Quote Book 2006-2007 School Year
“The quote book is basically the biggest inside joke ever.” –Cat
And So It Begins…
“Don’t tell mom we’re setting things on
fire, okay?” –M
“Does anyone want clammy cheese?” –M
“Yay! Poison!” –Anna
“Bitch Nazi Fucker!” –Cassy
“Altos, don’t listen to the second
sopranos, they’ll lead you astray.” –Mr.
Wilhelm
“I’d rather jump off a bridge and land on
a seal.” –Cat
“Yes, I run a cookie whoring business.” –
M “And then we dance with cookies and
“Kick him while he’s down and give him
the boot in the face.” –Mrs. Hicks
“How could you fall asleep during the
Lord of the Rings?!?!” –Maddie, Katie,
and Brian
“That doesn’t make sense to me, but
you’re very small. Perhaps you’re right.”
–Treebeard
“A half-step and a wiggle” –Mr. W
“A friend will bail you out of jail. A true
friend will be sitting next to you saying
‘damn that was fun’” –M
“Flappy! Your big ass is hiding my
wood!” –Potato
“Do you know that everyone thinks
you’re a jerk?”
“Wait, six-ish isn’t a time!” –M
“It was the French who screwed up our
pronunciation. The French! Those damn
bastards.” –Mr. Horan
♫ I got stolen memories ♫ -M
“Wood + Head = Bad” –Kacey
“Cameras are my spawn.” –Katie
“At least Japan has a culture. We’re just
like ‘Woo, Fries!’” –M
fairies and whee!” –Lina
“Smell my sexy man-dog” –Lina
“This is not Cat-tastic” – Cat
“This is not a bosco stick!” –M
“Maddie- I’d like bosco sticks, cookies,
and a Sprite
Lunchperson- No Sprite
M- Sprite
L- No Sprite
M- Yes, Sprite!”
“Would you like to put things into
boxes?”
“Do you enjoy building birdhouses?”
“Do you like counting money?”
“Do you want to ride a lawn mower?”
- Questions on the PLAN test
“A word [fuck] can’t die just because I’m
not there!” –Cassy
“Life is like an unfriendly box of
chocolates that tries to bite you when you
take a piece.” –Cat
“That’s like the pot calling the kettle
black. It says, ‘You’re just saying that
‘cause I’m black.’” –Mr. Horan
“White boy!” –Bernard
“Sticky crumbs!” –Cat
“What does fudgitive mean? Someone
get me a dictionary. Ohhh. It’s Fugitive.”
–Dad of Cat
“Never try to turn when there’s no place
to turn to.” –Cat
“I like your cheese fries.” Sarah W.
“My typemetron is broken.” –M
“Ohh…there are cats in my closet.” –M
“Hand guns, knives, and other weapons
are turning up in locker checks at our
junior high school.” –Comma correction
website thing
“It sounds like smoraphyll but begins
with a C” –Mrs. Baker
“Mr. Paige- You’ve lost the fifth calendar
I’ve given you?
Lina- Yes
Mr. P- You’re a tree killer, you know
that?
L- Yes, can I get a calendar now?
Mr. P- Yes, but the deaths of those trees
will haunt your conscience for eternity.”
“Ivan the terrible didn’t kill people- he
sort of helped them die.” –Mr. Wilbur
“When a dog sniffs something there are 3
things that go through its mind:
Can I eat this?
Can I kill this?
Can I mate with this?” –Mr. Horan
“I have to go find my pants.” –M
“Heavy metal makes me warm inside.” –
Brian
“I am not a coat rack.” –M
“I have your eternal soul.” –Brian
“Stabage!” –Lina
“Play with passion fruit!”
“If there are any 3rd clarinets, then the
violins may go, add bicycle, cool timpani
with small fan, if you are a 2nd clarinet
player, play the violin that was given to
you.”
-Concert Band Audition Music
“I’m not wearing pants, you fool!” –M
“Katie- Why are there two nuts on this
bolt?
Sara- Why are there two nuts on your
mom?”
“It’s shaped kind of trapezoidal” –M
“What’s wrong with these Altoids?
They’re nothing but pins! Those fucking
British!” – Alex, brother of Cat
Attempted Scrabble Words
Balmad, Pij, Podoo, Tcats, Jotethi, Rooo,
Seeee, uluvit, mopenguing, cum, cumand,
ghettoz, wyful
“M- One plus one…
Cat- That’s ELEVEN!”
“Watch them tear Gandalf to shreds!” –
Patrick, Brother of M
“Cat- You got 192
M- Yeah, but times that by 56 and I
totally beat you!”
“Sometimes it’s fun to end things in
commas.” –Cat
Scrabble Paragraph
(Used all the words from a game of
Scrabble)
Aaya and Finny’s child, Milto, cumands
the cat’s trivia wyful pods. Her ax balm
led the mopenguing rebels to the ghettoz
of suds. The rooks seeee them and rooo
the nitwit’s qaa. Their AP wit had UV OJ
the beeps with ET. Face.
“Let me clarify something for you, young
lady. The Bears aren’t football; They’re
LIFE!” –Matt, Boyfriend of Cat’s sister
“The postcard: the dry hump of
marketing schemes.” –Frisky Dingo
“Kevin- Hi, do you like Star Wars?
