Stress Management PART ONE

You might also like

Download as pdf or txt
Download as pdf or txt
You are on page 1of 79

STRESS

MANAGEMENT
A daily workout.

firststepcounselingonline2013 1
Introduction:
Stress Management at ZenSpot is a comprehensive

firststepcounselingonline2013 2
firststepcounselingonline2013 3
IMPACT OF STRESS
•BODY •MIND
HASTY
HEADACES DECISIONS
FREQUENT MUDDLED
INFECTIONS THINKING
IMPAIRED
TAUT JUDGEMENT
MUSCLES NEGATIVITY
FATIQUE NIGHTMARES
BREATHLESSNESS ACCIDENT
WORRYING
PRONE
LOSS OF LOSS OF
CONFIDENCE WO
APPETITE
IRRITABILITY LOSS OF SEX
DEPRESSION DRIVE
APATHY DRINKING &
ALIENATION SMOKING
•EMOTIONS MORE •BEHAVIOR
INSOMIA

firststepcounselingonline2013 4
firststepcounselingonline2013 5
firststepcounselingonline2013 6
firststepcounselingonline2013 7
Recognizing the causes of stress.
◦ Modern life is full of hassles, deadlines, frustrations, and demands. For many people,
stress is so common place that it has become a way of life. Stress isn’t always bad. In
small doses, it can help you perform under pressure and motivate you to do your best.
But when you’re constantly running in emergency mode, your mind and body pay the
price. You can protect yourself by recognizing the signs and symptoms of stress and
taking steps to reduce its harmful effects.
◦ Stress is a normal physical response to events that make you feel threatened or upset
your balance in some way. When you sense danger—whether it’s real or imagined—
the body's defenses kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the
“fight-or-flight” reaction, or the stress response.

firststepcounselingonline2013 8
◦ The stress response also helps you rise to meet challenges. Stress is what keeps you on
your toes during a presentation at work, sharpens your concentration when you’re
attempting the game-winning free throw, or drives you to study for an exam when
you'd rather be watching TV. But beyond a certain point, stress stops being helpful and
starts causing major damage to your health, your mood, your productivity, your
relationships, and your quality of life.
◦ When you perceive a threat, your nervous system responds by releasing a flood of stress
hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones rouse the body for
emergency action.
◦ Your heart pounds faster, muscles tighten, blood pressure rises, breath quickens, and
your senses become sharper. These physical changes increase your strength and
stamina, speed your reaction time, and enhance your focus—preparing you to either
fight or flee from the danger at hand.

firststepcounselingonline2013 9
Genetics
◦ Each of us have our own DNA stress responders. Some of us have more intense responses
than other people. The researchers estimate that genetic effects are responsible for 32% of
the person-to-person variance in job stress, 35% of the variance in job satisfaction and 47% of
the variance in health problems. The findings, which were published in the journal
Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, seem to suggest a new twist on the
old nature-versus-nurture question: What's more important for stress, the day-to-day work
environment (the "nurture" side, in this case) or the inborn personality of the employee?
◦ Simon Rego, an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Albert
Einstein College of Medicine in New York, says it's important to remember that genes, though
influential, don't control us.
◦ Someone who's genetically more vulnerable to workplace stress won't necessarily get
stressed out. In fact, Rego says, stress often arises when our temperament and our
environment clash. "We look at the interaction between predisposition and some
sort of stressor to really activate someone's vulnerability," he says. If you are
predisposed to stress -- due to your genes, life experiences, or some combination of the two
-- the good news is there are steps you can take to fight back.

firststepcounselingonline2013 10
TRAIT STRESSORS
◦ State anxiety is identified as an unpleasant emotional stimulation that occurs when a person is comes
into contact with frightening stressors or dangers. Trait anxiety, which signifies a person's continual
tendency to react with state anxiety, because they're persistently expecting bad circumstances to
transpire. This habit can be acquired from your caregiver as a young child or just living in a family unit
where trait anxiety is prevalent.
◦ Different personality traits can create greater levels of stress. Different stress relief techniques can also be
more effective with those with particular personality factors. Learn more about how perfectionism, Type
A traits, and other personality factors interact with stress, and how you can relieve stress more effectively.
◦ Find Out What Type of Personality You Have
Knowing how different personality traits can impact stress levels, many people wonder, “What type of
personality do I have?” and how these traits may be affecting stress levels. The following stress quizzes
and assessments can help you to better understand yourself and your relationship with stress, and find
resources for effective stress management

firststepcounselingonline2013 11
◦ Perfectionist Traits: Do These Sound Familiar?
If you’re wondering whether or not you’re a perfectionist, there’s a good chance you
are one, at least to a degree. (And if you’re thinking that you have to have every
perfectionist trait to qualify, there’s another clue!) Perfectionists are a lot like high
achievers, but with some key differences.

firststepcounselingonline2013 12

Personality Test
•You are almost never late for your appointments
YES NO
•You like to be engaged in an active and fast-paced job
YES NO
•You enjoy having a wide circle of acquaintances
YES NO
•You feel involved when watching TV soaps
YES NO
•You are usually the first to react to a sudden event, such as
the telephone ringing or unexpected question
YES NO
•You are more interested in a general idea than in the details of its realization
YES NO

firststepcounselingonline2013 13
Test cont.
•You tend to be unbiased even if this might endanger
your good relations with people
YES NO

•Strict observance of the established rules is likely to prevent a good outcome


YES NO

•It's difficult to get you excited


YES NO

•It is in your nature to assume responsibility


YES NO

•You often think about humankind and its destiny


YES NO

firststepcounselingonline2013 14
Test cont.
•You believe the best decision is one that can be easily changed
YES NO

