Assignment #4 – Negative Letter – (10%)

COMM 2710 - Business Writing Strategies - Durham College - Spring/Summer 2020

DEADLINE: due Monday July 27 by midnight - in the appropriate folder on DC connect

BAD NEWS TO CUSTOMERS

As the owner of Crème bakery in St. John’s, Newfoundland, you have a devoted clientele savouring your
delicacies. Your salty caramel cupcakes offer an irresistible salty-sweet flavour combination using fleur de sel
crystals harvested from the pristine seas of Brittany, France. These salt granules complement the sweet
buttery caramel that flavours both the cake and frosting. Although your cupcakes are a trendy hit, you also
feature delicious cakes, squares, cookies, croissants, and breads. Your bakery has a medium-sized storefront;
however, most of your business comes from supplying local restaurants and coffee shops with your tantalizing
treats. You own two trucks that make deliveries to customers throughout the St. John’s area.

Although Crème is financially successful, rising costs have severely undercut your profits over the past few
months. You know that you are not the only business owner dealing with rising prices. Many of your suppliers
have raised their prices over the past year. Specifically, the higher prices of wheat and sugar have resulted in a
drastic increase in your production costs. Previously, you did not charge for deliveries made to your wholesale
clients. However, you now feel that you have no choice but to add a delivery charge for each order to cover
your increased costs and the price of gas.

Hint: Try to think of a special offer to soften the blow. Give the wholesale clients only the details that they need
to know. Avoid negative language as much as possible.

INSTRUCTIONS: Complete the ​TWO​ activities.

1. Plan​ your message using PAIBOC. Fill in the chart below.

What does it
Letter Explain it for the case study.
stand for?

The purpose of my letter to my wholesale clients is to inform them of

P Purpose the change in costs, specifically that I will have to add a delivery fee.

The audience of this letter are local restaurants and coffee shops who
A Audience
buy and sell my bakery treats.

Relevant information relating to an added delivery fee would be the

I Information reason behind it, the increase in production costs due to an increase in
wheat and sugar prices.

My company would not experience more loss than profits and money
B Benefits
flow would balance out again.

Since there is now a delivery fee where there once not was one, my
O Objections consumers (restaurants and coffee shops) would have to pay me more
for my treats.
 The context of this letter is negative due to an increase in costs though
C Context
I will try to break the news kindly.

2. As the owner of Crème Bakery, write a letter to your wholesale clients in which you announce a $20 charge
per delivery. Address the first letter to Ms. Stacey Winsor, Café Fairwell, 16 Blackmarsh Road, St. John’s,
NL A1E 2H3.

Crème Bakery
123 Bakery Drive
St. John’s, Newfoundland

27 July 2020

Ms. Stacey Winsor

Café Fairwell
16 Blackmarsh Road
St. John’s
NLA1E 2H3

Dear Ms. Winsor

It has been a pleasure knowing that Café Fairwell is selling our bakery treats as well as how loyal
and patient you have been with Crème Bakery. It seems that we have both noticed a trend in prices
with other local restaurants and cafes due to an overall increase in production costs caused by
inflation of prices for goods required by our establishments to run our business.
Crème Bakery is also negatively affected by these increases in prices and our business is suffering
a loss due to a drastic increase in our production costs. Our team has agreed that the best way to
reduce these costs is to add a delivery fee. Due to your loyalty with our company, we wish to offer
you a special offer due to this inconvenience; bulk orders will be drastically cheaper due to less
back and forth from our delivery trucks.
We thank you for your time and hope to continue business with your establishment.

Sincerely,

Vincent Silalahi
President of Crème Bakery
253-294-4938
v.silalahi@bakery.com
 Rubric for Assignment #4

Criteria Excellent Acceptable Needs Improvement

(4-5) (3) (0-1)

- Correct letter format - Most elements included - Few elements

Letter Format & correctly included correctly
Professional - Writing is professional, concise,
Writing Style convincing & clear; Good word - Acceptable writing style. - Poor writing style.
choice & sentence structure.

- Indirect approach is used - Approach to bad news is - Approach is blunt

- No apologies or negative words in the somewhat abrupt
buffer - Most necessary details - Buffer is negative
- Supporting details include all relevant are included
information and describe - Bad news is mostly - Details are not clear.
Content
circumstances leading up to the issue softened or mostly stated
- Bad news is softened, but stated clearly
clearly - Conclusion is somewhat
- Conclusion is courteous courteous.

- Letter is error-free and “workplace - 1 – 3 spelling or grammar - More than 3 spelling

ready;” errors or grammar errors
Workplace Ready
- Tone is positive - Letter is somewhat - Letter is not
“workplace-ready”. “workplace ready.”
- Presentation is clean, professional.

TOTAL (15)

The documents must have a clean and professional appearance. No cover page is required.
Plagiarism Policy:​ If material too closely resembles another student’s work (as determined by the professor),
both ​assignments will receive a “0” and an Academic Alert will be placed on the ​both​ students’ files.

*Late assignments will not be accepted unless you contact me 24 HOURS BEFORE the assignment is
due and provide documentation within 1 week. Please refer to your course outline for further details