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Prologue

Plagiarism is a crime. I DO NOT PROOFREAD. So if you spot some errors, be it

grammatical or typographical, please bear with me. Thank you! :)
FB GROUP: Patyeah Stories
Twitter: @patdanao

---
New York, USA
1 year ago
I descended from the cab and scanned the whole area. I was infront of a massive
building. I saw the words etched on the side of the wall. Monteverde Group of
Companies.
I paid my fare then discreetly walked towards the pavement. Asan na siya? Maya maya
ay nakita kong may mga naglalabasang businessmen in their three-piece suits.
My eyes stopped roaming when I saw his familiar face.
I smiled a sad smile as I gazed at him with longing and wistfulness. He couldn't
see me, I was too far from him. He looked sinfully handsome in his gray suit. He
entered his car and I watched in silence as he drove to who knows where.
I sighed. Ito yung nakakabuti eh. He has the life I know he deserves now.
I knew you could do it. It was all worth it. I thought as I eyed the building in
front of me with pride.
Seeing him successful is enough to make me happy.

1
Present day

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I was wearing a black halter dress paired
with killer black heels. I also applied black lipstick-oops! Joke lang. I'm not a
freaking witch. My lips were the color of fresh strawberries. Lucious red. I
puckered my lips in satisfaction. I even winked at my own reflection.

I took my purse and gracefully exited my room. I was halfway down the stairs when I
heard my moribund stepfather utter my name. I raised my phenomenal eyebrow and
turned. He was standing on his room's doorway. He scrutinized me and his expression
tightened. "Wala ka na bang ibang gagawin sa buhay mo kundi ang magbar?"

Wow. I wonder where he gets the gall to speak to me like that. "Wala ka na bang
ibang gagawin sa buhay mo kundi pakialaman ako?" I shot back.

"Bakit hindi ka nalang kaya tumulong sa kumpanya? Nagkakaproblema na tayo don."

"Problema nyo yon." I answered while rolling my eyes. I loathe him. I wish my real
dad was here. But no, nananahimik na siya sa taas.

Ever since my mom died five years ago ay ang stepdad ko na ang namamahala ng lahat
ng ariarian namin. He married my mom for money. I gave him a look of distaste when
I remembered him telling me that, weeks after my mom passed away.

Gusto kong lumayas sa bahay na to at lumayo sa halimaw na nasa harap ko pero hindi
ko gagawin. At bakit? Akin ang bahay na to. Ito na nga lang ang nasa pangalan ko
dahil brinainwash nya si Mama.

Kaya ang laki ng napunta sa halimaw na stepfather ko. So I decided to stay here and
pester him to death. Wawaldasin ko nalang ang pera nya.

"I don't know what to do with you anymore. You're getting worse each passing day."
He said as his jaw clenched. I batted my eyelashes as I spoke. "Awww."

I hope that's enough to piss him off. I waved my hand dismissively and climbed down
the stairs. Nakatingin sakin yung mga maid at tinaasan ko lang sila ng kilay.
Kinuha ko yung susi ng bagong bili kong kotse at sumakay dito.

My iphone buzzed inside my purse. I took it out and saw that I received a message
from my friend. Nasa bar na pala sila. Ako nalang ang hinihintay. I replied with an
on the way.

The drive was calming. This is how I feel every time I go out of that fucking
house. I can't even call it a home. I parked in front of Andromeda. Yun yung name
nung bar. I checked my face on the rearview mirror. Stunning. Puri ko sa sarili ko.

Bumaba ako sa kotse at pumasok na sa loob. I was greeted by the loud music
reverberating on the whole place. Sinalubong ako ng dalawa kong kaibigan. Altheia
and Psyche. "Akala ko hindi ka na dadating." Altheia pouted.

"Pwede ba yon? I won't ditch the two of you. Nagkaron lang uli kami ng encounter ni
Alvido." I casually replied. Tumango si Psyche and tugged at my wrist. "Let's get
wasted tonight!" She shouted to get heard. Nailing iling nalang ako.

Ganyan talaga pag brokenhearted, been there done that. We headed towards the bar
counter. I was not planning to get drunk tonight but somehow I did.

Psyche and Altheia are busy dancing their hearts out. I took another shot of liquor
as I stared at my hand. I eyed the ring I've been wearing for four years now.

Stop it. He's not coming back. Saway ko sa sarili ko. I sighed ang massaged my
temples. A guy slipped in the stool next to me. He offered a smile, and I just
nodded.

Hoping that he gets the message. I am not interested. I have no plans of getting
laid. "I'm Ken. You are?" He offered me his hand. I halfheartedly shook it but I
didn't tell him my name. He ordered a bloody mary and took it in one gulp.

"What is a beautiful lady doing in this bar alone?" He queried, obviously not
giving up. "I'm with my friends." I nodded towards the dancefloor.

"Hmm, okay. Do you wanna dance?" He pressed. I shook my head. I ordered another
glass of liquor. I kept on drinking. Ken was still sitting beside me. I was
completely blitzed out after five more shots. I reek of alcohol.

"Hey Ken!" I hollored as I tapped his shoulder. He faced me and I pointed towards
the dance floor. His face lit up as he guided me in the middle.

I giggled. We danced sexily and maybe I was really losing my grip on sanity because
I let Ken pinch my butt. I smiled at him lasciviously and he chuckled like a sex-
starved man.

"You're really hot." He mumbled on my ear. I looked at him seductively and bit my
lip. We were grinding in the middle of the dance floor for fuck's sake. I heard his
muffled moans.

"Ahhh, shit baby." He groaned. His hands roamed my body and I let him. His grip on
me loosened and I heard him curse.

I don't know how it happened but the next scene I saw was so appalling that it made
me scream.

I saw Ken lying unconscious on the floor while someone was bashing him in the face.
"Leave her the fuck alone!" The guy shouted as he let loose one final punch.

I froze. That voice. Kahit lasing ako hindi ako pwedeng magkamali. It's him! Tiny
voices were screaming in my aching head right now. Telling me to run so that he
couldn't see me.

But I held my ground. I waited for him to turn and when he did, my jaw almost fell.
Siya nga.

My heart started pounding. Four long years. It's been four long years since we've
been this close to each other. His mere presence brings back thousands of memories.

I looked at his face but he was expressionless. I opened my mouth to say something
but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the exit.

I was too dumbfounded to react. "T-teka. Si Ken. He's bleeding. Baka n-napatay mo
siya." I said, scared all of a sudden. He faced me, he was still poker faced. "Edi
babayaran ko ang buhay nya."

I stopped on my tracks when I heard him say those words. Never in my life have I
heard him say something unpleasant towards other people. Tapos ngayon sasabihin
nyang babayaran nya ang buhay nito? Nabibingi na ba ko? He didn't really say that,
did he?

"Ano?" Ulit ko para makasigurado. Anger flashed in and out of his face. "Babayaran
ko ang buhay nya. Diba ganon naman dito sa mundo? Lahat ng tao may katapat na
halaga." Madiin nyang saad.

I looked at him intently. Siya ba talaga tong kausap ko? "You're wrong. Hindi lahat
ng tao pwede mong tapatan ng pera."

He laughed sarcastically. "Oh talaga? Ikaw ano bang katapat mo?" He challenged.
Wala akong masagot. I was speechless, partly because I was shocked to see how much
he has changed.

"Lalaki ba ang katapat mo? That guy who was caressing your body a while ago, ganon
na ba mga tipo mo ngayon?" I felt hurt and offended. How could he? Pano nya to
nakakayang sabihin sakin?

"I didn't know na bumaba na pala ang standards mo." Nanunuyang sabi pa nya. Para
akong sinasaksak sa mga sinasabi nya. The corner of my eyes became hot.

Hindi na ako sumagot. I took his hand and threw it away. Tapos lumabas ako ng bar
patungo sa kotse ko. For such a long time, I wished for this day to come. But I
didn't imagine that this is how it would go. I felt an arm tug at mine.
I turned only to see him staring at me with such cold eyes. "Don't you dare walk
out on me when I'm talking to you!" He gritted his teeth and his grip on my arm
tightened, causing me to wince in pain.

I pushed him hard and gave him a mind-shattering slap. My tears were threatening to
fall but I willed them not to. I pointed a shaking finger at him. "I didn't know
you could be this heartless." I uttered, my voice almost breaking.

He only gave me a cold stare and spoke calmly.

"And I didn't know you have a tendency to be a slut, Cassidy."

2
"Cassidy! Stop crying! Ano ba. Kanina ka pa!" Altheia said peevishly..

"Akala ko pa naman ako yung magmomoment ngayon. Inagawan pa ako ng bruhang to."
Nakataas ang kilay na sabi ni Psyche as she handed me a tissue roll.

Hindi ko sila pinansin at patuloy lang na umiyak. We're at Theia's condo, malapit
kasi ito sa bar kaya Psyche and I decided to stay for the night. Pinainom nila ako
kanina ng pampatanggal ng sakit ng ulo and it's really effective because I'm now
able to think clearly.

"Honey, stop crying at baka sugurin ko yung punyatero mong ex. Jusko. What an
ungrateful bastard. Kukupas ang ganda mo dyan sa kakaiyak mo." Theia sat beside me
and patted my back. I sniffed.

Psyche hugged me, "Do you want me to kick his most valuable possession?"

I laughed ang gave her a light punch. Umiling ako. "Wag na. Hayaan na natin siya.
Diba nga people change?"

Psyche snorted. "Oo. Ang mga lalaki talaga kahit kelan. Wala ng ibang ginawa kundi
manakit at manloko!" I sighed as I wiped the last set of my tears. I gave them the
best smile I could muster. "Thanks."

They rolled their eyes in unison. Sanay na ako sa kanila. Matagal na kaming
magkakaibigan. Siguro kung hindi ko sila nakilala dati ay nabaliw na ako. I'm
really thankful to have them kahit mga lukaluka sila. I marched towards the room
I'm going to occupy. "Night." Theia said before entering her own room.

Ng nakahiga ako sa kama ay hindi ako makatulog. It was as if the word slut was
echoing inside my head. To hear him say that to me was really painful. Ang laki ng
ipinagbago nya. Hindi ko inaasahan na magiging ganon ang reaksyon nya sa muli
naming pagkikita.

What happened? Nalulungkot na tanong ko. What happened to the sweetest and most
thoughtful person I know? This is all your fault! Kasalanan mo naman kaya ganyan
ang pakitungo nya sayo! Sigaw ng isang parte ng utak ko. I grunted. Ayoko na mag-
isip ng ganito! This is seriously not helping!

I checked the clock, mag aalas tres na. I paced left and closed my eyes to get some
shut-eye.

Nagising ako na mataas na ang sikat ng araw. I groggily got up from bed and rubbed
the sleep out of my eyes. I took my phone and scanned my messages. My eyes shot up
when I read a text from my manager. Shit!
Patay na naman ako nito! I was about to call him but he called before I could even
dial his number. Tinapat ko ito sa tenga ko. "Hello-"

"Where the hell are you Cassidy? Kanina ka pa hinihintay dito sa photoshoot!"

"Sorry Christian! I'll be there! Nakalimutan ko kasi. Pasensya na tala-"

"Just hurry! Get your ass in here!" Galit nyang sigaw before he dropped the call.
Napamura ako. I ran towards Theia's bathroom for a quick shower tapos nanghiram
muna ako ng damit nya.

I left a note saying that I'm at a photoshoot and I borrowed some of her clothes. I
drove like a crazy race car driver. Malilintikan ako nito kay Manager!

I've been a model for almost a year now, hindi ako sikat, mind you. Baguhan palang
ako eh. At wala akong planong sumikat. I chose to accept the offer na maging model
kasi tinamad na akong magpakaemo sa mansion.

I like modeling because it's not a regular job. Hindi tulad ng sa kumpanya na araw
araw kailangan nandun ako. Boring!

Sa wakas ay nakarating na ako sa studio. I entered and saw Christian-my manager-let

out a sigh of relief. "Finally." He said impatiently.

The photographer nodded in my direction. "Miss Cassidy Hurdiss. Akala namin ay

hindi ka sisipot." I pasted a smile on my lips. "Sorry. Shall we start?"

Inayusan na nila ako, they applied heavy make up because I have to achieve a fierce
look. They made me wear a denim brassiere and a bleached high-waist shorts.

Mabilis lang kaming natapos. I changed into a more casual attire afterwards.

I thanked the phtographers and make-up artists before I followed Christian outside.
He's six years older than me. He just turned twenty nine last month. "Akala ko
mapapahiya ako kanina eh. Pasaway ka kahit kelan." He said while we were walking on
the hallway.

"Late nga ako nagising!" I defended myself while rolling my eyes.

"Ang sabihin mo nagbar na naman kayo nila Altheia at Psyche last night. Lalong
lumala ang pagiging bar fly mo, dinamay mo pa si Theia." He reprimanded. Sinapak ko
nga.

"Kapal! Si Altheia kaya ang nagyaya. Baka kasi naghahanap ng lalaki yon." Nangiinis
na sagot ko at sinamaan nya ako ng tingin.

He really likes Theia. Yung isang yon naman napakamanhid. Natatawa nalang ako sa
kanilang dalawa. "Pwede ba Cassidy? Tigilan mo nga ako ng pangiinis mo. Kung sa
stepfather mong hilaw effective yan aba sakin hindi."

"Weh? Eh pano pag sinabi ko sayong may nanliligaw na naman kay Theia ngayon?
Naalala mo yung type nyang soccer player? Well, he's hitting on-"

"Shut up! Stop it!" Nagtatakip ng tenga ang loko. Inakbayan ko siya habang
nakangiti ng nakakaloko. Nasa tapat na kami ng elevator. I pressed the open button,
paakyat na.

"Wag kasing torpe." I advised. *ping*

I looked at the elevator at napaatras ako ng makita kung sino ang nasa loob non.

"A-aaron?!" Gulat na bulalas ko. He raised his eyebrow and his gaze drifted to my
arm draped on Christian's shoulder. I consciously removed it.

"What are you doing here?" Malamig nyang tanong. I looked at my toes. I couldn't
meet his eyes. "Photoshoot."

I can almost imagine him nodding. "Model ka?" Tumango ako which probably looked
stupid kasi nakayuko ako.

"I thought you wanted to be a chef." Saad uli nya. "Priorities change." Mahinang
sagot ko.

"Yeah, they do. Kaya nga nang-iwan ka diba?"

3
Pagkasabi nya nun ay walang sabi sabing nilampasan ko siya at sumakay sa elevator.
Sumunod naman si Christian na nakakunot ang noo. Tinignan siya ni Aaron ng
nangingilatis. He pressed the elevator button para di ito sumara. DAMN.

"ANO BA!" I screamed. Nanatili lang siyang nakatingin kay Christian. "Boyfriend mo
ba to? Pre advice lang. Yung girlfriend mo may kasamang lalaki last night. Tsk.
Hindi mo ata napapaligaya kaya naghahanap ng iba." Tapos he turned his back and
walked like a king on the hallway.

Pinindot ko na yung close button. Christian gave me a confused look the moment the
elevator closed. "What the hell was that?! Sino yung gagong yun?" Naiinis nyang
sabi. I shook my head to signify that I don't want to talk about it. He sighed and
gave me a brotherly hug.

"It's okay. Whoever he is, he's an ass." I nodded and kept my tears at bay. He let
go and lead me outside the building. "Will you be okay?"

"Yeah." I was almost thankful that my voice did not falter. "Okay, magingat ka."
Sumakay na ako sa kotse ko and drove home. Shit. I felt like trash. I entered the
mansion and was really relieved to find out that my stepfather was at the company.
Hindi madadagdagan ang badtrip ko. Sheesh.

Pumasok lang ako sa room ko and stayed there for hours. I didn't bother eating or
checking my phone. It was already ten o'clock when I decided to stop letting it get
to me. Clubbing alone would be really perfect right now.

As usual, I chose a sexy dress which will accentuate my curves. I wore my 'fuck me'
heels and I felt satisfied. I took my phone from the bedside table. Tumawag pala si
Theia. I didn't call back because she's probably with Christian right now and I
don't wanna vitiate a budding romance.

I drove towards Andromeda. The bouncer gave me a creepy smile but I decided to just
shrug it off. I got seated on the bar counter and ordered tequila. My eyebrow shot
up when I saw someone approaching.

He was looking at me in a dirty way as if thinking which position would be suitable

if I would have sex with him. Wow, such a brazen-faced guy. He gave me a lopsided
smile. "Hello."

"You're ogling. Stop it." I blurted out when we were already face to face. He
laughed. The sound of his laughter rankles me. I just want to drink alone tonight.
No flirting.

"You're too vocal, don't you think?" Tanong nya habang umoorder rin ng liquor. I
shrugged and drank the last drop of my tequila. "I've been told." I answered
without enthusiasm.

"You look sad." He commented. My eyebrow instantly shot up. Paki ba nya? Epal.
Naiiritang tumayo ako at lumabas sa bar. It's a good thing that that pervert did
not follow.

Bumalik ako sa kotse and took a cigarette. I lit it and puffed. I don't always
smoke, kapag lang may dinadamdam. And right now, I just can't get Aaron out of my
fucking head.

I was halfway through finishing my cigarette when a familiar voice resonated. "So
you smoke now, too. It's gonna damage your lungs, so you should stop."

Nilingon ko siya na nakataas ang kilay. At bakit? Sino siya para pakialaman ako?
After all those rude things he's done pakikialaman pa nya ko? Aba, sumosobra na ang
lalaking to! Masakit parin na sinabihan nya ako ng slut no!

At yung ginawa nya kanina? Psh, still not forgiven. Inirapan ko siya at tinuloy ang
paghithit. "I said stop Cassidy! You're putting your health at risk!" Inagaw nya
ang sigarilyo and hastily threw it to the ground. He stepped on it and threw me a
death stare.

Fine! I'll just go get another one! I reached for the pack of cigarettes in my car
and took one stick. Bago ko pa ito mailagay sa bibig ko ay nahablot nya na. My
temper skyrocketed. "Bullshit! Ano ba?! Will you just mind your own business
Aaron?! Wag ako ang guluhin mo! Get the hell out of my face!"

He gave me a stern look. "You are my business."

"Damn you!" Gusto ko sana siyang bigyan ng dirty finger but I just can't bring
myself to do it. I just kicked my own car. It created loud honking sounds.

"What happened to you? Ang laki ng pinagbago mo. I can no longer see the sweet
Cassidy I once loved in you." Sabi nya habang nakatingin sa mga mata ko. Umiwas ako
ng tingin. The sweet Cassidy is gone. She will never come back.

Parang hiniwa yung puso ko sa sinabi nya. The sweet Cassidy he once loved? Loved.
Past tense. I felt a sudden pang of pity for myself. Gusto ko tuloy tawanan ang
sarili ko ngayon. Parang nanghina yung mga tuhod ko. "Ang laki ng pinagbago mo. Ni
minsan hindi ko naimagine na magiging ganito ka, patapon." I shut my eyes tightly.

I clenched my fists to prevent them from shaking. This is too much. This is just
too much. Pero hindi ako makaganti. Kasi alam kong may dahilan para magalit siya
sakin. He was right. Nang-iwan ako. Iniwan ko siya.

I opened my eyes and stared at him. "Hindi ko rin naimagine na magiging ganito ako
eh. I've always been nice and timid. But I guess I unlocked the true me. Siguro eto
talaga ko. I feel so free. So.. alive."

Alive was not the appropriate word to describe me. Yes, I am breathing but that
does not make me alive. I just exist. That's all. Free? I felt free.. and sad, and
alone. I've lived with this sadness ever since I let him go.

I learned how to deal with it every single day of my fucking life. I feel like an
empty case. Okay-looking on the outside, hollow on the inside.
His eyes seem to be penetrating my soul and unraveling my thoughts. I cleared my
throat and tried to look casual. "I heard that you have your own company in New
York. Wow, pangarap mo yun diba?" I gave him a sideway glance.

Nakatingin kasi ako sa malayo, his stare was just too much to handle. Sumandal siya
sa kotse ko. "Yeah. Salamat pala." I frowned. "What for?"

He sniggered. "For leaving me. Kung di mo siguro ko iniwan hindi matutupad yun. So,
thank you." Sarcasm was present in his voice.

That's why I had to leave. Because I was the hindrance. I thought sadly.

I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from creating any sound. He's doing it
again. He's hurting me.

I stifled a sob and tried to keep a straight face. "I'm s-sorry. I know you're
angry." I wanted to tell him that I didn't really leave. I was there in New York
watching his progress. I was watching from afar.

"Angry? Wow, no. Hindi ako galit. Nagthank you pa nga ako diba? Bakit naman ako
magagalit sayo? Hindi naman nakakagalit yung ginawa mo diba? Yung tipong kung kelan
hulog na hulog ka na tska ka biglang iiwan. Yung tipong hindi mo na maimagine ang
buhay mo ng wala siya tapos bigla ka nyang sasabihan na ayaw na nya. Na may iba
siyang mahal. No Cassidy, I'm not angry at you. In fact natutuwa pa nga ako eh."

Napayuko ako, this time I couldn't stop my tears from falling. "Sorry."

"BULLSHIT!" Galit na sigaw nya. Marahas na iniharap nya ako sa kanya. "SORRY?! Yun
na yon? Sa lahat ng ginawa mo sorry lang?! Sa lahat ng sakit sorry?! Hindi maayos
ng sorry mo yung pagkatao ko! You turned me into a coldhearted monster!"

Napahikbi ako. I kept on repeating that word. And it seemed to anger him more. He
was right, I couldn't erase his pain. "Tangina Cassidy. Kung alam mo lang kung gano
kasakit nung iniwan mo ko."

Gusto kong sabihin na alam ko. Kasi naranasan ko. Na ako din nasaktan. Ako din
nahirapan. But I kept my mouth shut.

"Iniisip ko kung nalulungkot ka rin ba at nasasaktan tulad ko. Pero naisip ko, oo
nga pala. May iba ka na."

Wala akong iba. I said those things so you won't run after me. But you did. And I
admired you even more. I loved you even more.

But the time wasn't right. I just had to set you free. I had to let you go so you
could fulfill your dreams and I was left hoping that when you've already achieved
those goals, you'll come back and we'd continue where we'd left off.

But I was stupid for believing that. I was really really stupid. Because as I
looked at him right now,

All I can see is anger.

4
Another sleepless night for me. After we talked-more like argued-at the bar, I went
home. I didn't even wait for him to finish his sentence. Pumasok ako sa kotse at
mabilis itong pinatakbo palayo.
I haven't seen him in a month. Which was good. Seeing him brings back all the pain.
All the hearteaches. Kaya mas mabuti narin ang ganito. I'm still hurting. It's hard
to accept the fact that I'm inlove with a person who used to love me.
I want to cry and hug myself out of pity for some reason. I used to mean the world
to him, but now, he can't even look at me without feeling angry. I saw those in his
eyes. He loathes me.
The ringing of my phone brought me back to the real world. I pressed accept upon
seeing that it was Christian. "Hello Cassidy! Goodmorning!" He enthused.
"Goodmorning. What's up?" I answered laconically
"Di mo naman yata nakakalimutan no? Tapos ng itayo ang billboard mo sa edsa today!"
"Wow. Whoopee." Walang gana kong sagot. He laughed and even called me masungit. I
rolled my eyes. Whatever.
"Oh sige na. Dadaan pa ako sa condo ni Theia. Bye!" He dropped the call.
Napabuntunghininga na lang ako. Can somebody please teach my manager some manners?
Hindi yata nya alam na dapat babae unang nagddrop ng call. Ugh!
Tumayo na ako sa kama. It's already nine am. Bumaba ako sa sala to eat breakfast
pero sa kasamaang palad ay hindi pa pala nakakaalis si Alvido. He was seated at the
dining table. Wala sana akong intensyong sumabay pero nagaalboroto na ang tyan ko
which means that I have to eat breakfast with him even if I don't want to.
Bumaba ako at umupo sa dulong side ng mesa. He looked up from his newspaper and I
noticed the bags under his eyes. He's getting thinner lately. "Anong nangyari
sayo?" Kunyari ay interesadong tanong ko.
"I'm stressed. Ang daming problema sa kumpanya." I nodded. Okay. Wala akong
pakialam. As if naman may maitutulong ako dun diba? Naglapag na ng mga pagkain ang
mga maid sa table.
"Pakisabi kay Ate Pining na patimpla ako ng coffee." Utos ko sa maid. "Ah eh maam-"
hindi na natapos ng maid ang sasabihin nya dahil sumabat si Alvido.
"Wala na si Pining, Cassidy." ANO?! "Bakit?! Asan siya? Sino na magtitimpla ng kape
ko?!" I grumbled. Si Ate Pining lang ang pinapayagan ko ever since na magtimpla ng
kape ko dahil: a) mabait siya. b) Kuha nya yung gusto kong kape.
Alvido looked at me. "Nagbabawas na kasi tayo ng katulong dito." Napaikot ako ng
mata. Nagbabawas ng katulong? Bakit? Naghihirap na ba kami? Hah! As if.
Hindi ko nalang siya pinansin at nagpatuloy sa pagkain. My phone rang. I took it
and saw that it was Ivy. Assistant ni Christian. "Hello, Ivy. Is there anything
wrong?"
"Maam, yes po! Punta po kayo dito please! Nandito po ako sa office ng kumuha sa
inyo para magmodel ng denim. Gusto po sana nila kayo kunin uli para sa isa pang
project pero bigla pong may sumugod dito!" She sounded really alarmed.
"Teka, teka. Natawagan mo na ba si Christian?"
"Cannot be reached po eh. Baka dead battery na maam. Dapat si Sir Christian nandito
eh pero ako muna pinapunta nya dahil malelate daw siya. Sige na po. Punta na po
kayo dito! Ayaw po talagang tumigil nung lalaki!"
"Bakit ako?! Aba malay ko ba kung bakit nagwawala yung lalaki. Call the guards
nalang! Anong kinalaman ko dyan?"
"Eh maam, kaya kasi nagwawala dahil gusto nyang ipatanggal ang billboard mo sa
edsa."
ANO DAW?! Bakit?! Bakit nya ipapatanggal?! Pangit ba ako?! Pangit ba katawan ko?!
Hindi naman ah! Biglang kumulo ang dugo ko.
"Okay, Ivy. Wait for me." She thanked me and I hung up. Humanda sakin ang kung sino
mang lapastangan na yun! I gritted my teeth in annoyance.
I didn't finish my food, tumayo ako agad at didiretso sana ako uli sa kwarto ko
para maligo ng magsalita si Alvido. "Kailangan ko ang tulong mo."
I stopped walking and turned to face him. "No. Fix your own problems. I have my own
dilemmas to solve." Tapos ay nilayasan ko na siya.
Tulong? I would never help the man who poisoned and corrupted my mother's brain. He
doesn't deserve my help, or anyone's help. He deserves to be alone. I thought
bitterly as I ascended the stairs.
Mabilis akong naligo. In under thirty minutes ay ready na ako. I stormed out of the
house and got into my car. Lumabas ako sa garahe namin, feeling extremely teed off.
Sino kaya ang hinayupak na nilalang na nagpapatanggal ng billboard ko?! Makikita
nya. Malilintikan sakin yon, malaman ko lang kung sino siya ay masasampolan ko
talaga. I was grumpy the whole drive to the said office.
Nung makarating ako sa building ay nagulat pa ako ng makitang may mga nakabarong na
guy na kausap yung mga security guard. Ano ba talagang nangyayari dito?!
I took the elevator and went out on the fourth floor. Habang papalapit ako sa
office ay naririnig ko ang mga galabog. Parang may nagbato ng silya. Shit. Will I
be able to get out there alive?! Ugh. Ipinilig ko ang ulo ko and pushed the door
open.
Nakita ko ang takot na mukha ni Ivy at ng kliyenteng kumuha sakin para magmodel ng
denim. There was a broken chair nearby. Fuck!
"JUST TAKE DOWN HER FUCKING BILLBOARD!" Dumagundong ang boses na yon sa buong
kwarto. Gulat na napatingin ako sa nagsalita. My eyes bulged. "AARON?!" Gulat na
tanong ko. He eyed me, obviously pissed off.
"Why did you accept?! Bakit ka pumayag na magpose ng ganon?! Don't you know na yung
mga manyak na dumadaan sa edsa pagnanasaan ka? Ha? Hindi ka na ba talaga nagiisip
Cassidy Margaux?!" He shouted angrily. He kicked the wall.
I was too stunned to react. Humarap siya sakin and I saw that his face was already
red from anger. "Ano?! Why can't you fucking answer me?! WHY DID YOU ACCEPT?!"
"It's my job, okay?!" I raised my voice. He looked at me with new found hate.
"Well, I don't like your job! You're showing too much skin!"
I put my hand on my head and the other on my hips. Dammit! Ang hirap nyang
paliwanagan! Eto nga ang trabaho ko eh! Anong magagawa ko?!
"Stop! Pwede ba?! I'm not naked on the billboard!"
"You almost are!" He hissed. I raised my arms in surrender. "Sabihin mo ang gusto
mong sabihin. But I won't let you take down my billoard." Naiinis na tugon ko.
Tinaasan nya ako ng kilay. "I don't need your permission to do that." He said with
finality in his tone that it almost scared me.
"What do you mean? What are you gonna do?" I asked, panicking. He reached for his
pocket at may inilabas. Isang pad ng..
I gasped when I realized what he was about to do. "No!" I shouted but he ignored
me. He took a pen from his other pocket and signed the paper. Then he tore it from
the pad at inilagay niya sa harap ng kliyenteng kumuha sakin.
I looked at him in horror. Mr. Chu-our client-eyed the piece of paper on his desk.
Tinitigan siya ni Aaron at nagsalita.
"I'm paying you twenty million to take down her fucking billboard."

Comments will be highly appreciated, thank you!

-
"Cassidy, I'm telling you. That guy is bonkers. Sinong taong nasa wastong pagiisip
ang magbabayad ng bente milyon para lang mapatanggal ang billboard mo?!" Sabi ni
Christian mula sa kabilang linya. I already explained the situation to him.
"I don't know what he's upto." I sighed as I massaged my head. Nasstress ako pag
naaalala ko yung nangyari sa office ni Mr. Chu kahapon.
"The guy still likes you. Obviously! And I can't believe Mr. Chu took the cheque!"
"Ako rin naman eh. I was kind of expecting him to veto Aaron's proposal and tear
the freakin' cheque in half."
"I honestly don't know what to say. Nawalan lang ng battery ang phone ko ay may
ganito ng nangyari."
"Psh. Your fault. Kung nandun ka sana ay nasa edsa parin ang billboard ko ngayon!"
Pagmamaktol ko but he just laughed.
"It's just a damned billboard, Cassi. We'll get a new project soon. Don't worry."
After a bunch of jesting, I bade goodbye and ended the call. Aaron stresses me out.
After Mr. Chu accepted the cheque, I angrily stormed out of the building. Aaron
tried running after me but I gave him a death stare. Kaya pala walang pumasok na
guard dahil ipinaharang nya sa dalawang bodyguard nya.
Damn him! The thought of him makes my blood boil. I need to relax and loosen up.
Naligo ako at nagbihis. I chose to wear a white floral dress and plain black doll
shoes. I took a black shoulder bag from my closet and I'm all set.
I went to a mall. I wanted to call Psyche or Altheia para may makasama ako pero the
two are busy working. Office girls ang mga bruha.
I was busy window shopping when I saw a three-piece suit. I was immediately struck
with sadness. The suit's style was identical to the suit Aaron has been wearing
when I went to New York to see him.
I stopped my thoughts abruptly. Reminiscing is never a good thing. Naglakad nalang
ako patungo sa isang boutique. Petit monde! One of my favorite dress shops! Petit
monde's literal translation is small world.
Paglabas ko dito ay meron na kong nabiling tatlong items. Nagiikot ikot pa ako, ang
dami kong pinamili. After that, I decided that it's time for... adventure time!
Kidding. It's pamper time.
Pumasok ako sa salon and let the gay beauticians do their thing. "Nako maam. Ako
ang bahala sayey! Lalo kang pipretty. Sana kamukha mo si atashi! Inggit ako sa
beauty mo teh!" Sabi ng isang madaldal na bakla.
I rolled my eyes. Hinayaan ko na silang pumili ng ayos na babagay sakin dahil may
pangalan naman ang salon na to so I trust them.
After 1 million years ay natapos na rin. Pumalakpak ang baklang beautician na nasa
likod ko. "Pak na pak ang beauty mo, maam!"
I checked my reflection and wow. I must say that I'm really impressed. They dyed my
black hair a light shade of brown and they layered it. Ang ganda ko talaga. Tsk.
Nagbayad na ako at lumabas. Nagpamassage ako, nagpamanicure at pedicure rin. Feel
ko naman na medyo nabawasan ang stress ko. Umuwi ako sa bahay at dumeretso sa
kwarto. Itinambak ko lang yung pinamili ko sa isang tabi. Tinatamad akong magayos.
I was so tired. I collapsed on bed right after I opened my airconditioner. But I
still forced myself to get up and take a bath. A bubble bath would be really
perfect right now.
Lumubog ako sa bath tub, and damn. The feeling was heavenly. Napapikit ako. This is
relaxing. It never fails to soothe my nerves.
That night I slept like a coma patient. Nagising ako dahil sa sunod sunod na katok
sa pinto ng kwarto ko. I opened my eyes. Who dares disturb my sleep?! "Cassidy!
Gising na anak, may naghhintay sayo sa ibaba."
My anger melted the moment I heard Manang Soling's tender voice. Siya na yung
nagsilbing nanay ko ever since I was a kid. I groaned as I got up from bed. I
hastily opened the door and Manang's smiling face greeted me.
"Goodmorning. Kanina ka pa hinihintay sa baba, nak." I stomped my feet like a child
before heading to the bathroom to clean up. I changed into decent clothes before I
descended down the stairs.
Sino naman ang bibisita sakin?! I walked towards the living room and saw my
visitor. My visitors, rather. "Cassi!" She beamed. Napafacepalm ako. She attacked
me with a hug.
"Cyrelle, what are you doing here?" I raised my eyebrow and nodded towards Aldrin,
her husband. Cy's four years older than me. She's been married for two years now at
kakasilang nya lang ng baby nya.
"Is that how you greet me, cous? Di mo ba namiss ang maganda mong pinsan?" I rolled
my eyes. "Mas maganda ko sayo." I told her matter of factly.
She laughed and smirked. "Really, huh? Nagbago ka lang ng look mas maganda ka na
sakin?! Baby, sino mas maganda samin ni Cassidy?" Tanong nya kay Aldrin. Ugh! Ito
talagang pinsan ko, baliw. Malamang siya ang pipiliin. Asawa nya yan eh. Psh.
Ngumiti si Aldrin at lumapit sa kanya. Hinapit siya nito sa bewang at hinalikan sa
ulo nya. "You know that you'll always be the most beautiful girl in my eyes."
"See?" Natatawa tawang sabi ni Cyrelle sakin.
"Madaya. Of course sasabihin nyang ikaw! This is totally unfair."
She crossed her arms. "Unfair? Hindi lang ikaw ang pinili unfair agad?" I saw
Aldrin suppressing a smile on my peripheral vision.
I held my arms up to signal defeat. "Pumunta ba kayo dito para inggitin ako?"
Seriously, they look like a perfect couple. They look so happy and contented.
Sheesh. I'm starting to think that they went here to rub that in my skin.
"No, silly. I just want to give you this." She handed me a card. I opened it and
saw that it was an invitation. Binyag ng anak nya next month. My nephew is so cute!
"Ninang ka ni Jared ha?" Ano pa nga bang magagawa ko. I nodded. She gave me another
quick hug. "Yey. Promise mo pupunta ka."
"Why do I need to promise you that? Of course I'll come. I already said yes, didn't
I?" Ang kulit!
"Whatever happens pupunta ka?" I inwardly groaned. "Yes!" I exclaimed.
"Then why can't you promise?" I held my temples in frustration. Tinignan ko si
Aldrin. "Why did you even marry her?" Tumawa lang uli ito. Cy was waiting for me to
answer. I sighed. "Okay, okay. Jeez. I'll come. I promise."
Her face lit up. Hinatak nya na si Aldrin palabas ng mansion. Hinatid ko sila
hanggang sa may gate. Aldrin even opened the car door for her.
Hindi ako naiinggit. Swear, hindi talaga. Nung nakapasok na sila sa kotse ay
inistart na ni Aldrin ang makina nito.
Nakababa ang glass kaya nakikita ko parin si Cy. She shouted. "Oh, and Cassi! I
forgot to tell you something pala!"
"What?" I answered.
She winked at me. "Kinuha kong ninong si Aaron."

6
Katatapos lang ng photoshoot ko, I decided to go straight home because I was
knackered. I let my heels clank on the tiled floor. Tahimik sa mansion, which is
unusual.

I headed to the kitchen and found Manang Soling slicing carrots. I think she's
already preparing dinner. "Manang?" I approached.

She looked startled, she even dropped the knife she was holding. Her hands
automatically flew to her face to try to wipe her tears. "Is there something wrong?
Why are you crying?"

Nilapitan ko siya agad at niyakap. She sobbed and I patted her back to let her know
that I'm here for her. "Manang, speak up. Ano pong problema?" Kumalas siya sa yakap
ko tapos ay umiling iling. "W-wala anak. Naalala ko lang dati ang liit liit mo pa,
ngayon oh. Ang laki mo na."

I looked into her eyes and instantly found out that she was lying. May mas mabigat
siyang problema. Never in my entire life have I seen her cry, until now. "C'mon.
Ano po ba yon? You know me, I won't let the matter go until you tell me what's
bothering you."

She sighed and turned her back on me. She continued slicing the carrots. "Manang,
if you don't tell me, then I will ask the other maids and you know that they would
never dare keep information from me. So it's better if you just spill it."

Nilingon nya ako with eyes full of sadness. Her voice was cracking when she spoke.
"Simula f-five years old ka ako na nag alaga sayo. Nakita ko kung pano ka magmahal,
malungkot, mainis. N-napamahal ka na sakin, Cassidy. Tunay na anak na ang turing ko
sayo." A tear fell from her left eye.

"Ayaw kitang iwan pero kailangan eh. Kasi w-wala naman akong magagawa. Dapat nga
magpasalamat pa ako dahil naging parte ako ng buhay mo eh.." I quickly closed the
gap between us and hugged her.

"Manang what are you saying? Iiwan mo na ko?" Nagiinit na ang sulok ng mata ko. She
slowly nodded. Nanakit yung dibdib ko bigla. "B-bakit? Ayoko!" Sigaw ko.
Niyakap nya rin ako ng mahigpit. "Ayoko rin namang iwan ka eh. Kaso wala na kong
magagawa. P-pinal na ang desisyon ni Sir Alvido."

My eyes shot up. "Si Alvido?! Siya ang may pakana nito? Bakit? Kakausapin ko siya
pagdating nya. I won't let you leave Manang, ever."

Pinunasan nya yung luha sa mga mata ko. "Iha kailangan g-gawin to ni Sir. Wala na
kasi siyang maipampasweldo samin kaya nagbabawas siya." WALA NG MAIPASWELDO?! Kelan
pa kami naubusan ng pera pampasweldo ng mga kasambahay?!

Last I checked, we were filthy rich. Ano na namang kalokohan ang pinagsasabi ng
stepfather ko?! Narinig ko ang ugong ng sasakyan. Alvido's here. Napatingin ako kay
Manang. Her eyes were pleading, telling me not to confront my stepdad but I don't
wanna listen.

I'm not gonna lose you, too. I thought as I kissed the top of her head. I gave her
one last glance before I walked towards the living room to wait for Alvido. When he
entered the mansion, he looked shocked to see me comfortably sitting on the couch.

I threw him a look of distaste. He looked at me, confusion visible on his features.
"You're not gonna fire Manang Soling." I said with so much finality in my voice.

He sighed. "I'm sorry Cassidy. Hindi kita mapagbibigyan. Kung nasabi na nya sayo ay
malamang alam mo na. Wala na tayong pangsweldo sa mga maids. Nauubos na ang pera
natin."

Nanunuyang tinignan ko siya. "Niloloko mo ba ko? Hindi mauubos ang pera natin.
Milyonaryo tayo. So please don't try to fool me."

"Milyonaryo? Is that what you think we are? Hah! Dati, oo. Pero ngayon baon na baon
na tayo sa utang. Baon na sa utang ang kumpanya at unti unting naubos ang mga
properties natin!" He shouted. I was speechless for a while, my mouth was hanging
open.

I tried to regain my composure. "I don't believe you. Imposibleng baon na sa utang
ang kompanya." Napipipilang sagot ko.

He looks so serious and problematic. "Matagal ng lugi ang business natin. At first
I thought makakabangon pa tayo so sumugal ako. Pero lalo lang tayong nalugmok. I
sold our properties in Baguio and Ortigas. Pati yung sa Palawan at Puerto Galera
naibenta ko na."

I collapsed in my chair and held my head. This can't be happening. Nanghihina ang
mga tuhod ko. "Pinaghirapan ni Mommy itayo ang company and this is what'll happen?"
I was almost breaking down. He heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry."

Nagtaas ako ng tingin at galit na tinignan siya. "My mom worked so hard to build
that company. Bakit hindi mo iningatan?! Bakit mo hinayaang malugi?! This is all
your fault!" I accused. I was starting to get hysterical.

Yung mga properties namin nabenta na lahat. Wala ng natitira, itong bahay na to
nalang. Hayun ako at nagpapakasarap sa buhay dahil sa pagaakalang mayaman parin
kami.

Pero ang totoo pala, bankrupt na ang kompanya. My shoulders drooped. "Simula ng
dumating ka sa buhay namin nagkandaleche leche na ang lahat!" I shrieked. Tinulak
ko yung vase sa gilid. It crashed on the floor.

"Ginawa ko lahat! Kasalanan mo kasi wala kang ginawa kundi tumunganga! Kung
tumulong ka sana sa kompanya dati pa man, then this wouldn't have happened. Stop
blaming me for your incompetence and selfishness! You wanted me to do all the work
and all you did was waste money on stupid things!" He shouted with the same amount
of intensity I had in my voice.

He pointed a bony finger at me. He was shaking with rage.

I stood up and faced him. "So it's my fault now? Ang sabihin mo, nasilaw ka ng
pera! That's the reason why you married mom after all, diba?! Wag kang magmalinis!
Kung makapagsalita ka akala mo ako lang ang gumagastos ng pera! Akala mo bang hindi
ko alam na natatalo ka ng milyon pag nagkacasino ka?! You and your stupid vices!"

Nanlulumong napaupo siya sa isang silya. "Oh ano, don't you dare deny it. You used
our company's money so that you could gamble! That's the main reason kung bakit
pabagsak na ang kompanya!" I shouted. I was red because I was really angry. I
loathe him. He's a covetous man!

"If you do not want to lose the company then you should fucking cooperate! Drastic
times call for drastic measures. I just had to do i-it. I was left with no other
alternatives. So when the benefactor proposed a deal. I had no choice but to
accept."

I looked at him. Hindi ko na maintindihan ang sinasabi nya. Benefactor. Sinong

benefactor? I don't understand what he's saying anymore.

He gave me a defeated look and spoke. "Sana mapatawad mo ko. Wala na kong magawa. I
had to do it b-because I don't want to lose the company. I was desperate.." His
eyes had those evil glint in them that scared the living daylights out of me.

In a scared tone, I asked.. "W-what did you do?"

My heart was pounding. He looked at his feet and unto my face. "I.." Hinintay kong
ituloy nya yung sasabihin nya.

And when he did, para akong nahulugan ng bomba.

"I sold you."

7
"YOU WHAT?!" My loud voice boomed. He was still looking at his feet. "Anong ginawa
mo?!" Ulit ko while gritting my teeth.

"I sold you.." His voice was barely audible. I kicked the living room table and it
toppled over.

"You fucking sold me. Hah!" Nangigigil na sambit ko. Napasabunot ako sa sarili kong
buhok. "Ano ba ko ha?! Do you think I'm one of your properties na pwedeng ibenta
nalang? I am human! I have feelings! I have rights!"

He wouldn't dare raise his head and look into my face to meet my eyes. If only I'm
not scared of commiting crimes then I would've killed him the moment he confessed
his gruesome deed.

"How could you do this?! I knew you were heartless but I never imagined you could
be this heartless. You sold me. I am still your stepdaughter, am I not? You
promised my mother you will look after me, but what have you done?!" Hindi
mapigilang sambit ko. My tears fell. He stood up and was about to walk away when I
wrenched his arm.

"Marrying my mother and gaining her wealth wasn't enough for you, was it? You want
to see me suffer. It makes you happy for some reason! You are evil! Wala kang puso!
Nobody in his right state of mind would sell a person to pay his debts. You are a
sick bastard!" Tinignan nya lang ako at nagdilim ang paningin nya.

Dinuro nya ako. "Will you shut your filthy mouth?! Oo! I married your mother for
money! You're also right when you said that I wanted to see you suffer! You're a
brat and you remind me of your father who happens to be my greatest opponent during
my adolescence! Plinano kong pabagsakin kayo! Pero hindi kasama sa planong kong
maghirap! This was unplanned! So just be a cooperative bimbo!"

Tinabig ko ang daliri nyang nakaturo sa mukha ko. "Ang sama sama mo! You will rot
in hell when you die, asshole! After all you've done to my family, you don't
deserve to die an easy death!"

He held my arms and tightened his grip. "Shut the hell up! Siguro naman ayaw mo
ring mapunta nalang sa iba ang pinaghirapan ng mga magulang mo diba? At ayoko
maghirap. Not again. Kaya makikisama ka at susunduin mo ang lahat ng gusto ko.."

His nails dug on my arm, making me wince. "Kung hindi, alam mo na siguro na pareho
tayo ng babagsakan. Sa putikan." He then let go of me and pushed me. Multik akong
mawalan ng balanse buti nakahawak ako sa arm rest.

Basang basa na ng luha ang mukha ko but who gives a damn? Tinignan ko siya ng
masama. "You disgust me! And I will never cooperate!" I spit on his face and that
seemed to anger him even more.

Hinatak nya ako at piniga ang balikat ko. I cried in pain but he did not let go. He
leaned forward to whisper something in my ear. "Ayaw mo? Well, I have my ways. Baka
gusto mong hindi mo na uling masilayang humihinga si Soling.."

My eyes bulged. I kicked and thrashed to be free from his grip. I scratched his
chest while sobbing. Wala siyang puso. Pano nya to nasisikmura?

"Halimaw ka! HALIMAW!" I was still kicking at nothing in particular. He laughed

like the heartless villain that he really is. Mataman nya akong tinignan. "So I
assume pumapayag ka na?"

I shut my eyes tightly and my heart sank in my rib cage. In a ragged voice, I
muttered. "Just please, leave Manang Soling out of this.." I begged. He nodded in
my direction. "Deal."

My tears are nonstop. Tinignan nya ako uli. "Siguraduhin mo lang na hindi ka gagawa
ng isang bagay na hindi ko magugustuhan. Kung hindi.." binitin nya talaga ang
huling pangungusap.

I nodded continuously, my sobs echoing on this gargantuan mansion. He snickered and

left. I felt so defeated. So utterly helpless.

I ran upstairs and locked myself in the confines of my room. There, I sobbed like
there's no tomorrow. I wanted to call Psyche or Theia. Or even Christian, but I
don't want their pity.

I don't want anybody's pity. Wala na akong mukhang maihaharap sa kanila. I used to
be somebody. But now, I am nobody. I had nothing but a damaged soul and a scarred
heart.

Namamaga na ang mata ko when I finally stopped crying. I decided to sleep. I was
awakened by a loud banging on my door. Alvido's voice was calling me.

"Mag-ayos ka. I'll be waiting downstairs. Do not disobey me, Cassidy." Monster! I
thought, I wanted to lie in bed again and cry until I cease to exist, but I know
how impatient Alvido is.

He might hurt Manang if I don't follow his orders. I can't let him hurt her. She's
the only family I have left. Siya nalang. I don't want to lose her. I sighed and
grabbed my towel.

After thirty minutes, I was already dolled up. I checked the wallclock and it says
that it's only 10:25 am. I went to the dining table where Alvido is and sat infront
of him. I kept my mouth shut.

Dalawang maid nalang ang nagseserve samin. I finished my food without starting a
conversation. Ng matapos siya ay sinenyasan nya akong sumunod sa kanya sa garahe. I
saw our almost empty garage. Dalawa nalang ang kotse, ang kotseng ginagamit ko at
ang lumang kotse nya.

He made me enter the car and he did too. He drove to somewhere. "Umayos ka. Today
you'll meet your buyer." Seryoso nyang sabi. I had no choice but to nod. Ano pa
bang magagawa ko?

"Sino siya?" I asked out of sheer curiousity. He eyed me on the rearview mirror.
"Makikilala mo rin bat di ka nalang maghintay?" Tumahimik nalang ako. He parked in
front of an unfamiliar building. We took the elevator.

Sinabi nya ang pangalan nya sa secretary nito na nasa desk at tumango ito at
sinabing pumasok na kami. Nasa tapat kami ng office. He pushed the door open.

I took a deep breath. This is it. Sumunod ako sa loob. There was a desk inside. May
swivel chair pero nakatalikod ito. My stepdad faked a cough to alert 'my buyer' of
our presence.

"We're here." Said Alvido in a tensed voice.

The swivel chair rotated and seated on it was the person I least expected. Nanlaki
ang mata ko at nanuyo ang lalamunan ko. Walang lumalabas na salita sa labi ko. I
was just looking at him.

Tumikim si Alvido at tumingin sakin. He gave me a look which meant 'don't humiliate
me'

"Y-you.." sabi kong hindi parin makapaniwala habang nakatingin sa lalaking nakaupo
sa swivel chair. He gave me a crooked smile and tapped his pen on the table.

Tinitigan niya ako sa mata bago muling nagsalita..

"I own you now."

8
"What did you do to your hair? I like it. You look more beautiful." He broke the
silence. Alvido left an hour ago. I looked at him, expressionless.

"Why did you buy me?" Tinanong ko siya. I was trying to maintain a cold tone but my
eyes gave me away. I feel so confused and hurt. Confused because I don't know why
he bought me, and hurt because I feel so unvaluable.

Feeling ko wala ng halaga ang pagiging tao ko, para akong bagay na ipinagbili
nalang. I can't deny that my heart is breaking in half right now. It hurts too damn
much that I'm worried it'll explode.

He met my stare and raised an eyebrow. "Why can't I? I'm a billionaire now, Cassi.
I can buy whatever I want or whoever I want whenever I want."

"Anong nangyari sayo Aaron?" I asked, pain evident on my face. His expression
hardened. "I became who you've always wanted me to be."

Umiling iling ako. "NO! That's not true, ginusto kong maabot mo ang pangarap mo na
makapagtayo ng sarili mong kumpanya. But I never wanted you to be the jerk that you
are now!"

He stood up from his chair and approached me. He clenched his fists and for a
second there I thought that he would punch the living daylights out of me. "Jerk?!
You call me a jerk? Hah! Eh ikaw? Ano ka? Anong tawag mo sa babaeng malandi? Whore.
Slut. You are a bitch!" He emphasized the last word.

I shook with anger and I slapped him. "D-don't you dare insult me! You have no damn
idea what I went through. You have no fucking idea what I had to do!" Hinawakan nya
yung kamay na pinansampal ko sa kanya.

He gave me a death stare. "Slap me again and I swear I'll fuck you real hard in my
office right now! That's what a whore like you want, right?"

Hinila ko ng marahas ang kamay ko. Naiyak ako. Ang sakit nya magsalita. Hindi nya
naman alam na lahat ng ginawa ko para rin sa kanya.

He never talked to me that way before. He always respected me. He didn't even
initiate sex because he respects the sanctity of marriage. But now...

Tinignan nya ako na parang nagulat dahil umiiyak ako. Before he could even react, I
stood up abruptly and ran outside his office. Lumabas ako ng building at patuloy na
tumakbo palayo habang umiiyak.

Ng hiningal ako ay tumigil rin ako. I took my wallet and checked the amount of cash
I have left. One thousand. Kinuha nga pala ni Alvido ang iphone at pera ko. He even
wants to sell my car. Wala naman akong magawa kaya kahit labag sa kalooban ko ay
pumayag ako.

I hailed a cab at nagpadala ako sa condo ni Theia. Nag three-day leave ito kaya
alam kong nandun sya ngayon. Binayaran ko ang driver at dali daling tumakbo papunta
sa condo. I knocked repeatedly and she opened the door.

"Sino ba-Cassi! What the hell happened?! Bakit ganyan ang itsura mo?!" She scanned
me from head to foot and worriedly hugged me.

I broke down right there and then. "I need your help Theia, please.."

She pulled me inside and closed the door. She made me sit on her plush pink sofa.
"Ano bang matutulong ko?"

I swallowed the lump on my throat. I fidgeted with my fingers because I don't know
how to say it. "Speak up, Cassi. Ano ba yon?"

I mustered every single bit of courage I have in my body then spoke in a sheepish
tone. "P-pwede ba akong mangutang ng 30,000?"

Her eyes widened in disbelief. "Ano?! Una sa lahat hindi ako makapaniwalang
mangungutang ka. Pangalawa, saan mo gagamitin ang pera?"

I had no time to explain so I gave her the three minute version of the story. She
was gaping at me when I finished telling her what had happened. She sat absent
mindedly on her chair while holding her head in shock.

"Are you kidding?!" She looked at me askance. I shook my head vehemently while
still on the verge of tears. She saw the truth in my eyes and immediately hugged
me. "Oh my god Cassi. Alvido's a devil! Pano nya yon nagawa sayo? Pano nila nagawa
ni Aaron to sayo?!"

I trembled beneath her warm embrace. She sniffed. "Tangina. Ang sama sama nila."
She muttered.

I wiped my tears and made a straight face. I was trying to look calm and collected
even though I felt a melee of emotions on the inside.

"Please Theia. I need money. Tatakasan ko sila. I don't want anybody to own me. I
want to be free." I begged. She looked sad but she nodded. "Wait for me."

Pumasok siya sa kwarto at pagkatapos ng ilang minuto ay bumalik siya dala ang isang
shoulder bag. "50,000 ang nandyan. Dinagdagan ko na. Kilala kita. Baka wala pang
isang linggo ubos na sayo ang 30,000. Magtipid ka." Paalala nya.

I hugged her and mouthed my thanks. "Take care Cassi." Ang lungkot ng itsura nya. I
bade my goodbye then hurriedly left her condo.

I don't know where to go. I hailed a cab again and told the cabbie to drive me to
the nearest bus terminal. Pagkababa ko sa terminal ay tinignan ko kung saan patungo
ang mga bus.

Sa Bicol pala. Albay, Naga, Sorsogon. Shit. Gagawin ko ba talaga to?! I made up my
mind. I'm doing this for my freedom. Tuloy tuloy akong naglakad papunta sa bus at
sumakay. I sat at the back and sighed.

Ang tagal mapuno ng bus, naghintay pa ako ng trenta minutos bago ito napuno.
Umugong ang bus, senyales na aalis na ito. Dahan dahan itong umandar paalis ng
terminal. Napagdesisyunan ko munang matulog ngunit may malakas na kumalampag sa
gilid ng bus.

Galit na sumigaw ang driver. "Hoy! Itigil mo yan!"

"I'll pay you ten thousand! Just give me a fucking ride!" I froze as I heard his
voice. Pati ba naman dito, Aaron?!

Napamura ako ng buksan ng konduktor ang pinto ng bus at pumasok ang hingal na
hingal na si Aaron. He scanned the bus and his eyes landed on me. He was looking at
me in a serious way.

Kinuha nya ang wallet nya at naglabas ng sampung libo na siya namang inabot nya sa
konduktor. Muling umandar ang bus. Nagbulung bulungan naman ang mga tao habang
nakatingin sa kanya.

Unti unti siyang lumapit sakin. My heartbeat accelerated. He was walking towards me
without breaking eye contact. Inabutan nya ng tatlong libo ang lalaking katabi ko
kaya tumayo ito.

He sat beside me. Nagiwas na ako ng tingin. "Bakit ba hindi mo nalang ako hayaang
umalis?" Puno ng hinanakit na sambit ko.

He sighed. "I won't let you leave me, Cassidy. Not again."

9
Halos lumundag ang puso ko sa narinig. Tinignan ko siya ng sinabi nya yon. He
looked away, so I did too. "Kahit anong gawin mo, hinding hindi ako babalik sa
Manila." Sabi ko pagkaraan ng ilang minuto ng katahimikan.

Without even looking at me, he answered. "Who says I'm taking you back to Manila?"

Nalilitong napamulagat ako. "What?! So bakit andito ka pa?"

Nun lang siya tumingin. His tone was undoubtedly serious. "Kung pupunta ka sa Bicol
then I'm coming with you."

Gulat na nanlaki ang mga mata ko. I sensed determination in his voice. Hindi ko
alam ang isasagot ko sa kanya kaya napapikit nalang ako. My thoughts drifted to our
break up four years ago.

"Aaron.." I called him and he turned. His face lit up upon seeing me. He bridged
the gap between us and gave me a smack.

"Hey chief! Namiss kita." Sabi nya. Napapikit ako ng mariin dahil nasasaktan ako
habang iniisip ang kailangan kong gawin.

I mustered all my courage before I finally spoke. "We have to talk." He noticed my
expression and fear flashed on his face. "C-cassidy, alam ko yang ganyang tono at
salita.."

Napayuko ako. He held my hands and pressed them. "Babe please don't tell me you're
b-breaking up with me. Tell me I have the wrong conclusion. C'mon tell me." His
voice was panicky.

I shook my head and my traitorous tears fell without my consent. "I-im sorry." My
voice stuttered. He hugged me real tight, he doesn't even seem to care that people
are watching. Nasa isa kaming park.

"No! Ayoko! Hindi ako papayag. Give me a valid reason Cassi! You can't just.. you
can't just break up with me!" He answered stubbornly while tightening his hug.
Pilit kong tinatanggal yung mga braso nyang nakayapos sakin.

Pero makulit siya at lalong hinigpitan ang yakap nya. "Aaron, I wish you could
forgive me.. but I fell out of love. H-hindi na kita mahal." Hindi makatinging
sambit ko sa kanya.

"Ayoko! Hindi ako papayag na iwan mo ko. We could work this out, please." Sabi nya
habang yakap parin ako. Unti unting nabasa ang balikat ko kaya napagtanto kong
umiiyak na siya.
And that seemed to double my pain. Parang sinasaksak ako ng paulit ulit. I don't
know how to react or what else to say. Syempre masakit din sakin to. But I have to
do this. Kinausap ako ng mama nya na pakawalan ko daw muna siya.

He wouldn't accept his father's offer to handle their company in New York because
he didn't want to be away from me. Itinago nya sakin yun. Nalaman ko lang ng
kinausap ako ng mama nya. She was begging me to let him go so that he could pursue
his lifelong dream to own a company.

I realized that I was the hindrance. I was the one keeping him away from fulfilling
that dream. I loved him so much that I decided to sacrifice my love for him.

"Babe please I'll do anything. Just stay by my side." He begged and knelt. Pilit ko
siyang itinatayo pero matigas ang ulo nya. Lumuhod siya sa harap ko at nagmakaawa.
"I promise I'll be good. Take me back. S-sasamahan na kita palagi magshopping.
Hindi na ko magiging masyadong possessive. Padadalhan kita ng bulaklak sa inyo araw
araw. Hindi ko na kakalimutang itext ka ng goodmorning at-"

Pinatigil ko siya. I forced myself to block the searing pain but I can't. It was
just too intense. "Wag mong gawin to sa sarili mo. A-ayoko na. At kahit anong gawin
mo hindi na yun magbabago."

He looked at me, pain plastered on his face. "Bakit? B-bakit Cassidy? Bakit?"
Paulit ulit nyang tanong. Tumalikod na ako at sinabi ang isang bagay na alam kong
pagsisisihan ko rin pagkatapos nito.

"I'm inlove with another man now, Aaron. Mahal na mahal ko siya at siya ang
pinipili ko."

At first he wouldn't believe that I have another man. He ran after me and begged me
to take him back. But I told him na mahal ko talaga yung lalaki. I lied to him once
more. Sinabi kong may nangyari na samin nung lalaki.

He went berserk and kicked the tree in front of him. Hindi ko na nakaya ang sakit
na nakikita ko sa mga mata nya ng panahong yun kaya tumakbo ako palayo. After a
week, nabalitaan kong umalis na pala siya.

He finally accepted his dad's offer. I was happy and sad at the same time. Palagi
akong pumupunta ng New York para lang tignan kung ano na ang nangyayari sa kanya. I
was always looking from afar.

"Why did you run away again? Akala mo ba matatakasan mo ko?" Pukaw nya sa atensyon
ko. Tumingin ako sa labas ng bintana. "Pano mo nalamang andito ako?" Walang
kaemoemosyong baliktanong ko.

"I followed you." He answered casually.

"Sana pinabayaan mo nalang akong umalis."

Inis na pumalatak siya. "Pano kung napano ka? At anong pumasok sa kukote mo at
papunta ka ng Daet?! Are you out of your mind?!" Galit nyang bulalas. I shot him a
death stare. "Why do you care?! I wanted to get away from you! Don't you
understand? I don't want to be owned by anyone!"

He looked at me and sighed after a few seconds. Sumandal sya sa headrest. "It's a
long ride. Matutulog muna ako. You should rest too." Pag iwas nya. He closed his
eyes.

I don't know how long I slept. But when I woke up, it was already dark. 6:30 pm na.
Nakita ko sa relo sa bus.

Si Aaron tahimik lang. Gising na rin siya. We were silent for the next four hours.
The bus stopped and I saw other passengers unmount. Tumayo na si Aaron. "Mukhang
andito na tayo." He announced. Tumayo narin ako.

I'm stuck with him. Pagkababa namin ay nagtanong tanong na siya kung saan may hotel
dito. Ngunit sa pagkadismaya namin ay malayo pa. 1 hour pa. He checked his clock.

"Shit. Gabi na. Magieleven na." He looked worried as he tugged my wrist. Nagtanong
tanong pa sya ngunit wala daw talaga.

"Sir, paupahan po meron ditong malapit." Napamura siya. We're all out of choices
kaya sinunod namin ang instruction nung napagtanungan namin.

Napadpad kami sa isang maliit na bahay at nagtanong si Aaron kung nagpapaupa ba

sila. Ng umoo ang matandang babae ay nagbayad si Aaron ng makapal na bungkos ng
pera bago ako hinatak sa katabing bahay. Maliit rin ito ngunit malinis naman.

Ng makapasok kami ay umupo siya at napasapo ng noo. "Matulog ka na. Pagod ka sa

byahe." Nakatayo parin ako sa harap nya na hindi nagsasalita.

"Let's not fight tonight. Just go to sleep." He instructed. Tumalikod na ako at

naglakad papunta sa isang kwarto ng marinig ko ang marahang boses nya na parang
nahihirapan na.

"And I want you to know, that I didn't buy you because I see you as an object.." I
stopped walking but I didn't turn.

He sighed. "I bought you, because I wanted to be with you."

10
Lumingon ako sa kanya bigla. He looked sad and defeated. "You want to be with me.."
My voice drifted off. He remained seated and he wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Why?" I asked. My heart was pounding. "What do you mean why?" He queried as I
slowly approached him.

"Why do you want to be with me?" I repeated my question. He was silent for a minute
or two. All I heard was heavy breathing.

After a long pause, he finally spoke. "Gabi na. Let's go to sleep." He changed the
subject. I decided to stop pressing him and just let the matter go. I sighed and
nodded. Before I entered the room, I looked back only to see him staring.

Our eyes locked. "Goodnight Aaron." He gave me a sad smile and answered,
"Goodnight, chief."

I closed the door behind me. Sumandal ako sa pinto habang naghuhuramentado ang puso
ko. Did he just call me using his endearment for me? Oh my god! Tinutop ko ang
bibig at nagtatalon. Dahilan para mabunggo ko ang maliit na mesang kahoy at mahulog
ang gasera sa ibabaw nito.

Shit! I heard Aaron's panicked voice. "Cassidy! What happened?! Are you okay?"

I breathed deeply. "O-oo. Okay lang ako. Natabig ko lang yung gasera."

"Teka, ayusin natin. Baka matapakan mo yan. Magkasugat ka pa." I opened my door and
he barged in. Kinuha nya yung iphone sa bulsa nya at inilawan ito. He gathered the
shattered fragments of the lamp and pushed it beneath my bed. "Dyan muna natin
ilagay. Walang basurahan sa bahay eh."

Tumango ako. "T-thanks." Umalis siya sa kwarto ngunit bumalik din dala ang isang
gasera na galing sa kwarto nya. "Use mine." Nilapag nya ito sa kahoy na mesa at
lumabas na. He even pulled the door close for me.

Napangiti ako ng wala sa oras. Nababaliw ka na Cassidy! Sigaw ko sa utak ko. And
for the first time in my life, ay masaya akong nakatulog sa matigas na higaan na
isa lang ang unan.

A knock awakened me from my deep slumber. "Manang Soling! I'm still sleepy." I
shouted and curled up into a ball. The knocking didn't stop so I decided to ignore
it.

"Cassidy, breakfast is ready. Bumangon ka na." My eyes flew open. Si Aaron?!

Memories rushed inside my head. Damn! Oo nga pala. We are in Bicol. Just the two of
us. Alone. Away from all the people who know us.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and opened my door. Gulat na napatingin siya
sakin. May mali ba sa mukha ko? I gave him a shy smile. "Uhm, goodmorning." I said
and walked towards the table.

"G-goodmorning. Kain na." He gulped uneasily as he sat infront of me. There were
bread and fried rice and tuyo. Wow. I've never eaten tuyo in so long. "San ka
nakakuha ng pagkain?" Nagtatakang tanong ko.

"Dumaan dito si Aling Pacing, yung may ari nitong bahay. Dinalhan nya tayo ng
agahan." Salamat sa ginituang puso ni Aling Pacing.

"Bilisan mong kumain, pupunta tayo sa mall. Kailangan natin ng damit." I looked at
him, wondering why he became nice to me when I attempted to leave. "Seryoso ka ba
talagang hindi mo ako pipiliting bumalik sa Manila?"

Nagtatakang tumingin siya sakin. "Nope. If you want to stay here then let's stay
here. Dito tayo pansamantalang tutuloy hanggang nandito tayo sa Bicol if this is
what you want.."

Napanganga ako sa sinabi nya. Is he really serious? He continued speaking. "I won't
bother looking for a hotel, naalala ko dati, four years ago. You told me you want
to experience living a simple life in the province. Eto na." He smiled at me and I
felt my heart jump a couple of times in my chest.

Wala sa loob na nayakap ko siya. "Thank you!" Masigla kong sabi. His body went
rigid so I let go. Nahihiyang nag iwas ako ng tingin. "A-ano pasensya na. I got
carried away."

"O-okay lang." Tinutok ko nalang yung atensyon ko sa pagkain. Ng matapos kami ay

pumunta kami sa pinakamalapit na puregold. He bought all the essentials. Mga
toiletries, gamit sa kitchen, sa sala. Ganun.

I was so happy. I feel like his wife and it made my heart swell with happiness.
"May gusto ka pa ba?" He asked. I nodded tapos tinuro ko yung isang malaking pack
ng nova.

He raised his eyebrow. "Junk food na naman? Hindi maganda sa kalusugan yan. It's
not nutritious." Paliwanag ni Father Aaron. "Ah okay." Walang ganang sagot ko at
mabilis na tumalikod.
Nabbwisit ako. Eh sa gusto ko ng Nova eh! Tss. Sama!

I heard him sigh and when I turned, I saw him picking the pack of nova on the rack.
He then transferred it into our shopping cart which is now overflowing. I grinned.
"Thank you Aaron!"

He rolled his eyes. "Tara na, babayaran ko na to." I happily followed him towards
the cashier. Binayaran nya ang mga ito. At dahil marami masyado ay anim na supot
ang pinaglagyan. Kinukuha ko sa kanya ang dalawang supot ngunit inis na tinapunan
niya lang ako ng tingin.

"Ako na. Just walk towards the exit." Pero dahil makulit ako ay pinilit ko paring
agawin sa kanya ang mga supot. "Stop it!" He commanded in a firm tone. Tumigil ako,
inis na naglakad siya pauwi sa bahay. Malapit lang naman kasi ang puregold samin.

I tailed him until we reached the house. He put the groceries atop the dining table
and locked the house door again. "Let's go buy some clothes. Natanong ko na kay
Aling Pacing kung pano makapunta sa SM mula dito."

I shook my head. Kumunot naman ang noo nya. "Ayoko sa SM. Try natin sa ukay para
tipid." Naalala ko nung bata ako, pag nagaaway si Dad at Mom ipapadala nila ako sa
Cavite kung san nandun si Grandma.

Simple lang at walang arte ang bahay nya. In fact, she even told me she didn't want
to experience my parents' luxury that's why she chose to live separately. She
wanted to live a humble life in Cavite.

