Reflection Paper

What do I want to come out of this interaction? How do I reach that goal with my
communication? What are all the possible reaction to what I plan to say, not just the desired
reaction that I want from the other person? What did s/he mean just now when s/he said that?
What else could it mean? Why would they say it- what’s their motivation, their potential gain,
big or small, for saying it?
When we take time to really think things through, especially prepping for important situations
or dealing with important relationships, we should handle all those time with careful purpose.
But instead we tend to go in and shoot from the hip, then wonder why things turned out badly.
“I never thought she would take it like that!” Exactly, because you didn’t think in advance at all.
Blindsided by not considering all the possible response and preparing for each fail.
Our brains can move much quicker than our mouths; we have plenty of time to think of the
answers to the above questions and more, even while right in the situation. And even if there is
a brief pause while thinking, it’s hardly noticed by the other person, who has their own
thoughts swirling around their head.
Purposive communication would be to pause a beat, think about what just happened, and
consider carefully the impact of your words on the person vis a vis your goal. It’s not always
easy in the heat of strong emotion but it is worthwhile, especially when role modeling behavior
to children.
By making communication purposive, which is to stop using language habitually, you will find
you have much better results communicating. Think purposively before speaking. The most
important question to ask yourself is: What’s the goal of this specific communication? And
then: Why? What will successful communication here achieve?