligence and wit.

You probably found this book because at some point in your life, maybe
even recently, you were verbally bullied, attacked, or insulted, and didn’t
know how to handle it, and you don’t ever want that to happen again. Trust me,
I’ve been there many times before myself, and I am honored to be your guide as
you learn how to master this very important skill.

While this book is not a comprehensive course in verbal self-defense, I

promise you that in the short time it will take you to read this book (probably
no more than 15-30 minutes), you will be able to skillfully defend yourself
from the most common verbal attacks and insults.

Let’s get started!

To winning,
Min Liu

———————————————

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———————————————
 My Backstory

I’d like to start by sharing a bit of my backstory, the part that relates to why
I felt compelled to write this book and share the hard lessons I’ve learned in
my life.

From the time I started school as a young boy at age 5 through high school,
because of my non-Western name (Min), my geekiness at the time, and because
I stuck out like a sore thumb, I was subjected to frequent verbal bullying,
attacks and insults. I grew up in a town where I was one of the very few Asian
Americans kids in town. We’re talking about less than ten in a town of about
20,000 people, and it was a different time and place than now.

My hometown was a predominantly white, middle to upper-middle class

neighborhood in the San Francisco Bay Area, and while there were a lot of
decent and kind people who lived there, the douchebaggery was particularly
strong in some of the kids I went to school with.

Those kids (mostly classmates who by junior year in high school were
driving BMWs that mommy and daddy bought but destined for a life flipping
burgers) used all of their underdeveloped brain cells to give me unflattering
nicknames and make derogatory racial slurs.

Most of the time, I stayed quiet and passive and internalized my hurt
because I didn’t know how to deal with their verbal bullying, and I didn’t have
the confidence to stand up for myself.
 Kids Being Kids

Except for one afternoon when I was 16.

That afternoon, I was practicing tennis with my buddy Jack (one of the only
other Asian American kids in town), and a group of high school guys sped by
in a convertible German car (yep, a BMW) and yelled out “Chinks! Go back to
China!”, the irony being that both of us were born in the U.S.

This group of guys parked their car just down the street from the tennis
courts where we were playing at. So, when they were out of sight, Jack and I
ran over to their BMW, and Jack brought out a pocket knife he had in his tennis
bag; who knows why he had a knife in his bag. We took turns slashing all four
of the tires on the BMW with Jack’s knife. It was harder work than we thought
with Jack’s faux Swiss Army knife! But after struggling with the tires for some
time, we finished the job and drove home, laughing the entire time and thinking
how cool it was what we did to those guys.

I clearly had no skill in responding to verbal attacks and insults back then,
but what I had even less of was judgment! Turns out those guys knew Jack (and
Jack ratted me out in no time whatsoever), so later that evening, my parents got
a call from the local police department. Luckily, the police decided not to
make a record of the incident, but we had to, quite unhappily I should say,
compensate the driver for the slashed tires. I can’t even remember how many
extra chores I had to do over the next few months to pay back my folks!

When looking back at that silly incident and all the things I went through in
my childhood, I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who was subjected to constant
verbal bullying and attacks. I’m sure many others in my town also got the same
treatment, but most likely in a different way. My tormenters (who have now
grown up and are hopefully different) were mostly just kids being kids, and so
when I look back at it, I laugh about it more than anything.

These days, I don’t see Jack often because he lives out of the country, but
when we see each other every once in a long while, we both reminisce about
that day and have a good laugh about it.
 Socially-Based Verbal Attacks/Insults

Ultimately, racial slurs and stupid nicknames hurled by similarly stupid

kids I didn’t know (or barely even knew) are so inane, they aren’t actually the
types of verbal attacks/insults that can really sting.

However, there is a type of verbal attack/insult that is in a way much more

insidious and potentially much more hurtful. By this, I mean those verbal
attacks or insults that come up regularly within social contexts.

In social contexts, verbal attacks/insults are usually less aggressive, less

blatant, and less downright insulting. However, they usually have much more
impact than verbal attacks or insults from random people. You can ignore kids
being kids or strangers, but you cannot ignore the people closest to you, such as
your friends, family, family friends, work, business, and professional
colleagues.

With these people, you will face all types of subtler verbal attacks and
insults. These attacks are less in your face, but over time they can create self-
doubt and undermine your self-confidence if you are unable to skillfully defend
yourself and stay confident in the face of such attacks and insults. In addition, if
you are unable to defend yourself skillfully and in a socially intelligent manner,
you can erode important relationships in your life.