Kapag nandun ako feeling ko normal akong tao. I wanted to experience being normal
again.

Disbelief was written on Aaron's face when I told him I don't want to buy clothes
at SM. "No fucking way." Alma nya.

"Bahala ka sa buhay mo. Basta ako dun ako bibili. You could go to sm and buy
yourself expensive clothes for all I care." Mataray kong pahayag at nagmartsa
patungo sa bahay ni Aling Pacing.

I knocked and the elderly woman opened her door and gave me a kind smile. "Ano
matutulong ko sayo?"

Nginitian ko rin siya. "Magandang umaga po. Saan po ba may talipapa dito?"

Binigyan nya ako ng direksyon at nagpasalamat ako. Aaron was following me. Inirapan
ko siya. "Oh akala ko ba gusto mo magSM? Arte." Simpleng buhay nga eh, tapos gusto
nya sa SM bumili ng damit. Anong simple dun?

He jogged to catch up. "Ito na nga eh. Sasama na sayo sa palengke oh."

Che! I contiued walking. Sa wakas, narating ko na ang talipapa. Sabi ni Aling

Pacing sa gilid daw may ukay ukay. Nakangiting pumasok ako rito at natanaw ko na
ang ukay.

Lumapit ako dito at nagsimula ng mamili ng damit. Napapalatak si Aaron mula sa

likod ko. "What the hell?! A shirt for forty pesos?! Is this place for real? What
kind of material do they use?"

Pinagtitinginan siya nung ibang namimili. I shot him a death stare. "Pumili ka
nalang pwede ba?" Naiinis na sabi ko. He grumbled. "Fine."
After twenty minutes ay nakapili na ako ng maraming damit. I bought clean undies
from a nearby store. Si Aaron din marami ng napili, kahit mukhang bwisit parin siya
dahil ang cheap daw mamili rito. I rolled my eyes. Ng makauwi kami sa bahay ay
magdidilim na.

We both collapsed on the hard bamboo sofa. I groaned. Si Aaron pumikit. Kapagod
lang. He checked his watch. "Magseseven o'clock na. Wala pa tayong dinner." He
muttered.

I stood up. "A-ako na magluluto." I volunteered. He knows I can't cook. But instead
of arguing, he nodded. He seems too exhausted to prepare dinner for the two of us.

Tumalikod ako at pumunta na sa kusina. "Cassidy.." I heard his sexy voice calling
my name from the living room.

"What?" I was actually waiting for him to say something sweet but what came out of
his mouth was..

"Please try not to burn the kitchen."

11
We took a quick bath before I prepared dinner. When I say we, I mean that we took a
bath at the same time but on different bathrooms. Umupo siya muli sa upuan sa may
sala and headed to the kitchen.

I fried spam. Yun nalang ang ulam namin. I don't want to try cooking a full meal,
it's too risky. Aaron's right. I might burn the kitchen. I called him after I'm
done preparing the table.

Hindi siya sumagot. Pinuntahan ko na siya sa sala at nakita kong nakatulog na pala
siya. Nakalungayngay ang ulo nya kaya inayos ko ito. I sat infront of him and
looked at his serene face.

"I love you Chief. Mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal kita." He gave me a smack every
time he said the word mahal. He cupped my face. "You mean the world to me. I don't
ever want to lose you."

Pumikit ako ng mariin to dispel the memory out of my head. Tinignan ko uli ang
mukha nya. I reached out to touch his face. I couldn't help it. I missed him. I
waited for this time to come for four agonizing years.

"I'm so sorry. I had to do it." I murmured. He shifted and I abruptly removed my

hand. He slowly opened his eyes and bore them on me. I immediately stood up and put
distance between us.

Hindi ako makatingin sa kanya. "Let's eat." He yawned and got up. He walked towards
the kitchen and I followed. We ate in silence. Nilagay nya yung mga pinagkainan
namin sa sink.

Tatalikod na sana ako upang pumasok sa kwarto when he grabbed my arm. I stared at
it for a moment. "Bakit?" I asked. "The sky is beautiful tonight. Stargazing?"

Wala naman sigurong mali kung papayag ako diba? Tumango ako at nagpatiuna na sa
paglabas. May isang mahabang kawayang sofa sa labas. We sat there and looked at the
ether. Stars littered the sky, spreading luminance and beauty above us.

"So, how was life while I've been gone?" I inquired while my eyes were still fixed
on the night sky. I sighed and played with the hem of the cheap fifty peso shirt I
was wearing.

"It was.." The sentence hung in the air. "..fine."

Fine. His life had been fine. I went through pain like hell because he wasn't with
me, and his life had been fine. Great. Just great. I feel the familiar attack of
pain but I forced it down. I have no right to feel this way, anyway. I was the one
who left him.

"Oh." I said in a small voice. The uncomfortable silence was defeaning. All I can
hear was the croaking of frogs in the distance and the rustle of leaves.

"Ikaw? Anong nangyari sayo? Last I checked, I fell in love with a nice timid woman.
And now, look at you." He said in an almost disgusted tone that pierced my heart.

"I was madly inlove with him. Pero kasi minsan sa buhay natin gumagawa tayo ng
desisyong kahit masakit ay para naman sa ikabubuti ng taong mahal natin. I was that
stupid." Malungkot na sabi ko. I just want to say those things. Ang hirap kimkimin.
He sighed. "You really love him huh?"

Hindi makapaniwalang tinignan ko siya. "A-anong ibig mong sabihing I really love
him?!" I was referring to him for pete's sake. He gazed at me with those piercing
eyes.

"Mahal mo talaga siya. Yung lalaking dahilan kung bakit mo ko iniwan. You really
love him to the point that you gave him your virginity.." Mahinang sabi nya na
nakapagpayuko sakin.

I wanted to shout at him. To tell him that he got it wrong. To say to him that it's
him I love! But I did not, my courage abandoned me. I don't want him to hate me
even more when he finds out.

I just nodded weakly. "Yeah. I loved him too much. Too much that I feared that this
love was destroying me."

"Let me guess, this guy you're talking about is the reason you rebelled, right?
Siya ba yung dahilan kung bakit nagbago ka?" He asked innocently. Again, I nodded.

I looked at the horizon, "Sa sobrang pagmamahal ko sa kanya, kahit wala na kami
pinabantayan ko siya. I hired a private investigator to report what he's doing
everyday. But guess what? I found out na nagkaron siya ng girlfriend. Simula non,
pinatigil ko na ang pagsspy sa kanya. Haha."

His eyes were transfixed on me and I couldn't help looking back at him. I saw a
myriad of emotions in his eyes. I smiled sadly. "I loved him to the point that I
lost myself trying to fix my broken heart."

Nagiwas siya ng tingin. "I hated you Cassidy. And I still do. I don't know if I can
still bury this hate I feel for you. I hate you but I can't deny the fact that I
want to be with you." Inis na sinabunutan nya ang buhok. He stood up.

I chased after him and held his arm and he stiffened. I spoke in a calm manner. "I
want you to know that I'm sorry I hurt you." I said in the sincerest tone I could
muster.

He turned and stared at my face. His face was illuminated by moonlight. "But you
don't seem sorry that you left me.." He pointed out.
"I'm not." I admitted. His muscles tensed. Tumingin ako sa malayo.

I'm not sorry I left him because I see how successful he is now. Because I see that
he was able to fulfill his ambitions. If I didn't leave, then I might've trapped
him in my cocoon of selfishness. Hindi ako nagsisisi dahil natupad nya naman ang
pangarap nya. He is who he has always wanted to be.

Hurt flashed in his eyes for a sliver of a second. "Yeah. I know. Nagkaron ka nga
ng iba diba?" He allowed one biting comment escape his lips. I loosened my grip on
him.

He turned his back on me and I felt my world crumbling all around me. On the day of
his flight to New York, I was there. Hiding in the middle of a huge crowd. And that
was the last scene I saw.

He was walking away with his back turned on the person who loves him more than
anything else in the world. He turned his back on me.

I watched, powerless and courageless as he took each step away from me. I watched
in utter sadness as I let him leave. He left knowing that the person he loves, is
inlove with another man.

He left, knowing that the person he loves does not love him back anymore. My tears
trickled across my cheek as my shoulder droop.

"I love you.." I mouthed.

Tila nagsikip ang dibdib ko, I can't let it happen again. I can't let him walk
away. I can't just let this moment pass. Pain grew intense inside me, I mouthed his
name. "Aaron.."

Hindi nya ko nilingon, he didn't even stop walking. He was about to turn the door
knob when I spoke in a trembling and nervous voice. "I want you to know that I
loved you and I s-still do.. and that none of my feelings for you changed.."

I waited for him to face me, and when he did, all I saw in his eyes were doubt and
anger.

He looked at me with so much hate that I wanted to run away. "Alam mo ba kung ano
tingin ko sayo Cassidy?"

Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. "Ano?" He smirked and gave me a cold stare.

Before he went inside, he dropped his answer. One word. Just one word. But it was
more than enough to crush my entire soul. And it stung.

"Liar."

12

Aaron still won't talk to me. Iniiwasan nya ako. Maliit na nga itong bahay
nagiiwasan pa kami. After breakfast, I decided to approach him. "Hey, talk to me."
He stared at me for a split second then turned his back on me again. I sighed.
"Aaron, bakit ba hindi ka naniniwala. I love you and I fucking mean it!"
I clutched his hand. "Why can't you feel it? Why do you have to be so dense? Why do
you have to constantly push me away?" I queried. He shot me an annoyed look.
"I am not pushing you away! You pushed me away! Remember? Four years ago, I begged
for you to take me back and what did you do? You drove me away from you. You told
me you didn't need me anymore!" He was gritting his teeth.
"Why can't we just bury the past behind us? How many times must we rehash this? How
many times must you rub that in my skin? How many times must you make me regret
what I did?" He regarded me as if I was a dirty laundry he was forced to fetch.
"How many times, you ask? Well, as many as I could! You don't love me! You are just
toying with my feelings because you know that you still have an effect on me!" He
punched the wall and grunted angrily.
In a low voice, he spoke. "You still have the same effect on me and I hate it. I
fucking hate it.."
I hugged him from behind. I could hear his rapid heartbeats. "I love you. P-please
believe me."
He harshly took my arms off him. "I will never. Naniwala ako sayo dati. And what
did I get in return?! A broken heart."
I let my tears fall, just like the clouds, water fell down from it. "Kelan mo ba ko
mapapatawad?"
He shook his head to signify that he doesn't know. I wiped my tears and tried to
smile. Sobra na akong mukhang tango. "I'll wait." Tapos pumasok na ako sa kwarto.
Pagkapasok na pagkapasok ko ay humulagpos na agad ang mga luha ko.
Humiga ako sa kama at tumingin sa kisame, hindi ko namalayang nakatulog pala ako.
Paggising ko ay hapon na. Lumabas ako at nakita kong nanonood ng tv si Aaron sa
sala. He looks preoccupied. Lumabas muna ako ng bahay para makalanghap ng sariwang
hangin.
Nginitian ako ni Aling Pacing."Oh, saan ang punta mo?"
"Maglalakad lakad lang po."
"Magingat ka." Tumango ako at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. May nadadaanan akong mga
batang naglalaro. Yung iba naman umaakyat sa puno ng pili.
Nakarating ako sa isang basketball court. May mga naglalaro. I'm a fan of
basketball kaya tinignan ko muna sila. Si number 14 magaling, at may itsura pa.
Napangiti ako ng maalala ko si Aaron.
Team Captain siya sa basketball team dati nung sa St. Therese pa kami nag aaral.
Lahat ng laban nya pinupuntahan ko. Gumagawa pa ako ng banner para sa kanya.
Yung feeling na kapag nakakathree points siya titingin sya sakin at kikindat.
Nakakakilig lang. There's this one time when their team won, he hugged me and
lifted my body high and kissed me fully on the lips. He twirled me around and I was
giggling while he was chuckling.
I sighed. Those were the days. Sana lang pala kung alam ko lang na magiging ganito
kami, sana pinadama ko na nun kung gano ko siya kamahal, kung gano siya
kaimportante sa aki-
"Ouch!" I exclaimed. Tumama yung bola sa ulo ko at napaupo ako sa damuhan dahil sa
lakas ng impact. There was a guy running towards me, si number 14 yata.
He offered me his hand and I took it. I used his weight for support, so that I
could stand firmly again. He sheepishly scratched his head and gave me an
apologetic smile. "Sorry miss. I was distracted kaya natamaan kita. I hope you can
forgive me."
Though it hurt, I smiled at him. "Okay lang yun. No serious injuries made, you need
not worry."
"Pasesnya na talaga. By the way, I'm Kiefer. What's your name?" Nilahad nya yung
palad nya and I shook it. "Uhm, I'm Cassidy."
He gave me a radiant smile. "Ngayon lang kita nakita dito, are you new here?" I
nodded.
"Tagadito ka pala." I said stupidly. Malamang Cassidy! Obvious naman diba? I
mentally scolded myself.
"Ah, hindi. Taga manila ako pero bumibisita ako dito once a month dahil dito
nakatira parents ko." Oh. Yun naman pala.
Napahawak siya sa batok nya and he uneasily rocked on his heels. "Mamaya may laban
kami dito. Liga. Nood ka ha?"
"Uhm, I-" I was suddenly cut off by a voice who seems to be coming from behind me.
"Of course she'll be there. Papanoorin nya ako maglaro eh. Diba babe?" Sabi ni
Aaron na ngayon ay nakikipagsukatan na ng tingin kay Kiefer. Aaron possessively put
his arm around my waist.
"Talaga? Makakalaban kita?" Tanong ni Kiefer at matapang na tumango si Aaron. "Are
you deaf?" He asked irately.
Kiefer chuckled. "Chill bro." Aaron raised an eyebrow. "How can I chill when you
are hitting on my girl?"
Natameme lang ako habang nagpapalitan sila ng maanghang na salita. Shit. I couldn't
interject because they were so engrossed.
"Ang dami mong dada, pare. Let's just see how well you play in court. Goodluck."
With that, Kiefer patted his back and jogged towards his other teammates.
Inis na nagbaling sakin ng tingin si Aaron. "Hindi mo lang ako kasama nakakita ka
na agad ng pamalit? I thought you love me?"
"I thought you didn't believe me?" I shot back and he groaned in frustration. "So
it wasn't true. All you said back at the house, all of those were lies."
I gave him a death stare. "Of course not, stupid. At bakit mo sinabing kasama ka sa
maglalaro mamaya? You lied to the guy just because you were insecure." I accused
but he just looked at Kiefer's retreating back with hate.
"Maglalaro naman talaga ako mamaya. Kinuha ako nung asawa ni Aling Pacing."
Nanlaki yung mata ko. "So, maglalaro ka talaga?!" He rolled his eyes. "Do I really
need to repeat what I've just said? Oo nga diba?"
I wowwed. It's been years since I last saw him play basketball. And I kind of miss
the feeling of being nervous about the outcome of his game. I smiled. "Anong
nginingiti ngiti mo dyan?" Masungit nyang tanong.
I just held his hand and pulled him towards the house. "Teka baka madapa ako!" He
complained petulantly.
Ng makarating kami sa bahay ay hingal na hingal kaming dalawa. I was grinning.
Tinignan nya ako na para bang naloloka na ako. "What's wrong with you?" Tanong
nyang nagtataka parin.
"Nothing." I answered while still trying to catch my breath.
"Bat ba nagmamadali kang makauwi?" He peevishly inquired.
I just grinned and answered, "Basta!"

13
"Oh, ito. Jersey mo. Buti meron pang spare sa bahay." Mang Carding-Aling Pacing's
husband-handed Aaron the blue and white jersey. Aaron stared at it for a moment and
instantly a frown materialized on his face.
"Una na ako ha. Galingan mo mamaya iho." I smiled at him and muttered my thanks. He
exited the house and I heard the door close with a loud thud. When I turned, I saw
Aaron still holding and frowning at the jersey.
"What's wrong?" Hindi ko napigilang itanong. His eyes shot up as he met my gaze.
There was a hint of confusion in his eyes. He held up the jersey. "Oh, what about
it?" I asked, hoping that he would give me a direct answer.
He tsked and spoke, "Bakit BREEZY BOYS ang pangalan ng team? Fuck. These people are
nuts."
--
Hindi parin maalis sa mukha ni Aaron ang iritasyon ng isoot nya ang jersey. I
wanted to laugh my freakin' ass off but I don't want to offend him. "It looks..
okay." I commented.
"Shut up. I hate it. I'm not a breezy boy."Naiinis nyang pahayag. Tila ba diring
diri siya sa soot nya. I let out a chuckle. Damn, he looks adorable!
"Yung team nung Kiefer na yon, Jaguars. Tapos eto breezy boys?! What kind of sick
joke is this?" He caterwauled.
"Whatever Aaron. Stop bellyaching. Pumunta ka na don, kanina ka pa pinapatawag ni
Mang Carding." Tinaasan nya ako ng kilay. I did the same. Akala nya naman.
"Hindi mo ba ako sasamahan?" He queried, brows creased as usual. I shrugged. "Nah.
You're old enough to go there alone. I'm sure you won't get lost." I uttered.
He shot me daggers. "What I mean is, hindi mo ba papanoorin ang laro? Don't you
wanna watch me whip that arrogant Kiefer's butt?" Why does he act this way? Weirdo.
Moody pa.
"Stop acting like a jealous boyfriend, Aaron Ceyx Monteverde. Just go. Malate ka pa
sa laban nyo." If only he knows how much energetic my heart is right now. It keeps
on jumping up and down at the thought of him being jealous when it comes to me.
Aghhh. Mahirap mang aminin ay kinikilig ako, syet. He rolled his eyes on me and
walked towards the door. He held the door knob and was halfway through when he
spoke.
Nagdilim ang mukha nya. "What's mine is mine alone. I am territorial, Cassidy. I
hate trespassers."
--
"Aling Pacing! Coast clear!" Malakas na sigaw ko pagkaalis ni Aaron. Nagmamadaling
lumapit sakin si Aling Pacing at inabot ang kartolina at pentel pen. Ito ang
dahilan kung bakit hinila ko agad siyang pauwi kanina.
I need to make a banner for him. I remember what he told me just a while ago. I
shook my head in confusion. Si Aaron talaga kahit kelan. Ang galing manggulo ng
isip. Territorial? Trespasser? Huh. Abno talaga yun.
Tinapos ko na ang banner ko, tada! It may not look pretty and presentable but at
least I exerted effort. Excited na tinungo namin ni Aling Pacing ang court.
Kakasimula lang nung game. Ang daming tao, syet. Makita pa kaya ni Aaron tong
banner ko.
Hinawi ni Aling Pacing ang mga nanonood para makadaan ako. Aaron is in the court.
He looked grim. Parang may dalaw ang loko. Hindi pa nya ako nakikita, pero nandito
na ako sa harap. 6-7 ang score. In favor of the opponent.
Iunfolded the cartolina ang shouted. "Go Aaron!!!" Kulang nalang mapatid ang litid
ko sa leeg para lang marinig nya ako, and success! He looked at my direction, and
in that sliver of a second, I saw his expression change.
His features softened, and the frown left his face when he read the banner. Our
eyes locked and he grinned. I gave him the okay sign to tell him that he's doing
good.
(Author's note: Just a random fact, guys. The okay sign, is originally the sign of
a phallus, according to Dan Brown. In short, it's the representation of a dick.
LOL)
Nagkainitan ng laban nungthird quarter. Lumamang ng three points ang BREEZY BOYS
dahil sa three points ni Aaron. The crowd roared and went wild. I raised my banner
frantically and shouted encouragements.
He looked towards me and winked. Omg! Omg! Omg! Totoo ba yon? Tell me it's true!
Please don't say that I'm being delusional again! Ehhh! Parang pinagbubuhol buhol
ang bituka ko sa sobrang kilig.
Para akong isang isdang inalis sa tubig, isang bulateng binudburan ng asin. Gusto
kong mangisay sa kilig!!! Natatawa ko sa sarili ko, I act like a smitten teenager.
I mentally giggled.
Fourth quarter na. This is it! Lumamang na naman ang kalaban ng 5 points. Kaya pa
yang habulin, sabi ko sa isip ko. Kiefer was playing like a crazed animal. Halimaw
siya sa court, he was really good. But Aaron is too, and I haven't switched sides
yet.
Aaron will always be the best player for me. Always.
The last minutes were a blur, 72-73 ang score. 10 more seconds. The ball was in
Aaron's hands. "Monteverde, make me proud!" I screamed. He eyed me and gave me a
smile. Dang it. My heart is melting in puddles, wah!
You can do it. C'mon baby. Shoot it. My heart was doing a harlem shake inside my
body. I looked at him and saw the concentration in his eyes. He looks really
determined to win this thing.
He took aim, and woosh. He sent the ball sailing into the air.
Come on. Come on.
I watched the ball flying in the air. And I saw the fault in his throw. He lost
focus at the last minute and the ball.. bounced off the ring.
"Oh, fuck." I palmed my face. I heard the crowd cheer. They were shouting,
rejoicing. Narinig ko narin ang boses ng announcer. "And the victory goes to
Jaguars!" The crowd roared in approval.
I instantly dropped my banner and ran to Aaron when I saw his shoulder's droop
dejectedly. I stopped abruptly when Kiefer approached. He offered his hand, "Nice
game, pare. Well-played."
Aaron slapped his hand away and gave him a look of utter distaste. "Ang akin ay
akin lang." He gave emphasis on each word.
Kiefer chuckled and held his hands up, "Okay, fine. No need to be all rough on me.
Possessive." He pointed out. Aaron continued shooting him daggers while watching
his retreating back.
I walked ever so slowly towards him. He noticed my presence and turned to face me.
He looks disappointed about the way the game ended. "Hey, it's okay." I tried to
cheer him up. I patted his back.
"It's not. I can't believe our team lost!" He retorted with an angry tone. I
sighed. "You can't always win every fight, you know? Sometimes you win, sometimes
you lose." I explained. Pinunasan ko siya ng bimpo sa mukha.
He was watching me intently. I acted as if I wasn't bothered at all. But truth is,
naghuhumiyaw na ang lahat ng cells ko sa katawan. He grabbed my wrist to stop me
from wiping his face with the mini towel I was holding.
He was still gazing at me. Tutunawin nya ba ako? Hindi ko na kaya makipagtitigan sa
kanya, I looked away. He was still holding my wrist. He heaved a sigh. "Asan yung
banner?"
"B-banner?" Nauutal kong sagot. "Oo yung banner. Where did you put it?" Tinuro ko
kung san ko iniwan and upon seeing that it was being stepped on, he raced towards
it and snatched it away. He scoffed at the people stepping on it.
He returned with it, he regarded it with amusement. "I like it. Is this true?"
Tanong nya habang binabasa ang sinulat ko dun.
I nodded shyly. He chuckled and held it up. "Go Aaron ikaw ang-" dali dali kong
tinakpan ang bibig nya. Inirerecite nya lang naman ang nilagay ko sa banner!
Nakakahiya! Natatawang inalis nya ang kamay ko.
Ng magsalita siya ay lalo nyang nilakasan ang boses nya. Namumula na ako sa hiya
dahil kinakantyawan siya ng teammates nya. Nagtakip ako ng tenga para hindi marinig
ang pagrecite nya dito, pero no use. His voice was irritatingly loud.
"GO AARON! IKAW ANG JIMMY ALAPAG NG BUHAY KO!" Ulit pa ng isang mapang asar nyang
teammate. Ugh! Sana bumukas ang lupa at lulunin ako. Hiyang tumalikod nalang ako at
akmang aalis ng hugutin ni Aaron ang braso ko.
"Oops. Escaping again?" Nanlolokong tanong nya. Inirapan ko nga. Bwisit!
Nakakahiya! He grinned and pulled me in for a hug.
I'm hyperventilating!!! Ano ba to! Why do you have to make me feel this way,
Aaron?! Ugh.
He mumbled on my ear. His voice was so husky and sexy that I found it so
hypnotizing.
"Will you let me be your Jimmy Alapag for life?"

14

"Oh, andito na pala si Jimmy Alapag eh." Natatawang sabi ni Kuya Toto. Teammate
siya ni Aaron sa breezy boys. Nagtawanan sila ng mga kasama nya habang si Aaron
naman ay nakakunot-noong lumapit samin.

"Anong ginagawa mo dyan?" Nakataas ang kilay nyang tanong. "Nakikipagkwentuhan,

masama?" He rolled his eyes in annoyance and grabbed my arm. "Hey!" I protested.

"Umuwi na tayo." He said through gritted teeth. "Okay, okay. Calm the fuck down."
Kung kanina ay sweet sya sakin dahil sa paggawa ko ng banner, ngayon naman ay para
siyang leon na gustong manakmal.
Nagpaalam ako ng matino kay Kuya Toto, habang tinanguan lang sila ni Aaron bago
nagpatiuna umuwi. I jogged to catch up. "Ano bang problema mo?" I snatched his arm
which is bad idea because he looked at my hand balefully.

"Umuwi na tayo." He repeated before taking off my hand and taking huge steps
towards the house. I sighed and followed him. Ng makapasok kami sa bahay ay
ibinagsak nya pasara ang pinto.

"WHAT THE HELL CASSIDY! Gusto mo bang marape?! 6 pm na hindi ka pa pumapasok sa

bahay! Kailangan ba talagang sunduin ka pa sa labas?!" He kicked the nearby
monoblock.

My eyebrow shot up. "I was just making friends, Aaron. For fuck's sake!"

He massaged his temples before looking at me. "You're not allowed to make friends."

"What?! Who are you to tell me that?! Who gave you the right to tell me what to do
and what not to do?!" My voice had a slight hint of anger in it. The nerve of this
guy!

"I bought you, remember?"

And that did it. My world came crashing down on me again. I laughed sadly. "Oo nga
pala. You bought me. You own me. Wala akong karapatang suwayin ka o galitin ka o
kung ano man. Because I am nobody now. I don't even own my life anymore."

His features softened. He tried to reach out for me but I backed away. "I'm tired.
I'll go ahead and sleep. Goodnight." I told him ever so calmy as I turned my back
and headed towards my room.

Before my hands could even touch the knob, he twisted my body. I looked away,
averting his gaze. He sighed and tucked the loose strands of hair falling on my
face. "Cassi, look. I'm sorry."

"Okay lang. You're right anyway. Binili mo ko, wala akong karapatang kwestiyunin
ka." He held my chin, I shut my eyes real tight. Ayokong tignan siya sa mata,
because I know that my anger will melt. It always does. My heart always softens
with just one touch from Aaron Ceyx Monteverde.

His arms wrapped around me and I felt the familiar surge of warmth. "I.. I just
want to go to sleep." I spoke, stuttering.

He shook his head and whispered. "No one's sleeping tonight."

He leaned forward and our lips met. He was kissing me passionately. All the cells
in my body are shouting, telling me to stop.

But why would I? I love the feeling of his lips on mine. It tasted like all the
good things on earth. It tasted like marshmallow and love. Adoration and melted
chocolate. It's been such a long time since I've last tasted his lips.

And the mere thought of someone else kissing him breaks my heart in half. I savored
it. He bit my lower lip and I groaned. His tongue delved inside my mouth and I
didn't stop it. There wasn't even a single bit of resistance. God, he's driving me
insane.

My back was on the wall and his hands are on my hips then on my back and-

"Oh, dammit." He sexily said as he sucked air. His breath tingled and my skin was
burning.

I thought the kiss was over but he seized my lips again. His hand moved from my
waist to my mounds. He massaged it and I can't help but appreciate how skillful his
hands were. He put his hands under my blouse and palmed my breasts and I just can't
help but moan. It was so so good and I wanted him to touch me more.

He opened my bedroom door for me and laid me on the bed. He stared at me with
longing and sadness and other weird emotions I can't identify. It was all there,
swirling in his expressive eyes and I was nothing but a spectator.

"Raise your arms up, babe." He murmured.

Dang it, how can I resist his persuasive voice? I did as I was told and he removed
my shirt and off my body it went. I heard the lock on my brassiere click and it
seemed to slap me back to my senses. I want this. And I want him. But I'm not sure
about anything, about myself, about doing this.

"Aaron, I.. I-Stop. We need to-" I couldn't even form a complete sentence. He
bridged the gap and planted his lips on mine. And once again, I was drowned in this
sweet sensation. My rational thoughts unraveled themselves as his lips moved
against mine. It was good and it was great and I am at loss for adjectives once
again.

I do not know what's right and what's wrong anymore. Or maybe I do, but I just
don't want to do the right thing. Because there is a certain fulfillment when you
give in to something that seems so wrong and downright inappropriate.

Stupid! My brain yelled.

Cherish this moment. My heart mumbled.

I put my arms around his neck and clung to him. I clung to him as if I was falling
off a cliff and he was the only tree branch I could hold on to.

My bra fell on the side of the bed but I don't care anymore.

Nothing else matters right now, I thought. Just this. Just us.

He sucked on my left crown as if he was a hungry baby while massaging the other
one. He lightly bit my nipple as if teasing me. I can't help but moan and call his
name. He moved to the other pebbled peak and licked it, his tongue lashing back and
forth. He gave my two mountains fleeting kisses while his hands caressed my bare
stomach.

He removed my shorts along with the last piece of clothing I have left, the last
piece of decency in my body flew out the window, along with my doubts and anxiety.
I was naked and he stared at me as if I was a sumptuous meal.

I felt shy all of a sudden.

But there were no lights so I know that he couldn't really see it clearly and that
seemed to lessen my sheepishness a bit. I put my hands on his chest and discovered
that he has already removed his top, along with his shorts. I played with his
nipple and he groaned. My hands touched his abs and his chest, his neck and his
strong muscular arms, his cheek and his lips. I want to feel him. I want him to
feel me.

"You have no idea what you do to me." He breathed unevenly. He cupped my face and
kissed me fervently and hungrily like he wanted me, like he loved me. And just this
once, I let myself pretend. I pretended that my love was reciprocated, that he was
doing this because he wanted to not because his body wanted mine.

I felt his bulge on my core and I gasped. Damn. It turns me on. I fell silent and
he did too. He got rid of his underwear. With that tiny piece of clothing now
removed, I felt galvanized and shy at the same time. I bet that my face looks like
a tomato right now.

He kissed my stomach and placed his face in between my legs. I threw my head back
as I shivered when he kissed my now wet entrance. He looked up and looked at my
face and smiled. He smiled before he licked me.

"Oh my God, Aaron!"

"Shh, I'm trying to pleasure you." He said before his tongue ravished my flesh. He
kept on licking me and I held myself back from screaming. My chest was heaving, I
couldn't control ny excitement. I feel hot and feverish. He winked at me before
putting one finger inside.

I closed my eyes as I let his finger do its magic. In and out, his finger went.
"Aaron, aahhh! Ahh, oh my!"

He assaulted me faster and my toes curled because of the unexplainable feeling.

"Ahhh! I'm c-close." I felt my vaginal walls contracting and he immediately
withdrew his hand and I gaped at him, suddenly frustrated.

I felt like I was dropped from cloud nine. He chuckled before putting the finger
inside his mouth. He licked it clean and released it with a pop. My mouth dropped
open because of shock. My cheeks heated up and he ignored that.

He positioned himself on my wet sex and I closed my eyes. His hands were supporting
his weight as he slowly eased himself on me.

This is gonna hurt.

I closed my eyes tightly and dug my nails on his back when he impaled himself on my
flesh. "Ahhh, fuck!" I shouted, tears falling rapidly down my cheeks. My hymen
broke and the feeling was excruciatingly painful. It hurt and I couldn't control
the tears that escaped my eyes. It stung and I can feel the pain on every fiber of
my being.

His body stiffened and he was suddenly immobile. He was looking at me as if he

couldn't believe that I was a virgin.

"C-cassi..." His face softened and he tried to wipe my tears but I shook my head.

"Please... Continue." I coaxed as I moved under him, it hurts! I whimpered and he

quickly kissed my sweaty forehead.

"I'll be gentle, I'm so sorry." He mumbled. He moved inside me and after a few
minutes, the pain was replaced with pleasure. He thrusted in and out of me and he
was gritting his teeth while sweat sparkled on his body. "Fuck! Ahhh, ahh, ahhh!"
He said with each intrusion. And I welcomed him.

He quickened his movements and I copied him. The whole room was filled with our
moans. "Ahhh, Cassidy!!!" He screamed my name when he was near climax. I held onto
him, I can feel the zenith. And with one final hiss, I exploded. Aaron kept
pounding me while I feel weak, all energy left me. And then I felt it, Aaron's hot
liquid was oozing inside me. "Ahhh." He moaned before pulling himself out of me and
collapsing next to me. He closed his eyes and tried to even out his breathing.

I was catching my breath. I pulled the blanket towards my body, napapikit ako.

You just gave yourself to him. Ang tanga mo. My brain said once more. But I felt no
regrets. I enjoyed it. I felt like a woman. I was able to prove my purity. I gave
it to him because I wanted to.

Aaron was silent. Baka tulog na. Ang mga lalaki daw pag pagod madaling makatulog
eh. "Gising ka pa ba?" I asked. What a stupid question, I thought to myself.

I received no response. Tulog na nga siguro. I sighed. I just did it with him. I
stared at his back. Nakatalikod kasi siya sakin eh. He wasn't moving. I remember
his face when I told him I gave myself to another man to convince him that I don't
love him anymore. Mukhang diring diri siya sakin nun. Para bang ayaw niya na akong
lapitan. Madumi na daw kasi ako. And that hurt but I accepted it. Because I was a
masochist, because I believed that hurting him was the only way to save him.

I felt the side of my eyes grow hot, and fresh tears came streaming down my face.
"I'm sorry." I muttered absent mindedly. Hindi nya na rin naman maririnig eh. He
was fast asleep and he wouldn't react. And I saw this as a chance to confess
everything. Because I don't have the courage to admit the things I did when he's
awake. Duwag kasi ako. Natatakot akong lalo siyang magalit dahil mahina ako at
nagdesisyon ako para sa kanya. Natatakot ako kasi baka mawala siya uli sa akin
kapag nalaman niya ang totoo. I wept.

"Nung sinabi ko sayong may iba akong mahal, I lied. I lied to you. Feeling ko kasi
ako yung hadlang para matupad mo mga pangarap mo eh. So I said those things so you
would hate me. Para sumama ka sa New York. Para iwan mo ako at magpursige ka sa
pag-abot sa bagay na talagang gusto mo. I wanted you to stay but I also wanted you
to chase after that dream so I hurt you, I hurt you so bad Aaron and I'm sorry.." I
cried.

I sniffed. "I never really left. I followed you there. I was always watching you
from afar. Kasi kahit pinakawalan na kita, hindi ko parin kayang tuluyang bitawan
ka." Mukha akong tangang nagsasalita pero wala akong paki. Gusto ko lang ilabas
lahat ng sakit sa puso ko.

"I love you, Aaron... And I'm so sorry that I hurt you." Tumalikod na ako,
magkatalikuran kaming dalawa. I was still crying but I wiped my tears. Itutulog ko
nalang to. Bahala na bukas. Nanginginig ang mga balikat ko habang tahimik na
humihikbi.

I was about to close my eyes when I felt Aaron put an arm around me.

I froze.

Gising siya?! My heart pounded.

Ifhe was still awake then he heard all those! Damn it. Napapikit ako ng mariin.

He pulled me towards him and snuggled me. He buried his face on my neck and tears
fell from my face again. What I'd give to be in Aaron's arms forever.

"I love you too, Cassidy."

15
Ng magmulat ako ng mata ay wala na akong katabi, ang sakit ng katawan ko. Para
akong nabugbog. I pulled the blanket towards my body. I stood up from the bed.
"I love you too Cassidy." Shit! It replayed on my mind again. Erase! Bumilis na
naman ang tibok ng puso ko. I shook my head while a smile was threatening to appear
on my lips.
My eyes widened when I saw the red stain. Kailangan ko na tong palitan!
Nagbihis ako agad ng malinis na damit. Wala na sa kwarto yung mga damit ko kagabi.
Asan na yun napunta? I changed the bedsheet and discarded the old one. Ang sakit ng
down there ko.
Lumabas ako ng kwarto, Aaron wasn't in the living room. Tinignan ko sa kitchen pero
wala din naman. Baka lumipat sa kwarto nya yun at dun tinuloy ang tulog. I blushed
when I remembered what happened last night.
I decided to go outside to have some fresh air. I opened the door and relocked it
after going out. Maglalakad na sana ako papunta kila Aling Pacing ng may marinig
akong lagaslas ng tubig sa likod bahay. Huh?
Naglakad ako patungo ron. I froze when I saw Aaron sitting in front of a bucket of
water while scrubbing my..
Panty ko ba yung kinukuskos nya?! My cheeks flushed as I snatched it away from him.
"Hey wha-Cassidy? Gising ka na pala? Goodmorning." Gulat na sabi nya.
Namumula parin ang pisngi ko. "Why do you have my underwear?!" I demanded. He
knitted his brows. "Nilalabhan ko, obviously." He answered casually.
"Hindi ka marunong maglaba!" I pointed out and he tilted his head and regarded me
with an amused expression. "That's why I'm trying. Ang aga mo magising hindi pa ako
nakakapagluto ng almusal natin."
I was still looking at him askance, siya maglalaba? Unbelievable. "Give me that
Cassidy. I'm not yet done with it." He smirked while raising an eyebrow.
My cheeks turned red. "No! Manyak! I hate you!" He chuckled. Seriously? What's so
funny? I shot him a death stare. "It's not like we haven't done it yet." Kailangang
ipaalala?!
I ran inside the house and hung my underwear on the tiny wire inside my room.
Napiga ko na ito. Nakakahiya talaga. Yung Aaron na yon talaga. Lumabas ako ng
kwarto and saw him grinning.
I frowned. "What's wrong with you? Saya mo ah." I commented. He shrugged and headed
towards the kitchen to prepare breakfast for us. There was a loud knock on the
door. It was followed by Aling Pacing's shrill voice. "Tao po."
I opened the door and greeted her. She smiled at me. "Magandang umaga, iha."
"Magandang umaga rin po. Tuloy po muna kayo." She shook her head. "Hindi na
Cassidy. Gusto ko lang naman imbitahin kayo ni Aaron mamaya sa bahay. Dadating kasi
ang anak ko na galing sa Estados Unidos. Saluhan nyo kami sa hapagkainan."
May anak pala sila. Akala ko ay silang dalawa lang mag-asawa. "Sige po, sasabihan
ko po si Aaron."
"Salamat, anak. Aasahan ko kayo mamaya." Nginitian nya ako at umuwi na sa kanila.
Sinarado ko ang pinto at bumalik sa kusina. Nagluluto ng sinangag si Aaron. "Who
was at the door?" He questioned.
"Aling Pacing. Dun na daw tayo magdinner sa kanila mamaya dahil dadating ang anak
nya from US."
"Okay." Tinuloy nya lang yung ginagawa nya. Silence embraced us. I sat at the
plastic stool while staring at his back. He finished in a couple of minutes. He
transferred the fried rice in a huge bowl and started frying bacon and eggs.
Naalala ko kagabi, umamin ako sa kanya. I even told him I love him. And he answered
with an I love you too. Hindi kaya imagination ko lang yung part na yon?
Hallucination? Was I being delusional again?
Hindi pa namin pinaguusapan yung kagabi, and I can feel that he's evading the
topic.
Hinango nya na yung bacon and egg sa kawali at nilagay sa isang plate. "Let's eat."
I stared at him for a second too long and he frowned in return. "Kanina ka pa
lutang, is there something wrong?"
I shook my head. Inilapit ko yung stool na inuupuan ko sa mesa. He set the table.
"Cassi, is there something wrong?" He reached out to hold my hand.
"Wala. I'm okay. May iniisip lang ako." I assured him. He doesn't look convinced.
He stood up from his chair and scooted closer. "Look, if this is about last night-"
"This is about last night." I admitted and sighed. I started fidgeting with my
fingers. I don't know what to feel ot how to react when I'm around him anymore. I
just want to make sure that last night wasn't just a dream.
I want him to tell me he loves me. I want him to make my doubts vanish.
He cupped my face but I averted my gaze. "Cassidy, if you're bothered because
something happened between us then pananagutan kita. Don't worry. I wont apologize
for what happened last night, because I'm not feeling even a bit sorry about it.
Last night was the most wonderful night in my life." He said, sincerity dripping
from his voice.
My heart would've gone crazy, but I did not hear the three words eight letters from
him. I looked into his eyes and saw mixed emotions. "Cassi, pananagutan kita." He
said, so softly that it almost made my eyes water.
Umiling iling ako. "No, Aaron. I'm not requiring you to marry me just because you
screwed me last night. I enjoyed it too, but I am not forcing you into a
commitment."
He knitted his brows. "What is wrong with you? You aren't forcing me! Ako nga ang
nagsabi diba? I said pananagutan kita! Why the hell are you saying those things?!"
He rose, frustrated all of a sudden.
"I don't want you to feel obligated to marry me! You don't understand!" I shouted.
He grunted and kicked the wall. "I told you I will marry you not because I should,
but because I want to! It's you who don't understand! I love you and I don't want
to fucking lose you! Not again, Cassidy. Not again!"
My anger melted. I fell silent. The kitchen was filled with our heavy breathing. "I
love you so much that I can't handle even the thought of you leaving me." he
continued.
I was taken aback by his confession. "A-akala ko gawa gawa lang ng isaip ko yung
pag I love you mo kagabi.. At hindi mo naman binubuksan yung topic na yun kaya
akala ko naimagine ko lang." Nahihiyang napatingin ako sa sahig.
Shit. It was real. I wasn't hallucinating. My heart did basic cheerleading leaps
inside my body.
I felt his arms around me. He kissed the top of my head. "It wasn't a dream, okay?
I love you." Ulit nya. His voice was gentle and tender again. Para tuloy gusto kong
umiyak. I hugged him too.
"I know you heard everything I said last night. But still I want to tell you that
I'm sorry for leaving you.." I spoke.
He sighed. "Maaga akong nagising kanina, I was thinking about the things you said.
I wanted to hate you for doing that, for being too nice to the point that you
sacrificed our love for my success, for sewing lies just so I could achieve my
lifelong dream. I wanted to hate you for that, but I can't. For the last four years
Ive lived with this emptiness and hatred for you, but I can't bring myself to be
angry now that I've heard your reason."
I smiled a sad smile while my tears are threatening to fall. "I missed you." I
mouthed. He wiped my tears and kissed my nose. "I missed you too. I missed this. I
missed us."
I was about to kiss him when I remembered something. "You had a girlfriend at NYC.
That's why I stopped going there to see you." Pumunta ako dati sa building nya and
I saw him leaving with another woman. "My private investigator said that her name
was Aliya Suarez. And that she's your girlfriend."
He pouted. "Mom saw how depressed I was so she started matchmaking me with
different girls. I liked Aliya, but I love you. She asked me to give our
relationship a shot so I did. But it never worked out. I was way too inlove with
you. We broke up after a month."
Tinignan ko yung mata nya, and I swear, he was telling the truth. I cupped his
face. "I love you too." I answered.
He smiled and kissed my lips. "Can we start over again?"
And without any doubts, I nodded.
16

"Are you hungry?" Pasigaw na tanong ni Aaron mula sa kusina. "No! Diba kila Aling
Pacing tayo magdidinner?" Sagot ko. I reached for the remote control and changed
the channel.

Ang boring. Wala akong mapanood. I watched totally spies nalang, lol.

I was watching the part wherein Sam, Alex and Clover caught Terence when Aaron sat
on the hard bamboo sofa next to me.

He hugged me and buried his face on the side of my neck. I can feel his breath and
it tickles me. "I'm sorry." He says all too suddenly.

I frowned. "Sorry for what?" He sighed and held my hand. The television show I was
watching was left forgotten. My attention was focused on him at this very moment.

"Sorry for being mean to you. For acting rough. And for showing you how boorish my
attitude is. I know we're supposed to start anew but I can't just get it out of my
mind." He fidgeted with my fingers the way he does when he thinks I'm angry or
upset.

"Apology accepted. It was my fault too. I should've told you instead of pushing you
away."

He hugged me tighter and kissed the top of my head. "I love you. And I'm glad I
tailed you when you ran away, I'm glad we ended up here in Bicol, I'm glad to be
living under the same roof with you."

I giggled. Ang hirap hindi kiligin sa mga sinasabi nya. Shemay. Naisip ko kung
seryoso ba siya sa sinabi nyang pakakasalan nya ko. Yes, I want to marry him. But I
think it's still too early for marriage.

"Aaron?" His name rolled off my tongue sexily.

"Hmm?" He nuzzled my neck and I bit back a moan. "Are you serious about the
marriage you were talking about a while ago?"

His head perked up and his eyes were searching mine. "Yes. Ayaw mo bang pakasalan
ako?" He asked, obviously hurt.

"It's not that. Alam mo namang gusto ko diba? It's my dream to be married to you,
but I don't think I'm ready for that kind of stuff yet." My voice got tinier as I
finished my sentence. I forced down the guilt I was feeling.

He gave me a questioning look and knitted his brows. His eyes mirrored sadness.
"You're not ready.." He repeated, his voice trailing off.

I nodded slowly while looking at my feet. "I want to, seriously I do. But not now.
Not yet." He sighed and was about to stand up when I reached for his arm. "Sorry.
Mahal kita. But I'm scared of not being a good wife for you." I reasoned and he
nodded gloomily.

He didn't speak. "Please Aaron, please try to understand. I'm not turning your
offer down, but I'm not accepting it either." After a minute of silence, I finally
loosened my grip on him. He trudged towards his room and I heard the lock on his
door click.

Way to go, Cassidy. I thought sarcastically to myself. Eh kesa naman magpakasal

kami tapos hindi pa ako handa. It won't work out.

And besides, I'm still scared. What if I marry him and then one day he wakes up
that he doesn't love me anymore. I mentally reprimanded myself for my negativity
and pessimism. I'm thinking too much.

I checked the clock, it says that it's 5:40 pm. I walked towards Aaron's door and
knocked twice.

When he didn't answer on my third knock, I spoke. "I love you. I'll be in my room."
I was half-expecting him to open the door for me and give me a warm hug but I guess
I was giving myself false hopes.

I walked towards my room and went inside. I sat on my bed. Aaron must really hate
me right now. I left him and now that we're okay again, I turned down his marriage
proposal. Dammit, Cassidy. You're really one hell of a sweet lover.

But it's not a formal proposal! Aba kung gustong magpakasal, magpropose ng maayos!
Shouted the other side of my brain. I shook my head at the complexity of my own
brain.

I decided to take a bath. Maybe the cold water will bring light to my mind. A good
bath soothes me. I entered the dilapidated bathroom. It's small, and it's not even
tiled to begin with. The ceiling even has cobwebs.

But in order to have a simple and happy life, one must learn how to be contented
and appreciate even the things with the smallest and most littlest of value. This
place is the closest thing I can call home.

I finished taking a bath in under thirty minutes, it would've taken me an hour if

we have a bath tub in here, but we don't. I went out with only a towel wrapped in
my body. I was a bit shocked to see Aaron sitting on the bamboo sofa.

He raised his eyes and saw me. I smiled awkwardly, scenes of our love making
instantly flooding my mind, filling it with not so wholesome thoughts and ideas.

"Magbihis ka kaya? You can't just go around walking around the house wearing a thin
towel that's doing little to hide your body." He commented. He grabbed a cushion
and set it on his lap.

I knitted my brows, wondering why he would put a cushion on top of his legs.
"Magbihis ka na, Cassidy." He repeated and I nodded. I entered my room and got
dressed. I faced the mirror and combed my hair.

Anong problema nun? May pagtakip-takip pang nalalaman? At the back of my mind,
there was a reason tugging at me. Nagkaboner kaya siya? Fucking hell, my mind is
already corrupted. Bat ganito ang mga naiisip ko?!

I let fifteen minutes pass before going out. I saw him still seated calmly on the
sofa. I cleared my throat but he didn't raise his head. I sat beside him.

"Aaron.." I called. Only then did he raise his head to meet my gaze. Ang ganda ng
mata mo Aaron, leche ka ang sarap mong titigan.

I inwardly groaned. My thoughts are getting way out of control. "You're still
upset." He sighed before standing up to go to his room. I was palming my face when
I heard the door of his room open. I saw him holding clothes neatly folded in one
hand and a towel in the other.

Maliligo siya? Sabay kaya ako? Maliligo ako uli! Said the lascivious part of my
brain. Shut up! I thought as I averted my gaze. He entered the bathroom and when he
came out he was already dressed and was combing his still damp hair.

His body built seems to be shouting Do me! Do me! Talo pa ba ako sa katawan nya?

When his hair has dried, he nodded towards me. "Tara na?" My eyes shot up in
excitement. "San tayo punta?" I asked, obviously gung ho.

"Kila Aling Pacing, diba?" Napamura ko. Oo nga pala. I shook my head and nodded.
"Let's go."

He walked away, obviously putting as much distance as he can between us. He knocked
on Aling Pacing's door and plastered a smile when the latter welcomed us inside her
humble home. "Pasok na kayo mga anak." Aling Pacing ushered us towards the living
room.

"Wait lang ha? Ang aga nyong dalawa, wala pa ang anak ko at hindi pa tapos magluto
si Carding." She explained and smiled apologetically. "Okay lang po, we'll wait
here nalang." I answered.

"Buksan nyo nalang ang tv kapag nabore kayo ha? Tutulungan ko muna si Carding." She
gave us one last smile before heading to the kitchen.

Silence embraced us for minutes. I didn't want to talk because I know he's still
upset about me not agreeing to marry him. It's like a hard kick on his ego as a
man. I feel guilty, too. But I don't want to make rash actions.

I don't know how long we kept ignoring each other's pesence. A knock broke me out
of my reverie, Aling Pacing and Mang Carding hurriedly and excitedly walked towards
the door.

"Makikita ko na ang anak natin. Sa wakas!" Mang Carding said, mirth present in his
voice. Aaron and I stood up, waiting behind the old couple. They opened the door
and a tall guy in a blue shirt and denim jeans came into view.

Mang Carding patted his back while Aling Pacing hugged him. "Namiss kita anak." She
said. The guy embraced her too. "Namiss din kita, Nay." But the guy's eyes weren't
trained on Aling Pacing. His eyes were on me.

He gave me a smile. "Hi." He mouthed and I smiled timidly. The guy looks so
familiar that it made me ponder if I've met him already.

When my memory failed, I shook my head. Aaron wrapped his arm around my waist and
my heart jumped a few times.

Aling Pacing's son gave her a questioning look. "Sino siya, nay?"

Ngumiti si Aling Pacing and looked at me. "Ah Aerold, anak. Sya si Cassidy. At eto
naman si Aaron."

Aaron had this fake smile on his face when he walked closer to Aerold and offered
his hand. "Nice to meet you Aerold."

Aerold nodded and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you too, pare."
Aaron smiled again, and before he let go of Aerold's hand, he said something that
almost made me gasp.

"I'm Cassidy's husband."

17

"Mag-asawa pala kayong dalawa, hindi ko alam. Ang akala ko ay magkasintahan lang
kayo." Aling Pacing commented over dinner. I awkwardly smiled while Aaron was
grinning at her.

"Nakaligtaan lang po naming banggitin sa inyo." He said as he put rice on my plate.

"Ako na." I stopped his hand but he just gave me a heartmelting smile. "No,
sweetheart. Ako na. I wanna do it for you."

Punyeta Aaron! Tama na! Kinikilig ako! I straightened in my seat. Aerold smiled at
me and I smiled back. He's nice and good-looking. "Anak, gano ka katagal dito?"
Mang Carding queried as he munched down his food.

"Baka three weeks lang po. Hindi po pwedeng mawala ng matagal sa trabaho eh." He
works as a bartender abroad. He flew to US three years ago and was fortunate to be
given a job in one of the newest clubs in New York.

"May girlfriend ka na ba, anak?" Aerold laughed and looked towards me. Aaron
possessively scooted closer to me.

Aerold dropped his gaze and focused his eyes on his meal. "Wala po Nay. But there's
this girl I really love."

"Aba, eh torpe ka pala anak! San mo ba nakilala tong babaeng to at ano ang
pangalan?" Mang Carding playfully nudged his son's elbow and the latter just
laughed heartily.

"Sa bar na pinagtatrabahuhan ko, tay. I was really captivated by her beauty. We met
in a very unusual way. Di ko po naitanong ang pangalan eh. We met a year ago."

"Naku, anak. Hindi na ba kayo nagkita uli?" Asked an interested Aling Pacing. Aaron
and I are busy eating and listening to the three of them conversing.

"Hindi na po. I waited for her to show up every night at the bar, pero wala po
talaga. I never saw her again." The old couple nodded understandingly.

Mang Carding gazed at me. "Iha, gano na kayo katagal na kasal nito ni Aaron?" I
swallowed uneasily.

"Uhm, ano-"

"Four months palang po." Aaron said, quickly cutting me off. I nodded in agreement
but I kicked his foot under the table.

"Ow!" Bulalas ni Aerold.

"Anak, bakit? May problema ba?" Aling Pacing asked, worry etched on her features.
"May nakasipa po yata ng paa ko." He answered.
My eyes widened. "Sorry! I thought it was Aaron's foot. Sorry talaga." I explained
to my defense. Aaron fixed Aerold with a bored stare.

"It's okay, Cassidy. Hindi naman ganon kasakit ang sipa mo. Ganyan pala pag bagong
kasal, nagsisipaan under the table." He jested.

My cheeks turned crimson. I can't think of a smart come back so I kept my mouth
shut. Ng makabawi sila sa pagkagulat ay itinuloy namin ang pagkain ng hapunan.

"Bat pala kayo napadpad dito samin?" Aerold asked while a smile was pasted on his
face. I'm not really good at identifying emotions but I have a strong feeling that
it's wistfulness I see in his eyes.

"Wala na kasi kaming matuluyan. Pinalayas kami sa inuupahan namin dahil dun na daw
titira yung anak nung may-ari. Tagakabilang bayan lang kami." Aaron explained while
eyeing Aerold intently.

Why do I feel like there's this hidden animosity between the two of them? Or was it
just Aaron who doesn't like Aerold?

Hay ewan. Guys are confusing as fuck. I let the two of them talk, Aerold asking
questions while Aaron was sewing lies to give him answers.

"Alam mo, iho. Nung una ko kayong makita nagulat ako, lalo na nung sinabi nyong
uupa kayo. Kasi mukha kayong mayaman eh." Aling Pacing grinned at her own remark.

"May mga tao talagang mukhang mayaman. Ganyan pag maganda at gwapo Pacing. Tignan
mo tong anak natin. Aakalain mo bang ganto ang bahay na inuuwian nyan sa Bicol?
Maliit at masikip. Hindi diba? Gwapo mo anak!" Natatawang naghigh five ang mag-ama
habang si Aling Pacing ay naiiling iling na lang sa kalokohan ng dalawa.

After dinner, Aaron offered to help Aling Pacing clear the table. He also offered
to wash the dishes. Aling Pacing accepted his help. Nilalagnat ba ang isang to?
Naguguluhang isip ko. Kailangan kong magpababa ng kinain.

"Aling Pacing, maglalakad lakad lang ho ako." Paalam ko. Aaron quickly turned. "No.
Baka mapano ka. Madilim na Cassidy." He said seriously.

I sighed. "Mag iingat ako. I just want some fresh evening air and to gaze at the
stars for a while." I whined but KJ Aaron shook his head. "I said no."

Aerold approached and looked at me. His eyes seem to be smiling. "Samahan nalang
kita to make sure you're safe." He offered but I shook my head politely.

"Naku, no need. I can manage, well if Aaron will let me." Aaron pursed his lips.
Aerold glaced at his direction. "Hayaan mo na si Cassidy. She just wants to take a
stroll." He defended me.

"At pano kung may mangyaring masama sa kanya?" He questioned. Aerold knitted his
brows. "Walang mangyayaring masama sa kanya, because people here are friendly. I
grew up here and I know every single one of them. I know them enough to guarantee
that they will never hurt anyone." He said with so much conviction that even I
believed him.

Aaron shot him daggers while he was looking at him calmly. "Stroll lang naman.
Payagan mo na ang asawa mo Aaron." Aling Pacing butted in, and Aaron sighed in
defeat. "Fine. Magingat ka."
I smiled at him and nodded. I was about to turn my back when he spoke. "You're
forgetting something, Cassidy." Lumingon ako. "What?" And then, it seemed to dawn
on me. He was waiting for me to say it. I smiled sweetly. "I love you."

His face lit up. "I love you too, ingat uli."

Naglalakad lakad na ako pabalik sa bahay nila Aling Pacing when I heard a voice
behind me. My hand was on my chest because I was startled. I turned only to see
grinning Aerold. "God, you scared me."

"Sorry. I followed you."

Followed me? Why would he do that? I kept silent because I don't know what to say.

"Alam mo ba, when I saw you kanina sa bahay, I was dumbstruck. You look like her."

I frowned. "Her? Who's her?" I asked, confused. He chuckled. "The girl I met in the
bar I work at, a year ago."

"Oh." Yun lang ang sagot ko sa kanya. I continued to walk and watch the pebbles I
kick out of the way. His presence makes me uneasy, for some reason.

"I'm too late." He mouthed. "I'm too late kasi di na siya available. She's someone
else's now." He said sadly.

"Maybe there's someone else out there for you." I advised but he looked at the
stars and let out a deep sigh. "But I want her."

Nailing iling ako. Love shouldn't be forced. No one can cheat fate. Pag sayo, sayo
talaga. Pag hindi, then marami pa dyang iba.

We walked in silence until we can already see their house again. He sighed.

"Now I know why the two of you look awfully alike." He said in a soft voice.

He's talking about that girl again.

Gano ba kaganda ang babaeng tinutukoy nito para kabaliwan niya? Mas maganda ba yun
sakin? Nagtatakang tanong ko sa isip ko.

"Why?" I asked.

He faced me, a sad expression in his face. "Because you are her."

18
"Because you are her."

I looked at him skeptically. Is he insane? What does he mean by that? Me? As in me?
Really? I can't be that girl. Because if I was, then I would remember talking to
him on that bar that night.

"You're nuts. I can't be her, Aerold. You must've mistaken me for someone else." I
tried to be polite but he shook his head rapidly and held my shoulders. "No! It is
you! It is you, Cassidy!"
My patience flew out the window. He was shaking my body while telling me that I was
the girl he loved. I held his hand tightly. "Stop it!" I shouted.

He seemed to calm down a bit and he let go of my shoulder. "Sorry. I got carried
away." He sheepishly apologized.

"Listen, Aerold. She can't be me. Kasi kung ako yon, maaalala ko." I explained,
trying to reign in my annoyance.

He shook his head defiantly. "Alam kong ikaw yon, you might not remember because
you were drunk that night. You were drunk and I was there, taking care of you." He
said sadly.

I heaved a sigh. "Look, Aerold. I'm sorry. This is all a huge misunderstanding." I
turned my back and was about to go back inside the house when he sang. He sang and
I was frozen in place.

My body stiffened when I heard the song he was singing. Napapapikit ako ng mariin
as I was listening to his melodic voice.

"As constant as the stars above, always know that you are loved. ♪♩♪♬"

He stopped and I hastily turned to him.

His eyes bore down on me. In a faltering voice, I spoke. "P-pano mo-"

"You were singing that song over and over again that night. You told me you used to
sing it when you were a kid. Sabi mo pag nalulungkot ka at feeling mo nag-iisa ka
kinakantahan mo nyan ang sarili mo because you wanted to convince yourself that
someone out there, loves you."

My heart was defeaning me with its loud thumping. Yung kanta na yon, napakinggan ko
lang yon sa Barbie Rapunzel.

It was true, what he said was true. I kept on singing that song to myself for
years.

I remained speechless. "Do you believe me now?" He asked softly.

I slowly nodded. There's this faint memory I have in my head. I remember entering
the bar in NYC, but I don't remember getting drunk.

The following day after clubbing, I woke up inside an apartment I wasn't familiar
with, lying comfortably in a mediocre-looking bed.

There was a note on the lampshade and it read:

Goodmorning Ms. You got drunk last night so I took you here on my house. Out to buy
some groceries because I ran out of supplies. We'll talk when I get home.

I crumpled the paper and got dressed. I left with a note saying thank you. I didn't
wait for him because I have a plane to catch. I went back to the hotel I was
staying at, grabbed my things, and checked out.

That was my last day at New York City. I held the picket fence for support. Feeling
ko mawawalan ako ng balanse. "The house I woke up on, it was yours?" It was more of
a statement than a question.

He nodded. "Yes. Lasing na lasing ka kasi nun. You were too blitzed out that I
couldn't extract information from you. Hindi ko alam kung san kita ihahatid, so I
took you there."

Naglasing ako nung gabing yon kasi nakita kong may kasamang iba si Aaron. Yung
Aliya nga. I was torn apart. I decided to go there and get wasted.

"You cried." He muttered while eyeing the stars in the ether. I knitted my brows.
"Pardon me?" Naguguluhang sabi ko.

He looked at me and smiled. "You cried on my shoulders. That's what you did the
whole night. You kept on calling his name." When he said that, I know that he was
referring to Aaron.

"You told me a myriad of stuff that night. And that was one of the greatest nights
in my entire life." He said while smiling like a nincompoop.

"Stuff like what?" I queried. He grinned at me. "Secret."

I nudged his elbow. "C'mon tell me." Umiling iling pa siya na tila nangaasar.
Natawa nalang din ako. "Tell me." I repeated.

"Okay." He said, so I waited. But seconds passed that he didn't say even a single
word. "Well?" I broke the ice.

He sighed."You told me just how much you love him." His expression tightened. I
bowed down. I'm not insensitive to blurt out random comments because I know he
loves me. He stressed that out during dinner.

"You said that he meant the world to you, that your love for him can destroy and
create galaxies, that you will love him until time runs out.." Those were almost
whispers. I played with my fingers.

He let out a sad laugh. "I fell in love with a girl who's in love with somebody
else. I fell for someone who's heart was in pieces. I was hoping that one day I
could find her and fix it for her. But I'm a minute late and a dollar short. The
one who broke it, repaired it too." He put his hands on the pocket of his jeans. He
kept breathing in and out.

Why me of all people? My brain asked. There are millions-no, billions-of girls out
there.

I stared at the night sky and let the cool breeze slap my skin. "I loved you then,
and I loved you now. Why can't it be me?" His voice was so sad, so utterly
desperate.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want this to happen. Sorry." My voice almost cracked.

"The two of you are married, huh? So where does that leave me, Cassidy?" He
inquired, frustration evident on his tone. I wanted to say that this whole
conversation is pathetic but I don't want to be rude.

I cut him some slack.

"Where Cassidy? Where?" His voice drifted off and I shrugged. "I don't know,
Aerold."

He picked up a pebble and threw it in the air. "I guess it leaves me in the
friendzone then?"
Hindi na naman ako sumagot. I don't want to lead him on or hurt him even more.
"Sumagot ka naman oh, please." He was almost begging for me to converse with him.

Tinignan ko siya. "Friendship is all I can offer you, Aerold." Nalulungkot kong
tugon.

He nodded and gave me the best smile he could come up with. "It's okay. Gusto ko
din namang maging kaibigan mo eh. So, friends?" My brows creased, suddenly confused
with the change of atmosphere.

May gusto siya sakin tapos gusto nyang maging kaibigan ako? Masokista ba to?

He offered his hand, and I shook it with reluctance.

"Friends." I uttered.

Without letting go of my hand, he spoke.

"I wanna be the friend you'll learn to love. I will be that friend."

He had that determined look on his face that it makes me want to cringe and just
get the hell away from him. I was about to give him a snarky comment because my
last bit of patience ran out when Aaron appeared out of nowhere.

He was eyeing Aerold with so much hate as if devising a perfect death suitable for
him.

He smirked. "The friend she falls in love with? I think not."

Aaron wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. He pulled me in for a
mindblowing, heartshattering kiss. He was kissing me passionately.

It was the kind of kiss that made me forget about the whole world.

The kind of kiss that made me think mermaids, unicorns, leprechauns and pegasi are
real.

The kind of kiss that made me believe that love is the greatest gift God gave
mankind.

Aaron broke the kiss, I was catching my breath while he was grinning. He turned to
Aerold who was gaping.

Aaron held my hand, he mumbled in my ear. "Uwi na tayo." I nodded, I was too
shocked to compose a sentence.

Ng nasa tapat na kami ni Aerold, Aaron patted his back.

"Just marking my territory, bro."

19
"Damn that bastard. I can't believe he even has the audacity to say that!" Aaron
grumbled angrily. He was gritting his teeth as he paced back and forth in front of
me.
"I'm gonna cut that guy's phallus! And crush his fucking balls!"
"Wag nyang sabihing anak siya ni Aling Pacing! Wala akong pakialam! No one messes
with me!"
"Ayoko ng may kaagaw!"
"I will strangle him to death!"
"Or encase him in a flaming coffin."
"Pangit kasi siya kaya walang ibang magkagusto sa kanya! Kailangan pa bang manlimos
ng pagmamahal? Fucking hell."
He squinted at me. Maybe he noticed that I wasn't reacting.
"At talagang tahimik ka lang diyan ha? Wag mong sabihin saking gusto mo yong taeng
yon?" I almost laughed but I forced myself not to. I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Alam mo ever since ganyan ka na talaga magselos." I commented. He stopped pacing
and turned to face me. "Hindi ako nagseselos." He replied laconically.
Lol. Same old Aaron. Lagi nalang dinedeny pag nagseselos siya. I shrugged. "Sabi mo
eh."
He crossed his arms. "And you, hindi porket pumapayag akong idelay ang marriage
natin ay pwede ka ng humanap ng iba." Tila batang nagtatampong sambit nya.
I grinned. "I love you, okay? You need not worry about Aerold, I assure you hindi
ako maiinlove sa kanya." I even raised my right hand. He looked at mr doubtfully.
"Ako lang?"
Natawa tuloy ako. "Yes."
"Say it."
I pouted. "Ikaw lang."
"Ang? Ang ano?" He demanded. He has a smile on his lips now, his anger completely
evaporated.
"Ang mahal ko. Ang mamahalin ko. Ikaw lang. Okay na?"
He chuckled and attacked me with a hug. "Four years na tayong nagkahiwalay, I'm not
gonna let someone interfere with us now."
"I love you Aaron." I mouthed, he kissed my forehead. "Love you too chief."
And that seems to do the trick for both of us. He's no longer angry and I'm no
longer bothered about Aerold. Just like that. The magic a simple I love you can
possess. We were watching television when he started playing with my hair.
"Auburn. Your hair is auburn now. I like it. But I like your black hair even more.
It suits you better."
"You think so?" Tanong ko while tracing circles on his face. He nodded with eyes
still closed.
"Okay." I answered. He snatched my hand and intertwined our fingers. He held it up,
into the light and looked at it in deep scrutiny.
"It's weird." He murmured. I furrowed my brows. "What is?"
"The way our hands fit perfectly. It's like we're really meant for each other." I
laughed. "Corny mo." Pero ang totoo, kinikilig na ako.
Humilig ako sa balikat nya and he embraced me. He smelled heavenly. Isiniksik ko
pang lalo ang sarili sa kanya. Hugs give warmth.
I don't even care that the sofa we're sitting on is hard, the only thing I care
about now is our bodies locked in each other's arms. Mahal na mahal kita, despite
all your flaws. Bulong ng utak ko. I smiled.
Maaring temporary lang tong saya ko, ang pinapakita niya, ang pagmamahal nya sakin.
But I'll make sure that I'll enjoy it while it lasts. Hinawakan nya ang baba ko at
itinaas ito para magkatapat na ang mukha namin.
I didn't wait for him to lean down, tinawid ko yung distansya sa pagitan namin and
sealed our lips with a kiss. I put my hands around his neck and sat astride him. I
savored the moment.
I love you, I love you, I love you. My heart keeps on shouting those three words.
He was caressing my back. "Shit, Cassidy. Ano ba tong ginagawa mo sakin?" Tila
hirap na hirap na tanong nya ng pakawalan ko ang labi nya. I gave him a sly smile.
He cupped my face and planted his lips on mine again. His tongue was inside my
mouth now. He's french kissing me and I'm enjoying it, loving it. His kiss is just
so addicting.
He broke the kiss and was gasping for air when he stared into my face illuminated
by moonlight. His eyes were searching mine, telepathically asking if I have qualms.
But I have none.
I trust you and I hope that it won't backfire on me. Brain's negativity butted in
again but I forced it down.
Upon seeing that I wasn't having any reluctance at all, he kissed me again before
carrying me to his room.
He set me down on his bed and closed the lights. He joined me there too. I
swallowed uneasily, melting under his penetrating stare.
"Every.." He tugged at the hem of my shirt.
"Inch.." He lifted it up and removed it from me.
"of you.." He's unclasping my brassiere now.
"Is.." Then he threw it across the room.
"Mine."
-
I opened my eyes. The sun rays are giving luminance to the room. I rubbed the sleep
out of my eyes and turned. I saw Aaron sleeping beside me, his hand wrapped around
my waist.
I smiled when I remembered what happened last night, we dit it again. Maybe three
or four times? I'm not sure. I lost count.
I looked at his sleeping face and a smile tugged at the corner of my lips. His face
was so calm, so serene, so utterly perfect that I can't take my eyes off of him.
"It's rude to stare." Napapitlag ako sa boses nya. He slowly opened his eyes and
bore them on me. He grinned. "Goodmorning sweetheart."
Sweetheart daw oh! My heart performed the gangnam style inside my body.
I gave him a smile. "Goodmorning." He reached for my face and gave me a smack. Aba,
ano french kiss uli? Di pa kaya kami nagtutoothbrush. Eew!
"Napagod ba kita?" He jestingly asked. "No." I stuck my tongue out when in truth, I
was really knackered. After the final round last night, I completely ran out of
energy.
He kissed my lips before letting me sleep, he even let me use his chest as my
pillow. I felt so comfortable and safe.
"Love you." He said all of a sudden, nagtaas ako ng tingin sa kanya ang inched
closer. Siniksik ko nanaman ang katawan ko sa kanya. I was fully aware that we were
still both stark naked under the sheets but who gives a damn?
He snuggled me. "Mmm.." Yuck, I moaned. Hahahaha. Yuck yuck pa ako, eh puro ungol
nga ako kagabi. Dang.
"I love waking up like this. Gusto ko pag gigising ako, laging ikaw yung una kong
makikita." He said in a sweet tone.
He yawned. "Seriously, this is the definition of a perfect morning." Anas nya
habang nakatingin parin sa mukha ko. Nginitian ko siya.
Sige lang, tunawin mo pa si heart.
The sound of my stomach ruined the moment. He tsked and sat upright, exposing his
well-sculpted torso. "Shit, what time is it?"
I shrugged. He reached for the bedside table and took his iphone. "11 am na. I
should've woken up early para nakapaghanda ako ng breakfast." Naiinis na sambit nya
sa sarili.
"It's okay."
He stood up-without bothering to hide his nakedness-and gathered his clothes
scattered on the floor.
"AARON!" I shrieked, I know his body is perfect and everything but he can't just go
around walking naked inside the room. Natatawang nilingon niya ako. "What?" He had
that amused smile that I wanted to wipe off his face.
I covered my face with a pillow. "Magbihis ka na nga Aaron Ceyx!" I hissed.
"Sex?" He faked a gasp. I threw a pillow at him though I suspected that I missed
because I couldn't see when I threw it at him. Nakatakip parin ako ng mukha.
"Just go get dressed!"
After less than a minute, he spoke. "Ayan na. You can open your eyes now. Arte eh."
He teased.
I removed the pillow blocking my view and let out a short scream. Binato ko na sa
kanya ang unang hawak ko at pumikit uli.
"Sasapakin kita dyan!" Napipikong sigaw ko. Pano ba naman! Hindi pa siya
nakakapagbihis! I saw his.. his.. ugh!
He grinned. "Oh totoo na to, magbibihis na." Tapos nung tinawag niya uli ako ay
nakabihis na nga siya. Salamat sa panginoon.
Pasalamat ka talagang lalaki ka't mahal kita.
-
"Still hungry?" Aaron asked. Nakasandal ako sa balikat nya while watching
television. Wala namang ibang pagkakaabalahan dito eh.
"Nah. But I'm bored." I replied. He looked at me for a short moment then stood up.
"Tara." Nagkunot noo ako. Ano na namang trip nito? "Where to?" I asked.
"You'll see."