Bernard- Hell yes I like Star Wars!”
“Sexy broomstick ghost”
“Han Like Egg”
-M and Cat
“Motherfucking Nazi Whore” –Cassy
“obsessive compulsive penguins of
doom” –Lina
“Flappy, are you wearing a bra?” –
Chelsea
“My turtle ran away.” –Elise
“How do you draw marms?” –Cat
↑ mormons?
No!
“There is a head stuck in my song.” –
Jenny Kimball
Sporck (Lina spells it with a ‘ck’)
Brian- Our Spanish teacher sucks
Lina- Yes, she must be eliminated
Brian- We will kill her with a sporck
Lina- Isn’t that kind of soft and bendy?
Brian- Fine, so we’ll use a massive
titanium sporck and kill her
Lina- and then we’ll sacrifice her body to
the devil
Brian- and our souls so that the devil will
make Maddie a vampire
Both- Sweet!
(exchange hi-5’s)
Lina- Ow, your hi-5’s hurt”
“This is not a coke” –M
“Contiminated!” –Lina
“Lina! Stop hitting people with
sandwiches!” –Kacey
“There’s something suspicious in my
salad!” –M
“Snackage: its like stabbage, but
different” –Katie
“If Brian were in this school, my Brian-
radar would be going off.” –M
“Maddie and Brian sitting on a couch
M-A-K-E-O-U-T!” –Cat
“I can’t videotape things while
someone’s charging under my legs!” –
Bernard
“Your [Cat] boobs smell funny.” –Lina
“A nose by any other name would still
smell.” –Freshmen Play
“Where the flap is Flappy?” –Lina
“Even little nerdlings can find love; Why
can’t I?” –Cat
“You’re just the town bicycle aren’t you?
Everyone gets a ride.” Mike W.
Sugar Packet Quotes
“Name the place you want to go but
haven’t been [in bed]?”
“If you knew no fear, what would you do
[in bed]?”
“If you could be any animal, what would
you be [in bed]?”
“What wouldn’t you do for $10,000 that
you’d do for $1,000,000 [in bed]?”
“MMM *bites into breadstick* Fuck
YES!” –Flappy
“Thank you for-no, no. You’re not going
to lick your ass.” –Lina
“Death is going to come and… touch
your footprints?” –Cat
“The footlights spawn in Charlie’s pants”
–Lina
“Ha ha, dude, it’s Stalin!” –Lina
“I don’t do polka baby” – Six String
Samurai
“Beware of the Spinach monster!” –
Death
“I have great hair for head-banging” –
Anna
“What are they going in there to do?
Circle jerk!” – Anna
“Flappy, we don’t want to see your
manly breasts!” –Gaby
“I love your mom’s face” –Cat
“I’m scared to hold knives because I
think I am going to cut myself.” –Josh
“Katie: Maddie, you’re Cat’s pajamas.
M- What?”
“Stop touching my arrrrrrrrrMEOW!” –
Cat
“Rachel- So how’s sound going?
Josh- This is lights…”
“You know those girls who wear those
tight shorts with the writing on the ass
that call you a pervert when you read it? I
call them indirect whores.” –Andy
“I think I’m losing my mind.” –Katie
“A sacred sacrifice in Sacramento- Cat
Involving Sargento! - Katie
Jesus Christ!” –M
“This morning I was so cold I couldn’t
get out of bed, so I had to grab a cat and
carry it around with me because they
generate heat.” –M
“Realisticality” –Cat
“I need a knife attachment for my phone”
–M
“You drank him [a teddy graham]” –M
“Katie- What was the Price Revolution?
M- That was when they were like ‘eat
cake or…die”
“It’s like ‘cuddle, damn you! CUDDLE!”
–Cat
“Awww, there’s chicken on my
backpack.” –M
“I only like it [broccoli] drenched in
butter. Otherwise it’s like eww, this
vegetable takes like ick” –M
“There’s no computer left on my face, is
there?” –M
“I’m not going to be a boyfriend stealing
bitch. It’s against my morals!” –Katie
“Zombie slap fight!” –Lina
“This tree doesn’t fit my ass.” –Lina
“The Gotta-Have-It size at Cold Stone is
like diabetes in a tub.” –Flappy
“Gaby and chocolate; hmmm… I wonder
what’s going to happen…” –Gaby
“If you put a nickel down my shirt, a
quarter comes out” –Katie
“Darn it! I forgot to lock the cats in my
room.” –M
“I am an aggressive street-crosser. It’ll
get me killed one day.” –M
“Crew is one of those places where its
like ‘God! Who’s touching me now?” –
Potato
“Scarface is silly.” –Lina
“I went to Catholic school. I’m used to
pain.” –M
“My two favorite things: limbs and
chocolate.” –Lina
“Life is too short to drink bad beer.”
“While he’s cutting his way through, you
can stab him in the face or something.”
-Mr. Horan
“So, he wants us to sing like operatic
cows?” –Sarah W.
“Scra!” –Lina
“Screw that bitch, what?” –Katie
“Squeakage!” –M
“In the land of pigs, the butcher is king.”