These are the types of verbal attacks and insults that this book seeks
to address and to train you to be skillful with.
 The Realization

After graduating from college, I went to law school and became a

corporate lawyer. During law school and during my career in the law, I have
met and interacted with many downright smart and nasty people, all who have
helped me (in a somewhat perverse way) develop a thicker skin and develop
the material in this book and for my courses.

In my life, I have also met many well-meaning people, and every type of
person in between, who have also contributed plenty to the material in this
book and for my courses. And through it all, one thing I’ve learned is for
certain:

Life is full of conflict between people, even friends, family, and loved
ones. These conflicts may not be large in scale (although they can be) but
people will always test and provoke you in various ways, and they do it
verbally.

They usually do this to see what you’re made out of, to see if you will
stand up for yourself, and also to see how well you can stand up for
yourself. It is human instinct to push people’s buttons and boundaries.
Sometimes, they may do it maliciously and sometimes, people do it because
they’re bored or have nothing else better to say.

The reasons why people do this are varied, but one thing is clear, you
must develop ways to defend yourself from socially-based verbal attacks
and insults, and you must do it skillfully and in a socially appropriate
manner.

I am sure that you found this book and are reading it now because you have
had (or still have) challenges similar to those I have faced in my life. I salute
you for finding this book and most of all, for taking concrete ACTION to
improve your verbal and social skills.

Because of my background, writing this book and developing my courses

The Verbal Self-Defense for the Socially Intelligent System and Verbal
Domination has been a labor of love for me. I actually thank all the people
who have tested me often in my life because without them, I would most likely
not have written this book or developed a thick skin, and I certainly would not
have had the material to do it.

During my youth, there were no resources like this available to me. I was
young and clueless, and as a child of immigrants, I didn’t have anybody in my
life to teach me how to skillfully deal with these attacks and insults, nor
someone to help me build the mental strength and confidence I needed to
effectively deal with these challenges. I wish I had the type of guidance I am
about to provide you with, so I thank you for this opportunity.

I sincerely hope my labor of love will help you crush the challenges you
face in your life.

(DON’T FORGET TO DOWNLOAD your SPECIAL BONUS “How

to Crush The Next Ten Most Common Verbal Attacks and Insults” at
www.artofverbalwar.com/vsd101bonus)
 CHAPTER TWO
The Top 10 Most Common Verbal Attacks and Insults And How
To Crush Them Easily

Now, enough about me, let’s get on to what matters to YOU.

This chapter lists what, in my experience and in surveying some of my good

friends, are the ten most common types of verbal attacks and insults. It’s
amazing how uncreative most people are, isn’t it?

The good thing about this fact of life, is that it allows us to prepare for
people’s old, predictable tricks.

For each type of verbal attack or insult, I’m going to give you what I think
is the best way to respond, and at least one alternate way to respond. I couldn’t
help myself when I was writing this, so some verbal attack patterns will have
more than one alternate response; some have up to five.

Some responses will feel more natural to you than others, so I urge you to
try each of them out and decide which of them work best for you.

Once you have decided which response you like for each type of verbal
attack or insult, just memorize that response and start using it in your daily life.
Now that you will have developed some awareness of verbal attacks and
insults, you’ll be amazed at how often they actually occur, and you will be
even more amazed at how easily you can swat back these attacks with the
correct “ammunition”. Over time, you may find that others around you may not
be as emboldened to attack or test you. Just when it was getting fun!

One last note: Remember a lot of these attacks/insults may be actually said
in words that are not the exact words I wrote, but with similar words and
meaning, so you need to pick up on the meaning/general pattern, and choose the
appropriate responses.

Here we go, here are the world’s ten most common verbal attacks and
insults, and more importantly, all the ways you can crush them with ease:

(DON’T FORGET TO DOWNLOAD your SPECIAL BONUS “How

to Crush The Next Ten Most Common Verbal Attacks and Insults” at
www.artofverbalwar.com/vsd101bonus)
 1. “You’re X” / “You’re so X” / “You’re a X” / “That’s so X”

In my opinion, this is the most common verbal attack pattern in the history
of mankind. In this attack pattern, “X” could be almost any noun or adjective,
such as loser, hack, idiot, crazy, bitch, ugly, weird, moron, etc.