20

"Amusement park?" Nagulat na tanong ko nung pagbaba namin ng jeep ay nakita ko ang
iba't ibang mga rides.

Aaron isn't the type of person who goes to amusement parks, so I was a bit taken
aback. He grinned at me and pulled me inside.

Nung nakita ko kung saan nya ko dadalhin ay tumakas ang kulay sa mukha ko. "No." I
said firmly while shaking my head. He tugged at my hand and chuckled. "Tara na.
It's safe."

I shook my head for the second time. "Isa. Ayoko, are you tryna kill me?" He
suddenly pulled me for a hug. Ang daming taong nagtinginan kaya nangamatis ang
pisngi ko. Damn this guy for making me blush. "Hoy, let go! Nakakahiya,
pinagtitinginan nila tayo oh."

"It's safe. I won't let anything happen to you, okay? Trust me on this." He
mumbled. Dang it! Ano pa bang magagawa ko kung hindi umoo. Eh pinakilig nya na ako
eh, tatanggi pa ba ko?

"Fine." Medyo natatakot paring sabi ko, inakbayan nya ako at sabay kaming lumapit
dun sa operator ng ferris wheel na napakataas. Nagbayad siya at pinasakay na kami.

I wanted to cower the moment I stepped inside. It's creaking and tilting and its
scaring the shit out of me. Aaron felt my discomfort and held my hand.

Pinupuno pa ang ferris wheel kaya isang move pataas palang ang nangyayari. Shit.
Aatakin yata ako sa puso. "Chill babe." He said at umusog palapit sakin. He put his
arm around my waist while his other hand is still holding my hand.

Napunta na kami sa taas. I closed my eyes tightly. I know we're too high up now but
I don't wanna see the view from up here. "Open your eyes." Aaron gently said.
Umiling ako and kept them shut.

"C'mon chief. I'm here, no reason to be scared."

Unti unti kong minulat ang mga mata ko at gusto ko sanang pagsisihan ang ginawa ko.
Ang taas na nga namin! Umandar yung ferris wheel, puno na siguro. Umuugoy ugoy ito
na lalong nagpakaba sakin.

Ng paparating na kami sa taas ay ipinikit ko uli ang mata ko, ngunit naramdaman
kong dumampi ang labi nya sa labi ko.

He kissed me passionately and I returned his kiss with the same fervor. He cupped
my face and deepened the kiss, making my fears disintegrate in the process.
He let go and looked at me in the eyes. "Still scared?"

I smiled. "Not anymore. Not when you're around." I inched closer and hugged him.
Nilapat ko yung ulo ko sa dibdib nya and listened to his heartbeat. It was raging.

"I love you." I heard myself say.

"I love you too."

After the ferris wheel, we played a bunch of games like shooting a pingpong ball on
a glass of water. Aarin tried it and got pissed off when he couldn't do it.

I saw frustration written all over his features. Hinawakan ko braso nya, "Hey, hey.
It's okay."

"No, it's not okay. I'm gonna go win that pink teddy bear for you." Natawa ako at
hinayaan nalang siyang maglaro uli.

Nakita nya kasi yung couple na nakapanalo ng ganun eh so he insisted to play to

give me a teddy bear too.

"Yes!!!!!!" I heard his loud voice, he was grinning from ear to ear when he hugged
me. "You won?" I guessed, he nodded triumphantly at lumapit dun sa lalaking
nagbabantay dun sa game booth na yun.

"Over there. I want that fuzzy pink teddy bear." He ordered but the guy shook his
head and handed him a spongebob stuff toy.

"What?! I don't like this one. Yung tinuturo ko ang ibigay mo." Naiinis na naman
nyang sabi. Yung lalaki umiling iling. "Sir, pasensya na. Pero yung mas malaki para
yan sa mas madaming nashoot na pingpong ball."

"What? Wala naman kayong sinabing ganun kanina!" He insisted but I smiled at the
guy and took the spongebob stuff toy. Hinila ko na ang inis na si Aaron palayo dun.

"Hayaan mo na yun. I like this better. Pinaghirapan mo to eh." I tried to lift up

his spirits, and it worked. "Talaga?"

"Yep. Talaga." I hugged the stuff toy to my chest and he smiled. After playing some
more games ay niyaya ko na syang umuwi. Nagdidilim na, he agreed with me naman. Ng
makauwi kami sa bahay ay madilim na nga. May nadatnan kaming bulto sa tapat and I
was shocked to see that it was Aerold.

Kumunot ang noo ni Aaron pagkakita sa kanya. Aerold on the other hand look calm and
collected. He smiled when we approached. "Hi." Bati nya sakin. Aaron possessively
put his arm in front of me to block Aerold from coming closer.

Nilagay nya ko sa likuran nya. "What the hell are you doing here? Are you gonna beg
for love again?"

Nagtaas naman ng kilay ang kausap nya. "Are you scared that she'll eventually fall
inlove with me?"

Aaron laughed sarcastically. "Nah, I'm not scared at all. Kasi alam kong hindi siya
papatol sayo. She loves me and only me and you have to be freaking amazing to
change that. Hindi mo siya makukuha so deal with it."

"She might wake up one day and realize that she doesn't love you anymore. She might
wake up one day feeling only pity for you."
Lumakas ang tibok ng puso ko sa sinabi nya. Napansin ko ang mahigpit nilang titigan
kaya hinila ko na si Aaron. "Pumasok na tayo sa loob. Wag mo na siyang patulan."

Marahang tinignan ako ni Aaron and sighed. "You're lucky I can't punch your face
into a pulp now because she's here."

Aerold amiled tauntingly at him. "You scared of some fist fight, dude?"

Doon na nainis si Aaron, he let loose a punch na saktong tumama sa mukha nito kaya
napagbagsak ito. "Actually, no."

Nahuntakutang hinatak ko na papasok ng bahay si Aaron bago pa makatayo si Aerold at

magsimula ang suntukan. I closed and locked the door behind me. Inilapag ko yung
stuff toy sa sopang kawayan katabi ko.

Aaron looked teed off. I sighed. "What you did was wrong." Sabi ko, he looked at me
in utter bewilderment. "Wrong?! In what aspect? He initiated a fight. Sinuntok ko
lang kasi nakakainis na eh. Why are you even siding up with him?" Bwisit na sabi
nya.

Tumayo ako and held his face. "Hindi ko siya kinakampihan, okay? Ayoko lang na
nakikipagaway ka. Please don't do it again." Niyakap ko siya. Narinig kong
nagbuntong hininga siya bago ako niyakap pabalik.

"Fine. I'll try." That's good enough for me. Hearing that he'll try is better than
seeing him beating up Aerold. My poor eyes cannot handle a sight like that again.
Natakot ako nung nakita ko yung ginawa nya dun sa lalaki sa bar.

Hinigpitan nya ang pagkakayap sakin na para bang ayaw nya na akong pakawalan. As if
I was his lifeline. "Tama siya Cassidy. He was right about one thing and I hate
it."

"About what?" I felt the fear in his tone.

"Na maaring isang araw, magising ka nalang na hindi mo na ko mahal. Na hindi mo na

ko kailangan. Na awa nalang ang nararamdaman mo sakin. I'm so fucking threatened
that I hate it."

Napangiti ako sa sinabi nya at iniharap siya sakin. Ang lamlam ng mga mata nya. I
kissed the tip of his nose. "Mahal kita and trust me when I say that I won't ever
fall out of love with you. I tried four years ago but failed."

His eyes were searching my face. Pinagdikit nya ang mga noo namin. "I've mentioned
it before and I will mention it again Cassidy.."

He breathed deeply.

"Losing you will be the death of me."

21
Nagising ako na mataas na ang sikat ng araw. Wala na sa tabi ko si Aaron. We slept
together last night. Lumabas ako ng kwarto and saw that breakfast was already
served. Asan na yun?

"Looking for me?" A voice coming from my back said. I turned and saw his lazy
smile. Nakasweat pants lang siya and he was topless. His abs were oh so delicious.
"You're ogling, babe." He commented. "Ganda ng abs mo eh." I admitted and he
grinned.

"Really?" He inched forward and I imcessantly nodded. He gave me a swift kiss.

"Kain na tayo, I was waiting for you to wake up para sabay tayong kumain eh."

Kumain kami and he volunteered to wash the dishes afterwards. Hinila nya ako paupo
sa sopang kawayan and snuggled me.

"Don't you miss your old life chief?" Biglang tanong nya sakin. I frowned. "My old
life? You mean being a bratty socialite who can't escape from my stepdad's claws?
Geez lemme think."

Pinaglaruan nya na naman ang hibla ng buhok ko. His arms are still wrapped around
me. "I mean.. di ka ba nagsasawa sa set-up na to? Tayong dalawa. Nandito sa Bicol,
yung buhay natin ngayon malayo sa buhay natin dati."

Nagtaas ako ng tingin para magkapantay kami. "Gusto mo na bang bumalik sa Manila?
Ayaw mo na dito?" Nalulungkot na tanong ko.

Ayaw ko pang umalis dito sa Bicol. I love this place.

"Ha? No. Of course I like it here. Ikaw lang naman ang iniisip ko. Baka nahihirapan
ka na sa buhay natin dito. Baka gusto mo ng bumalik. Kasi ako, kahit hindi na tayo
bumalik sa Manila okay lang. Basta kasama kita, okay lang."

I was touched. I gave him a smack. "I don't wanna go back. Bicol is our safe
haven."

"Don't you miss them? Your friends and your job, that I don't like." Sumimangot
siya dun sa part na sinabi nya yung 'your job that I don't like'

"But I love my job. I love modeling."

"I hate it Cassidy. Some guys are lusting over you. Ako lang dapat." Sinapak ko
yung braso nya. He chuckled. "What? Ako lang naman talaga dapat eh."

Inirapan ko siya. "I miss them, seriously I do. I miss Psyche and Altheia. Even
Christian." Naikwento ko na sa kanya si Psyche at Theia dahil pag wala kaming
magawa, nagkkwentuhan kami tungkol sa mga nangyari sa buhay namin nung past four
years.

Kumunot ang noo nya. For sure ay nagseselos na agad to. Possessive at territorial
ang loko eh. "Christian's your manager right? Bakit mo yun namimiss? Mas gwapo kaya
ako dun."

"Christian's also my friend. Wag ka ngang seloso dyan. May gusto yun kay Theia,
okay?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Malay mo sabi nya lang yon para mapalapit sayo."

Natawa ko. Seriously. Ang creative ng imagination nya. "He loves Theia. You need
not question that, if only you can see his reaction when Theia's around, nako hindi
mo ikakaila. Si Theia lang naman ang manhid eh."

He smiled and intertwined our fingers. "Fine. Basta akin ka lang."

Ngumiti ako ngunit napalis din agad ito ng maalala ko ang isang taong pinakanamiss
ko. "Hey, you okay?" Aaron asked.
I shook my head. "I miss Manang Soling. I miss her so much." Hindi ko na alam kung
nasan siya. Pero I know na hindi siya sinaktan ni Alvido. Alvido's covetous but he
knows how to make a deal. Tumutupad naman siya sa mga pangako as long as makukuha
nya ang gusto nya.

"I miss her too. Naalala mo ba dati, nung ipakilala mo ako sa kanya. She made me
swear an oath to her na hindi kita sasaktan." Natawa siya habang sinasabi ito.
Close din sila ni Manang eh.

"I wish I could see her." I whispered. "Gusto mo bang dumalaw muna tayo sa Manila
para makita mo siya?"

"Wag na. Hindi ko rin naman alam kung nasan siya eh. Kasi nagbabawas nga si Alvido
ng katulong kaya natanggal siya. Siguro umuwi yun sa Pampanga." Hinigpitan nya ang
yakap nya sakin. "Basta andito lang ako para sayo. I love you chief."

At tulad ng dati, tila gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko kapag nag iilove you sya. Feeling
ko invincible ako.

"Sige na chief. Minsan lang naman to eh." Ungot nya. Umiling uli ako at iniwan siya
sa kusina. Umupo ako sa sopa. Sumunod naman siya at tinabihan ako. "Babe sige na
please?"

"Isa Aaron. The answer is no and that's final."

"Okay." He pouted. Tinabihan nya nalang ako at hinila ako palapit sa kanya. "Sige
na chief. Ngayon lang naman to eh." Pangungulit parin nya.

"Wag kang makulit dyan. Pag sumama ka sa inuman nila Kuya Toto makikipagdate ako
kay Aerold."

Nagseryoso yung itsura nya. "You won't do that."

"Try me, Aaron. Try me." Nainis na pumalatak siya. Tumayo siya sa sopa at dumeretso
palabas ng bahay.

Aba't san pupunta yun?! Wag nyang sabihing makikipaginuman parin siya?! Ginagalit
yata talaga ako ng lalaking to. Naiinis na tumayo ako para sundan sana siya pero
bago pa ako makalabas ay nakabalik na siya ng bahay.

"At san ka pupunta Cassidy Margaux D. Hurdiss?"

"Kay Aerold. May date kami. Shoo!" Pinaalis ko sya ng pinto. Hindi naman talaga ako
makikipagdate dun gusto ko lang siyang bwisitin eh.

Pumulupot ang braso nya sa bewan ko at hinila ako paupo sa sopa. "You're gonna stay
here. I told Kuya Toto na hindi na ko sasali sa inuman. Kaya dito ka lang. Nobody's
going out tonight." He said in a serious manner.

I grinned. "Okay!" Niyapos ko sya at hinalikan. "Chill Aaron."

Kinunutan nya ako ng noo, he gave me an evil smile after he realized that I planned
this.

"At dahil buong gabi tayo dito, you're gonna keep me occupied."
He leaned forward and I gulped. "Hoy, hoy! Anong binabalak mo dyan?" I said in a
panicked voice.

He smirked then winked at me. "Oh, nothing. Just a friendly game of truth or dare."

22

"Stop giving me that menacing smile." I told Aaron who was busy smirking at me.
Nagjack en poy kami. Of course I lost. I rolled my eyes while he was grinning.

"Truth or dare?" He sniggered. "Truth."I answered. Ano naman kayang itatanong nito?

"Sinong mas gwapo, ako o si Aerold?" I laughed. Grabe talaga ang pagiging seloso
nya.

"Why are you laughing?" He furrowed his brows in annoyance and confusion. "Yung
tanong mo kasi eh."

"Just answer it." He impatiently said. "Easy. You." His face lit up, he even
grinned. "Okay, next round."

We did it again, but I lost. Papel siya tapos bato ako. Bwisit! Why do I suck at
this? "Truth." Napipikong sagot ko.

"Okay. Pero kapag natalo ka pa uli dapat magdare ka na. Bawal tatlong truth."
Nanlaki ang mata ko. "What?! No! Kelan nagkaroon ng ganong rule? Ang daya mo!"
Pagrereklamo ko pero he just stuck his tongue out. "Kanina lang nung sinabi ko.
Now, truth. Hmm."

I crossed my arms while he was busy thinking of a question he could ask. "Tagal
magisip ng tanong." I commented.

"Am I good in bed?" Mabilis nyang tanong. Naningkit ang mata ko at nangamatis ang
mga pisngi ko.

"You're not allowed to ask questions like that!" I exclaimed out of shyness.

Nakakahiya naman. Talagang tinanong pa nya ha. Alam nya naman ang sagot!

"I'm waiting for the answer Cassidy." He jested but I only shot him a death stare.
"Baguhin mo yung tanong! Ayoko nyan."

"Nope, sorry. I get to choose what question I'm gonna ask. You don't have a say on
this." Mapangasar nyang sagot. Wtf.

Nahihiyang yumuko ako. "Y-yes." His laugh reverberated on all four corners of the
living room.

"I can't hear you, babe. Say it again." Paulit ulit akong umiling. "No way. You
heard it. I'm not gonna repeat it again."

He crossed the distance between us and leaned. His face was only inches away from
mine that my breathing suddenly became labored. "Am. I. Good. In. Bed?" He gave
emphasis on each word.
Napalunok ako. "Yes." My voice was soft and was almost inaudible. Lumayo na siya
but he kissed my forehead first.

Nagjack en poy uli kami and this time.. "Hah! Akala mo ha." Finally, nanalo rin. I
smirked.

"Truth or dare?" I asked him. He thought for a while. Then sabi nya, "Sige truth
muna."

I nodded. "Kung babalik si Aliya, sino pipiliin mo saming dalawa?" Ayan, umiral
narin ang insecurities ko sa buhay. He chuckled. "Ikaw syempre. Aliya means nothing
to me. You mean everything."

I was more than satisfied with his answer. He lost another round. Truth uli pinili
nya. "Did you have sex with other women when you were in New York?" Kinabahan ako
sa sagot nya. Alam kong meron, syempre lalaki sya eh.

Pero gusto ko paring marinig galing sa kanya. Masokista ako eh, alam ko namang
masasaktan ako kapag sinabi nya ang 'oo'. He looked at me nervously, I saw anxiety
in his eyes.

Silence means yes diba? I can't even imagine him making out with someone. Masakit
na nga yun palang eh. Hindi parin siya sumasagot.

"Just forget it Aaron. Alam ko naman na yung s-sagot eh." Akmang tatayo na sana ko
ng pigilan nya ko. He put his hand on my arm but I removed it.

"Cassid-"

"Inaantok na ko Aaron, let's just go to sleep." I cut him off. Nasasaktan ako at
gusto kong umiyak. Tanga lang. Tinanong ko pa kasi eh. I sniffed.

"Babe please don't cry." Agap nya. Lumapit siya sakin at kinulong ako sa yakap nya.
I threw punches at his chest and pushed him away. Hindi ko na napigilang tumulo ang
luha ko. I hate him!

"Babe hush."

"Hush hushin mo mukha mo!"

He sighed deeply. "Babe, wala. I didn't sleep with anyone when I was on New York.
Please stop crying."

Tinulak ko uli siya ng malakas pero ang higpit ng yakap nya. "Stop lying to me just
to make me feel better! You hesitated before answering my question! How many girls
have you slept with huh? How many?!"

"Cassidy, wala. Calm down. Please calm down."

Tinulak ko siya and this time I was free from his grip. "Ilan Aaron?! Just fucking
answer me!"

Rumehistro ang galit sa mukha nya. "Tangina naman Cassidy! Wala nga eh! Ano ba!
Hindi ka ba naniniwala sakin?! I was also a virgin when I took you! I couldn't
answer your question straight away because it was embarrassing to admit that I, a
24 year old billionaire only got laid a few days ago! Ayan, sinabi ko na bahala ka
kung maniniwala ka!" He angrily stormed into his room.

I was left there speechless, gaping in thin air. Ako rin ang una nya? Gusto kong
magbunyi sa narinig ko kaso naguilty din ako. Aaron's angry at me because I accused
him of something he did not do.

Gusto ko sanang magsorry sa kanya kaya lang galit pa yun. Maybe I should apologize
tomorrow. Tama bukas nalang. Shit ka kasi Cassidy eh.

Naiiling na pumasok ako sa kwarto ko at natulog. When I woke up the next morning ay
nakahanda na ang almusal. As usual.

Aaron was seated on the wooden bamboo sofa. I approached him, tumayo sya at
sinalubong ako ng makitang gising na ako. Bigla nya akong niyakap. "Sorry I shouted
at you last night chief."

Guilt was etched on his face. I hugged him tighter, "Ako nga dapat ang magsorry
diba? Sorry I jumped into conclusions. Sana nakinig muna ako sa paliwanag mo.
Sorry." Naiiyak kong sabi.

Hinaplos nya ang likod ko at hinalikan ang tuktok ng ulo ko. "Forgiven. I love you
Cassidy." Sambit nya na nakapagpangiti sakin.

"I love you more." Ang tagal namin sa ganong posisyon. I just love hugging this
guy.

"Kain na tayo?" Tanong nya. I nodded and followed him to the kitchen. Sinandukan
nya ko ng fried rice at nilagay ito sa plate ko.

Pinanood ko lang siya habang ginagawa nya yun. He stopped and looked at me. He
looks bothered. "Bakit hindi ka nagsasalita? Akala ko ba okay na tayo? Galit ka
parin ba?"

I smiled and shook my head. "Hindi."

"Eh bat hindi ka nagsasalita dyan?"

Kinikilig kasi ako sa simple sweet gestures mo eh. At naiisip ko lang naang swerte
swerte ko sayo.

"I'm lucky to have you." I decided to say that. Tinawid nya yung pagitan namin at
hinalikan ako sa labi.

Napapikit ako. When I opened my eyes, nasilayan ko ang nakangiti nyang mukha.

"Swerte rin naman ako sayo eh."

23

"Aling Pacing tara na po!" Nagmamadaling sigaw ko. Baka mamaya ay magising na si
Aaron at mahuli pa kami.

I left a note saying:

Goodmorning! I'll be back later. I love you. -C

Naglakad na kami ni Aling Pacing papunta sa parlor. Medyo malayo pero natiis ko
naman. Sa kanya ako nagpasama kasi wala naman akong ibang kaclose dun kundi sila ni
Mang Carding. Alangan namang kay Mang Carding ako magpasama diba?
Buti nalang tulog parin si Aerold kanina at hindi ko siya nakaharap nung pumunta ko
kila Aling Pacing.

"Dito na tayo anak." Pukaw nya sa atensyon ko.

Sa wakas. After fifteen minutes of walking ay nakarating na kami. We were greeted

by a boisterous gay in a pink sleeveless tshirt. "Ano po sa inyo ma'am? Gupit?
Rebond? Hair coloring? Manicure? Pedicure? Name it, we have it."

Ang dami nyang sinabi. "I would like to dye my hair black, please."

Napanganga ang iba pang mga customer sakin. "Ay, inglisera si Ateng." Komento ng
isa pang bakla.

"Beks, hair dye daw! Ikaw na dito." Says the gay in a sleeveless shirt. Ang baklamg
tinawag na beks ay lumapit at nginitian ako. I smiled back awkwardly.

"Ang ganda nyo naman po Ms. May kamukha kayo, hindi ko po alam kung artista oh ano
eh. Basta parang pamilyar po mukha nyo sakin." Sabi ni Beks. Pinaupo nya ako dun sa
parlor stool. Sinipat sipat nya muna yung buhok ko, napadako ang tingin ko sa
magazine rack sa tabi ko at nanlaki ang mata ko sa nakita.

On top was a fashion magazine. And I was at the cover! It was a February issue
DERNIER CRI. Nakita ko sa salamin na napatingin din dun yung gay beautician. First,
he furrowed his brows then looked at me.

Tapos tinignan nya uli ang magazine tapos ako. Then nanlaki ang mata nya. Bago pa
man siya makapagreact ay tumayo na ako sa stool. "Aling Pacing alis na po tayo.
Please hurry po." Nagpapanic na sabi ko.

"Maam wait lang po-" Sabi nung baklang beautician but I ignored him. Derederetso
akong lumabas ng parlor at sumunod naman si Aling Pacing. "May problema ba Cassidy?
Bat bigla ka nalang lumabas?"

"W-wala po Manang. Meron pa po bang ibang parlor dito?" Tumango naman siya at
sinabing sumunod daw ako sa kanya. We reached the second parlor in no time.
Nagpakulay ako ng black at si Aling Pacing naman ay nagpagupit ng hair.

"Bagay pala sayo ang black na buhok Cassidy. Mas maganda ka kapag simple." Komento
nya. Kiming nagpasalamat ako.

I paid the gay who dyed my hair a thousand. Nagkunot noo naman si Aling Pacing.
"Anak matanong ko lang ha? Bakit nga pala hindi nagtatrabaho si Aaron? San kayo
kumukuha ng pangkain nyo sa araw-araw?"

Napalunok ako. "Ah, eh. Ano po kasi. May pera pa po kasi kami. May ipon po kaming
malaking halaga. P-pero matagal na po yun at paubos na. Kaya po naghahanap si Aaron
ngayon ng trabaho." I lied. Hindi ko naman pwedeng sabihin na bilyonaryo si Aaron
kaya kahit hindi kami magtrabaho ng ilang taon ay hindi kami mauubusan ng pera.

Tumango tango siya. "Ganun ba? Baka may mairekumendang trabaho si Carding para sa
kanya. Sabihin mo sumama muna siya paminsan minsan sa paghuli ng isda dun sa may
ilog."

Patay na! I need to talk to Aaron when I get home. Sooner or later ay malalaman
nila Aling Pacing ang totoo kung hindi kami aaktong kapos. Tsk. Who knew being poor
is this tough?

Nagyaya munang kumain si Aling Pacing sa isang karinderyang nadaanan namin bago
umuwi. Pagdating ko sa bahay ay nakita ko si Aaron na nakaupo sa tapat, he was
obviously waiting for me.

Ng makita nya ko ay nanlaki ang mata nya. Tinakbo nya ako at hinawakan ang pisngi
ko. "Ang ganda ganda mo." His eyes were twinkling. I grinned at him and he was
about to kiss me when Aling Pacing interjected. "Ehem. May tao rito Aaron ha. Sa
bahay yan ginagawa."

Natawa ako, Aaron looked at Aling Pacing and gave her a smile. "Salamat pala sa
pagsama sa asawa ko."

Tumango si Aling Pacing. "Oh sige mauna na ako ha?" Paalam nya. I thanked her,
tapos pumasok na siya sa loob ng bahay nila. Hinapit ni Aaron ang bewang ko at
tinitigan ako sa mata.

"Bagay talaga sayo black eh." Nginitian ko siya ng matamis tsaka tumingkayad para
maabot ang labi nya. I kissed him with need. Ako yung unang bumitaw sa halik,
nauubusan na ako ng hininga eh.

"We need to talk." Seryosong sabi ko sa kanya. Nakita ko kung panong nag-iba yung
ekspresyon ng mukha nya. Hinawakan nya ng mahigpit ang mga kamay ko.

"No, Cassidy. You're not gonna leave me again. Alam ko yang linya na yan, you
already used that on me. No. Hindi ako papayag. Not this time. Hindi kita
pakakawalan." Mahaba at seryosong pahayag nya. Pinipigilan ko ang sarili kong
matawa pero hindi ko magawa.

Napabunghalit ako ng tawa na sya namang ipinagtaka nya. "Why the hell are you
laughing?" He peevishly asked.

"Hindi kita iiwan uli, baliw."

He creased his brows."Hindi? Then what do we have to talk about?" Naguguluhang

tanong nya. Tinapos ko muna ang pagtawa bago sumagot.

"Nagtataka na si Aling Pacing, hindi ka raw nagtatrabaho pero may pera daw tayo at
pangkain."

"Uhm, so? What are you suggesting?" I bit my lip. "That you work? Na samahan mo
muna si Mang Carding sa pangingisda para kunyari gusto mong kumita ng pera."
Suhestyon ko. His eyes bulged. He seemed incredulous.

"Are you freaking serious?!"

"Yep." I answered. Napaupo siya sa trunk ng puno habang hawak ang ulo nya.

"Geez, I never thought I'll experience being a fisherman."

---

"I'm not wearing this thing! I'm gonna be a fisherman, not a farmer!" He
caterwauled when he saw the longsleeves I was asking him to wear. It's dirty brown
in color.

Nailing iling ako. "Magsasaka, mangingisda. Halos pareho lang ng sinosoot, wag kang
maginarte dyan. You can't wear vneck shirts and three-piece suits while catching
fishes. Marine animals aren't attracted to billionaires, Aaron."

"Pero-"

"No buts." I handed him the shirt and he had no choice but to wear it. He even
stomped his foot like a kid but I just laughed at him.

Ng maisuot nya na ito ay tinitigan ko siya. "See? It's not that bad." Totoo naman,
nadadala kasi nya lahat nga sinosoot nya, kaya it doesn't matter whether it's
branded or from the ukay.

"Stop teasing me. Alam kong mukha akong ewan." Sumimangot siya. My grumpy Aaron.
Tinabihan ko siya sa sopa. "Hindi kita inaasar. I'm telling you the truth. Now, go
outside. Don't make Mang Carding wait. Here in Bicol, you're not Aaron Monteverde
the billionaire. Because in here you are Aaron Monteverde, the fisherman."

He crossed his arms and puckered his lips. "Fine. But give me my kiss first."

"Gladly." We shared a kiss before I lead him outside the house. Mang Carding was
already waiting in front of their house. He stood up the moment he saw Aaron.

"Goodmorning Mang Carding!" Masiglang bati nya rito, kumaway naman ang matandang
lalaki. "Magandang umaga rin sa inyong magasawa."

Napangiti ako, I can't help but smile when they say mag-asawa. Hindi kasi ako sanay
at saka kinikilig ako. Para na nga kaming mag-asawa talaga ni Aaron. We live under
the same roof!

"Tara na sa ilog iho. Mabuti ng maaga ng marami tayong mahuli." Tumango si Aaron
ngunit bago sila umalis ay binigyan nya muli ako ng isang mabilis na halik sa labi.

"I love you. Wag kang gumala ha? Hintayin mo ako sa bahay." Paalala nya. Tumango
ako.

"Love you too. Ingat kayo ni Mang Carding. Goodluck sa new job mo."

24

Hapon na umuwi sila Mang Carding. Awang awa ako kay Aaron dahil mukhang pagod na
pagod siya. Hindi naman siya sanay mangisda. Simalubong ko siya agad. "How did it
go?" I asked him as soon as Mang Carding was out of earshot.

"Hindi ako papasang mangingisda." He replied, obviously annoyed. I patted his

back.

"I can't even hold a milkfish in my bare hands. Lagi kong naibabato because it
keeps on wriggling under my grip." Pagmamaktol nya. Niyakap ko siya habang
natatawa.

"It's okay for a starter. Don't worry masasanay ka rin." He sighed. "Naging burden
pa tuloy ako ni Mang Carding."

"Okay lang yan, so how much did you earn?"

He put his hand on his pocket and reached for a one hundred peso bill. "Eto lang.
Sabi ko kasi kay Mang Carding kanya na yung 200 dahil sya naman halos ang nanghuli.
Dapat nga hindi ko to kukunin but he insisted."

I cupped his face, "You look knackered. Go take a bath, then dinner na tayo. May
ulam na." I smiled at him before coaxing him to clean himself up.

"What's for dinner?" Tanong nya. "Bicol express." His eyes widened. "Did you cook
it?"

I nodded slowly and shyly. "Nagpaturo ako kay Aling Pacing. Ayoko naman kasing
umuwi ka ng bahay na wala kang madadatnang pagkain."

He chuckled and held my chin up. "Yes naman, sweet mo ngayon ha. I'm so proud that
you can cook now."

I gave him a timid smile. "Hindi naman pwedeng ikaw lang ang laging magluluto
diba?"

A smile was tugging at the corner of his lips. He was about to lean so he could
give me a kiss but I blocked his puckered lips using my hand. "Hey, what was that
for?" Pagrereklamo nya. I grinned and pointed to the bathroom.

"Go take a bath now." Sumimangot siya at pumasok sa kwarto para kumuha ng twalya.
Tapos derederetso na siyang pumasok sa banyo.

---

"A-ano? How was it?" Kinakabahang tanong ko. He tasted the Bicol express and was
silent. He looked at me intently then back at the bowl of viend.

I sighed, I know his reaction would be like this. I never should've tried. Alam ko
namang epic fail lahat ng niluluto ko. "It's okay. Tawag nalang tayo sa fastfood."
Marahang sabi ko, pero umiling iling siya.

Sumubo uli siya ng Bicol express at inulam ito sa kanin. Napanganga ko sa ginawa
nya. He seriously doesn't have to eat this trash just so I wouldn't be offended.
Pinigil ko yung kamay nya.

The spoon was halfway through his mouth when I grabbed his arm. He frowned. "What?
Kumakain yung tao dito eh."

"You don't have to eat this. Hindi ako galit. Tawag nalang tayo sa fastfood."
Umiling iling siya. "But I want to eat it. Kung gusto mong magfastfood nalang then
okay. Pero ito kakainin ko."

Dinabog ko ang paa ko. "You don't have to pretend that you like it!" I hissed.
Nilapag nya yung kutsara nya and looked at me.

"Babe I'm not pretending, okay? I do like it. It tastes good." He looked sincere
but I was still doubtful.

"Eh bakit hindi ka nagsalita agad nung matikman mo?!" Nagtatampong sigaw ko, he
grinned. "Eh hindi ako makapaniwalang ikaw ang nagluto eh. Kasi ang sarap. Baka
naman si Aling Pacing nagluto nito ha." Tignan mo to, nangasar pa.

So kapag masarap ang ulam hindi ako ang nagluto? I pouted but he just pinched my
nose. Inusog nya palapit sakin yung mangkok ng ulam tapos nilagyan nya ako ng kanin
sa plate ko.
"Eat. Pagsaluhan natin tong pinaghirapan mong Bicol Express."

---

"Ano ba kasi yang surprise mo Aaron?" Hindi mapakaling tanong ko uli. He grinned.
"Basta, be patient babe."

I crossed my arms. He blindfolded me. Ang daming pautot ni Aaron. But I love him
for that.

Hindi man sabihin ni Aaron na kami, ay mayroon kaming understanding.

Nagkakainitindihan kaming dalawa, hindi man namin pag-usapan yon ay alam naman sa
sarili namin na kami.

Kakatapos ko lang maligo at magbihis ng kumatok si Aaron sa kwarto ko. He said that
he has a surprise for me. He insisted that I put on a blindfold. At first ay hindi
ako pumayag but he was really persistent.

Nilagyan nya ako ng blindfold tapos nafeel ko na lumabas kami ng bahay. Inaalalayan
nya naman ako. "Careful chief." He said while holding me.

"Eh bakit kasi ayaw mo pang sabihin sakin kung ano to eh." Mareklamong saad ko, but
he just chuckled. "Kapag sinabi ko edi hindi na surprise yun."

Oo nga naman. Tanga lang? So ayun, hinayaan ko nalang na igiya nya ako sa kung
saan. Tapos huminto kami. Binitiwan nya ako at narinig kong naglakad siya palayo.

"Hoy san ka pupunta? Don't tell me you're leaving me here?!" He didn't answer. I
felt a hand on my arm again. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. Akala ko iniwan na talaga
ako ng mokong.

Pero para may nagiba sa kamay nya? Why does it feel softer and more wrinkled?

"You can take off your blindfold now." Says Aaron's voice who seems to be coming
from in front of me. Huh? Kung nasa may harapan ko siya then who's holding me?

I can't handle the suspense anymore so I hastily untied the blindfold's knot at the
back of my head. Nasilayan ng mata ko si Aaron, he smiled at me and motioned me to
turn.

Pinahihiwatig nya na tignan ko kung sino yung nasa tabi ko. Lumingon ako and I was
dumbstruck. Umawang ang labi ko ng makita ko siya.

Nag-init ang sulok ng mga mata ko habang nakatingin sa kanya. Sya din teary eyed
na. Niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit at naiyak sa balikat nya.

"Surprise." Aaron said next to me while watching us hug. Nilingon ko si Aaron, he

was smiling at me. God, I wanna kiss him right now for doing this.

Lumapit ako sa kanya. "Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me."
Naluluhang sabi ko parin, he pulled me for a quick hug and kissed the top of my
head. "Ayoko lang na makita kang malungkot."

Bumitaw ako kay Aaron at tumingin uli sa kanya. This time, it was her who reached
out for me to give me a hug.

Masuyong hinaplos niya yung buhok ko. "Pinasundo ako ni Aaron sa probinsya kasi
namimiss mo daw ako at para hindi ka na daw malungkot. At para narin daw may kasama
ka sa bahay pag magtatrabaho na siya."
She wiped my tears using her palms. "I missed you Manang Soling."

25
Hi guys. Please support my other story. Heaven's Will. Thank you!

"Ooooops! Cassidy saan ka pupunta? Sa kwarto mo ikaw dumeretso. Doon ka matulog."

Striktang sabi ni Manang Soling sakin. I grinned at her and flashed her a peace
sign.

"Sorry po." Natatawang sabi ko sa kanya. Nakapameywang siya saming dalawa, nagkamot
naman ng ulo si Aaron. "Manang naman. Matatanda na kami, hindi na po kami bata."
Aaron reasoned while still holding my hand.

Umiling iling si Manang. "Aaron, anak. Hindi porket dinala mo ko dito ay pwede na
ang mga ganyan sakin ha? Naku!"

Namiss ko talaga ang pagiging overprotective ni Manang sakin. Kanina nga ng umalis
si Aaron para mangisda kasama si Mang Carding ay ipinagluto nya ko ng paborito kong
snack. Potatoes wrapped in egg.

Naexplain nadin namin sa kanya ang dahilan kung bakit kami nasa Bicol at
naintindihan naman niya.

"Manang naman eh! Sige na po! Kahit isang gabi lang." Pamimilit pa ni Aaron habang
nakasimangot na. Nangingiting nakatingin lang ako sa kanilang dalawa.

"Hindi." Manang said firmly. Aaron turned to me for help but I just shrugged. "Wala
ka bang gagawin? Ayaw mo ko katabi?" Nagpapaawang saad nya.

"Sa kwarto ko nalang ako matutulog. Wag mo ng kulitin si Manang at mukhang

nakukunsumi na siya sayo." Aaron crossed his arms. "Okay." Maikling sagot nya.

Lumapit siya sakin and leaned forward. He captured my lips and I felt like I'm in
heaven again.

*pak*

"Ouch!" Sigaw ni Aaron, nakitang kong may hawak na nakarolyong dyaryo si Manang na
siyang nakatutok kay Aaron. "What is it this time?" Gulat na tanong nya rito.

Hinampas uli siya ni Manang ng dyaryo bago nagsalita. "Lumampas ng isang segundo
yung halik nyo eh!"

Aaron looked incredulous. "Manang are you even for real?"

Nagkunot noo si Manang. "Oo. Real na real. Dalandan." Tawa ko ng tawa sa kanilang
dalawa. Nailing nalang si Aaron. Si Manang naman pinatutulog na kami dahil 10 pm
na.

"Goodnight chief. I love you." Nakangiting sabi nya. "Love you back Aaron Ceyx."

"Oh tulog na. Tama na ang lambuchingan." Naiinip na sabi ni Manang na pinapanood
parin kami, this time Aaron grinned. "Goodnight Manang."

Tinanguan siya ni Manang. Hinintay muna nitong makapasok kami sa kanya kanyang
kwarto bago pumasok sa sarili nyang silid-tulugan. I laid in bed smiling like an
idiot.

God, how I love that guy. Sobrang hulog na hulog na naman ako sa kanya. Sana wag ng
dumating yung oras na may mangyayari na naman para masira yung pagmamahalan namin.

I'm betting my happiness on our love. I can't afford to get hurt again. Nagpasya
akong matulog nalang. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko at niyakap ang unang nasa tabi
ko.

*creeeeaaaak* My eyes shot open. I heard my door creak, at ng lumingon ako ay may
malaking bulto na nakatayo sa harapan ko. The fear aandoned my system when he
grinned.

"What the hell Aaron? You scared me!" I hissed although I was whispering. Tinabihan
nya ako sa kama, humiga rin siya at niyakap ako. "Sorry. Just wanted to sleep next
to you tonight. Si Manang kasi eh."

"Kapag tayo nahuli non pupukpukin ka uli non ng dyaryo." Pananakot ko but he just
smirked. "Kahit ilang pukpok pa ng dyaryo yan makakaya ko, makasama ka lang."

My cheeks flushed. I tried to calm my hysterical heart but it continued to thump

wildly. Nakahiga kaming dalawa, me facing the wall and him facing my back. He
tightened his hug on me and I felt his head settle on my back.

"Hoy behave ka ha!" Paalala ko, I could almost imagine him smiling after I said
that. "Yes chief. Goodnight."

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. "Sweetdreams. Love you."

"Love you even more babe."

"Cassidy! Cassidy anak! Gumising ka na!" Manang Soling's loud voice woke me up. I
sat upright groggily and it dawned on me that Aaron was still sleeping soundly
beside me.

"Cassidy! Bangon na dyan!" She knocked on my door repeatedly, she might enter. That
sent major uh-oh chills on my back. Patay ako kapag nakita nya si Aaron na
natutulog dito!

"Hey, hey. Wake up. Mahuhuli tayo ni Manang!" Inalog alog ko siya para magising. He
opened his eyes slowly and rubbed them. He smiled upon seeing me. "Morning chief."

"Cassidy! Bakit hindi ka pa lumalabas dyan?! Papasok ako sa kwarto mong bata ka
kapag hindi ka bumangon!" Pagbabanta nya. Shit. "A-ah. Wait lang po Manang.
Nagpapalit pa po ako ng damit." Sigaw ko.

Pinandilatan ko si Aaron. "Under the bed. Now." I told him, his eyes bulged. "What?
No!" He protested. I punched him lightly and gave him a glare. "Now."

Naiinis na siniksik nya ang sarili nya sa ilalim ng kama ko. Just then, the door to
my room suddenly opened. Wala kasing lock ang mga kwarto dito sa bahay.

Manang peeked inside and frowned at me. "Akala ko ba nagbibihis ka?"

"Eh, ano po. Namimili palang ako ng susootin eh you barged in." I reasoned. She
gave me a look of doubt and scanned my room. "Sigurado ka bang wala si Aaron dito?
Kumatok ako sa kwarto nya pero walang sumasagot. Pagpasok ko walang tao."

"B-baka po maaga umalis para mangisda kasama si Mang Carding. Hindi man lang siya
nagpaalam sakin. O kahit man lang hinintay akong magising." I pretended to be sad.

She sighed, "Hayaan mo na. Babalik naman yun, lika na, hinanda ko na ang agahan." I
was anxious to leave my room baka maisipan pa nyang icheck. Delikado.

I smiled at her before following her to the dining area. Pinaupo niya ako at
naghain na siya. "Ang aga umalis ni Aaron hindi man lang nagalmusal. Kawawa naman
ang batang yon." She uttered.

I gave her a small smile. "Ipagluto nalang po natin para pag uwi nya nakahanda na
ang dinner." She nodded approvingly.

The front door opened. Dalawa kaming napalingon ni Manang. A smiling Aaron came
into view. Huh? Iniwan ko siya sa kwarto ko ah.

"San ka nanggaling? Akala namin ni Cassidy ay umalis kayo ng maaga para mangisda."
Tanong ni Manang habang kumukuha ng isa pang plato para kay Aaron. He walked
towards us.

"Uhm, nagjogging po ako Manang."

Manang raised an eyebrow. "Nagjogging? Eh bat hindi ka man lang pawis? Niloloko mo
ba ako iho?"

Nagkamot naman ng ulo si Aaron. "Natuyo na po ang pawis ko kasi nung pabalik na po
ako galing sa pagjjogging ay nilakad ko pauwi." Mukhang hindi parin naniniwala si
Manang pero tumango nalang siya. "Ganun ba? Sige upo ka na sa tabi ni Cassidy. Kain
na tayo."

Umupo nga siya sa tabi ko at kumuha ng kanin pero bigla uling nagsalita si Manang.
"Iho anong nangyari sa braso mo? Dumudugo!" Bulalas nito. Napatinging ako sa braso
nya at nakitang may sugat nga.

"What happened?" Nagaalala kong tanong. "Napatid po ako nung nagjjogging ako. May
bato kasi. Hindi ko napansin."

Manang tsked. "May first aid kit ba dito? Gamutin natin yan ng hindi maimpeksyon."

"Nasa kwarto ko po, bottom drawer." Sagot nya, nagmamadaling tumayo si Manang para
kuhanin ang kit. Ng wala na si Manang ay tinanong ko uli siya. "What really
happened?"

He just grinned and stole a kiss from me. "Nagasgas nung dumaan ako sa bintana mo."

26
Dalawang linggo na ang nakalipas simula nung sumunod dito si Manang. At isang buwan
na kami dito sa Bicol. Everything's okay. In fact ay masaya nga kami. May mga
kaibigan na kami dun. Pero ngayon, heto't pabalik kami ng Manila.

Oras lang naman ang itatagal namin sa Manila pero feeling ko namimiss ko na agad
ang Bicol.

"Are we there yet?" I asked impatiently while fidgeting with the hem of my dress.
I'm all dolled up while Aaron looks debonair in his black tux. "Not yet. You've
asked that question for six times already."
I knitted my brows. "Really?" He smiled and reached for my hand while his eyes were
still focused on the road. He kissed the back of my hand and set it down again.
"Really." He answered.

Napangiti ako sa gesture nya. He never fails to show me just how much he loves me.
Tumahimik na lang ako at nahintay. After thirty minutes ay inihinto nya ang
sasakyan nya sa tapat ng church. Bumaba kami mula sa kanyang matte black Audi r8.

I told him that I prefer to ride a bus from Bicol to Manila. He had no qualms about
it. Hindi nya naman kami pwedeng ipasundo sa chauffeur nya. Masyadong malayo, at
malalaman nila Aling Pacing ang totoong estado namin sa buhay.

Ayokong iwasan nila kami at mailang sila samin. Sasabihin din naman namin eh, pero
hindi pa siguro sa ngayon.

Aaron opened the car door for me. Inalalayan niya rin ako sa pagbaba. Nakasukbit
ang braso ko sa braso nya at magkasbay kaming naglakad. We entered the church and
Cyrelle's grinning face greeted us.

"Wooooah! Kayo uli?" She asked, amazed. Tumango ako at nakipagbeso sa kanya.
Nginitian nya naman si Aaron.

"Nice to see you again, Cy." Sambit nya. Cy checked him out. "Wow, looking good.
San nga pala kayo naglulungga ngayon at kahit si Alvido ay hindi nakakaalam?"
Nakataas ang kilay na tanong nya.

"Bicol." I answered casually. Her jaw dropped. "What? Are you serious?" My
expression spoke for me. Napahawak siya sa ulo nya. "Unbelievable." She muttered,
still in a daze.

Tinawanan lang namin siya. Maya maya ay tinawag na kami dahil magsisimula na ang
binyag. Grabe, ang cute ng pamangkin ko. Jared Aldrey G. Gutierrez. Napangiti ako,
sana pag kami ni Aaron nagkaanak kasing cute nya.

Anak agad? San galing yun? Masyado akong nagiisip ng mga bagay bagay. Nailing ako
sa sarili ko. Natapos agad ang binyag. Picture taking naman sa harap ng altar.

Lumakas ang tibok ng puso ko ng humarap ako sa Kanya. Lord, thank you for giving
this guy to me. Hinapit ako ni Aaron sa bewang at nagkadikit ang katawan namin.

He smiled at the camera, so I did too. *click*

"Another one." Sabi nung gay photographer. Inakbayan ako ni Aaron this time.
*click*

"Oh last one, wacky guys!"

Nagdulingdulingan ako, ewan ko kay Aaron kung ano yung pose nya. "One. Two."

Bigla nya akong hinalikan sa pisngi, I was too shocked to react. "Three!" *click*

He grinned at me afterwards. I pouted at him and he pinched my cheeks. "Try not to

be too cute, okay? Para hindi ako masyadong mabaliw sayo." Malambing nyang saad. I
put my arms around his neck and tiptoed to give him a peck.

"Let's stay like this forever." Bulong ko bago sumandal sa balikat nya. Kinulong
nya ko sa mahigpit nyang yakap bago sumagot. "As you wish."
Bumitaw din kami agad sa isa't isa dahil nakakahiya sa mga tao. Nginisian ako ni
Cyrelle. Katabi nya ngayon si Aldrin. "Hoy, I saw the pictures. Kayong dalawa grabe
ha! Langgamin kayo dyan. Hindi nyo to kasal paalala lang." Nangaasar na sambit nya.

"Whatever Cy." Maikling sagot ko habang kinukuha sa kanya si Jared. This little guy
is just too adorable to resist.

"Bakit hindi nalang kaya kayo magpakasal? Mahal nyo naman ang isa't isa."
Pangungulit pa ng magaling kong pinsan. I rolled my eyes at her. "Hindi pa daw siya
handa. I respect her decision. I'm willing to wait anyway."

My heart jumped when he said those. It makes me want to love him more. Nangiti
nalang ako. Ibinalik ko ang atensyon ko kay baby Jared na hinahaplos ang mukha ko.
"Aww, I wanna pinch your pudgy cheeks so bad."

"Tuwang tuwa ka sa anak ko ha, bakit kasi hindi nalang kayo mag-anak na dalawa." Cy
won't stop jesting me, Aaron chuckled. "Well gagalingan ko ang pagkayod para
makabuo."

Nanlaki ang matang siniko ko ang tyan nya. "Ow!" Pinandilatan ko ang tumatawang
mokong.

"Goodluck pre." Natatawang sabi ni Aldrin bago sila naghigh five na dalawa. Inabot
ko na si Jared kay Cy. Pumunta na kami sa reception. Buffet sya. Nakangiting
lumapit ako sa buffet table habang may hawak na plato.

I was half praying na sana ay may lobster. Please Lord. Let there be lobster. Let
there be lobster. Paulit ulit ko yung sinasabi sa utak ko. Aaron's right behind me,
sabi nya kanina sabihin ko lang daw sa kanya ang mga gusto ko at siya nalang daw
ang kukuha ng food but I declined.

Lobster, lobster, loster. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla akong nagcrave sa lobster.
Pero nakarating na ako sa dulo pero wala akong nakitang lobster. Gumuho yung mundo
ko. "Something wrong babe?" He set down his plate that instant and cupped my face.

I didn't answer, he looked into my eyes. "Hey, anong problema? Why is the love of
my life frowning?" He looked genuinely worried.

"Walang lobster." Nagkunot noo sya sa sagot ko. "Yun ba yung dahilan kung bat ka
nakasimangot? How many lobsters do you want? Ibibili kita."

My face lit up. "Talaga?" He nodded. I vehemently hugged him and held up three
fingers. "Sige, basta wag ka ng malungkot."

I smiled at him, pasta nalang ang kinain ko. Nawalan din naman ako ng gana. So,
kahit kumakain pa si Aaron ay pinilit ko na syang umuwi. "Sige na sweetheart uwi na
tayo please." I even batted my lashed to seduce him.

He was smiling like an idiot. "Why are you smiling like that?" I asked.

"Say that again."

"Say what again?"

"Yung tinawag mo sakin kanina." Nagisip muna ko bago ko narealize kung ano yung
gusto nyang sabihin ko. "Sweetheart." I repeated.

Napapikit siya. Para siyang tanga. "God, that sounds nice."

"Uwi na tayo sa Bicol sweetheart. Ayaw ko na dito." Ungot ko, he grinned before
kissing my lips. Nagsmudge tuloy lipstick ko.

"Can't help it. You look so damn adorable babe. Tara, paalam na tayo kila Cy."
Tuwang tumayo ako at hinanap namin sila Aldrin. Nakita naman namin sila agad. They
were talking to their friends. They saw us and excused themselves.

"Cyrelle, Drin. Thanks. We need to go. Babalik na kami sa Bicol eh." Aaron
explained to Cy who was creasing her brows. "Why so early?"

"Nag-aaya na umuwi eh."

"Agad agad? Hindi ba kayo magsstay muna dito sa Manila kahit one week lang?" Tanong
nya. "Hindi eh, sorry. Ito lang talaga ang dahilan kung bakit kami lumuwas. Plano
talaga naming umuwi din after this." Aaron answered.

Tinaasan na naman tuloy ako ng kilay ni Cy. "Ipinagkakait mo ba ang boyfriend mo sa

buong sangkatauhan?" Aaron and I both grinned. "Of course not." Depensa ko.

"Tse. Oh sige na. Thanks for coming. Have a safe trip." Sabi nya. I approached her
and hugged her. "Stay strong, you guys." I told them.

Aldrin threw me a sideway glance before giving me a smile. "Kayo rin."

Nagfist bump sila ni Aaron bago kami tuluyang lumabas sa hotel. Pinagbuksan nya ako
ng car door again tapos sumakay na ko sa front seat. Sumakay narin siya at umupo sa
driver's seat. He started the car's engine.

"I'm excited to go back." Nangigiting saad ko na akala mo ba ay taon ang ginugol

namin dito. He smiled. "Me too. Alam mo kung bakit?"

"Why?" Tanong ko.

He grinned and winked at me. "Kailangan ko pang kumayod eh."

27
"Alis na ako chief. Wag kang maglakad lakad ha?" Nakangiting sabi nya bago ako
hinatak para yakapin. It's 9 am in the morning and I forced myself to get up from
bed so that I could at least kiss him goodbye before he go.

"Opo. Ingat ka din." We stayed in that position a minute too long that's why Manang
Soling smacked us with her newspaper. She glared at a grinning Aaron. "Ito naman si
Manang. Eto na po bibitaw na." Nakangiting sabi nya, umiling iling lang si Manang
at bumalik na uli sa kusina.

"Oh sige na. Alis ka na." Pagkaraan ay sambit ko. He puckered his lips, signaling
me to kiss him. And I did. It was a short kiss but it was enough to make us both
smile.

"Sige na, bye. See you later." Tatalikod na sana siya at lalabas ng bahay ng
sigawan ko siya. "Aaron Ceyx Monteverde!"

Lumingon siya, bakas ang kalituhan sa mukha. "May nakakalimutan ka yata?" Sambit
ko. Nagkunot noo siya ngunit napalitan din ito ng ngiti. "I love you." Usal nya.

"Love you too."

-
"Pasensya na Aerold pero hindi kita mapagbibigyan." Isasara ko na sana ang pinto
ngunit hinarang nya ang binti nya. Inis na muli ko itong binuksan. "What the hell
is your problem?!"

"You are my problem. Please Cassidy. Huling beses mo naman na akong makakaharap eh.
Pagbigyan mo na ko." Pagsusumamo nya, pinagdikit pa nya yung dalawang palad nya but
he only earned a cold stare from me.

"Just go away Aerold. Bumalik ka nalang sa New York at wag mo na akong guluhin. Wag
mo na kaming guluhin." I forced myself to remain calm even though I was really
pissed off.

"Cassidy mamaya na ang flight ko pabalik sa New York. You won't be seeing me
anymore after this. I won't be bugging the two of you after this." He begged. He
even knelt in front of me. Half-panicking, I motioned him to stand up but he
refused.

Shit, where's Manang Soling when I need her? She went to the dirty market a while
ago but she hasn't come back yet.

"Hindi ako tatayo hangga't hindi ka pumapayag. Please Cassidy, have one last dinner
with me." I kicked his shin because of frustration. He looks pathetic right now.

"Tumayo ka na dyan. Whatever you do, I won't have dinner with you. I have a
boyfriend Aerold. Keep that in mind." Tatalikod na sana ko pero hinatak nya yung
kamay ko kaya napabalik ako.

"Hindi kita gustong iblackmail, kaya please lang. Just come with me peacefully."
Naningkit ang mata ko sa galit. Iblackmail?! Gago ba siya? He can't do that to me!

Tinawanan ko lang siya ng patuya. "Oh yeah? At ano ang ipangbablackmail mo sakin
ha? Sasabihin mo ba kay Aaron na may iba akong lalaki? Psh, he won't believe you.
He trusts me Aerold."

He raised an eyebrow. "Don't underestimate me. You do not know what I am capable of
doing. " Madiing saad nya. Pumiksi ako sa hawak nya.

"He will never believe you! Kahit anong gawin mo hindi siya maniniwala sayo! He
knows that I'm inlove with him!" I shrieked, he chuckled and stood up.

"I can almost imagine his face when I tell him that it's me you love. I can almost
imagine how red his face will get, how tight he will clench his fists and how hard
he will grit his teeth."

He disgusts me. He's sick. Parehas lang sila ni Alvido, they would do anything to
get what they want. They want me to succumb to their will. Pero hindi na ako
papayag, I smiled an evil smile and inched forward. "Do you really think Aaron will
buy your crap?"

He regarded me with an amused expression. Then he put his hand on his pocket and
pulled out his phone. He fidgeted with his phone for a while then he raised it up
so that I could see.

Unti unting nawala yung ngiti ko ng makita ko yung picture sa phone nya. My heart
was drumming inside my body. "You're right, he might not believe me if I tell him,
but this. This photo will convince him otherwise."

My knees buckled. "When was that taken?" Nanginginig na tanong ko. On his phone was
a picture of us kissing. It was obviously a stolen shot.

"About a year ago, in the bar, when we met. You were drunk and you pulled me in for
a kiss. My friend who happens to be at the bar that night saw us and captured this.
Candid isn't it?" He looked at it again and a cruel smile formed on his lips.

Napapikit ako ng mariin. I don't know what to do. Aaron will be furious when he
sees this. He's a nice person but he is also scary when he gets really angry. And
I'm betting my life that the picture will put him in that state again.

Kung kelan naman okay na kami, tsaka may ganito. Kung kelan masaya na kami biglang
susulpot si Aerold para guluhin ang lahat. I can't afford to lose Aaron. I can't.

"Sasabihin ko kay Aaron na kaya ako bumalik dito sa Pilipinas ay para sunduin ka.
Sasabihin ko sa kanya na naging tayo sa New York but you had to go back here. I'll
tell him that you wanted to run away with me and continue our lost love but you're
afraid of hurting him."

Umiikot ikot siya sakin habang sinasabi niya yun. He played with the strands of my
hair, twirling it in his fingers and tossing it in whichever direction he prefers.

"I'll tell him that the real reason you came to Bicol is to wait for me. I'll tell
him that we're secretly having an affair. I'll-"

"Stop." My voice came out hoarse. He did stop and I saw his eyes bore down on mine.
"Stop. W-wag mong ipakita. I'll.. I'll come with you."

He slid his phone on his pocket and grinned. "See? Kaya mo naman pala
makipagnegotiate Cassidy eh." Hinaplos nya ang pisngi ko but I slapped his hand
away.

"You do realize that I hate you, right? You do realize that the only reason I'm
doing this because I have no other choice. You disgust me Aerold. I hate you for
doing this to me." Nanginginig na sambit ko.

Kinuha nya ang braso ko at isinukbit ito sa braso nya, kaya nakaabrisyete na ako sa
kanya. He patted my hand. "People do stupid things for the ones they love."

"Eat Cassidy. Hindi kita dinala dito para titigan ang mga pagkain." Nakangising
saad ni Aerold. I shot him a death stare before picking up my fork and knife to cut
the steak. He took me to a low class hotel restaurant.

Kami lang nga ang kumakain dito ngayon and I don't know why. I drank the wine which
was poured to my wine glass a while ago. "I said eat. Isang subo pa lang busog ka
na?" Tila naiinis ng tanong nya.

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "I lost my appetite the moment you appeared on our
doorway." Totoo naman, wala akong gana. In fact I'm starting to feel sleepy. I just
wanna go home and catch some Z's.

"You're too harsh on me don't you think?" He pouted but I just wanted to splash
wine on his face and wipe off that smug expression. But I'm starting to feel dizzy.
My head started lolling. I even dropped my utensils.

My vision tunneled then turned blurry. But I still saw him standing up from his
chair to come near me. His arms were outstretched, trying to give me support but I
swatted his hands away.
My dizziness is unabling me to see my surroundings. I dropped my wine glass and it
shattered on the floor, shards of glass scattered.

"Cassidy." He called, but his voice and everything else was fading away. My vision
is failing me, the entire place is now tinted black. I felt him carry me but I
couldn't react anymore.

Before I fully lost consciousness, I heard him utter eight words.

"I hope you can forgive me after this."

28
I woke up with a splitting headache. It feels like someone dropped an anvil on top
of my head. I looked beside me and discovered that Aaron wasn'r beside me anymore

And that's when I saw it. The bedsheets, my blanket, the walls. Wala ako sa bahay
namin! My brain started sending alarms. I sat bolt upright and was shocked to see
that I was only wearing my bra and underwear. I gripped the blanket tightly as I
tried to recall what happened.

Aerold! Nanlaki ang mata ko ng maalala ko ang lahat. He did this! Dammit! He asked
me to go out with him and I had no choice.

He must've put something on my wine. Fuck.

I did a quick inspection on my body and was relieved to find out that nothing
happened between the two of us. I saw my clothes above the bedside table, already
neatly folded.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit nya to ginawa, he stripped my clothes from me but he
didn't take advantage of me. Maari kayang nakunsensya siya at the last moment?

What time is it? My eyes scanned the room to look for a clock and my jaw dropped
open when I saw that it was already 11:00 pm.

My heart was seized with panic. Baka nag-aalala na si Manang at si Aaron!

Nagmamadaling kinuha ko ang mga damit at nagbihis. When I went out of the hotel the
receptionist smiled and bade goodbye but I was too distraught to compose a reply.

Hindi ko alam kung saan ako sasakay. Heck, I don't know this place. I ran towards a
woman who was about to cross the street. "Miss, miss excuse me. I'm lost, please
help me."

Mukha naman siyang mabait at nagaalalang tinignan nya ako. "San ka ba nakatira
Miss?"

I paused to think. "Uhm sa may Santa Monica po. I have no money for transport. Baka
po meron kayo dyan." Halos nagmamakaawa kong saad. It's a good thing alam ko ang
pangalan ng lugar namin.

She gave me a one hundred peso bill and I hugged her out of glee. "Naku salamat po
talaga! Salamat po!" Nginitian nya ako at tinuro sakin kung saan ako dapat sumakay.
I boarded a jeepney and told him to drop me at Santa Monica. I paid and pocketed my
change.

Nung nakababa na ako ay pamilyar na sakin ang lugar, naglakad ako pauwi. For sure
ay 12 midnight na. Nung nasa tapat na ako ng bahay ay tila kumakalabog ang puso ko.
Magagalit sakin si Aaron, he will be furious.

Hindi ako nagpaalam kanina, so he's probably out of his mind worrying to death
about me. Napapikit ako, this is it. I opened the door, all I can see was darkness.
I flipped the light switch open and was shocked to see the inside of the house.

Basag yung tv, dahil nakatumba ito sa lapag. The bamboo sofa was out of its place,
it was upside down. The mirror which hung on the wall is smashed into pieces in the
floor. All in all, the house was in chaos.

Natakot ako, baka mamaya ay may nanloob sa bahay at sinira ang mga gamit.
Nahihintakutang sumigaw ako, "Aaron?! Manang! Asan po kayo?! Okay lang ba kayo?!"
Tumakbo ako papunta sa kusina at nagulat ng makita ko ang nanlilisik na mata ni
Aaron na nakatingin sakin.

There were 4 empty bottles of beer above the table. Nginisian nya ako agad at
tinignan ako mula ulo hanggang paa. "So you're home. The filthy whore is finally
home." Nanunuyang sabi nya.

Nangunot ang noo ko. Whore? Me? Anong ginawa ko? Why is he like this? Dahil ba
lasing siya? I felt pain piercing my heart again and again but I forced it down.

"Anong nangyari dito sa bahay? Akala ko may nanloob na. I was worried." Mahinahong
tanong ko although my pulse was racing.

"Anong paki mo? Worried?! You were worried?! Eh ano pa kaya ako nung umuwi akong
wala ka dito at hindi rin alam ni Manang kung nasaan ka!" He kicked the nearby
chair and I shut my eyes tightly.

"Aaron, I'm sorry. K-kasi ano.." I couldn't think of the proper lie and I don't
wanna lie. But I don't want to anger him more. "Ano Cassidy?" He was gritting his
teeth.

"Naglalakad lakad tapos naligaw a-ako. I don't know how to come back here and-"

"PUTANGINA NAMAN! MAGSISINUNGALING KA NALANG HINDI MO PA GALINGAN! Ang sabihin mo

nagpagamit ka ng katawan kay Aerold! Bullshit!" Tumayo siya sa upuan and clenched
his fists. He balled them and I can see his knuckles turning white.

"A-aaron, san mo nalaman yan? That's not true and you know that." Nanginginig na
saad ko, tears trickling on my cheeks. He threw me a look of distaste.

"Nakakadiri ka! NAKAKADIRI KA NARIRINIG MO?! Nandidiri ako sayo! I loved you and
all you did was play with my feelings. All you did was take me for granted. All you
did was leave and cheat!" His eyes were also watering. Nilapitan ko siya but he
held his hand up. "Wag kang lalapit Cassidy. Please wag kang lumapit." His voice
broke.

"Aaron whatever Aerold told you is not true. Maniwala ka naman sakin oh." I begged,
I reached for his hand pero iniwas nya ang sarili nya. It hurts even more.
Pinunasan ko yung mga luha pero patuloy lang sila sa pag agos.

"Mahal kita! Mahal na mahal kita kaya hindi ko magagawang magpagamit sa iba! How
could you say that to me? I thought you love me? I thought you trusted me?" I
asked, my voice hoarse and unsteady.

"Yun nga eh. Pinagkatiwalaan kita. Pinagkatiwalaan kita when in fact I shouldn't
have. Kulang pa ba yung pagmamahal ko sayo?! KULANG PA BA HA?!" Tinulak nya yung
water dispenser and it came crashing down. I sobbed.
"Bakit ang dali mong maniwala? I didn't cheat on you! I love you too much to even
think about cheating! I love you too much and I thought you knew about that. Isang
sabi lang ni Aerold naniwala ka na!" I shouted. I was frustrated and hurt and I
don't understand anything anymore.

Napasabunot siya sa buhok niya. He fished for his iPhone in his pocket and waved it
angrily in front of my face. "Now tell me Cassidy, bakit hindi ako maniniwala?" I
detected pain in his voice.

Tinignan ko yung pinapakita nya at napaatras ng makita ang isang litrato namin ni
Aerold. Magkayakap sa isang kama at nababalutan lamang ng isang kumot.