•Objective criticism is always useful in any activity


YES NO

•You prefer to act immediately rather than speculate


about various options
YES NO

•You trust reason rather than feelings


YES NO

•You are inclined to rely more on improvisation


than on prior planning
YES NO

firststepcounselingonline2013 15
Test cont.
•You spend your leisure time actively socializing
with a group of people, attending parties, shopping, etc.
YES NO

•You usually plan your actions in advance


YES NO

•Your actions are frequently influenced by emotions


YES NO

•You are a person somewhat reserved and distant in communication


YES NO

firststepcounselingonline2013 16
Test cont.
•You know how to put every minute of your
time to good purpose
YES NO

•You readily help people while asking nothing in return


YES NO

•You often contemplate the complexity of life


YES NO

•After prolonged socializing you feel you need


to get away and be alone
YES NO

firststepcounselingonline2013 17
Test cont.
•You often do jobs in a hurry
YES NO

•You easily see the general principle behind


specific occurrences
YES NO

•You frequently and easily express your feelings and emotions


YES NO

•You find it difficult to speak loudly


YES NO

•You get bored if you have to read theoretical books


YES NO

firststepcounselingonline2013 18
Test cont.
•You tend to sympathize with other people
YES NO

•You value justice higher than mercy


YES NO

•You rapidly get involved in the social life


of a new workplace
YES NO

•The more people with whom you speak, the better you feel
YES NO

•You tend to rely on your experience rather than


on theoretical alternatives
YES NO

firststepcounselingonline2013 19
Test cont.
•You like to keep a check on how things
are progressing
YES NO
•You easily empathize with the concerns of other people
YES NO
•You often prefer to read a book than go to a party
YES NO
•You enjoy being at the center of events in which
other people are directly involved
YES NO
•You are more inclined to experiment than
to follow familiar approaches
YES NO

firststepcounselingonline2013 20
Test cont.
•You avoid being bound by obligations
YES NO

•You are strongly touched by stories about people's troubles


YES NO

•Deadlines seem to you to be of relative, rather than absolute, importance


YES NO

•You prefer to isolate yourself from outside noises


YES NO

•It's essential for you to try things with your own hands
YES NO

firststepcounselingonline2013 21
Test cont.
•Failing to complete your task on time makes you rather uncomfortable
YES NO

•You take pleasure in putting things in order


YES NO

•You feel at ease in a crowd


YES NO

•You have good control over your desires and temptations


YES NO

•You easily understand new theoretical principles


YES NO

firststepcounselingonline2013 22
Test cont.
•The process of searching for a solution is more
important to you than the solution itself
YES NO

•You usually place yourself nearer to the side


than in the center of a room
YES NO

•When solving a problem you would rather follow


a familiar approach than seek a new one
YES NO

•You try to stand firmly by your principles


YES NO

firststepcounselingonline2013 23
Test cont.
•A thirst for adventure is close to your heart
YES NO

•You prefer meeting in small groups over interaction


with lots of people
YES NO

•When considering a situation you pay more attention to


the current situation and less to a possible sequence of events
YES NO

•When solving a problem you consider the rational approach to be the best
YES NO

•You find it difficult to talk about your feelings


YES NO

firststepcounselingonline2013 24
Test cont.
•You often spend time thinking of how things
could be improved
YES NO

•Your decisions are based more on the feelings


of a moment than on the thorough planning
YES NO

•You prefer to spend your leisure time alone


or relaxing in a tranquil atmosphere
YES NO

•You feel more comfortable sticking to


conventional ways
YES NO

firststepcounselingonline2013 25
Test cont.
◦ You are easily affected by strong emotions
YES NO
•You are always looking for opportunities
YES NO
•Your desk, workbench, etc. is usually neat and orderly
YES NO
•As a rule, current preoccupations worry
you more than your future plans
YES NO
•You get pleasure from solitary walks
YES NO
•It is easy for you to communicate in social situations
YES NO
•You are consistent in your habits
YES NO

firststepcounselingonline2013 26
◦ You willingly involve yourself in matters
which engage your sympathies
YES NO

◦ You easily perceive various ways


in which events could develop
YES NO
YOUR AGE:_________ GENDER:__________

firststepcounselingonline2013 27
How do I get my score?
◦ This test is based on Carl Jung’s and Isabel Briggs Myers’ typological approach to
personality *.
◦ Upon completion of the questionnaire, you will:
◦ Instructions: When responding to the statements, of the two responses please choose
the one you agree with most. If you are not sure how to answer, make your choice
based on your most typical response or feeling in the given situation. To get a reliable
result, please respond to all questions.
◦ Get your test scored by going to www.hrpersonality.com. There is a cost to
score the test. This gives you an exact computerized score.
◦ For an educational guess score, e-mail answers to eva_Gregory@ymail.com
and we will give you an answer in 7 days as to personality type at no charge.

firststepcounselingonline2013 28
What influences your stress?
◦ Things that influence your stress tolerance level
◦ Your support network – A strong network of supportive friends and family members is an
enormous buffer against life’s stressors. On the flip side, the more lonely and isolated
you are, the greater your vulnerability to stress.
◦ Your sense of control – If you have confidence in yourself and your ability to influence
events and persevere through challenges, it’s easier to take stress in stride. People who
are vulnerable to stress tend to feel like things are out of their control.
◦ Your attitude and outlook – Stress-hardy people have an optimistic attitude. They tend
to embrace challenges, have a strong sense of humor, accept that change is a part of
life, and believe in a higher power or purpose.