Example: “You’re a loser.”

Best Way to Respond: “You would know all about that from your years of
staring into the mirror.”

NOTE: There are some times when this response does not work. Such as
when it is not plausible that the other person is also what he/she said you are.
For example, if he/she calls you old and he/she is quite young, then this
response does not work, so here is another way you can respond to this type of
verbal attack.

Alternate Way to Respond: “Yes I am, and you’re ugly (or any other
adjective or noun).”

With this alternate response, you don’t even bother to refute what the other
person says about you. By refusing to refute the other person, you demonstrate
confidence and strong self-confidence. One of the principles of verbal self-
defense is to never be defensive, and by agreeing with what the other person
says, it completely takes the wind out of his/her sails.

Keep in mind that the alternate response is a little nastier than the best way
to respond and is also a little tougher to implement, but you respond by
choosing another adjective or noun to fire back with.

(DOWNLOAD your SPECIAL BONUS “How to Crush The Next Ten

Most Common Verbal Attacks and Insults” at
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 2. “Why do you do X?” / “Why are you doing X?”

Example: “Why do you always eat like an animal?”

Best Way to Respond: “And why do you like to run your mouth off?” Or,
“And why do you always have an opinion that nobody asked for?”

When you use this response, you want to do it a joking manner. Don’t be
too serious when you respond. This response makes use of “parallelism”,
which is a technique taught in my verbal self defense course as a very effective
tactic to respond with.

“Parallelism” means using the same structure or some appropriate piece of

what the other person said. In this case, the attack is in the form of a question,
so you just go back in the form of another question.

Alternate Way to Respond: “I’m just warming up, just you wait. You better
get used to it.”

With the alternate response, your response is based on you not being
defensive. You make it seem as if what you’re doing is completely natural.
And, when you show that you are confident about what you are doing, it will
be difficult for the other person to say anything.
 3. “Nice X”

In this attack pattern, X is usually a part of your body or some piece of

clothing on your body, with the word “Nice” being said sarcastically. The
suggested responses below have a bit of a rougher edge to them, but in my
opinion, anybody who would make fun of any part of your body or your clothes
deserves at least as harsh of a response.

Example: “Nice zit.”

Best Way to Respond: Say “Oh, do you mean this?” while pointing at the zit
with your middle finger.

Alternate Way to Respond: Point to your leg with your index finger
“Here?”, then to your head with your ring finger “Here?”, then point to the zit
with your middle finger extended while saying “Oh you mean here.” (I actually
like this one the most, but it takes more confidence to pull this one off)

Now, if you don’t want to be as edgy, here’s yet another alternate response
for you to try:

Another Alternate Way to Respond: “Thanks, but its really not as nice as
your skin tight jeans and overflowing muffin top.”

You can use any part of the other person’s body or some piece of clothing
on their body that is a little (or a lot) off.

Note: I should mention that before you respond to this attack, you need to
make sure that this original attack is actually said sarcastically by the other
person. If not, then the other person may actually be paying you a genuine
compliment and it should go without saying that in such a case, responding in
this fashion is not called for.
 4. “X called, they want their Y back” / “X called, he/she wants his Y
back”

In this attack pattern, “X” could be a person, thing, time period, or any noun
(as long as it is well known) and “Y” is usually a negative trait of yours. This
is a very common (and completely played out) insult but sadly, people are just
not very creative.

I heard a bunch of people using it last month when I was out in the East
Coast. I guess it’s an East Coast thing. Again, responding to this attack pattern
calls for a “parallelism”, one of the most important techniques taught in my
course Verbal Domination.

Example: “Adrian Brody called, he wants his look back.” (implying you
are ugly)

Best Way to Respond: “And, John Belushi called, he wants this joke back.”
(implying this joke is beating a dead horse because John Belushi is actually
dead and passed away many years ago). Or, if you don’t think the other person
knows who John Belushi is: “And, the dinosaurs called, they want this joke
back.”

Alternate Way to Respond: “Hey, if you’re gonna be a smartass, you

actually have to be smart. Otherwise, you’re just an ass.”

The alternate response is a little nastier but also slightly easier to pull off
because it merely requires memorization, so use your discretion.
 5. “Why do you like X?” / “I don’t like X.”