It was the same room! This photo was taken a while ago. Napapikit ako at sinubukang
pigilan ang luhang nagbabadyang lumabas sa mga mata ko. But they escaped anyway.

This was his purpose for asking me out. Gusto nyang sirain kami, magalit sakin si
Aaron. And he succeeded.

"Ngayon sabihin mo sakin na hindi ikaw to! Ngayon mo sabihin na mahal mo ako!
Ngayon mo sabihin na dapat pagkatiwalaan kita!" He trembled with rage and I bowed
down, crying.

"Bakit hindi ka makasagot? Ikaw to diba?! THIS IS YOU RIGHT HERE AND DON'T YOU
FUCKING DENY IT CASSIDY! IKAW TO DIBA?! DIBA?" I didn't answer, he held my arms and
forced me to look at his eyes. "DAMMIT ANSWER ME! DIBA IKAW TO?!"

Umiiyak na tumango ako, he let go of my arm and threw his iphone on the wall. He
punched the wall and his hand bled. Lumapit ako agad para pigilan siya. "Aaron I
can explain! Please let me explain."

Tinignan nya ako ng masama, his chest was rising and falling. "Ano pang ieexplain
mo?! That you got tired of waiting for me to come home so you did it with him?! Ha?
Napakasalaula nyo! Isinend nyo pa talaga sakin! So you could rub it in my skin! How
long have you two been doing this? Gano katagal mo na akong pinagmumukhang tanga?!"

I shook my head rapidly. "H-hindi kita niloloko, maniwala ka please! Aerold set me
up!"

Tinawanan nya ako ng patuya. "And you expect me to believe that?!"

"Yun ang totoo, paniwalaan mo naman ako." I begged. Non stop yung mga luha ko, ang
sakit lang. Ang sakit lang na ayaw nya akong paniwalaan. Na ganun pala ang tingin
nya sakin.

"I'm done believing your lies Cassidy. I'm done." Mahina ngunit puno ng emosyong
sabi nya. Tinalikuran nya na ako but I ran after him and hugged him from behind.

I sobbed like a baby. He kept on removing my arms and when he was successfully able
to do it nilingon nya ko. Wala ng emosyon yung mukha nya.

"Pack your bags. We're leaving for Manila."

29
"Aaron. Please listen to me." I gripped his hand but he sighed and pulled his hand
free. He stopped his Audi in front of Alvido's house. My old house.

"Aaron listen, Aerold blackmailed me into coming with him. I swear-"

"Blackmailed you? What did he use to blackmail you then?" He asked, wearing his
cold expression. Naiiyak na naman ako pero pinigilan ko na.

"A picture of the two of us.. k-kissing." My voice trailed off. Napapikit ako ng
sapakin nya ang manibela ng malakas. "At ngayon ineexpect mo na magtiwala ako sayo?
Na maniwala ako na hindi ka nagpagamit ng katawan sa kanya? Na ako ang mahal mo?
You're a sick liar Cassidy."

Umiling iling ako ng paulit ulit. "It was taken a year ago! I was drunk and-"

"So isang taon na kayong magkarelasyon ganon? So pinaglaruan nyo lang pala ako sa
mga palad nyo! Do you love the satisfaction hurting me gives you?!" He was gritting
his teeth.

"No, no, no. Hindi ko gustong saktan ka! Sinabi ko na sayo sinet up nya tayo,
plinano nya to. He wanted to tear us apart, to make you hate me, to ruin our
relationship, and looking at us now? I can see that he succeeded." Mahina at
nasasaktang saad ko, napasabunot siya sa buhok nya.

"Get out of my car Cassidy." Nanghihinang sambit nya. I tried to come closer but he
blocked me with his arm. "Just please. Don't make this harder for both of us. Just
get out of my car. Please." His voice was almost cracking and I swallowed a lump
forming on my throat.

"Aaron I love you." I said. Hopelessly wishing that saying those words would
magically fix everything up. But it didn't.

He punched the steering wheel repeatedly, again and again and again that I lost
count of just how many punches he threw. "GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR CASSIDY! GET
OUT OR I'LL HAVE TO DRAG YOU. I'LL DRAG YOU IF I HAVE TO!"

Nahintakutang binuksan ko ang pintuan at lumabas. Nakatayo lang ako sa gilid ng

kotse nya. Tinted ang salamin kaya hindi ko makita kung anong ginagawa nya sa loob.
Kinatok ko ito ng paulit ulit.

Binaba nya ang windshield at matalim akong tinitigan. "I'm sorry. Magingat ka p-
pauwi." Nauutal na sagot ko, I was pretending that everything was okay. Na simpleng
away lang to. Na magiging okay din kami.

"Nandidiri ako sayo." Utas nyang puno ng diin at poot. My heart breaks, shatters in
a million pieces. Hindi ko kaya yung mga naririnig ko sa kanya. Nasasaktan ako na
hindi ko man lang maipagtanggol yung sarili ko.

Pero mas nasasaktan ako na ang baba pala ng tingin nya sakin. Pinilit ko paring
magpakatatag. Kahit nanginginig na yung mga tuhod ko ay nginitian ko parin siya.
"Drive safely."

Malamig na hinagod nya ako ng tingin.

"We're over."

"Ang tanga tanga mo alam mo yun?" Psyche snorted while pacing back and forth inside
my room. Malamyang nginitian ko lang siya. "Alam ko."

Kaaalis lang ni Alvido dito sa mansion, inaasikaso yata ang kumpanya naming muntik
ng bumagsak kundi nya lang ako ibinenta kay Aaron.
Isang linggo na simula nung makabalik kami ni Aaron sa Manila. Isang linggo na
simula nung makipagbreak siya sakin. At isang linggo na simula nung huli ko siyang
nakita.

He didn't try to contact me after that night. He completely cut ties with me. Kaya
eto ako ngayon, mukhang tangang nagmumukmok. Psyche and Theia would keep me
company.

"You look stupid sulking here. Let's go out and meet some guys! Let's party and
drink!" Theia said and eyed me through the vanity mirror.

"Theia please. Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin sayo, wala ako sa mood na magbar."
Niyakap ko ang unan na katabi ko at mahigpit na niyakap ito.

Naalala ko na naman si Aaron. Kumain na kaya yun? Ano kayang ginagawa nya ngayon?
Is he hurting too?

Fresh tears flowed down my cheeks. I harshly wiped it away. Tumingin ako sa
ceiling. "You've turned our offer to go to bars for like five times already. Sure
ka bang ikaw si Cassidy?" Nakataas kilay na tanong ni Psyche.

"Yan ang nagagawa ng pagtira sa Bicol. Nawawalan ng social life. In short.."

"Nagiging losyang." Sabay nilang sabi at naghigh five pa. I rolled my eyes on them.
"I'm not losyang. Lay off me. Magbar kayo kung gusto nyo wag nyo ako idamay."

Nagtalukbong ako ng kumot pero hinatak nila. I groaned. I was mildly annoyed. "Ano
ba, leave me alone girls!"

Theia frowned. "Since you went back napapansin ko na naging temperamental ka na."

"Sensitive pa." Commented a bored Psyche who was fiddling with my hairbrush.

Malamang! Kayo kaya masaktan diba? Tignan ko lang kung di kayo laging maging
mainitin ang ulo at sensitive. I sighed. "Ibili nyo nalang ako ng isang sakong
patatas masaya na ako."

"Grabe ang obsession mo sa patatas ha! Isang linggo ng puro patatas kinakain mo.
Fries, hash brown, mojos! Maawa ka naman sa sarili mo!" Psyche reprimanded.

"Oo nga, what is it with you and potatoes. Simula ng bumalik ko palaging yun ang
pinapabili mo samin. Nung isang araw nga daw sabi ng katulong pinabili mo daw siya
ng sangkaterbang mashed potatoes!" Theia butted in.

Nanahimik lang ako. Bakit ba? Sa gusto ng patatas eh. Yun na nga lang ang
nagpapasaya sakin.

Tinabihan ako ni Psyche at niyakap. "Stop na sa pag-eemo ha? Ang chaka lang. Bar
tayo tonight. This time we won't take no for an answer."

I shook my head. "Ayoko talaga." Tanggi ko pero naglabas na ng body-hugging dress

si Theia mula sa closet ko at nilapag ito sa kama. "You're going with us. Whether
you want to or not. Kung kinakailangang paliguan ka namin at pwersahang isoot sayo
to then gagawin namin."

"You're not serious!" Nanlalaki ang matang bigkas ko. She smirked. "Afraid not."

"Hindi namin hahayaang mapanis ka sa kwarto mo. Masyado kang maganda para
magmukmok." Psyche said.

Hours later, the three of us were speeding along the road inside Psyche's BMW.
Andromeda, here we come. Night life.

Nagpark si Psyche at bumaba na kami. The two pasted smiles on their red-painted
lips. While I? Well I tried not to frown too much. We entered the bar and the loud
music seems to be welcoming us.

A bouncer ushered us inside and Theia thanked him. We sat on different bar stools
and they ordered their usual type of liquor. "Don't tell me tititigan mo lang kami
all night? Drink." Sabi ni Psyche bago sumimsim ng bloody mary.

"One martini please." Order ko. Hindi nila ako titigilan kung hindi ako oorder so
ayun. The bartender gave me my order and I stared at it for a while.

"Iniinom yan hindi tinititigan." Theia commented and I sighed. I took the glass and
sipped it. Pero hindi ko alam kung bakit napangitan ako sa lasa. I spit it out.

"It tastes bad!" Naiinis na sabi ko. Nagkunot noo sila, Psyche took my martini and
sipped too. "It doesn't taste bad Cassi. Normal lang naman ang lasa, parang dati
lang. Diba madalas mo nga tong inoorder dati? Bat ayaw mo na?" Nagtatakang tanong
nya.

I shook my head. "Hindi ko rin alam. Basta ayaw ko nyan! At pwede bang umuwi na
tayo? Nahihilo na naman ako dito." Mareklamong saad ko.

"Madalas ka nalang nahihilo Cassidy." Theia pointed out. Tapos nagtinginan silang
dalawa ni Psyche. Then they dragged me inside the restroom and locked the door
behind us.

They fixed me with a penetrating stare, then after a while of defeaning silence.
Theia broke the ice. "Umamin ka nga samin Cassidy.."

"Are you pregnant?"

30
"Ang tanga mo talaga. Mas tanga ka pa sakin. I wanna pull every single strand of
your hair." Puno ng iritasyong sambit ni Psyche. Inis na binalingan lang ako ng
tingin ni Theia na para bang hindi parin siya makapaniwala.

"Ano ngayon ang gagawin mo?" Psyche asked. We're inside Theia's condo right now.
The two of them decided to just leave the bar because the festive mood was already
ruined.

"Psyche, please. Hindi pa naman tayo sigurado kung buntis nga ako eh. Malay mo
false alarm lang to." Nakayukong sagot ko. Theia-who was leaning on the living room
wall-tsked.

"False alarm? Iniisip mo bang coincidence lang na palagi kang may morning sickness,
na nagccrave ka sa patatas, na moody ka at na mapili ka sa pagkain. And oh, hindi
ka pa dinadatnan ng monthly period mo."

Nanahimik nalang ako after nyang sabihin yun. I know she's pissed off with me. She
can't believe Aaron and I had unprotected sex. The two of them may be party girls
but the one thing we used to have in common is that we believed that virginity is
an important thing.
Pero ngayon, wala na. I'm no longer a virgin. But the odd thing was, even though
Aaron hates me now, I'm still not regretting giving my v card to him.

Napahaplos ako sa tyan ko ng wala sa oras. Kung sakaling buntis nga ako, then
kailangang malaman ni Aaron na may anak kami. Mamahalin ko ang bata tanggapin nya
man to o hindi.

"Inaantok na ako, bukas nalang natin pagusapan to." Sabi ni Theia. Psyche and I
nodded and we headed to the guestroom. Bago ako matulog, naisip ko na naman ang
Bicol.

Namimiss ko na ang lugar. Namimiss ko na si Aling Pacing, Mang Carding at Kuya

Toto. Pati si Didi na kapitbahay naming ubod ng daldal. Namimiss ko na ang uri ng
buhay na meron ako dun. Namimiss ko si Aaron.

Pinilit kong ipikit ang mga mata ko para matulog kahit na puno ng kaba at agam-agam
ang sistema ko.

Nagising ako ng tanghali na, pupungas pungas akong bumangon. Paglabas ko ng kwarto
ay nakita kong nagluluto ng almusal si Psyche. "Where's Theia?" I asked.

"Pumasok na sa trabaho, alam mo naman yun workaholic. Puro trabaho ang nasa isip.
Anyway, pinaalalahan nya ako na sabihin sayo na contact-in mo daw si Christian."

Napaupo ako sa silya. Oo nga pala, may usapan pala kami ni Christian ngayon. Dahil
1 month and two weeks akong nawala ng walang pasabi ay namroblema siya. He needed
to recruit another talent to substitute me.

At first he was furious when I first appeared on his office. Pero naintindihan nya
naman nung nag explain na ako. I told him that I needed a job at parang blessing
naman na dumating ang isang project.

Mamaya kami magshushoot. Naghilamos muna ako bago bumalik sa kitchen kung saan
nagluluto si Psyche. Tahimik lang siya. I sighed. "Psyche galit ka ba sakin?"

Bumuntong hininga rin siya bago humarap sakin. She wears an unreadable expression.
"Honestly? Yes. Mahal ka namin Cassi kaya naiinis kami pag may katangahan kang
ginagawa. Kasi iniingatan natin ang isa't isa eh. "

Napayuko ako. "I'm sorry." Lumapit sya sakin at tinapik ang balikat ko. "Hindi ka
naman namin matitiis eh. Basta kahit anong mangyari, andito lang kami ni Theia para
sayo."

Naiiyak na niyakap ko siya. They really are the best. Natatawa na ko sa kadramahan
namin, binalikan nya yung niluluto nya tapos ay nagalmusal na kami. Dahil naka1
week leave siya sa work ay sinamahan nya ako sa shoot.

"Fierce look Cassidy! Yan! Perfect!" *click* Shouts the photographer. I put a
finger in my mouth and bit it lightly. *click*

After six hours ay tapos na kami. Naghilamos na ako at nagbihis, I was so effin'
tired. I slumped on the couch on Christian's office. Tinabihan naman ako ni Psyche.
"Kain tayo, treat ko." Christian offered and we nodded with twinkling eyes.

He took us to a restaurant. Tinawagan nya si Altheia at dumating naman ito. The

four of us shared a generous amount of dinner. Ang dami kong gustong kainin. This
is so unlike me.
Tapos puro ako soup. I'm starting to like egg drop soup, it tastes heavenly. "Pang
ilang soup mo na yan Cassi? Aren't you afraid of ruining your diet?" Nakakunot
noong tanong ni Christian. Nagkatinginan si Psyche at Theia.

Napagkasunduan namin na wag munang ipaalam kay Christian. I just grinned at him.
"No. Ang sarap kaya kumain." I answered.

"Ooookay." Naguguluhang tinignan nya ako uli bago pinagpatuloy ang pagkain.

After dinner ay hinatid nya kami sa mall, we told him to stay inside the car dahil
may bibilhin lang kami at babalik din agad.

My heart started pounding when they dragged me towards Watsons. Ninenerbyos na

pinulot ko ang isang pregnancy test kit at mabilis na binayaran ito. Tapos ay
bumalik na kami uli sa sasakyan ni Christian.

He dropped us off at Theia's condo. "Uhm, goodnight girls. Night Theia."

Nagaalangang bati nya. Psyche smirked at him and waved.

"Thanks for the ride." I said, Theia nodded in his direction and he scratched his
head before entering his BMW again. The three of us watched his car speed away. Pag
akyat na pag akyat palang namin ng condo ay nagmamadaling itinulak na nila ako
papasok ng cr.

"Hey stop it! Wait!" Alma ko dahil kinakabahan din ako. Tinaasan ako ng kilay ni
Theia tapos ay tinulak ako papasok ng cr. Napahinga ako ng malalim. I opened the
pack and read the directions.

Sinunod ko yung mga dapat gawin. Two lines ay positive, and one line ay negative.
My heart drummed while I was waiting for the result.

"Wala pa ba?" Psyche asked impatiently. "W-wala pa." Nauutal kong sagot.

Ng pwede ng makita ang resulta ay unti unti ko itong tinignan. Tumakas ang kulay sa
buong mukha ko ng makita ko ang resulta. Gusto kong maiyak at hindi ko na ito
napigilan. Napahagulgol ako.

Theia and Psyche pounded the door. "Cassi! Why are you crying?! Open this door!"
Sigaw ni Theia.

"Sinabi ko na sayo diba nandito lang kami. Hindi mo kailangang sarilinin yan.
Please open this door."

Nanginginig na pinihit ko ang door knob, the moment they saw my crying face, they
pulled me in their arms and enclosed me with a hug. "Based from your reaction, I'm
guessing the result is.."

"Positive." I croaked.

31

Hello kay hadjadello at coffeelover21 na nagpa-flood votes! I am eternally

grateful. ❤

"Theia, I don't know what to do." Humahagulgol paring sambit ko. It's confirmed.
I'm pregnant. It's not that I don't want the baby, I love this child because it's
from my own flesh and blood, ang pinagaalala ko ay ang magiging reaksyon ni Aaron.

"You should tell him." She replied nonchalant. Psyche glared at her as if telling
her that it's not that easy.

"Hindi ko alam kung pano. Natatakot ako sa magiging reaction nya." I sobbed. Psyche
patted my back to appease my worries. "Friend hindi nya pwedeng hindi tanggapin ang
bata, aba parehas kayong nasarapan nung ginawa nyo yan no!"

Nailing nalang si Theia. "Cassi, hindi pwedeng hindi mo sasabihin sa kanya to. He
has the right to know. And he has an obligation now. He's obligated to marry you."

I bowed my head while tears continued to fall. Obligation. Ang sakit naman na
kailangan nya lang akong pakasalan dahil yun ang dapat hindi dahil yun ang gusto
nya.

They both hugged me. "Ilang beses na namin to sinasabi sayo, but in case you feel
sad or alone, know that you can always count on us. We will never leave you."

It's been a week since I found out I was carrying Aaron's child in my womb. I've
been extra cautious in my movements and I don't go to bars anymore. I still haven't
told him because I don't have the courage to.

We haven't seen or heard from each other in two weeks and it really pains me to
think that he's okay without me.

Right now, I'm taking a stroll inside the mall. I saw a little cute pink dress for
babies on display. It really caught my attention. I unconsciously caressed my still
flat womb. It's becoming a habit, lately.

Girl ka kaya or boy? I wonder what I'll name you. I want a girl but of course kahit
boy ka I'll still love you. I smiled at that thought. I continued window shopping.
I'm really not in the mood to buy stuff so I just passed every boutique I saw. When
I got tired, I entered the nearest Mcdo.

Ang tagal ko ng hindi kumakain dito, Psyche and Theia kase. They would always say
that fast food is dirty and very unhealthy. And of course, being the obedient
friend that I really am, I spent my life avoiding fast food chains.

I ordered for large fries and omg! Is that really ice cream above the cola? What do
they call this thing? Ohhhh. Coke float. I was utterly amazed.

"Excuse me miss? Pwedeng makiupo?" I looked up only to see a handsome guy with
perfect set of teeth smiling at me, while I, the great Cassidy Margaux Hurdiss is
gaping at him.

"Sure." I gave him a small smile. I don't have a crush on him. I just know how to
appreciate aesthetic value. Hindi porket gwapo crush ko na. Aaron will always be
the only one. I let out a sad sigh and ate my food half-heartedly.

He set his tray down on the table and started munching his food. He offered me his
burger, which I refused because it just doesn't seem right to share food with a
stranger you've only met for like three seconds. My father taught me not to trust
strangers pa naman.

"Ano nga palang pangalan mo?" He asked, I frowned. Paki mo? Pero syempre di ko
sinabi yun. Sapakin ako nito eh. "Ano, uhm. Cassidy."

He smiled. "I'm Rad." He offered his hand and I shook it. Napakapormal naman nitong
taong to.

"Nice to meet you, Rad." Sabi ko para hindi naman masabing rude ako.

"So, Cassidy, bakit magisa ka lang?"

Before I could answer his question, my phone rang. It was Christian. I gave the guy
an apologetic smile before I turned to leave. "Sorry, got to go."

Ngumiti lang siya. "See you when I see you."

Pagkatapos kong suklian ang ngiti nya ay naglakad na ako palabas ng Mcdo. Sinagot
ko ang tawag ni Manager ng makalayo ako.

"Hello?"

"Theia told me you're pregnant. Is that true Cassidy?!" His voice grumbled and I
had to wince.

"Y-yes. Christian I'm sorry. Plano ko naman talagang sabihin sayo eh, kaso nahihiya
ako." I heard him sigh from the other line.

"Dammit Cassi. Pasalamat ka nalang at kaibigan kita at patapos na ang kontrata mo."
Parang naiimagine kong hinihilot nya ang sentido nya sa loob ng opisina nya habang
nakaupo sa swivel chair.

"Thank you. And Xian, I have to tell you something.." I heaved a sigh, napagisipan
ko nadin to eh. I had to decide. I had to choose. My baby or my career, and the
answer is pretty obvious.

"What is it?" He sounded nervous, as if already having a hunch of what I was about
to say.

"I'm quitting. I'm quitting modeling for good." I heard a sharp intake of breath
and the next thing I heard was a dial tone.

Binabaan nya ako, minutes later I received a message from him saying that I should
meet him at his office tomorrow to talk about the whole thing.

I replied with an Okay. I didn't know what else to say, ang daming gumugulo sa utak
ko. And Aaron tops the list. I checked my wristwatch and saw that it's 11:40 am.
Twenty minutes before his lunch break.

Pupuntahan ko ba sya? What if he pushes me away just like he did before? What if he
ignores me and I end up looking like a nincompoop? What if I tell him we'll be
having a baby, would he be happy? Or would it give him more reason to shun me?
Would he hug me and shout 'I'm gonna be a dad!'? Or would he just turn his back on
me?

The answer to all of that is I don't know. I don't wanna risk the only ounce of
dignity I have left but I don't wanna end up with unanswered questions.

Ayokong isang araw itanong sakin ng anak ko kung bakit wala siyang tatay at hindi
ko kayang sagutin dahil ako mismo hindi nagkaron ng lakas ng loob na sabihin ang
tungkol sa pagbubuntis ko. I visited an OB three days ago at nalaman kong three
weeks na pala ang pinagbubuntis ko.
Nagpahatid ako sa isang kumpanya nya na tatlo silang naghahati-hati. I was really
nervous as I trudged inside the building. I asked where his office was and they
gladly gave me directions.

His secretary might've recognized me because she gave me a warm smile. Siya rin
yung same secretary na nadatnan namin ni Alvido dati dito. "Hello ma'am." She
greeted affably.

My hands felt sweaty as I made my way towards his office door, but Linda-Aaron's
secretary-stopped me. I knitted my brows. "Bawal ba akong pumasok?"

"E-eh ano po maam. Kabilin bilinan po ni Sir wag daw po ako magpapapasok."

"But this is urgent." Giit ko but she only shook her head and told me to wait.

"No, urgent talaga to. Why don't you wanna let me in?" Medyo naiinis ng sabi ko.
Ngumiti lang siya ni kimi. Umupo muna ako sa couch at ng magCR siya ay dali dali na
akong tumayo.

This is it Cassi! Kailangan mo ng sabihin kay Aaron! You shouldn't back out now.
It's now or never!

I pushed Aaron's office door open and what I saw made my knees collapse.

There-seated on his swivel chair-was Aaron, with a girl seated on his lap while
they were torridly kissing.

32
I couldn't control my own rage anymore. Sinugod ko yung haliparot na babae at
hinatak ang buhok nya. Napairit siya sa sakit, nagdidilim na talaga ang paningin ko
sa galit.
"You bitch!" Iwinagayway ko yung buhok nya, she tried to reach for my hair to get
back at me but she failed. Nung binitawan ko yung buhok nya ay iniharap ko siya
sakin at sinampal. Bumakat ang kamay ko sa mukha nya.
She sobbed like the pathetic hoe she really is. Tila dun lang nagproseso ang utak
ni Aaron, humarang sya sa pagitan naming dalawa nung babae. "Fucking hell Cassidy!
Kumalma ka nga!"
Naningkit ang mata ko sa kanilang dalawa, nanginginig parin ako sa sobrang
pagkamuhi. "Get out of my way Aaron." I said while gritting my teeth.
How could he do this to me? How coud he cheat on me? How could he hurt me like
this? Wala na ba talaga siyang paki sakin? Wala na ba kong halaga sa kanya?
"Aaron wag mong hayaang makalapit uli siya sakin! Did you see what she did to me?
Did you see how barbaric she was?" Lumuluhang saad parin nito habang kumapit sa
braso ni Aaron.
Ang hayop na si Aaron naman ay hinaplos yung bahagi ng mukha nung babae na sinampal
ko. Parang pinupunit ang puso ko sa nakikita ko pero pinilit kong magpakatatag.
"If you guys want to have sex then please do it some other time. I have to talk to
Aaron so would you be kind enough to evacuate this area?" Puno ng diin kong tanong
sa babaeng kahalikan nya. But deep inside, I'm breaking in half. All the walls I
built to protect my heart came crashing down the moment I entered this place.
Aaron saw the determined look in my eyes and sighed. Humarap uli siya dun sa babae.
"Hey beautiful. Usap muna kami. I'll text you nalang."
The girl shot me an annoyed look before stomping her foot. "No! She's your ex
right?! Ayoko! I'm gonna stay here. Kung gusto mo siyang makausap then dito lang
ako." She said in a defiant tone.
"Melissa please-"
Aaron was cut off again. "I said no Aaron! Hindi ako aalis! I wanna hear everything
this lascivious harlot has to say."
What did she just call me?! LASCIVIOUS HARLOT? My temper skyrocketed when she said
those two words. Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili kong kunin ang swiss knife ko na
laging nasa pouch ko in case of emergency. She saw it and her eyes widened.
"A-aaron oh my god! She wants to kill me!" She cowered in fear behind him. Nanlaki
rin ang mata ni Aaron. "Cassidy! What the hell?! You're going too far!"
Inilabas ko ang knife part nun at itinutok sa babaeng nagngangalang Melissa.
"Labas!"
"Cassidy I said stop!"
Hindi ako nakinig kay Aaron. Sometimes talaga, dapat na inilalabas ko ang bitch
side ko. Only a few people can unleash the serial killer inside of me.
Nakatutok parin ito kay Melissa. "Lalabas ka o tatapusin ko ang paglalagi mo dito
sa mundo?"
Nagmamadali syang tumakbo palabas. She even fell on floor because her 6-inch
stilettos are giving her walking difficulties. I kept the swiss knife in my pouch
again. Paglingon ko kay Aaron, well he was fuming.
Mariin nya akong hinawakan sa braso at iniupo sa couch. "What the fuck was that
Cassidy?!" His voice reverberated on all four sides of the room. I looked at him
coolly, when in truth, my insides are shaking.
"How dare you? How dare you cheat on me Aaron?" Puno ng inis at hinanakit na tanong
ko. He gave me a sarcastic laugh. "Cheat?! You call that cheating?"
"Yes! At dito pa sa office mo? Wala ka na ba talagang ni katiting na respeto para
sakin?!" My voice cracked and faltered, giving me away.
"Respeto?! Don't you dare talk to me about respect Cassidy! Ikaw ba nirespeto mo ko
nung nagpakama ka kay Aerold? Nirespeto mo ba yung relasyon natin? Heck, you didn't
even respect yourself!"
Tumayo ako at galit na galit na dinuro siya. I was pointing a shaky finger at him
and he doesn't seem to care. "You have no right to accuse me because you do not
know what really happened! Wala ka non! You only saw the picture! Pero wala kang
alam! Tandaan mo yan! You know nothing!" Dinuro duro ko yung dibdib nya. Naiiyak na
ako.
I can still remember that night vividly. Yung gabing sinabihan nya ako ng masasakit
na salita. Yung gabing sinabihan nya ako ng malandi. I hate him. But I love him.
And I don't wanna lose him.
Hindi lang kasi sarili ko ang pinaglalaban ko dito. Pati karapatan ng anak ko.
"A picture paints a thousand words." Mapakla nyang sagot. Inis na tinignan ko siya.
"The problem with some people is that they view a picture the way they want to see
it."
"Just get the hell out of my office. I'm trying to work here." Mapait nyang saad.
Napatayo ako sa couch at hinila siya ng akmang tatalikuran nya ako. "Work?! Trabaho
mo na ba ngayong makipaghalikan sa Melissa na yon? Wow naman! Pati office di
pinalampas ha! Sabihin mo sa kanya na sa susunod na maabutan ko siya dito ay
tutuluyan siya!"
Inis na binalingan nya ako ng tingin na para bang ako pa yung may ginawang
kasalanan. Na para bang ako pa yung mali. "No! Who are you to tell me what to do?
Gagawin ko kung ano ang gusto ko, and you have no say on that Cassidy. And Melissa
is what I want."
Nagcollapse yung legs ko, nanghihinang napaupo ako sa couch. "H-hindi mo naman siya
mahal. You're using her to hurt me, to get back at me, to forget about me. Don't do
this Aaron. Sasaktan mo lang siya. Masasaktan lang natin lalo ang isa't isa."
Halos nagmamakaawa ng sabi ko. My tears fell as my heart broke. Hinawakan ko yung
kamay nya pero tinanggal nya ito.
"Using her? Hindi ko siya ginagamit Cassidy. You're too full of yourself. I like
her."
Umiling ako ng paulit ulit. "No, no! Hindi mo siya gusto! Sinasabi mo yan para
makaganti sakin diba?" Naiiyak kong sabi habang pilit na niyayakap sya. Mukha na
akong tanga at kawawa pero wala akong paki.
Ganito naman pag nagmamahal ka diba? Nagpapakatanga ka.
"We're over." Sabi nya uli, na para bang hindi pa sapat yung mga sinabi nya para
masaktan ako. He turned his back on me but I called him. I called him and told him
the real reason I was here.
"Aaron I'm pregnant. I'm three weeks pregnant." Nakayuko kong saad.
There was heavy silence embracing us. All I could hear was heavy breathing. Hindi
siya nagsasalita so I continued.
"Aaron narinig mo ba ko? Nagbunga yung ginawa natin. D-diba sabi mo hindi mo ko
tatakbuhan? Sabi mo papanagutan mo ko kahit anong mangyari. Sabi mo pakakasalan mo
ko."
I risked one glance and saw him looking towards me. He has no expression. He was
unreadable right now.
"Wag mo naman sana akong iwan sa ere. You promised Aaron, and upto now I'm still
holding on to those promises. You told me you take promises way too seriously. You
told me you've never broken a promise. Ever."
Pagkaraan ng mahabang katahimikan ay narinig ko ang mga yabag nya. Nagtaas ako ng
tingin at nakitang papalapit siya sakin. Without even changing his expression, he
spoke.
"Fine. I'll marry you, Cassidy."
Natuod ako sa kinatatayuan ko ng sabihin nya yun. Ngunit bago pa magbunyi ang
kalooban ko ay yumuko siya at bumulong sa may tenga ko.
"Pero wag kang umasang babalik tayo sa dati. I'm only gonna marry you, because you
are carrying my child."

33

Hello to KreziaAstraquillo! Thank you for voting and commenting! This chapter is
for you. ❤ And guys, I have another story entitled Heaven's Will.
-
"Okay ka lang ba?" Christian asked. I
shook my head and looked out the window, katatapos lang namin pagusapan ang tungkol
sa modeling.
He tried to talk to me into signing another contract again but I refused.
Pangatlong beses nya na akong inaalok pero tanggi ako ng tanggi.
Isang linggo nya na kong kinukulit pero 'sorry' ang palagi kong sagot. Ngayong
magkakanak na ako at ikakakasal na ko in two weeks ay wala na sa priorities ko ang
pagiging model.
In two weeks, I will be Mrs. Cassidy Margaux H. Monteverde.
Ang bilis nga eh, parang hindi agad matatapos ang preparasyon sa kasal, but heck.
I'm marrying a fucking billionaire. Of course he's gonna use his affluence para
mapabilis ang lahat.
I'm only gonna marry you because you are carrying my child. Napapikit ako ng mariin
ng gumuhit ang sakit sa puso ko.
I need not be reminded of the sole reason he's gonna marry me. Pagkatapos nyang
sabihin yon ay tinalikuran nya na ako at umupo sa swivel chair nya.
I took my bag then hastily left. Hindi nya ako hinabol. Kahapon, ng magkita kami
para pag-usapan ang details ng kasal, he was colder and more distant. Pero tiniis
ko yun, tanga ako eh. Masokista ako eh.
Christian snapped his fingers and it brought me back to the real world. "Cassi.
Kanina ka pa lutang." Nag-aalalang saad nya.
Pilit akong ngumiti at pinaglaruan ang mga daliri ko. There was an engagement ring
on my ring finger now and I can't help but feel sad when I remembered how I got it.
Three days after I went to his office, Aaron suddenly appeared in our house. I was
in my room while Manang Soling-who was rehired-was cleaning in the living room.
She called me, and I went down and was shocked to see Aaron in his black three-
piece suit frowning at me. I straightened my hair and consciously combed it with my
fingers.
"Kagigising mo lang?" He asked casually, still having a hint of coldness in his
tone. I nodded. And in that sliver of a second, I thought that I should probably
invite him to have breakfast.
I smiled awkwardly, "Uhm, kumain ka na ba? Anong gusto mong ulam? Magpapaluto ako."
Natataranta kong saad, siya naman ay nagtaas lang ng kilay habang unti unting
lumalapit sakin.
"Hindi na. Don't bother Cassidy. I just dropped by to give you this." Kinuha nya
ang kamay ko at nilagay doon ang isang maliit na bagay. Pag tingin ko ay isa itong
singsing.
It's an engagement ring! It was beautiful and obviously expensive. Pero nawala ang
sumisibol na saya sa puso ko ng pagkabigay niya nito ay walang pasabing tumalikod
na siya.
I should be happy because I was given an engagement ring, right? But why do I feel
hurt more than ever? Why does it feel so wrong? Hinabol ko siya palabas.
He was about to get inside his car when I called him. "Aaron!"
Lumingon siya, with the same frown he gave me a while ago. Sa kawalan ng masabi ay
tumitig nalang din ako sa kanya.
He was searching my eyes, then his lips twisted into a cruel smile. He chuckled.
"Ano Cassidy? Don't tell me you're actually thinking that I would propose to you."
Napayuko ako, kasi yun talaga ang iniisip ko. Who would want to get married without
a formal proposal? What kind of woman would want her engagement ring shoved into
her hands as a proposal?
"C'mon Cassidy. I have no time for those schmaltzy surprise proposals you see on
television. I'm a busy man and you know that." Mariing saad nya. I didn't dare
speak, baka mabasag lang ang boses ko at lalo akong magmukhang kawawa.
He continued speaking, "Let's not pretend that we're a happy couple. Kasi ang
totoo, ginagawa ko lang to not to please you, but for the child."
Napapikit ako ng maalala ko yung pangyayaring yun. I breathed in and out to calm my
nerves and it seemed to work.
Christian reached for his keys above his desk. And for the second time, I was
broken from my reverie. He looked more concerned now. Tumayo sya sa swivel chair
nya at lumapit sakin.
"I don't think you're okay. Tara, ihahatid na kita pauwi." He offered but I smiled
and politely declined. "No need. I can manage."
I took my bag and slung it on my shoulder. "Sigurado ka?" Tumango ako bago
nagpaalam sa kanya. Lumabas ako ng building and headed towards a mall. I decided to
do some shopping.
Nakabili ako ng dalawang dress sa petit monde at isa sa candie's. Tapos nung
papasok na ako sa forever21 ay may nakita akong magandang dress. I reached out for
it but another hand landed on the hanger. So nagkabungguan yung kamay namin.
When I looked up, I saw a bimbo. My eyebrow automatically shot up and her lips
formed into a smug smile. "Hello, Melissa." Nakangiti kong bati sa kanya kahit na
gusto ko siya uling sampalin.
"Cassidy, right? Aaron's.. ex." She let that sentence hang in the air, I smiled
sweetly before I tugged at the dress she was still holding.
"Correction, he's my fiance."
She feigned shock. "Really? Must be really painful to be engaged to someone who no
longer loves you, huh?" Nangiinis na saad nya. Hinila nya rin papunta sa kanya ang
damit pero hindi ko to binitawan.
"That is really none of your business. Now if you please let go of this dress." I
held on to the dress firmly. I don't care if we look silly bickering over a dress.
Tinapunan nya ng tingin ang dress na kanina pa namin pinaghihilaan. "We liked the
same dress. What an awful coincidence, don't you think? Pati ba naman sa damit
parehas tayo ng gusto?" Tumawa siya ng pagak.
Alam kong si Aaron yung tinutukoy nya nung sinabi nya yun, Aaron's the other thing
that we both like.
Instantly my temper rose. Marahas kong hinila ang damit papunta sakin kaya
napabitaw siya. May lumapit na saleslady samin kaya lang ay tinarayan ito ni
Melissa kaya umalis din agad.
Melissa gave me a derisive look. "You can have the dress. Marami pa naman dyan eh.
It's just a dress anyway, Aaron's the real deal."
Naginit na talaga ang ulo ko, hindi ko na napigilan ang inis ko at dinuro ko siya.
"Leave him the hell alone Melissa!"
Tinabig nya ang kamay ko at tinignan ako gamit ang nanlilisik nyang mata. "You
leave him alone!"
"I loved him first!" I shrieked out of rage. I don't even give a damn that we're
drawing too much attention, I'm just tired of being helpless. For once, I wanted to
fight.
Tumaas ang sulok ng labi nya, she gave me a death stare before speaking.
"You loved him first but I loved him better."

34

"You loved him first but I loved him better." Umikot ang mga katagang yon sa ulo ko
habang hawak ko ang isang pinggan. Angry, I threw it forcefully at the wall. It
crashed loudly and pieces rained on the floor.

Inulit ko ito ng tatlo pang beses sa iba ibang pinggan para mabawasan yung galit na
kinikimkim ko. They say this method is effective. Nanghihinang napasandal ako sa
may sink habang pinipigil na mapahagulgol.

"Cassidy, anong nangyari dito anak? Bakit ka nagbasag?"

Natatarantang sabi ni Manang ng sumilip siya sa kusina. Nakita nya ang itsura ko at
dalidaling lumapit para bigyan ako ng yakap. She trapped me in her cocoon of love
and I trembled beneath her arms.

Hinimas nya ang likod ko at hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. I cried in her
shoulder. I cried like the weakling I really am in this story. I felt useless and
worthless and helpless.

Yun nalang ba ang palaging papel ko? Ang magmukhang kaawa awa? Hinaplos nya ng
masuyo ang buhok ko bago bumulong. "Pwede kang magsabi sakin. Alam mo namang kahit
ano pa yan, makikinig ako diba? Si Aaron na naman ba?" Puno ng pag-aalala nyang
tanong.

She knew everything. She knew the fight, the baby I was carrying, the marriage.
Pero inintindi nya ako, nirespeto nya yung mga desisyon ko, hindi nya ko
pinakialaman. Instead, she offered her shoulder.

She offered me support. Napahigpit ang yakap ko sa kanya. Naglandas yung mga luhang
hindi ko na kayang itago. "Manang bakit po ganon? Nagkulang ba ako? Was I not
enough? Bakit hindi nya ako kayang paniwalaan? Sabi nya mahal nya ako eh."

"Naguguluhan lang ngayon si Aaron kasi nasaktan siya. Intindihin mo rin na mahirap
din sa kanya yung makita yung litratong pinadala ni Aerold. Mahal ka nya kaya labis
siyang nasaktan." Paliwanag nya pero umiling ako ng paulit-ulit.

"Manang kung totoong mahal nya ako sakin siya maniniwala! Dapat nagtiwala siya
sakin! Him of all people should know that I would never dare cheat. Ganon ba
kadaling sirain yung relasyon namin? One blow from the wolf and now we're gone?"

Hinawakan nya yung mukha ko at pinunasan ang mga luha ko. "Naniniwala akong mahal
ka parin nya. Nasaktan lang talaga siya."

Yumuko ako. "But then there's Melissa. She told me she loved Aaron better. Anong
alam nya sa ganong bagay? How does she know her love for Aaron is greater than
mine? Alam nya ba yung kinailangan kong gawin para kay Aaron?"

Tiniis ko lahat ng sakit sa loob ng apat na taon para sa kanya. Para maabot nya
yung pangarap nya. Tapos may magsasabi sakin na mas may higit na nagmamahal sa
kanya kesa sakin? Bullshit!

"Manang, I set Aaron free so that he could pursue his lifelong dream. I sacrificed
our love for his own good. Panong mas may nagmahal sa kanya ng higit pa sa
pagmamahal ko? Does she even know what I went through for him?" Basag ang boses na
tanong ko. Manang looked at me in sadness.

Hinawi nya ang buhok na dumidikit na sa mukha kong basa ng luha.

"Sana lang anak, marealize na ni Aaron ang halaga mo. Sana bumalik na kayo sa
dati."

Napatingin ako sa malayo. "Sana nga po Manang. Dahil hindi ko na yata kaya, konting
konti nalang at bibigay na to." Turo ko sa puso ko. I felt her hand above my chest,
where my heart is.

"Maging matatag ka Cassidy." Niyakap ko siya at ganun din ang ginawa nya. Narealize
ko na hindi ko alam kung ano ang mangyayari sa buhay ko kapag wala si Manang.

Siya yung skeleton ng buong pagkatao ko. Hindi ako makakatayo ng wala siya. Pinilit
kong ngumiti para hindi na siya masyadong mag-alala. "Salamat Manang. I love you."

Napangiti rin siya sa sinabi ko. "Mahal din kita anak."

After the heart to heart talk with Manang, she cooked for me and forced me to eat.
Masama daw kasi kay baby kapag nagpalipas ako.

After ko kumain ay umakyat na ako at natulog. Kailangan kong itulog ang pagkainis
ko sa Melissa na yon at baka pag lumabas ang baby ko ay permanenteng nakasimangot
ang mukha.

I slept for about three hours bago ako ginising ni Manang. Sabi niya nasa baba daw
si Aaron. I frowned. Bakit kaya siya nandito? Bukas pa naman ang food tasting ah?

I fixed myself and went down. I saw him sitting on the living room couch. He raised
his head when I cleared my throat. He was wearing a dark gray three-piece suit and
he looked sinfully handsome. Napamura ako sa utak ko.

His eyes met mine and I held his gaze.

Hindi ko alam kung anong dumadaloy sa isip nya. How I wish he would let me inside
his world again. Pagkaraan ng mahabang katahimikan ay nagsalita siya. "Magbihis ka.
May party sa kumpanya."

Tinuro nya yung box sa ibabaw ng lamesa. Lumapit ako at binuksan ko yun. I was
mesmerized when I saw the red dress. It was elegantly cut and I was certain that it
would look good on me.

Meron ding heels na nasa loob nito. It was studded with little sparkling diamonds.
Lumingon ako sa kanya at bahagyang ngumiti. "Thank you."

As usual, he gave me a cold nod. Dinala ko na yung box para bitbitin sa taas at
makapagbihis ng makasalubong ko si Alvido.

He looked at the box and then at Aaron. He smiled to acknowledge his presence.
"Goodevening hijo."
"Goodevening." Malamig na tugon nito. Binaling uli ni Alvido sakin ang atensyon
nya. "Mukhang nagkakamabutihan uli kayo. Pasalamat ka sakin at binenta kita."
Tumawa siya ng mapanuya.

"You are a monster." Mariing sagot ko. Kapag talaga si Alvido ang kaharap ko,
lumalabas ang sungay at buntot ko. He brings out the worst in me.

Hindi ko siya magawang tignan ng hindi ko naalala lahat ng kasamaan at kasakiman

nya.

Tila nainis siya sa sagot ko, he gritted his teeth and pointed a finger on my face.
"Manahimik ka o-"

Hindi nya na natapos ang sasabihin nya ng may tumabig sa daliri nyang nakaturo
sakin. Aaron appeared next to me. He fixed Alvido with a penetrating stare. "You
shut up."

Napalunok si Alvido, he was older but Aaron is richer and has more connections.
Kayang kaya siya nitong pabagsakin kung kelan nito gusto. "Aaron, hijo-"

"Dare point a finger on her again and I will do everything in my power to bring you
down."

35

"Thank you." I mouthed almost mutely while we were inside the car. My eyes were
focused on the road, but in my peripheral vision I saw him nod. "Don't thank me."

"Why not? Pinagtanggol mo ko kay Alvido kaya tama lang na pasalamatan kita." Giit
ko. Nagsalita siya ng hindi man lang tumitingin sakin. "Okay."

Kanina pa kami nasa daan pero hindi kami nag-uusap. I can still feel the coldness
directed towards me, but at least he's not shouting. Sabi ko sa puso ko kakayanin
ko. Kaya ko pa naman ang mga simpleng pagsusungit nya.

Wag lang sana siyang gumawa ng isang bagay na labis akong masasaktan at baka
tuluyan ng mabasag ang puso ko. Baka hindi ko na talaga kayanin.

I love him. I love my baby. Kaya ko to ginagawa para sa kanilang dalawa. My baby
deserves not just a father but a family. Alam ko namang maayos namin to ni Aaron
eh, siguro hindi pa ngayon dahil sariwa pa ang nangyari pero eventually.

We can't spend our whole married life trying to avoid each other. Eventually, we
would make up and everything would be okay again. Just like before. Napangiti ako
ng lihim. Deep down, naniniwala parin akong mahal nya ako.

Kasi hindi naman siguro siya papayag na magpakasal sakin kung hindi diba? Dati pa
man marami na kaming pinagdaanan. Dito pa ba kami susuko? Kung kelan ikakasal na
kami? Kung kelan magkakaanak na kami? No.

"Why the hell are you smiling?" May bahid ng pagkairita ang tanong nya. Hindi ko
talaga kasi mapigilan ang ngiti ko. "You still care." I murmured but it was enough
for him to hear.

Napahigpit ang hawak nya sa manibela. "You're wrong. I don't giv a damn about you
anymore Cassidy." He mouthed with a slight hint of annoyance and harshness.

"You do. Stop lying. Stop denying. Thou shall know the truth and the truth shall
set you free." Sagot ko. Tinapunan nya na naman ako ng malamig na tingin.

"You're assuming again."

Umiling iling ako. "I'm not. You still care and I felt that just a while ago ng
ipagtanggol mo ako kay Alvido. I saw it in your eyes Aaron, your eyes always give
you away."

He parked the car pero hindi pa muna kami lumabas. Humarap siya sakin, this time
his eyes were emotionless. Too unreadable. "Ginawa ko yun because it's the right
thing and not because I care for you."

Parang nabuhusan ako ng malamig na tubig sa sinabi nya. I wanted to get out of this
car and run far away from him. Pero hindi ko magawa, instead I was sitting here
looking like a lost puppy.

Nakayuko ang ulo ko. Naramdaman kong binuksan nya ang pinto nya at lumabas. Natanaw
kong dirediretso na siyang pumasok sa loob ng hotel at iniwan ako dito. I sighed
and forced the pain down.

Bumaba narin ako sa kotse at hinabol siya. Humihingal na tinakbo ko ang

pinaglalakaran nya at sumabay sa kanya ng paglalakad. Ni hindi nya ako tinapunan ng
tingin.

He continued walking in the hallway with hands in his pockets. Napabuntong hininga
ako bago inayos ang nagulo kong buhok. We reached the reception area and I was
almost impressed. Almost.

Hindi kasi ako mahilig sa mga socializing events eh. Balloons of different colors
littered the floor, music was blaring from stereos and the light was dim. Shades of
violet enveloping the whole room. Sa lahat naman ng color ng lights violet pa?

Nailing ako. Dumeretso si Aaron sa isang table kung saan may dalawang lalaking
nakaupo. One looked bored and the other gave us a warm smile when he saw us
approaching. "Hey guys." Bati ni Aaron ng nakalapit na kami sa table.

He sat directly on the chair without even bothering to pull a seat for me. Nakita
ito ng lalaking ngumiti samin kanina at binigyan siya ng glare. The guy pulled a
seat for me and I politely thanked him.

"Hindi mo ba kami ipapakilala sa kanya?" Asks the bored-looking guy. Nagtaas ng

kilay si Aaron. "Bakit pa?"

"Formality. Hindi nya man lang alam ang pangalan ng mga gwapo mong kaibigan."
Seryosong saad nito. Aaron rolled his eyes. "Fine."

Nilingon nya ako na para bang napipilitan lang siyang gawin to bago nagsalita.
"He's Naxos." Turo nya sa lalaking mukhang bored. Nilingon nito si Aaron at
sinapak.

"Wtf, man?!" Pagtataas ng boses ni Aaron na hawak ang panga nya. Naxos raised an
eyebrow. "How many times do I have to tell you to stop saying my full name. You can
call me Nax, btw." Nilingon ako ni Nax para sabihin yon bago siya nagpakawala ng
ngiti.

I smiled back. Yung guy na naghatak sakin ng upuan, hindi nya na hinintay na
ipakilala siya ni Aaron. He offered me his hand and I shook it. "Denver."

"Nice to meet you both, I'm Cassidy." I answered amiably. Syempre kailangan maging
friendly, kaibigan sila ni Aaron eh. Baka matulungan nila kong makipagayos sa
kanya.

They drank wine, ako tumanggi. Preggy, remember? Nagjuice lang ako. Silang tatlo
ang may-ari ng kumpanyang to. Kakatayo lang nila nito this year at bilang
selebrasyon sa pagiging successful nito ay nagpaparty sila.

I excused myself to go to the ladies room. Tinanguan lang ako ni Aaron as usual. I
can't control my pee anymore that's why I had to quicken my steps. After ko umihi
ay naghugas ako ng kamay at nagretouch. Pagkabalik ko sa table ay si Denver nalang
ang nandon.

"Uhm, hey. Asan si Aaron at Nax?" I asked him. "Nasa may garden. May pinaguusapang
importante."

Tumango tango ako at umupo sa seat ko. There was awkward silence. "You're pregnant,
right?" He broke the ice. Ngumiti ako at tumango.

"Babae ba o lalaki ang gusto mo?" Tanong uli nya. He speaks so casually na parang
nawawala yung ilang ko sa kanya.

"I want a girl. Syempre para magkasundong magkasundo kami sa lahat ng bagay diba?"
Sagot ko, siya naman pinaglalaruan nya yung wine nya.

"Oh." Naputol na dun yung usapan. Wala naman kaming ibang matopic dahil kakakilala
lang namin kanina. Maya maya ay may tumawag sa kanya, he politely excused himself.

I said it was okay, kahit hindi talaga. Dahil ako nalang ang naiwan sa table. I
decided to look for Aaron and Nax. I headed towards the hotel garden. I spotted the
two seated on a wooden bench.

May dala pang isang wine glass si Aaron na ngayon ay sinisimsim nya ang laman.
Nakatalikod sakin yung bench, meaning hindi nila ako nakikita ngayon. Naglakad ako
papunta sa kanila ng mapatigil ako dahil sa pinag-uusapan nila.

"Alam mo palang nasasaktan mo na siya eh, bakit ganyan mo parin siya pakitunguhan?
Mahal ka naman pala pre eh." Saad ni Nax. Aaron was silent for a while then he let
out a sigh.

"I don't know what to do anymore. Alam mo ba minsan naiisip kong wag nalang ituloy
ang kasal. Na magback out nalang ako habang maaga pa. Kesa naman hindi ko siya
siputin sa altar diba? That would hurt more."

Natuod ako sa sinabi nya. Parang tumigil sa pagtibok ang puso ko ng sandaling yon.
He doesn't want to marry me? Pinaplano nyang magbackout?

Bakit? Ano na namang problema? Akala ko ba okay na? Parang pinupunit yung puso ko
sa pagkakataong to.

"Gago ka naman pre! Nabuntis mo kaya obligado kang pakasalan yun! Don't be a
coward, face your obligation. Hindi yung tuhog-kalimot." Nax reprimanded, inubos
naman ni Aaron ang wine sa glass nya at huminga ng malalim.

I waited for his answer, I waited for him to say something. Anything at all.
"Nax, yun yung problema eh. Kaya hindi ako mapakali.."

Nakabitin yung sinabi nya sa ere, nanahimik silang dalawa bago nya itinuloy. "What
if that child isn't mine?"

Para kong binagsakan ng langit at lupa sa tanong nyang yun. Napahawak ako sa bibig
ko para pigilan ang sarili ko sa paghagulgol. Ganon ba talaga ang tingin nya sakin?
Tingin nya ganun ako kadumi para magkaron ng ibang tatay ang anak ko?

This is too much. Nakaya ko nung pinagdudahan nya ang katapatan ko sa kanya, pero
ang pagdudahan nya ang katauhan ng anak ko? Ng anak namin? Hindi ko na yata kayang
palampasin. This is simply too much.

Nanginginig na nakatingin parin ako sa likod nilang dalawa ni Nax. Yung puso ko
durog na durog lang dati. Ngayon mas lalo pang pinino ang pagkadurog.

I can't do this anymore. This is all too much. He's too much.

Hindi ko na kaya pang panoorin silang dalawa, tama na. Tama na ang sakit. Ang lahat
ng masasakit na salita. Ang pagdududa.

Everything has it's own breaking point, and as I ran away from this place I
realized.. that I've also reached mine.

Minsan pala, talagang aabot ka dun sa puntong sa sobrang sakit masasabi mo nalang
sa sarili mo na

Tama na.

36
I don't know how I managed to stop my tears from falling. I don't know why the pain
was too intense that I couldn't feel it anymore. I don't know what's happening to
him, to us. I don't know anything anymore.
I knocked in front of Theia's condo. Tulad dati, sila ni Psyche ang takbuhan ko
maliban kay Manang. The door opened and Theia scanned me from head to foot. Then
she grabbed my wrist and lead me inside before locking the door.
Tahimik lang akong nakaupo sa couch nya. She sighed. "Something's wrong. Ano na
namang kagaguhan ang ginawa ni Monteverde sayo? Alam mo Cassi, kaibigan kita. Pero
kapag nakikita kong ganyan ka? I honestly want to slap you."
Nakinig lang ako sa sinasabi nya, my face had no expression, no reaction. No
anything. Inaabsorb ko lang yung mga sinasabi nya sakin.
She sat on the couch and held her temples. "Ang tanga tanga mo. Ilang beses ka ng
sinaktan sige ka parin."
"I fought because we have a baby." Mahina kong sambit. Naalala ko na naman yung
usapan nila kanina, I wanted to slap him so hard pero hindi sapat yon para ibsan
ang sakit na pinadama nya sakin.
"Kanina, he went to the house and told me to get dressed because we were attending
a party. Before we left, I was hopeful na maayos pa namin to. Pinagtanggol nya pa
nga ako kay Alvido eh, kaya akala ko may paki pa siya sakin."
I toyed with my fingers absentmindedly. "But he told me straightforward that he
doesn't care about it anymore. Nung nandon kami sa party, he introduced me to his
friends. Labag pa nga sa loob nya yun eh."
Natawa ko ng pagak, Theia inched closer and patted my back. "Tapos alam mo ba
narinig ko silang magusap nung isang kaibigan nya. Sabi nya.."
I couldn't bring myself to say it. It hurts so damn much. I hate Alvido, Aerold and
him for hurting me like this. For breaking me.
"S-sabi nya hindi daw sya sure kung anak nya tong dinadala ko. How could he say
that to me? He was my first Theia! Pano nya nagawang isipin man lang yon?" Namamaos
kong tanong.
Theia gave me a look of concern and hugged me. "You can cry on my shoulders Cassi.
I don't mind."
Napangiti ako ng mapait bago umiling. "I'm done crying Theia. I'm done looking
weak. I'm so done being inlove with him. Ayoko na. Kasi ang sakit sakit. All I did
was love him and in return I got my heart shattered. Pagod na ko. Pagod na pagod na
ko."
She squeezed my shoulder. "Buti naman narealize mo na. There's more to life than
being with him. Hindi siya ang mundo mo. Wag mong ikulong yung sarili mo sa
pagmamahal mo sa kanya."
Tumango ako at pinilit ngumiti. Tulad ng ginagawa ko kapag sobrang sakit na.
Nagpapanggap akong masaya. Nagpapanggap akong okay.
"Pinaglaban ko naman si baby diba? Hindi naman ako nagkulang diba?" My voice almost
faltered. Malungkot na tumango si Theia.
"Oo. Siya. Siya yung nagkulang. Hindi nya nakita yung sobrang pagmamahal mo sa
kanya. Nabulag siya ng isang litratong pinadala ni Aerold. Hindi siya nagtiwala
sayo. Tama na. Nagpapasalamat ako na gising ka na. Kami ni Psyche yung nahihirapan
pag nakikita kang ganyan eh."
Napatingin ako sa labas ng bintana at nakita ko ang nangniningning na mga bituin.
"Cassi, it's time to give up. Ayusin mo muna yung sarili mo. Kasi hindi ka na
katulad nung dati. Your love for him destroyed you. Hindi ka na masayahin. You have
to let fate decide."
Alam ko, Theia. Alam ko.
"Akala ko hindi dadating yung time na mapapagod akong mahalin siya. Pero totoo pala
na lahat ng sobra, umaapaw, at nasasayang."
"Lahat ng sobra masama, remember that." She reprimanded.
Hinimas ko yung tyan ko. May naisip na akong gawin, but I somehow think that it's
too selfish. Pero anong magagawa ko? Sobra na.
Punong puno na ako. I can't handle anything anymore.
"You need to be strong. Hindi ka na nag-iisa ngayon, may buhay na sa loob ng
katawan mo at yun ang pinakamalaking rason para maging matapang ka. The baby needs
you."
Muli akong tumango. Tumayo siya and gave me a glass of water. I emptied the glass
in one gulp. Medyo nahimasmasan na ako.
I considered everything Theia told me. Cassi, it's time to give up. Parang ayaw ng
puso ko pero my brain is telling me to ignore my heart. After all, I followed it
and what good did it do to me?
"Anong balak mo ngayon?" Theia queried. I breathed deeply before telling her my
plan. Tapos tinignan nya ako sa mata, worry etched in her features.
"Makakaya mo ba?" Tanong nya uli. I gave her a determined nod. Dinial nya si Psyche
and we told her what happened and what I will do.
"Are you sure about this Cassi?" Psyche's voice resonated on the other line. "Oo."
Mariin at may determinasyon kong tugon.
There was a pause then I heard her voice again. "Then do it. Show him what he
lost."
Matagal pa kaming nag-usap usap sa phone. Ng mapagod ako ay sinabi ko na kay Theia
na dito na ako matutulog. She happily agreed. Yung perang ipinahiram nya sakin dati
ay matagal ko ng naibalik, hindi ko naman kasi nagastos.
Yung negosyo namin, nakabangon na rin. Thanks to Aaron's 'money'. Napabuntong
hininga ako at pinilit alisin ang mukha nya sa utak ko.
Every time I close my eyes, his face will flash on my head. And it's doing little
to make me hate him more.
Ngayon ay nakahiga na ako sa kama, it's already 11:00 pm.
Kinatok ako ni Theia sa kwarto ko. She entered and waved her phone on my face,
signifying that she already phoned the person I requested her to call.
Umupo siya sa kama ko at mataman akong tinignan. Tapos lumapit siya at niyakap ako
ng mahigpit. "Alam kong gagawin mo to para makalimot, para takasan ang sakit at
para sa bata. Pero a selfish part of me wants to stop you."
I could feel her sadness. Ngumiti nalang ako kahit nalulungkot rin ako. "Thank you
for being there for me Theia."
"That's what friends do. Helping each other and watching each other's backs."
Umupo na uli siya ng kama, her phone buzzed and she took it. She read the message
and looked at me. Alam ko kung sino yung nagtext. Batchmate nya dati na anak ng
may-ari ng isang airport.
"Anong sabi?" I inquired in my nervous voice. She gave me a gloomy look before
answering.
"Nakuhanan ka na nya ng slot. Your flight will be at 8 am, tomorrow morning."

37
-
Manang, Psyche, Theia and Christian are already here. 7 am palang pero nandito na
ako. I don't want to be late, I don't want to give myself a chance to back out.
I gripped my huge suitcase closer to my body. Gumising ako ng 4 am para maligo at
magbihis. Tsaka ako umuwi sa bahay. Inexplain ko kay Manang ang mga nangyari at
yung desisyon ko.
Nalungkot siya but she didn't try to stop me. Niyakap nya ako ng mahigpit bago ako
tinulungang magempake. Hindi na ako nagaksaya ng panahon na magpaalam kay Alvido
dahil wala naman siyang paki.
Bago kami tumungo ni Manang sa airport ay magwithdraw muna ako sa bank account ko
ng sapat na halaga ng pera para panggastos ko doon.
I even made Manang promise me not to tell anyone kung saan ako papunta. Kagabi daw,
nung hindi ako umuwi pumunta si Aaron sa bahay.
Alalang alala daw ito dahil bigla nalang akong nawala. Naghintay pa ng hanggang
hating gabi sa mansion, pero nung hindi daw ako dumating ay nagpasya ng umalis.
Nangako naman daw itong babalik sa bahay pag dating ng hapon at kapag wala pa daw
ako doon ay tatawag na ito sa pulis.
Gusto ko sanang umasa na may paki siya, na mahal nya ako, pero tulad ng sabi ko
kagabi, walang magandang nadulot ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya.
Napahawak muli ako sa sinapupunan ko at napangiti. Meron pala. Ikaw baby. Ikaw lang
ang hindi ko pinagsisisihan na nangyari. Kahit ayaw satin ng ama mo ay mamahalin
kita. Pupunuan ko yung kawalan nya.
Nakatingin silang lahat sakin, I forced a smile. I gave them the bravest smile I
could come up with. "Oh, yung itsura nyo naman parang hindi nyo na ko makikita." I
decided to lighten their mood by joking but it did nothing.
Christian approached me. "We've only known each other for two years but we became
really close. You're more than just a talent to me. You're like the sister I never
had Cassi. Mag iingat ka don."
"Thank you Christian. Salamat sa pagintindi mo sakin." I was really touched. I
decided to hug him and I feel like crying again.
"Take care of yourself kasi wala na kami don para bantayan ka." Nangingiting
tumango ako. Bibitaw na sana siya sa yakap but I held him in place.
He knitted his brows, I leaned into his ear and mumbled. "Promise me one thing."
"What?" He asked, obviously confused. Bumulong uli ako. "Ipangako mong pagbalik ko,
kayo na ni Thea."
Tsaka ko lang siya binitawan. Yung itsura nya parang hindi siya makapaniwala sa
request ko. But he nodded. "Promise." Sagot nya.
Theia and Psyche approached me next. They attacked me with a hug, I could hear
Psyche sniffing and I stifled a chuckle. Nalulungkot rin naman ako but I don't want
to cry anymore.
"I'll miss you. Wala ng bigla nalang susulpot sa condo ko. Tapos kami nalang ni
Psyche yung magbabar. I want you to go because I want your heart healed but at the
same time gusto kitang pigilan." Theia had tears in her eyes.
"May skype naman, I will always keep in touch with you guys. Akala nyo ba
kakalimutan ko kaya kapag nandon na ko? Hindi no." Sagot ko kahit parang ayaw ko
naring umalis.
Psyche wiped her tears using the back of her palm. She faked a smile. "Cassi, kahit
palagi akong busy at huli sa mga nangyayari sa buhay mo alam mo namang mahal kita
diba? Daya mo sis. Solid tayo tapos aalis ka. Alam kong napagusapan na natin to
pero syempre hindi parin namin maiiwasang malungkot."
She embraced me again and I returned her hug with the same fervor. "I love the two
of you too. You guys are my bestfriends at importante kayo sakin." I sniffed, my
eyesight was turning a bit blurry and I laughed as I wiped it with my hankerchief.
No more tears. "Ingat kayong dalawa ni baby ha? Wag mong papabayaan ang sarili mo."
I nodded. Nung tumalikod na sila ay si Manang naman ang lumapit sakin.
Namumula yung mata nya. And I saw one tear escape her eye. "Oh manang." I muttered
before wiping it for her. Ako na yung yumakap sa kanya at halos hindi na ako
makahinga sa higpit ng ganting yakap nya.
She sobbed, and I patted her back to pacify her. Ng magbitiw kami ay hinaplos nya
ng masuyo ang mukha ko. "Mamimiss kita anak." Usal nya.
My lips quivered because of the emotions I'm keeping at bay. God knows how much I
wanna break down in front of her right now, but I can't afford to be weak again.
"Manang naman, diba sabi ko na sainyo? Aayusin lang natin yang papeles mo tapos
susunod kana sakin? Hindi ko naman maatim na iwan ka kay Alvido eh." Masinsinang
paliwanag ko sa kanya.
Marahan siyang tumango. "Pero baka matagalan pa."
"Mga apat na bwan. Apat na bwan lang Manang."
"Makakaya mo ba ang apat na buwan na yon na ikaw lang mag-isa?" I've been asking
myself that same question last night.
I heaved a sigh. "Kailangan kong kayanin para sa anak ko. Wala naman ng ibang
tutulong sakin kundi sarili ko eh, Aaron's out of the picture now. He doesn't want
this baby. At ayoko ng ipilit ang sarili ko sa kanya. It's sickening and tiring."
Madamdamin at puno ng emosyon kong sagot.
Tumango siya at hinalikan ako sa noo. "Hanggang sa muli nating pagkikita anak.."
Pinilit nyang ngumiti and I did the same. I don't know how long I can keep up this
facade. Tinawag na ang flight ko. They looked disheartened but I bade them my final
farewell bago buong tapang na hinila ang bagahe ko palayo sa kanila.
Habang naglalakad ako palayo ay naisip ko ang mga telenovelang napapanood ko. Kung
saan ang bidang babae ay aalis at kapag tinawag na ang flight nya ay hahabulin siya
ng bidang lalaki.
They would make up and everything would be okay again. And now, as I take heavy
steps I was half-hoping that Aaron would do the same.
I was wishing that he would magically appear and stop me, to tell me that he needs
me and our baby, to say that he loves me. Deep down, I was still wishing that our
story would end with a happy ending.
Pero naibigay ko na ang passport ko at lahat, ay wala parin. Walang Aaron na
humabol.
I mentally scolded myself for being stupid. Aalis alis ka tapos gusto mong habulin
ka? Tanga ka ba talaga Cassidy? Ipinilig ko ang ulo ko. Hindi ko na siya dapat
isipin.
After a few minutes ay nakasakay na ako sa eroplano, dahil lutang ako ay naapakan
ko ang paa ng katabi ko. He yelped and I said sorry.
"It's okay Miss." Nagtaas ako ng tingin upang tignan siya at parehas kaming
nagulat.
"Cassidy?" Napatango ako, I tried to whack my brain to remember his name. Siya yung
lalaki sa Mcdo! And las if on cue ay naalala ko ang pangalan nya.
"Hi. Rad, right?" He smiled. "Yes. I didn't get your full name last time because
you were in a hurry."
"Cassidy Hurdiss." Nakangiti kong sagot. "Oh, mine is Raven Andrei Dominguez."
Kaya pala RAD. Kasi initials nya. "I think Drei suits you better."
"Really? Then you can call me Drei." He chuckled at hindi ko napigilang mapangiti.
Mukhang hindi ako mabbore sa flight.
Napatingin ako sa labas ng bintana ng eroplano, I closed my eyes tightly and tried
not to think of Aaron but to no avail. His images would flash in my mind nonstop.
It's like I can hear his laughter. I took a deep breath before I opened my eyes
again.
New country, new life.
Goodbye Aaron.

