I Lost You, but I Found Myself

By: Jen Dulay

(07-08-2020)

It hurts remembering every detail of every first. The first date, first kiss, first laugh, first connection. But
what I loved the most? I will remember them forever. I remember the first time seeing you and loving
your smile. I remember our first date being so genuine, we connected instantly. I remember getting
butterflies in my stomach each time I’d think of you. I remember every time we’d burst into laughter. I
remember our late night talks expressing our goals, insecurities, strengths, and weaknesses. I remember
holding you tightly and never wanting to let go. I remember kissing you and knowing I wouldn’t want
anyone else. I remember the way you took care of me when I was so tired and weak. I remember thinking
how our relationship was and thanking God for blessing me with someone like you. I remember looking
at you and knowing it would hurt so much when you leave.

Suddenly, I remember you being distant. I remember you looking at me differently. I remember you not
caring for me like you did before. I still remember the words you said when you didn’t want to be with
me anymore. I remember my thoughts, my tears, and my pain. I was so convinced I’d never find anyone
like you. I was so convinced you were the best God would ever give me. I was convinced you were meant
for me. It felt as if my heart was cut into pieces, bleeding out, weakening each second. I felt as if I were
dropped into a deep hole and the only person that could save me was you. How could you build me up
and tear me down? No one understood me the way you did. No one knew how I felt but you. The hardest
part was getting over you and learning how to be alone. Letting you go seemed impossible, but your
absence made me a better person. Your loss was my gain. I recognized what I had to offer and gave it to
myself. I realized I didn’t need anything but my own love to feel enough. It hurts to believe we’re
convinced someone is meant for us because it feels right. But at some point, we must remember someone
can only be in our lives for a certain season. We weren’t forever like I thought we’d be, but you were
definitely what I needed to become stronger. And until this day, I thank God for the experience and wish
you well.

COMMENTORS: WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU MAKE YOU STRONGER!!!!!! RAWRRRR :D