This is a common attack/insult used by people who are very opinionated.

We all have a few of those people in our lives, and they sure can get annoying.
Most of the time, these people probably don’t even mean to attack you
personally, but they just can’t help themselves with their unwanted opinions.
It’s like they validate themselves by offering unwanted opinions.

Of course, we need to let people express their opinions. So, respond this
way only if the opinions get out of hand or it feels like you are being targeted
specifically.

Example: “Why do you like that restaurant? I totally can’t stand that place.”

Best Way to Respond: “And why do you like being so opinionated?”

Again, this response uses parallelism, the technique we discussed in a few

other places in this book.

Alternate Way to Respond: “Um okay. Its a little hilarious that people
always have something to say, but don’t actually have anything meaningful to
contribute.”

Another Alternate Way to Respond: “You’re entitled to your opinion…oh

wait…I meant…INCORRECT opinion.”

This alternate response is a little more provocative because you are taking
on the other person’s opinion straight on which is generally unwise, so be
careful with this response unless you truly have a counter-opinion.

Another Alternate Way to Respond: “Remember that time when you

actually had nothing to say? Me neither.”

Yet Another Alternate Way to Respond: “That’s great you don’t like that
restaurant. Thanks for the unwanted/unsolicited opinion.”
 Last Way to Respond (used if you don’t know the other person well): “If I
knew who you were, that might mean something.”
 6. “What?! You don’t know X?” / “How can you not know X?”

This is something a know-it-all would say.

We all have a few of these people in our lives too. Just like an opinionated
person, this type of person may even be well-meaning, but can’t help
himself/herself. People like this love to think of themselves as the arbiter of all
knowledge and everybody else (including you) is just plain ignorant and/or out
of the loop.

Example: “How can you not know Donald Trump’s stance on immigration?
And you call yourself an educated voter?”

Best Way to Respond: “Let me ask you this. Since you know everything, did
you know you’re kind of annoying?”

Alternate Way to Respond: “Its strange. Since you seem to know it all, I
don’t understand why you don’t know when to be quiet.”

Another Alternate Way to Respond: “Yeah, that’s because I don’t spend my

free time surfing crappy Internet sites on politics / reading Trivial Pursuit
cards / [insert any lame, time wasting thing].”
 7. “Shut up!” / Any Swear Word

This type of verbal attack/insult needs to be (and can be) responded to with
using more aggression than most of the other attacks/insults in the book.
Anybody coming at you with this type of attack/insult is not looking to maintain
a relationship with you, so your best response is just to shut him/her down
completely.

Best Way to Respond: “Have a nice day…somewhere else.”

Alternate Way to Respond: “You know, I was going to give you a nasty look
for that, but I see you already have one.”

Another Alternate Way to Respond: “I was going to insult you back, but it
looks like nature already did.”

Last Way to Respond: “And there you go again. Now I know why free
speech is a problem.”
 8. Nicknames/Play on Words

When I was younger, a lot of my peers would make fun of me by giving me

unflattering nicknames. Their nicknames were never that creative, so in my
opinion, the most appropriate response to this type of attack/insult is to attack
their lack of creativity with some sarcasm.

Best Way to Respond: “Wow, your mind is so open. So open that intelligent
thought just passes right through it.”

Alternate Way to Respond: “Wow, that really creative. You’re only the 9th
person that’s said that today.”

Another Alternate Way to Respond: “Hey you know what’s funny? Not
you!”

Last Way to Respond: “You get an A for trying too hard and a F for
creativity.”
 9. “What’s wrong with you?”

There is no good way to directly respond to this type of negativity, so your

best bet is to make an indirect response to throw the other person off balance.
“Indirectness” is a key ingredient to skillful verbal self-defense and even going
on the offensive.

Best Way to Respond: “I’m not sure, but my psychotherapist is really happy
about the money he/she makes from me every month.”

Alternate Way to Respond: “A lot. How much time do you have? If you
have an hour or two, I’ll tell you.”

Here’s another method to respond, utilizing the very useful technique of

parallelism.

Another Alternate Way to Respond: “I don’t know, but it’s absolutely

wrong that I need to be around you.”
 10. Mocking Voice / Sounds

When someone uses a mocking voice or sounds in an attempt to clown you,

such as mocking the way you said something (like stuttering), this is how you
should respond.

