WHO AM I?

The book WHO AM I? is entirely a self exploration and discovery. I wrote this
book to account for the true recognition of one self and I broke my theory into
three stages. I do not intend for it to persuade my readers to think otherwise of
their way of thinking, it’s purpose is to consider a different approach to self
discovery eroding self shame, pity and fear that you are of no significance.

NOTE :
THE STUDY OF THIS CONTENT ISN’T BASED ON ANY POSSESSION OF
KNOWLEDGE TO THE CASE AND I DO NOT PRETEND TO HAVE THE ANSWERS. I
TOO LIKE YOU, AM LOOKING FORWARD TO BE ANSWERED. SO YES THERE ARE
EXOTIC INFLUENCES ON MY THEORY OF KNOWING YOURSELF LEADING TO
KNOWING WHAT YOU ARE SEARCHING FOR.
FROM THE AUTHOR KEITH T. MAREKERA.

1. INFLUENCE.

Many of times do humans display themselves in a pseud manner. What

does this statement have to do with our discussion? Here is what it has to
do with it. Humans or any other leaving creature is comfortable in a familiar
surrounding. In such a surrounding we are the potters of whatever we do or
say, hence we control the outcome. But is being pseud knowing own self?
Certainly not.
Is the knowledge of your addiction, character or behaviour a base of
knowing yourself? Speaking for myself I disagree. Why? Because we can
overcome addiction through recovery i.e. the 12 steps of recovery.
Character is influenced by surroundings so is behaviour and these two one
can get rid of through therapies, for example and acquire a new character
and behaviour hence they cannot be a base for one to say I know myself
because they don’t bear authenticity, origin. People change.
 Pseud_ a person who pretends to know a lot about a particular subject in
order to impress other people.
Pseudo_ not genuine, false or pretended.

In the above paragraph I was tackling the idea of familiarization. I chose the
word pseud because of its university to explain three attributes, focusing on
familiarization and how it shapes existence and reality (pseud-familiar).
Observation has it or realistically speaking, whenever one is being a pseud
there is an energy of familiarization which fuels one’s behaviour and
character. Again, here am pointing out how character and behaviour
cannot be devices to be used to know one self. They are influenced as is
addiction. These are agents that acknowledged from appearances and how
you relate to your surroundings. They cannot whatsoever claim to know
you. Law is rational and these are the things they focus on, how you relate
in a society, hence I can’t submit that they amount to knowing yourself
because they are influenced. I trust I have made myself clear on
familiarization and influence.

2. RISK TO CIRCUMSTANCES

I have a best friend of mine. His one of my best friends and we do enjoy
having intellectual conversations together as we learn from each other
every time and I realized we have a lot in common considering our thought
processes.

In our senior year in high school, he asked me a very simple question. One
that many would say it accounts for one to say I know myself. The question
was...
"Would you sell your soul? "
Now this question here is simple yet not that simple. Are any of you virgins,
none fornicators, none alcoholics or smokers, straight sexually or believers?
etc. do you still hold the same principles as you did a month ago or three
years ago? Are you that same person now looking a month back or three
years back?
That kind of question yes is evidence enough to say I know myself and yet it
 does not attest to who you are being human because you have your desires
and goals. And sometimes we go out of our way, break our principles and
vows due to circumstances.
I replied, "No." (I won’t give my reason).
When I asked him the same question he said, "I don’t know."
I wasn’t surprised, I didn’t get confused or think anything bad against him
and I didn’t challenge his position.
Why? Like I said we have a lot in common, like him back then I do not trust
myself. Does this mean we are wrong? No it doesn’t, it means we
acknowledge the power of circumstances and how easily manipulated
humans can be.

Never settle on the ideology that I know myself through these kind of
questions or situations. Faith is blind, loyalty isn’t. This is why we have non
believers and believers. Most non believers were believers in the beginning
who prayed to God in a desperate moment or time of need and expected a
divine intervention which they did not get and from the disappointment,
loss or pain they settled on the belief that God isn’t real just because they
didn’t get what they asked for. They know less, it doesn’t work like that.
Our discussion is not religious, this was an example. Circumstantial realities
make us improvise, adapt and overcome in ways that are different
considering the situation. We may go out of our ways for the better or
worse, for the right reasons but wrong means and or sacrifice something or
someone for something or someone. This is in synch with the saying, “The
means justify the end.” Hence certainty cannot be an agent as well to
knowing yourself because for every issue or encounter, you have a different
reaction or response.

