The Social Exchange Theory in Sitcoms

Watching this clip of “The Big Bang Theory” gives the viewer insight to the Social

Exchange Theory and how Sheldon perceives it in his own way. Social exchange theory

“suggests that we seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the

costs we encounter in dealing with the relationship” (Adler 262). In this case, Penny and Sheldon

have already established an ongoing relationship with one another and therefore are now dealing

with giving and receiving rewards equal to or sometimes greater value to what was already given

or received. We see this in Sheldon before Penny comes into the room. As Sheldon describes his

plan to Leonard, he is demonstrating his uptake on the social exchange theory. We can infer that

Sheldon’s basis on this theory is that with gift giving, his gift has to be of exact equal value to

what he receives from Penny. We see this through his description that he will excuse himself so

he can look up the price of the item he received from Penny to further determine the closest

value gift to give to her.

Moving on through the clip, we notice that as Sheldon opens Penny’s gift to him all he

sees is a napkin. Based upon his nonverbal communication, one can infer that he is considering

what his cost will be to give Penny a gift now. A cost is described as an “undesirable outcome”

(Adler 262). In Sheldon’s case at the moment, the viewer could consider his next potential step

of having to figure out a gift of equal value to be a cost for him while it would most likely cause

Sheldon distress. However, as the film continues on and Sheldon realizes what the gift really is;

his reward is revealed. Rewards are defined as “any outcomes we desire” (Adler 262). Following

this, Penny’s next line stating “Okay, all I’m giving you is the napkin, Sheldon” snaps Sheldon

back into his plan based upon the nonverbal cues of his facial expression and attention. This
urges Sheldon to excuse himself to go accumulate Penny’s gift. Once he returns, the viewers and

Leonard are expected to see Sheldon with one of the gift baskets he got for Penny; however, we

can now realize how much Penny’s gift to Sheldon meant to him. From here, his option of

following his assumption of the social exchange theory to give Penny a gift of equal value was

determined by giving her everything he had. Penny’s response to seeing everything Sheldon

brought into her caused Sheldon to doubt that what he had was not of equal or greater in value.

Because of this, Sheldon thinks of something that might really top it off to be close to what she

gave to him. In this case, he gave Penny a hug. This hug could quite possibly have been the only

gift in return Sheldon needed to give. One can infer this from Penny’s verbal and nonverbal

expressions. She looks stunned and in shock most likely because Sheldon has never given her a

hug before. We can also tell that this is special because of Sheldon’s awkward approach to a hug

through his nonverbal cues, stating that hugs received from him are not that occasional. This and

all the other gift baskets demonstrate a reward for Penny based off of her earlier reward to

Sheldon.

Based on this exchange, Sheldon and Penny’s relationship furthering this can be assumed

to be very positive. This is based on the formula social exchange theorists use to “calculate

whether a relationship is a ‘good deal’ or ‘not worth the effort’” (Adler 263). This formula states,

“Rewards-Costs=Outcome” (Adler 262). Based upon this formula, Sheldon’s rewards was his

gift and the overall outcome of the experience and how it went. The only cost he had through this

exchange was his plan he devised earlier that day. Subtracting these two leads to a much greater

outcome of reward which would be considered positive. In Penny’s case, her outcome would

most likely be a positive one as well. The rewards she received were the gift baskets and a hug
from Sheldon. The costs she made for this exchange weren’t very apparent if there were any

except for getting Sheldon the napkin. Therefore, her outcome would also be positive due to the

amount of rewards she received. To view all sides of the situation, this exchange could lead to

some uncertainty and doubt between Penny and Sheldon. For instance, we are aware that

Sheldon may have felt that his gifts were not enough due to his response. Penny might have also

felt some doubt as well. She only gave Sheldon one gift compared to Sheldon giving her a

number of gifts. This fight between quantity and quality in gifts could potentially cause

uncertainty and doubt in their relationship through exchange. On the other hand, these are only

assumptions and could possibly be completely disregarded depending on the communication

following this exchange.