The Hajj Diaries – Journey of a Lifetime

Nov 09, 2013hotd2adminHajj1 Comment

Mina
This was our base in Mina for three days. Things were at their bare basics – we slept on foldable
cushions on the floor, 30 to a tent and had to use communal bathrooms some distance away. Men
and women were in separate quarters. There is no special ritual for Mina, the time was for
seclusion from the comforts of dunia, to reflect on oneself and to go back to the root of your
faith. This was my biggest challenge, to live with contentment in the discomfort, to mentally
block out all the clamour, laughter and chitchat of the surroundings and to establish a
relationship with Allah. I was told that if I cannot learn to focus on Allah here and now, then
how can I succeed in the real world where distractions are multiplied by hundreds? It was tough
at first but I learnt a few valuable lessons here about who I really am and what my deficiencies
are.

What Surrender Means

In Mina I learnt a valuable lesson about doubt. I was struck with a really tough calamity – one I
would have willingly given everything I owned in this world to solve. I made dua but to no avail,
for the situation was impossible. It was after a couple of days, when I had become as desperate as
a drowning person that I realised that I harboured doubts – I was using logic instead of faith, and
looking at the hopelessness of the situation instead of Allah’s infinite power to change any
condition. My tongue professed absolute submission but my heart held back. I still had
uncertainty! At that moment I realised the true power of surrender – to trust only Allah for help
and not listen to my fears or doubts. At that point of total submission, my dua crystallised into
reality, and the impossible became possible. This was the most important lesson I learnt during
hajj. Allah is the absolute Owner of all conditions, and it is not my money or intelligence that
solves problems, it is Allah an no one else. Surrendering to that is so beautiful and humbling!

Arafat and Muzdalifah

On the day before Eid, all pilgrims spent the daylight hours at Arafat. The purpose was to spend
some time with Allah, making dua, zikr and salat, for this was a day when Allah’s blessings and
forgiveness is abundant. How many minutes a day do we spend communicating with Allah? The
hours spent that day made me realise, not enough. After Maghrib everybody made their way to
Muzdalifah. Our group used the new Metro, others went on foot and buses. It was dark, and
teaming with people. 
It was confusing, chaotic and disorienting, but what about the Day of Judgment when the whole
of mankind would be resurrected? The night was spent in Muzdalifah – no tents or shelter this
time. Just you and the elements, and it brings to mind the horrors of life in the grave and the day
of resurrection where basically, each of us will be totally on our own.

Jamarat
When Ibrahim AS was asked to sacrifice his only son Ismail AS to Allah, Satan tried to cast
doubt into Ibrahim’s AS heart. Ibrahim AS responded by throwing some pebbles to Satan to cast
him off, and that is the occasion replicated at the Jamarat. After Muzdalifah, we went to Jamarat,
to cast pebbles at the pillars representing where Satan had stood and was humiliated. The area
itself has been refurbished and looks like a multilevel car park, to avoid the many fatal
stampedes that occurred in the past. The process is safe and quite easy. However the strength is
not in the aim, it is in the heart. Each stone cast was symbolic of our triumph against our inner
demons and doubts, of our victory against the devil and of our cleansing of major sins. We threw
seven on one pillar on the first day, and repeated the process on all three pillars on the following
two days. When the first pillar was completed there was cheer all round. Eid had arrived!

The Finish Line!

If anyone had told me five years ago that I would be here, taking my final steps before the
completion of my hajj, I would have laughed. Yet, Allah has given me so many second chances
in life, and it only increases my love for Him. The sequence works differently depending on
circumstances, so for me the last step was tawaf and saiee after we had completed the final
Jamarat. My clothes were drenched with perspiration, my feet were blistered from the long
walks; and I was exhausted by the exertion and sleep deprivation. Yet, the closer I got to my
personal finish line the more exhilarated I felt. Just a bit more, just a bit more … The swelling
crowds around the Kabah and the discomfort of each step was nothing compared to the tortures
of jahannam that I would be spared. And then, there it was, the final stop, completing my final
saiee at the mount of Marwah. My hajj was complete and if accepted by Allah I would be
cleansed of all previous sins. My heart was a whirlwind of emotions. I have arrived, I have just
begun. This is the start of many new beginnings, Insha’Allah.

Farewell
Saying goodbye to the Kabah during the farewell tawaf was heartbreaking, it was like saying
goodbye to a loved one, uncertain if you will ever see that person again. Just like life in general
everything is over in the blink of an eye. In a few hours I will be back into my daily routine. My
challenge now is to stay afloat, hold on to the rope of Allah and not let myself to be drowned by
dunia again. I came here to serve Allah, and I can only hope and pray that Allah was happy with
my service.

The test of whether hajj has been accepted is evidenced by the behaviour of a person when he
returns. So, the spiritual journey continues until we die.

Thank you so much for all your wonderful dua for me. Even though I am not able to respond
personally, I did make a personal and special dua for you, and Allah will know who you are even
if I don’t.

As a final note, this was an experience of a lifetime and I hope that those who haven’t already,
will make the journey there too. May Allah bless all the HOTD members and unite us all.
Ameen.