‘ Whatever gets you through the night ...

’
– John Lennon –
The ability to tolerate and accept emotional primarily trying to avoid cues that cause
distress is a key skill for living. Pain and distress discomfort – attempts to shut out emotional pain
are part of life – they cannot be entirely avoided come back to haunt us. At times we might feel like
Tolerating Distress

or removed. Always trying to avoid pain leads to escaping from the moment with drugs or alcohol or
more problems than it solves. People with post- harming ourselves: it is then that we might need to
traumatic stress disorder or pathological grief are learn ways to cope with the pain and survive a crisis.

Distancing
Stay with the emotion – step back, notice the Be aware of thoughts, feelings and behaviour
intensity
Take a nap – pull covers over head for 20 minutes Go to a safe comfortable place – favourite chair
Go on holiday, take a trip Visit somewhere
Communicate
Describe your emotions – choose the words, Be creative – channel your feelings – paint, write,
write it down, write a letter play music
Speak to somebody – phone a trusted friend, visit Say a prayer
a friend
Distracting
Wash up, clean house Play a game – get involved in a hobby
Watch TV, listen to music, play a computer game Get active, go out, immerse yourself in a hobby
Do exercise, dance, go to the gym, swim, exhaust Read, do a puzzle, count to 10
yourself
Self-soothing
Touch – stroke your pet, have a bath, hug Vision – look at beautiful things – walk in the
somebody woods
Hearing – listen to music, listen to the birds sing Smell and taste – smell a flower, eat a good meal,
light a scented candle

Do a meditation or relaxation exercise Imagine a better time

Encourage yourself – write a list of positive affirmations

‘I can stand it – the more I tolerate it the ‘When I get through this I will be a better person’
stronger I get’
‘I am allowing myself to feel my feelings’ ‘I am a lovable person’
Make a list of pros and cons of tolerating distress Focus on the long term – the light at the end of
the tunnel
Identify your own survival strategy
List what you will do at times of crisis and intense
emotion

(Adapted from Lineham, 1993)

104 P This page may be photocopied for instructional use only. The Mental Health Handbook © T Powell 2009