Example: “Uh uh uh…” (with a mocking tone)

Best Way to Respond: “Are you choking on something? Do you need the
Heimlich maneuver? I can help you, but let me go fetch a ten-foot pole first to
use on you.”

Alternate Way: “Wow, that’s some incredibly poor beatboxing. You need to
work on it some more before you ever do that again in public.”

Last Way to Response: “Nice sounds, but the look on your face when you
did that was absolutely comical.”

(DOWNLOAD your SPECIAL BONUS “How to Crush The Next Ten

Most Common Verbal Attacks and Insults” at
www.artofverbalwar.com/vsd101bonus)
 CHAPTER THREE
Non-Verbal Communication

Now, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention non-verbal communications

along with all of the verbal responses I just gave you. While the responses here
are very effective in crushing the most common verbal attacks/insults, they
must be delivered in an appropriate manner or else they will fall short.

By “appropriate manner”, I mean a confident, non-reaction seeking, and

almost dismissive manner. Depending on the circumstances, a completely
dismissive manner might even be appropriate.

Non-verbal communications, i.e. your tone of voice, body language, eye

contact, confidence cues, and other non-verbal elements also convey
information to the other person separately from the CONTENT (the words) of
any communication.

Think of CONTENT and NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION as two

different channels of communications, each just as important as the other.

Chapter 2 was about CONTENT. This Chapter 3 is about the other just as
important channel, NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATIONS.

The non-verbal communications you give off when you are defending
yourself from verbal attacks need to give off the confident, non-reaction
seeking, and almost dismissive vibe that I talked about above. If you don’t give
off that vibe through your non-verbal communications, nothing you say will be
very effective.

In some way, non-verbal communications are so important that you could

even respond with complete gibberish, but if you response with confident body
language and tone, it doesn’t even matter much what you say, so if you have to,
practice saying these lines looking at yourself in the mirror. I’m not even joking
about that. You may think that looks stupid, but I don’t want you to see it that
way. Observing how you look and adjusting it to look more confident while
you say these things will make all the difference.

It’s a bit ironic because the tactics in this book will help give you more
confidence in social interactions, but without confidence it and of itself, using
these tactics will not be very effective. Its almost like a feedback loop. You
need the tactics to be confident, but you also need to be confident to use the
tactics. This CONFIDENT vibe is essential and it must be developed if you
don’t already have it. The good thing is I believe strongly that confidence is a
muscle that can be trained.

How you develop this attitude is beyond the scope of this book, but you can
learn about this in further depth in my course, The Verbal Self Defense For The
Socially Intelligent System.

(DOWNLOAD your SPECIAL BONUS “How to Crush The Next Ten

Most Common Verbal Attacks and Insults” at
www.artofverbalwar.com/vsd101bonus)
 CHAPTER FOUR
Social Intelligence: Proportionality

Okay, I admit I may have had a little too much fun with some of the
responses in the previous chapter, but I did that on purpose.

Some of the responses could be construed as a little too edgy for some
situations, especially social situations, which brings me to the point of this
Chapter 3.

In The Verbal Self Defense For The Socially Intelligent System, I talk about
the concept of “proportionality”. Keep in mind that in general, especially in
social contexts and definitely in business contexts, you need to respond back to
any verbal attack or insult with proportionality. There are exceptions where
you may want to respond disproportionately, but proportionality is the general
rule.

“Proportionality” means not responding back with more aggression

than the amount of aggression originally received. If you respond
disproportionately to an attack or insult, you will risk damaging the
relationship between you and the other person, or at the very least, you may be
perceived as socially inept.

Of course, if you do not know the other person, then these risks are
obviously low. You may not care whether you damage the relationship or not in
such a case. But even then, please always keep in mind your safety, your
reputation, and other relevant factors in deciding how you want to respond.

The point is: In any given situation, ALWAYS keep the concept of
“proportionality” in mind and calibrate your response accordingly.
 CHAPTER FIVE
Now Forget What You Just Learned

Now Forget What You Just Learned

“You’re gross, fat, and nobody will ever like you.”

Fifteen year old Jason Dearborn received this message on Facebook from a
sender he did not recognize. After looking at the profile of the sender, there
was no information on who the sender was.

Jason was immediately upset and hurt. He spent the next week moping and
depressed, and his parents saw it on his face. They asked him repeatedly what
was wrong and he finally told them he had received this nasty Facebook
message.