firststepcounselingonline2013 29
Stress influences…
◦ Your ability to deal with your emotions – You’re extremely vulnerable to stress if you
don’t know how to calm and soothe yourself when you’re feeling sad, angry, or afraid.
The ability to bring your emotions into balance helps you bounce back from adversity.
◦ Your knowledge and preparation – The more you know about a stressful situation,
including how long it will last and what to expect, the easier it is to cope. For example,
if you go into surgery with a realistic picture of what to expect post-op, a painful
recovery will be less traumatic than if you were expecting to bounce back
immediately.

firststepcounselingonline2013 30
Know yourself in order to recognize
your stress levels.
◦ It’s important to learn how to recognize when your stress levels are out of control. The most
dangerous thing about stress is how easily it can creep up on you. You get used to it. It starts
to feels familiar even normal. You don’t notice how much it’s affecting you, even as it takes
a heavy toll.
The signs and symptoms of stress overload can be almost anything. Stress affects the mind,
body, and behavior in many ways, and everyone experiences stress differently.
◦ Stress doesn’t always look stressful.
◦ I am going to give you a driving analogy to “see” your stress:
◦ Foot on the gas – An angry or agitated stress response. You’re heated, keyed up, overly
emotional, and unable to sit still.
◦ Foot on the brake – A withdrawn or depressed stress response. You shut down, space out,
and show very little energy or emotion.
◦ Foot on both – A tense and frozen stress response. You “freeze” under pressure and can’t do
anything. You look paralyzed, but under the surface you’re extremely agitated.
◦ This is signs and symptoms of your stress on overload.

firststepcounselingonline2013 31
The following table lists some of the common warning signs and symptoms of stress. The
more signs and symptoms you notice in yourself, the closer you may be to stress
overload.
COGNITIVE SYMPTOMS EMOTIONAL SYMPTOMS

MEMORY PROBLEMS MOODY

INABILITY TO CONSENTRATE IRRITABILITY/SHORT TEMPER

POOR JUDGEMENT INABILITY TO RELAX

SEEING ONLY NEGATIVE FEELINGS OF OVERWHELMED

ANXIOUS/RACING THOUGHTS LONELY, ISOLATED

CONSTANT WORRYING DEPRESSION AND ANGER

firststepcounselingonline2013 32
Physical & Behavioral Symptoms
Physical Symptoms Behavioral Symptoms
Aches/Pains Eating more or less
Diarrhea or constipation Sleeping too much or too little
Nausea, dizziness Isolating yourself from others
Chest pain, rapid heart beat Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities
Loss of sex drive Using alcohol or drugs to relax-smoking
more, or start smoking cigarettes
Frequent colds Nervous habits (nail biting, pacing,
twitching)

firststepcounselingonline2013 33
How much stress is too much?
◦ Keep in mind that the signs and symptoms of stress can also be caused by other
psychological and medical problems. If you’re experiencing any of the warning signs
of stress, it’s important to see a doctor for a full evaluation. Your doctor can help you
determine whether or not your symptoms are stress-related.
◦ How much stress is too much?
◦ Because of the widespread damage stress can cause, it’s important to know your own
limit. But just how much stress is “too much” differs from person to person. Some people
roll with the punches, while others crumble at the slightest obstacle or frustration. Some
people even seem to thrive on the excitement and challenge of a high-stress lifestyle.
◦ Your ability to tolerate stress depends on many factors, including the quality of your
relationships, your general outlook on life, your emotional intelligence, and genetics.

firststepcounselingonline2013 34
General Outlook on Life
◦ There is a lot of components to General Outlook of a person’s personality. We will
discuss under Personal Productive Skills:
◦ Simple Techniques to Manage Stress
◦ Simple Techniques to Time Management
◦ Time Management
◦ Self Mastery
◦ Inside Out
◦ Mindset, Perception, Stinking Thinking

firststepcounselingonline2013 35
Simple Tips to Start Cutting Stress
◦ There are lots of things people can do to cut down on stress. Most people probably even
know what they could do. It's not the lack of knowing what to do in order to cut down stress;
it is doing what you know you have to do. The following techniques are geared to help you
do what you know you have to do.
◦ Talk to someone. You don't have to fix the problem, just report it.
◦ Notice if any of the muscles in your body are tense. Just noticing that will often relax the
muscle.
◦ Ask your boss if you're doing OK. This simple question can make a lot of difference and verify
wrong impressions.
◦ Delegate.
◦ If you take on a technique to manage stress, tell someone else. They can help you be
accountable to them and yourself.
◦ Cut down on caffeine and sweets. Take a walk instead. Tell someone that you're going to
do that.

firststepcounselingonline2013 36
Tips to cut stress, cont.
◦ Use basic techniques of planning, problem solving and decision making.
◦ Concise guidelines are included in this guidebook. Tell someone that you're going to
use these techniques.
◦ Monitor the number of hours that you work in a week. Tell your boss, family and/or
friends how many hours that you are working.
◦ Write weekly status reports. Include what you've accomplished last week and plan to
do next week. Include any current issues or recommendations that you must report to
your boss. Give the written status report to your boss on a weekly basis.
◦ "Wash the dishes". Do something you can feel good about

firststepcounselingonline2013 37
Simple Techniques for Time
Management
◦ There never seems to be enough time in the roles of management and supervision.
Therefore, the goal of time management should not be to find more time. The goal is set a
reasonable amount of time to spend on these roles and then use that time wisely.
◦ Start with the simple techniques of stress management above.
◦ Managing time takes practice. Practice asking yourself this question throughout the day: "Is
this what I want or need to be doing right now?" If yes, then keep doing it.
◦ Find some way to realistically and practically analyze your time. Logging your time for a
week in 15-minute intervals is not that hard and does not take up that much time. Do it for a
week and review your results.
◦ Do a "to do" list for your day. Do it at the end of the previous day. Mark items as "A" and "B" in
priority. Set aside two hours right away each day to do the important "A" items and then do
the "B" items in the afternoon. Let your answering machine take your calls during your "A"
time.
◦ At the end of your day, spend five minutes cleaning up your space. Use this time, too, to
organize your space, including your desktop. That'll give you a clean start for the next day.