–Jenna
“Cat- John, I-
John- Shhh, Ditka is talking.”
“Picture the scariest thing you can. Now
picture it spinning. Terrifying.” –Matt,
boyfriend of Cat’s sister
“Why is it always about whoring with
you [Maddie]?” –Cat
“My tumach hurts” –Cat >o<
“Murders are so sexy.” –Brian
“Grave osculation- scientific way of
saying sucking face!” –Mr. Horan
“ ‘I’m gonna go pitch some woo!’ in
other words: an old fashioned way of
saying ‘ I’m going to go have sex!’ ”
“Kacey- Where are the cables?
Sarah- Underwear!”
“Sarah- I lost my beatings
Katie- Your what?!”
“I have hot pockets” –M
“Strangulation isn’t fun!” –Cat
“Please don’t molest my pencil case” –
Kacey
“Last night, I was the dominatrix.” –
Gaby
“Yesterday I was setting pieces of
computer on fire cause I found out: They
BURN!” –M
“Hi, Lina. You’re not going to shove
lollipops down my pants again, are you?”
–Bernard
“Your mom is a tapeworm” –Lina
“How is congress kinky?” –Gaby
“There’s grape soda in my underpants…”
–M
“No face-tasting at the table.”-M
“Ladies first!”- Flappy *Flappy walks out
first*
“Cat- Are you trying to go online?
Alex- Yeah, but it won’t dial.
Cat- That’s ‘cause I’m on the phone.
Alex- Oh, that’s why I thought the dial-
up was talking to me. I was like ‘let it go,
it’s not talking, its just dialing.”
“Ahh! I’m sitting on something hard!” –
Potato
“They’ve been raping me forever!” –
Gaby
“Which is worse? A pile of dead babies
or the one at the bottom eating its way
up?” –Lina
“No, I don’t want the penis balloon!” –
Gaby
“You are now impregnated with my
unborn child.” –Danny
“Good job! You beat the level! But you
forgot baby Moses.” –Danny
“I still have my balls!” –Danny
“When you cross breed a turtle and an
octopus you get… an octiturtle!” –Liz
“When a mommy penguin and a daddy
penguin get together they make a little
penguin.” –Lina
“I like asses.” –Leah
“Don’t ride your ferret like a horse.” –
Potato’s instructions for caring for a
ferret
“I wish I could come (cum?) but I can’t.”
–Potato
“I worked my way in.” –Sarah W.
“It’s like a hickey in your mouth that you
give yourself.” –Gaby, on canker sores
“There’s no other way to start off your
day than chasing a Filipino down a
hallway.” –Gaby
“Semen!” –Katie
“I don’t want to smash that. It had
hamburger in it.” –M
“ Flappy, you flap my flaps.” –Cat

“Andy- I wanted to bring my dog to
school for parent day.
Gaby- Yeah, you could say ‘I’m a feral
child’
Cat- Then you could say ‘I actually am a
son of a bitch.’ ”
“I’m not that magical of a pony.” –Gaby
“Oh look! A tied note! It’s so cute! I just
want to pick it up and cuddle it! I’ll love
it and pet it and make it its own Myspace
page. I’ll love it and hold it forever, even
till count four when I’m not supposed
to.” –Mr. Waggoner
“Go now or forever hold your pee.” –
Heidi

“Pants stay on!” –M ♫ Flap on. Flap off. The Flapper. ♫ -

Tank
“Oh, my needle broke.” –Cat
“Ewww… It smells like something in
“Marcus loves any man’s daughter but here.” –Josh
his own.” –Latin
“Charlie- Cat! Where’s Cat?
“Tui mater/ mater tui!” – Latin for ‘Your Cat- Meow!”
mom!’
“Can you not touch your chest while
“Danny- If you do start dating a guy, you’re talking to me?” –Charlie (Cooper)
make sure to get him castrated.
Liz- Well, not castrated. Spayed. “Fucking penguins! This is for Happy
Danny- Yeah, spayed. Feet!” –Bernard playing Cat’s PSP
Liz- See, I got Danny spayed when I
started dating him and he’s much more “M- Why is there a sad face on his
docile now.” stomach?
Katie- That’s Scotland!”
(Sara playing guitar)
Bernard: “I don’t come in a bag. I don’t fit in one
♫ There is Natalie either.” –Sarah
She’s a ninja
She eats sushi “I got a fixty-ix!” –M
Then disappears
‘cause she’s Natalie “Manny, don’t lick my ears. They have
she’s a ninja ♫ spirals on them.” –M

“Give me a high-five or I will kill you!” –
M
“I am not cheating on Brian with
Sunkist!” –M
“Tim contiminated my Latin book with
timographs…” –M
“foolf- n. – a foolish wolf.” –M and Cat
“Hence, if gremlins grow grapes, then
wizards weave willows.” –mathbook
“Katie (to Maddie & Brian) – Okay, you
two grab someone else to work with.
Cat- Just don’t grab each other.”
“My fridge exploded and it peed on the
floor.” –M
“M - I opened the door, it catches on fire,
flames *jazz hands*, close door.
Jenna- Maybe the fridge thinks you’re
hot.