3. NON AUNTHENTIC-LACK OF ORIGIN.

I do not know how else to phrase what I want to talk about in this paragraph
so I’ll call it as I’ve always have, a soldier spirit. Now I do not mean spirit as
in supernatural but spirit as in vibe, motivation or mind-set. Soldiers as we
all know are robots. What I mean is they follow orders and instructions
 that’s how they live and that’s how they die. Free will is disobedience to
them, they do as they are told and only and only that. Just like a robot, they
follow command and protocol. They are such people in life who are like this.
They do what their parents ask them to do or tell them to do. Yes you might
be good at it but is it you? Because everything that’s going to result from
that is a programmed and monitored you. Everything you do going forward
is subliminally influenced, you inherit an attitude which develops as you go
on. You ask yourself how did I turn out to be them in a single package? It’s
because everything about you has been guided from the get go, you always
had your path pointed for you and your future built already in their liking.

Would you say you know yourself? I disagree, you don’t even know
whether or not you prefer cricket to soccer or vice versa. 8/10 these people
absolutely have no idea of what they are good at and yes they collapse
every time mommy or daddy’s volume reaches five yet maximum is fifteen.
You my friend, I do not hold my breath to say this, you do not know
yourself. That’s not the worst part, thing is you have no idea whatsoever.
You don’t know alcohol taste or the feeling of smoking not that I’m
encouraging it but you didn’t have the chance and choice to decide for
yourself hence in a question of accountability, you are unreliable.

Soldier spirited people can’t define nor depict oneself. Their character and
behaviour is influenced it is not of their own origin. They will always seek
approval in life and even in a situation whereby they are the head, they
don’t know what they really want or why they made such a decision.
Everything they do is based upon strategy. 

So if we remove addiction, character, behaviour (influence), certainty in one self

(risk to circumstances) and soldier spirit (non authentic, lack of origin) you must
have a knowledge of yourself.
Experiences are mirrored reflections of a possible reality which at times do
become reality. Knowing yourself is more than just giving a debrief of what you
do, like, dislike, expect, enjoy etc.
Having an intel about you is not knowing you, what we know is a drop and what
we do not know, is an ocean. I’m saying, that intel about you is what people think
of you and how they have branded you, this is true with celebrities and
government officials or any other highly placed person. Never mind about
knowing where you are going for what good is it when you do not know yourself.
Focusing on where you are going oblivious of yourself is similar to a stream, water
flowing following the patterns of the land.

So how do you get to know yourself and what you are searching for?
The question of knowing yourself and what you are searching for relates to the
one question humans ask everyday, from our ancestors to us and so will the
coming generations. Why are we here? I will not be addressing to this question
but to our original one.
This is my theory. Knowing yourself implies awareness to your role in life. What
you create and how it improves the lives of others in the world or your society
even family. Knowing yourself is knowledge of what you can do, what you are
capable of, what your existence depends on.
What you are searching for is conclusion of knowing yourself i.e. the
implementation of yourself in the world, society or family. This means bringing
effect from yourself, perpetuating the lives around you. The means of doing a
particular task, the where am I going to be reproductive.
I implore you write down the following explanation in simple terms and in your
own words so as to understand what I’m trying to say.
Let’s personify death. I’m going to refer to it as masculine in respect to the
horseman of death of the biblical four horsemen.
We all agree he came into existence through Cain,  yes? For God casted out angels
out of heaven, He did not kill them so Cain is the origin as our study of the good
book has it. Death itself is life’s contradiction, time is not of any effect to it as
every second someone somewhere is breathing their last or closing in to
breathing their last.

Does death know himself?

Carrier of weight out of endless superstitions, instrument of inevitability viewed
different relating belief systems from Buddhist, Muslims and Christians, a time
mocker of both beginning and end and the end of existence.
 Insight of death given by MILE, rapper from Mutare,Zimbabwe from the
song Dear Death by aGuiLa featuring Mile.
This is who death is.

What is he searching for?

To shorten life, to take lives, to erase you and I from existence.
This what he is searching for. His purpose.

Do I know myself?
 I’m a writer of music, poems, scripts and novels.
 A therapist and grief counsellor.
 Motivational speech writer.
 A listener.

What am I searching for?

 An audience :
 To assist people in their failing relationships, through their griefs or
troubling times.
 To motivate you through my work.
 To help you reach your potential and find yourself.
 To mend your fractured hearts and hopes of a better day.
  For you to listen to what I have to say concerning certain issues.
 To help you out of your depression, black hole and self loathe.
This is me, KEITH T. MAREKERA.
And I’m asking you, WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU SEARCHING FOR?

I TRUST YOU WILL FIND SOME ASSISTANCE IN MY THEORY OF KNOWING

YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU ARE SEARCHING FOR. DO NOT PONDER OVER HOW I
CHOSE TO EXPRESS MYSELF. RATHER PUT MY WORDS IN TERMS YOU CAN
UNDERSTAND YOURSELF AND FOR MORE INFO. YOU CAN FIND ME ON
FACEBOOK : AJ REI.
I BID YOU A FRUITFUL DISCOVERY.

 Parting words, quote from KING ALMARIAJIE (AJ REI)

We can’t look at the sun with bare eyes, so in order to do so we

wear sun glasses. Never let people improvise their influence on
you. _AJ REI_