firststepcounselingonline2013 38
Time Management
◦ Learn the difference between "Where can I help?" and "Where am I really needed?"
Experienced leaders learn that the last question is much more important than the former.
◦ Learn the difference between "Do I need to do this now?" and "Do I need to do this at all?"
Experienced leaders learn how to quickly answer this question when faced with a new task.
◦ Delegate. Delegation shows up as a frequent suggestion in this guide because it is one of
the most important skills for a leader to have. Effective delegation will free up a great deal of
time for you.
◦ If you are CEO in a corporation, then ask your Board for help. They are responsible to
supervise you, as a CEO. Although the Board should not be micro-managing you, that is,
involved in the day-to-day activities of the corporation, they still might have some ideas to
help you with your time management. Remember, too, that good time management
comes from good planning, and the Board is responsible to oversee development of major
plans. Thus, the Board may be able to help you by doing a better themselves in their
responsibilities as planners for the organization.
◦ Use a "Do Not Disturb" sign! During the early part of the day, when you're attending to your
important items (your "A" list), hang this sign on the doorknob outside your door.

firststepcounselingonline2013 39
Time Management
◦ Sort your mail into categories including "read now", "handle now" and "read later". You'll
quickly get a knack for sorting through your mail. You'll also notice that much of what you
think you need to read later wasn't really all that important anyway.
◦ Read your mail at the same time each day. That way, you'll likely get to your mail on a
regular basis and won't become distracted into any certain piece of mail that ends up
taking too much of your time.
◦ Have a place for everything and put everything in its place. That way, you'll know where to
find it when you need it. Another important outcome is that your people will see that you are
somewhat organized, rather than out of control.
◦ Best suggestion for saving time - schedule 10 minutes to do nothing. That time can be used
to just sit and clear your mind. You'll end up thinking more clearly, resulting in more time in
your day. The best outcome of this practice is that it reminds you that you're not a slave to a
clock - and that if you take 10 minutes out of your day, you and your organization won't fall
apart.
◦ Learn good meeting management skills. Meetings can become a terrible waste of time.
Guidelines for good meeting management are included later in this section.

firststepcounselingonline2013 40
Warning--This is a faith-based lesson for STRESS
RECOVERY.
◦ This lesson is based on Scripture from the Holy Bible. This is from the King James edition.
◦ Christian rehab programs invite both those people who have accepted Jesus Christ as their
savior, as well as those looking for answers to their stressful life and interested in getting
healed through the love of God.
◦ Any journey to recovery begins with an acceptance that without God's wisdom, strength
and love, that we have no chance. Let go and let God...He will show us the path and He will
give us the strength to walk it! Don't worry anymore, believe in Him, and get better!
◦ Humility means admitting to the Lord that you cannot get better without His help. It means
not worrying about what others may say about your recovery, and it means the end of
denial. Real humility ...
◦ THE STRESS FACTOR IS IN AN INDIVIDUAL’S SPIRITUAL AREA. THERE IS WHERE
THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM BEGINS, THEREFORE, WE WILL START WITH THE
ROOT (SPIRITUAL AREA) FIRST.
◦ If you are completing an online class and this material offends your faith, you are excused
from this class.

2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 41


Major Causes of Workplace Stress
◦ Not knowing what you want or if you're getting it - poor planning.
◦ The feeling that there's too much to do. One can have this feeling even if there's hardly
anything to do at all.
◦ Not enjoying your job. This can be caused by lots of things, for example, not knowing
what you want, not eating well, etc. However, most people always blame their jobs.
◦ Conflicting demands on the job.
◦ Insufficient resources to do the job.6. Not feeling appreciated

firststepcounselingonline2013 42
◦ In today’s world it is virtually impossible to avoid stress. Almost everyone is carrying some
amount of it, in varying degrees. Many find it increasingly difficult to simply survive in the
world we live in. In desperation, people are seeking relief for their problems through any
remedy they can find. Our culture is inundated with self-help books, therapists, time-
management workshops, massage parlors, and recovery programs (to name just the
tip of the iceberg). Everyone talks about returning to a “simpler” way of life, but no one
seems to even know exactly what that means, or how to attain it. Many of us cry out
like Job: “The churning inside me never stops; days of suffering confront me.” (Job
30:27).

firststepcounselingonline2013 43
◦ Most of us are so used to carrying the burden of stress, we can scarcely imagine our
lives without it. We think it is simply an unavoidable part of living in the world. We carry it
like a hiker trudging out of the Grand Canyon with a huge pack on his back. The pack
seems to be a part of his own weight, and he can’t even remember what it was ever
like to not be carrying it. It seems that his legs have always been that heavy and his
back has always ached under all that weight. Only when he stops to rest for a moment
and takes off his pack does he realize just how heavy it really is, and how light and free
he is without it.

firststepcounselingonline2013 44
◦ Unfortunately, most of us cannot just unload stress like a backpack. It seems to be
intrinsically woven into the very fabric of our lives. It lurks somewhere beneath our skin
(usually in a knot between our shoulder blades). It keeps us up late into the night, just
when we need sleep the most. It presses in on us from all sides. Yet, Jesus says, “Come
to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke
upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest
for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Mt. 11:28-30). Those words
have touched the hearts of many, yet they are only words that merely sound
comforting and are in essence, worthless, unless they are true. If they are true, how can
we apply them to our lives and walk free from the burdens that weigh us down so
badly? Perhaps you are responding, “I would love do that if only I knew how!” How can
we receive rest for our souls?