Katie – Damn it! (couldn’t breathe
because of laugh attack)”
“Everything I touch catches on fire,” –M
“Sarah- Perdition: that means hell
Cat- Glittery: that means ring. If you
want to make up definitions, so can I.”
“The dog killed the boy who kicked it.” –
Mr. Horan
“You must trust the power of the
butterfly… never underestimate the
power of the butterfly.” –Mr. Horan
“Discrepancy- A fancy way of saying,
‘Oh, I fucked up.” –M and Katie
“Girls, it may be a free country but it’s
not that free. You still have to obey the
music!” –Sergay
“I just realized that if you cut the sides
off of ‘b’ you’re left with ‘c’. Then, if
you put a line back on ‘c’, you get ‘d’.” –
Cat
“My penguins have united.” –Lina
“Peng + win = Penguin
Peng + win have a baby
Peng + win + baby =
Baby Penguin
Peng + win have an evil = killer
Peng + win + baby + killer =
Killer Baby Penguin
Peng + win + baby + killer have another
baby =
Another Killer Baby Penguin!
Sweet”
- Lina’s Penguin Breeding Program
“You [Cat] put a caramel corn down my
shirt?!” –M
“You [Katie] didn’t jump 2 feet in the air,
you just collapsed! Liar!” –Kevin
MacDonald
“So I went to aisle seventeen to find the
shoe polish and was like ‘what the hell?
This is all ethnic foods!’” – M’s dad
“Maddie, you’re blushing.” –Katie
“M- Where did I put my lighter?
Cat- Did you put it in your pants to get
them hot?
M- They’re already hot.
Cat- Okay then.”
“Yes, please come sit with me you beady-
red-eyed little bastard!” –Cat
“I’m afraid of flowers!” –M
“White tulips, yellow pansies… fuck.” –
Cat
“Yes, I have a magnetic chest.” –M
“Preps have hearts of black rotted wood.”
–M and Cat
“Please keep your [Cat] feet out of your
mouth!” –M
“I will bludgeon you with a slightly
soggy FAO Schwartz catalog.” –M
“Don’t put orange oils on me!” –M
“Cat- You threatened to bludgeon me
with a book…
M- So, you attempted to throw Purell
down my shirt”
“I’m going to walk you to the zoo and
feed you to the Yak.” –Cat, Breakfast at
Tiffany’s
“Wait! We have non-alcoholic beer so we
can pretend to get smashed.” –M
“Do computers hibernate?” –M
“Tom- What if Blake sent a hitman to hit
Sarah?
Katie- She’d probably hit the hitman
before he could hit her.”
“Cat- Yeah it’s awesome cause he has
blue eyes cause his mother was raped.
Katie- Yay! *claps*
Cat- Yay for rape?
Katie- No, yay for blue eyes. No yay for
rape.”
“No. No chocolate orgasms right now.
That’s for later…” –Gaby
“I’m Santa’s little ‘HO HO HO’” –Gaby
“I want to do you and Sudoku at the same
time.” –Potato
“Gaby, you make my drawers stir.” –
Potato
“I don’t want to watch the snowman
thrust.” –Cat
“When I read the first sentence I was like,
‘hot lesbian action, YES!’” –Katie
“The cure for inexperience is practice”
“She gaped at his loins.”
“Netherlips”
–Romance Novel
“What did you put down my shirt?
‘Cause I’ll bet you $20 that it doesn’t
belong there.” –M
“It’s like sex in a cookie. Oh my God!
It’s a sex cookie!” –Cat
“Sarah- What’s your favorite year for
skin?
M- ‘74
Sarah- That’s a good year.”
“Cat, stop warming my cheese.” –Sarah
W.
“Fucking glockenspiel… aw, fuck, I just
want to set these little angels on fire and
watch them scream in agony.” –M
“Romans had a lot of sex, so Romans are
cool.” –M
“Please stop enjoying your socks!” –M
“Masochism is the word of the day.” –M
“If you eat cookies over the sink, they
don’t have calories.” –Katie’s dad
“If this wasn’t so expensive, I’d throw it
at you.” –M
“Well, what do you know? There is a
zipper.” –Katie
“I live to please you, Keanu Reeves” –
robot Cat
“(to M) Why does your phone say ‘Brian
is so…’ Oh! I thought that said easy!” –
Lina
“Yesterday I got in trouble for
convincing my brother that ‘Canadian’
was a swear.” –Lina
“An ewok. My favorite little fuzzy
animal… that dies!” –M
“fucking nazi pants.” –M
“Hypothermia is the most wimp-ass way
to die. It’s like, ‘Ooh, I’m cold.’” –Cat
“Lina- What the fuck is incest?
M- Family members fucking.”
“Cat, take your hands off the nuts and
help me kill these guys!” –M
♫ We’re gonna rape, kill, pillage, and
burn
We’re gonna rape, kill, pillage, and burn
Eat the Babies! ♫ - Bernard and Sarah
W.
“Katie- I like this controller because it
vibrates.
M- Anything that vibrates is good.”
“M- It’s already dead
Lina- Then kill it some more!”
Happy New Year 2007!
