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Table of Contents
Chapter 8: Let’s Do It 59
6 The Good in Bed Guide to Sex and The Baby Years
In Conclusion 106
The Good in Bed Guide to Sex and The Baby Years 7
But there’s one thing that no one will talk about: your
sex life. They won’t tell you how it will change, or why
you should cling to it as passionately and preciously as
you’ll cling to that new bundle of life with the big eyes
and winning smile.
Erectile dysfunction
Premature ejaculation
Delayed ejaculation
*She can press her fingers against the area behind the
base of the scrotum, which will stimulate the pros-
tate gland and speed orgasm.
Trouble climaxing
In Sum
Your sex life needn’t take a breather for the next nine
months. In fact, the milestone of baby-making can be
a fun call to action to increase intimacy and sexual
connectedness.
What’s He Feeling?
Myth #1: Sex will hurt the baby. This is probably the
biggest fear that couples have about making love dur-
ing pregnancy. Specifically, men worry that they might
hit the baby in the head with their penis. As I’ll discuss
in Chapter 8, sex isn’t advisable in some situations—
particularly if you have a high-risk pregnancy—but
that doesn’t have anything to do with bumping the
baby.
the mood. And you may just feel too large to make love
during your last few months. If you’re just not inter-
ested, that’s okay. But if you are, the right positions,
lubrication, and other adjustments can help you enjoy
comfortable—even mind-blowing—sex throughout
your pregnancy.
First Trimester
Second Trimester
yyAt the same time, you will likely gain weight, which
may affect self-esteem.
Third Trimester
Chapter 8: Let’s Do It
Alternatives to Intercourse
to look for and how you can help her relax and enjoy
intimacy during these months.
In Sum
are happier and enjoy more sex than those whose men
don’t tackle such chores. So, guys: Help her cross some
of the less exciting stuff off of her to-do list, and you’ll
help move sex closer to the top.
have sex, the less you want it. The more you have it, the
more you want it. So get busy!
In Sum
You can see now why I urged you to enjoy sex during
conception and pregnancy—maintaining a healthy sex
life as new parents is easier said than done! Remember,
it took nine months to make a baby. It’s going to take
more than one night to re-make your sex life. Take
things slowly—baby steps, if you will—to help ease
anxiety and fear of pain with intercourse. And don’t
be afraid to think outside the box: You may need to be
bolder sexually, to go where you haven’t gone before.
Reclaiming your sex life is a process, but it will happen
naturally once you get things started.
True or false: Once you have kids, sex is the first thing to
go? If you answered “true,” you’re not alone. According
to a recent survey by the online magazine Baby Talk,
just 24 percent of parents say they’re satisfied with
their post-baby sex lives, compared to 66 percent who
were happy before they had children.
and this is just one more reason why. So, ladies, even
though it can be incredibly difficult to pull yourself
away from your new baby, it’s crucial that you still
connect with your man, too. And guys, I know you
may become more focused on protecting and guard-
ing your little one than on intimacy with your partner.
But look at it this way: Happy children generally have
happy parents. The best thing you can do for your
child is to be selfish. In this section, you’ll learn how
to do just that by redirecting some of that eros toward
each other.
You’ve finally set aside some time for sex—lips are kiss-
ing, hands are wandering, maybe you’re already having
intercourse. Suddenly, a scream rings out. Is it your
partner in the throes of ecstasy? You wish. It’s your
baby, wide awake and hungry, wet, poopy, or otherwise
in need of attention. Talk about putting a damper on
things. My patients often complain that their babies
just seem to have an inner radar that senses when
Mommy and Daddy are trying to get busy.
* Don’t give up. Put him back to sleep and then finish
what you started. And even when you’re putting baby
back to sleep, keep it going with sexy emails, maybe a
little Skype “silent movie” from your partner.
Relationship Pitfalls
Most couples fall into a sex rut every now and then,
especially once they’ve become parents. According to
CNN, some 41 million Americans are stuck in sex ruts.
Between dealing with work and kids, not to mention
life’s other stresses, it’s no wonder. But beware: a rut
can easily become a slump. In fact, one recent poll by
NBC Today found that 30 percent of people have gone
a few months without sex—and 22 percent have gone
a whole year. Talk about a dry spell!
But there are many reasons why you should have sex,
and not just because you think you should. Regular sex
rejuvenates you, relieves stress, boosts immunity, de-
creases depression, releases feel-good chemicals called
endorphins, and actually improves sleep. Of course,
once you’re in a rut, it can be tricky to get out.
The Good in Bed Guide to Sex and The Baby Years 105
Even better, just as less sex equals lower libido, more sex
can boost your libido. It’s a little like exercise: Sure it
seems like a lot of work, and it’s easy to not find time to
do it. But the more you do it, the better it feels. Simply
put, sex begets sex. Having sex once a week can raise
your testosterone levels, re-sexualize your relationship,
and help you reconnect with each other. Pretty soon,
you may find yourself discovering time you didn’t
know you had—and using that time for sex.
106 The Good in Bed Guide to Sex and The Baby Years
In Conclusion