38
-
(Aaron's side)
"What the fuck Aaron?! Akin na nga yan!" Galit na sabi ni Denver habang pilit
inaagaw sakin ang bote ng alak. I laconically let go of it. Nax fixed me with an
angry stare.
"We tolerated your behavior at first because we know that it's normal to get hurt
when someone important to you leaves you. Pero tangina naman pre! It's been 1 year
already since she left but you're still sulking like a deranged moron! Naapektuhan
na ang trabaho natin! Hindi natin to pinaghirapang itayo para lang maggago ka!"
That's it. Finally, sumabog narin sa galit si Nax. Lately hindi nya ko kinakausap,
punong puno na siguro siya sakin. Bigla kasi silang pumasok ni Denver sa opisina ko
at nadatnan nila akong umiinom. Na naman.
Three empty beer bottles were littering the floor at hindi yon nakalampas sa
mapanuring tingin nila. What they're saying is true, nagpapabaya na ako sa trabaho.
"Wag mo kaming itulad sayo! We're not a billionaire like you Aaron! Kung ikaw wala
kang paki kung bumagsak ang kumpanya kami meron! We love this company because we
worked so hard to build this." Naiigting ang mga ngipin nyang saad sakin.
As usual, wala na naman akong reaksyon. "Ano ganyan ka na naman? Hindi ka na naman
magsasalita? Wala ka man lang gagawin?! Maybe that's why Cassidy left you! Kasi
dyan ka magaling! Ang walang gawin!"
Nangangalit na tinignan ko na sya. He scoffed. "Don't you dare mention her name
Nax!"
Tinawan nya ako ng tila nanunuya. "At bakit? Dahil ayaw mong maalala yang kagaguhan
mo? She loved you and you loved her but you hurt her! Pinagduduhan mo sya kaya ka
nya iniwan! She left because you were a dick! And now you're left with no wife and
no child!"
Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko, tumayo ako at kwinelyuhan ko sya. Inambaan ko
siya ng suntok ngunit tinabig ni Denver ang kamao ko. "STOP!" Sigaw nya. Even
Denver was eyeing me with distaste.
"You're angry because what I said was true. Galit ka because I hit a nerve! Dahil
deep down, alam mong tama ako. Sinaktan saktan mo tapos ngayong iniwan ka
papabayaan mo ang sarili mo at ang kumpanya na para bang ikaw pa yung nasaktan?!
Hah!" He angrily kicked the couch near him.
I fixed him with an emotionless stare. "Nasasaktan ako. Nasaktan din ako Nax, and
you know that." Mariin kong saad.
He smirked at dinuro ako sa dibdib. "You deserve that! Ngayon Aaron, kung hindi mo
kayang tumino then ako nalang ang pupunta sa New York para makipagmeet sa mga
investors. I can't afford to let you blow it off just like what you did to the last
one. Ang tanda mo na, ayusin mo nga sarili mo!" He stormed out of my room and I
collapsed on my swivel chair again.
I can still feel Denver's preaence inside my office. Nagtaas ako ng paningin at
tumingin sa kanya. He looked at me with pity bago umiling. "I'm sorry Aaron but
he's right. Lahat ng sinabi nya totoo. I mean look at you. You're a mess."
I've been a mess since Cassidy left. Napayuko nalang ako hanggang sa naramdaman ko
na naman ang pagguhit ng sakit sa puso ko. I hurt the person I love. And now, she
left with our baby.
Naalala ko pa yung huling gabing nakita ko siya, yun yung party sa kumpanya. She
went to the ladies room at kinuha ko na yung pagkakataong yon para makausap si Nax
at humingi ng opinyon.
The memory flashed on my mind vividly, like it was a scene from yesterday. Nakaupo
kami sa bench nun. We were at the garden that time. Matagal ko ng naikwento sa
kanila ni Denver ang nangyari.
"I don't know what to do anymore. Alam mo ba minsan naiisip kong wag nalang ituloy
ang kasal. Na magback out nalang ako habang maaga pa. Kesa naman hindi ko siya
siputin sa altar diba? That would hurt more." I told Nax who was seated beside me.
Masyado kasi akong nasaktan nung nakita ko yung litrato kaya nagiba ang pakikitungo
ko sa kanya. Aerold told me they have an affair at matagal na daw sila, I
confronted Cassidy but she denied it.
Gulong gulo ako, kinakain ng galit at selos yung buong pagkatao ko. In that moment,
I don't know who to believe. I wanted to believe Cassidy but the evidence was
slapping me in the face. Somehow I feel guilty na ginamit ko pa si Melissa na
panakip butas. Sa sobrang selos ko ay inisip kong gantihan si Cassidy. I'm an
asshole, know.
"Gago ka naman pre! Nabuntis mo kaya obligado kang pakasalan yun! Don't be a
coward, face your obligation. Hindi yung tuhog-kalimot." Nax responded.
"Nax, yun yung problema eh. Kaya hindi ako mapakali.."
Napatingin ako sa malayo, matagal ng bumabagabag sa isip ko ang tanong na to eh.
"What if that child isn't mine?" I dropped the question, and saying it out loud
hurts me. Hindi ko talaga kayang isipin na may ibang lalaki siya. It breaks my
heart in half.
Nax gave me a look of all-out seriousness. "Hindi ko alam pre. Pano nga kung hindi
sayo yung bata? Matatanggap mo ba?"
Napayuko ako at matagal bago sumagot. Pero sigurado ako sa sagot ko. "Oo. Ganon
siya kahalaga sakin. Na kahit wala mang kasiguraduhan na sakin yon ay aakuin ko
parin. Because her blood runs in the baby's veins. And when I loved her, nangako
akong lahat ng bagay sa kanya mamahalin ko."
He gave me a punch and I massaged the affected area. "What was the punch for?"
Nakataas na kilay na tanong ko.
He rolled his eyes. "Mahal mo palang gago ka eh bakit ginaganon mo?"
Napalunok ako. "Kilala mo naman ako diba? Defense mechanism ko yon eh. Ayokong
malaman nya na nasasaktan parin ako that's why I treat her with coldness. To mask
the pain."
Nilagok ko yung natitirang liquor sa wine glass ko. "It still hurts. Hanggang
ngayon nagfflash parin sa utak ko yung litrato. Nasasaktan parin ako kapag naiisip
ko yun. Mapapatawad ko naman si Cassidy kahit ano pang gawin nya eh. Kaya lang una
kasing humulagpos yung galit ko." Puno ng pait na sambit ko.
"Aaron you gotta let go of that grudge. Nakikita ko sa kanya yung effort para
bumalik kayo sa dati, wag mong hintaying mapagod sya. Diba mahal mo siya?"
"Mahal na mahal na mahal." Mariing saad ko. He clapped me on the back. "Then ayusin
mo na ang relasyon nyo. Make your fiancee happy. Don't hurt her, okay?"
I let out a smile. "I will Nax. Thank you." Pagkatapos naming mag-usap ay bumalik
na kami. Wala parin si Cassidy sa table pero si Denver nakaupo don. He looked
serious.
"Denv, where's Ca-"
"Aaron she left crying. Tumakbo siya palabas and I don't know why. Sinundan nya
kasi kayo sa garden tapos pagkatapos lang ng ilang minuto tumakbo na siyang
umiiyak. Hindi ko na nahabol, I'm sorry."
Nagkatinginan kami ni Nax. Shit. I was alarmed. "She might've heard what you said
about your doubts."
"Shit!" Napamura ako at tumakbo papunta sa sasakyan ko. Hold on chief, I'm coming.
I'm sorry.
Ipinilig ko yung ulo ko para mawala yung memoryang yun. It just kept coming back.
Yung alaala ng gabing yon na kahit kelan hindi ko makalimutan. I looked at Denver
who was still looking at me sternly.
S-sorry." Basag ang boses na sabi ko, he sighed.
"Ayusin mo buhay mo pre. Hindi matutuwa si Cassidy kapag nakita kang ganyan. Wag
mong hintaying bumalik siya na ganyan parin ang buhay mo." Tapos ay lumabas na siya
sa office ko.
Napasandal ako sa swivel chair ko at napabuntong hininga.
The business transaction Nax said that I blew off was three months ago. Sa New York
din yun. Pumayag akong ako ang makipagmeeting para kahit papano maalis kay Cassidy
ang utak ko.
But going there made everything worse. While I was at Central Park, I saw Aerold. I
punched him before I even said a word. Mukhang nagulat siya pero hindi sya umalma.
He absrbed every blow, every punch I gave him.
"DAMN YOU! Sinabi ko na sayo dati pa back off! Pero anong ginawa mo?! Lapit ka
parin ng lapit kay Cassidy! To the point na may nangyari sa inyong dalawa and you
even sent me the picture! You asshole!" Sasapakin ko na sana siya uli kaya lang ay
umilag sya.
"Walang nangyari samin. I drugged her kaya nakatulog siya. I set her up."
Kwinelyuhan ko sya at ibinalya sa isang puno. I was gritting my teeth. So all along
I hated her for nothing? All along, what Aerold fed me are lies. And now wala na
sakin ang mag-ina ko dahil sa kahayupan ng tang ito!
"Nasira kami dahil sayo! Napakawalang hiya mo, dammit!" I punched him angrily again
at hindi na siya umilag. I was shaking with anger. I wanted to kill him.
"I want you to know that I'm sorry. I was desperate that time because I was head
over heels in love with her. Pero nagsisisi ako, kasi sa huli, sa kabila ng ginawa
ko hndi ako naging masaya." Mahinang sambit nya, his lips were bleeding. Pumutok
dahil sa sapak ko.
Marahas ko siyang tinulak at ibinalya sa kalsada. I pointed a finger at him habang
nagtataas baba ang dibdib ko sa labis na galit. "I'm giving you the chance to run
bago magbago ang isip ko." I said while gritting my teeth. He stood up and
scrambled away.
Nagcollapse ako sa isang bench at napasapo sa ulo ko. I couldn't hold it in
anymore, I cried.
-
After four years..
"Hoy bakit tulala ka dyan?" Nax grinned and clapped my back. Napatingin ako sa
kanilang dalawa ni Denver. Napabuntong hininga ako.
"Wag mong biruin, kagatin tayo nyan. Alam mo naman ang date ngayon. August 18.
Birthday ni Cassidy. Hindi ka pa sanay, taon taong mukhang semana santa ang itsura
nyan pagsumasapit ang August 18 eh." Nagbibirong sabi ni Denver na nakataas pa ang
paa sa meeting table.
I sighed and put my chin on my palm. Naalala ko na naman siya. I miss her so much.
And I want to see our child. Lalaki kaya ito? Babae? Asan na kaya sila? Will they
come back? Gabi kong iniisip ang mga tanong na yan.
At gabi gabi parin akong binabalot ng kalungkutan at pangungulila. Inikot ikot ko
yung supposed to be wedding ring namin sa daliri ko. I do this whenever I feel sad.
Ilang private investigayor na ang hinire ko, hindi ko parin alam kung nasaan na
sila ng anak namin. Ayaw niya nga yatang magpahanap pa sa akin.
"Sa tingin nyo, kung nasan man sya ngayon ay iniisip nya rin kaya ako?"

39
-
"Combien?" (How much?) Tanong ko sa isang food vendor na nagbebenta ng cotton
candy. Bumili ako ng dalawa. 9 am in the morning na dito. Pauwi na sana ako galing
sa supermarket ng madaanan ko ang kiosk na to.
I paid and she smiled at me pagkatapos iabot ang binibili ko. "Merci." (Thank you)
I smiled back and walked home. Habang naglalakad ako ay marami akong nakikitang
couples. No wonder, this is the city of love eh. Yes, I'm in Paris.
It took me fifteen minutes bago ko narating ang bahay. The gate wasn't locked,
nailing ako. Nakalimutan na naman siguro ni Manang. Pagpihit ko ng door knob ay
sinalubong ako ng dilim.
I frowned. Inilapag ko muna sa isang tabi ang supot ng groceries bago ko binuksan
ang ilaw. I gasped the moment the lights flicked open.
There was a banner on the wall: Joyeux Anniversaire Mommy! (Happy birthday mommy!)
May mga balloons pa sa sahig. Alexiana, my four years and four months old daughter
bounded down the stairs wearing a pink gown while holding a pink rose. My baby
looks so beautiful. Her long hair was curled and she was wearing a flower crown.
She smiled at me and gave me the rose. She kissed me. "Joyeux anniversaire. Je
t'aime Mommy!" Tears were welling up in my eyes and I pulled her for a hug.
"Merci. I love you too baby." She gave me a toothy smile. She tapped my shoulder
and pointed at the top of the stairs. "Mommy lookie!" She giggled.
Tumingin ako sa tinuturo nya at napatutop ako ng bibig sa nakita ko.
A kid the same age as Xiana was descending from the stairs, wearing a red long
sleeve polo. In his little hand was a red rose. The little boy ran to me and handed
me the rose. He quickly encased me in a hug. "A red rose for the best mommy in the
world."
I was so touched. Feeling ko maiiyak ako eh. Ang babaw talaga ng luha ko. Ang tagal
naming magkayakap kaya nagtampo si Xiana. "Xander let Mommy go! I want to hug her
again." Pagmamaktol nya.
Sumimangot naman si Xander at umiling. "No way! You had your turn. And call me
Kuya! I'm older than you."
"Why would I call you Kuya? You were born only 10 minutes earlier than me, no
fair." She stomped her foot and I pulled them for a hug while laughing.
They are my happiness. Sobrang saya ko ng dumating ang kambal sa buhay ko, they
gave me a reason to be happy again.
"I love you both equally, okay? No fighting." I reprimanded. They nodded and
smiled. Manang was next to give me a rose. White rose naman ang sa kanya. Niyakap
nya rin ako bago ibigay ito sakin.
"Anak 28 ka na. Maligayang kaarawan at masaya akong nakikitang masaya ka ngayon."
Madamdamin nyang sabi. Nagpasalamat ako sa kanya.
"Mommy were you surprised?" Asked a smiling Xiana who was tugging at my hand. "Yes.
Thanks sweetie."
"The surprise isn't over yet!" Xander cocked his head sideways and I looked at the
direction he was looking. Napangiti ako when I saw him. Nagkamot siya ng ulo and
winked at me. Nakasuot siya ng long sleeve na polo na light blue. On his hand was a
bouquet of blue roses.
I chuckled. "Did you plan this?" He nodded. I must say, Drei looks really handsome
right now. He ran his hand through his hair and it looks sexy.
Tinanguan nya si Xiana. "Hit it." Tumakbo si Xiana at may pinindot na maliit na
bagay. Music blared in the house.
"May background music pa ha?" Pagbibiro ko sa kanya. Tuluyan na siyang lumapit
sakin at inabot ang bouquet. "Happy birthday to the prettiest woman alive."
"Bolero."
He grinned. "I'm telling the truth!" Depensa nya. Nailing nalang ako.
"Thank you for this. Hindi mo alam kung gano mo ko pinasaya today." Bulong ko sa
kanya.
He gave me a warm smile before shaking his head. "Ako yung dapat magpasalamat
Cassidy. Thank you. Thank you for accepting me in your life. I love you." Hinapit
nya ang bewang ko.
He was looking at me in the eyes. Wala na akong mahihiling pa. I have the twins. I
have Manang. And I have him. Bago ko tinawid ang distansya sa pagitan namin ay
nagsalita ako.
"I love you too."
-
"Ang laki na nila." Mahina kong anas habang nakasandal sa dibdib ni Drei. Nakayakap
naman siya sakin habang nakasandal sa puno. Kasalukuyan naming pinapanood namin ang
kambal na naghahabulan.
We decided to have a picnic today. Si Manang hindi sumama, maglilinis nalang daw
siya. Dahil kasi birthday ko kahapon ay naghappy happy sa bahay. Kaya ayun, magulo.
"Oo nga eh, nagtatanong na naman ba sila tungkol kay Aaron?" Sabi ni Drei. Tumango
ako bilang sagot. Kahit naman kasi umalis ako ng Pilipinas ay hindi ko nilihim sa
mga anak ko ang tungkol kay Aaron.
That's too cruel. They still have a right to know who their real father is. And
Aaron still has a right to meet his children. Hindi ko naman sila gustong itago.
Ayokong gawin sa mga anak ko yun.
Kaya at their young age at pinapaliwanag ko na sa kanila ang sitwasyon. I promised
them that we would go back to the Philippines so that they could meet their dad.
And I intend to keep that promise.
"Papa, Alexander is a slowpoke!" Tumatawang sabi ni Xiana ng lumapit samin. Tumawa
rin si Drei at inabutan siya ng supot. "Eat muna baby." Sabi nya.
Inabot ni Xiana ang supot at nagkunot noo. I had to resist the urge to pinch her
cheeks because she was so cute. "Qu'est-ce que c'est?" (What's this?) Tanong nya.
My twins speak English and French. Sobrang limited ng vocabulary nila sa Tagalog.
"Hamburger. Go call Xander, time to eat." Sambit ko.
She put her hands on her mouth. "Xander!!!" Xander came running, he sat next to
Drei. "Papa, aren't you gonna eat yet?" Tanong nya rito but Drei shook his head.
The two of them are super close. Minsan nga nagtatampo na ako eh, kasi minsan mas
gusto ni Xander kay Drei kesa sakin.
My kids call Drei 'Papa' kasi siya yung nakagisnan nila. But they know he's not
their real dad. I gave them a picture of Aaron so they know what he looks like.
I watched them eat heartily. Sumandal uli ako kay Drei. Napansin kong medyo tahimik
siya. Umayos ako ng upo para matignan sya. "Don't tell me you're jealous of Aaron?"
Nakataas ang kilay kong saad but he just pouted.
I pinched his cheeks. "Silly. I love you, okay? And you need not doubt that."
I saw him suppressing a smile. "Baka mamaya iniisip mo parin yung lalaking yun."
Kunyari ay nagtatampong sabi nya.
We've been together for two years now at ngayon pa talaga sya nag-isip ng ganyan?
Baliw talaga.
I leaned closer. "Are you crazy? Hindi ko na nga sya naiisip eh. Ngayon nalang uli
dahil napagusapan natin sya." Totoo naman.
"Weh?" Parang tangang sabi pa nya. Pinitik ko yung noo nya tulad ng lagi kong
ginagawa pag makulit siya. I intertwined our fingers. "Yep."
He looks satisfied with my answer, hinila nya ako palapit sa kanya at binigyan ako
ng mabilis na halik sa labi.
"I loooooove you." I said while smiling radiantly. He cupped my face. "Love you
more, my sweet."
"Eeeeeeew! Mommy, Papa! Please stop! Your sweetness is kidiri!" Xiana said while
grimacing. Xander laughed at her. "It's not kidiri Xiana! It's kediri!"
Pagkocorrect nya dito kahit mali rin naman.
Drei chuckled and opened his arms wide. "Group hug!"
Sumiksik ang kambal samin and Drei trapped us in his embrace. I'm just so happy, I
don't have to ask for anything else.
This day is perfect.

40
-
"How are things in the bakery doing?" Asked a curious Drei on the other line. I
smiled when I heard his voice. He seriously has this effect on me.
"Tout va pour la mieux du monde." (Everything's going beautifully) I answered. I
watched a young woman order a chocolate cake on the counter. I love my business.
Drei's sister Arianna was the one who taught me how to bake.
It was hard at first, but there's nothing you can't do with a little bit of faith
and determination. Eventually, baking became my labor of love. Ianna and I built
this shop two years ago and now, I'm proud to say that it already has three
branches in Paris. We sell cakes, pastries and other sweet delicacies.
"Good. I'll fetch you later, would that be okay?" His voice was husky and inviting
that I can't help but giggle. "Oui, je t'aime." (Yes. I love you) Malambing kong
saad.
Even though I couldn't see him, I know that there is a smile tugging at the corner
of his lips right now. "Love you too. Gotta go back to work, a bientot mi amour!
Prends soins de toi." (See you later my love. Take care)
"You too. Au revoir beau." (Goodbye handsome)
I heard him chuckle from the other line before I hung up. I remember the way Drei
looked when he was asking me if he stood a chance with me. He was sweating like
crazy, and at first I told him that he should find a woman who's purity isn't
tainted yet.
He is a nice person. He deserves someone better than me. Yung wala pang anak sa
pagkadalaga. Yung taong hindi sugatan ang puso. Yung taong walang tinatakbuhang
nakaraan.
But even though he wasn't certain if I would be able to return his feelings, he
didn't leave me. He was always there for me when I needed him. Naalala ko nga nung
ipinanganak ang kambal. He was there.
He carried Xander in his arms like he was his own. Like he came from his own flesh
and blood. Naiyak nga din siya ng makita ang mga bata eh. Dun ko narealize kung
gaano nya ako kamahal at kung gaano siya kaselfless.
Ilang taon nya din akong hinintay, and I fell for him. Kasi hindi naman siya
mahirap mahalin eh. Mabait siya, matalino at maalaga. Nakikita ko rin sa kanya na
mahal nya ang mga anak ko, di tulad ni Aaron.
Drei witnessed the twins grow up, he was there when they first learned how to speak
and read. He loved them and for that, I admired him even more.
Pinanood ko lang ang mga taong lumalabas at pumapasok sa C'est la vie. Yun ang
pangalan ng shop ko. In english, it means That's life.
I was sitting comfortably on my favorite spot at the corner of the shop. Malamang
nakauwi na si Xander at Xiana galing school. As if on cue, my phone rang. I saw
that it was Manang kaya inaccept ko.
"Hello?"
"Mommy, I wanna see you! Can Xander and I go to the shop with Manang?" Napangiti
ako, malamang nakasimangot si Xiana ngayon ng madatnan nilang wala ako sa bahay.
"Okay baby. Be safe? I love you. Send my hugs and kisses to Xander." Malambing kong
sabi. She squealed with delight and told me she loves me too before dropping the
call. Ibinalik ko yung phone ko sa bag.
Just then, one of my staffs sat on the seat in front of me. "Hi, Cesca." Cesca's
the manager in here. She's a close friend of mine and she's also Filipino.
"Nakangiti ka na naman dyan ha? May date kayo ni Drei no?" She bantered and I
chuckled. She knows me so well. "Oui. Halata ba talaga?" Natatawa kong tanong.
Ngumiti siya bago tumango. "Ou allez-vous?" (Where are you going?)
I shrugged. "Je ne sais pa. Drei's full of surprises, you know?" (I don't know)
"The guy is really in love with you Cassi! Naalala mo ba nung pumunta ka dito at
ang daming lalaking nakatingin sayo?"
"Il ne m'a pas quitte des yeux." (He never took his eyes off me) I tried to
suppress my smile but failed. Naalala ko nga yung araw na yon, he was so possessive
and clingy. And I found it cute.
"Sya nga pala, kelan ang balik nyo?" Natigilan ako bigla sa tanong nya. I mentally
cursed myself for forgetting. This week nga pala kami uuwi ng Pilipinas. Which
means I'll see him again.
"This week." Sagot ko. When the twins' fourth birthday came, Xiana's wish was to go
back to the Philippines and meet her dad. Xander wasn't so eager. Kuntento na si
Xander na nakita nya sa picture si Aaron, he even said that he is contented with
his Papa and that he doesn't need his real dad.
But Xiana, all her life pinangarap nyang makita si Aaron. Pinangarap nyang makita
yung ama nya, yung mismong taong pinagduduhan yung pagkatao nila. Yung mismong
taong nanakit sakin. I sighed.
Hindi ko na dapat binabalikan ang nakaraan. What's in the past should remain in the
past. We're going back. After five long years, we're going back.
Ang tagal narin naman namin dito sa France eh. Maybe it's really time to let the
the kids meet him. Sana naman ngayon tanggapin na nya ng buong puso ang mga bata.
He's still their Dad.
Maya maya'y dumating na ang kambal kasama si Manang. Xiana ran to me and asked if
she could sit on my lap. Pinaupo ko siya sa hita ko, si Xander naman umupo sa tapat
ko.
"Mommy, je voudrais gateau au chocolat." (I want a chocolate cake) Xander said
while pouting. Tumayo si Cesca sa upuan para siya na ang kumuha ng gusto ni Xander.
"What does Xiana want?" Cesca asked from the counter. Xiana put her finger on her
lips, thinking. Then she beamed. "Un la tarte aux pommes" Sagot niya. (One apple
pie)
Cesca smiled. "Un moment, s'il vous plait." (One moment, please.)
Tinanong ko si Manang kung ano ang gusto nya, waffles lang daw. The staffs are
currently working on our orders. "How's school?" Tanong ko to keep them from being
impatient.
"Good. I perfected po the quiz." Xander said. I ruffled his hair. "Good job baby!
Mommy's proud." Nagsmile siya at nagcross arms naman si Xiana. "Hmpf. Xander always
perfects the quiz! Maybe he is daya that's why."
"I don't make daya! I'm just smart." Tinapunan nya ang kakambal ng isang nangaasar
na tingin. Xiana rolled her eyes. Dumating na yung order namin, a slice of
chocolate cake for Xander, apple pie for Xiana and waffles for Manang.
I watched the twins eat and I unconsciously smiled. Ang cute talaga nila. Kamukhang
kamukha nila si Aaron. Si Xander pati mannerisms kuha nya. Sobrang magkamukha ang
dalawa lalo na kapag nakasimangot ang huli.
"Mommy why are you smiling?" Takang tinignan ako ni Xander. Umiling lang ako habang
nakangiti parin. "Nothing baby. Eat your food na."
"Cassidy, is that you?!"
Gulat na napatingin ako sa nagbanggit ng pangalan ko. There was a familiar guy
standing in front of our table. Tinignan nya ako tapos ang kambal na mukhang gulat
na gulat siya.
I remember his name now. He's a friend of Aaron's. But what's he doing in Paris?
When I recovered from initial shock, I plastered an awkward smile on my lips and
tried to make it look casual.
"Yes, Denver. Ako nga."

41
"All this time you've been hiding in France." Mahina nyang sambit. We decided to
take a stroll in the streets of Paris. Ayokong marinig ng mga anak ko ang pag-
uusapan namin.
I left them with Manang at C'est la vie. Tumango ako bilang tugon sa sinabi nya.
"Yes. Paris is a beauty."
He sighed as if he doesn't know what to say. "Limang taon. Limang taon kang
hinahanap hanap ni Aaron. Limang taon siyang nangulila sayo, sainyo."
Marahas akong napabuga ng hangin. Hindi ko mapigilang hindi mainis sa sinabi nya
sakin. "Hinahanap hanap? He pushed me away when all I did was love him. He was a
jerk. He was an insensitive jerk, a heartless asshole. That's what he is."
"Kahit ganon si Aaron mahal ka nya. Mahal na mahal ka nya." I couldn't help but
laugh when he said that.
"If he loved me then he shouldn't have doubted. If he loved me then he should've
believed me. If he loved me then he shouldn't have had a relationship with Melissa.
If he loved me then he should've made me feel it."
"If only you saw how miserable he was when you left. Kung nakita mo lang yung
itsura nya.. He was always drunk, he wouldn't talk to anyone after he found out
from your friend that you left. Nagpabaya sya sa sarili nya at sa trabaho nya. He
regretted everything."
Hindi ko mapigilang mapapikit ng mariin sa sinabi nya. It was as if I could almost
feel the bitterness and resentment simmering in my very core. "He deserved that."
"I know Cassidy. Believe me, I know. Nagalit kami ni Nax sa kanya kasi ayaw nyang
ayusin ang buhay nya. Tinulungan namin sya at unti unti nakabangon siya. Pero hindi
parin maalis sa kanya yung kalungkutan. He misses you every hour of every day."
Totoo kaya ang sinasabi ni Denver? Did Aaron really feel miserable when I left?
Sabi nya hindi nya na ako mahal diba? He said he was only marrying me for the baby.
Sabi nya gusto niya si Melissa. I had to put up with those shit because I loved
him.
Tapos nung umalis na ako, malalaman kong ganon ang ginagawa nya sa sarili nya? It
seems so unreal. He doesn't love me so why would he miss me?
"I don't believe you Denver." Humalukipkip siya sa sinabi ko. He then heaved a
sigh. "I'm not forcing you to believe me Cassidy. Whether you believe me or not,
it's your call. Basta ako? I told you everything I had to say."
A long silence passed between us. I stared at tourists milling in the distance. Sa
lahat naman ng makikita dito, si Denver pa.
"Are you even planning to let Aaron meet his kids? May karapatan siya Cassidy. Wag
mo naman sanang ipagkait sa kanya yon."
"I'm not planning to hide them forever. Hindi ko ipagkakait sa mga anak ko na
makilala ang ama nila Denver. Gusto ko ring makilala nila si Aaron."
Napapalatak siya. "Gusto mo ring makilala nila? Kelan pa Cassidy?"
"We're going back to the Philippines next week. Dederetso kami sa bahay ni Aaron."
He looked at me intently. "Hindi mo siya maabutan don. He's workaholic. Sobrang
subsob nya sa trabaho ngayon. Nasa office lang siya palagi."
I nodded. "Then doon kami dederetso." I fidgeted with my fingers because I was
feeling uneasy.
"Hindi kita pakikialaman. I will say nothing about this to Aaron. Ikaw bahala kasi
buhay mo to. But I hope you guys can still fix things." Marahang sabi nya habang
nakatingin sakin.
I shook my head. "I'm sorry Denver. Imposible ng mangyari yon. Uuwi kami para
makilala nya ang kambal hindi para ituloy yung relasyon namin dati."
"Imposible? Bakit mo nasabi? May anak kayo. And nothing is impossible Cassidy." I
was about to open my eyes to say something when I heard Drei's voice behind me.
"Cassi." He called. Nilingon ko siya at tila nawala yung uneasiness ko kay Denver.
I smiled at him and he jogged towards us.
"Hey, akala ko mamaya mo pa ako susunduin."
"Napaaga ang tapos ng meeting eh." He possessively draped his arm on my shoulder.
Selos to for sure. He was looking at Denver and Denver was eyeing him with
confusion too.
I cleared my throat. "Uhm, Drei meet Denver. He's my uhh.. friend. Denver meet
Drei, my boyfriend."
Drei's features relaxed and he was the first to extend his hand. Denver shook it,
but his expression was hard to read.
"Nice to meet you." Drei amiably said and Denver forced a smile and said the same.
"Denver, pasensya na but we have to go. Nice bumping into you." Sabi ko. I was
anxious to get the hell out of here. Tumango siya. "See you whenever."
I gave him one last smile before I held on to Drei's hand and walked away. He
kissed my forehead and cupped my face. "Hey sweetheart, you look shaken. You okay?"
Napapikit ako at dinama ang kamay nya sa mukha ko bago tumango. "Yes. It's just
that I wasn't expecting to see him here." At hindi ko inaasahan ang mga sinabi nya.
I shouldn't be affected but I was. I felt angry and annoyed. I couldn't stop my
mind from thinking about those things he told me.
Nagkunot noo si Drei. "Who was he?" I took a deep breath before answering. "He's
Aaron's friend."
Tinignan nya ako ng mataman bago tumango ng marahan. Tapos niyakap nya ako. "Did he
say mean things to you?"
I abruptly shook my head. "No. Nagulat lang talaga ko na nagkita kami. But he's
actually a nice person. I think."
He tightened his hug. "I know you're preoccupied. It's okay if we cancel the date."
"Pero-"
"No buts. I know something's bothering you. Sa isang araw nalang tayo magdate. It's
okay, I'm not mad or anything." Tumingala ako sa kanya and he smiled.
This is one reason why I love him, he always understands. I nodded. "Thank you."
Mahinang bulong ko.
"I love you." He leaned down and gave me a swift kiss.
"I love you too Drei." I really do. I mean it.
-
Days passed by in a blur. Bukas na ang flight namin pauwi sa Pilipinas. Kumpleto
kaming uuwi. Me, Drei, the twins and of course Manang. Titira kami sa bahay ni Drei
doon sa Makati.
Right now, Drei and I are cuddling on the couch while watching a movie. The kids
are already asleep. Xiana's really excited, samantalang si Xander ay ayaw umalis ng
France.
"You smell good." Drei sniffed me and I giggled. "Stop it. Nakikiliti ako."
"Fine." He chuckled and pulled me closer. I closed my eyes and just listened to his
heartbeat. Hinimas nya ang ulo ko. "I love you Cassi."
I raised my head so that I could meet his eyes. "Alam mo, nitong mga nakaraang araw
ang drama mo. Is there something wrong?"
"I'm scared of losing you." He admitted before burying his face on my neck. "Won't
happen." I answered before playing with his hair.
"What if Aaron tells you that he wants you back?" Sabi pa nya. I knitted my brows.
"Well the answer is no. I have you now. At hindi ko ipagpapalit ang isang mabait at
gwapong gaya mo sa isang good-for-nothing na tulad nya."
He cocked his head. "Tingin mo gwapo ako?" A grin slowly materialized on his face.
Natatawang tumango ako bago sya hinalikan. "Sobrang gwapo."
His face lit up. "Ganda mo naman. Bagay tayo diba?"
"Bagay na bagay." Pagsakay ko sa kalokohan nya. Hinatak nya ako palapit sa kanya.
"Basta pag kaharap mo na ang Aaron na yon ha? Remember my gwapong face."
I laughed. "Opo. You don't have to be threatened or whatever."
Aaron's part of my past now. Yung nakaraang ayaw ko ng balikan. At ang nakaraan,
dapat ng kinakalimutan.

42
"Yay! We're here! Hooray!" Xiana jumped happily the moment we descended from the
plane. She was giggling uncontrollably as she craned her neck to have a better look
on her surroundings.

"Baby, calm down okay? You're sweating already." Kinuha ko yung bimpo kay Drei at
pinunasan ang pawisang mukha ni Xiana.

"Let's go see daddy! Let's go see daddy! Let's go see daddy!" She chanted and
Xander who was impatient and irritable looked at Xiana peevishly.

"Xiana you're so noisy. Vous etes enneyeux!" (You are annoying) Sabi ni Xander na
humawak sa kamay ni Drei. Xiana looks like she was about to cry, I scooped her up
and craddled her in my arms.

"Hey beautiful, don't cry." She sniffed and bobbed her little head. Drei carried
Xander too. "Desole. Don't be mad at me mommy." (Sorry) He said before looking
down.

Nilapitan ko siya at hinalikan sa noo. "Mommy's not mad, just don't say something
like that to your sister. Vous me comprenez?" (Do you understand?)

"Oui. Je comprends." (Yes, I understand.) Nginitian ko siya. Manang was walking

behind us, she smiled at me and I did the same. Alam kong nag-aalala siya sa
mangyayari kapag nagkita na kami ni Aaron. Ako din kinakabahan eh.

Hindi ko alam kung anong ineexpect kong itsura nya ngayon. My heart started racing
the moment I set foot on Philippine soil. I took a deep breath and tried to expel
my negative thoughts.

Xiana wrapped her arms around my neck. "Mommy I wanna see my daddy." Tumango ako
bilang sagot. Nilingon ko sila Drei na nasa likod namin. He was carrying Xander in
his arms at nakatulog na ito, mukhang pagod sa byahe ang anak ko. My poor baby boy.

"Baby let's go see your dad later nalang ha? Xander is already asleep, rest muna."
Sabi ko kay Xiana who's now crossing her arms. "Mommy you promised!"

"I know. I'm not breaking my promise, I'm just postponing it. You need to rest.
Aren't you tired?"
"I am. But I really wanna see daddy." Pagpilit pa nya, I sighed and spoke to her
calmly. "But I'm also tired. Rest muna, then we'll see your daddy."

She pouted but gave in eventually. Sumakay kami sa Montero sport na naghihintay
samin sa airport. The one behind the wheel was Drei's family chauffeur. Inihatid
nito kami sa bahay ni Drei sa Makati.

Napaayos na ni Drei yung bahay bago pa kami bumalik. Dere deretso ako sa itaas at
inihiga ang nahihimbing na si Xiana sa kama. Inilapag naman ni Drei si Xander
katabi ng kakambal.

"Aayusin ko lang muna yung luggage natin." Saad nya bago lumabas ng kwarto. Xander
shifted from the bed and slowly opened his little eyes. "Mommy?"

"Yes baby?" He sat bolt upright and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "I don't
wanna see my dad."

Nagulat ako sa sinabi nya. I knitted my brows and sat on the side of the bed. "Why
is that?"

"Papa told me that my daddy hurt you so bad. And that he doesn't want Xiana or me.
My daddy made you cry so I don't like him. He is a bad man." Inosente nyang sabi
sakin. I was a bit shocked. Drei told him that? Kakausapin ko yun mamaya.

Nilapitan ko si Xander at hinawakan ang maliit nyang mga kamay. "That's not true
Xander. Your daddy isn't a bad man."

"But he made you cry. He is bad. I don't like it when Mommy cries." Niyakap nya ako
and I hugged him too. "Listen to me, okay? Just because he made Mommy cry doesn't
mean he's a bad person."

Ayoko namang kamuhian nila ang tatay nila. Drei and I would talk about this once
I'm done conversing with Xander. Hindi na siya sumagot so I tucked him in bed again
and watched the two of them until he fell asleep again.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto at hinanap si Drei. I found him in the kitchen. "Drei can we
talk?" Seryoso kong tanong. Humarap siya sakin at ngumiti. "Yes sweetheart? Anong
problema?"

"Why the hell did you say that to Xander?" He fell silent and looked at me in the
eyes. Then he sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. I just want him to be aware of what
happened between you and Aaron."

"BE AWARE? What the hell was that all about?! Are you crazy? He's four years old
for pete's sake!" I can't help but raise my voice. He dropped what he was doing and
approached me. "Cassidy-"

I quickly cut him off. "Now Xander hates Aaron. Oo I hated Aaron because he hurt me
but that doesn't mean I'm planning to have a revenge on him or whatever! And I sure
as hell don't plan to brainwash my kids to hate their father. Kung ano man ang
pinagdaanan namin ni Aaron, kung galit man ako sa kanya then labas ang mga bata
don!" Hindi ko na napigilan ang pagkainis ko.

Drei wasn't saying anything. Pagkaraan ng ilang minuto ay binasag nya ang
katahimikan. "Bakit ba galit ka? Don't tell me pagbalik natin dito narealize mong
mahal mo pa siya?" Mahinang tanong nya.

"You're unbelievable. Tsaka nalang tayo mag-usap pag hindi ka na kinakain ng

insecurities at jealousy mo." Inis na pahayag ko bago siya tinalikuran.
-

"I'm so excited!" Pumalapak si Xiana mula sa backseat. Si Xander tahimik lang.

Hindi ko parin pinapansin si Drei hanggang ngayon. He's the one driving the car,
nung una tumanggi ako pero mapilit siya.

Papunta kami sa kumpanya ni Aaron and I need not deny that I'm nervous right now.
Xiana is even singing a french song while I couldn't even form a sentence because
of this nerve wracking feeling.

Lalong lumakas ang kaba ko ng magpark na si Drei sa harap ng building. Shit

Cassidy, calm the fuck down!

Bumaba kaming dalawa ng sasakyan, at pinagbuksan ang kambal. Xiana was grinning
like crazy whil Xander was not saying anything. Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago ko
nginitian ang kambal.

"Let's go meet him?" Xiana grabbed my hand. Si Xander nakatingin lang, but
eventually hinawakan nya narin yung kabilang kamay ko. Drei wanted to come with us,
pero dahil galit pa ako sinabi ko nalang sa kanya na itetext ko nalang siya pag
magpapasundo na kami.

He was hesitant at first pero wala naman siyang magagawa. He sighed and entered the
car again. Xander waved before Drei drove away.

This is it. Bulong ko sa sarili ko.

Dere deretso kaming pumasok sa building. Sumakay kami ng elevator and I pressed the
number 12. Kung hindi ako nagkakamali ay yun ang floor ng office nya. The elevator
pinged. Lumabas kami, bumungad sakin ang secretary ni Aaron.

"Hi, maam. What can I do for you?" She asked with a smile. "I'm here to see Mr.
Aaron Ceyx Monteverde. Is he inside?"

"Yes maam, he is. Do you have an appointment?"

"Uhm, no. But I really need to see him. Urgent."

Mukhang nagaalangan ang sekretarya nya bago sumagot. "Kakagaling nya lang po sa
isang meeting kaya nagpapahinga po siya. At hindi po kasi kami nagpapapasok ng
walang appointment, sorry."

"Pero-" I was about to speak when a voice from behind me cut him off.

"Papasukin mo siya. Ako ang bahala sayo Cassidy." Nginitian ko si Denver bilang
pasasalamat at ininguso nya ang pinto ng opisina ni Aaron. He winked at Xander who
was frowning at him.

"Opo S-sir. Pasok na po kayo Maam." Lumapit si Denver at tinype sa LED panel sa
pader and password ng office ni Aaron. I thanked him and the three of us went
inside.

Sumara sa likod namin ang pinto. Humigpit yung kapit ni Xiana sa kamay ko. Ng
tignan ko kung ano, or rather sino yung tinitignan nya ay nanlaki ang mata ko at
napalakas ang pagpintig ng puso ko.

Aaron was sleeping on his swivel chair. I slowly approached him to have a better
look at him. Hindi sya gaanong nagbago. Same face, well-shaven parin sya. I was
busy examining his face when his eyes suddenly opened. I backed away, startled.

Yung mata nya ang tagal nakatingin sakin. Then he spoke. "C-cassidy?! Cassidy is it
really you? Nananaginip na naman ba ako?" Gumaralgal yung boses nya. I slowly
nodded and he quickly bridged the gap between us. He reached for my face and gently
touched my cheeks, as if he was afraid I was just a hallucination.

Pero narealize nya sigurong totoo ako kaya bigla nya akong niyakap. "Cassidy oh my
god. I missed you, I.. I.. God." Hindi siya makabuo ng isang kumpletong
pangungusap. Ako naman ay tila natuod sa kinatatayuan ko.

"Daddy?" Said Xiana's small voice. Bumitaw si Aaron sa pagkakayakap sakin at

tinignan ang pinanggalingan ng boses. Tila nun nya lang napansin na hindi kami mag-
isa sa opisina nya.

His eyes landed on Xiana's face and then on Xander's. Napaawang ang labi nya at dun
ko nakita ang pagtaas baba ng dibdib nya. Mixed emotions were visible on his eyes.
Unti unti siyang lumuhod para makapantay ang kambal.

His lips were quivering as he looked at them with happiness, sadness and disbelief.
He was speechless, and I was too.

"C-can I hug the two of you?" Basag ang boses na tanong nya. Xiana nodded. Xander
looked at me hesitantly na parang ayaw nya pero inudyukan ko siya.

Sa huli ay lumapit din siya kay Aaron. Aaron pulled both of them for a hug. Ang
higpit nyang niyakap ang dalawa.

"Daddy?" Says Xiana in a squeaky voice. "Yes?" Tanong ni Aaron.

"You're more gwapo in person." Sabi ni Xiana na yumakap sa leeg ni Aaron. At

pagkasabi nya non, ay doon ko na nakita..

Ang sunod sunod na pagbagsak ng luha sa mga mata ni Aaron.

43

"Daddy, we have the same eyes." Xiana said as she giggled and clapped her hands.
Aaron smiled at her with delight. "Mas maganda ang mata mo baby." He said as he
scooped Xiana and put her on his lap.

Si Xiana nakakunot na ang noo. "Uhm, the twins don't understand Tagalog. They only
speak English and French." I quickly explained. Aaron looked at me then at Xander
who was sitting quietly beside me then back at Xiana.

"Oh." Mahina nyang sambit at pilit siyang ngumiti.

Parang gusto kong maiyak sa nakikita ko, I know Xiana's really happy right now. She
really wanted to meet her dad at ngayon ay magkakilala na sila nito.

Naglalambingan sila na para bang matagal na silang magkakilala. Si Xander nasa tabi
ko lang. I coaxed him to approach his dad but he quickly shook his head. I sighed.
Xander tends to be stubborn sometimes, only Drei can make him obey orders.

"Xander come here." Xiana hollered but her twin just looked at the two of them.
Aaron's gaze locked onto mine and I quickly looked away. Xiana got impatient and
put her arms on her waist. "Xander!!! Come here na! I'm gonna be galit already!
Daddy's gonna tell us something!"

"Je ne suis pas interesse." (I'm not interested) Sagot nito bago sumimangot.
"Xander!" Nagtaas ako ng boses but he didn't budge. Ang batang ito talaga kahit
kelan. May attitude! Manang mana sa ama!

"Say sorry." I told him as calmly as I could. As much as possible I don't want to
shout at him. I didn't raise them using an iron-fist.

"Non! I don't like him Mommy!" He shouted. Nagpanting ang mga tenga ko sa narinig.
Hindi ko sila pinalaking ganito. "Say sorry Xander. Do not try my patience." May
himig ng inis na sa tono ko.

"Cassidy, hayaan mo na. Kung ayaw nya, it's okay. No need to shout at my child."
Aaron butted in but that only seemed to make my temper skyrocket though I forced it
down. My child? Hah. Eh dati nga pinagdududahan mo kung anak mo ba talaga ang
dinadala ko eh.

"No, Aaron. Hindi siya dapat lumaking bastos. Pag may sinabi siyang mali then he
has to say sorry. I don't tolerate rudeness." Sagot ko at tumahimik nalang siya.
Xander was looking at his foot.

"Xander.." I called. He looked up to me and into Aaron's direction. "Je suis

desole." Marahang sabi nya.

"In english Xander. Don't talk in French because your dad does not understand. It's
rude."

"Sorry." He repeated. Aaron smiled and motioned for him to come closer but he shook
his head. Aaron sighed and spoke in a gentle tone. "Come here buddy, Daddy's not
angry at you."

Sa huli ay lumapit din siya. Aaron patted his shoulder and smiled at him
affectionately. Para ngang maiiyak uli siya eh. Xander sat two seats away from him,
obviously putting distance between the two of them. I'm gonna have to talk to him
when we get home.

My phone suddenly rang and I excused myself. Lumabas ako sa office nya and answered
my call, knowing all too well that it was Drei. Speaking of him, naguguilty ako na
napagsalitaan ko siya kanina.

"I'm sorry." / "I'm sorry!" Sabay pa kami. I laughed lightly and he did too. Tapos
bigla siyang sumeryoso.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry for what I did. You were right. My jealousy and insecurites
are eating me up. I shouldn't have said anything to Xander. Please forgive me."

Napangiti ako, Drei is always like this. Kapag nag-aaway kami o kapag may nagawa
siyang nakapagpagalit sakin ay magsosorry siya agad once he realizes he's wrong.
Ito yung isa sa mga gusto kong katangian nya eh.

"Sorry din. I lashed out. I guess I was just nervous about this whole meeting-up-
with-Aaron thing kaya nadamay ka."

"It's okay. Kasalanan ko naman eh. How's the kids?"

I inwardly smiled when I remembered Xiana's reaction. She was obviously really
happy about seeing Aaron, but Xander? Well, he didn't take it so well.
"Ang saya ni Xiana, sweetheart. If only you could see her face kanina. I've never
seen her this happy before. Si Xander naman, naku ang batang yon. Napakastubborn.
Pagsabihan mo yon paguwi ha? Alam mo namang sayo yan nakikinig." Napasapo ako sa
ulo ko.

"I will. Dinner tayo later? What do you say? Bawi ako sayo." He said using his
sweetest tone, I chuckled.

"Sure. I'll text you pag nagyaya ng umuwi ang kambal. Tapos sunduin mo kami dito."

"Yes maam! Oh sige na, got to go. Kailangan ko ng umalis at tutulungan ko pa si

Manang sa pag aayos ng playroom ng dalawa. Je t'aime mi amoureux."

"I love you too. Wag magpagod ha? Sige na, bye." I dropped the call and returned
the phone on my bag.

"May boyfriend ka pala." Napapitlag ako sa gulat ng marinig ko ang boses ni Aaron.
Humarap ako sa kanya and tried my best to smile but his expression told me not to.
Mukha siyang namatayan.

"O-oo." Nauutal na sagot ko. Like why the hell am I even stuttering? Hello Cassidy?
Ex mo lang yan hindi presidente ng Pilipinas. No need to be nervous. Tinignan nya
yung secretary nya. "Leila, please evacuate the area." He ordered and his secretary
looked at him in utter bewilderment. "Sir? Pardon?"

"I said evacuate the area. Now. Iwan mo kami rito." His voice was full of authority
and the poor employee scampered away. Now we're alone in here and for reasons even
I could not understand, I was starting to be nervous again.

He fixed me with a penetrating stare and I had to swallow the lump forming on my
throat. "Bakit?" Tanong nyang puno ng emosyon.

I furrowed my brows. "Anong bakit?"

Marahas siyang napabuga ng hangin. "Bakit mo ko iniwan? Bakit ang tagal mong
bumalik? B-bakit pagbalik mo may iba na?"

Tila nainis ako sa mga tanong nya. How dare he ask me those questions? Nangiti ako
ng nakakaloko. "You don't get it until now? Oh c'mon Aaron!"

He didn't break eye contact and it's starting to make me uncomfortable. "I know the
reasons Cassidy. I just want to hear it from you."

"Fine! Suit yourself. I left you at pumunta ko ng France kasi gago ka!
Napakatarantado mo! I left because I don't want to get hurt anymore! I left because
I wanna save myself from the pain! I left because it's too much. I left because
you're doubting my loyalty. I left you Aaron because you were not sure if the
babies were yours and the fact that you didn't trust me hurts even more." Napapikit
ako at tatalikod na sana but he grabbed my wrist.

"Let me go Aaron! Babalik na ako sa loob. Dapat hindi mo iniwan ang kambal sa loob,
Xiana's naturally curious at baka kung ano ano ng pinapakialaman nya." Pag iiba ko
ng topic pero hindi nya binitawan ang kamay ko.

"I said let me go!" I tugged at my hand but he tightened his grip. "No, Cassidy. I
will never let you go. Sorry. Gusto kong malaman mo na nagsisisi ako sa lahat ng
pananakit ko sayo and I really-"

I looked at him in disbelief and wrenched my arm free and this time I succeeded.
"Stop it." Naiinis kong sagot. I don't need your explanation. It's years late. At
kahit magsisi ka ay wala ng magagawa ito. It won't be able to change anything.

"The damage has been done." Mapait kong sabi but he held my shoulders and made me
look at his eyes. "No, Cassidy. Please babe let me explain. Alam kong late na pero
sana-"

"Ano ba! It's been five years already! Your explanation wouldn't matter anymore!
Nangyari na Aaron! Wag nalang nating ibalik pwede? I came here not to make peace
with you or continue our relationship but to let my kids meet their father. Yun
lang."

Mukhang hirap na hirap na siya. He palmed his face and looked away. "Please don't
be like this. Wag mong sabihin yan. Gusto kong ayusin natin ang lahat. Cassidy, I
honestly want you back."

"That's impossible. What you did was beyond repair. Wag na nating gawing komplikado
ang lahat. Nasabi ko na sayo ang dahilan, yun lang yon. Ayaw ko lang lumaki sila na
hindi ka kilala. May karapatan karin sa kanila. Pero bukod don Aaron wala ng ibang
dahilan." Mahina ngunit puno ng diin kong sagot. He punched the wall and I cringed.

"Tangina naman Cassidy!" I breathed deeply. "I'm sorry Aaron."

"No, no! Don't say that! Don't turn me down! I need you! Fuck, I'm still in love
with you!" Basag ang boses nyang sagot but he only received a cold stare from me.

"If you loved me then you shouldn't have doubted. If you loved me then you
shouldn't have hurt me. Minahal kita pero sinaktan mo lang ako. Ng paulit ulit."

"Let me make it up to you, please. Just give me a chance." Pagsusumamo nya. He

reached for my hand but I slapped his arm away.

"No. Hanggang dito nalang talaga tayo Aaron." Halos bulong ng sabi ko. He raised
his head. "Hindi ako papayag. I don't wanna lose you." And with that, he approached
me and pulled me by the waist.

The next thing I know? He was already kissing me. I wriggled but he tightened his
hold on me. I pushed him with all my might and slapped him. Sa sobrang lakas ng
sampal, ang lakas ng tunog nito.

Halatang hindi nya ito inaasahan. Namumula na ako sa galit panigurado. Dinuro ko
siya. "Ano ba sa ayoko ang hindi mo maintindihan ha?! I don't love you anymore! I
don't want you back! I don't want to be with you or be anywhere close to you! Ayoko
na sayo!"

His shoulders drooped and he looked defeated. Lumamlam ang mga mata nya. Lalapit
sana siya sakin pero umiwas ako.

"I love my boyfriend, Aaron. At wag mong isipin na iiwan ko siya dahil lang sinabi
mong pinagsisisihan mo ang mga ginawa mo sakin dati. Wag mong isipin na magbabago
yung pagtingin ko sa kanya dahil lang sinabi mong mahal mo pa ako."

Nakita kong namula na yung sulok ng mga mata nya, but I'm too angry to give a damn.

"You lost me five years ago."

44
-
"Smile, princess." Sabi ni Aaron kay Xiana. Sumimangot naman ito at nagpakarga kay
Aaron. The latter gladly took her in his arms, si Xander naman kanina pa tulog sa
balikat ko.

"Can I visit you again at work tomorrow daddy?" Xiana pouted. She looks sad, she
doesn't wanna go home yet but I told her it's already 7 pm. Halos ayaw nya ngang
bitawan ang kamay ni Aaron kanina ng sabihin kong kailangan na nyang umuwi eh.

Natext ko na si Drei na sunduin kami at on the way na siya.

"Sure. Gusto nga ni Daddy araw araw kasama ka nya eh." He answered. Xiana embraced
him and rested her head on his neck. Pagod na siguro at inaantok.

I averted my gaze when Aaron stared at me. Hindi parin ako komportable sa kanya,
naaalala ko yung mga sinabi nya kanina. I don't want to hate him for being a dick,
but I do. I do hate him and he knows it.

I feel kind of guilty that I shouted at him a while ago, but if I didn't do that
then he would think that he still has a chance with me. Ayokong umasa siya. Kasi
totoo yung mga sinabi ko kanina, I don't love him anymore. Kaligayahan lang ng mga
bata ang gusto ko.

In all honesty, kung hindi nga lang ginusto ni Xiana na makilala siya ay hindi na
ako magpapakita pa uli sa kanya eh. He only makes me remember the past and I don't
want to relive it again.

I walked towards the elevator and pressed the open button. We stepped inside.

"Daddy?" Xiana spoke with her eyes closed. She yawned.

"Yes, princess?"

"Why do you call me princess? I'm not a princess po. My name is Alexiana Callisto
Hurdiss." Mahaba nyang saad. Aaron let out a hearty laugh. "Because you're daddy's
princess. Remember that, okay?"

"Yes po. So if I'm your princess, then does that mean Mommy's your queen?" Napaiwas
ako ng tingin sa tanong ni Xiana, but deep inside I also wanna hear his answer.
Xander shifted, inayos ko ang pagkarga sa kanya.

There was a long silence, I even thought Aaron wouldn't answer Xiana's question,
but he did.

"Yes. Your mommy will always be my queen."

*ping*

Lumabas na agad ako ng elevator. Malamang sinabi nya lang yon para hindi isipin ni
Xiana na hindi kami okay. Tama, yun nga siguro ang dahilan. I shut my eyes as I
felt the cold breeze touching my skin.

Mas presko at malinis ang hangin sa Bicol. I sighed sadly. Bicol. I missed that
place so much. Kamusta na kaya si Aling Pacing at Mang Carding? Si Kuya Toto kaya
lasenggero parin? Eh si Didi? Madaldal parin kaya yon? Naalala pa kaya nila ako?

I tried to push those memories out of my mind but I failed. Paulit ulit lang na
nagrereplay sa utak ko ang imahe ni Aaron na nakajersey, nakasoot ng
pangmangingisda..
Napabuntong hininga nalang akong muli habang nakatingin sa kalsada. I was hoping
that Drei would appear any minute now. Aaron was behind me, hindi kami naguusap.

"I'm sorry." He said after a few minutes. I didn't answer, wala akong maisip
sabihin eh. Anong irreply ko, Okay lang? Kahit hindi naman? So I chose to shut my
mouth.

"I'm sorry for everything Cassidy." Tumingin ako sa malayo. I don't want him to
talk. Because everytime he does, he keeps on saying something about our past. It's
like his words are like knives that are trying to reopen an old scar.

"And thank you." He whispered and the wind carried his words away. Nilingon ko siya
sa pagkakataong ito. "Salamat para saan?"

He smiled and in that moment I could swear that his eyes were misty because of
unshed tears. "F-for giving birth to the twins. For taking care of them. For loving
them. They are my angels."

Xander shifted again and slowly opened his eyes. He looked at me. "Mommy are we
going home already?"

"Yes baby. Tulog ka uli." I told him but he shook his head. "Non. Put me down po. I
wanna make salubong when Papa shows up."

I put him down and I saw him look at Aaron. Aaron smiled at him but he didn't smile
back. He just held my hand and ignored him. Nakita ko ang paglamlam ng mata ni
Aaron.

He heaved a sigh and when he noticed that I was looking at him, he forced a smile.
Inayos nya ang ulo ni Xiana na nakalungayngay na.

"Mom, why is Papa tagal? I want to see him. I miss him agad." Xander said as he
tugged at my hand. Lumuhod ako para pantay na kami. "He's on his way. Be patient."

He nodded. Yumuko ako at bumulong sa tenga nya. "Why don't you talk to your dad so
you won't get bored, huh?"

Marahan siyang umiling iling. Hindi ko na talaga alam ang gagawin ko, ayaw talaga
ni Xander kay Aaron. Kanina habang nagkkwentuhan si Xiana at Aaron ay nakaupo lang
siya habang nakatingin sa dalawa.

Kapag tinanong siya ni Aaron, sasagot lang siya tapos tatahimik na uli. Tumayo na
akong muli at nanahimik na lang. My phone beeped. I took it out and smiled when I
saw that Drei sent me a message.

Malapit na ako. Traffic. Sorry, I love you. I typed a reply. It's okay. Don't text
while you're driving. Love you.

I then slid the phone back in my pocket. "Cassidy?"

I turned towards Aaron and raised my eyebrows in inquiry. "Yeah?"

"Kelan ang birthday ng mga bata?"

"May fifteen." Maikling sagot ko, he nodded and muttered his thanks. Malayo pa ang
birthday ng kambal. August thirty palang ngayon eh.

"Hey buddy, what do you want for your birthday?" Masiglang tanong nito kay Xander
kahit walong bwan pa. Nagtaas lang ito ng tingin bago nagkibit balikat.

"Do you want a toy car? Gusto mo bilhan kita ng malaki? Or isang set ng ganun?"

Xander raised his head to look at him before shaking his head. "No thanks, I have
many toys. My papa bought them for me."

"Xander." I warned. Nagiiba na naman ang tono nya eh.

"Well, do you want new toys?" Aaron asked again, obviously not giving up. Xander
shook his head for the second time. "I only accept toys from my Papa, Sir."

"You can call me Dad." Lumambot ang tono ni Aaron.

"Don't wanna! I already have a Papa!"

"Xander!" Tumingin ako sa kanya bago lumuhod at hinawakan ang balikat nya. "We've
talked about this right? He's your dad, Xander."

"But mommy, my teacher, Ms. Dubreil said that a kid can only have one father. And I
have Papa already."

Napasapo ako sa ulo ko. I already explained to them that Aaron is their real dad.
They've always known that Drei wasn't their real father so I don't understand why
my son acts like this.

"Hayaan mo na Cassidy. Hindi lang siya sanay sakin. Nabigla siguro. It's okay. He
needs more time. Bata pa sila ni Xiana." Aaron said as if he understood. Nailing
iling nalang ako and decided to just let the matter go. I was about to open my
mouth to say something but I saw Drei's BMW.

Nagpark siya sa harap ng building. He descended from the car and Xander ran to him
excitedly.

"Papa! You are so tagal! I missed you!" Drei grinned and lifted him from the
ground. Kinarga nya ito at pagharap nya ay nagkatinginan sila ni Aaron.

"My son seems to be so fond of you." May konting himig ng lungkot nyang saad. Drei
raised an eyebrow. "Yeah."

Matagal silang nagtitigan. They didn't even bother to hide the animosity between
them.

"So, you're Aaron." Pagkaraan ay utas ni Drei. Aaron nodded and knitted his brows.
"And you are?"

"Raven Andrei. You can call me Drei." Aaron looked at him using a cold expression.
Para mawala ang tensyon sa paligid ay nilapitan ko si Aaron at kinuha si Xiana.
Dahan dahan nya itong inilipat sa balikat ko.

"Drei, ipasok mo na si Xander sa backseat." I commanded and he obeyed. Nilapag ko

ang natutulog na si Xiana sa tabi ng kakambal and I shut the car door afterwards. I
was fully aware that Aaron was watching us. Drei leaned on the car and watched him.

I sighed and took a step towards him. I tried to give him the sincerest smile I
could ever give. "Thank you for making the twins happy."

"Xander doesn't seem happy to me." He said matter of factly. "Ikaw na rin ang
nagsabi, nagaadjust pa ang bata. Hindi kasi sanay sayo. He's a nice boy once you
get to know him."

"I hope he gives me the chance his mother deprived me of." Makahulugan nyang saad.
I looked at him and patted his shoulder. "We have to go, Aaron. Goodnight."

Tinanguan nya ako kaya tumalikod na ako. But he called me. "Cassidy!"

Lumingon ako and I felt Drei's hand on mine. "Ano yun?" I queried.

"I'm not giving you up, not without a fight. Keep that in mind." Determination was
dripping from his voice.

Drei's grip tightened and I saw him give Aaron a death stare. "Bastos ka talaga no?
Hindi mo ba mantindihan na ako na ang boyfriend nya? Na parte ka nalang ng nakaraan
nya? Na ako yung mahal nya at hindi ikaw? Wag mong ipagpilitan ang sarili mo!"

Nagdilim ang itsura ni Aaron, and I must admit na natatakot ako. I tugged at Drei's
arm. Pinagtitinginan na kami ng mga gwardya ng building. "Drei, halika na. Wag mo
ng patulan. Please, let's just go home."

"Anong wag patulan? Bastos eh! Hindi marunong lumugar! Irespeto mo yung relasyon
namin pre! Ayaw na nga sayo eh!"

Aaron eyed him with distaste. "Whatever you do, you can't erase the fact that I
became a part of her. Hindi mo kayang burahin yung nakaraan namin! We even have
kids for pete's sake!"

"You're right! You're part of her past and that's all you'll ever be!" Maanghang
nyang sigaw. Aaron's face became expressionless.

"She's mine. Before you even loved her, she was already mine." Mariing utas ni
Aaron.

"She was yours. But now she is mine. Wala ka ng magagawa. I won't do the same
mistakes you did! Just back off! Hindi porket bilyonaryo ka ay babalik si Cassidy
sayo! You hurt her and pushed her away! Kailangan nga kitang pasalamatan eh, kasi
kung hindi mo siya sinaktan walang kami ngayon. Kaya hayaan mo na lang kami." Drei
was furious.

Pumagitna na ako. I tried to push Drei towards the car but my effort was useless.

"Hinding hindi ko kayo hahayaang maging masaya. Call me a villain or whatever the
hell you prefer but I won't let that happen. I can't lose her." Puno ng emosyon
nyang sabi habang nakatingin sakin. Napalunok ako.

"SHE IS MY GIRLFRIEND! You are nothing to her now. You are just a good-for-nothing
billionaire. Bilyonaryo ka lang tandaan mo yan!" Galit na sabi ni Drei. Ramdam ko
ang paghulagpos ng galit nya.

"Tama na, please stop this." I said while raising both hands. We're making a scene!

Aaron's gaze drifted from my face to Drei's. There was amusement visible in his
eyes. "Anong sabi mo? Bilyonaryo. Lang. Ako?"

He raised his chin proudly and slowly, a smirk materialized on his face. Then it
became a short laugh. Pagkaraan ng maikling sandali ay tinignan nya uli si Drei
habang nakangisi parin.

"Bilyonaryo LANG ako?" Ulit pa nya.

Muli siyang nagpakawala ng nakakalokong tawa bago nagsalita. "But remember, this
billionaire.. owns the woman you call a girlfriend. Deal with it."

45
❤

"Drei, calm down. Ce n'est pa grand chose." (It's no big deal) Mahinahon kong sabi
sa kanya, he was gritting his teeth. Nakatuon lang yung mga mata nya sa kalsada. I
can see his knuckles turning white because of his tight grip on the steering wheel.

He cursed under his breath. "Calm down? How can I calm down when your ex wants to
tear us apart?!" He muttered angrily. Hinawakan ko yung braso nya. He stiffened.

"Let's just put this behind us. Please. Wag mo nalang siyang patulan." Pagsusumamo
ko, marahas siyang napabuntong hininga bago ako binigyan ng saglit na tingin. "He's
pathetic. He's utterly desperate to have you back and I won't let that happen."

He parked in front of the house and quickly got out of the car to open the car door
for me. Yung kambal parehas tulog sa backseat.

Drei pulled me in for a hug and I felt him kiss the top of my head. "God, I'm
terrified. I'm so terrified to lose you." Niyapos ko rin ang mga braso ko sa kanya
at inihilig ang ulo ko sa dibdib nya. "I love you and that's all you need to
remember."

Itinaas nya ang baba ko at ginawaran ako ng isang banayad na halik. He smiled at
me. "And I love you more. I love every single bit of you."

I pouted. "Well, what's not to love about me? I mean, I'm a goddess right?" I
kidded and he grinned. "Yep. A freakishly beautiful goddess."

Natatawang hinampas ko yung balikat nya. Ipinasok na namin ang kambal sa loob at
inihiga sa kama. Bukas ko na sila papaliguan, they're tired. I watched the two
sleep peacefully.

"May utang ka pang date sakin." Drei said sweetly. Tumayo ako at humarap sa kanya.
I checked the clock, it's already 8:30 pm. "I'll go take a bath." Paalam ko.

He gave me a smirk and winked at me. "Sabay na tayo gusto mo?" He offered while
grinning.

Binato ko siya ng unan but he caught it. "Oh, shut up Drei." I took my towel and
barged inside the bathroom for a quick shower. Afterwards, I wore my robe and
bathroom slippers and wrapped the towel on my head.

Pagkalabas ko, nagtaas ng kilay si Drei and he whistled appreciatively. "Like what
you're seeing?" I teased. Tumayo siya at lumapit sakin, he closed the distance
between us. "What if I say yes? What are you gonna do?" He huskily whispered on my
ear before biting my earlobe.

Natatawang tinulak ko siya. I tiptoed to give him a kiss that I cut off
immediately. "Take a bath. Don't make me wait." Pagkasabi ko nun ay tinalikuran ko
na siya at dumeretso sa kwarto ko.

I wore a tight-fitting cream colored backless dress and skin tone heels. I applied
mascara and nude lipstick. Nagblower ako ng buhok and then I'm all set.

Naghahanap ako ng purse na dadalhin ng biglang tumunog ang phone ko. Unregistered
number kaya hindi ko sinagot. Kaya lang paulit ulit na tumatawag kaya sinagot ko
na. "Hello?"

There was only silence from the other line, ibaba ko na sana when I heard Aaron's
hoarse voice.

"Cassidy.." His voice resonated and my heart raced. Hindi ako sumagot. I heard
something break.

"Are you okay?" Nagaalalang tanong ko. Hindi siya sumagot. Mahabang katahimikan ang
namayani kaya ibaba ko na sana ang tawag ng magsalita siya.

"I'm still in love with you."

*toot toot toot*

I eyed the phone in my hand with mixed feelings. Pagkatapos nyang sabihin yon ay
ibinaba nya agad ang tawag. Napaupo ako sa kama bago ko inilapag dito ang
cellphone.

God, Aaron. Ano bang gagawin ko sayo? I hate him, but not to the point that I want
to hurt him. I was in that state of mind when Drei opened the door to my room and
peered inside.

"Hey baby, you okay?"

"Yes. I was just about to go out."

"Okay, hintayin na kita." Sagot nya. I calmed myself before taking my purse with me
and facing him. I gave him a smile.

"You are so beautiful it should be illegal." I chuckled. "You are so bolero you
should be arrested."

Lumapit ako sa kanya at umabrisyete. Bumaba kami at nagpaalam kay Manang. "Ingat
kayo."

Humalik ako sa kanya bago kami lumabas ng bahay. As usual, pinagbuksan ako ni Drei
ng pintuan ng kotse bago sya sumakay.

"Where to?" Tanong ko. "Just the usual. Sa favorite restaurant ko."

I nodded. Tumahimik lang ako buong byahe dahil hindi ako mapakali dahil sa pagtawag
ni Aaron. I shouldn't be affected but I am.

Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit nya ginagawa to. I don't understand why he has to
lie to me and say that he loves me. Hindi ako naniniwala. Kasi bago ako umalis,
sinabi nya na sakin na si Melissa ang gusto nya.

And speaking of Melissa, asan na kaya siya? Magagalit kaya yun dahil bumalik ako?
Well, why would she be angry? Hindi naman ako bumalik para agawin si Aaron sa kanya
eh, bumalik ako dahil sa mga anak namin.

I inwardly groaned when I remembered the scene a while ago. They look so ready to
bludgeon each other to death. Buti nalang nagpatianod na si Drei nung hatakin ko
siya papunta sa sasakyan.
I saw how Aaron's expression changed. I saw hurt flashed in and out of his eyes but
I looked away, kasi kagaya ng dati hindi ko kayang salubungin ang tingin nya.

"We're here." Pukaw ni Drei sa atensyon ko, bumaba ako agad at hindi na hinintay na
pagbuksan nya ako ng pinto. I gave him a reassuring smile when he shot me a
confused look.

Kumapit nalang ako sa braso nya habang papasok kami sa restaurant. A waiter ushered
us to our table. I like the ambiance of this place.

Simple but elegant and sophisticated. Ipinaghila nya ako ng upuan bago siya umupo
sa kanya. Tinignan nya ako sa mata bago nagsalita. "Tonight there's only you and
me."

Ng sinabi nya yun ay para bang gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. Drei has this effect on
me. Dati pa man ay magaan na ang loob ko sa kanya, I'm comfortable when I'm with
him.

