The Thoughtful Parent 

Understanding
Your Child's
Temperament
Amy Webb, Ph.D.
What is Temperament?

As parents we have a sense of what temperament is but

the research definition is:

“Individual differences in physiological

responsiveness”

In other words, temperament includes those innate,

mostly genetic aspects of a child’s personality.

Differences in how children react to situations, people,

and stimulation can all be included in temperament.
 What Makes up
Temperament?
Researchers Alexander Thomas and Stella Chess first
developed an understanding of temperament in the
1960s and 70s. They included these dimensions:

• activity level—energy level of the child

• approach-withdrawl—how child initial responds to a
new setting
• mood—child’s general tendency to be happy or
unhappy
• rhythmicity—how regular are the child’s
physical/biological patterns (e.g., eating, sleeping)
• persistence—child’s ability to stay with a difficult
task
• attention span—child’s ability to focus on one task
for a length of time
• adaptability—child’s ability to adjust to changes in
routine
• threshold—child’s ability to handle external stimuli
(e.g., loud noises)
• intensity—child’s tendency to emotionally react
strongly or less strongly to events
• distractibility—the degree to which a child is easily
distracted from a task or activity
What Types of Temperaments
Are there?
Based on these dimensions, Thomas and Chess
characterized children into one of three categories of
temperament: “difficult,” “easy,” and “slow to warm
up.”
In their study, 65% of children could be classified into one
of these categories, so another category of “unable to
classify” was created for the remaining 35%. Thomas and
Chess found that in their initial study:

40% of the children fell into the “easy” category,

10% into the “difficult” category and
15% into the “slow to warm up” category

Later, these researchers stated that these classifications

should be thought less as discrete categories but more of a
continuum along which children fell. So a child is typically
not clearly “difficult” or clearly “easy” but somewhere along
the continuum from “difficult” to “easy.”

**Just a note here: the terms “easy” and “difficult” are those
used by the original researchers. This is not to say that you
have a difficult or easy child. Later researchers have used
different terms, but I’m referring to the original research
here.

Personally, I don’t think any child is completely “easy” or

“difficult,” they each represent their own unique
combinations of personality traits.
 Is Temperament
Genetic?
Although most researchers agree that there is at
least some genetic or biological basis for
temperament, the role of the environment and life
experience is also important.

In reality, the expression of temperament is most

likely a combination of either biological and
environmental features, or what researchers call
“gene-environment” interactions.

This makes sense when you think about it. If you

have a tendency to have a more inhibited
temperament, this will influence the types of
situations you expose yourself to due to the fact that
you will not feel comfortable in every situation.

This experience with the environment will then

further shape your behavior and personality. This
distinct interaction between genes and the
environment is probably what ultimately makes
each of us unique individuals.
 How Does Temperament
Affect How I Parent?
This is one of the most fascinating aspects of temperament.
Since having kids, I have realized that temperament
influences so much of how I parent my children.

We have all had experiences in parenting where the

discipline technique or choice we made in parenting one
child, did not work the same way or had a totally different
outcome with another one of our children. This
difference can usually be explained by differing
temperaments.
 What is Goodness-of-
fit?
Another concept that researchers discuss in regards to
temperament is goodness-of-fit: how well a child’s
temperament fits with his/her environment.

Example: you have a child who is very active and social but
he’s in a classroom that is dominated by seatwork and does
not value collaborative work with classmates.

Do you think this shows a high degree of goodness-of-fit?

Probably not. There’s a good chance this child will struggle

or not meet his potential in this setting due to a lack of
goodness-of-fit. This doesn’t mean there necessarily
anything wrong with the classroom or the child—it’s just not a
good fit.
 Goodness of Fit (cont)
Example: you are an introvert by nature, need quiet time,
and don’t like to approach new people. Your child, on the
other hand, is a social butterfly. She will make friends in
minutes at the playground, will strike up conversation with
strangers and needs a lot of social interaction to function well.

Will you and your child experience a high degree of

goodness-of-fit?

Probably not. Again, this doesn’t mean that there is anything

wrong with your parenting skills or your child.

However, this situation doesn’t have to cause problems. If you

realize this difference, you can work to find compromises so
that both of your needs are met. This is a challenge with
toddlers, but as kids get older, you can work together on this.
how does culture influence
temperament?

How parents respond to their child’s temperament can have

a lot to do with their own culture-bound values,
expectations and standards.

For example, many of us who were raised in American

culture value independence and self-reliance to a great
degree. Given this, we may respond to a child who is “slow to
warm up,” apprehensive about social interaction, or who
needs more guidance much differently than a parent from a
culture that values interdependence more highly.