“M- Oh, I don’t have a New Year’s
resolution.
Lina- Blood!
M- That’s a good resolution.”
“Never try to smoke a Sun-chip.” –M
“It’s a sharktagator!” –Lina
♫ Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
On a one whore open slave! ♫ -Lina
“Do I have to set you all on fire?” –M
“If you try to make a break for it, I’ll
through these at you.” –M
“Lina- What’s wrong with caramel?
M- It sullies the pure taste of Chex mix.”
“Cat- How are ducks and hamsters
similar?
M- They both have substances covering
their bodies.
Cat- Like skin?
M- No.
Cat- They don’t have skin?
M- No.”
“Cat- I’ll make you a compact disc or
rather a CD!
M- Is that what CD stands for?! I always
wondered about it…”
“The queen can go suck an elf for all I
care.” -10th Kingdom
“There isn’t a lot of burning flesh in
Disney movies.” –M
“You know, you can talk with your
mouth open.” –Lina
“Eragon is a ninny.” –M
“Kacey’s Mom- Let’s give him a chunk
of blondie.
Kacey- haha…Mike.”
“ ‘You have a tail!’
‘Yeah, well, you have succulent breasts!’
”
-10th Kingdom
“Katie- Ooh! It’s a pocket!
Cat- … *strange look*
Katie- …what is it?
Cat- It’s a baseball diamond!”
“Prince Wendell loves biscuits!” -10th
Kingdom
“Did you stick your finger in that fish?”
-10th Kingdom
“Cat- I gave you an orange!
M- Yes, but that doesn’t give you the
right to molest me!”
“If my door wasn’t locked, I’d be afraid
that you’d huff and puff and blow all my
clothes off!” –Sally Peep, 10th Kingdom
“They’re sheep whores!” –Lina
“It’s a total emo orgy… I mean there’s
even a dead person involved!” –M
“Is it a euphoric pain?” –Cat
“Marten’s mom is my role model!” –M
“Pat- Wuss! WUSS!!!
M- Patrick, you bit her arm!”
“It’s like the Beatles got together with the
Beach Boys and Bob Dylan.” –Katie
“Stop drinking the Hatorade, man.” –
Pete!
“Yesterday I had food for dinner!” –M
“If I love Cat, then I hate chemistry. If I
hate chemistry, then I like opossums.
Therefore, if I love Cat, then I like
opossums!” –Katie
“Thank God for gay guys!” –Lina
“Maddie, tell your boyfriend to stop
coloring my freckles!” –Katie
“Wow, my legs are really bouncy!” –
Gaby
“If my Latin final doesn’t kill me, then
my chemistry final will. If that doesn’t
kill me, then my AP Euro final will kill
me and grind my soul into little pieces
and sell them to different countries in the
middle east.” –Katie
“Is this a conspiracy train?” –Lina
“You thumb looks like a fetus next to
mine.” –M
“That makes me laugh…on the inside.” –
Sarah W.
“Everyone stop touching everyone else!”
–Cat
“It’s a monkey…and a condom…It’s a
pen condom!” –M
“Cat- Yeah, he’s a forest fighter.
M- Is that a fancy way of saying he’s a
lumberjack?”
“You guys, they’re having chair orgies!”
–Lina
“He’s high on milk!” –Lina
“The evil grandfather wants power…not
sex.” –M
“Aww! I forgot my communist hat and
gloves! Oh fu….arbles?” –Cat
“Manette….man-ette…like a small
man!” –Cat
“Katie- And Maddie could lead a culture
of vampires.
Julia- I’d make some vampires for her to
culture!”
“Sexy stripping in the sound booth
straddling seals!” –M and Cat
“Get in my pants!” –Gaby
“What was I going to draw?? Oh yeah,
chicken fucker!” –M
“M- Shall I break your arm?
Cat- Only if you call me a bad kitty
first...”
“I have fire-stick legs.” –Sarah W.
“It’s supposed to be ice cream but it
looks like semen.” –M
“If you put that down my shirt, I’ll steal
your communist hat and set your hair on
fire.” –M
“It’s not an erotic laboratory.” –Jackie
“Yeah! Chop that wood!” –Random guy
yelling at Kevin MacDonald (the
lumberjack)
“Flappy- Fuck you!
Gaby- But Flappy, you don’t swing that
way.
Flappy- Oh yeah, I almost forgot.”
“Then I will take you against the
lockers.” –Cat
“I don’t speak moron, Cat.” –M
“It’s not the amount of melanin that you
have that counts; it’s how you use it.” –
Drew
“You look like a nice, handsome apple.”
–Carlo to Mike W.
“I don’t care for you, Costanza.” –
Newman
“You have a slightly disgruntled Tim on
your hands.” –Cat to M
“Katie- Now I see!
Cat- No, you don’t.”
“Yes, Cat. You can use my kangaroo
anytime.” –Gaby
“M- What’s a fucking lesson?
Cat- Wanna find out?”
“I have a hot head and a cold body.” –
Gaby
“Captain Logic is not steering this
tugboat.” –Katie
“Microsoft Internet Explorer brought to
you by: Zippy the Wonderbug” –
computer
“You know you want to name your dog
‘Skulduggery’.” –Cory
“Genghis Khan is my other, other lover.”