Upon hearing about this story, Mr. and Mrs. Dearborn were outraged and
contacted the principal and Jason’s school. As schools usually do, they took
immediate action to investigate who at the school may have sent the message to
Jason.

After a period of a few weeks, the school was unable to identify who the
sender was. During this time, Jason’s self-esteem and self-image plummeted
for the worse, and his parents started taking him for therapy.

What the Dearborns did not know was that another classmate, sixteen year
old Jennifer Ross, had also received the exact same message. Jennifer thought
the message was hilarious, chuckled, replied to the message gleefully, and then
deleted it.

And, what did Jennifer Ross write in her reply?

 “And you’re a Neanderthal. I’m surprised you even used proper
punctuation.”

Months after this incident, the school was finally able to determine that
almost every single student in the school who had Facebook accounts received
this exact same message. They were never able to ascertain who wrote the
offending message.

The message was never meant for any particular student. It was just a
stupid prank aimed at the entire class.

I believe there is a very important lesson to take from this incident from
those of us who suffer from verbal attacks and insults.

The lesson is that how you react to verbal attack and insults is a matter of
perspective, and a matter of self-confidence and self-image.

One person can completely lose their self-esteem and self-image with mere
words, while another person can find those mere words absolutely amusing.

When you have adequate self-confidence and self-image, verbal attacks and
insults cannot hurt or bother you. It is vitally important to build your self-
confidence and self-image to a point where you need none of these tactics or
comebacks.

You want to get to a point where the worst insults can be hurled at you, but
they bounce off of you like bullets bounce off of Superman’s chest. Don’t take
any verbal attack or insult too seriously and try your best to have an amused
attitude towards verbal attacks and insults.

It is almost shocking to me to see how people respond to true indifference

when they verbally attack you. They are so used to seeing others get defensive
or hurt when they hurl verbal attacks and insults.

Just a few weeks before I wrote this, I was at a get-together with some
friends. Somebody asked the question “What is a talent you have that nobody
knows about?” to every person at the table.

A few people in front of me spilled the beans. I didn’t feel like answering a
question that was forced on me, so I declined to answer when it got around to
me.

Then, somebody yelled out “You’re being unfair!”

And, I responded in an amused manner (of course): “That’s right, and I’m
completely fine with it being unfair.”

People at the table were completely shocked I said that, and then they
laughed hysterically.

Indifference is the key to effective verbal self defense. When you are
indifferent to verbal attacks and insults, nobody can mess with you. There is no
magic pill to becoming indifferent, but before I close this chapter, let me share
with you one tip which comes from ancient historical wisdom.

So, while you have learned many new ways to deal with verbal attacks and
insults, I want you at the same time to forget about what you just learned.
Maybe sometimes, and most of the time, you don’t need to respond to any
verbal attack or insult. You just need to learn how to let them bounce right off
of you. This mindset is so very key. When you have this bulletproof mindset,
you will find that paradoxically, this stuff will come easier to you.

The following quote is from the Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, one of
the fathers of the stoic school of thought:

“Begin each day by telling yourself: Today I shall be meeting with

interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness – all
of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil. But for my
part I have long perceived the nature of good and its nobility, the nature of
evil and its meanness, and also the nature of the culprit himself, who is my
brother (not in the physical sense, but as a fellow creature similarly
endowed with reason and a share of the divine); therefore none of those
things can injure me, for nobody can implicate me in what is degrading.”

Think about it: If even an Emperor of the Roman Empire had to deal with
verbal attacks and insults on a daily basis, don’t think anybody, including
yourself, is exempt. If it is the case that we cannot really make verbal attacks
and insults stop, then instead, we should change our perspective about verbal
attacks and insults and what they mean to us.

You don’t have to tell yourself these exact words, but I think what he was
trying to say is that begin your day by preparing yourself for the worst,
especially the worst of people.

Instead of taking them seriously, change your perspective to one of

amusement to verbal attacks and insults, and change your perspective about
yourself from somebody who is mentally weak to one who is mentally strong.

The author, Vishen Lakhiani, coined the phrase for this optimal state of
mind: Unfuckwithable.

Be unfuckwithable.
 CHAPTER SIX
Conclusion

Well, here we are at the end of Verbal Self Defense 101.