firststepcounselingonline2013 45
◦ The first thing we must do to be free from our stress and our worry is to come unto Jesus.
Without Him, our life has no real purpose or depth. We simply run from one activity to
another, seeking to fill our lives with purpose, peace, and happiness. “All man’s efforts are for
his mouth, yet his appetite is never satisfied” (Ecclesiastes 6:7). Things haven’t changed
much since the days of King Solomon. We work ourselves to the bone for the things we
desire, only to crave more.
◦ If we do not know our real purpose in life; our reason for existing, life is very meaningless
indeed. Yet, God created each of us with a special purpose in mind. There is something that
needs to be done on this earth that can only be done by you. Much of the stress that we
carry springs from the fact that we don’t know who we are or where we are going. Even
Christians who know that ultimately they are going to heaven when they die, are still anxious
in this lifetime because they do not really know who they are in Christ and who Christ is in
them. No matter who we are, we are bound to have tribulation in this life. It is unavoidable,
but having trouble in this life is not the issue anyway. The real issue is how we react to it. That
is where stress is born. The trials we face in this world will either break us or make us strong.

firststepcounselingonline2013 46
◦ “I will show you who he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them in
to practice. He is like a man building a house who dug down deep and laid the
foundation on rock. When a flood came the torrents struck that house but could not
shake it because it was well built” (Luke 6:48). Jesus didn’t say that once we built our
house on the rock that everything would be perfect. No, He said that a flood came in
torrents smashing against the house. The key is that the house was built on the rock of
Jesus, and the rock of putting His words into practice. Is your house built on Jesus? Did
you dig your foundation deep into Him, or was the house hastily erected? Is your
salvation based on a prayer you prayed once or is it growing out of a committed
relationship to Him? Do you come to Him every day, every hour? Are you putting His
words into practice in your life, or do they lie there like dormant seed?

firststepcounselingonline2013 47
◦ Until you have fully committed yourself to God, until your foundation is dug deep into
Him, you will never be able to discern what His perfect will is for your life. When the
storms of life come, as they are bound to do, you will only worry and fret and walk
around with an ache in your back. Who we are under pressure reveals who we really
are. The storms of life wash away the thin veneer that we present to the world and
expose what lies in our heart. God, in His mercy, allows the storms to hit us so we will
turn to Him and be cleansed of the sin that we were never able to perceive in times of
ease. We can either turn to Him and receive a soft heart in the midst of all our trials, or
we can turn away and harden our heart. The hard times in life will either make us
pliable and merciful, full of faith in God, or angry and brittle, full of doubt and unbelief.

firststepcounselingonline2013 48
◦ “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31). Ultimately, there are only two
motivating factors in life: fear or faith. Until we truly know that God is for us, loves us,
cares about us personally and hasn’t forgotten us, we will base our life’s decisions on
fear. All fear and worry stems from a lack of faith in God. You may not think you are
walking in fear, but if you aren’t walking in faith, you are. Stress is a form of fear. Worry is
a form of fear. Worldly ambition is rooted in a fear of being overlooked–of being a
failure. Many relationships are based on the fear of being alone. Vanity is based on a
fear of being unattractive and unloved. Greed is based on a fear of poverty. Even
anger and rage are based on the fear that there is no justice, no escape, no hope.
Fear breeds selfishness, which is the exact opposite of God’s character. Selfishness
breeds pride and indifference to others. All of these are sin and must be dealt with
accordingly. Stress arises when we try to serve both ourselves (our fears), and God at
the same time (which is impossible to do). “Unless the Lord builds the house, it’s builders
labor in vain…In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat” (Psalm
127:1-2).

firststepcounselingonline2013 49
◦ The Bible says that when everything else is stripped away, only three things remain:
faith, hope, and love–and that love is the greatest of the three. Love is the force that
drives out our fear. “There is no fear in love but perfect love drives out fear, for fear has
a torment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18). The only way
we can get rid of our anxieties is to look them in the eye and deal with them at the
root. If we desire for God to make us perfect in love, we will have to repent of every bit
of fear and worry that we have clung to instead of Him. We may not like to face some
of those things that are in us, but we must if we are ever to be free from them. If we are
not merciless with our sin, it will be merciless on us. It will drive us like the most wicked of
slave masters. Worst of all, it will keep us from communion with God.

firststepcounselingonline2013 50
◦ Jesus said in Matthew 13:22, “The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns
is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth
choke it, making it unfruitful.” It is extraordinary what tremendous power there is in even
the littlest things to distract us from God. We must stand our ground, and refuse to let
the thorns choke out the seed of the Word. The devil knows that if he can distract us
with all the cares of this world, we will never be a threat to him or fulfill the call that is on
each our lives. We will never bear any fruit for the kingdom of God. We will fall far
below God’s intended place for us. Yet, God wants to help us to do our best in every
situation that we face. That is all He asks–that we trust in Him, put Him first, and do the
best we can. After all, most other circumstances that we worry about are beyond our
control anyway. What a waste of time worrying is! If we only worried about the things
that we have any direct control over, we would reduce our worrying by 90%!