He's not only a boyfriend but also a good friend. "I love you." Wala sa sariling
sambit ko na nakapagpangiti sa kanya. "Forever?" Nakangising sambit nya.

"Loko, walang forever!" Ganting sagot ko. He reclined on his chair and tilted his
head. "Wala? Eh ano ang meron?"

"Destiny." Maikli kong sagot. May sasabihin pa sana ako kaso naalala ko na naman si
Aaron. He used to tell me before that forever is for suckers. There is no such
thing, he would say.

"Wala namang forever eh. It is an illusion created by people who are slaves of
love. It's an expression, a metaphor." Paliwanag nya habang nakasandal ako sa
balikat nya.

"Metaphor? Augustus Waters ang peg?"

Nagkunot siya ng noo. "What I mean is, yung forever ineexaggerate lang ng mga tao.
It's a metaphor for a kind of love that lasts a lifetime. When in truth, it doesn't
exist. Everything in this world is temporary. Nothing is permanent. Nothing lasts
forever."

Napahalukipkip ako sa sinabi nya. He continued, "So when you fall in love, hindi
yun aabot ng forever. Instead of believing in that shitty concept inventedby
hopeless romantics, you should love deeply because the feeling won't last forever.
Kaya ako? Mamahalin kita hanggang malagutan ako ng hininga, because even though our
love won't last for eternity, I'm certain that it will make a lasting importance."

"Cassidy! Hey! Baby, you okay?" He repeatedly said and I blinked several times. "O-
oo. Sorry, I zoned out."

"It's okay. Order na tayo." Nagabot ng menu ang waiter na nasa harap na pala namin.
Pumili ako ng sakin and Drei did too. Inulit nung waiter ang order and when he was
sure that all the orders were jotted down correctly, he excused himself to pass it
to the kitchen.

Nagkwentuhan muna kami ni Drei para hindi kami mainip sa paghihintay sa order
namin. Hindi naman ito natagalan. Maya maya ay nakita ko na ang waiter na dala ang
order namin.

Inilapag nito ang mga putahe sa table. Ilalapag na sana nito ang lemongrass juice
na inorder ko sa mesa ng biglang may isang bultong bigla nalang sumulpot sa likod
nito at bumunggo dito, dahilan para mabuhusan si Drei ng juice.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Gulat na sigaw nya, natatarantang nagsorry ang waiter pero ang
mata ko ay napako sa lalaking nasa likuran nito. He smirked deviously and looked at
Drei's wet pants. "Oops. My bad."

Galit na tumayo si Drei sa upuan. "What the fuck are you doing here Aaron?!" Puno
ng iritasyon nyang tanong.

Nagtaas naman ng kilay si Aaron at tinapunan siya ng nakakalokong tingin.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm date crashing."

46
Our dinner date was ruined. After Aaron showed up, Drei angrily paid the bills and
tugged at my hand. We walked out of the restaurant, leaving Aaron behind. I sighed.

Drei wasn't speaking so I just kept my mouth shut. I don't wanna say anything
because it might aggravate the situation. We entered the car and he drove calmly, I
looked out the window and tried to not think about what Aaron did.

But it's no use. I remember the details very vividly, yung pagbunggo nya sa waiter
para matapon kay Drei yung juice, yung ngisi nya at yung paraan ng pagngiti nya. It
was embedded on my mind and I shook my head.

Pinipilit kong hindi mainis pero ayun at nararamdaman ko ang pagkairita sa kanya.
Pagkatapos nya akong saktan sasabihin nyang mahal nya ako? Well, bullshit. Ilang
taon ng late ang mga eksplanasyon nya.

Hindi ko na yon kailangan. I am perfectly happy with my life right now, with Drei
and the kids in it. Wala akong intensyong magpaloko sa kanya uli. Dun nalang siya
kay Melissa.

"We're home." Mahinang sambit ni Drei, tulad kanina hindi ko na hinintay na

pagbuksan nya ako. I opened the car door and jumped off of my seat. Lumabas narin
siya sa kotse at bakas parin ang pagkairita sa mukha nya.

Dederetso na sana siya papasok ng bahay but I blocked his way. I immediately cupped
his face. "Hey, handsome. Wag ka ng mainis. We're home now, walang Aaron na eepal
satin dito."

He sighed and removed my hands. "I didn't fight him at the restaurant because I
know you wouldn't like it. But I swear I wanna tear his limbs one by one."

I pulled him for a hug. "Thank you Drei. Pasok na tayo, don't think about that guy.
Tama ka, he's just desperate to have me back."

Worry was dripping from Drei's features when he faced me. "That won't happen right?
Hindi ka naman babalik sa kanya diba?"

I put my hands on his chest before giving him a reassuring smile. "Nope. I have
you."

That's when a small smile materialized on his face. "Can't wait to go back in
France." Tumango nalang ako at niyaya siyang pumasok para matulog. But that night,
hindi ako nakatulog ng maayos because of a voice message I received just as I was
about to go to bed.
It was a recording sent by Aaron. Naguguluhan, kinuha ko muli ang phone ko at
plinay ito. I can't believe he recorded this.

At kagaya ng una kong reaksyon ng una kong marinig ito ay napapikit ako ng mariin
ng marinig ko ang boses nya.

"Still scared?" Said his gentle voice. Natatandaan ko to, kakatapos lang nya akong
halikan dahil natatakot ako nung sumakay kami ng ferris wheel.

"Not anymore. Not when you're around." Sabi nung boses ko. Nagpakawala ako ng
malalim na buntong hininga habang nakatingin sa kisame ng kwarto ko.

"I love you." I heard myself say. Nakatingin kami nito sa isa't isa eh, and he
stared at me with love.

"I love you too." Sagot nya. I smiled sadly as I remembered that day very vividly.
Nalulungkot ako dahil dati pala ang sweet namin. But look at us now. Halos hindi ko
na nga maalala yung memories namin sa sobrang tagal na eh.

But this recording made me remember. And I hate it. Tinignan ko ang phone ko at
clinick ang delete.

May nagpop up sa screen: Are you sure you want to delete this?

Matagal kong tinitigan yung screen. Tapos bigla kong pinindot yung No. I set my
phone down and palmed my face. Shit, Cassidy! Delete that! Baliw ka ba? Ano gusto
mo uling pakinggan?

I irritably took my phone again and pressed delete. Nagpop out uli yung tanong.
Tulad kanina matagal ko uli itong tinitigan. Napapikit nalang ako and pressed my
answer.

Yes.

Maaga akong nagising. Pagbaba ko ay nagulat pa ako ng makitang gising na si Xiana.

She ran to me and I knelt so she could kiss me. "Goodmorning to my beautiful
mommy!" She smiled and I ruffled her hair affectionately.

"Why are you up early?" I queried and knitted my brows. She pouted. "We're gonna
see Daddy today kaya!" She jumped in glee and I had to carry her and made her sit
on a high stool so she would stop.

"Right. Almost forgot." Sagot ko bago siya nginitian. She gave me a toothy grin.
Pumasok muna ako sa bathroom to do my morning routine. Naghilamos ako and I brushed
my teeth. Paglabas ko nadatnan ko na si Drei sa kusina. Nilingon nya ako at ngumiti
sakin.

He approached me wearing that smile and gave me a smack. "Morning." Bati nya.

"Morning. What's for breakfast?" Tanong ko. He usually cooks breakfast for us, kasi
si Manang hinayaan nalang naming magbantay sa mga bata. Hindi na namin siya
masyadong pinapakilos dahil may katandaan na.

"Smoked chicken, fried rice, ham and bacon." He answered while preparing his
ingredients. Tumango ako, si Xiana nagpababa na sa stool. Ibinaba ko naman siya.
She ran to the living room. Siguro manonood ng tv yon.
"Dadalhin ko uli ang mga bata kay Aaron. Alam mo naman, sabik na sabik si Xiana sa
kanya." Paliwanag ko kay Drei, I don't want him to get mad once he finds out about
this on the last minute.

He nodded understandingly. "I can't drive you to the building Cassi. I'm really
sick, sorry baby."

Lumapit ako sa kanya at kinapa ang leeg nya. He is sick!

"Wag ka ng magluto. Bakit naman di mo agad sinabi sakin? Lika na, let's get you to
bed. Pahinga ka lang." He shook his head, he kept on insisting that he wants to
cook for me and the kids but I strongly vetoed his idea.

"No. Magddrive thru nalang kami. Tara na sa taas."

Umakyat kami sa taas at hinatid ko siya sa kwarto nya. I forced him to lie in bed
and after a few coaxing, he finally gave in. "I'm gonna cook soup for you." I told
him.

Kahit naman tanga ako magluto ay kaya kong gumawa ng soup, it's really basic.
Bumaba ako at tumingin ng ingredients sa fridge pero ubos na pala. Napamura ako,
kumuha nalang ako ng bread tapos gamot at water tsaka ko siya inakyat uli sa taas.

"Ubos na ingredients natin. I'll do the grocery later para maipagluto kita. For now
yan muna." Tumango siya at kinain ang bread bago uminom ng gamot.

"Pagaling ka ha?" Nagaalalang sabi ko. He smiled weakly before nodding.

I gave him a tight smile. "I love you." Mahinang sabi ko, he looked at my face.

For some unknown reason, naalala ko yung memory ng pagsakay namin ni Aaron sa
ferris wheel. I told him I loved him.

"I love you too." Sagot ni Drei, pero sa hindi malamang kadahilanan ay mukha ni
Aaron ang nakita ko..

"Mommy! Lookie! I can see Daddy oh! He's standing outside the building. Do you
think he's waiting fr us?" Xiana said exhilaratedly asked. She was obviously stoked
to see Aaron again.

Xander was in the backseat next to his twin, playing with a robot. Tahimik lang
siya. I parked at inalalayan ko silang bumaba ng kotse. Xiana ran to Aaron and the
latter's face lit up when he took Xiana into his arms.

"I missed you Daddy!" She giggled and Aaron's laugh resonated. "Daddy missed you
too baby. Where's Xander?" Tanong nya.

Si Xander na nasa tabi ko ay nagtago sa likod ko. My physique was doing little to
hide him. Kinarga ko siya at lumapit kay Aaron. My face remained emotionless.

"Hindi ko gusto yung ginawa mo kagabi Aaron." I said in a serious tone, I talked to
him in Tagalog so the twins won't understand what we're talking about. I don't want
them to think that their parents are fighting.

"Alin don? Yung pagpunta ko sa date niyo o yung pagpapadala ko sayo ng recording?"
Inosenteng tanong nya.
"Parehas. Pwede bang hayaan mo nalang kami? Masaya na ako Aaron." Mahinang sabi ko
bago dumeretso sa elevator. Pinindot ko yung 12 at sumakay din siya. Each one of
the twins in our arms.

"Hindi kita pwedeng hayaan. Hindi ko kaya. Marami na akong nagawang mali non at
gusto kong itama lahat yon. Gusto kong bumawi sayo." He replied.

I rolled my eyes heavenwards. "Kung gusto mong bumawi sakin, mahalin mo ang mga
bata. Yun lang okay na sakin."

"Mahal ko ang mga bata Cassidy. Kahit di mo sabihin yan gagawin ko parin kasi anak
ko sila. Pero hindi lang anak ang gusto ko, gusto ko ng asawa. Ng kumpletong
pamilya." Madamdamin nyang sagot.

"Ikaw ang sumira ng kumpletong pamilyang yon. Hindi ako. Hindi ka nagtiwala sakin."
Saad kong may himig ng hinanakit. Nagflash na naman sa utak ko yung mga away namin
non and I felt a pang of pain strike my heart. Aaron's trying to open up the past
that I worked so hard to bury.

"Kaya nga naghihingi ako ng pagkakataon eh. Pagbigyan mo naman ako."

"Alam mong may boyfriend ako, kaya wag ka ng umasa. Ayokong mas lalo kang
masaktan."

He sighed before setting Xiana down. Ibinaba ko narin si Xander.

"Daddy what are you and Mommy talking about?" Xiana looked at her dad, confused.

"We were talking about how cute the two of you looked like when you were born."
Aaron smiled. Nginitian ko rin si Xiana and nodded.

"O, Mommy needs to go. She has to buy some groceries to cook soup for Papa."
Paliwanag ko. "I hope Papa gets well soon." Xiana said before she scooted closer to
Aaron.

"Papa's sick?" Xander spoke. He caught Aaron's attention. I nodded slowly.

"Please tell Papa to get well. I get sad when he's sick." Malungkot nyang sabi.
Marahas na nagiwas ng tingin si Aaron.

"Okay, I will. Be good to your Daddy, both of you. Mommy's gonna come back to fetch
you but in the meantime behave." Paalala ko. They nodded in unison. I kissed them
both and said goodbye before I headed to the elevator.

Hindi na ko nagpaalam kay Aaron, I'm still not comfortable after what he just said.
Pumasok na ako sa elevator and the doors were about to close when Aaron ran and
pressed the open button.

Hindi siya pumasok, nakatingin lang siya sakin at ako sakanya.

Pagkaraan ng mahabang sandali ay nagsalita rin siya.

"Sabi mo ayaw mong lalo akong masaktan?"

Hindi ako sumagot. Nanatili lang akong nakatingin sa kanya.

"Handa akong masaktan para sayo. Kahit ilang beses. Kahit sadyain mo. Kahit paulit-
ulit Cassidy, okay lang. Basta para sayo."
Pagkatapos nyang sabihin yon ay sumara ang pinto ng elevator, leaving me inside
feeling confused with everything.

47

I headed to the supermarket. I have to restock the fridge. Ang lakas kasi kumain ng
kambal kaya madaling maubos ang laman ng ref. Tinulak ko yung cart ko papunta sa
mga bibilin kong ingredients para makagawa ng soup. Pagkatapos, dun naman ako
tumungo sa mga snacks.

Kukuha sana ako ng cookies ng may isang cart na bumunggo sa cart ko. "Sorry! Naku
iha sorry." Said a familiar shrill voice. Nagtaas ako ng tingin at halos maubos ang
kulay sa mukha ko ng makita ko kung sino siya.

She looks stunned to see me as well. She then smiled at me when she regained her
composure. "Cassidy. It's been such a long time." Panimula nya, I breathed deeply
and forced a smile bago ako nagsalita. "Hello, Tita. Nice to see you again."

Buti nalang hindi ako nautal. Standing in front of me is Beth Monteverde, Aaron's
mother. Sa loob ng mahabang panahon, inisip ko kung anong sasabihin ko sa kanya
kapag nagkita kami uli. But now, my mind went kaput.

Wala akong masabi, I just continued staring at her. She was nice, but when she
asked me to let go of Aaron 9 years ago I can't help but hate her. Pero alam ko
namang ginawa nya yon kasi ina siya, at ngayong ina rin ako, alam ko na basta para
sa anak mo gagawin mo lahat.

She cleared her throat. "How are you? Matagal kang nawala." Saad nya. I gave her an
awkward shrug before picking up another box of cookies. "I was in France. I've been
doing well. Kayo po ba?" I asked politely.

She smiled sadly. "Ako okay lang, yung anak ko? Not so much."

I was so anxious to leave, ayokong balikan ang nakaraan. Feeling ko sinusumbatan

nya ako. Umiwas ako ng tingin bago huminga ng malalim. "I don't want to be rude,
pero kailangan ko na pong umalis-"

"Have lunch with me Cassidy." She said abruptly and I stopped on my tracks. I
turned towards her hastily with confusion visible on my face. Why would she want to
have lunch with me? She doesn't have to feel guilty about what she did in the past,
I've put it all behind me.

I was about to think of a proper response when she held my hand and gently squeezed
it. "Please. I just want to talk to you."

Napalunok ako, I know I'm gonna regret it afterwards but heck! How can I say no to
her? I nodded and she beamed. Bibilisan ko nalang para maaga akong makauwi para
maipagluto si Drei. We paid for the things we bought and headed to a restaurant.
Hinayaan kong siya na ang magorder para sakin.

This is making me uneasy. Sharing lunch with my ex's mom is not on my to do list.
"Cassidy, Aaron told me about the twins. He called me yesterday night and I was so
delighted. He was so delighted." Kumikislap ang mga mata nya habang sinasabi nya
yon.

"That's good Tita." Maikling sagot ko. She looked at my face as if searching for
something, then all of a sudden she sighed sadly.

"My son is still stupidly inlove with you." Dumagundong ang puso ko ng marinig ko
ang sinabi nya. Parang may nabuhay na kung ano sa loob ko, pero ipinilig ko ang ulo
ko para mawala ito.

"When you left, sinira nya yung buhay nya. Alam mo ba na ni hindi na niya ako
kinakausap dati. All he wanted to see and talk to was you. Papasok siya ng walang
tulog, hindi na halos kumakain at palaging tulala. Aaron was in chaos and-"

"Bakit nyo po sakin sinasabi to ngayon tita?" Putol ko sa kanya. Ayoko ng marinig
ang kung ano pang sinasabi nya. I don't want to hear how miserable Aaron was when I
left, because to be honest, I endured a much greater pain than he did.

"I'm sorry iha, kung iniisip mong sinasabi ko to ngayon para sumbatan ka then
you're wrong. I just want to open your eyes, maraming pagkakamali ang anak ko at
hindi siya perpekto pero mahal ka nya. At nagsisisi na siya."

Yumuko ako at umiling iling. "Huli na po ang pagsisisi nya. I have a boyfriend. And
I love him. And I'm not gonna leave him just because my ex told me he wants me
back. Aaron already had his chance with me but he chose to waste it. He lost me a
long time ago."

Malungkot akong tinitigan ng mommy nya. She reached for my hand again and pressed
my palm. "Please Cassidy. Give him a chance to prove his worth again. He loves you
so much and I can see it in the way he suffered when you left."

"I'm sorry." Hindi ko siya kayang tignan. Unti unti kong binawi ang kamay ko sa
kanya. I heard her sigh. "Listen to your heart iha. It knows the right path."
Mahina at makahulugan nyang saad.

Hindi ko na kaya, tumayo na ako sa upuan at humarap sa kanya. "I'm sorry tita, I'm
so sorry but I have to go." Magalang kong sabi bago ko binitbit ang mga groceries
at nagmamadaling lumabas sa lugar.

I hailed a cab. Parang lantang gulay na napasandal ako sa backseat ng taxi ng

makapasok ako. I never expected to see her here nor did I expect that she would
tell mo those things.

Nagpahatid ako sa bahay. Sinalubong ako ni Manang at tinulungan akong magbuhat ng

mga grocery bags. Inakyat ko si Drei at nakitang kakagising lang nya. I sat on the
side of the bed and touched his face. "Hey."

"Hey." Mahinang sagot ko. Nagkunot noo naman siya and reached for me. "May problema
ba?" His voice was hoarse. Umiling nalang ako at napagdesisyunan na wag nalang
sabihin sa kanya, ayokong magalala siya at magisip pa.

"Feeling any better?" Tanong ko, he slowly shook his head as if even that small
movement exhausted him. Hinalikan ko siya sa noo bago ako nagpaalam na bababa para
ipagluto na siya ng sopas.

Madali lang naman akong natapos, kumuha ako ng mangkok at ipinagsandok siya nito.
Nilagay ko sa isang tray kasama ng isang basong tubig at isang tabletang gamot.
Aakyat na sana ako para ihatid ito sa kanya ng tawagin ako ni Manang.

"Bakit po?"
"Anak, napapansin ko simula kahapon parang wala ka na sa sarili mo. Okay ka lang?"
Nagaalalang tanong nya. Ngumiti ako at tumango. "Opo. Marami lang iniisip."

Mataman nya akong tinignan. "Iniisip? Tulad ng ano?"

Hindi ako makasagot. Tumikhim siya. "Si Aaron no?"

Malalim na nagpakawala ako ng hininga. Tapos tinignan ko siya bago umiling. "Hindi
po. Uhm, iniisip ko po ang bakeshop. Kung napapatakbo ba nila ng maayos o-"

"Kilalang kilala kita anak, kaya hindi ka makakapagsinungaling sakin." Nagkamot ako
ng ulo at sumilay naman ang isang ngiti sa kanyang labi. "Sabi na nga ba si Aaron
ang bumabagabag sa isip mo eh."

Pinili kong manahimik nalang, kinuha ko yung tray at umakyat ng hagdan. Nasa tuktok
na ako ng magsalita uli siya.

"Mahirap labanan ang tadhana, kaya mas mabuti pa magpaanod ka nalang. Kasi kung
pipilitin mong labanan, lalo ka lang masasaktan." Nagkunot noo ako, sasagot pa sana
ako kaso narinig ko na ang pagsara ng pinto. Ibig sabihin lumabas si Manang.

Napailing nalang ako bago pumasok sa kwarto ni Drei at ilapag ang tray sa mesa.
Hindi siya masyadong madaldal kasi may sakit siya. Sinubuan ko siya ng soup at
pinainom ng gamot. "Thanks sweetheart." Mahina at paos na sabi nya.

Nginitian ko siya at inalalayang sumandal sa headboard ng kama bago ko siya

pinunasan ng basang bimpo. Nakapikit lang siya. "Kinulit ka na naman ba ni Aaron na
makipagbalikan?" Pagkaraan ay tanong nya.

Hindi ako sumagot at pinagpatuloy lang ang pagpupunas sa kanya. "Hindi ka

sumasagot, so ibig sabihin pinilit ka na naman nya. Alam nya namang ayaw mo na sa
kanya bat pa nya isinisik-"

"Drei stop." Medyo iritado kong saad. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla akong nainis.
Siguro dahil ang dami ng iniisip ng utak ko ngayon.

"Sorry." He apologized. Bumuntong hininga ako at hinaplos ang mainit nyang pisngi.
"Okay lang. Xander and Xiana said get well soon. Alam mo namang nalulungkot ang
dalawang yon pag nagkakasakit ka."

A small smile materialized on his face. He looked at me, his glassy eyes staring
into mine. "I can afford to lose everything Cassidy. But not you and the kids."

Nakaupo ako sa kama at kasalukuyang nagsusuklay ng buhok. Nakatulog na si Drei kaya

makakapagpahinga na ako. I was about to lie in bed when my phone rang.

Natutop ko ang bibig ko ng makita ang pamilyar na unknown number. Isang tao lang
naman ang hindi ko sinesave ang numero eh.

Kabado kong tinignan ang laman nito. Ngunit nagulat ako na imbis na mensahe ang
laman ay isa na naman itong voice message.

Kinakabahang pinindot ko ang play.

"Say that again."

"Say what again?"

"Yung tinawag mo sakin kanina."

"Sweetheart."

"God, that sounds nice."

And at the sound of his voice, my heartbeat accelerated. Shit.

48

Tatlong araw na. Tatlong araw ko ng iniiwasan si Aaron. Si Drei ang pinaghahatid ko
ng mga bata papunta sa opisina niya o minsan naman sa bahay ni Aaron. Sumasama si
Manang para siguraduhing walang gulo na magaganap.
After I received the voice message ay blinock ko na ang number nya. I won't give
him the benefit of the doubt for confusing me with my feelings. I can't let him toy
with my emotions again. Napabuntong hininga ako bago umupo sa kama.
Nagkita kami nila Theia at Psyche kanina. They were so happy to see me and they
were also excited to see the twins.
The door to my room suddenly opened and the twins barged inside and jumped on my
bed. Xiana and Xander both hugged me. "You guys are home!" I enthused. Xiana
giggled and hugged me. "Yes po. We met grandma today. She was so nice to us, right
Xander?"
Xander nodded and smiled towards me. "I like grandma. She gave me a nerf gun." I
ruffled his hair. Drei appeared on the doorway and my son quickly ran to him. Drei
winked at me before carrying Xander to his arms.
"Papa let's play. I want to be the cop this time, you're gonna be the criminal." He
said and Drei nodded. "Sure kiddo."
Lumapit ako kay Drei and gave him a smack, Xander pushed my face away and I looked
at him in confusion. I feigned hurt. "You don't want Mommy to kiss Papa?" I asked.
Xander shook his head repeatedly before crossing his arms. "No. Because he's a
criminal. Papa is a baddie. You can't kiss a baddie."
Drei and I both laughed. "Oh sige na. You guys play capture the criminal." Drei
mouthed 'love you' before going downstairs with Xander in his arms. Umupo ako sa
kama habang pinapanood si Xiana na magsuklay ng mahaba nyang buhok.
Tinabihan nya ako at kinuha ko ang brush sa kanya para ako na ang magtuloy.
"Mommy?"
"Yes?" She craned her neck to see my face. Her forehead is creased. "What is the
meaning of mahal kita?"
I stopped combing her hair and set the brush on the bed, next to me. "Why do you
ask baby?"
"There was a large portrait of you on Daddy's house. It was hanging on the wall and
it's the first thing you're gonna see when you enter."
Nanigas ang katawan ko sa sinabi ng anak ko. He keeps a picture of me in his house?
"Really? Then that's.. amazing." Pilit akong ngumiti sa kanya. She scooted closer
to me. "And mommy, when Daddy thought I couldn't hear, he faced the portrait and
whispered."
"What did he say?" I asked, suddenly interested.
Xiana pouted. "Mahal kita." Napahinga ako ng malalim. My traitorous heart was
beating rapidly again. I don't like what I'm feeling. Not again. I mumbled to
myself.
"Mom are you okay?" Xiana cupped my cheeks and I forced myself to smile even though
I was about to explode inside. "I'm okay." I lied. I'm not okay. I'm confused and
bothered at the same time. I don't know what to believe in anymore.
"Mommy, Xander smiled at Daddy. He's starting to be nice to him na. I think
Xander's just shy at first."
"That's good. Did you guys behave well when you were there?" I asked and she
proudly nodded. "Yes po. Daddy is so kulit. He keeps on taking pictures of us, he
said he's gonna have those pictures developed and that he would hang those around
his house."
Xiana set her head on my lap and I braided her hair while she talked nonstop about
her Dad. "Sometimes I catch Daddy looking at us with tears in his eyes. Is he sad?"
"No, sweetie. He's happy. He's happy to be with you because he loves the two of
you. Sometimes you cry because you're happy." I explained and I almost stuttered.
"Daddy always tells us he loves us. Do you know what else he told us?"
"What?" I inquired as I tied her hair after finishing the braid.
"He told us he loves you daw po. So much." My heart swelled. Hindi ko maintindihan
kung bakit pero may luhang namuo sa mata ko at hindi iyon nakaligtas kay Xiana. She
stood up and hugged me. "Mommy why are you crying? Are you sad?"
Maagap akong umiling. "No, honey. Mommy's not sad." Bumitiw siya sa yakap nya at
umupo sa harap ko. "You said that sometimes people also cry when they're happy. If
you're not sad, then you must be happy. You're happy Daddy loves you?" She asked
innocently.
I was caught off guard. "No, I.. I uhm.." I sighed. "Yes, Mommy's happy Daddy l-
loves her." Sagot ko nalang para hindi siya maguluhan at magtanong pa. She gave me
a toothy smile.
Inakay ko na siya pababa sa hagdan. Manang was cooking dinner. Nakita kong
naghahabulan si Drei at Xander. Xander shot him with his nerf gun and Drei
pretended that he was wounded. He held his chest and slowly collapsed on the floor.
Xander grinned. "Victory!" He yelled. Drei grinned and he gave him a high five.
Pawis na pawis si Xander kaya lumapit ako sa kanya para punasan siya.
Tinawag na kami ni Manang para kumain. After eating nanood kami ng movie and then I
tucked them in bed. I read them a story about The Snow Queen. In a matter of
minutes, Xiana was already snoring.
Xander was looking at me. I've already finished telling the story but he's still
awake. I set the book down and caressed his face. "Why aren't you asleep yet
sweetie?"
He blinked his little eyes twice. "Daddy is not that bad."
I smiled before nodding. "Yes. He's not. He loves you."
"He bought me robots and played with me. He even told us he won't go to work so he
could spend more time with us."
I saw happiness in his eyes. He yawned. Inayos ko na ang unan nya at kinumutan
siya. "Goodnight Xander. I love you."
"Love you too mom." Nginitian ko sya at pinatay ko na yung ilaw ng lampshade ng
bigla siyang magsalita. "I love my daddy too."
-
Alauna na ng madaling araw ng bigla akong magising dahil sa sunod sunod na pagring
ng cellphone ko. Who the hell would call me at this hour of the night?!
Without thinking, I grabbed the damn phone and placed it near my ear after I
pressed accept. "Who the hell is this?" I queried angrily out of extreme annoyance.
I heard loud music blaring on the background. Loud bar music, to be exact.
"Hello?" Ulit ko ng walang boses na sumagot.
"This is Casssidy right?" Said a baritone voice which sounds familiar. "Yes, may I
know who I'm talking to?" I didn't bother to hide the slight anger in my voice. I
really hate it when someone wakes me up from a good sleep.
"This is Nax. Please come over here and help me. We're at Andromeda."
Nanlaki ang mata ko. "W-wait! What do you mean?"
He sighed. "Aaron's going ballistic. He hasn't seen you in days and he drank too
much. Now this dullard is out of control. Hindi raw siya uuwi hangga't hindi mo
siya sinusundo. I tried to drag him to his car but he punched me."
Napataas ako ng kilay. "What?! Iinom inom siya tapos hindi nya pala kaya? That
stupid guy! He's not my problem. I'm sorry Nax but I can't help you." Mariin kong
saad.
"Please Cassidy."
"I'm sorry." Sagot ko bago ko binaba yung tawag. Iniiwasan ko nga si Aaron dahil
wala syang ibang ginawa kundi ang guluhin ang utak ko.
I tried to get some sleep but I failed. My mind won't shut itself. Paulit ulit
nitong iniisip si Aaron. Baka mamaya nakipagsuntukan na yon. Warfreak pa naman
kapag lasing.
Ipinilig ko ang ulo ko para mapawi ang pag aalalang kumakain sa sistema ko.
Pinipikit ko ang mga mata ko para mawala ang imahe nya pero bawat pagkakataong
gawin ko yun ay biglang lilitaw ang lasing nyang itsura sa utak ko.
Napamura ako bago ako tumayo ng kama at magbihis. Shit. Ngayon ko lang
kukunsintihin ito, ngayon lang. Bukas iiwasan ko na uli siya. Bulong ko sa sarili
ko habang kinukuha ang susi ng kotse. I tied my hair in a messy bun bago
nagmamadaling lumabas ng bahay.
Hindi na ako nagpaalam kay Drei, tulog na yon at isa pa sandali lang naman ako. I
ignited the car's ngine and I sped off into the night, towards Andromeda. Dahil
gabi na ay walang gaanong sasakyan at mabilis akong nakarating sa bar. I parked and
braced myself to see him.
I was greeted by the bar's familiarity. Natanaw ko na agad si Nax at maya maya ay
pati narin si Aaron. Pulang pula na ang maputi nyang mukha dala ng kalasingan.
Mabilis akong lumapit sa kanila.
Nax shot me a thankful look. "God, Cassidy. Akala ko hindi kana talaga dadating.
Aaron went berserk."
I sighed, hinarap ko si Aaron na nakalungayngay ang ulo sa table. I tapped his
back. "Time to go home." Nagtaas siya ng tingin at nakita kong malamlam ang kanyang
mata.
Nginitian nya ako. "Handito ka, tell me I'm not d-dreaming." Yung boses nya
garalgal na. "Let's get you home." Tumango tango siya bago nawalan ng malay.
"Great. Just great." Malakas ang tolerance ni Aaron sa alak, siguro kaya ganito sya
ngayon ay sobrang daming nainom. This guy is such a royal pain in the ass.
Tinulungan ako ni Nax na buhatin siya. Nilagay namin siya sa backseat ng kotse ko.
Nax was in the driver's seat, habang ako katabi ni Aaron. Every once in a while he
would shift in his seat and open his eyes to look at me.
"You are sooo beautiful." Nakatawa nyang sabi habang hinahaplos ang mukha ko.
Maagap kong hinawakan ang kamay nya at ibinaba yon. I felt something weird when I
touched his hand.
Tahimik lang na nagddrive si Nax, I almost wanted to thank him for not being nosy.
For not prying. We reached Aaron's pad in no time. Tinulungan nya akong iakyat si
Aaron sa kwarto pagkatapos ay nagmamadali rin siyang umalis.
Napailing ako habang tinatanggal ang sapatos at medyas ni Aaron. "Alam mo ikaw
pasaway ka talaga." Pagkausap ko sa kanya.
Umungol lang siya, tinanggal ko na yung isa nyang medyas. "Akala ko pa naman kaya
mo na ang sarili mo ng wala ako. Hindi pala. Tsk." Inilagay ko sa isang tabi ang
medyas at sapatos. Nilagay ko sa full volume ang airconditioner.
Napalunok ako ng hawakan ko ang hem ng tshirt nya. I tapped his cheek to wake him
up. He looked at my face and he groaned.
"Lift your arms up please." He moved sluggishly but he obeyed. Unti unti kong
tinanggal ang shirt nya, I was mentally cursing myself for finding his abs
attractive. Dammit Cassidy, get a hold of yourself.
Nagtagumpay akong matanggal ang shirt nya, but when I did, I gained a clear view of
his chest. Nanghihinang napaupo ako sa kama sa tabi nya. He has a tattoo. Bulong ko
sa sarili ko habang hinang hinang nakatitig sa dibdib nya.
On the left side of his chest was a three letter tattoo. Tatlong letra lang. But it
was more than enough to turn my knees into jelly, more than enough to feel
butterflies in my stomach.
I stared at the tattoo again.
CMH.
My initials.
He had my initials tattooed on his flesh. He shifted and caught me staring at it.
He covered it with his hand. "Staring is rude."
I looked into his eyes, yun yung sinabi nya sakin nung magising kaming dalawa after
a night of passion in Bicol.
Dahan dahan kong inalis ang kamay nya at hindi ko mapigilang haplusin ang tattoo.
"CMH." I mouthed.
He nodded, his head was lolling. Yung isang kamay nya kinapa rin yung tattoo.
Tinuro nyang yung letter C. "This stands for Cassidy."
His finger moved to the letter M. "Margaux."
Then to the last letter, "H-hurdiss." Parang lantang gulay na nahulog yung kamay
nya sa side. Napapikit siya uli but his eyes suddenly fluttered open. They
registered on me. He was fighting to stay awake.
"Alam mo.. kung bakit dito ko sa left chest pinalagay?" Malungkot na sabi nya. I
was already teary eyed. "B-bakit?" Utal kong tanong.
Hinawakan nya yung kamay ko at nilagay yun dun. I felt his heart beating eratically
just like mine. Napapikit ako to block and conceal the tears.
No more tears. Naalala kong sabi ko sa sarili ko nung paalis na ako. But here I am,
shedding tears in front of this drunkard.
Ramdam na ramdam ko yung init ng dibdib nya at yung tibok ng puso nya. He pressed
my palm harder on his chest.
"Because the left chest.. is where the heart is.. Para kahit umalis ka non,
mararamdaman ko.."
A single tear escaped his eye, it streamed down his cheeks and I watched it until
it fell on the bedsheet.
"Na nandito ka parin. Sa puso ko."

49

MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYS! I LOVE YOU ALL!

My heart suddenly constricted when he said those words. All it takes is one Aaron
Ceyx Monteverde to confuse me. He passed out because of too much alcohol intake.
Kaya ito ako ngayon, kanina pa nakatingin sa kanya habang himbing siyang natutulog.

I checked my wristwatch and saw that it was almost three thirty am. I need to
leave. Tumayo na ako at akmang lalabas na sana ng kwarto nya when he shifted and
called my name. I sighed before facing him.

"C-cassidy." He called again, mariin kong hinawakan ang door knob. "I'm here."

He was still asleep, hanggang ngayon pala he still sleep talks. Napangiti ako ng
wala sa sarili. Kailangan ko ng umalis, bye Aaron.

"Please. D-don't leave me." Ungol nya. Muli akong lumingon, nagitla sa takot na
narinig ko sa boses nya. Tulog na tulog siya pero yung itsura nya mukhang lungkot
na lungkot. I heaved a sigh before sitting next to him on his bed. Hinaplos ko yung
buhok nya. "I'm not going anywhere big guy." Mahina kong sambit.

I know I'm eventually gonna regret it but screw everything! Kukunsintihin ko muna
ang katangahan ko, kasi bukas balik na naman sa normal ang lahat. I gave him one
last look before dragging his spare pillow on the couch.

Tonight I'm gonna sleep with him, tonight I won't lie to myself, tonight I'm gonna
admit that I missed his presence. Because tomorrow, I'll have to face the truth
that there's no Aaron and me. There's a brick wall standing between the two of us.
And that brick wall has a name. Drei.

I closed my eyes and istantly felt exhaustion washing over me.

-

I felt butterfly kisses on my face. I smiled. This is such a nice dream, I thought
as I waited for another set of kisses. It came, then I felt lips on mine. I was too
tired and too sleepy. This dream feels so real. I don't wanna wake up yet. Kahit
naalimpungatan na ako ay itinuloy ko parin ang tulog ko.

When I finally woke up, the sun was already high up. I panicked when I saw Aaron's
bed disheveled. His blanket and bedsheet were pell-mell on his bed.

Naabutan nya ako! Damn it! I knew I should've woken up nung naalimpungatan ako!
Naalala ko yung panaginip ko kanina. Those butterfly kisses! That wasn't a dream!
It was Aaron kissing me. Nagtambol ang puso ko sa loob ng katawan ko.

I heard water splashing inside his bathroom. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. Makakaalis
ako. Matagal maligo yun eh. Lalabas na sana ko pero naalala kong baka masakit pa
ang ulo nun dahil sa hangover. Good thing girl scout ako.

Kumuha ako ng gamot pantanggal hilo at sakit ng ulo at nilagay ko sa bedside table
nya with a glass of water.

Pagkatapos ay patakbong bumaba ako, I moved stealthily so he won't be able to hear

me go. Ng malapit na ako sa pinto nya ay natuod ako sa pwesto ko. Staring at me is
a huge portrait of myself.

So he does keep a portrait of me in here. It was taken in Bicol, the night we went
to the amusement park. I breathed deeply to calm my raging nerves. Hindi ko to
napansin nung pumasok ako kagabi dahil madilim. But now, it's staring at me and
perforating holes in my system.

Oh, Aaron. Pinilit ko ang sarili kong talikuran ito. I had to remind myself that I
needed to go. Nagmamadali akong lumabas and I was almost relieved ng makapa ko ang
susi ng kotse sa bulsa ng jeans ko. Sumakay ako and off I went.

Ganon pala talaga ang buhay, tsaka mo pagsisisihan pag nagawa mo na. Tsaka mo
maiisip ang consequences pag nangyari na. Just like now. Ngayon pa lang pumasok sa
utak ko si Drei. Kung anong mararamdaman nya pag nalaman nyang kasama ko si Aaron
buong gabi, kung nagaalala ba siya dahil wala ako sa bahay. It's all starting to
sink in and I'm feeling guiltier each passing minute.

I'm screwed. And I blame my stupidity for this! I should've listened to the logical
part of my brain. But no, I had to follow what the foolish part has been coaxing me
to do. And that's to be with Aaron. This is stupid. Everything is stupid.

There are a myriad of thoughts running on my mind right now and I just don't know
what to do. Nagpark ako sa tapat ng bahay. Ninenerbyos na lumabas ako ng kotse. I
pocketed the keys and I half-prayed that Drei is still asleep in his room right
now.

Teka, anong oras na ba? Ng makita kong 11 am na ay napahilamos ako ng kamay sa

mukha ko. Drei is an early bird. Malamang ay 7 palang gising na yon. I took a deep
breath before pushing the gate open.

I almost gasped in astonishment when I saw him leaning on the gate wall. He was
giving me a stern look. "H-hey." I spoke calmly. I was trying too hard to make it
sound casual that I overdid it.

"Where the hell have you been?" Naiirita nyang tanong. Wala akong maisagot. I don't
wanna lie, but I don't wanna say the truth and hurt his feelings. I composed a
convincing lie on my mind but what came out was wrong. "Jogging. Nagjogging ako."

Napataas siya ng kilay before staring at me from head to foot. Tapos tumingin siya
sa labas. "Jogging, huh? You jogged wearing skinny jeans, doll shoes and a hoodie?
And you even brought the car with you while you were jogging? Nice try Cassidy but
you can't fool me."

Napalunok ako. Hindi na ako sumagot. I don't like seeing Drei angry or hurt. "I'm
gonna ask you again. Where have you been?" Mas malumanay nyang tanong sa
pagkakataong to.

I didn't dare raise my head. I couldn't meet his eyes. "Sa bahay ni Aaron.."

The next thing I heard was a loud crash. I cringed. Nakita ko yung paso nabasag
dahil sinipa nya. Nakita ko ang galit sa mata nya. "D-drei, sorry. He was drunk
last night and he wouldn't come home-"

"BULSHIT! That's bullshit! Damn it Cassidy! You spent the night in his fucking
house?! Here I was worried to death about you, and there you were spending precious
time with your shitty exboyfriend. Did something happen between the two of you?!
Putangina naman! May boyfriend ka! Use your damn head! Balak nyo nabang sundan ang
kambal ha?! Goddammit answer me!" Galit na galit siya. I've never seen him this
angry before and this side of him scares me. I backed away.

"S-sorry. Nothing happened, I swear to God. I'm sorry." Nauutal kong sagot.
Lumambot yung ekspresyon nya ng makita ang reaksyon ko, he reached for me pero
pumiksi lang ako. Napapikit siya. "Cassi, look. I didn't mean to shout at you it's
just-"

"O-okay lang. I'm tired. Papasok na ako sa loob." Nagmamadali akong naglakad palayo
sa kanya but he pulled me in for a hug. Dumadagundong ang dibdib ko dahil sa takot
ng sigawan nya ako. Hindi talaga ako sanay. Right now, I just want to get away from
him.

"Shit. Cassidy, I'm so sorry. I was just jealous and I... shit, I wasn't thinking.
I'm so sorry sweetheart." His voice was soft again but it can't erase the scene he
did a while ago. "I just want t-to rest. Please Drei." Umalis ako sa yakap nya.

He looked so helpless while staring at me, regret overtly flashing in his eyes. But
I was anxious to put distance between us. Tumakbo ako papanik ng kwarto ko at
tumalon papunta sa kama. On my heart was a feeling utterly new to me. My heart was
beating rapidly but not because I was excited. But because I felt fear. I was so
utterly scared of Drei.

Nagkulong lang ako sa kwarto, I don't want to talk to him or see him or anything.
Napapitlag ako ng may kumatok sa pinto ng kwarto ko. Kinabahan ako bigla. "P-
pasok."

Drei entered at pigil ang hiningang pinanood ko ang unti unti nyang paglapit sakin.
Umupo siya sa gilid ng kama ko at hindi ko maiwasang umurong palayo. Hindi parin
mabubura bura sa isip ko ang imahe nyang may nanlilisik na matang nakatingin sakin.

He sighed before reaching out for me but I scooted away so I could avoid his touch.
Napapikit siya ng mariin sa kinilos ko. "I'm sorry. Please just let me hold you in
my arms, I hate seeing you like this. This hurts me, the fact that I can see fear
in your eyes hurts me."

Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na hininga bago umurong palapit sa kanya. I don't want
to hurt him. Hindi ko kaya. He spent his life protecting me and the kids and I
should return the favor.

He saw my change of emotions and he smiled sadly before embracing me. "I love you,
and I'm ashamed for the way I acted."

I don't know what to say, I honestly don't know what to say. Hinaplos nya yung
buhok ko. "I love you." Ulit nya. Doon ko lang napagtanto na naghihintay siya ng
sagot mula sakin. He's waiting for me to tell him that I love him too.

I stared at the wall and forced myself to say those three words but what came out
of my mouth was, "I'm sleepy."

Malungkot nya akong tinignan bago tumango, he kissed my lips but I didn't respond.
He left the room with a resigned sigh. His heavy footsteps slowly faded.

Napasapo ako sa ulo ko and mentally cussed. What the fuck Cassidy? What's happening
to you.

Ibinagsak ko ang sarili ko sa kama at niyakap ng mahigpit ang isang unan. Hindi ko
na alam kung anong nangyayari sakin. Oh baka alam ko, pero di ko lang kayang
aminin. Damn it! I knew I shouldn't have gone to the bar! I knew I should've stayed
her! But no!

At ngayon hindi na matahik ang utak ko sa kakaisip. God, mababaliw na ako. I

remembered Aaron's tattoo and the way his tear fell. He looked genuinely hurt.
Hindi ko rin napigilan ang sarili kong madala sa emotional mess nya. Hindi ko alam
kung ilang beses na akong napamura sa utak ko.

The image of his bare chest flashed on my head. The CMH tattoo was emblazoned in my
mind. Napalakas ang tahip ng puso ko. I groaned in frustration. Maybe I should
really go to sleep. Successful naman ang tulog ko, nagising ako ng marinig ang
matinis na tili ni Xiana. Inatake agad ng kaba ang dibdib ko.

Nagmamadali akong bumaba without bothering to check if I look decent. Hell, this is
my daughter we're talking about here! The twins' safety before anything else!

Sa kamamadali ko ay natapilok ako sa hagdan. I was readying myself for the crash
but it didn't happen. Napasinghap ako ng makita kong may brasong yumakap sakin,
dahilan para hindi ako mahulog. "You know I will always catch you, right?"

Gulat na napalingon ako ng maulinigan ko ang boses. He gave me a penetrating stare

and my knees wobbled.

"A-aaron, uhm. S-salamat." Utal utal kong sagot, he chuckled like the charming
prince he really was. "No, thank you. For taking care of me last night." My cheeks
flushed and I looked away in a glorious attempt to hide it.

Inalalayan nya akong tumayo. Tsaka ko lang naalala si Xiana, hinanap siya ng mata
ko at dali daling nilapitan. "I heard you shriek. Are you okay baby? Did something
happen?" Alalang tanong ko.

But to my confusion, she giggled. "No Mommy. I was just excited to see Daddy. I
never thought he would visit Xander and me."

Aaron smiled. "Of course I will, I can't get enough of my cute babies."

"I'm not a baby anymore, Mommy says I'm gwapo." Inosenteng sabi ni Xander na
nagpatawa kay Aaron. Hinanap ng mata ko si Drei. Pano nakapasok si Aaron? Does Drei
know about this? Kung hindi baka magwala na naman yon.
Nagkatinginan kami ni Manang, and I quickly approached her. "Manang, where's Drei?"
Kinakabahang tanong ko as soon as I was out of earshot.

"Dumaan daw sa kaibigan nya. Sabi ko nga kay Aaron wag syang magpaabot dito at
siguradong magkakagulo eh. Sabi naman nya sandali lang daw siya at may ibibigay
lang sayo." Tumango tango ako.

"May ibibigay ka daw?" Untag ko kay Aaron, he looked at me and gave me a smile.
"Ah, oo. Here. You forgot this in my house." He took out a long leather thing from
his backpocket and gave it to me.

Nanlaki ang mata ko ng makitang wallet ko ito. Naiwan ko pala sa bahay nya! I'm so
careless!

"Buksan mo." He instructed. Nagkunot noo naman ako but I obeyed.

I gasped. Nagtaas akong tingin sa kanya at hindi ko mabasa ang ekspresyon nya. Sa
wallet ko, dati ay may dalawang picture na nakalagay. Yung isa picture ng kambal,
at yung picture namin ni Drei.

"Sorry natagalan ang pagsoli ko ha? Pinaedit ko pa kasi eh." He smirked at me.

I looked at him in disbelief again. Ngayon, imbis na si Drei ang katabi ko doon sa
picture ay siya na. Ito yung ibig sabihin nya nung sinabi nyang pinaedit nya pa.

He had Drei erased from the picture and replaced by him instead!

Unti unti siyang lumapit sakin. He leaned forward and whispered.

"Dati pa man sinabi ko na sayo, territorial ako. What's mine is mine alone."

50
"Are you okay?" I'm not okay. Nothing is okay. But instead of saying all those, I
gave Drei the best smile I could come up with. He says I've been acting weird
lately, Ididn't say anything back.
"Look sweetheart. If it's because of me shouting at you last week, then sorry. I
didn't mean to. I was carried away and I-"
"Drei ikaw na yung nagsabi, last week pa yon. Hindi na ako galit." This time totoo
na ang ngiting binigay ko sa kanya. Ayokong hayaan si Aaron na tuluyang mapaglaruan
ang mga emosyon ko.
Isang linggo ko ng kinukumbinsi ang sarili ko na tigilan na ang kabaliwan ko. Isang
linggo narin siyang busy. Ang dami nya kasing naiwang trabaho nung mga nakaraang
araw dahil puro ang kambal ang inaasikaso nya. Kung hindi lang talaga urgent ang
problema ng kumpanya ay malamang babad parin siya sa kambal.
I should stop thinking about him and worrying about him. He's ruining me, dammit.
At hindi na mabuti to. Mahal ko si Drei at siya dapat ang iniisip ko. Naparahas ang
paghinga ko. Lumapit sakin si Drei at niyakap ako.
I hugged him too. Napakasarap sa feeling. Ang gaan ng loob ko na nagkaayos na
kaming dalawa. Minsan nga lang di ko maiwasang maisip yung pagsigaw nya, natakot
ako aaminin ko.
But I know he's not gonna hurt me, he will never hurt me. I've known him for so
long at alam kong yun yung bagay na hinding hindi nya kayang gawin sakin. Ang
saktan ako. Hindi tulad ni Aaron. They are complete opposites.
Kay Drei kampante ako, kay Aaron? Ang daming what ifs. Ang daming doubts. Hindi ko
na alam.
Tinaas ni Drei ang mukha ko at hinalikan ako. I kissed him back and it feels good.
"I love you." He said after breaking the kiss.
"Me too." Sagot kong may halong pag aalangan. Shit. Nararamdaman ko naman na mahal
ko siya, pero ewan ko ba. Ang gulo, I can't even understand my own feelings
anymore.
Nasa kwarto nya kami ngayon, kakatapos lang namin manood ng movie. "I love lazy
evenings with you." Hinaplos nya ang buhok ko at napangiti ako. Inaantok ako sa
ginagawa nya eh.
Para bang eto nalang ang gusto kong gawin, ang matulog. Kasi pag tulog, panandalian
mong natatakasan ang mga bagay na bumabagabag sayo. Ganon ako eh. Duwag ako. Lahat
ng hindi ko na kayang harapin tinatakasan ko.
Nakatulog ako sa kwarto nya, pagkagising ko kinabukasan ay wala na sya sa tabi ko.
Kinusot ko ang mata ko bago bumaba. Naabutan ko si Manang na nagluluto. I knitted
my brows. "Manang, bat ikaw ang nagluluto? Where's Drei?"
Nagkibit balikat siya. "Ewan ko dun. Umalis na naman ng maaga. Hindi naman
nagsasabi sakin kung saan pupunta."
Nagtaka ako. The last few days, palaging nawawala sa bahay si Drei. Hindi ko alam
kung saan siya nagpupunta. Kapag tinatanong ko naman, isa lang ang palagi nyang
sagot. Dumalaw sa kaibigan.
Ayaw ko naman siyang pagdudahan dahil hindi siya ganong tipo ng tao. He won't cheat
on me. I know him too well. Tumango nalang ako at umakyat sa kwarto ng kambal. They
were sleeping soundly.
Hinalikan ko silang dalawa sa noo bago muling bumaba. Naglinis muna ako ng sala
para malibang naman and just to kill time. Boring eh. Mag-aalaskwatro na ng hapon
nung umuwi si Drei.
"San ka galing?" Salubong ko sa kanya habang nagtatanggal siya ng sapatos. Nagtaas
siya ng tingin sakin tapos umiwas ng tingin. Now he's acting weird.
"May inasikaso lang." Simpleng sagot nya. Umupo ako sa silya sa tapat nya. "Na
naman? Ilang araw na yan ha."
Bumuntong hininga siya bago tumingin sakin. "Oo."
Umiling iling nalang ako at akmang aakyat na sana nung hagipin niya yung kamay ko.
I gave him a confused stare. "Let's go out tonight. Babawi ako."
I smiled. "Okay." Dun lang nagrelax yung ekspresyon nya. Tumayo siya at hinatak ako
palapit sa kanya. He looked at me in the eyes. "Tonight will be magical." Puno ng
emosyon nyang saad.
Hinalikan nya ako bago muling nagsalita. "Pahinga ka muna. Sabi ni Manang naglinis
ka daw ng bahay kaya pagod ka. Maaga pa naman. You can still sleep."
Tumango ako at umakyat ng hagdan. "Cassidy!"
I looked back. "Yes?"
"May nakakalimutan ka yata?" Kumalabog yung dibdib ko. That was the very same thing
Aaron said when we were at Bicol. Napakuyom ako ng palad bago nagsalita. "I l-love
you."
He smiled, satisfied. Nagmamadali akong pumasok sa kwarto at umupo sa kama. Aaron's
invading my mind again. Sinunod ko ang payo ni Drei at natulog. Ng magising ako ay
magaalas syete na. I took a quick bath and chose a dress from my closet. Simpleng
light blue dress lang na pinartneran ko ng three inches heels.
I was applying lipstick when Drei entered. He smiled at me through the mirror. I
smiled back. Unti unti siya lumapit at hinalikan ang tuktok ng ulo ko. "I'm
nervous." Maikli nyang pahayag.
Nagkunot noo ako. "Why would you be nervous?"
Pumikit lang siya bago umiling. He pasted a smile on his lips again. But I can see
that he is indeed nervous. He is not his usual self and I don't know why. I hugged
him. "Everything's gonne be okay."
I felt guilty the moment I said those words but at the time, it felt like the right
words to say.
"I hope so." Anas nya. Pinagpatuloy ko na ang paglalagay ng make up sa sarili ko.
Light lang naman. Ayokong magmukhang cake no. Pagkatapos ay kinuha ko ang purse ko
at umabrisyete kay Drei. Sabay na kaming bumaba ng hagdan.
Si Xiana at Xander ay napatingala. Pati rin si Manang. Xiana wasn't saying
anything, she was just looking at us. At Drei, in particular. Hindi siya ngumiti o
kahit ano. Which felt unusual since she's a very loquacious kid. Si Xander ay
ngumiti sa Papa nya bago nag-okay sign.
What's happening? Lumuhod si Drei at niyakap ang kambal, may binulong din siya sa
mga ito. Xiana doesn't seem to like what it was while Xander was okay with it. He
patted their heads. Ako naman ang yumakap sa mga bata. "We're gonna have a date, I
don't know what time we'll be able to come home. Sleep early. Vous me comprenez?"
"Oui." They both answered. I gave them one last smile before approaching Drei.
Pumasok kami sa sasakyan. Silence embraced us while he was driving. Madali kaming
nakarating sa restaurant. Pero nagulat ako ng pagpasok namin ay walang ibang
customers.
A waiter ushered us to our table and it was elegantly made. Ang ganda ng dekorasyon
ng table. May mga tumutugtog ng violin. The ambiance was perfect.
"Ipinasara mo to?" I asked him though he doesn't need to answer. Obviously pinasara
nya para sa gabing ito. Is this how badly he wants to make it up to me?
Naglagay ng iba't ibang pagkain sa table and I ate heartily. Ang sarap ng pagkain.
Drei on the other hand looks uncomfortable. Panay siya lunok at tingin sakin. Kapag
nagkakasalubong naman kami ng titig ay iiwas siya.
Nagtataka na ako pero hinayaan ko na siya. Sumimsim ako ng wine at ipinagpatuloy
ang pagkain. Ng matapos kami sa meal na yon ay nilinis ng isang waiter ang table
namin.
"The last meal for today." Nakangiting sabi ng waiter pagkalagay nya ng isang
nakatakip na putahe sa ibabaw ng mesa. I looked at Drei and he was already
sweating. Hindi na ako nakatiis. "Drei, I don't think you're okay. Umuwi na kaya
tayo?"
"No!" Mabilis nyang agap. He shook his head and wiped his sweat. "O-okay lang ako.
Don't worry about me." Sambit nya. Tumango nalang ako.
He reached for the cover of the meal and lifted it. Tinignan ko kung ano ang
putahe ngunit nanlaki ang mata ko. My heart rammed wildly. Sinalubong ko ang tingin
ni Drei. Kinuha nya ang singsing at tumayo sa mesa. He knelt in front of me.
"Will you marry me?" Ang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko. I wanna pull him up and tell
him to stop. Marry him? Oo? Hindi? Ayoko? Ewan? Hindi ko alam kung ano ang isasagot
ko.
Ang alam ko lang ay naguguluhan ako. Siguro kung nasa France kami ngayon ay walang
pag-aatubiling umoo na ako. But now? I don't feel like it's right.
Dahil ba kay Aaron? Wag mong sabihing bumabalik na ang feelings mo sa kanya
Cassidy! He hurt you before and he might hurt you again. Sigaw ng isang parte ng
utak ko. Napapikit ako ng mariin ng makita ko ang itsura ni Drei ngayon.
Tinakasan na ng kulay ang mukha nya. Sobrang ninenerbyos siya. He was on bended
knees with a ring in his hand. Ito yung pinapangarap kong gawin sakin eh, surprise
proposal. Hindi tulad nung dati na inilagay lang sa kamay ko ang singsing.
But looking at Drei doing it now, it felt so foreign. "Drei.." Mahinang tawag ko sa
kanya. Hindi parin siya tumatayo.
"Please marry me Cassidy." Halos bulong nya ng saad, bakas sa mata nya ang lungkot.
Kung bakit? Hindi ko alam. Dahil ba ang tagal kong sumagot?
This feels wrong. Pero ano ba yung tama? Hindi ko rin alam. Drei was there for me
during my bad days. He was there for me when I needed a friend, when I needed
someone I can count on. He never left. He was patient with me. He loved my kids as
if they were his own.
And in return, all he wanted was my hand in marriage. Kaya ko ba siyang biguin?
Kaya ko bang makitang nasasaktan siya? Kaya ko ba? And the answer was no. Hindi ko
maatim na saktan yung taong ang ginawa lang ay mahalin ako.
I just can't.
Pero pano si Aaron? Anong pano si Aaron ang sinasabi mo? Matagal na kayong tapos!
Tandaan mo, kaya ka lang bumalik ay para makilala siya ng mga anak mo. Hindi para
ituloy ang relasyon nyo! Don't be stupid Cassidy. Mahal mo si Drei hindi si Aaron.
Shit. Mahal ko si Drei. Sigurado ako don. Pero hindi ko rin kayang itanggi na
nalilito ako kapag nandyan na si Aaron.
Drei was looking at the floor now. Nawawalan na ng pag-asa dahil sa tagal ng sagot
ko. I took a deep breath. This is it. Once I say it, there's no taking it back.
Ang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko. Sa kaba, sa gulat at dahil sa pagkalito. C'mon
Cassidy. Say it and end Drei's agony.
"Oui."

Mahina kong saad. Nagtaas siya ng tingin at hindi makapaniwalang nanlaki ang mata
nya. Para bang hindi siya naniniwalang umoo ako.
"A-ano?" Tanong nya.
"Yes. I will marry you." Ulit ko. Bumakas sa mukha nya ang saya. Isinoot nya sakin
ang singsing at siniil ako ng halik. He let go quickly.
"God! I can't believe it!" Sigaw nya. Tipid na ngumiti ako.
We heard a loud crash. Parang may nabasag. Lumingon ako sa pinanggalingan ng nakita
kong nabasag yung dalang wine nung waiter dahil may bumunggo sa kanyang isang bulto
na ngayon ay palabas na ng restaurant.
Kahit nakatalikod ay kilalang kilala ko kung sino yun. Mahigpit akong niyakap ni
Drei na tila wala siyang pakialam pero nanatili akong nakatingin sa pintuang
nilabasan ng bulto.
Aaron.

51
"Hey. Okay ka lang?" Pukaw ni Drei sa atensyon ko. I blinked several times before
giving him a smile. "Yes."

Inakbayan nya ako at humilig ako sa balikat nya. "I miss Paris so bad, don't you?"

"I do too." Namimiss ko ang Paris dahil nung nasa Paris ako ay wala pang gumugulo
sa isip ko. Sigurado pa ako sa nararamdaman ko. Eh dito? Napailing nalang ako.

Nakay Aaron na naman ang kambal. Sinundo nya raw sa bahay kaninang tulog pa ako.
Buti hindi kami nagpang abot. Dahil hindi ko rin alam kung pano ko siya
pakikitunguhan.

Aaron smells of trouble. Hindi ko alam kung gano katagal kami sa Pilipinas. Hindi
naman kami dito magsesettle ni Drei. Kung gusto ni Aaron na makita ang kambal then
he could go to Paris to ocassionally visit them once na bumalik na kami don.

Inilipat ni Drei ang channel ng tv. Magkatabi kaming nanood ng movie, hindi ako
nagsasalita kasi busyng busy ako sa panonood. Si Drei hinawakan at pinaglaruan lang
ang kamay ko. Napapikit ako. Aaron used to do that to me when he thinks I'm upset
about something.

Napalunok ako ng maalala ko ang likod nyang naglalakad palabas ng restaurant nung
gabing nagpropose si Drei. He followed us. He was watching us having a date all
along. Hindi na ako nagtataka kung pano siya nakapasok don kahit pinasara ni Drei
yon. Aaron is a billionaire. Pera ang kumikilos para sa kanya.

The day ended in a blur, kinabukasan gumising ako ng maaga para ako na ang
maggrocery. I needed time alone. Nagmamadali akong naligo at nagbihis. Si Drei
tulog pa, hindi na ako nagpaalam dahil babalik din naman ako kaagad.

I drove calmly and I reached the supermarket in no time. Kinuha ko lang ang wallet
ko at ang car key bago ko sinara ang pinto ng kotse. On the way to the
supermarket's entrance, someone bumped into me.

It was a girl who was carrying her groceries. "Shit, miss. I'm so sorry!" Hinging
paumanhin nya sakin. Nginitian ko siya at yumuko para tulungan siyang magpulot ng
mga tumapong pinamili nya.

"God, Lianne! What happened?!" Nagaalalang tanong ng boses ng isang lalaki sa likod
ko. He knelt and helped us pick the groceries on the floor. Hindi sinasadyang
napatingin ako sa mukha nya at gulat na napalayo ako.

He stared at me too, he was also wide-eyed. His lips quivered at ng makabawi ako ay
binigyan ko siya ng isang ubod ng lakas na sampal. Hindi pa ako nakuntento at
sinampal ko uli siya ng isa pa sa kabilang pisngi.

Nanginginig ako sa galit at siya naman ay tinanggap lang lahat ng sampal ko. Tumili
yung babaeng tinawag nyang Lianne na nakabunggo sakin kanina.

"Bakit mo hinayaang sampalin ka nya Aerold?! Who's she? Kilala mo ba yan?" Gulat at
nagpapanic na tanong ni Lianne.

Nagtagis ang mga bagang ko bago ko dinuro si Aerold. "At may lakas ng loob ka pang
bumalik sa Pilipinas pagkatapos ng ginawa mo?! You asshole!" Sinapak ko ang dibdib
nya habang nangilid na ang luha ko. Lianne tried to stop me but I pushed her and
shouted at her.

Si Aerold nakayuko habang inaabsorb ang mga sapak ko sa dibdib nya. "Pagkatapos
mong manira ng relasyon heto ka at mukhang okay na okay! How could you stomach
being happy when you know that you did something wrong? Ganyan ka ba talaga
kawalang kunsensya ha?!"

Nagtaas siya ng tingin at nakita ko ang lungkot at pagsisisi sa mukha nya. "I'm
sorry Cassidy."

Si Lianne nakatingin lang samin sa isang tabi at hinayaan kaming magusap.

"Sorry?! Maibabalik ba ng sorry mo yung relasyon naming nasira? Maibabalik ba ng

sorry mo yung panahon na nasayang? Mababago ba ng sorry mo yung sitwasyon?" Puno ng
pait kong tanong.

Dahil sa pagkikita namin ngayon ay parang nabuhay yung sakit sa puso ko. Yung mga
alaala ng dati na pilit kong binabaon ay parang hinuhukay ang sarili nila para
makawala. Ngayon damang dama ko yung sakit na para bang bago lang ito.

"Cassidy, I know you won't forgive me. Pero sana malaman mo na nagsisisi ako sa
ginawa kong pagsira sa inyo ni Aaron. Sobra kitang minahal at nabulag ako ng
pagmamahal na yon. I was so selfish that time."

"Sobra mo kong minahal? Anong klaseng pagmamahal yun Aerold? Pagmamahal na kayang
sumira ng pagmamahal ng iba?" Napayuko siyang muli. Napatingin ako sa malayo habang
pinupunasan ang luhang naglandas sa mga pisngi ko.

They've done it. Aaron and Aerold did it. Nagtagumpay silang buksan yung sugat ng
nakaraan na dating naghilom na. Now, it feels like a new wound. I can feel the pain
as if it was fresh.

"I loved you. And I was wrong. What I did was wrong. Nasaktan kasi yung ego ko
dahil hindi mo ko kayang mahalin eh, kaya naisip ko na kung hindi ako magiging
masaya dapat kayo rin. I was bitter and angry and hurt. Pero believe me, I
regretted it so much."

Napakuyom ako ng kamao ko. Here I was talking to someone who ruined my past
relationship with my ex when I was already getting married.

Napadako yung tingin ni Aerold sa kamay ko. Nag-iba yung ekspresyon nya ng makita
ang engagement ring. "Ikakasal na kayo ni Aaron? C-congratulations. Sorry uli sa
lahat ng nagawa ko." Mahinang sambit nya na para bang nilalamon siya ng hiya dahil
sa nagawa nya.
Mapait akong napangiti bago tinignan rin ang engagement ring na bigay ni Drei.
"Hindi. Hindi kay Aaron ako ikakasal."

"Oh." Mahinang sambit nya. Namayani ang mahabang katahimikan bago siya nagsalita
uli. "I met Aaron again. Four years ago at Central Park. He punched the lights out
of me. Hindi ako lumaban kasi I deserved it. I deserved every punch and I welcomed
it all."

"Nakita ko yung galit sa mga mata nya habang sinasapak nya ako. And do you know
what else I saw? I saw pain in his eyes. The pain was so great that I had to resist
the urge to avert my gaze. At dun ko narealize kung bakit mas dapat siya para
sayo."

Nanuyo yung lalamunan ko habang nakikinig sa kanya, I couldn't find the proper
words to say so I just listened.

"Hindi ako yung dapat para sayo kasi kitang kita ko sa mata nya kung gano kasakit
sa kanya yung ginawa ko. Kitang kita yung naipong galit. His eyes were intense.
Those eyes conveyed intense emotions. At dun ko naintindihan na nasasaktan ka lang
ng sobra pag sobrang mahal mo din yung tao. And the amount of pain I saw on his
eyes were immeasurable."

Natawa siya ng pagak bago tinignan ako sa mata. "And my love for you was nothing
like that. Hindi ganon kaintense. Hindi ganon kagrabe. No love can compare to the
love he has for you."

Nanghina ang tuhod ko. Feeling ko babagsak ako anytime. Napakalakas ng tibok ng
puso ko na para bang sasabog na ito.

"I didn't deserve you then, Cassidy. He does. You deserved each other then, and you
deserve each other now because looking at the pain in your eyes right now? I can
see just how immeasurable your love for him is, too."

"Cassidy tulala ka na naman. Kanina ka pa balisa simula nung nanggrocery ka." Puna
ni Drei habang kumakain kami ng tanghalian.

I snapped out of my reverie and tried to act normal. He looked at me in confusion.

"I-i'm fine. No need to worry. Iniisip ko lang kung may nakalimutan ba akong bilhin
kanina." Pagpapalusot ko. Tumango lang siya at nagsimula ng kumain.

"Mommy I think something's wrong with Daddy." Sabi ni Xiana. Nagtatakang binalingan
ko siya ng tingin.

"Why is that, baby?" She munched her bacon before answering. "He's acting weird
yesterday. He plays with us but he seems to have a world of his own. He always
looks outside the window, and his stares are distant." Mahabang pahayag nya.

"He is silent too. He doesn't talk much." Dagdag ni Xander. Napalunok ako. Aaron
why are you doing this to me? Napabuntong hininga ako bago naghanap ng tamang sagot
sa sinabi nila. Ngunit wala akong masabi.

Xiana looked at me and spoke again. "Maybe Daddy is sad because his friend is sad."

Nagkunot noo ako. His friend is sad? Sinong friend? Si Denver? Si Nax? Why would he
be sad?
"What happened to his friend?" I asked while uncomfortably slicing the meat in my
plate.

"Daddy said his friend is inlove with a girl. And his friend found out that the
girl is getting married. Daddy's friend is sad so maybe that's why Daddy is sad."

Nahigit ko ang hininga ko. Pagtingin ko kay Drei ay nakita kong nagtatagis ang mga
bagang nya. I looked away. Before I could even speak, the sound of the doorbell
resonated.

"Ako na." I volunteered to check because I was anxious to look at Drei. I know that
he knows that I know Aaron's talking about me.