–M
“Snake likes butter!” –Gaby (as Cass
Pajamas)
“Andy- He broke my fucking balloon!
Kacey- With his penis?”
“So Maddie, how was your clusterfuck in
the bathroom?” –Sarah W.
“Running with pumice” –Cat, Kacey, and
M
“Happy Birthday, Grandma!” –Marten,
questionable content
“Anarchy rules!” –Mr. Frieler
“I’m good at fitting into palaces most
other people can’t.” –Gaby
“Just because I’m single doesn’t mean
you can molest me!” –M
“Cat- When does a peanut burn red?
M- When you set it on fire!”
“M- Poltergeist is an awesome movie. I
like the part when the guy peels his face
off.
Cat- Eating!
M- What? That’s not facial tissue that
you’re eating; it’s salad!”
“M- What’s the white stuff in sauerkraut?
Cat- Mayonnaise?
M- Yeah, that’s what I thought, but I
didn’t want to say it if was really like…
dead baby or something.”
“Symmetry doesn’t count when its pain!”
–M
“He deserves better sound quality than
that.” –Katie
“Cat- So what if I raped your sandwich?
Gaby- That’s not mayo in there!”
“Goddamit, I have to pee but you’re
pregnant.” –Lina, on sitting next pregnant
women on airplanes
“Dear Daniel will love his valentine…or
else he’ll beat me again.” –Hello Kitty
Coloring Book, Cat’s modified version
“Magic tree hose” –computer
“I was at Shell ‘jiggling it’ for five
minutes.” –John, brother of Cat (a.k.a.
Fabulous)
“You have big fluffy eyes.” –Lina
“I wish there was a chubby ninja who
would take my shoes.” –Lina
“anorexically emo” –Katie
“I’m mocha seduction.” –Bernard
“If I was a candy bar, I’d eat myself.” –
Bernard
“Katie- Bernard still owes me $10 from
Pleasure Island.
Cat- I’m sure you went to Pleasure Island
with Bernard.”
“Your foe’s pants can quickly become his
skirt.” –Lina
“Your lies bounce off me like Ping Pong
balls.” –Great White Ninja
“I was merely trying to get close to your
temple, not inside.” –Great White Ninja
“Tambourines of death!” –Katie
“Your head is a turtle slide.” –Cat
♫ Who’s got ADD? Shachi does.
Who’s got ADD? Shachi does.
Who’s got ADD?
‘Cause its fun for you and me?
Who’s got ADD? Shachi does. ♫
-Bernard
“Have fist, will beat.” –Kacey
“Mommy, my puppy exploded :(” –Lina
“BLOOD = 0. There is no blood in this
calculator.” –Cat
“It’s a Kevin-mobile!” –Lina
“So, I was walking down the street and
then BAM! A CAR! Flew from the SKY!
And EXPLODED! And there was lots
dancing and singing and MAGIC!!! *jazz
hands* -Cat
“Sine is opposite over hopatuse…er…
hypotenuse.” –a freshman in Cat’s
Geometry class
“Speak no evil
Hear no evil
Eat no children” –M
“It’s like sunshine stabbing you!” –Katie
“Cat, if you were a real cat, you’d be a
tiger!” –guy in Cat’s Bio class
“How do you think I’d look with a tramp
stamp?” –Flappy
“I wish magical vision fairies would
come and dance around my bed.” –Lina
“Please throw away your balls” –M and
gum package
“M- What did you just smear on me?
Cat- Goo crap”
“May God protect us from the people
who think they’re doing God’s work.” –
Flappy (from Supernatural)
♫ My killer pony, My killer pony… ♫
-Cat
“Can someone ride me home?” –Lina
“Can someone help me move Josh,
please?” –Charlie
“Silly actors, Trix are for crewbies!” –
Sarah & Kacey
“A good Latin student never refuses sex.”
–Katie
“Look at me. I’m Josh. I’m going to go
swing my lanyard because that is the best
activity in the world.” –Cat
“It’s like being stabbed by a cheese
grater.” –Cat
“Katie, if you’re with guys that skinny,
you’ll end up breaking them.” –Gaby
“yellow + bread = orange” –Are you
smarter than a 5th grader/ Bernard
“No, it’s okay. One of them died and the
other’s a drug addict. Yes! Karma!” –
Bernard
“Stop violating me with your words!” –M
“Num” –M, Cat, and Tarin (means ‘!?’)
“I cannot act! My pants are too free!” –
Mrs. Hicks
“You can’t start a pool on fire. Believe
me. I’ve tried…” –Karishma
“If those are the 14th and 15th
commandments, what are 1-13?” –Sarah
W.
“Jeremy- What are loins?
Chris G.- Loins are draperies, you
moron!”
“ ‘Papers’ is neither an article nor a
conjunction!” –M
♫ We are the crewbies
We run this fucking show.
Don’t piss us off or
We’ll cut you like a ho. ♫ -Bernard
♫ Now your mom is forever mine! ♫
-Charlie
“I’m a sex goddess…god! I’m a gender
confused sex god!” –Justin
“This…is not a door.” –M
“Is this a semen flavored gummy bear?”