firststepcounselingonline2013 51
◦ Paraphrasing the Lord’s words in Luke 10:41-42, Jesus is saying to each one of us, “You
are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Choose what is
better and it will not be taken from you.” Isn’t it wonderful that the only thing that
cannot ever be taken from us, is the only thing we really need anyway? Choose to sit
at the Lord’s feet and listen to His words and learn from Him. By so doing, you are
putting a deposit of true riches into your heart, if you guard those words and put them
into practice. If you are not daily spending time with Him and reading His Word, you are
opening the door of your heart to the birds of the air who will steal the seeds of life
deposited there, and leave worry in their place. As for our material needs, they will be
taken care of when we seek Jesus first

firststepcounselingonline2013 52
◦ When all is said and done, there are still times when we all face incredibly difficult
circumstances that have an awesome power to destroy us. The best way to
counteract stress in those times, is to begin to praise God and thank Him for His
countless blessings in our lives. The old adage “count your blessings” really is true. In
spite of everything, there are so many blessings woven throughout our lives that many
of us do not even have the eyes to see them. Even if your situation seems hopeless,
God is still worthy of all your praise. God delights in a heart that will praise Him no
matter what the bankbook says, our family says, our time schedule says, or any other
circumstance that would try to exalt itself against the knowledge of God. As we praise
and bless the name of the Most High, everything else in this world begins to pale and
fade away against the sheer loveliness of who He is.

firststepcounselingonline2013 53
◦ Think of Paul and Silas, feet bound in stocks in a dark prison with a jailer standing guard
over them. (Acts 16:22-40). They had just been severely flogged, ridiculed and
attacked by a huge crowd of people. Instead of fearing for their lives, or becoming
angry at God, they began to praise Him, singing out loud, careless of who might hear
or judge them. As they began to praise Him, their hearts were soon overflowing with the
joy of the Lord. The song of those two men who loved God more than life itself began
to flow through them like a river of liquid love into their cell and out into the entire
prison. Soon, there was a flood of warm light bathing the whole place. Every demon
there began to flee in utter terror of that praise and love to the Most High. Suddenly, an
amazing thing happened. A violent earthquake shook the prison, the doors flew open,
and everybody’s chains came loose! Praise God! Praise always brings freedom, not
only for ourselves, but for those around us who are bound up as well.

firststepcounselingonline2013 54
◦ We must get our mind off of ourselves and the problems we face and onto the King of
Kings and the Lord of Lords. One of the miracles of a life transformed by God is that we
can be thankful always, and praise Him in all situations. This is what He commands us to
do, for He knows better than we do that the joy of the Lord is our strength. God does
not owe us anything, but He has made a way for us to receive every good thing
anyway, because He loves us! Is that not a reason for celebration and thanksgiving?
◦ Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are
no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I
will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes
my feet like the feet of a deer and enables me to go on the heights.
Habakkuk 3:17-19

firststepcounselingonline2013 55
2/5/2011
Barriers to the “New” Creature
• To defeat the laws of Self-mastery:
– Pride
– Overly Intelligent
– Desire to look Smart
– Need to avoid challenges

HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 56


Self-Mastery HOW AN INDIVIDUAL OBSERVES LEARNING,
SOCIAL EXPERIENCE AND RECIPROCAL DETERMINISM IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF
PERSONALITY. (Albert Bandure, `1977, 1995).

◦ All people can identify goals they want to accomplish, things they would like to change, and
things they would like to achieve. However, most people realize that putting these plans into
action is not quite so simple. An individual’s self-efficacy plays a major role in how goals, tasks,
and challenges are approached. The influence of an individual’s relationship with God and
knowledge of God’s will, plan and purpose for their life has an overwhelming affect. Psalm
127:1, unless the lord build the house they labor in vain that built it. Individuals desiring to
accomplish their goals must labor and put all their skill and strength into it; however, remember if
that is not God’s plan, purpose and will, their designs will prove failures.

2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 57


Role of Self-Efficacy
◦ Individuals with a strong sense of self-efficacy:
◦ View challenging problems as tasks to be mastered.
◦ Develop deeper interest in the activities in which they participate.
◦ Form a stronger sense of commitment to their interests and activities.
◦ Recover quickly from setbacks and disappointments.
◦ Individuals with a weak sense of self-efficacy:
◦ Avoid challenging tasks.
◦ Believe that difficult tasks and situations are beyond their capabilities.
◦ Focus on personal failings and negative outcomes.
◦ Quickly lose confidence in personal abilities.

2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 58


MY CROSS OVER
◦ I WILL ARISE FROM THE
CIRCUMSTANCES THAT HAVE KEPT
ME --- I WILL ARISE TO A NEW LIFE! I
SHINE (AM RADIANT WITH THE
GLORY OF THE LORD, FOR MY LIGHT
HAS COME, AND THE GLORY OF THE
LORD HAS RISEN UPON ME!
◦ ISAIAH 60;1

2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 59


Day 8

The “Grasshopper’ Mentality

◦ The “grasshopper’ mentality might sound a ◦ The longer they focused on their
little strange to you, but thoughts which go opposition, the bigger their
with it are not foreign. Thoughts are: :I feel opposition became. Soon, their
small,’ “I feel inferior,’ “My opposition is huge,” faith in the God who had brought
“My problems are bigger than me,” “I am not up for them out of the bondage of Egypt
the challenge.” was swallowed up. With it, went
their ability to believe they could
◦ In Numbers 13, Moses sent out twelve spies to indeed conquer and possess the
bring back a report on the land God had already land.
promised to them. Ten spies returned with an evil ◦ Others saw them the way they saw
report. They said, ‘We saw the giants in the land themselves.
and we became like grasshoppers in our own sight,
and so we were like grasshoppers in their sight.”
Listen to their report! They became in others’
minds what they were in their own minds.