Nagmamadali akong pumunta sa gate at binuksan ito. There was a black van parked in
front. My eyebrows furrowed. Wala naman kaming bisita ah, who could this be?

Lumapit ako sa van upang katukin ang kung sino mang nasa loob when the door
suddenly slid open and two men wearing all black outfits appeared in my vision.

I clutched my chest in horror, I was about to run back inside when they clutched my
arm and put a hankerchief on my nose. I was so scared that my heart was wildly
thumping.

I thrashed but they have a tight grip. Tears were incessantly falling in my eyes
right now. I could smell something in the hankerchief and it's making me dizzy.

They put me inside the van and we sped away from the house. My head is lolling from
extreme dizziness and I'm slowly drifting away from consciousness.

Lord, help me. Please.

52
-
I shifted uncomfortably. Unti unti akong nagdilat ng mata, I was hoping that
everything was a dream but it wasn't. Nahihintakutang isisiksik ko sana ang sarili
ko sa gilid ng sasakyan ng makitang may dalawang lalaking naka all-black sa
magkabilang gilid ko.
Merong nakasuot sa ulo nila kaya mata lang ang kita ko. May isa pang lalaking ganon
din ang ayos na nagddrive naman nitong van.
There was no escape. I was held captive. Nanginginig parin ako sa takot. "S-san nyo
ako dadalhin?" Naiiyak na tanong ko. Hindi na ako mayaman kaya kung hihingi sila ng
ransom money ay walang maibibigay.
They didn't answer. Narealize kong hindi nila ako itinali o kung ano man. Wala
ngang piring at busal eh. But that didn't calm me. Nanginginig parin ako. What if
they rape me? Or kill me? Tatlo sila at isa lang ako, pano ako tatakas?
Naglandas na naman ang panibagong batch ng luha sa mata ko. Nakita kong nagdidilim
na. San nila ako dadalhin? Ilang oras akong walang malay? Tumawag na kaya ng pulis
si Drei?
"P-parang awa nyo na po. Hindi ako mayaman. Pakawalan niyo na ako. Hindi a-ako
magsusumbong sa pulis." Takot na takot kong pagmamakaawa pero nanatili silang bingi
sa sinasabi ko. My whole body trembled.
"P-please mga Manong. May anak po ako. Dalawa. Mag-aalala sila sakin. Please let me
go, siguro naman may pamilya kayo.." Lumingon yung lalaking nasa driver's seat at
tumango sa lalaking nasa kanan ko.
May kinuha ang lalaki sa backseat at inabot ito sakin. My tears stopped from
falling at gulat akong napatingin sa nilapag na Mcburger sa harap ko. The guy
shoved it in my hands as if coaxing me to eat.
Hindi ko ito tinanggap. Mahirap na. Wala akong tiwala! Baka kung ano ang nilagay
nila diyan, malamang lason!
But if they wanted you dead, wouldn't they have done it already? Kanina ka pa
natutulog at hindi ka nila ginalaw. Sabi ng isang parte ng utak ko. Pinilig ko ang
ulo ko.
Hindi ko pinansin ang pagkain. Tahimik lang akong umiiyak, ngunit lumipas ang ilan
pang mga oras ay hindi parin tumitigil ang van. Namimilipit na sa sakit ang tyan
ko. Ayoko mang kainin ang pagkaing galing sa kanila ay wala akong choice.
Nanginginig na pinulot ko ang malamig ng burger at kumagat dito. Basta lang
malamnan ang sikmura kong kanina pa kumakalam. Pagkatapos kong kumain ay tinignan
ko ang mga kidnappers ko.
Ng makita ng nasa tabi ko na tapos na akong kumain ay sumandal siya sa headrest at
pumikit. Wala sakin ang atensyon nila. Ang isa pang lalaking katabi ko ay
nakatingin sa labas.
I looked at the car door. I have to escape. Kailangan kong makalayo sa kanila.
Kailangan ko lang bilisan ang mga kilos ko. I wasn't a hundred percent sure my
escape plan would work, but I'm desperate right now.
I have two kids and I can't die yet. Being hopeless is not an option right now.
Tinignan ko uli ang mga kidnappers, they weren't paying attention. It's now or
never!
I leaned forward and opened the car door on the right. Nabigla ang kidnapper sa
kanan ko kaya hindi siya agad nakareact. Nabuksan ko ang pinto ng kotse at
nagmamadaling tumalon palabas. I was about to run when an arm wrapped around my
waist. Sinugod ng kaba ang puso ko.
Nagpupumiglas ako pero ang lakas niya. I looked around at nakita kong madilim at
lubak na kalye ito. Puro puno at walang gaanong tao. Pero sumigaw ako. "Tulong!
Tulungan niyo ako! Anyone help me please-ooomphhh."
Naramdaman ko ang paglagay ng panyo sa bibig ko. Ang mismong panyo na malamang ay
ginamit nila sakin kanina kaya nawalan ako ng malay. Nasinghot ko na naman ito at
nahihilo na naman ako. Alam kong mayamaya ay mawawalan na naman ako ng malay.
Tumulo na naman ang mga luha ko, tahimik akong napahikbi. Itinigil ko na ang
pagpiglas, hindi rin naman ako makakatakas sa matipuno nyang bisig eh. Tumulo ang
luha ko sa kamay nya.
My kidnapper stiffened. Nagtaas baba ang dibdib ko sa pagiyak. Hilong hilo na ako.
Tinanggal nito bigla ang panyo sa may ilong ko. Ipinihit nya ako paharap at
tumingin sa mga mata ko.
Nanlaki ang mata ko ng makita ang pamilyar nyang mata. Napamura siya ng paulit
ulit. Gigil na tinanggal nya ang takip nya sa mukha at hirap na hirap na tumingin
sakin. Napaawang ang labi ko at lalong bumuhos ang luha sa mga mata ko.
My head lolled again, any second now ay papanawan na ako ng ulirat. Hinala nya ako
at niyakap ako ng mahigpit. "God, Cassidy. I'm so sorry for scaring you."
And I passed out.
Pagmulat ko ng mata ay una akong inatake ng gulat, pagkatapos ay ng galit. Nakahiga
na ako ngayon sa kama at pinilit kong tumayo. Mataas na ang sinag ng araw.
Inilibot ko ang mata ko at halos maluha ako ng makilala ko ang kwartong ito. He
brought me here on purpose. Of all places, dito nya ako dinala! Nabuhay ang galit
sa dibdib ko.
Napadako ang tingin ko sa labas ng bintana at nakita ko ang matataas na puno ng
pili sa labas. Presko ang simoy ng hangin at maaliwalas ang buong lugar. Natanaw ko
ang bahay nila Aling Pacing sa gilid. Yes. I'm in Bicol.
Narinig ko ang pagpihit ng door knob ng pinto ng kwarto ko. Aaron came into view.
He was wearing a tight expression pero napalitan ito ng pilit na ngiti ng makitang
gising na ako.
I gritted my teeth and slapped him. Nanginginig na dinuro ko siya. "Putang ina mo
Aaron! Sumusobra ka na! Sobrang sobra na!" Pulang pula na siguro ako sa galit.
He's gone way overboard. Halos mamatay ako sa takot kagabi! Nababaliw na talaga
siya! Yumuko siya at hinayaan akong paulit ulit siyang pukpukin sa dibdib.
"Hayup ka! You could've killed me by doing that! Wala kang puso! Hindi ka nagiisip!
Bakit mo ako dinala dito ha?! Bakit?!"
Hindi parin siya sumasagot so sinapak ko uli ang dibdib nya. He caught my hand and
pulled me towards him. He trapped me in his arms. The moment his arms enveloped me,
my anger subsided.
Pero pinaalalahanan ko ang sarili ko na pinakidnap ako ng lalaking ito! Na hindi
dapat manlambot ang puso ko sa kanya dahil mali yung ginawa nya. So I pushed him
away, but he tightened his hug. I thrashed and scratched him. "Ano ba! Let go! Let
me go Aaron! Bitiwan mo ko!"
Hinigpitan nyang muli ang yakap nya at ibinaon ang ulo nya sa leeg ko. I felt his
ragged breathing. "No. That's one thing I will never do. Letting you go."
Nanghina ang mga tuhod ko at tumigil ako sa panlalaban. God knows how much I wanna
wrap my arms around him but there's something holding me back.
Because the truth is, I don't want him to let go of me too. Pero ang selfish ng
kahilingan ko. Dahil meron na akong Drei. Dahil masasaktan si Drei. Dahil mali.
Mariin akong napapikit. Mali. Feeling this way towards him is wrong and I know it.
But could you stop yourself from feeling something you do not like? Do you have
control over your emotions? No. It was involuntary.
"Take me back to Manila, Aaron. Please." Pagsusumamo ko. Pero hindi siya sumagot.
Nanatili lang na nakasubsob ang ulo nya sa leeg ko.
"Naalala mo dati? You said Bicol was our safe haven. Andito na tayo uli oh. Sorry I
had to kidnap you. Sorry I was such an asshole back then. Sorry because I hurt you
so bad. Kung hindi sana kita pinagdudahan, kung nagtiwala sana ako sayo. M-masaya
sana tayo ngayon."
Pumiyok yung boses nya. Parang may naramdaman akong kurot sa puso ko. Sana hindi
tayo kumplikado ngayon. If only you believed Aaron, if only you trusted me.
"Ibalik mo na ako sa Manila. Nag aalala ang kambal, si Manang. At si.." Hindi ko na
naituloy ang sasabihin ko, bumitiw siya sa yakap nya at agad na napapikit ng
mariin.
"Si Drei." Pagtuloy niya sa pangungusap ko. Nakita kong nabahiran ng sakit ang mga
mata nya. I wanted to cling to him but as I said, it was wrong.
Nahahalata ko na sa itsura ng mukha nya na wala siyang balak ibalik ako agad. He
wants to keep me here in Bicol with him. He wants to hide me here, keep me prisoner
of his selfishness. "Kailan mo ko planong ibalik?" Mapait kong tanong.
Ngumiti siya ng malungkot. "It's up to you. Nakadepende sayo ang sagot sa tanong na
yan."
Inis na napatingin ako sa kanya sa pagbibigay nya ng hindi klarong sagot sa akin.
"What do you mean?!"
"Ibabalik lang kita kapag binalikan mo na ako Cassidy. Hindi tayo babalik ng
Maynila hangga't hindi pa tayo nagkakaayos." Kaswal nyang sagot bago ako matamang
tinignan. Nanlaki ang mata ko at matalim siyang tinignan.
"Nababaliw ka na nga talaga no?! Hindi ako makikipagbalikan sayo Aaron! You are so
desperate!" Naiinis na sigaw ko. I can't believe this guy. Hindi ako makapaniwalang
aabot sa puntong ganito.
"Desperate?! Edi desperado na ako kung desperado! Call me whatever th hell you
prefer but I already told you! I won't take you back! Not unless we've settled our
fucked-up relationship!" Sumabog na siya. Naningkit ang mata nya habang nakatitig
saking tinitignan siyang may bahid ng inis.
"Relationship? We have no relationship to settle, Aaron! I am marrying Drei and
that's final! If you think bringing me here in Bicol will change my decision then
think again!" I shouted those at his face. But the moment I saw his expression, I
swear I wanted to take it all back.
Gusto kong manliit at magtago at magsorry. But I forced myself not to. I keep on
convincing myself that I did the right thing but it feels wrong and I felt hollow.
Nakita ko kung pano bumalatay ang sakit sa mga mata nya. Then it changed into
something I recognized. The pain was immediately replaced by anger.
Nanlilisik niya akong tinignan. Gumagalaw yung muscles nya sa bibig at halatang
nagpipigil siya ng galit. Ng sa wakas ay medyo humupa na ang galit na nakabalandra
sa mukha nya ay binigyan nya ako ng isang malamig na tingin.
"There won't be any wedding if I won't be your groom." Madiin nyang sabi bago
binalya pasara ang pinto ng kwarto ko paglabas nya.
53

"Eat, Cassidy." Marahang sabi ni Aaron habang tinutulak papunta sakin ang tray na
may lamang kanin at ulam. Umusog ako sa dulo ng kama at hindi man lang ito
tinignan. Bumuntong hininga siya at tinabihan ako.

"I'm really sorry. I'm sorry I scared you but I'm not sorry I kidnapped you. Lahat
gagawin ko mailayo ka lang sa Drei na yun." Madamdaming saad nya. Matalim ko siyang
tinignan ngunit iniwas ko din agad ang mga mata ko.

"Stop this, Aaron." Bigkas ko. Nakatingin ako sa pader at siya rin ay ganon. "I
tried to stop but you make it so damn difficult. You make it so damn difficult for
me to let you go."

Lumakas ang tibok ng puso ko sa sinabi nya. Isinubsob ko ang ulo ko sa dalawang
tuhod ko na ngayon ay yakap ko. Naramdaman kong hinahaplos ni Aaron ang buhok ko.
"Sakin ka nalang uli." Gumaralgal ang boses nya.

Lumubog ang puso ko sa kinalalagyan nito ng makita ko ang lungkot sa mga mata nya.
And I realized that Aerold was right. His pain was really immeasurable. Nanikip ang
dibdib ko sa isiping yon.

"I'm so crazy over you. You'll be the end of me Cassidy." Bulong nya bago yumuko at
kinintalan ako ng halik sa labi. Napapikit ako. I wanted to push him away but at
the same time, I want to pull him closer.

Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong tumugon but just like before, I was drowned in his
hypnotizing kiss. Ramdam ko ang paggalaw ng malambot nyang labi sa labi ko. I
wrapped my arms around his neck and savored the moment.

Alam kong mali itong pagkakataong to. Mali tong ginagawa namin. But why does the
wrong thing feel so right? Why do I find the feeling of his lips on mine so
appealing? I don't know. All I know is I like how it feels to be kissed by this
billionaire.

He ended the kiss and looked at my eyes. He was searching for something. Then he
groaned. "Damn."

Pinagdikit niya ang mga noo namin. "Your kiss still has the same effect on me. You
were gone for five fucking years and I am still smitten by you." Bulong nya.

Nagiwas ako ng tingin at tumayo para makalayo sa kanya. Hindi ko nagugustuhan ang
pagbilis ng tahip ng dibdib ko. I felt this before and I don't need to think hard
to know what this means.

"Mahal na mahal kita." Sabi nya ng hinila nya ang kamay ko. I blinked hard. Ayoko
na. I can't risk following this stupid heart again.

Pinigilan ko na yung sarili kong yakapin siya ng mahigpit at muli siyang halikan.
Tama na Cassidy. It's not healthy anymore.

Nagpakawala ako ng buntong hininga bago ako nagsalita. "H-hindi kita mahal."

Ng sinabi ko ang mga katagang yon ay naramdaman ko ang di pagsang ayon ng damdamin
ko. Bumagsak ang mga balikat ni Aaron kasabay ng pagbitaw nya sa kamay ko. Walang
sabi sabing lumabas siya ng kwarto.
I wanted to follow him but there was something holding me back. Hinayaan ko nalang.
Hanggang sa narinig ko na ang pagbagsak ng front door. Lumabas siya ng bahay. I
checked theclock and saw that it was 7:30 pm. Uuwi naman siguro yun agad.

Pero alas dose na ng hatinggabi ay wala parin siya. Kanina pa ako kinakabahan pero
kinukumbinsi ko ang sarili ko na walang masamang nangyari sa kanya. Dalawang oras
na akong naghihintay dito sa tapat ng bahay pero walang Aaron na nagpakita.

Sa huli ay hindi na ako nakatiis. I need to look for him. Baka napano na yun.
Sinugod ng matinding kaba ang dibdib ko pero pinilit kong alisin ang pag aalala.
But it was still there. Napabuntunghininga ako habang naglalakad.

Nadaanan ko ang bahay nila Aling Pacing. Patay na ang mga ilaw. Tulog na ang mga
yon dahil anong oras na. Ng makalagpas ako sa may basketball court ay may narinig
akong ingay ng mga lalaki.

Nakita ko ang isang grupo ng mga lalaki na nagiinuman. Natanaw ko si Kuya Toto na
may hawak pang beer sa kamay. Binuksan niya ito at inabot sa katabi nya. Nanlaki
ang mata ko ng makita kong inabot ni Aaron ang beer at tinungga.

Nagmamadaling lumapit ako sa kanila. Aaron's face was already red. Yung mga mata
nya malamlam na. Lasing na naman ang isang ito. Naku!

"Aaron. Umuwi na tayo." Mahinahon kong sabi ngunit hindi nya ako pinansin. Tinungga
niya uli yung beer. Naiinis na inagaw ko ito sa kanya at inilapag sa lamesa. "Damn
it Aaron! I said let's go home. Look at you! You're so drunk!"

"Hay nako Cassidy. Hayaan mo muna yan. *hik* broken hearted daw siya eh."
Natatawang pahayag ni Kuya Toto. Napailing ako at hinarap muli si Aaron. "Iuuwi na
kita." Isinampay ko ang braso niya sa balikat ko pilit siyang itinayo.

He cocked his head sideways. "A-akala ko ba hindi mo ko mahal? B-bat nandito ka?
Hayaan mo nalang ako dito!" Makulit na sabi niya.

"Shut up. Lasing ka na talaga. Kanina pa ako naghihintay sa bahay, nag-alala ako.
Yun pala nakikipag inuman ka na kila Kuya Toto." Pangungunsensya ko. Nginisian ako
ni Kuya Toto at nagthumbs up.

"Sige na nga Cassidy. Uwi mo na yan ng magkaayos na kayo. Tagal mo nawala ah!"
Nginitian ko siya bago inakay si Aaron pauwi. Ang bigat! Ito nalang ba ang papel ko
sa lalaking ito? Ang taga uwi sa kanya pag lango siya sa alak? I shook my head in a
reprimanding manner.

Binuksan ko ang pintuan at iniupo siya sa sopang kawayan. I closed the door and
wiped my sweaty face with the back of my hand. Naiinis na tinapunan ko siya ng
tingin. Hindi naman maipinta ang mukha nya.

"Bakit mo ba ako sinundo? Bat hindi mo ko hinayaan dun? Ano naman sayo kung
mapahamak ako? Diba wala kang paki sakin? Diba di mo ko m-mahal? Diba may D-drei ka
na?" Nasasaktang sabi nya habang puno ng hinanakit nya akong tinignan.

My heart breaks in half. God, Aaron. Why do you always have to put me in this kind
of situation? Why do you always have to make me feel so confused when you're
around. One word from your beautiful lips and I'm already swept off my feet.

"Ano Cassidy? Totoo naman ang mga sinabi ko diba? You don't give a damn about me.."
Tumayo na siya at unti unting lumapit sakin kaya napaatras ako.

Inilapit niya ang mukha niya sa mukha ko. Napapikit ako ng maramdaman ko ang
hininga niya sa tenga ko. "..or do you?"

Nilagay ko ang dalawang kamay ko sa dibdib niya para hindi na siya makausad palapit
ngunit namula ang mga pisngi ko ng maramdaman ang matipuno niyang katawan.
Napakislot ang dibdib niya kaya mabilis kong tinanggal ang kamay ko.

Nag angat ako ng tingin na halos gusto kong pagsisihan ng magtama ang ilong naming
dalawa. Napasinghap ako at kinuha niya ang oportunidad na yun upang halikan ako.
His tongue plunged inside my mouth.

Shit. I would be a hypocrite right now if I say that I'm not enjoying this. Because
I am, every inch of it was magic. Hindi ko napigilang hapitin siya palapit, narinig
ko ang paghalakhak niya bago mulang sinalakay ang labi ko. I can taste liquor but
who the hell cares?

Isinandal niya ako sa pader. He put my legs on his waist and I shivered in
excitement. Lahat ng inhibisyon ko lumipad na sa labas ng bintana. Hindi ko alam
kung siya lang ba ang lasing o pati narin ako.

One thing is for sure. I don't want this moment to end. If I could capture this
scene in my hands and keep it with me forever then I will. Bumitaw ako sa halik
habang naghahabol ng hininga. Si Aaron din ay naghahabol ng hininga and God knows
he looks so damn sexy right now.

Napangisi siya sakin at pinagdikit ang noo naming dalawa. "I can feel it Cassidy.
Whatever you do, you can't hide the truth from me."

My heartbeat accelerated. I looked at him, baffled. "W-what do you mean?"

He nibbled my lower lip before answering. "You are still in love with me. You're so
damn in love with me but you don't want to admit it. You're holding back." He
sounded so sure that I almost agreed with him.

Habang karga niya ako ay binuksan niya ang kwarto niya at nilapag ako sa kama.

Cassidy! Wake up! Are you seriously gonna let this happen?! Tanong ng matinong side
ng utak ko.

Alam ko kung san patungo itong ginagawa namin. But do I want to stop? The answer
was no.

Anong no?! How about Drei? How about the wedding?

Napapikit ako ng mariin. He's right. I was holding back. But for once, I don't want
to reign myself anymore. I wanna give in. Kaya nung muli akong hinalikan ni Aaron
habang sinasamba ng mga kamay niya ang katawan ko ay napaungol nalang ako. Oh, fuck
everyone! Wala na akong paki! I want this so bad! I have been craving for him!
Ayoko nang lokohin pa ang sarili ko!

So I kissed him back the way he was kissing me. He was shocked at first but he
proceeded. We kissed with so much intensity that the stars above became ashamed. We
kissed with so much ardor that we couldn't hold our moans back. We kissed and
kissed and kissed some more.

It all happened so fast. The next thing I know is that we were both naked and he
was on top of me.

Yung dalawang kamay niya ay kinukulong ako, he stoop down so he could claim my lips
again. Pero habang hinahalikan niya ako ay may naramdaman akong likidong tumulo sa
pisngi ko. I thought it was my imagination but I felt it again.

Nagmulat ako ng mata at nakitang ang mga likidong iyon ay galing sa mata ni Aaron.
He's crying?!

Inihiwalay niya ang labi niya sakin at mataman akong tinignan. Kumirot ang puso ko
ng makita ko ang pagbalatay ng sakit sa mata niya. "Aaron, w-why are you cryi-
ahhhh!" Hindi ko natapos ang itatanong ko ng ipinasok niya ang kanya sa akin.

He was gentle at first but he quickened his pace ng nakakasunod na ako. Naisubsob
niya ang mukha nya sa leeg ko at ako naman ay nakakalmot ko na siya sa likod.
Mabilis na ang paglabas pasok niya ngayon at hinihingal kaming dalawa.

"Ahhh, fuck!" Sigaw niya.

Napaungol ako. Maya maya ay mabagal na ang paglabas pasok niya, mas kalmado at mas
sukat ang mga galaw. He pulled his member from mine and stared at my eyes.

"M-mahal.."

He inserted it again. Napaigik ako sa ginawa niya, ngunit binunot niya itong muli.
I muffled a gasp.

"Na mahal.."

He inserted it again, deeper this time. My body was loving every thrust he was
giving me. It brought waves and waves of pleasure.

"Na mahal.."

Tumulo na ang luha niya sa pisngi ko. He wasn't breaking eye contact with me as he
pulled it out again. My heart was in fragments once more as he cried.

"Shit!" Hingal na mura ko ng ipasok niya uli ito sa loob ko. Nararamdaman kong
malapit ko ng maabot ang ikapitong langit.

"Na mahal kita." He said sincerely as he found his release. I felt hot liquid
oozing inside me. I came a second after and I shut my eyes tightly. Nag-iinit na
din kasi ang mga sulok ng mata ko. Nanghihina siyang dumagan sakin habang hindi
parin hinuhugot sa loob ko ang sandata niya.

Ang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko.

Naramdaman kong tumulo narin ang luha sa mga mata ko. Yung mukha niya nakasubsob sa
leeg ko. Maya maya ay naramdaman kong basang basa na ang leeg ko. Kung kanina ay
papatak patak lang ang luha niya, ngayon ay tuluyan ng bumuhos ang mga ito at hindi
niya pinigilan.

Basang basa na ang balikat ko. Naramdaman ko ang pagtaas baba ng dibdib niya.
Nagtaas siya ng tingin at tinignan ako ng deretso sa mata.

Puno ang mukha niya ng luha. Punong puno rin ito ng lungkot nang magsalita siya sa
garalgal at nagmamakaawang boses.

"Be mine again, Cassidy. Please. Pick me. I beg you."

54
-
Naalimpungatan ako ng maramdaman kong may kumilos sa tabi ko. Dumagan ang kamay ni
Aaron sa tiyan ko at napaungol ako bigla. I can't help it. Binuksan ko ang mga mata
ko at tinignan ang natutulog niyang mukha. He is so perfect. Every inch of him.
Naramdaman kong nagbabadya na naman ang mga luha ko. Aaron was right. He was so
right and I hate it. Hanggang ngayon, siya parin ang laman ng puso ko. Pilit kong
kinukumbinsi yung sarili kong mahal ko si Drei pero ang totoo, deep down, I know
that Aaron still has a tight hold of my stupid heart.
His chest was exposed. Hanggang bewang lang kasi yung kumot niya. Naagaw ng CMH
tattoo niya ang pansin ko. A tear escaped my eye and I wiped it abruptly. Naalala
ko ang nangyari kagabi. He broke down in front of me and he wasn't ashamed to show
me he's hurting.
"Je t'aime beaucoup, mon amour. And it's scaring me." Masuyong bulong ko.
Nagulat ako ng unti unting gumuit ang isang ngiti sa labi ni Aaron. He's awake?
Tumambol ang puso ko. I wanted to kiss those delectable lips. Nagmulat siya ng mata
at nagkatinginan kami. Ng matagal. I didn't utter anything because I ran out of
words
Marahan niyang hinaplos ang pisngi ko. "Don't be scared Cassidy." Mahinang sambit
niya habang hinahaplos ang buhok ko. "A-ano?" Ninenerbyos at gulat kong tanong.
"I said don't be scared." Napalunok ako ng inulit niya. Para akong mabibingi. Para
akong isang batang nahuling kumukupit. I just don't know what to say.
"N-narinig mo ba ang sinabi ko?" Para akong teenager na nahihiya nung tumango siya.
He pasted a genuine smile on his lips. "I caught some words. Denver speaks French,
so kahit papano nakakaintindi ako. Didn't know it would come in handy."
Hinila ko pataas ang kumot na bumabalot sa katawan ko at tumingin sa ceiling. I'm
in Bicol, with the guy I love while my fiance was in Manila, probably worried to
death about me. But here I am, enjoying the morning in my ex's bed.
"For the record, I love you too." Utas niya na nakapagpapikit sakin ng mariin.
"More than you think I do." Nahihirapang humarap ako sa kanya pagkatapos niyang
sabihin ang mga yon. His face was full of sincerity. Nag iwas ako ng tingin. I was
trying to think logically, but he makes it so damn difficult.
"Leave Drei." Puno ng diin niyang anas. Napabuntong hininga ako. He eyed me askance
before knitting his brows. "You just told me you love me Cassidy. Don't tell me
itutuloy mo parin ang pagpapakasal sa lalaking yon kahit may nangyari satin."
Mapait niyang saad.
"Did you plan this?" Mapang akusa kong tanong. Tumigas ang ekspresyon niya. "Ang
may mangyari satin? No, Cassidy. I did not plan this."
Napasapo ako sa ulo ko. "Aaron, it's not that easy. Hindi ganoon kadaling bitawan
si Drei-"
"At ako madali bitawan? Ganon ba yun?" Bakas na ang iritasyon at sakit sa tono
niya.
"Drei loves me." Sambit ko. Napasabunot siya sa buhok niya at naihilamos ang palad
sa mukha. "But I love you! And you love me too!" Frustration was building up on
him.
You have to make a choice now Cassidy. Kung hindi ay mas lalo silang masasaktan.
Narealize ko na kahit ano ang piliin ko meron at meron paring masasaktan. I had to
choose. But who am I to point out who I wanted to get hurt?
"I didn't wait years only to watch another man marry the woman I love." Malungkot
niyang saad bago kinuyom ang palad niya.
"Why are you so afraid of giving me another chance? Why are you so afraid of taking
risks?" Mahina niyang bulong. I wanted to hug him right now but I forced myself not
to.
"But it was my fault. Kasalanan kokung bakit takot ka ng sunugal sakin. Nadala ka
na. Because I hurt you. I hurt you so bad and I'm immensely sorry about it. Kung
pwede lang na kunin ko lahat ng sakit na binigay ko sayo non gagawin ko. Kaya
siguro ang hirap mo ng abutin ngayon no? Kasi ikaw yung karma ko." My heart felt
like it was being ripped open. It was as if someone peppered my torn heart with
salt to aggravate the pain.
Hindi ako sumagot at nanatili lang na tahimik, I was hoping that he would continue
explaining. We needed to clear the air between us. I need his explanation so I
could fully let go of the grudge I've kept for years.
"Naniwala ako kay Aerold agad. It's not that I didn't trust you, it's just that I
was so eaten by anger and jealousy that I wasn't able to think clearly. My
judgement was clouded and I made rash actions. Sobrang sakit nung makita ko yung
picture. Iniisip ko nun kung ano bang kulang sakin. Palagi kong tinatanong sarili
ko. Akala ko ba mahal mo ako? Bakit nagkaron ng ganon?" Pumiyok yung boses niya.
"Aaron-"
He cut me off. "So iniuwi agad kita sa Manila. I was convinced that you cheated.
Kasi alam mo naman ang istorya ni Dad at ni Mom diba? Mom saw proof of my Dad's
infidelity pero hindi niya pinaniwalaan. Sa huli siya yung nasaktan. I was scared
that time. No, terrified was the appropriate word. I was so fucking terrified. Of
getting hurt again, of being cheated on and lied to so I chose to push you away.."
Tumulo muli yung luha sa mga mata niya. Naramdaman ko yung pagbalik ng sakit sakin.
Hearing his side was not easy. It's making me feel a bunch of emotions I don't
quite like.
"I pushed you away but you still chased after me. Kahit anong tulak ko sayo palayo,
kahit anong masasakit na salita ang sabihin ko sayo andyan ka parin. And then I
found out about your pregnancy. I was so happy at first, pero dahil umiral na naman
yung pagkagago ko ay pinagdudahan kita. Inisip ko kung akin ba talaga yung bata o
kay Aerold. I have no excuse for being a dick."
Bumuhos narin ang luha ko at pinilit ko itong punasan gamit ang likod ng palad ko.
"Then there was Melissa. Tama ka. I used her to get even, so that I could get back
at you, to hurt you. I was so heartless and I hated myself for that. I just wanted
to salvage the last thing I have left, and that's my pride. Ayokong isipin mong
pagkatapos ng lahat ay magkakandarapa parin ako sayo. I told you I will marry you
for the baby, but I lied. I lied to you. I wanted to marry you because I fucking
love you and not just because you're carrying a child in your womb. Pero naduwag
akong aminin sayo na mahal parin kita dahil natatakot akong masaktan uli. I'm a
damned coward when it comes to you and I need not deny that."
Halos mahirapan na akong huminga, namumula na yata ang mata ko pero hindi siya
tumigil sa pagsasalita. "The night of the party, nung narinig mo kaming naguusap ni
Nax was actually the night I wanted to patch things up with you. Kahit na sinaktan
kita at nagduda ako.. There is one thing that would always remain constant. And
that's my love for you. I tried to run after you pero wala eh, di kita naabutan. Di
ka umuwi sa bahay niyo. And the next thing I know? I-iniwan mo na ko."
Gumaralgal yung tono niya. Humarap siya sakin at nagkatinginan ang mga mata naming
basa ng luha. Hinaplos niya ang pisngi ko at ginamit ang hinalalaki niya para
punasan ang mga luhang naglandas sa pisngi ko. "Gago ako Cassidy. Pero tandaan mong
mahal na mahal ka ng gagong to."
For five years, I took Aaron's right to see our twins grow. For five years, I hid
from him because I thought that I was the only one hurting. Hindi ko inisip yung
mas malaking implikasyon ng pagalis ko.
I was convinced that he didn't love me. But as I looked at the emotions swirling in
his eyes right now, I wish that I should've stayed. I wish that I should've
listened to his explanation. I wish I never left. Parehas lang kaming nasaktan.
Hinawakan ko yung kamay niya sa pisngi ko at napapikit ako habang patuloy na
humihikbi.
I love this guy. I love this guy so much and I don't want to think about other
people's happiness right now. All my life, I've never been selfish. I was never
self centered. Inuuna ko ang iba bago sa sarili ko, pero ngayon. Gusto kong sundin
muna ang kaligayahan ko, gusto kong bigyan ang sarili ko ng pagkakataon na sumaya.
And I would never be happy without this guy in my life. He is my lifeline, the
oxygen I breathe. Kahit pala anong gawin ko, hindi ko siya maalis sa sistema ko.
Naalala ko yung sabi ni Manang sakin dati, magpadala daw ako sa agos. Bigla akong
napangiti. Ito ba yung agos na sinasabi mo Manang? Aaron must be the flow you want
me to go with.
"Cassidy.." Marahang sabi niya bago ako matamang tinignan. Tuyo na ang mga luha
niya.
Inilapit niya ang mukha niya sa mukha ko bago bumulong. "Prendre un risque avec
moi, mon amour."
(Take a risk with me, my love.)
Sa totoo lang, alam ko kung ano ang tama sa mali kaya alam kong mali ito. Pero
minsan, hindi lahat ng tama ay makakapagpasaya satin. Sa ngayon, wala na sa utak ko
ang kasal namin ni Drei. I will talk to him and ask for his forgiveness when we
come back to Manila.
It's time for me to let go of these doubts, these fears, these grudges. I will
never be truly happy if I will continue pushing the person I love away. I have made
my decision, and I hope it's the right one.
Umisod ako palapit sa kanya and he slightly stiffened. I mumbled in his ear in
french.
Nakangiti at naiiyak kong sabi. I thought he would hug me or suddenly kiss my lips
but his reaction was unexpected. His eyebrows furrowed.
"Is that supposed to be a good thing? Hindi ko kasi alam ang ibig sabihin nun eh."
I can't help but chuckle. Oh, Aaron. Hinila ko siya at hinalikan sa mga labi. It
feels like a million fireworks exploded in my chest all at once.
I ended the kiss so I could tell him the meaning of what I said, and when I
translated he grinned and happiness flashed in and out of his features. Mahigpit
niya akong niyakap at binigyan ako ng isang makapigil hiningang halik.
"I'm yours, too." Masuyo at puno ng pagmamahal niyang bulong.

55
Posted na po ang The Fall of Alexander the Great. Alexander's story. Yun lang.
Thanks!

"Aaron!!!" Tili ko habang pinandidilatan siya. He just grinned and raised his arms
in defeat. Ugh, this guy! Pano ba naman, biglang namalo ng pwet! Nag aayos kaya ako
ng bahay.

It's still the same, by the way. Still the old dilapidated house we lived in for a
month. It's dusty, but otherwise the same. Pati mga furnitures hindi nabago. The
wooden bamboo sofa was still in its place. I wiped the sweat dripping from my face.

Aaron stepped towards me, may hawak siyang bimpo and he used it o wipe the sweat
off my face. Seryoso siya habang nagpupunas kaya tinaas ko ang kamay ko para abutin
ang nakakunot niyang kilay. "What are you doing?" He raised an eyebrow.

Hindi ko inalis ang kamay ko sa kilay niya, I straightened it. "I'm trying to
uncrease your brows. Why are you always wearing a permanent scowl anyway? Manang
mana sayo si Xander eh."

Sumilay ang isang ngiti sa labi niya. "Really?"

"Really." Sagot ko. I can't help but sigh when I thought of the twins. I miss them
a lot and I have no doubt that they miss me too. At si Manang at Drei. They're
probably out of their mind with worry.

"What's wrong?" Tanong ni Aaron bago niya inilapag ang bimpo sa table. Napayuko
ako. "Kelan tayo babalik? Nag aalala na sila dun. Lalo na si Manang."

Napangisi si Aaron. It was my turn to furrow my brows. "Why are you smirking?" He
didn't answer. He just took his iPhone from his pocket and typed in some digits. He
put it on his ear. "Sino bang tinatawagan mo?" I can't help but ask, the curiosity
is killing me.

He set his phone down on the table and put it on loudspeaker. I can hear the sharp
ringing and then someone picked up. "Hello Aaron?"

Napaawang ang labi ko when I heard Manang's voice. "Hi Manang! How's my twins?" He
asked casually.

"Eto namimiss si Cassidy. Ano nagkabalikan na ba kayo uli? Tagumpay ang kidnapping
ah." My eyes bulged. Aaron grinned when he saw my reaction.

"Manang! Kasabwat ka dito?!" Hindi ko na napigilang itanong. Inakbayan ako ni Aaron

at humilig siya sakin. Inikutan ko naman siya ng mata.

I heard Manang's laugh from the other line. "Hindi ako kasabwat, anak."

"Eh bat alam mo ang tungkol sa pagdudukot ni Aaron sakin?"

"Cassidy, hindi kasabwat si Manang. Siya ang mastermind." Sabi ni Aaron na natatawa
parin. Hinampas ko yung hita niya at napa 'Ow' siya pero hindi niya parin tinigilan
ang pagtawa.

"Oh guilty ako, anak! Kasi naman nakita ko namang apektado ka parin kay Aaron. Wala
naman akong pinapanigan sa kanilang dalawa ni Drei, nagkataon lang na nakita kong
si Aaron parin. At gusto kong maging masaya ka."

Napangiti nalang ako. "Thank you Manang." That was all I could say.

"Nga pala, sabi ko kay Drei nagbakasyon ka sa probinsya. Sabi ko gusto mo munang
makapag isip isip. Ang galing kasi ni Aaron at ng mga kaibigan niya kumidnap eh,
walang bakas." So si Denver at Nax pala yung dalawa pang nakaitim? Nandamay pa
talaga to si Aaron sa kalokohan niya.

"Kamusta po si Drei?" Tinaasan ako ni Aaron ng kilay pero hindi siya nagsalita.

"Ayun, nagmumukmok. Sana daw umuwi ka na agad."

"You should talk to that guy once we get home. Ayokong umasa pa siya sayo. Better
be straight forward with him than prolong his agony." Aaron suggested in a stern
voice and all I could do was nod in agreement.

Last night, Aaron took the engagement ring out of my finger. He put it atop the
bedside table and we left it there. He told me that he doesn't want to see me
wearing an engagement ring if it wasn't from him.

"Drei is a good man. I think he will understand." I said after a while of silence,
Aaron snorted and turned his attention back to the phone on the table. He smirked
as if thinking of something naughty.

"Manang, dahil matagal akong pinaghintay nitong alaga mo. Sisiguraduhin kong
magkakaron ng kapatid ang kambal." He grinned and I slapped his arm while shooting
him a death stare.

"Hay nako, Aaron. Napakapilyo mo talaga. Oh siya, magenjoy kayo diyan sa Bicol.
Ibaba ko na dahil baka mahuli pa ako ni Drei."

"Bye Manang, love you!" I smiled, she replied with a 'love you too, anak' before
cutting the line. Aaron played with my hair. He was unusually silent so I nudged
him. "Anong iniisip mo?"

"Pangalan ng susunod na anak natin kapag babae." Sinapak ko nga. Natatawang

hinalikan niya ako. "Ang brutal mo naman! Pasalamat ka talaga mahal kita."
I stuck my tongue out. He chuckled as if he found the gesture cute. He stood up
from the bamboo sofa and I did too. "Puntahan natin si Aling Pacing." He suggested,
tumango lang ako.

We exited the house with our hands locked. Namataan ko si Didi, yung kapitbahay
naming madaldal. Kumaway siya at naeexcite na lumapit sakin. "Cassidy! Naku lalo
kang gumanda! Tagal mong nawala ah, akala nga namin nila Aling Pacing hindi ka na
babalik."

Teka lang ha? Kagabi pa ganyan ang reaksyon nila pag nakikita kami ni Aaron. Pati
si Kuya Toto medyo nagulat na makita ako dito uli pero kay Aaron hindi. Eh parehas
naman kaming nawala ah.

"Pwede ba yun? Namiss ko Bicol." Ngunitian ko siya, may sasabihin pa sana siya kaya
lang tinawag na siya ni Elmer, yung asawa niya. I gave her a final wave before she
turned her back to walk back in their house. Nilagay ni Aaron ang kamay niya sa
bewang ko.

"Possessive." I bantered but he just frowned. "Baka may magkagusto sayong iba.
Mahirap na. Dapat alam nilang may nagmamay ari na sayo."

I can't help but laugh. "Seriously? At sino namang magkakagusto sakin dito aber?
Ang mga puno ng pili?"

"Malay mo. I can never be sure of your beauty, baka nga pati inanimate objects may
gusto sayo eh." Natatawang napailing nalang ako. "Baliw." I muttered.

"Sayo." Napangiti nalang ako. Hindi na ako nagsalita dahil nasa tapat na kami ng
porch nila Aling Pacing. Kumatok siya sa pinto and Aling Pacing opened the door for
us. Nanlaki ang mata niya ng makita niya ako. Napalabas siya ng bahay at inadjust
niya ang salamin sa mata niya.

"Cassidy, iha? Ikaw ba talaga yan?" Nakangiting tumango ako. Niyakap niya ako agad
at sumigaw. "Carding! Carding lumabas ka dyan at nandito si Cassidy dali!"

Nakahalukipkip lang si Aaron habang nakangiting pinanonood kami. Nagmamadaling

lumabas si Mang Carding at gulat na napatingin sakin. "Aba'y andito ka nga? Kamusta
iha?"

"Okay lang naman po. Namiss ko po kayo."

"Namiss ka rin namin! At dahil diyan ay magtatanghalian tayo ng alimango at bangus.

Tara sa ilog iho!" Nakangiti nitong sabi bago binalingan si Aaron. "Kunin ko na ho
ang panghuli sa likod para makaalis na po tayo agad." Sagot ni Aaron bago pumunta
sa likod bahay nila Aling Pacing. What was that?! Si Aaron hindi umalma na
mangisda?

Maya maya ay nakita ko uli siyang bitbit na ang panghuli at isang timba. Umupo kami
ni Aling Pacing sa mahabang kahoy na bangkuan sa labas ng bahay nila. Aaron set the
fishing equipments down and walked towards me. "I'll be back before you know it. I
love you." Hinalikan niya ako sa noo bago pumunta si kinaroroonan ni Mang Carding.
Pinulot nila ang mga gamit at naglakad na palayo.

"Mag ingat ka Aaron!" Pahabol kong sigaw. He turned and winked at me. "Oo naman,
gwapo ako eh!" Nagtaas naman ako ng kilay. Anong koneksyon non? Napailing nalang
ako habang nakatingin sa papalayo nilang likod.

"Mabuti naman at bumalik ka na. Palagi kong tinatanong si Aaron kapag nandito siya
kung bumalik ka na pero hindi ang lagi niyang sagot."

"P-pumupunta po sya dito?" Nagulqt kong tanong. Tumango tango si Aling Pacing. "Oo.
Isang beses sa isang bwan. Isang linggo siya dito tapos babalik na uli siya sa
trabaho niya."

Nanlaki ang mata ko. "A-alam nyo na po?" Malungkot na napatango siya. "Oo, iha.
Alam ko na lahat. Pasensya ka na sa nagawa ni Aerold ha? Hindi ko akalaing magagawa
niya yun. Hindi naman namin siya pinalaking ganon."

Nanuyot ang lalamunan ko. "O-okay na po yun. Si Aaron po ba ang nagsabi niyan sa
inyo?"

She shook her head and looked at her gnarled
niyo sa buhay at yung paghihiwalay niyo, oo.
naghiwalay ay last year ko lang nalaman. Kay
inamin niya ang nagawa niya. Nagalit kami sa
akalaing magagawa niya yun."
hands. "Yung tungkol sa totoong estado
Pero yung dahilan kung bakit kayo
Aerold. Dumalaw siya dito nun at
kanya, syempre. Dahil hindi namin

"Kalimutan nalang po natin yun. Ang mahalaga, maayos na po kami ni Aaron ngayon."
Napangiti ako ng marinig ko muli sa ulo ko ang pag iilove you niya sakin in french.

"Masaya ako na ayos na kayo, mabubuo na ang pamilya nyo lalo pa't may supling kayo.
Nako Cassidy, simula nung umalis ka pababalik balik yan dito sa Bicol. Binili niya
na nga yung bahay na pinaparentahan ko eh. Ang laki ng halagang binigay,
tinanggihan namin ni Carding pero mapilit."

"Hindi ko nga maintindihan diyan kay Aaron nung una kung bakit ayaw niyang ipagawa.
Luma na ang bahay at may pera naman siya. Tinanong ko siya tatlong taon na ang
nakakalipas, ang sagot niya sakin ay dahil daw marami kayong alaala diyan."

Napangiti ako. Aaron really does love me. Madalas pala siyang nandito sa Bicol. Our
safe haven.

"Ano naman pong ginagawa niya sa isang linggong pamamalagi niya dito kada bwan?"
Nacurious ako eh.

"Madalas sumasama siya kay Carding mangisda para may magawa naman daw siya. Minsan
tinutulungan niya din sila Toto sa babuyan, tsaka nakikiakyat din siya sa puno para
mangolekta ng pili."

My eyes bulged. "G-ginagawa niya po yun?!" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko. To

imagine the billionaire fishing was hard to believe, to find out that he helps in
the piggery and climbs pili trees is even harder to take. I think I'm gonna faint!

Aling Pacing laughed. "Oo, nung una nga ayaw namin siyang pasubukin. Pero mapilit.
Ayun, pinasubukan namin. Kaya ngayon ang bilyonaryong patay na patay sayo ay
magaling ng maglinis ng kulungan ng baboy, manghuli ng mga dalag at mangolekta ng
pili."

"Wow. Unbelievable." Nagugulumihan ko paring sabi. Inabot ni Aling Pacing ang kamay
ko at pinisil ito. "Alam mo ba, natandaan ko dati, tatlong taon na yun simula ng
umalis ka. Inukit nya yung pangalan mo sa isang puno dun malapit kila Nestor."

Natatandaan ko, si Mang Nestor ay yung chairman.

"Tapos tinanong siya ni Carding kung bakit hindi nalang siya magmahal ng iba tutal
tatlong taon naman na ang nakakalipas.."
"A-ano pong sagot niya?" Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Napangiti si Aling Pacing.

"Wala na daw puwang pa sa puso niya para magmahal ng iba bukod sayo."

56
"I'm so tired. I think I need a kiss." He pouted. I can't help but pinch his nose,
he's just too cute to resist. I didn't kiss him so he puckered his lips even more.
"Mahiya ka nga kila Aling Pacing. Ang landi mo." Nginisian ko siya at sinimangutan
nya naman ako. Kauuwi lang nila ni Mang Carding. He kinda smells like fish but I
don't really care.

"Parang kiss lang ang damot nito!" Pagmamaktol niya, tinawanan ko lang siya bago
humakbang papunta sa kusina. They caught big crabs. Paborito ko to. "Sandali nalang
iha, matatapos na to." Nginitian ako ni Aling Pacing. Ako na ang naglagay ng mga
pinggan sa lamesa.

Pagkatapos kong mag-ayos ay bumalik ako sa porch. Aaron was crossing his arms.
Humiga siya sa duyan, kunyari di niya ako pinapansin. He shot me a stare and then
smirked. Ano naman kaya ang pinaplano nito?

Nagulat ako ng bigla niyang hilain ang bewang ko kaya napahiga rin ako sa duyan.
Napatili ako sa ginawa niya. He grinned from ear to ear before embracing me. "You
smell heavenly." Sabi niya habang marahang inaamoy ang leeg ko.

Napahagikgik naman ako dahil sa pagkakiliti. He played with my hair again, he's so
fond of doing that I swear. "I miss the twins, I hope they're here with us." Utas
niya bago pumikit.

"I miss them too." Nilagay ko ang ulo ko sa dibdib niya. His heart was thumping
loudly. "Sabi sakin ni Aling Pacing naglilinis ka daw ng kulungan ng baboy. Gosh.
Unbelievable. The high and mighty Aaron Ceyx Monteverde cleaning a pig pen?"

He chuckled. "I tried to keep myself busy when you left. I tried new stuff. I
wasn't willing to give myself time to feel sad and alone and all those emotional
shit people feel when they're broken. But it was no use, because everytime I
accomplish something, your face would flash in my head. And I would imagine the
things you would've said if you knew, if you were there with me."

I felt guilty so I just tightened my hug. I looked up only to see him staring at
me. "I wish I shouldn't have left. I wish I should've fought for you harder." He
kissed the top of my head and gave me a small smile.

"Everything happens for a reason. And maybe that reason is that we weren't both
ready that time. And now, destiny gave us another chance to love each other again.
And I swear, this time will be better. I promise to love you better now."

I can feel my heart swimming in rainbow puddles inside my body. I wanted to throw
confettis in the air because I was feeling so happy. I never knew what real
happiness feels like until now.

"I seriously want to marry you right now but as much as I hate to say it, we still
need to talk to Drei about it. He still has to accept that you're not gonna marry
him anymore. I got you now and I have no more reason to hate him. I just want you
to be free from his claws so I could fully claim what's rightfully mine."

I nodded. I took his fingers and fidgeted with it the way he keeps on doing with
mine. "I hope he understands. He's important to me. I've been with him for a long
time and he's also my friend. He will always have a special place in my heart."
Aaron looks grim. A smile slowly materialized on my lips. "Are you jealous?"

He didn't answer. I laughed. "God, you are jealous!" He raised an eyebrow and I
can't help but grin at him. He's so adorable when he gets jealous. I wanna kiss him
so bad but I don't want to make a public display of affection. A kiss can wait.

"Cut it out." He said, obviously annoyed at me for overtly making fun of him. I put
my hand on my mouth in an attempt to cover my face-ripping smile. "The billionaire
is jealous and I think it's cute!"

He frowned and fixed me with his usual penetrating stare. "Stop jesting Cassidy."
He warned. "What will you do if I don't?" I challenged.

He smiled evilly. Oh god, it's the kind of smile that tells me I'll be in deep
trouble. He leaned forward until our faces are only inches apart. "I'll make love
to you from night til dawn and make sure you're sore that you won't be able to
stand up the following day. What do you think?"

I gaped at him, he looked at my lips and gave me a peck. "Cat got your tongue,
chief?"

When I recovered, my initial reaction was to scowl at him. He just gave me a sexy
chuckle before pinching my cheek. "Damn it, you're a pervert." I accused.

"A damn sexy pervert, you mean. I'm the kind of pervert a Cassidy Margaux soon-to-
be-Monteverde can't resist." He wriggled his brows and I gave him a light punch
which he easily deflected.

"Aaron, Cassidy! Halika na at luto na ang bangus at alimango!" Aaron was the first
to get up when we heard Mang Carding's voice resonating from the kitchen. He helped
me stand up and slapped my butt playfully halfway towards the house.

"Hey! You have your own butt, stop slapping mine!" I grumbled peevishly and he did
slap his butt. "It's weird, see? But I think it's sweet when I slap yours." He
reasoned and slapped my butt again, he even squeezed it. I shoved him aside.
"Pervert mo talaga."

"Gusto mo naman!"

"What? Hindi kaya!"

"Oo kaya! Look at your cheeks! You're blushing."

"I am not!"

"Yes you are, denial queen." I crossed my arms and hurriedly made my way towards
Aling Pacing's dining room. I don't want to look at Aaron because as much as I hate
to admit it, I really was blushing and I did like the ass-slapping and ass-grabbing
part. Ugh, I groaned inwardly.

This is what Aaron does to my system! He's polluting my wholesome mind with not-so-
wholesome thoughts. Gosh!

We ate lunch and shared stories. Kinekwentuhan pa ako ni Mang Carding ng mga
ginagawa ni Aaron kapag umuuwi siya dito sa Bicol. He even said that it was their
local tattooist who put my initials on Aaron's chest. I didn't bother hiding my
smile. And I also found out that Aaron was always joining the 'liga'. After the
meal, we stayed there for another hour before Aaron politely told them that we'll
be going home.

"You're smiling again. I'm starting to think that I'm in love with a psychopath." I
gave him a nudge. Napa 'ow' siya habang hawak ang damaged area.

"You deserve that." Nakangiwing inakbayan niya nalang ako. We are currently
watching a movie right now. I don't remember the title because honestly, I wasn't
really watching. I don't think Aaron is, too. We were so busy flirting with each
other that the movie was left forgotten.

"I was thinking.." His voice trailed off. He was tapping his fingers on his chin.
"What?" I queried.

"Let's go swimming tomorrow." My eyes sparkled. I love swimming! I nodded

continuously, much to my excitement. "And oh, you're not allowed to wear a
swimsuit."

Nalukot bigla ang mukha ko. What fun would it be if I'm not wearing a swimsuit?
"What? Why?" I even crossed my arms, but as usual. He raised an eyebrow. "Because
men will be ogling at you if you do that. I know you have a sexy body, but it's for
my eyes only. You need not flaunt it."

"Fine." I gave up, I don't wanna argue with him because he has a fair point. Ayoko
namang mabastos dun so I might as well wear something decent. "Good." He kissed my
lips before smiling.

"I think you should take a bath before you start kissing me and all." I suggested
when I remembered that he hasn't taken a bath yet. Iba na talaga ang nagagawa ng
pagtira sa Bicol, medyo nawala yung pagkamaselan. Samantalang dati, ayaw niyang
mangisda at diring diri siya sa pangalan ng team nila sa basketball.

"Sabay na tayo!" He coaxed but I glared at him. "Ano ka! No way, dahil baka hindi
ligo ang gawin natin dun!" Too late. Too late to take back what I've just said, he
slowly smiled and then he broke into laughter. My face flushed and I palmed it to
hide my cheeks which were now tinted pink with embarrassment.

"Who's the pervert now, huh?" Tignan mo to nang aasar pa. I took the cushion behind
me and I hit him with it repeatedly. "Maligo ka na nga lang dun!"

He tried to suppress his laughter but he failed miserably. I groaned in

frustration. He pulled me closer. "I know you're lusting over me. Admit it chief,
don't worry I won't take it against you." Shit. I'm gonna have to put up with a lot
of raillery from him.

"Conceited mo! Shoo! Just take a bath." Nagsusungit kong sabi. He raised both arms
as a sign of truce. "You go first." And to avoid further jesting, I took my towel
and walked towards the bathroom. I locked the door. I removed my clothes and folded
it neatly and set it down on the side.

I took the dipper and poured water over my body. I shivered. I just love baths.
It's so refreshing and relaxing. Paulit ulit ko munang binuhusan ng tubig ang
katawan ko bago ko napagdesisyunang magsabon. I was about to reach for the soap
when I heard the door creak.

Pumasok si Aaron sa loob ng banyo and my eyes widened. I reached for my towel and
abruptly wrapped my body with it. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. I was sure that I
locked the bathroom door so I was a bit shocked when he entered.

"The lock's broken." He explained as if reading my thoughts. He walked towards me

and I gulped. I can already feel the temperature rising. He put his hand on my
towel and quickly jerked it down. Hinampas ko balikat niya.

"Aaron!" I shrieked. The towel fell on the floor and he grabbed the soap on my
hand. He started rubbing it on my shoulders. He winked seductively at me.
"Papaliguan lang kita. I swear." And it was in the way he said the words 'I swear'
that I knew he was lying.

And as I've expected, we did something more than just taking a bath.

57
"Wag nalang kaya tayong magswimming." Aaron said while pouting. I felt his arm
encircle my waist as he pulled me towards him. I fell on his lap and he buried his
face on my back.

"Ano ka! Ayoko nga!" I protested though I can't help but smile at his giddyness. He
grunted. "Sige na. Let's just stay in bed." He suddenly squeezed my breast and I
smacked his arm. Umagang umaga nagpapakamanyak na naman to!

He chuckled and kissed the skin of my back which was exposed because I'm wearing a
loose low-back shirt. "Please." His voice was hoarse and I stood up too abruptly.
Alam kong kapag hindi ako tumayo sa pagkakakandong sa kanya ay hindi na talaga kami
matuloy.

"C'mon Aaron." Pagkatapos ng matagal na pilitan ay tumayo narin siya. Dinala niya
yung picnic basket at inakbayan ako habang palabas kami. Nakita namin si Didi.
"Woy! May date kayo?" Nakangising sigaw niya. I nodded and she gave me the thumbs
up sign.

Sumakay kami ni Aaron ng jeep papunta sa Magaris beach. I was amazed because here
in Bicol, people are allowed to sit on the jeepney's roof. We reached Magaris in no
time. Marami ring tao. May namataan pa nga akong mga foreigner eh. Aaron held my
hand and intertwined our fingers. Napangiti ako sa simpleng gesture niya.

He headed towards a bamboo shed and put the picnic basket on top of the bamboo
table. "This place is beautiful." Saad ko habang hinahayaang tangayin ng hangin ang
buhok ko. It's not too sunny. The weather is perfect today.

Napatingin si Aaron sa dagat at napangiti. "Kahit nung hindi ka pa bumabalik palagi

na akong pumupunta dito."

I looked at his face and saw emotions swarming in his expressive eyes. "You've
always loved the sea. And everytime I go here, I feel closer to you. And I know
that you would've loved this place and that you would've been captivated by its
beauty the same way that I have been."

Pinisil ko yung kamay niya at niyakap siya. I felt his arms wrapping around me.
"Thank you for loving me like this. For loving me this much." Anas ko ng kumalas
ako sa yakap niya.

He gave me a smile. "Babawi ako sayo sa lahat ng pagkukulang ko sa loob ng limang

taon. I'm gonna make every moment count, every moment will be filled with magic."

Nasabi ko na bang ang swerte ko sa lalaking to? Kung hindi pa edi sasabihin ko uli.
Ang swerte ko kay Aaron. There are billions of girls out there but he chose to love
me. He kissed my lips quickly then told me to sit next to him on the table. He took
the lotion and started applying it on my arms.
His forehead was creased while doing it. Tapos nung akmang lalagyan niya ako sa
legs ay inagaw ko na sa kamay niya ang bote ng lotion at pinandilatan siya. "Not so
fast." I smirked at him and he frowned even more. Aaron is always a frowner. Wag
naman sanang lumaking masungit at suplado si Xander kundi sisisihin ko tong ama
niya.

I miss my twins. Pagbalik namin sa Manila, sisiguraduhin ko na aayusin ko ang

lahat. Hihingi ako ng tawad kay Drei at magpapaliwanag. Bubuuiin namin ni Aaron ang
pamilya namin pag okay na ang sitwasyon. I pictured a happy family and smiled.

"Nakangiti ka na naman mag-isa. Iniisip mo siguro ang gwapo kong mukha." Seryosong
sabi ni Aaron na nakapagpataas ng kilay ko. Sinapak ko ang dibdib niya na
pinagsisihan ko rin naman dahil nakapa ko ang matipuno niyang katawan. Nag iwas ako
ng tingin. "Alam ko namang natutukso ka na ngayon Cassidy eh. It's normal, you
don't need to be embarrassed about it."

I shot him daggers and he just raised both arms, laughing. To tease me even more,
he slowly removed his shirt. He's obviously seducing me and I bit back a comment.
Nanlaki ang mata ko ng makitang tinititigan siya ng tatlong babae sa gilid namin.
Aba! Hindi maaari!

They were obviously ogling at him! Humalukipkip ako at nagtaas ng kilay. But their
eyes were glued to Aaron that they can't even notice that I was giving them death
stares. I have already killed them multiple times in my brain. Aaron furrowed his
brows and looked at the direction I was looking at.

One of the girls squealed in delight and excitement. "Tinignan niya ako!"

"No! Sakin kaya nakatingin!"

"Hindi! Mga ambisyosa kayo. Kita niyong saakin oh." The three ugly toads continued
blabbering about Aaron's hotness. Aaron chuckled and stared at me. "Selos ka?" He
asked me while pouting and I vehemently denied. "No way! I'm more beautiful so why
would I be jealous?" Pabalang kong sagot.

He shrugged while suppressing an overt smile. "Okay, if that's what you say."

I heard the three girls conversing again. "Tingin mo ba girlfriend niya yung kasama
niya?"

"Siguro. Pero ano naman kung girlfriend niya, asawa nga naagaw pa eh."

"Good thinking!"

Hindi na ako nakatiis. Muli kong nilingon ang tatlong pangit. Sobrang nakabusangot
na yung itsura ko at hindi ko alam kung naggo-glow na ng red yung mata ko sa
sobrang pagkainis. They noticed me and they spoke in hushed tones.

"Excuse me? Do I need to put a fucking fence around him so that the three of you
would understand that he's no longer available?" Mataray kong tanong. Napanganga
sila sa gulat, maybe they weren't expecting that. Ng makabawi ang isa ay umirap ito
sakin at nagsalita sa katabin babae.

"Ang taray ni ate nakakainis. Mas bagay naman kami ng boyfriend niya."

My temper skyrocketed. "Oops. Mukhang hindi eh. Subukan mon tumabi sa kanya, for
sure iisipin ng iba maid ka. And he won't even give you a second glance, you poor
creature. I mean look at you, look at the way you dress. Printed top paired with a
printed skirt. That's a big no-no, sweetie." I spoke in a sweet sarcastic tone. Her
jaw fell.

Nagulat din yata yung mga kasama niya kaya hindi na
before pulling Aaron towards me for a kiss. He took
at loss for words. He has this ability to render me
broke the kiss and pinched my cheek. "I love seeing
just too adorable."
nakasagot. I gave them a wink
over the kiss and I'm suddenly
speechless. He grinned when he
your possessive side. You are

Pagtingin ko sa gilid namin ay wala na ang mga babae. I mentally smirked. "That's
what they get for turning my bitch switch on."

I asked Aaron to swim with me to cool my head off. He didn't want to at first but
when he saw a foreigner checking me out, he immediately agreed. He said that he
will keep an eye on me to make sure that no one will dare make a move. I was
wearing floral beach shorts and a plain red top. I ran to the water excitedly.

"Hey, careful. Ang lalaki ng alon." Paalala ni Aaron na nakahalukipkip na nakatayo

sa likuran ko. I gave him a thumbs up to say that I'll be fine. Nagpatuloy akong
naglalakad sa dagat hanggang sa hanggang leeg ko na ang tubig. It feels calming.
May malaking along paparating kaya hinigit ko ang hininga ko.

I felt water douse my entire body, I breathed when the wave subsided. My lips felt
salty. I felt a muscular arm snake on my waist. "You're making me nervous so I
followed." Aaron murmured on my ear. I felt his breath and it tickled me. Unti unti
akong humarap sa kanya at ngumiti siya sakin. "May the sea be the witness of my
love for you. I'm so in love with you Cassidy and I don't know if I will ever be
able to wake up from this madness."

"I love you too and I want you to know that I, too, cannot escape this kind of love
that binds us together." Matamis siyang ngumiti at sinakop ang labi ko. The kiss
was gentle, passionate and full of unspoken promises.

"God, you make me insane." He breathed. His eyes were closed as if he really wanted
to feel everything deeply. He pulled me closer and I felt the wave crash onto our
bodies, pushing us closer to each other. I felt his body heat and decided that it's
not good. If we stay in that position longer, then what will happen next is already
obvious.

Humiwalay ako at niyaya na muna siya sa shore para umupo sa buhanginan. Sabi ko sa
kanya na gusto kong tabunan niya ng buhangin ang katawan ko para ulo lang ang kita.
Nung una ay ayaw niya, alam niyo naman OA yan pagdating sakin. Baka daw may
maliliit na crab sipitin ako at kung ano ano pang weirdong naiisip niya. Pero sa
huli pumayag din siya dahil wala naman siyang magagawa. Ako commander niya eh. Hah!

He finished burying me in the sand. He smirked at me and I frowned at him.

Nakangisi na naman, ano na naman kayang binabalak nito? Dumapa siya ng opposite sa
kinababaunan ko. Kaya yung ulo niya kabaliktaran ng ulo ko. He was leaning into my
face and my eyes widened when he planted his lips on mine.

Grabeng pagpiPDA na to! His lips moved and I copied his movements. His tongue
plunged inside my mouth and I did nothing to stop it. I just love the feeling of
his lips on mine. It feels so right.

I stopped to catch my breath. Ang nakatapat sa may mata ko ay yung baba niya, I
lightly bit it and he groaned. "Bungkalin mo na ko dito pinagsasamatalahan mo na
ako eh!"

He let out a hearty laugh. "Pinagsasamantalahan eh ginusto mo din yun? Mapagpanggap

ka ha." I laughed because I knew that it was true. Hinukay niya ako at itinayo.
Pinagpagan ko ang sarili ko at tumulong siya. Pinagpagan niya ang pwetan ko at maya
maya ay naramdaman ko na ang papisil niya rito. Marahan ko siyang sinapak. "Pervert
mo talaga!"

"Ano naman? You're mine. Heart, body, mind. All mine. Every inch of you. Sakin."

"Ewan ko say-" Hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko ng makita ang isang taong
nanlilisik na nakatingin sakin. The color drained on my face when she walked
towards us. Kumalabog ang dibdib ko. What's she doing here? Akala ko ba hindi siya
uuwi?

Tumigil siya sa harap namin ni Aaron at galit na tinapunan kami ng tingin. "You
cheater!" She shrieked and before I could deflect her hand, it already landed on my
face. Bumiling ang mukha ko sa lakas nito. "Malandi! Pokpok! Salaula! Manloloko!
Slut!" Galit at nanginginig na sigaw niya.

Half dazed, I couldn't compose a sentence. Hinarangan ni Aaron ang katawan ko kaya
nasa likod niya na ako. His hand was protectvely wrapped on my wrist. I felt his
hand tense. "Who gave you the right to slap her?" He asked in a dangerous and scary
tone.

"And who gave the two of you the right to cheat on my brother, huh?!" She balled
her fists and I shut my eyes tightly before speaking. "Ianna, I'm s-sorry.
Kakausapin namin si Drei pagkabalik namin-"

"You filthy whore! Akala ko matino kang babae! I thought I knew you! I thought you
were better than this! Kung alam ko lang na lolokohin mo ang kapatid ko, sa Paris
palang sinampal na kita ng paulit ulit! Ahas ka pala! Tinanggap kita! Tinanggap ka
namin ni Drei and this is how you repay us?!"

"Look miss, I know you're angry about seeing the two of us together again but can
you please try to act civilized? You're giving me the impression that you're a
lowbred bimbo." Madiing saad ni Aaron kay Ianna. I gripped his hand tighter to tell
him to stop but he didn't even falter.

"Ako pa yung walang pinagaralan ngayon eh kayo yung manloloko! Pinaiikot niyo
kapatid ko! Sabihin mo nga sakin Cassidy! Ginamit mo lang ba si Drei para may
susuporta sa inyo ng mga anak mo?!" Akusa niya. Napayuko ako sa kahihiyan. "N-no.
Ever since pera ko ang ginamit ko sa pagpapalaki sa mga anak ko. Hindi ako humingi
kay Drei ng kahit anong halaga."

"And you expect me to believe that?!" Mapait niyang sabi. Humalakhak ng pagak si
Aaron. "Cassidy doesn't need money. Lumaki siyang mayaman at kahit pagsamahin nyo
pa ng kapatid mo ang yaman niyong dalawa ay wala parin yon kumpara sa yamang
tinamasa niya. Kung yun lang din naman ang pinoproblema mo edi sige itanong mo sa
Drei na yun kung magkano lahat ng nagastos niya sa mga anak ko. Dodoblehin ko ang
bayad." Sarkastiko niyang sagot.

I wanted to stop Aaron from speaking because I understand why Ianna's reaction was
like that. But I also know that no amount of coaxing can stop his anger because I
was involved. Nobody can hurt me when he's around, anyone who dares will perish,
that was his motto.

Ianna shot him a look of utter distaste and disapproval. Aaron didn't stop,
instead, he raised his chin proudly. "Because I'm feeling generous today, I think
I'm gonna triple my payment. Ilang milyon ba ha? One million? Two million? Or do
you want a billion?"

Nanlisik muli ang mata ni Ianna. Nagpalipat lipat samin ni Aaron ang mga mata niya
at sa wakas ay tumigil na ito sakin. "Ito ba ang uri ng lalaking ipinagpalit mo kay
Drei? He's barbaric! And you. You are a dirty slut Cassidy! You are disgusting!"

"I-ianna-"

"Nobody speaks to her like that! Mag-ingat ka sa mga sinasabi mo dahil madaling
maubos ang pasensya ko. I don't tolerate rudeness when it's directed towards her.
Nobody and I mean literally nobody can hurt her when I'm around. Umalis ka na miss,
pakiusap. Hangga't nakakapagpigil pa ako. I don't usually hurt women but for you,
I'd gladly make an exception." Aaron's tone was scary and commanding that it made
me feel chills on my spine.

Bumakas ang takot sa mukha ni Ianna. She shot me one last disgusted look before
speaking. "I'll make sure Drei finds out about this. Tatawagan ko siya so I could
expose your true colors. Hindi ka na niya tatanggapin uli pag nalaman niya to!"