–Anna
“Wow, Spike- you gave me a real
mouthful… I dunno if I can swallow it
all…” –Anna ♥
“Stop being a vibrating circle!” –M
“Search: San Diego Earthquakes Likely
Results: Stale Betty: Voted Most Likely
to Wear Granny Panties”
“M- Claire, you must have the esophagus
of a lion.
Claire- That’s not the only lion quality I
possess.”
♫ We dance to the drugs,
We dance to the vodka,
And to the voices in our heads,
We dance! ♫ -Cat
“I want you to play with my ding-a-ling.”
–Karaoke at Cast Party
“Cat- You’re an aircraft. A sexy aircraft.
Gaby- Yeah, you wanna join my mile
high club?
Cat- You know it *grabs Gaby’s leg*
Scott- Only if I get to be captain.”
“The mikes are full hard on.” –Blake
“I like my guys like I like men: fruity.” –
Flappy
“It’s a whore-off!” –Heidi
“musicianist” –Date Auction
“Oh my God, Mr. Wanner! Why are all
of your oil pastels so ghetto? I can’t find
the white one. This is so weeeird!” –Girl
in Lina’s Adv. Drawing class
“Well, I guess I can give you ½ credit,
seeing as this is the 1st time I’ve seen you
do the homework this quarter. Actually…
that balloon has a smiley face on it, so I’ll
give you 4/5.” –Mr. Paige
How Lina Remembers the Metric System
My- mili
Car- centi
Drove- deci
Great - gram
Distances- deca
Hitting- hecto
Kids- kilo
“John’s law, Charles’ law, Gay La Sacks
law…What? He was a French guy.” –Mr.
Paige
“Mr. Naisbitt- What do we do with
people who haven’t done the DBQ?
Mr. Frieler- Shoot ‘em at dawn.”
“Mr. Naisbitt- Enough about me,
seriously, let’s talk about death and
destruction.
Mr. Frieler- We just were.”
“Stop talking about sex! What does
parsimonious have to do with sex?” –Mr.
Horan
“We Dance!” –Josh
“Yes, sex, drugs, and rock & roll. Take
away the last two and it’s even better!” –
Katie
“Cat- So I’m not allowed to think things?
John- No. Never.”
“Wood is anti-Semitic…haha.”
“Cat- Come on. It’ll explode before it
does any real damage,
Potato- That’s what she said.”
“The only people who find Latin sexy are
necrophiliacs.” –Gaby
“Katie- Panserbjorne are armored bears.
They have armor and they’re huge…
Lina- and fluffy.
Katie- They kill people. They have no
feelings.
Lina- And they’re fluffy.
Katie- They’re cool and they’re
mercenaries!
Lina- And they’re fluffy.
Katie- Fine. They’re fluffy mercenaries!”
“Ugh! I hate applying to colleges. Never
do it!” –Drew
“Just pull it out and give it to me.” –Gaby
“Katie- When were you by a tuba?!
Cat- While I was doing heroin.”
“I could go for some Godlight right
now.” –Mr. Horan
“I need more nouns in my life. These
guys were all about verbs.” –Mr. Horan
“Hey kitty-cat, wanna purr up my tree?”
–Andy
“Well, hypothetically if you really were a
cat, and hypothetically if my penis was a
tree…” –Andy
“Dude! You’ve got mirrors on your
ears!” –Lina
“Tim has the ability to make people
scream.” –M
“Look at her nails. They’re beautiful. I
want them.” –Frances
“They used to be fuzzier but now they’re
just sparkly balls.” –Cat
“What is orgy?” –Tarin
“We don’t nail things, we screw them.” –
Cat
“I’m not used to you having large gaping
holes in your crotch.” –Drew
“Cat- He’s got no junk.
Lina- That’s ‘cause he’s got no trunk.”
“You [Anna] have an abnormally large
chest for such a small person.” –Cat
“You’re arising a curiosity boner in me.”
–Claire
“Claire- Listen to what the flower people
say:
Heidi- Penis!”
“You and I will have to fill Flappy’s
‘position’.” –Cat, to Lina
“My vagina feels corrupted.” –Heidi
“Do you look at Phoenicians often?” –
Heidi “I have hot feet. I don’t like hot feet.” –
M
“I ain’t saying she’s a boob-digger.” –
Claire ♫ 415-8334
415-8334
415-8334
“Fear is what makes it exciting.” –Gaby
415-8334
415-8334
“BDTW…hmm…Bisexual…Dog…
Tickles…Whale.” –Anna 415-8334
415-8334
“Kinky cows do not sound sexy.” –Cat
415-8334! ♫
“Cat- You groped me. -Anna
Heidi- Yeah, but I didn’t mean to…”
“*Cat walks out of the bathroom*
“Flappy’s Italian…that means he secretes Cat- Gaby, I love your breasts, I mean
delicious oils!” –Cat dress!
Gaby- Sure, Cat, I know you love my
“Harry Dick Thunderthighs.” –Gaby, chest.
Lina, Rachel, and Katie M- (from inside bathroom)
What are you guys talking about?!
“Katie- Stop rolling around; just stay on Cat- Gaby’s rack!”
your back!