2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 60


MINDSET
DRINKING
AND
DRUGS, CRIME
family Relationship
Conflicts,
ENRAGED
work with GOD
ANGER.
I
bills IMPUSIVE
BEHAVIOR

2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 61


Definition of Mindset:
◦ Mentality: a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will
interpret and respond to situations.
◦ In decision, theory and general systems theory, a mindset is a set of assumptions,
methods or notations held by one or more people to create new behavior or to
accept prior behavior.

2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 62


HOLISTIC LEARNING

2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 63


YOUR HUMAN IDENTITIES CREATE
YOUR REALITY.
◦ Thoughts = feelings
◦ Feelings = action
◦ Actions = habits
◦ Habits = beliefs
◦ Beliefs = similar beliefs
◦ Thoughts + feelings + actions + beliefs + habits = DESTINY.
◦ DESTINY
◦ CHAOS *********************** PEACE

2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 64


+
◦ Similar

Does figure 1 show a snake that


YOUR EXPECTATIONS?
swallowed an elephant?

2/5/2011
PERCEPTION Does figure 1 show a man’s hat?
HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 65
From the LITTLE PRINCE,
IT IS NOT OUR FEET THAT MOVE US ALONG—
IT IS OUR MINDS.
Ancient Chinese proverb.
PROVERBS 23:7, “AS A MAN THINKS, SO IS
HE.”
2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 66
Change it Today! Meditation:
◦ 1. We are royalty! When you know you are in God’s royal family, you will no longer feel
inferior or think like a grasshopper. We have received the gift of righteousness (2 Corinthians
5:210, therefore we are kings.
◦ 2. We live life from HIS position and HIS seat. Ephesians 2:6 says, “He raised us up with
him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places, in Christ Jesus.
◦ 3. We are made in HIS image. Genesis 1:26 says we are made in the very image and likeness
of God.
◦ 4. We are not judged by man. This does not mean we avoid accountability or responsibility,
but it means we are inferior to no one. Colossians 2:16, Let no man therefore judge you.
◦ 5. We are masters over our life. Romans 6:14, for sin shall not be master over you. Luke
10:19 says we have authority over all the power of the enemy, so the devil is not our master.
◦ 1 John 4:17, As HE is, so also are we in this world.

2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 67


2/5/2011
Mental Attitude = Mindset
◦ Mindset is the fixed mental attitude or disposition that predetermines a person’s
responses to and interpretations of situations. Behind every action is a thought and

HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED!


behind every thought is a belief. To make a change the individual needs to attack the
problem at one of these three points. The most obvious place to start is the thought.
It is by the daily practical training of your mind that you can encourage good thoughts
and actions to arise. Watch your mind always very carefully. Be vigilant. Be on the
alert. Do not allow waves of irritability, jealousy, anger, hatred, lust to arise from the
mind. If you place a big mirror in front of a dog and keep some bread in front, the dog
at once barks at its reflection in the mirror. It foolishly imagines that there is another
dog. Even so, man sees his own reflection only through his mind-mirror in all the
people but foolishly imagines like the dog that they are all different from him and fights
on account of hatred and jealousy.

68
Day 9
“What’s wrong with me?”

◦ Have you ever thought this? Sure you have. Who hasn’t? We all have our bouts with sin-consciousness--
-a haunting awareness of all we do wrong and all that is wrong about us. The first problem with this
thinking is it is “me –centered” and not “Jesus-centered.” It is selfish. We are called to look to Him, “the
author and finisher of our faith.” Hebrews 12:2.
◦ God instructs us to look up†, not look within.
◦ “What’s wrong with me?” breeds perfectionism, self-centeredness, obsessive introspection, and condemnation of
our flaws and shortcomings.
◦ We need to admit our mistakes and weaknesses and receive God’s forgiveness and strength. But don’t make this
your focus in life.
◦ We are going to crush this thinking today!
◦ It starts with developing a “righteous-consciousness” rather than a “sin-consciousness.” The constant
awareness of our “falling short” is where the devil and religion want us to live. This keeps us defeated
and limited; hemmed in by our human nature, rather than liberated through our divine nature.
◦ 2 Peter 1:4 says through His promises, we share in the divine nature of God and escape the corruption
that is in the world through lust.

2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 69


Day 10 “That’s just the way I am.”
◦ Self-defeating behavior:
◦ These ways of thinking and behaving have over time become
subconscious habits.
◦ They are learned traits and defense mechanisms we have used
to deal with uncomfortable people and situations.
◦ These negative traits help us to avoid responsibility or to escape unpleasant
emotional feelings.
◦ One of the things which limits and keeps us defeated is the opinion we have of ourselves. Over
time, what other people think, what they say about us begins to shape our view of ourselves and
what we are capable of accomplishing. People’s opinions will condition us to live up—or down—to
their expectations.

2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 70


“Don’t get your hopes up.” Day 11

◦ Thought patterns shape our expectations and our actions.


Like a magnet, our thought life
“attracts” the things which fill our mind.

Today’s thought, “don’t get your hopes


up,” has subtly found its way into our
heads. We have been trained by
doubt and unbelief to lower our
expectations and to brace ourselves
for the status quo.
Proverbs 13:12, “Hope deferred makes
the heart sick.”

2/5/2011
Hope is a healer of the heart.
HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 71
Day 12

“”I’m not smart enough.”

◦ This deceptive mindset permeates our thinking and keeps us limited in what we can do and
what influence we can have. It is another tool the devil uses to try and make us fee inferior.
◦ This world’s system is designed to make us feel like we don’t know enough about what’s going
on, so we will be dependent on the information they provide.
◦ Think about this: if you are born-again, you are brilliant! The Bible says you have the mind
of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16). His mind is far smarter than the smartest business
professionals, educators, politicians, and newsmakers combined. And now, you have HIS
MIND in you!
◦ Power Thought for Today
◦ I am made in HIS image and am filled with HIS intelligence, HIS brilliance, and
HIS understanding.