Aaron smirked at her. "Well, then good. Because I'm not planning to let go of her
either. Now leave, miss. Or I'll find someone here to drag you." Ianna gave him a
look of anger before walking away. My shoulders drooped when she left. It hurts,
what she said hurts but I can't fight back because I knew that I was wrong.

I was supposed to marry Drei but look at where I was now. Aaron used his index
finger to raise my chin so our eyes would meet. He looks worried and I probably
look defeated. "Hey, it's okay. Hindi ko hahayaang basta ka nalang saktan ng kung
sino." Marahang sabi niya. Tumango ako ng malungkot.

Hinalikan niya ang noo ko. "I will always fight for you."

58
"Umuwi na tayo." Mahinang sabi ko habang nakatingin sa papalubog na araw. Aaron
draped his arm on my shoulders. "I know you're still thinking about what she said.
Don't let it get to you, chief."

Tumango ako kahit binabagabag parin ni Ianna ang utak ko. For five years, we've
been friends. She taught me how to bake and we built C'est la vie together. She was
there when I gave birth to the kids, she helped me shop for their clothes, she
watched over them when I'm out to buy groceries and just like Drei, she loved my
kids. But now she hates me. Naiintindihan ko naman na hindi yon maiiwasan.

Whatever decision I make, someone will always hate me. Someone will always get hurt
in the end. And I hate that I have the power to choose which one gets hurt. "Tingin
mo maiintindihan tayo ni Drei?" Malumanay kong tanong kay Aaron.

He looked away, into the retreating sun and heaved a sigh. "I honestly don't know.
You say that he's a nice person, but people can do unimaginable things for the ones
they love. They do such unfathomable things. It's really hard to tell, because
based from experience I know that love has the ability to make someone do something
completely other worldly."

I don't know what to make of his answer. I was thinking of something else to say
when he held my hand. "You're right. We should go home." Nagligpit kami ng mga
gamit at sumakay ng jeep. He protectively wrapped his arm around my waist when he
saw a man shooting me a seducing glance.

Ng makarating kami sa bahay ay binaba niya na agad sa table ang picnic basket.
Hindi na daw niya aayusin dahil tinatamad na siya. Bukas nalang daw.

"Bigay ko lang to kila Aling Pacing." He was holding a plastic bag. In it were
different kinds of seafood we purchased a while ago. Napagkasunduan naming uwian ng
pangdinner sila Aling Pacing eh. Tumango ako sa kanya at hinalikan niya ako sa noo
bago lumabas ng bahay.

I was about to sit on the bamboo sofa when his phone rang. Tumayo ako para tignan
kung sino ang tumatawag. Si Manang pala. I pressed accept.

"Hello Aaron! Aaron! Asan si Cassidy? Kailangan niyo ng umuwi dito! Si Drei!!"

Her voice sounded panicky. I was abruptly struck with guilt and fear. "M-manang,
this is Cassidy. What happened? Ano pong problema kay Drei Manang?"

Manang was sobbing on the other line now. "Nandito ako sa ospital, anak. Si Drei
may kausap kanina sa telepono tapos bigla nalang humandusay sa sahig. Takot na
takot ang mga bata Cassidy. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko, bumalik na k-kayo."
Her voice quivered. Mas lalo akong inatake ng kaba sa sinabi niya.

Halos hindi ako makapagsalita sa takot at pag aalala. "Cassidy! Cassidy andyan ka
pa ba, anak?"

"O-opo. Uuwi po kami ni Aaron ngayon din. Pakibantayan po si Drei." Pakiusap ko sa

halos garalgal ko ng tono.

"Sige anak. Mag-ingat kayo." Ibinaba ko na ang tawag at parang lantang gulay na
napaupo ako sa sofa. Nasapo ko nalang ang ulo ko at hindi ko mapigilang mapahikbi
sa kaba. Drei has been a very good and trustworthy friend. And he is important to
me. Hindi ko kakayanin pag may masamang nangyari sa kanya.

Nadatnan ako ni Aaron na ganon ang itsura. Agad niya akong dinaluhan at napayakap
ako sa kanya. "Shit Cassidy, tell me why you're crying."

"D-drei is in the hospital right now. We have to go back, I have to see him. I have
to make sure he's safe now. He needs me." Aaron stiffened for a bit then his
muscles relaxed. He gave me an unreadable look before nodding gravely. "Okay."

I gave him a hug and quickly mouthed my thanks. I'm glad he understands. We headed
to the airport and boarded a plane. Dun kami sa firstclass. Hindi kami
nagkaproblema kahit last minute na kami bumili ng ticket. Syempre si Aaron ba naman
ang kasama ko. Originally he wanted us to use his jet but I vetoed the idea. Ni
hindi kami nakapagpaalam kila Aling Pacing dahil sa pagmamadali.

We didn't even bring any luggage with us. On the way to Manila, I felt tensed. I
don't know if I could handle what I was about to hear or see tonight. I tried to
calm myself down but I failed miserably. Aaron pressed my palm and gave me a light
kiss to lessen the tension.

"Everything's gonna be okay." He mumbled. I doubt it. Napapikit ako ng mariin.

Natatakot akong baka tama ang naiisip kong dahilan kung bakit siya nagkaganon.
Maybe he felt really stressed while I was away kaya ganun. Tumambol lalo dahil sa
kaba ang puso ko.

Isang oras lang ang itinagal ng byahe. We quickly headed to the hospital Drei was
in. Tumakbo na ako sa hallway, leaving Aaron behind. Ng nasa tapat na ako ng room
ni Drei ay nakita ko si Manang na nakayuko sa may upuan sa labas. "M-manang." My
voice cracked. Nagtaas siya ng tingin at agad na tumayo upang yakapin ako. "Anak,
si D-drei.."

Tumango ako at hinalikan siya sa noo bago kumalas sa yakap niya. Pinihit ko pabukas
ang pinto ng kwarto ni Drei. Ng makita ko ang itsura niya ay lumubog ang puso ko.
My hand immediately flew to my mouth to suppress a sob. Nanginig ang katawan ko
habang nagpipigil ng luhang nakatingin sa kanya.

Inalalayan ako ni Aaron. Tahimik lang syang nakatingin kay Drei na na walang malay
na nakahiga sa hospital bed. Ang dulo ng mga kamay ni Drei ay halos violet na ang
kulay, ang putla putla niya pa at may machine na nagbubuga ng oxygen sa bibig niya.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at hinaplos ang kamay niya. "D-drei I'm sorry." Nauutal kong
bigkas habang nakatingin sa mukha niya.

"Sa labas lang ako. Call me in case you need anything. I.. I love you." Mahinang
saad ni Aaron. Hindi ko siya nilingon, nanatiling nakapako kay Drei ang mga mata
ko. I can't bring myself to say I love you too right now. It just feels too cruel.
Kahit hindi maririnig ni Drei ay hindi ko parin maatim na sabihin yun.

Narinig ko ang pagbuntong hininga ni Aaron bago lumabas. Pinisil ko ang kamay ni
Drei. "I'm not sure if you can hear me, but if you can.. Then gusto kong magsorry.
Sa l-lahat." Tumulo yung luha ko sa palad niya. A doctor came in and examined him.
Kinausap ko yung doktor.

"W-will he be okay?" Tanong ko. The doctor gave me a sympathetic glance before
speaking. "He's doing better now. Kesa kanina. Honestly miss, akala namin talaga
mawawala na siya kanina. He had a severe asthma attack. It was life-threatening. He
is experiencing cyanosis, yung pagbblue ng daliri. Dahil yun sa kawalan ng oxygen
sa katawan niya."

Napasandal ako sa wall at napalunok. God, it was a close call. "Tapos sobrang bagal
ng tibok ng puso niya. Palagi ba siyang inaatake ng asthma these past few months?"

"H-hindi po. Yung huling atake was four years ago pero hindi ganito kagrabe."
Paliwanag ko. The doctor nodded.

"Then maybe something triggered his asthma. Baka nastress or nadepress siya lately.
Or nakaexperience siya ng strong emotions. Galit, lungkot. Mga ganun. I advice na
iwasan niyong makaramdam siya ng mga emosyong ganon dahil makakasama yon sa kanya.
He was lucky this time pero hindi ko na alam kung sa susunod ay seswertihin pa
siya. We need to be cautious."

Ng matapos magsalita ang doktor ay bumuhos ang luha ko. Lumabas ito para maiwan
akong mag-isa sa kwarto. Napahagulgol ako sa tabi ni Drei. It was my fault. It was
our fault. Aaron and I. Kami ang dapat sisihin rito.

We were too selfish to think about Drei. Hindi ako nag-iisip. Hindi ko iniisip na
maaring mastress siya dahil dito at atakihin siya uli ng asthma. Kasalanan ko to.
Drei almost died and it was all because of my selfishness. He loved me but this is
what I caused him. A near death experience.

Kinulong ko ang kamay niya sa dalawang palad ko. Tumulo roon ang luha ko pero wala
na akong pakialam. "Sana m-mapatawad mo ko Drei."

Bumukas ang pinto at pumasok si Manang. Inabot niya sa akin ang cellphone at nakita
kong tumatawag si Ianna. I was hesitant to answer it at first but in the end I
accepted the call. I thought she was gonna shout at me and blame me but she was
sobbing on the other line.

"I called Drei to tell him about what I saw. Tapos hindi na siya sumagot. Mayamaya
tinawagan ako ni Manang para sabihin na inatake siya at nasa ospital siya. I know
that it's because of what he found out. Because he can't handle it. Because he
loves you too much."
Suminghot ako at nagpatuloy lang sa pakikinig sa kanya. "I want to go there pero
wala pang free na flight. So pakiusap, bantayan niyo syang maigi. Please. You know
I hate you, but this is my brother we're talking about. At alam kong ayaw mo rin
namang m-may masamang mangyari sa kanya. Please wag mo siyang pabayaan."

"I-ianna-"

Lalo siyang humagulgol. "Please Cassidy. Wag mo ng saktan pa lalo si Drei. Ayokong
mawala siya sakin. Mahal ko ang kapatid ko. H-hindi ko alam na aatakihin siya ng
dahil sa pagsumbong ko sa nakita ko. If I could undo it then I will. Pero hindi eh.
M-masyado ka niyang mahal na halos ikamatay niya ang pangungulila sayo. Na halos
ikamatay niya ang kaalamang magkasama kayo ni Aaron. A-ayoko siyang mawala
Cassidy.."

Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa phone habang tulo ng tulo ang luha ko. She was right and
I hate it. Ayokong mamatay si Drei dahil sakin. He doesn't deserve to die because
of me. He deserves to live, to be happy.

Napapikit ako para harangan ang mga luha pero wala akong magawa. Naririnig ko parin
ang mga hikbi ni Ianna sa kabilang linya.

"Nagmamakaawa ako sayo C-cassidy. Wag mong iwan ang kapatid ko."

59

"Lord, I don't know what to do anymore. I love Aaron so much but I don't want to
hurt Drei. Drei deserves none of these things I've caused him. I am not worthy of
his love and I know that I never will be. He's been such a good friend and I don't
want him to die. Please Lord, save him from this and I promise that I'll do the
right thing. Even if it will hurt me. Even if it will kill me. Please don't let
Drei die. He deserves a far more better life than the life I'm giving him. He
deserves to be loved and not to be left. Please Lord. Let him live." Bumagsak ang
mga luha ko habang nakatingin sa altar kung san may rebulto ng Panginoon.

"Maybe Aaron's not the right one for me. I've loved Drei before and maybe I'll
learn to love him again. Maybe Aaron's just a reminder that there are things in
this world that we can't have even if our hearts yearn for it so much. I love him.
Too much that I'm willing to forget the world for him. But I can't do it when
someone's life is at stake. I can't do it because my conscience won't let me."

Nanginig ang mga balikat ko at tuluyan na akong napahagulgol. I hate being in

crossroads. I hate having to choose because I know that I lack good judgement and I
tend to make wrong decisions. But now I am forced to face one. To choose between
two. To love or be loved. It has always been one of the most frequently asked
questions when it comes to love.

But can't I love and be loved at the same time? Can't there be a choice that
benefits all? Can there be a potion which can magically heal broken hearts? No. And
at the end of the day I know that I need to choose. And my choice scares me.

"Lord I'm begging you. Spare him and I promise that I'll do the right thing."
Nagsign of the cross ako at yumuko sa altar bago tuluyang umalis sa hospital
chapel. Pinunasan ko ang rumagasang luha ko. My eyes were bloodshot. Hindi pa
nagigising si Drei. Kanina ay lalong bumagal ang heartbeat niya kaya kinabahan ako.

Naglakad ako pabalik sa kwarto niya at nakita kong nakaupo si Aaron sa labas.
Nakahilig ang ulo niya sa pader habang tulala siya sa kisame. Napalingon siya sakin
at nakita ko ang pag-aalala sa mga mata niya. Nanakit ang puso ko ng tignan ko ang
mukha niya. Nagbawi nalang ako ng tingin at nilagpasan siya.

Pipihitin ko na sana pabukas ang pinto ng kwarto ni Drei ng maramdaman ko ang

paghawak niya sa braso ko. "C-chief." His voice was breaking and I shut my eyes
tightly to block the tears that were threatening to fall.

"B-bakit?" Bigla niya akong niyakap at pinigilan ko ang sarili kong yakapin siya
pabalik. "Drei will be okay soon. He's a tough man." He mumbled encouragements.
Nanghihinang napatango nalang ako bago ko siya marahang tinulak.

"Pasok lang ako. Bantayan ko siya." Bulong ko. Hindi niya parin binibitawan ang
kamay ko. Ginawaran niya ako ng halik sa noo. "M-mahal na mahal kita. Remember
that." Nakatakas ang isang luha sa mata ko at agad ko yung pinunasan ng hindi niya
na makita pa. Muli lang akong tumango bago humiwalay at pumasok sa loob.

I saw Manang sitting on the couch while looking at Drei. I told her to take a break
and grab something to eat and she nodded. I pulled a monoblock and dragged it
beside Drei's bed. The violet color of his fingers was subsiding. I took his hand.
"H-hoy Raven Andrei. Ninenerbyos na ako. Gumising ka na diyan. The doctor said you
were in bad condition but you're doing better. Please heal fast. P-please."

They said that talking to the patient even if he or she is unconscious is good.
Because there's a possibility that they are listening. I clasped his hand tighter.
"Sorry ha. Wala na akong ibang ginawa kundi saktan ka. Alam mo hindi ko nga deserve
yang pagmamahal mo eh. You're too good, too nice to fall for someone as messed up
as I am. Sorry kasi kung hindi sakin wala ka sana sa ganitong sitwasyon. Naging
makasarili ako."

The machine he was connected to beeped. "G-gising ka na Rad." Bibitawan ko na sana

ang kamay niya ng gumalaw ito. Gulat na napatingin ako sa kanya at unti unti siyang
nagmulat ng mata. His eyes bore down on me. "C-cassidy..."

His voice was hoarse. I was panicking when I pressed the buzzer. A doctor and a
nurse rushed inside to examine him. Tumalikod ako para lumabas pero muli niyang
tinawag ang pangalan ko. Nahihirapang nilingon ko siya. His arm was outstretched
and I knew that the movement exhausted him.

"N-ne laissez pas.." (Don't leave)

My heart sank to the depths. "I won't. Sa labas lang ako. May aayusin lang. Tapos
babalik na ko. Sayo."

Lumabas ako agad at halos magkabungguan pa kami ni Aaron dahil papasok sana siya sa
loob. Hinila ko siya papunta sa dulo ng hallway para makapag-usap kami. "I can't do
this." It took me all the amount of courage I have in my body to say those words
without stuttering.

"Can't do what?" Patay malisya niyang tanong. I looked at him straight in the eyes.
"I can't hurt Drei."

That's when I saw his expression change. I saw how he gritted his teeth. Napasapo
siya sa ulo niya habang nakatingin sakin. "At ako kaya mong saktan ha Cassidy?!
Ganon ba yon?"

Mabilis akong umiling iling. Nasisilaw ako sa sakit na nakita ko sa mga mata niya.
Alam kong alam niya kung saan patungo ang usapang ito. "Aaron please try to
understand. I don't want Drei to die." Halos nakikiusap na ang tono ko.
"He is not gonna die! Maayos na yung lagay niya Cassidy! Ano bang sinasabi mo
dyan?!" He went balistic. Napapikit ako. "He almost died Aaron. I can't risk it."
Mahinang sambit ko.

Napasapak siya sa pader. I cringed. I felt hurt and angry at nothing in particular.
Ang alam ko lang ay kailangan ko ng gawin ang tama sa pagkakataong ito. "Kailangan
ko rin bang mapunta sa kalagayan niya Cassidy? Do I need to have a near death
experience for you to value me?!"

Nakita kong sumilay na ang mga luha sa mga mata niya. Everything was too intense
that I was left speechless. "Ano?! Kailangan ba? Kung ganon din lang naman pala edi
sige! Ngayon din ay magpapasagasa ako!" He stormed in the hallway but I tugged at
his arm. Nurses were looking at us but I was too hurt to give a damn. "Aaron ano
ba! Stop this madness! Stop your stupidity!"

Pumiksi siya sa hawak ko at kitang kita ko ang mapula niyang mukha. "No Cassidy!
You stop this! Stop playing with my feelings! One minute you love me then the next
you want out?! Anong klase yun?"

"Mali ito Aaron! Hindi mo ba nakikita? This kind of love is wrong! This kind of
love is not healthy anymore!" Galit na sigaw ko narin. Napahilamos siya ng mukha at
puno ng sakit ang mga mata niya ng tignan niya ako. "Wrong?! Kahit kelan hindi
naging mali ang magmahal. Tandaan mo yan."

I let go of his arms. It hurts to see him hurting but what can I do? I wanted to
take his pain away but how can I do that when I'm the one causing it?

"Nagiging mali ang pagmamahal pag may naaapakan na. At natatapakan natin si Drei!"

Naningkit ang mga mata niya. "Fuck your stupid logic! Everyone who falls inlove
gets hurt! Lahat nasasaktan. Lahat naapakan. Walang nagmamahal na hindi nakakaranas
nun! Drei knows that! Everyone fucking knows that except you! Wala tayong magagawa
because that's the rule of love. If you've never been hurt then you've never loved!
Pain is inevitable! Laging may maapakan and we can't do anything about it!"

"Don't be so immature." Nanghihina kong saad. Nagtataas baba na ang dibdib niya at
hindi ko alam kung dahil ba ito sa galit sakin o sa sakit na pinadadama ko sa kanya
ngayon. "Falling in love makes people immature Cassidy."

I ran out of words. I ran out of witty comebacks. I just listened to his heavy
breathing. He continued speaking. "Madaya ka maglaro Cassidy. I thought we were
better than this. I thought we could handle anything. But you're giving me up, just
like that. Just. Like. That. You are so damn unfair and I hate it! You make me feel
like I'm worthless. Like I'm some disposable piece of trash you can easily get rid
of. Wala ba talaga akong halaga sayo? W-wala lang ba sayo lahat ng pinagdaanan
natin?" His voice broke and I saw a tear escape his eye. He quickly wiped it.

"Bakit ka naman ganyan? Akala ko okay na lahat eh. Pero bakit eto na naman tayo.
Putangina masakit eh. Akala ko dati okay lang na ako yung lumalaban para sating
dalawa. Pero hindi pala. I now realized that in love, you should not only fight.
You should also be fought for. But why? Why is it so easy for you to just throw
everything away? Why does it seem easy for you to constantly push me away, huh?!"

My knees buckled and I felt the wounds his words were creating. His words acted
like knives. It cut and it stabbed and I bled.

"You mean everything to me and you know that."

"If you really loved me then you wouldn't do this. But you did. And it hurt even
more. I was willing to give you the world. Ang galing mo manakit no? Bull's eye!
Damang dama. Tagos na tagos. Kung natutuwa ka dahil nasasaktan ako then kudos! Job
well done. If you did this for revenge, to get back at me, to make me feel the pain
I inflicted on you then congratulations again. Mission successful." Bumagsak na
yung mga luha nya pero mabilis niya itong pinunasan.

"Aaron s-sorry-" naramdaman ko ang pagiinit ng gilid ng mga mata ko pero pinigilan
ko ito. Ginusto ko to diba? Anong karapatan kong masaktan? Anong karapatan kong
umiyak?

Mapait nya akong tinignan. Namumula na ang mga mata niya. "Sorry? Wala namang
magagawa yan eh. I saw you as a princess, you know? I wanted to save you from your
lonely tower. I was willing to cross oceans and kill dragons for you but then you
chose someone else. I was just some random knight in your story. I was no prince.
In the end, I will always be someone irrelevant in your life." Puno ng sakit niyang
sabi.

Natututop ko ang bibig ko para pigilan ang paghagulgol. "I loved you so much that
it's killing me. Wala ng natira sakin. Puro sayo nalang napunta. Kaya ngayon hindi
ko na alam kung pano. Mahal na mahal kita pero putangina ang sakit sakit na."

My lips quivered and I looked away. I couldn't meet his stare. Hindi ko kaya dahil
nasasaktan ako sa sakit na nakikita ko sa mata niya.

"We will never be truly happy if we continue this." Nakayuko kong sambit. "I've
never felt this hurt before." Nasasaktang saad niya. I glanced at him. Pinunasan
niya ang luha niya at inayos ang tayo. His eyes gave him away. Namumula ito at
namamaga.

"Kung yan ang gusto mo, then wala na akong magagawa. Wag kang mag-alala. Hindi ko
papabayaan ang kambal. Mahal ko ang mga anak ko."

Hindi nalang ako nagsalita. "I wanted you so bad. I planned to marry you when
everything's okay. Pero hindi na pala mangyayari yon. I dreamt of going home from
work and seeing you waiting for me. I wanted to wake up with you, sleep with you
and experience everything with you. I want to be silly with you and do stupid
things with you. Pero hindi na pala a-ako yung gagawa nun kasama ka." Naluluha na
ako kaya nagiwas ako ng tingin.

He too was starting to tear up again so he raised his head to prevent the tears
from falling. He laughed sarcastically. "I never thought loving you could be this
hard."

Ng magbaba siya ng tingin ay bumagsak parin ang luha niya. He harshly wiped it.
"Fine. If this is what you want then so be it. I'm letting go. I'm dropping the
sword down. You've won Cassidy. You've won this battle."

"A-aaron-"

He gave me a cold stare. "This billionaire no longer owns you. Goodbye."

After saying that, he quickly walked out. I watched his retreating back. Each step
he's taking is breaking my heart in half. My shoulders droop and my body shook. Ng
mawala na siya sa paningin ko ay nayakap ko nalang ang sarili ko. Tsaka kumawala
ang kanina ko pa pinipigilan na paghikbi.

Why does the right thing feel so wrong?

60

"I'm happy now Cassidy." Nakangiting sabi Christian habang nakatingin sa

nakatalikod na si Theia. She excused herself to go to the comfort room for a while.
Third wheel nila ako ngayon. Psyche is with her boyfriend kaya hindi siya kasama
ngayon. Yes, boyfriend. May boyfriend na nga ang bruha.
I gave Christian a fake smile. "I can see that. Good for you." Hindi ko mapigilang
mabahiran ng bitterness ang tono ko. Am I the only one here who feels miserable?
Christian tapped my shoulder. "It's all thanks to you. Naalala mo nung umalis ka
dati? Sabi mo dapat pagbalik mo kami na. I decided to make a move. If it weren't
for your empty threats, then I wouldn't have had the courage to confess. If it
weren't for those encouragements you gave me then I won't be happy now. Thanks
Cassi."
Wow. Ang galing kong umayos ng pag-ibig ng iba. Samantalang yung sarili ko...
Napatingin nalang ako sa labas ng starbucks. I saw couples holding hands.
Everywhere I look I see couples and it irritates me. It irritates me because it
hurts. Kamusta na kaya siya? Ano kayang ginagawa niya ngayon? Is he still hurting
just like me?
"Cassi, you have to make a move. In order for you to be happy you have to do
something." May laman niyang saad. Bumuntong hininga ako at pinaglaruan ang straw
ng macchiato ko. Bumalik na si Theia. She slid on the chair next to Christian.
"What's going on?" Nagtatakang tanong niya. Umiling nalang ako at pinilit kong
ngumiti. Nagtaas siya ng kilay but she knows better than to press me for
information so she just shrugged it off. We spent the day roaming the mall. I was
in no mood to shop for myself so I just bought new clothes for the twins.
They wanted to watch a movie but I don't. I don't want to completely ruin their
fine date so I just told them that I'd go home. Of course they both said no but I
insisted. Sa huli hinayaan nalang nila ako. I boarded a cab and told the cabbie
where I wanted him to drop me off.
Habang nasa taxi ako ay hindi ko mapigilang maalala ang gabing naospital si Drei.
That was the night I cut ties with Aaron. That was the night I asked him to let me
go and he did. That was the night I lost him forever.
Pagkatapos ng gabing yon ay hindi na uli siya nagpakita sakin. He regularly calls
the twins at pinapasundo niya ito sa bahay. But he remained true to his words. When
he bade his farewell, I actually felt that he meant it. I knew I had no right to
cry and be broken about it but I was.
Ganon talaga siguro ang buhay. Hindi lahat ng gusto mo, makukuha mo. Hindi lahat ng
gusto mo, nakatadhana para sayo. In two months, I'll be Drei's wife. I eyed the
engagement ring on my finger. It felt painful to look at.
Pinadala to ni Aaron sa bahay the night Drei got discharged. After nung gabing
pinili ko si Drei ay hindi ko na nakita pa ni ang anino ni Aaron. I cried every
night, I regretted my decision every night and I think of him every day. Wasak na
wasak na ang puso ko but I have to put it all together.
It's been ten days. Ten days of no Aaron. Ten long days of pure misery. But I have
to endure. Ginusto ko ito diba? Huminto ang taxi sa tapat ng subdivision. I paid my
fare then descended from the cab while holding the paperbags on my left hand.
Nakita ako ng guard at ngumiti ito. Tinanguan ko lang si Mang Caloy. "Maam, ang
laki ng pinayat niyo! Okay lang po ba kayo?" Nag-aalalang sabi nito at ngumiti
nalang ako. Wala na itong iba pang sinabi at dumeretso na ako papasok. Nagulat ako
ng makitang naghihintay siya sa gate. Bumungad sakin ang nakangiti niyang mukha.
"Anong ginagawa mo diyan?" Tanong ko. He pouted at me. "Hinihintay ka. Masama bang
hintayin ang pag-uwi ng fiancee ko? Masama ka bang mamiss?" Paglalambing niya.
Nailang nalang ako. "Ewan ko sayo Drei. Baka makasinghot ka na naman ng alikabok.
Pumasok ka na nga sa loob."
Kinuha niya yung mga pinamili ko para sa kambal at inakbayan ako. Sabay na kaming
pumasok sa loob ng bahay. Nadatnan namin si Manang na nakikipaglaro sa dalawa.
Xiana and Xander ran towards me and hugged my legs.
"Mommy! We're home! Daddy has a meeting so he sent us home even if it's early pa.
He's busy daw today and even tomorrow so he'll make bawi nalang daw the day after
tomorrow!" Xiana gave me a toothy smile. Pinilit kong ngumiti pero ngiwi ang
lumabas sa bibig ko. I patted their heads. "Mommy bought new clothes for you two."
Xander was the first one to rummage into the paperbags. He said thanks and ran to
their room while carrying it. Xiana found the pink dress I bought for her and she
said she's gonna try it on.
"Kain ka na muna anak. Nagluto na ako ng banana cue pang meryenda." Saad ni Manang
habang nililigpit ang mga toy robots ni Xander. "Uhm, di na po. Hindi ako gutom.
Akyat nalang ako sa kwarto. Knock when you need anything." Sabi ko bago aktong
aakyat ng hagdan. I would've made it to my room if Drei didn't call me.
"Cassidy! Ilang araw ka ng hindi kumakain ng matino. I swear you have got to stop
doing that. Ang payat mo na. Look at you! You don't even look like you anymore."
Pagalit na sambit ni Drei. Humarap ako sa kanya. "Drei, wag kang mag-alala. Okay
lang ako. Wag kang OA dyan ha? Hindi bagay." Pagbibiro ko kunyari.
Pagkasabi ko nun ay pumanik na ako sa kwarto. Umupo ako sa kama at natulalang
napatingin nalang sa pader ng kwarto ko. God, I miss him s much. Hindi ko na naman
napigilan ang pagtulo ng luha ko. Ganito naman ako eh, iiyak ako pag ako nalang
mag-isa. Pag hindi na nila nakikita. I've never felt so helpless and alone before.
Biglang bumukas ang pinto ng kwarto kaya marahas akong napapunas ng luha ko. It was
no use anyway. Drei already saw it. He walked towards me and cupped my face. He
wiped my tears using his thumb. Nakita ko ang lungkot sa mga mata niya ngunit hindi
ko alam kung para saan yon. "I hate seeing you cry."
Gaya ng dati, I gave him a synthetic smile. "A-ano ka ba. Wala lang to. Naalala ko
lang kasi nung naospital ka. Natakot ako. Yun lang yon." Pagpapalusot ko. He
doesn't look convinced. He let go of my face and stared at me. "Yun ba talaga yung
dahilan?"
"O-oo." I lied again. Yumuko ako. Narinig ko nalang ang pagpapakawala niya ng
buntong hininga. "It's Aaron." Anas niya. Gulat na nagtaas ako ng tingin. "Ano bang
sinasabi mo dyan Drei? Tama na nga. Sinabi ko na sayo na naalala ko lang yung
nangyari sayo kaya ako naiiyak kaya wag mong bigyan ng ibang kahulugan!" I can't
help but shout. Biglang nabuhay yung galit sa puso ko, lalong naging intense yung
sakit nung banggitin niya ang pangalan ni Aaron.
Kalmado parin niya akong tinignan. "He's the reason why you're acting like this.
He's the reason why you're almost starving yourself to death, why you always seem
pre-occupied, why you are always zoning out. And why you're always crying at
night." Malungkot niyang sabi. Napamulagat ako.
"Anong.. Paano mo-"
He looked away. "I check on you every night Cassidy. At lagi kong nararamdaman ang
tuyong luha sa mga pisngi mo pag hinahaplos ko ito. I know Cassidy. You don't have
to hide it from me."
"This is bullshit Drei! Bakit ba natin to kailangang pag-usapan? Tama na! Pagod
ako! Gusto ko nalang magpahinga please!" Nanghihinang sigaw ko. My tears fell
nonstop. I was about to turn my back when he pulled me. "No Cassidy. We will talk
about this and we will talk about this now." Pinal niyang saad. Nabakas ko ang
konting galit at pagsuko sa boses niya.
"Drei, I don't want a fight right now so please.." He held my gaze. "I don't want a
fight either."
Umiling nalang ako bago ko siya tuluyang tinalikuran. Sumampa ako sa kama at
nagtalukbong ng kumot. I know he wouldn't leave so I resorted to being stubborn.
Ayokong pag-usapan si Aaron. Aaron is a sour topic for me. Hindi ko kayang hindi
siya pag-usapan ng hindi nagbbreak down.
"Cassidy." Drei used his warning tone but I didn't budge. He let out a resigned
sigh. "Cassidy ayoko na ng ganito."
"Ayoko rin ng ganto Drei so lumabas ka nalang. I want time alone. I want to rest.
I'm so damn tired." Sagot ko.
"Cassidy hindi mo ko naiintindihan. Iba ang ibig kong sabihin ng ayoko na. Ayoko na
ng ganito. Pagod na ko. Pagod na kong magpanggap na mahal mo ko, pagod na kong
magbulagbulagan na magiging okay tayo. Pagod na kong lokohin ang sarili ko.
Naririnig mo ba ako? A-ayoko na." His voice cracked and I stiffened. Hindi ako
nakagalaw sa ilalim ng kumot.
"Ang sakit kasi na alam kong hindi ako yung mahal mo pero kinukumbinsi ko yung
sarili ko na may pag-asa pa. It hurts to see you hurting everyday. It hurts to see
you cry. It hurts to know that those tears are for somebody else."
Inalis ko ang kumot at nilingon siya. Nakita kong namumula na yung gilid ng mga
mata niya. Binalot ng sakit ang puso ko. Napaupo ako sa kama at napatingin lang sa
kanya.
"I just can't take it anymore. Hindi rin ako makatulog dahil alam kong dahil sakin
may dalawang taong nasasaktan. Yes, I want you to stay with me but not like this! I
want you to stay because you want to and not just because you're obliged to do so."
His tears fell one by one and I remained rooted in place.
"I don't have your heart anymore." He was crying while saying those.
"Believe me, I tried. I tried so hard." naiiyak kong tugon. Lumapit siya sakin at
hinaplos ang pisngi ko.
"It's okay. Je te crois. Hindi ako galit. Kung yun ang iniisip mo then ngayon
palang sinasabi ko na na hindi ako galit. I can't stay mad at you and you know
that. I don't know how to hate you." (Believe me) I hugged him and cried on his
shoulder. Kahit kelan talaga napakabait ni Drei. Hindi ko deserve ang tulad niya.
Hinaplos niya ang buhok ko. Alam kong nasasaktan siya ngayon pero wala akong magawa
para pawiin ito.
"Be with whoever makes you happy..." Bulong niya sa tenga ko. Hindi makapaniwalang
tumingin ako sa mga mata niya. I saw sadness and acceptance.
"You make it sound so simple. I don't want to hurt you. Ayoko ng maospital ka uli
dahil sa sobrang sama ng loob. Ayokong sapitin mo yun uli." Pinunasan niya uli ang
mga luha ko sa hindi ko na mabilang na pagkakataon. Umiling siya ng marahan at
hinalikan ang noo ko.
"You don't have to worry about me. I'll be okay. Magiging maayos ako, hindi ko
papabayaan ang sarili ko. I'll be fine." Paninigurado niya. I hugged him again and
sobbed. I admire his courage.
"I'm giving you up. I love you enough to set you free."
This time it was I who wiped his tears away. "Someday a girl will come and she'll
sweep you off your feet. She'll make you feel loved and you'll be happy too." I
assured him. Nginitian niya ko bago unti unting tumango. Kinuha niya yung kamay ko
at tinignan ang engagement ring na binigay niya sakin.
"Someone out there deserves this ring far better than I do." Sambit ko.
"Je ne vous emprunte.." (I only borrowed you)
Dahan dahang hinubad niya ito sa daliri ko.
"Now I'm giving you back to him."
Napaiyak ako sa sinabi niya. Tumayo na siya at nagpunas ng luha. He gave me one
last brave smile before heading towards the door.
"Je vous mise en liberte, Cassidy."

Final Chapter

EPILOGUE NEXT. Anyway, di ko rin ma-take na nasaktan si Drei. So I decided to

create a story for him. Maikli lang, siguro 20-30 chaps lang. It's already posted.
Title: Crashing into Love. That's all, thanks for making it this far guys.

FB Group: Patyeah Stories

***
The moment Drei said those words, I finally knew what to do. Pinunasan ko ang luha
ko at sinikop ang buhok ko. I tied it in a bun and ran down the stairs. Naabutan ko
si Manang at nagtaas siya ng tingin sakin.
"Oh, san ang punta mo anak?" She asked when she saw me reaching for my car key.
"I'm gonna chase love, Manang. I'm gonna chase love." I said using a silly cryptic
voice. Nagkunot lang siya ng noo.
Nagmamadali akong sumakay ng kotse at nagdrive papunta sa kumpanya ni Aaron. I know
he's there. I parked in front of the building. Iniwan ko na ang bag ko sa kotse. I
won't need it anyway. The guard greeted me and I hurriedly smiled before squeezing
myself inside the elevator.
Habang nasa loob ako ay kumakalabog ang lintik kong puso. I'm so damn nervous. I
don't know what his reaction will be. Will he push me away? Tell me he doesn't want
me anymore? Negative thoughts filled my head but I tried my best to avoid being a
pessimist.
Kahit anong maging reaksyon na, kahit magalit siya o sigawan ako ay okay lang. I
hurt him. And he was right. Pain was inevitable. It was indeed a part of
everything. Of love and even in life. Hindi ko alam kung tatanggapin niya pa ba ako
uli but it's better to give it a shot than live with what ifs.
Love is not just about mutual feelings, it's about something deeper. It's about
trust, loyalty and taking risks. The elevator pinged and my heart raced even more.
I can't hear anything else rather than my rapid heartbeats.
It's you and me this time, Aaron. You and me. No walls, no anything between us.
Dumiretso ako sa office niya pero hinarang ako ng secretary niya. "Maam, I'm sorry
but Mr. Monteverde is in the conference room right now."
Gumuho yung mundo ko. I want to see him now! I want us to talk now! "What time will
he-" I asked while trying to mask my peevishness with politeness. She cut me off
after checking Aaron's schedule before answering. "7 pm pa po."
I checked my wristwatch and saw that it was only 5:15 pm. I'd have to wait for
almost two hours?! Hell, no! This is urgent! Anything that concerns my love for him
is urgent! I can't lose him! Not again! I hurriedly ran to the other side of the
hallway and ran to the right. This building is labyrinthine but I was able to find
the conference room without breaking a sweat.
There was a guard in front of the huge double doors and I knew that I have to make
a distraction to lure him away from it so I could get inside and talk to Aaron. I
don't have any better ideas so I took chances.
"Oh my gosh! The girl is commiting suicide! She's gonna jump!" Turo ko sa may
veranda. It caught the attention of the employees. The guard glanced and I bolted
towards the door.
Naitulak ko na yung pinto ng may humawak sa braso ko. May guard pala sa likod ko,
damn it! "No! No! I have to talk to your boss! It's important!" Pagmamakaawa ko
pero balak yata akong kaladkarin ng guard at itapon sa labas dahil sa ginawa ko.
Hindi ba nila ako kilala? My god! Where's Denver when I need him?! Hinila uli ng
guard yung braso ko at para hindi niya ako matangay paalis ay inilusot ko ang braso
ko sa double doors at ikinapit ang kamay ko sa door knob sa kabilang side.
Hila ng hila yung dalawang guard pero hindi ako bumibitaw kahit ang sakit na sa
kamay.
"Miss! Ano ba-"
"Aaron! Aaron help me!" Desperadang sigaw ko. I know he could hear me because the
door was ajar. Hindi ko nga lang makita ang loob dahil hatak ng hatak ang dalawang
ito sakin.
"Miss! Tumigil ka nga! Ipapaban ka namin dito!" Banta ng isang guard. Lalo kong
hinigpitan ang kapit ko. Yung isang kamay ko ipiniglas ko at kinapit ko din sa
pinto. I look pathetic and desperate but who the fuck cares?
"Aaron! Can you hear me?! If you can then-aray! Bitawan niyo nga ako!-kung
naririnig mo, gusto kong malaman mong mahal kita!-Sandali lang nga! Wag nyo akong
hatakin!-Aaron mahal na mahal kita and I'm sorry-Ouch!" Hindi ako makasigaw ng
maayos dahil hinihila parin nila ako. And at last they were successful. Napabitaw
ako sa pinto at hinigit nila ako sa magkabilang braso. I thrashed and kicked but
they held me tight.
"AARON CEYX MONTEVERDE I AM FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU! LUMABAS KA DYAN! PLEASE!" I
shouted some more. But no Aaron came to rescue me from these two guards. Naiiyak na
ko pero pinigilan ko.
"A-aaron!!" Pumiyok na ang boses ko, dahil sa sobrang kahihiyan at iba pa.
Employees were gathering and eyeing me with distaste. The two guards dragged me
towards the elevator. Ipapasok na sana nila ako sa loob ng makarinig kami ng isang
malamig na boses.
"I'll take it from here. Leave us." Sabi niya sa dalawang guards. Naghuramentado
ang puso ko sa kaba. I looked up and saw his face. Nagkaeyebags siya. He looks
stressed. He grew stubbles. He didn't look at me, his eyes were trained on the two
guards who were still holding me.
"Pero sir kasi nanggugulo siya ka-"
"I said leave!" His voice boomed on the entire hallway. Takot na binitawan ako ng
dalawang guard. Hinigit niya na naman ako at nagmamadaling naglakad palayo. I can
feel his anger. He is fuming right now and I wanted to cower. Itinype niya sa LED
panel ang password ng office at ng sumara ang office doors ay marahas niyang
binitawan ang kamay ko.
"What the fucking hell was that all about, huh?!" Galit na sigaw niya. Napaurong
ako. I wasn't expecting the amount of anger I saw in his eyes. "I.. I said I love
you." Mahina at nakayuko kong saad.
Napapalatak siya bigla. "I wasn't deaf Cassidy, and the investors weren't deaf too.
They heard everything! I was in a meeting! I would've closed the deal if.. if only
you didn't show up and pulled that kind of stunt." Puno ng iritasyon parin niyang
sagot. Nanliit ako. I wanted to shrink and disappear but it's too late to back out
now.
"I love you and I'm sorry that I gave you up. Sorry kasi binitawan kita agad ng
ganon na lang, akala ko kasi yun yung tama. I thought it will be better if I just
let go of you. There was a massive wall between us and ever since, you've always
exerted effort to climb it so you could reach me. Pero ako. Ako palagi yung
lumalayo. I built walls after walls after walls. I was scared and confused and I
didn't know what to do. Instead of holding on to you, I pushed you away."
I heard his heavy breathing and it kind of bothered me that he wasn't saying
anything at all. "Ang dami na nating pinagdaanan. We hurt each other. We're good at
that, aren't we? Pero diba kahit naman ilang beses tayong masaktan, babalik parin
tayo sa isa't isa. I remember you saying it once and I will say it again. There
will always be one thing that would always remain constant. Our love. Do you
remember saying that? Because I do. And now, I'm willing to fight for you, too."
Humalukipkip siya habang seryosong nakatingin sakin. Habang ako parang tangang
naluluha na naman. Ang iyakin ko rin talaga, nakakainis.
"You don't have to fight for both of us anymore. We can fight together now. You
don't have to fight dragons and cross oceans alone. I'll do it with you. We're
gonna do it together. And that's because I'm so deeply, stupidly and painfully in
love with you Aaron Monteverde. And nothing can ever come between us now. I
promise, this time there's no more giving up. No more letting go."
His expression was unreadable. Nakapamulsa lang siya habang nakapako ang mata
sakin. Napapikit ako ng mariin. "Please say something. Anything."
Hindi parin siya sumagot. His silence is tearing me apart. Nangangatog na yung
tuhod ko. "Mahal na m-mahal kita. Okay lang sakin kahit hindi mo ko tanggapin
ngayon kasi alam kong nasaktan kita. I know it's not that easy to forgive because-"
"Oh fuck!" Napamura siya bigla. I looked at him, confused.
Tinignan niya ako sa mata. "Fuck everyone! Fuck everything! Who the hell am I
kidding? I am in love with you too Cassidy! I don't care if I close that damn deal
or not, what matters is that you're here now. In front of me." He said suddenly and
he reached for me and cupped my face. He wiped my tears before kissing me
passionately.
My heart drummed and I was almost losing my grip on sanity. I don't know how his
kiss can do this to me. Napapikit ako at napayakap sa batok niya. I pulled him
closer and he kissed me with more fervor that the sensation drowns me.
Ng bumitiw siya ay kinulong niya ako sa mahigpit na yakap niya. I hugged him back.
The familiarity of the feeling of being trapped in his arms is so intoxicating.
"I'm sorry for shouting at you that night, chief. Aaminin ko sobra kong nasaktan.
Akala ko kasi nung oras na yun handa ka ng lumaban para satin eh. Akala ko okay na
tayo. Sorry too, for not trying to understand your situation. I thought it was
really the end of us. I didn't contact you after that because I was scared that I
might pester you. Natakot akong baka lalo mo akong palayuin sayo kapag kinulit
kita. Ten days without you was like hell! It was pure suffering. I couldn't eat or
sleep properly. I can't do anything properly."
"Everything's okay now, right? It will be different this time.." Halos namamaos
kong tanong. Unti unti siyang ngumiti sakin at tumango. Pero naglaho din agad ang
ngiti niya. His expression morphed into a worried one.
"But what about.. what about Drei?" Nagaalangan niyang tanong.
"We have Drei to thank for this. He opened up my mind. He set me free, Aaron."
Naiiyak kong sambit. Tila hindi siya makapaniwala, his mouth was slightly hanging
open.
"We should thank him after this. But first I need an assurance that you won't ever
leave me again." Makahulugang saad niya. Nagkunot noo ako ng lumayo siya sakin. He
headed towards his table and opened a drawer, when I saw him take out a small
square box, I teared up. I knew what was about to happen.
He knelt in front of me, the traditional kind of way. Nangingilid na talaga ang
luha ko wala pa man siyang sinasabi. He looks dashing to me.
"Cassidy Margaux Hurdiss, I know we've just made up and I'm probably too fast but
I've been in love with you for such a long time now. Our relationship may have its
ups and downs but I want you to know that I will never get tired of loving you.
We've weathered many trials along the way and I know that life as a married couple
won't be easy, but know that whatever happens I will never give up on you. Or leave
your side. I may not be the most suitable man for you but I'm trying my best to
improve so that I would be worthy of your love. I know that we've hurt each other
for countless of times already but you're right chief. One thing would always
remain constant. And that's our love for each other."
Waterfalls na ang mga mata ko ngayon, siya naman ay nakangiti lang habang
binubuksan ang kahita ng singsing.
"I'm sorry if I wasn't able to give you a surprise proposal just like what you see
in movies. But I promise you that if you say yes, then I will surprise you every
single day of the year until we grow old. I promise to love you unconditionally,
deeply, stupidly. I would tolerate all your whims, no matter how silly it may get.
I don't care if you throw tantrums at me when you're on your period. I won't mind
if you raise your eyebrow at me or roll your eyes when you're pissed off..."
The ring was sparkling under the lights of his office. Ang labo na ng paningin ko
dahil sa luha. Damn this stupid guy in front of me. Damn him for making me fall for
him this hard.
"Oh, damn you, you stupid billionaire!" Naiiyak na pinalo ko balikat niya. He gave
me a nervous smile.
"Please chief. Be this possessive billionaire's wife.."
It wasn't even a question. It was almost a request. But what the fuck? I love him,
and I won't let anyone come between us again.
"Yes, Aaron. I wanna be your wife." Mahina kong bulong. Nanlaki yung mata niya at
sinugod agad ako ng yakap. He was grinning like crazy. He kept on shouting. Ng
medyo huminahon siya ay siniil niya ako ng mabilis na halik bago isinoot sakin ang
singsing.
"God, thank you!" Tuwang sigaw niya bago ako niyakap uli. I wrapped my arms around
him too. It felt perfect and undeniably right. This is where I belong. In his arms.
Masuyong hinalikan ni Aaron ang ulo ko. "Uuwi si Dad dito sa Pilipinas. He said
he's excited to finally meet you and his three grandchildren."
Biglang nagkunot ang noo ko. Bahagya ko siyang tinulak at tinignan ng may halong
pagtataka. "Three grandchildren?! Hoy Aaron dalawa lang ang anak natin!"
Kumunot ang noo niya. "Dalawa lang? Weh?" Parang tanga to. Malamang pinagtitripan
niya na naman ako.
"Oo." Pagsakay ko naman. He then smirked at me. "Pano ba yan, nasabi ko na kay Dad
na tatlo ang apo niya. We should do something about that, don't you think?"
He winked seductively before bridging the gap between us. Napalunok ako. Oh, shit.
Unti unti niyang hinubad ang coat niya at bumagsak ito sa sahig.

Epilogue

Cassidy,
At first, I was doubtful to write this letter because I don't know if you will read
this or just put it in the trash, but I'm taking the risk anyway. I'm sorry. I'm
sorry for everything I've ever done to you and I'll understand if you won't ever
forgive but at least let me say just how immensely sorry I am for hurting you and
for making your life miserable.

Today, my doctor said that the cancer cells are spreading and it would take a
miracle for me to survive. I found out that I have cancer a year ago. I was a
wreck, I didn't know how to take it then. I had money and I could make anything
happen with a snap of my fingers but why? Why can't my money be enough to cure this
disease? I journeyed to different countries for treatment but nothing happened. And
now, I've already accepted my fate. If this is bound to happen then so be it. I
heard your voice in my head calling me a monster. And you're right. I need not deny
that.

I was't a husband to my wife and a father to you. I ruined your life because I was
blinded by revenge. I hated your father because he was my greatest opponent in
everything. He used to be my friend but envy clouded my vision. So, when he died I
decided to make a move. I married your mother so I can experience everything his
previous life has to offer. The luxury, the company, his family, everything. I know
you hate me but please let me tell you this. I loved your mother, too. I loved her
as jf she was the greatest thing in the world. But she died too. And I was left
empty. You reminded me of your father so I took all my anger and frustration out on
you. I'm sorry, my dear. For everything and I really mean this. If you're reading
this now, then it means that I've already passed away. Now, I am giving back what's
rightfully yours. The company, the house, your mom's properties in different
provinces. And oh, before I forget. My deepest apologies for selling you to Aaron.
He didn't want to buy you at first because he loved you too much to do that. He
said he won't do it because it just wasn't right. But I needed money that time so I
told him that if he won't buy you then I'm sure other businessmen will. And so he
was forced to do it.

I've always been a villain all my life, but in reality? I'm just a sick, greedy
cancer patient. I hope you could forgive me Cassidy. I know it's hard, but I hope
you will.

I closed my stepdad's letter. Ilang beses ko na itong paulit ulit na binasa at

iniyakan. A lawyer gave this to me a month ago, and I was shocked when I first read
it. Back then, I didn't know what to feel. But now I can feel the weight lifting.
Hindi na ako naiiyak ngayon ng binasa ko ito.

Sinindihan ko ang kandila at itinirik ito sa puntod niya. Bago ko siya pinuntahan
ay dinalaw ko rin muna ang puntod ni Mom at Dad.

I stared at Alvido's tombstone and gave it a small smile. "I forgive you." Mahinang
bulong ko na dinala ng hangin.

"Maam! Maam halina po kayo at malelate na tayo sa kasal niyo!" Sigaw ng driver ng
puting limousine. I gave Alvido one last look before heading back inside the bridal
car. Pinigilan ko ang mapaluha dahil sa pagdagsa ng mga emosyon. This is it. I'm
gonna marry Aaron.

I'm wearing a long traditional wedding gown. It was studded with swarovski crystals
and it's the most beautiful thing I laid my eyes on.

Napatingin ako sa labas at tinignan ang daang tinatahak namin. I remember Drei. The
last I saw him was two months ago. Ang sabi niya lalayo siya, pupunta siya ng
Laguna para hilumin ang sarili niya. I hope he's okay now.
Aaron moved me and the twins in his house and we're like a family. The kids miss
Drei but Aaron is filling up the gap and the twins are easing up with him. He is a
great father and I have no doubt that he'll be a wonderful husband too. Inaayos
niya na ang papeles para palitan ng Monteverde ang apelido ng kambal. We still
fight, I guess that's inevitable. But we're stronger now and we won't let anything
break us apart again.

Napahawak ako sa tiyan ko at napangiti. Aaron really is a sharp-shooter. In seven

months, magkakaroon na naman kami ng munting anghel ni Aaron.

"Andito na po tayo, Maam." Pinagbuksan niya ako ng pinto at dahan dahan akong
lumabas. Pinapwesto na ako sa bungad ng simbahan. In a matter of seconds ay
bubuksan na ang pinto para makapasok ako. I'll see my Aaron.

I counted slowly while my rapid heartbeat deafens me. I held the bouquet tightly.
Ninenerbyos ako kahit hindi ko alam kung anong dahilan. Ganito ba talaga kapag
ikakasal? But I'm undeniably happy right now.

The doors opened and I took in the wonderful view that lies ahead of me. Napatingin
ako sa Dad ni Aaron na siyang maghahatid sakin sa altar. He offered his arm and I
gladly looped mine on his. He patted my hand and chuckled as we slowy made our way
towards the altar.

"My son, you see, was extremely nervous a while ago. Akala ata ay hindi siya
sisiputin ng bride niya." Napangiti ako at huminga ng malalim. "Imposible pong
gawin ko yun. I am deeply smitten and I don't know if this love I have for him will
still vanish."

Inilibot ko ang mga mata ko at nakita sila Psyche, Theia at Christian. Namataan ko
ang ina ni Aaron and we smiled at each other. Aaron's college basketball team was
here. Pati ang mga kaibigan namin noong kolehiyo ay nandito. Nax was the bestman. I
saw Denver with his wife too. Si Aling Pacing at Mang Carding andito din. Didi is
here too, with her husband. At siyempre mawawala ba naman ang Breezy Boys. Gusto ko
na talagang maiyak, lalo na ng makita ko ang kambal kasama ni Manang na kumaway
sakin.

Xiana and Xander really look a lot like Aaron. I'm happy for having these wonderful
kids. Nakita ko na si Aaron. He looks serious but I caught a glimpse of his eyes.
He was tearing up. Nakatingin lang siya ng mataman sakin. Maya maya ay siniko siya
ni Nax at may inabot.

Panyo pala. Aaron accepted it and turned his back to wipe his tears. Umaalog-alog
pa ang balikat niya dulot ng pag-iyak.

Nais kong matawa sa kanya pero at the same time ay natatouch ako. My heart wants to
explode because of so much love for him. Ng sa wakas ay makarating na kami sa harap
ng altar ay ibinigay na ni Dad ang kamay ko kay Aaron.

His eyes were tinged with red and my heart swelled. I am in love with this man,
Lord. Thank you for giving me this guy. I can proudly say, he's the one.

"Thanks Dad." Madamdaming sabi ni Aaron sa ama niya, Dad clapped his back. "You're
getting married, son. Finally. Take good care of your wife."

"I will, Dad. I promise." Ngumiti ito at unti unting umatras. Aaron reached for my
hand and kissed it.

"I can't believe this. After this, it'll be official. You'll be Mrs. Cassidy
Margaux Hurdiss-Monteverde." I gave him a smile. Dahan dahan kaming humarap sa
altar.

Je vous mise en liberte, Cassidy. I heard Drei's voice in my head.

(I am setting you free, Cassidy) Napangiti akong muli. Thank you Drei. Thank you so
much.

Muling humarap si Aaron sakin at nakita ko na naman ang pagsungaw ng luha sa mata
niya. "Mahal na mahal kita. Even if the whole world turns against us, I will still
fight for you. My heart will only shout your name and that I promise you."

Hindi ko narin napigilan ang maluha. I smiled amidst the tears. "I love you Aaron
Ceyx."

"May nalaman ako kanina lang." Bulong niyang nagpaiba sa usapan.

"Ano?" I asked.

"Kaya pala hindi ka matunton ng mga private investigators na hinahire ko ay dahil

hinaharang ni Naxos lahat at tinatapatan ng mas malaking halaga. He wanted to teach
me a lesson, and he succeeded."

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at pinisil ito. "Do you hate him?"

He shook his head. "No, he's my friend. At tsaka, he did it for me. I understand
him. And it doesn't matter. This is what matters, you next to me looking smokin' in
your beautiful wedding gown." Pagpuri niya.

Tumango tango ako bago siya muling nginitian.

He looks really happy right now. Even though our relationship isn't perfect, we
still made it this far. And this wouldn't be the end of it. We will continue to
love each other until our hearts stop beating. Because love is beautiful like that.
It endures all pain and suffering. It is magical, and enchanting.

"Hindi ka pa nagrerespond sa i love you ko." Pagmamaktol ko bago tumingin na sa

pari.

Natatawang yumuko siya at bumulong sa tenga ko. "Love you back, Mrs. Monteverde."

THE END.

Special Chapter

This will be the only special chapter for this story. I missed Cassidy and Aaron
kaya eto. At sa mga nagtatanong, wala pong book 2 ito. Mahaba na kasi siya. Thank
you! :)
-
"Pink?" Gulat na tanong ko pagkakita ko sa kulay ng toenails ni Aaron. He pouted
like a kid and Daze grinned at me, showing her perfect set of pearly white teeth.
Binuhat ko ang four year old kong anak at yumakap siya sa leeg ko. Pinigilan kong
matawa ng muli kong tapunan ng tingin ang paa ng asawa ko.
Last week, his nail polish was purple. And the week before that, it was bloody red.
Sanay naman na siya sa pinaggagagawa sa kanya ng bunso namin eh. Sinasakyan niya pa
nga. And that's what makes him the best Dad in the world.
"Mommy, Kuya Zade doesn't want to watch Barbie with me. I told him that the movie
is good but he still doesn't want to. Even Kuya Xander doesn't want to watch
Barbie!" Nagtatampong sumbong sakin ni Daze. I smiled, her cuteness is overflowing!
I heard Aaron chuckle, kinuha niya sakin si Daze at kinandong ito. Tinabihan ko
silang dalawa sa couch. "Baby, only girls watch Barbie." He explained gently.
Nagcross arms si Daze. "But you watch Barbie with me, Daddy. And you're not a
girl." Natawa ako, Aaron ran out of answers so he just shrugged.
"Mommy! Kuya called me pangit again! I am not pangit! I am handsome like Daddy!"
Galit at namumula ang mukhang tumakbo pababa ng hagdan si Zade, our five year old
son. Lumapit siya sakin habang sumisinghot singhot pa.
"Mommy, I am not pangit right?"
"No, you're not pangit." I said to appease him. He squeezed himself in the space
between me and Aaron and scooted closer to his Dad.
"Your Kuya is just jealous because you're cuter than him. He doesn't have dimples
kasi." Nangingiting sabi ni Aaron. Nanatiling nakakunot ang noo ni Zade lalo na ng
makitang bumaba ang Kuya niya.
Kasunod ni Xander si Xiana at mukhang kakagising lang ng huli. Parang hindi ako
makapaniwala na halos ang laki na nila. Xiana is still the same jolly girl she was
back then. Xander grew a lot more like his Dad. Laging nakakunot ang noo, nakataas
ang kilay o nakafrown.
Ewan ko ba sa mag-ama ko kung bakit lagi silang nakasimangot na animo'y laging may
problema.
"Hey, pangit." Pang aasar ni Xander kay Zade. Zade stuck out his tongue. "Daddy
said you're jealous because you don't have dimples like me. You are not cute.
You're the one who's pangit!" Ganti nito sa kapatid.
"Dad, kung ano ano ang sinasabi mo dito sa ampon natin." Ngumisi si Xander.
"Daddy what is ampon?" Daze asked out of curiosity. Xander winked at Zade before
answering. "It's someone who's adopted."
Nanlaki ang mata ni Zade. "Is it true, Mommy? Am I adopted? Who are my real
parents? Where are they now? Why did you adopt me?" Zade was tearing up.
"No, no baby. Don't cry. Kuya was just joking." Pinandilatan ko si Xander at
binatukan ito ni Xiana.
"Ouch! Hey! Bakit ka nambabatok! Baka gusto mong sumbong kita na may crush ka na!"
Sigaw nito sa kakambal. Xiana's eyes widened.
Aaron frowned at the twins, his eyebrows were furrowed in all out seriousness.
Kapag ginagawa niya yan ay nakikita ko si Xander sa kanya. Manang mana talaga.
"Princess, you're only eleven years old. How come you already have a crush?"
Mahinahong tanong niya kay Xiana.
Xiana sat beside me and fidgeted with her fingers. "Eh, Dad. He's handsome kasi.
Plus he's smart and nice pa."
"Let me talk to that guy. Bring him here and we'll talk over dinner." Seryosong
sabi nito at sabay na nanlaki ang mata namin ni Xiana.
"Dad!" / "Aaron!" Sabay naming sigaw. Aaron looked at me innocently. "What?"
Xiana palmed her face and I glared at Aaron."It's just a crush for pete's sake.
It's normal. Hindi pa naman boyfriend ng anak mo."
Aaron sighed in defeat. "Tss, fine. Basta kapag may boyfriend ka na. Your Mom and I
should be the first to know, okay? And I'm just protecting you, sweetie. Guys are
assholes, you know?"
Napangisi ako ng sabihin ni Aaron ang huling linya. "Oh, I know." Sagot ko. He shot
me a death stare. "Excuse me?" Nakataas ang kilay niyang sabi kaya natawa ako.
"Kidding. Chill."
"I understand, Dad." Sabi ni Xiana and Aaron nodded.
"Handa na ang agahan." Tawag ni Manang mula sa kitchen. Daze and Zade ran to the
kitchen. Sumunod naman ang kambal. Inayos ko muna ang mga nagulong gamit sa sala na
dala ng kalikutan ng mga bata. I felt Aaron's arm encircle my waist. Napangiti ako.
I twisted so we would be face to face.
I was greeted by a huge smile on his face. "Hi. I'm in love with you." Sabi niya.
Kahit thirty three years old na ako ngayon ay hindi ko parin mapigilang kiligin sa
kanya. Five years of being married, and still deeply in love with each other. Alam
kong compared sa iba ay wala lang ang five years.
Pero samin hindi. It's five years of taking care of each other, five years of
falling over and over again, five years filled with love and happiness.
"Hello. I love you, too." I replied. Hinapit niya ako palapit at niyakap ako ng
mahigpit. We stayed like that for a while. I know he wants to kiss me so bad right
now and I do too but we can't. Daze might see us and freak out again. She gets
scared when she sees us kissing. She thinks her Dad is eating my lips.
So right now, we're settling for a hug. "I can't get enough of you, Mrs.
Monteverde." Bulong niya sa tenga ko. Bago pa ako makasagot ay biglang sumulpot si
Xander sa sala. He was frowning while looking at us and Aaron frowned back.
Hay, kahit kelan talaga tong dalawang ito. Always the frowners of the family. "Dad,
later na kayo maglandian ni Mom. Let's eat breakfast." Tapos bumalik na siya sa
dining room.
Aaron's eyebrows were still furrowed so I reached for it to uncrease it. "Kanino ba
nagmana ang batang yan at parang pinaglihi sa sama ng loob?" Tanong niya.
I laughed and shoved him aside. "Ang lakas din naman ng loob mong itanong yan ha."
Naiiling na inakbayan niya nalang ako at sabay kaming pumunta sa kusina.
-
"Kamusta na kaya si Drei no?" Bigla kong tanong kay Aaron. He shrugged while
combing his hair with his fingers.
"Simula kasi nung umalis siya para pumunta sa Laguna ay wala na uli akong narinig
mula sa kanya." Dagdag ko pa. Zade's second name is Andrei. We named him after Drei
para hindi namin siya makalimutan.
"I'm sure he's happy now." Was Aaron's answer. Nasa kwarto kami ngayon, I'm on my
silk night gown while he's wearing his underwear.
Umupo ako sa kama at sumandal sa headboard. I hugged my legs and watched Aaron turn
the television off. Tapos ay humarap siya sakin at ngumisi. I raised an eyebrow at
him. He gave me a playful wink and crawled towards me.
Hinila niya bigla ang paa ko at multik na akong tumili. He grinned at my reaction.
Lumapit siya sakin at hinila ako palapit sa kanya. His eyes were glassy. "Alone at
last." Bulong niya sakin gamit ang malamyos niyang boses. His voice was husky and
inviting and it turns me on.
He cupped my face and leaned forward. He kissed my forehead, then my eyes, next
comes my nose, then my cheeks. He kissed the space between my eyebrows, my nose
bridge and my chin. He's filling my face with butterfly kisses that makes my hurt
flutter inside my ribs.
"Cassidy.." His voice was laced with love, need and passion. I wrapped my arms
around his neck, I opened my eyes only to see him closing his. He dipped down again
and kissed my neck. My heart raced like runners on a marathon. It drummed and
thumped and beated like crazy.
His hands were caressing my back, my thighs, my stomach. He touched me on places I
would not name. His hands worked its magic. The straps of my night gown fell to my
shoulders and the cloth tumbled down on my delicate skin. My torso was exposed and
Aaron's deep breaths are doing little to calm my raging libido.
I can feel his manhood poking me. His hands kneaded my breasts and the next thing I
know is that his lips are sucking, biting and licking my crown. "Ahhhh." A moan
escaped my mouth and his soft fingers traced my lips. He raised his head again and
kissed my like there wouldn't be any tomorrow.
I placed my hand on the waistband of his underwear, and tugged at it. He chuckled
so softly that it sounded music to my ears. "My wife is impatient, isn't she?"
I didn't answer. My voice was caught up in this moment, I was rendered speechless
by the desire engulfing me. I leaned so I could kiss him with the same burning
intensity of his kisses but a loud knock and a small voice from outside the door
pulled me out of focus.
"Daddy! Mommy! I'm scared!" Daze squeaked outside. Aaron's jaw dropped and he
palmed his face.
"Bad timing, sweetie!" Sigaw niya habang mukhang hirap na hirap na tumingin sakin.
Nabitin. I looked at his boner and abruptly fixed myself. I gave him a swift kiss
before making my way towards the door.
His face fell. "You're gonna leave me like this?" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong niya
habang nakaupo parin sa kama.
I rolled my eyes. "Anong gusto mo, hayaan natin sa labas ang anak mo?" It took all
my will power to stand up from bed and walk away from him. I can feel the heat
coming from both of us and it's filling me with a whole new level of need.
Aaron groaned and looked at his weapon pitifully. He patted it and spoke. "Looks
like it'll be you and me in the bathroom tonight, big guy." Pagkausap niya rito.
Inikutan ko siya ng mata at kinuha niya ang boxer niya sa gilid ng kama bago
dumeretso sa cr.
I opened the door and saw Daze's face filled with tears. She was sucking her thumb
while hugging her teddy bear. Lumuhod ako para magkapantay kami, I wiped the tears
on her face and kissed her forehead.
"Why is Mommy's baby girl crying?" She hugged me and I carried her inside. Inilapag
ko siya sa kama naming mag-asawa.
"I think there is a mumu in my room. I'm scared Mommy." I tucked her in and smiled.
"There's no mumu. But you can sleep here with us tonight if it frightens you to be
alone."
"Do you promise to watch over me, Mommy?" I nodded and raised my right hand. "I
promise. Now, go to sleep baby."
She clutched her teddy bear towards her small body and closed her little eyes. I
watched over her until she fell asleep. Ng tulog na si Daze at naglakad ako papunta
sa banyo. Hindi pa lumalabas si Aaron.
I was about to knock when the door suddenly opened and I was pulled inside. Muntik
na akong mapatili. Aaron scooped me and set me down on the sink. His breathing was
labored.
Napansandal ako sa cabinet ng siilin niya ako ng halik. I wrapped my legs around
his waist and my eyes shot open when I felt the contact of our skin. It was
electrifying. He's no longer wearing his underwear. Bumaba ng bumaba ang halik
niya, I couldn't contain my moans anymore.
Inihiwalay niya ang hita ko at naramdaman ko nalang ang biglang pagpunit ng panty
ko. I looked at him with eyes wide open. "Sorry, chief. Don't worry. You married a
billionaire. Papalitan natin yan."
Hindi na ako nakaangal, because in one swift motion, he was already inside me. He
pounded fast and hard and I'm suddenly lost. He's bringing me in heaven and I could
see clouds and stars.
"Ohh. Ah, ah Aaron!" He kissed me to silence me. I broke the kiss and we were both
gasping. He was looking at me in the eyes while moving in and out of me. It feels
sinfully good.
His lips twisted into a sexy smile. "Magpapabili-Ahh-na ako ng wheelchair."
Naghahabol ng hiningang sabi niya.
"What? Shiiiit! Whhhy?" He quickened his pace and I was meeting his every thrust.
He buried his face on my neck and nipped it.
"Baka kasi pag natapos tayo dito, hindi ka makalakad bukas."
-
Daze's story is already posted. It's entitled OWNED BY A SPEED RACER. It would
really mean a lot to me if you guys check it out. Thank you for being such awesome
readers! Let us spread the love!

Author's Note

THANK YOU!
Thank you guys for reading and supporting my story. I am really overwhelmed and I
am eternally grateful for the support. I wasn't expecting good feedbacks either. I
never would've finished this story if it weren't for the people who inspired me to
update. My deepest gratitude to those who keep on voting and commenting. You guys
don't know how happy you've made me. I don't know if could ever thank you enough.
They are as follows:
ann2212
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And of course, to my ever supportive friend FatzXD
Magdededicate ako kapag nakapagweb na ako. :))) Random ang paglagay ko ng mention
dito, hindi porket unang nakamention sa taas ay siya yung pinakamaraming votes at
comments. Hindi, walang ganon. Random po. Random.
Kindly use the hashtag #OBABWP or #patyeah on twitter and insta so I can see your
feedbacks. :)
Drei's story: Crashing into Love
Alexander's story: The Fall of Alexander the Great
Daze's story: Owned by a speed racer
Zade's story: Love until it hurts
Alexiana's story: One Summer with the Sinner
Another story of mine, about faith and love: Heaven's Will
Hope to see you guys in my other stories! I'll miss Cassidy and Aaron too. But it's
time for them to say their goodbyes.

Merci beaucoup! Je t'aime sans coeur! ❤

****
"Literature is my utopia."
-Helen Keller.