I hope you learned a lot of new “tricks” you can use in your day to day
interactions with other people. I can’t wait to hear about the surprise on other
people’s faces when you hit them back with the things you learned in this book.

Honestly, I believe there is so much value in this short book that you could
memorize these responses and get quite far in life crushing virtually every
verbal attack or insult that comes your way.

I know I just said we’re at the end, but its not really the end.

As a gift to you for reading this book, I have a SPECIAL BONUS for you!

Go to www.artofverbalwar.com/vsd101bonus, enter your e-mail

address, and I will send you a PDF going over the NEXT TEN most
common verbal attacks and insults, and of course, how to CRUSH those
other very common verbal attacks and insults.

NEXT STEPS

———————————————

DOWNLOAD your SPECIAL BONUS “How to Crush The Next Ten

Most Common Verbal Attacks and Insults” at
www.artofverbalwar.com/vsd101bonus

SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel, The Art of Verbal War, where

people learn to EXCEL at verbal skills at www.youtube.com/artofverbalwar
CONNECT with me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/artofverbalwar
or on Twitter at www.twitter.com/artofverbalwar

READ MORE about verbal skills, power, persuasion, and influence at my

blog at www.artofverbalwar.com/blog

CHECK OUT my other books at www.artofverbalwar.com/books

SEND ME A MESSAGE at info@artofverbalwar.com

———————————————
 ABOUT MIN LIU

Min Liu is a corporate lawyer, Amazon #1 bestselling author, and the

founder of The Art of Verbal War, where people learn to EXCEL in verbal
skills.

Based in San Francisco, CA, Min's burning ambition is to teach like-

minded people how to give their gifts and value to the world by helping them
become EXCEPTIONAL in verbal skills, persuasion, influence and power.

In the words of his readers, he's the "older brother you've never had", and
as a real-life big brother himself, his mission is to show you the ropes in all
the things school never taught you.

He's especially aroused by basketball, meditation, reading books on

psychology and inspirational people, people who are value givers, and most of
all, constantly breaking out of his comfort zone and helping others break out of
theirs. On the other hand, he despises value suckers, mediocre mindsets, and
most of all, wearing sweaters.

Media, speaking, one-to-one coaching requests, or other inquiries can be

sent to info@artofverbalwar.com.
 ALSO BY MIN LIU

BOOKS

PEOPLE GAMES AT WORK

The definitive guide to dealing with workplace bullying and power games
at work

THE KING’S MINDSET: TWENTY MINDSETS TO TRANSFORM

ORDINARY MEN INTO KINGS
The ambitious man’s “roadmap” to extraordinary success in life

THE NEW ART OF BEING RIGHT: 38 WAYS TO WIN AN

ARGUMENT IN TODAY’S WORLD
A reimagined version of Arthur Schopenhauer’s “Art of Being Right”, a
playbook of strategies and tactics to help you win arguments and debates in
today’s complicated society

VOCAL SUPERSTAR: HOW TO DEVELOP A HIGH STATUS

VOICE
Learn ten steps to develop a high status voice that will increase your
influence and authority

PEOPLE GAMES: THE TEN MOST COMMON POWER PLAYS

AND MIND GAMES THAT PEOPLE PLAY
Learn how to defend yourself from mind games and power plays

THE HIGH VALUE MAN: PRINCIPLES OF POSITIVE

MASCULINITY
Learn how to become a “man in demand”

To learn more about the books and other books:

www.artofverbalwar.com/books

COURSES
 VERBAL SELF DEFENSE FOR THE SOCIALLY INTELLIGENT
An online course about defending yourself from verbal bullying, attacks,
and insults with wit and social intelligence

VERBAL DOMINATION
An online course about dominating and winning verbal confrontations

THE HARVEY SPECTER GUIDE

An online course about how to win big in life and business, inspired by the
main character of the TV show “Suits”

THE HANK MOODY GUIDE TO WIT

An online course about how to ignite your wit and charm, inspired by the
most charming man on TV, Hank Moody of “Californication”

MASTER OF METAPHOR
An online course about mastering the verbal superpower of figurative
speech

To learn more about these courses and other courses:

www.artofverbalwar.com/courses

(DON’T FORGET TO DOWNLOAD your SPECIAL BONUS “How

to Crush The Next Ten Most Common Verbal Attacks and Insults” at
www.artofverbalwar.com/vsd101bonus)

****************************