2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 72


Day 13
“I was mistreated.” “If someone
would give me a break, I could make it
too.”
◦ The “Victim” mentality
◦ Today, we are fasting from a “victim” mentality. Too many people live under the mental
attacks which say, “It’s someone else’s fault.” “My family is poor.”, “I could not go to
college.” “I live in a drug infested neighborhood.”
◦ Viktor Frankl, who survived a Nazi death camp at Auschwitz, defined ultimate freedom as “the
ability to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
◦ His parents, wife and children were shot in front of him. His body was used for medical
experiments. He stated that he still had the freedom to choose how he responded to the
guards. He had a degree in Neurology and psychiatry from the University of Vienna. He
wrote Man’s Search for meaning. (1993).

2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 73


◦ Per Frankl, “life is temporary, yet each life is unique. Live as if you were living for the second time and
had acted out the current situation.”
◦ Life, then, is a journey that reflects the experience of time. For life to have meaning, it must offer the
experience of transcendence. Frankl points out the life can be made meaningful by what we give
creation; what we take from the world in the terms of our experience and by the attitude we choose
toward suffering.
◦ A victim mentality is a thought that cripples our ability to grow and strips us of the power God
has given us to live victoriously.
◦ Deuteronomy 30:15,19 says, “See, I have set before you today life and prosperity, death and
adversity…So choose life that you and your descendants might LIVE.
◦ John 16;7 says the holy Spirit is “Our helper”! Ask the Holy Spirit to help you.
◦ POWER THOUGHT FOR TODAY
◦ I will not waiver, give up, or quit until God-ordained opportunities come to me!

2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 74


Day 14
“It’s no use.” “I might as well give up.” “It just doesn’t work for
me.’

We “dis-ease’ ourselves with defeatist thinking.


Winners don’t think like this.
People don’t want this kind of spirit around them.
CHANGE IT TODAY

1. Get into a partnership with God. Psalm 124:2 says that the Lord is on your
side!
2. Recognize the problem exists for you to conquer. Numbers 13:30 says, “We
should by all means go up and possess the land, and conquer it.”
(paraphrased). Find the “means.” Find the source of the problem and
conquer it!
3. Get understanding. Proverbs 3:15 says, “She (understanding) is more
precious than jewels; and nothing you desire compares to her.”
Evaluate what you have and put it to good use!
2/5/2011 HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! 75
Power thought for Today!
2/5/2011
Mind Plays Games With You.
◦ The mind will encourage you to respond to your negative thoughts. The mind wants
always to be doing something. A play at cards has nothing in it but the attachment and

HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED!


attention that gives pleasure. Your mind from infancy has fallen into the pernicious
habit of seeking pleasure outwardly and it shall ever persist in doing so, unless you give
it something superior to be amused with, a greater form of pleasure or delight.

76
2/5/2011
Perception
◦ An individual views the world from a subjective frame of reference, an orientation
known as phenomenological. It is phenomenological in that it pays attention to the

HE WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED!


individual way in which people perceive their world. * This “subjective reality” includes
the individual’s beliefs, views, perceptions, and conclusions. Behavior is understood
from the vantage point of people’s cognitive perspective. People can be understood
by seeing through the “spectacles” by which they view themselves in relationship to
the world.
◦ *Adler, A. (1958). What Life should mean to you. New York: Capricorn.

77
CITATIONS
◦ Grant, N., Wardle, J., & Steptoe, A. (2009). The relationship between life satisfaction
◦ and health behavior: A cross-cultural analysis of young adults. International
◦ Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 16, 259–268.
◦ Grzywacz, J. G., Arcury, T. A., Márin, A., Carrillo, L., Burke, B., Coates, M. L., et al.
◦ (2007). Work-family conflict: Experiences and health implications among
◦ immigrant Latinos. Journal of Applied Psychology, 92, 1119–1130
◦ Health Magazine 2011
◦ Rivastava, A., Locke, E. A., Judge, T. A., & Adams, J. W. (2010). Core self-evaluations
◦ as causes of satisfaction: The mediating role of seeking task complexity. Journal
◦ of Vocational Behavior, 77, 255–265.
◦ Swann, W. B., Jr., Chang-Schneider, C., & McClarty, K. (2007). Do our self views matter?
◦ Self-concept and self-esteem in everyday life. American
◦ Psychologist, 62, 84–94.

firststepcounselingonline2013 78
CITATIONS
◦ Takano, A., Arakawa, R., Hayashi, M., Takahashi, H., Ito, H., & Suhara, T. (2007).
◦ Relationship between neuroticism personality trait and serotonin transporter
◦ binding. Biological Psychiatry, 62, 588–592.
◦ Tanaka, J. S. (1993). Multifaceted conceptions of fit in structural equation models. In
◦ K. A. Bollen & J. S. Long (Eds.), Testing structural equation models (pp. 10–40).
◦ London, UK: Sage.
◦ Tsaousis, I., Nikolaou, I., Serdaris, N., & Judge, T. A. (2007). Do core self-evaluations
◦ moderate the relationship between subjective well-being and physical and
◦ psychological health? Personality and Individual Differences, 42, 1441–1452.
◦ Turkheimer, E. (2000). Three laws of behavior genetics and what they mean. Current
◦ Directions in Psychological Science, 9, 160–164.
◦ Uher, R., & McGuffin, P. (2010). The moderation by the serotonin transporter gene of
◦ environmental adversity in the etiology of depression: 2009 update. Molecular
◦ Psychiatry, 15, 18–22

firststepcounselingonline2013 79

You might also like