Gaby- That’s what she said!” “Gosh, that guy was so red-faced and fat
and sweat…It was like, eww, I don’t
“Cat- Feel it! Feel it! want to touch you; even to strike you.” –
Sarah W.– I’m tired of feeling you. Cat
Cat- *sad face* ”
“We should all be Mormons with Kevin
“I do not butt rape people.” –Hassan MacDonald” –Cat and Lina

“I’ve always wanted to smoke a pretzel.”
–Sarah
“I’m so hungry. Right now I’d do
anything for a dollar.” –Bernard
“Yeah, Mohammed, whack those
moles…ahh…put them back in the hole!”
–Bernard
“I’m sorry! I wasn’t listening because
these two are conspiring to get me to take
my clothes off!” –M
“Who needs men when you have
puppies?” –Lina
“M- More like, who needs guys when
you have videogames
Cat- …or vibrators”

“Cat, stop touching your apples.” –Sarah “I have a chest of STEEL!” –M

W.
“Honey I love you but this bitch don’t
“Pony goes in here!” –M smile for no one.”
“Honey I love you but I love shiny things
more”
–Flappy
“Don’t do it! Don’t do it! It’s not worth
it!” –Random guy at Friday’s during
‘Honey, I love you’
“My mind fell in the gutter and I can’t
find it.” –Anna
“Did you say porneo?” –Tarin
“That chair is not for humping.” –Heidi
Cat and Lina Playing Pokémon
“Cat- Is that guy wearing a penis hat?
Lina- No, its just a regular hat.
Cat- It looks more like a condom. He’s
wearing a condom hat!
Lina- Stop corrupting the Pokémon game.
Later
“Cat- hehe…you got a poké ball. That’s
funny. It’s like, ‘You’ve got a testicle.
Put it in the testicle pocket located inside
the condom hat.
Lina- Cat, I am never letting you play
Pokémon ever again!”
“Cait- I smell like a young Asian boy.
M- What?”
“Sarah W.- Can you screw?
Scott- Oh, I can screw real good.”
“I’m irony personified.” –Gaby
“I don’t have any free hands; do you
mind if I bite it?” –Gaby
“A threesome isn’t an orgy.” –
Mohammed
“Say no to bees” –Kacey, poster on the
wall
“Bees don’t make maple syrup!” –Sarah
W.
“It’s too early in the morning for
stripping.” –M
“I have AP Euro. I haven’t watched TV
in weeks. I don’t know what TV is!” –
Heidi
“What is that? Oh! It’s my pants.”
“Why is THAT down?”
“It’s not torture! He wants to be there.”
–Gaby
“Gaby- I want my coffee.
Cat- Well, my empty cup wants your
coffee, too.
Gaby- I’m sorry, but it won’t get the
whipped cream inside.”
“Cherry Jelly” –Cat and Gaby
“Wow, I’m on fire tonight, too!” –Gaby
“I don’t change in front of scary people.”
–Gaby
“Miss Cantwell! Give me your
Magnolias!” –Lina
“You’re siding with my horoscope? It’s
made out of paper, which comes from
wood. You like wood, don’t you?!” –Cat
“When bedtime falls, it falls with a halt.”
–Khloe, Kacey’s sister
“Kacey- *trying to erase something* This
eraser sucks!
Khloe- That’s a pen.”
“*pointing at arms* Look at my abs!” –
Armand, kid in Kacey’s math class
“There is always a duck watching you.” –
Armand
“Question, Am I among the dire anus?”
“Bring me my children! I am hungry.” –
Kevin
“Why are people always touching me?!”
–Potato
“Oh no! they’re coming in the other
way!” –Gaby
“*Anna reaches out car window*
Anna- Asians!!!
Cat- Anna! Keep your hands inside the
moving car; especially when the Asians
are more than 20ft away!”
“OMG, Scott, you and Maddie should
start your own personal escort service
where one of you would be the driver and
you’d switch off, depending on the job.
Oh! You should name it S & M!” –Gaby
and Caitlyn
“It’s gonna be so awkward sleeping with
you.” –Gaby
“Anna, only you can turn foosball into a
racial conflict.” –M
“YELLOW!!” –Anna
“Casey- Michael just touched my boobs.
Gaby- Mike! We need to talk.
Mike- It’s not such a big deal, Gaby, you
already touched Justin’s penis.”
“Doose- Why do girls always travel in
groups to the bathroom?
Cat- Don’t you know? We take off our
dresses and have pillow fights.
Sarah- Yeah, you know there’s a pillow
dispenser on the wall?”
“Do you like to squeeze balls?” –Scott
“There are too many balls in this pool.” –
Andrea
“Mike hit me in the crotch with his
torpedo.” –Cat
“*Bernard drums on Cat’s arms*
Cat- What am I? A bongo?
M- Yeah, Cat. All you’re good for is
banging.”
“Scott- I have cookies in my pants.
Cait- Are they mini cookies?”
“Cat- Yes, I have a glowing aura of
sexiness; like Jesus.
Cait- Yes, you are the Jesus of all that is
hot.”
“I’m going to beat you with a bloody
pulp!” –Charlie