What is defined as a “difficult” or “easy” temperament can

vary dramatically by culture. Just think about it. We here in
modern Western society may think of a fussy baby who cries
a lot as having a “difficult” temperament. However, in a less
advantaged culture where famine or disease are common,
such as baby would be considered “hardy” and more likely to
survive these challenges. Thinking of temperament in this
way gives it a whole new perspective.
 Does Temperament
change?
The question of whether temperament changes is probably one
of the most commonly heard from parents. Generally speaking,
temperament does not change. However, how parents
approach their child's temperamentally-based behaviors can
affect how they are exhibited over time.

For example, say your child's temperament is more reactive

to stimulation. Maybe your child reacts easily to crowds, noise,
particular feelings or textures.

This temperamental aspect of her personality will not

necessarily change over time. However, if these reactions are
causing challenges in daily life or outings, you can offer
suggestions for ways for your child to cope better.

If you know a party or outing will be crowded, for example, you

could talk to your child in advance about ways that would help
her feel more comfortable. Perhaps she could stand by you in
a quiet corner if the party gets too loud. Maybe you could
work with your child on some breathing exercises that might
help calm her when she gets overly excited or upset.
Temperament in Babies

If you have more than one child, you probably realize that
babies can have different temperaments right from the
start. By 3-4 months of age, you start to have a sense of
your child’s activity level, ease (or lack thereof) of
soothing, irritability, and responsiveness to
stimulation.

Example: my first son was extremely sensitive to

stimulation as an infant. At 2-3 months old, he would startle
or jump every time the air conditioner clicked on in our
house (which was often in summer in Texas).

He required a lot of soothing to get to sleep and bouncing

was just about the only thing that kept him asleep for any
length of time.

Was he a “difficult” baby?

Well, if temperament has to do with differences in

physiological responsiveness, I’d say he was on the overly
responsive end of the spectrum.

However, as time went on, I also came to realize that this

responsiveness also had an upside—he was very
observant, learned language fairly early and was super
friendly with almost anyone.
 do "difficult" babies grow into
"difficult" kids?

This is one area that we actually have good research to

rely upon. More and more studies are showing that
temperamentally “difficult” babies (i.e., those that are very
responsive to stimuli or have a hard time self-regulating) are
actually more influenced by parents.

In other words, these kids are more responsive to all sorts of

stimuli, including parenting.

In an environment of caring, responsive parents, these

babies grow up to function just as well or better than
temperamentally “easy” babies.

However, in an environment of inconsistent or uncaring

parenting, these children suffer more too.
 "Difficult"
Temperament
Children with difficult temperaments are thought to be extra
sensitive to the external environment and find it harder to
regulate themselves.

While this can be challenging for parenting at times, it

may also mean that these children are also more sensitive
to parents’ interventions and attempts to help them learn to
regulate their emotions.

I consider this good news for parents—what you do really

matters. If you are responsive and patient in helping your
“difficult” baby learn to self-regulate, your hard work really
pays off.
 How can knowing my child's
temperament influence my
parenting?
I think having some understanding of your child’s
temperament can greatly affect how you approach a variety
of parenting choices: discipline, routines, social
situations, etc.

Example: if you know your child has a more sensitive

temperament and has strong reactions to certain situations
or activities, you can help prepare him/her for these
ahead of time.

Social Situations
I know my older son tends to get overstimulated easily; that
is part of his temperament. Knowing that, I can talk to him
about what routines or actions would help him calm down
after an overstimulating situation (e.g, a big birthday
party).

Discipline
Based on temperament, children might have very different
reactions to discipline techniques.

A more sensitive or introverted child might respond well to

a time-in or might only need one corrective word to know
what he/she is doing is not acceptable.
Temperament and parenting

However, a more strong-will or persistent child might need a

different approach.

The point is that understanding your child’s temperament

helps you know that “one size fits all” parenting may not
work.

Another point is that understanding temperament can

sometimes help you as a parent avoid problems before
they occur.

Example: if your child is more introverted or slow to warm

up, a large loud social situation will be difficult for him/her.
As a toddler, this is likely to be a situation where a
meltdown is likely to occur. Your toddler, of course, doesn’t
have enough maturity to know this is why she/he feels
uncomfortable, but if you have gained some insight into
temperament, you might be more prepared for this (or
avoid it all together if possible).

As children mature, they can handle situations like this

more easily, even if is not a good fit for their temperament.

However, knowing that a situation might be a challenge,

you could offer some solutions that might help—point out
a quiet corner or allow the child to bring a book to read if
things get too overwhelming.
 Summary

Key points:

- there is no “right” or “wrong” temperament

- you and your child may differ in temperament—this can

be the source of some challenges

- seeing the positive aspects of your child’s temperament

can help

- it helps to understand that sometimes the way kids act is

temperamentally-driven and that they are not trying to be
difficult or oppositional

- remember that temperament is what makes your child

unique from every other child

For further information check out:

www.thoughtfulparent.com