Did You Ever Go to P.S. 43? by Micheal Schulman
SHE:
Twice a week | come here after work and | have just
one hour to calm myself before going to the shrink.
All | want to do is read my book and relax so | can
make a good appearance. And every goddamn time
either some creep tries to pick me up with some
stupid line or some nut comes over with some kind
of bullshit trying to get a rise out of me. On Monday
it was a big guy with a suitcase and a Texas accent
who asks me if | want to see his large snake. I
figured it’s just some creep who on his first day in
town wants to give a city girl a thrill by pulling his
pants down in front of her. But I’m not so lucky.
No, this is a super creep who is not into
euphemisms. This nut opens his suitcase, pulls out
a boa constrictor, and puts it right down in my lap.
Dolores is friendly, he says. She only wants to hug,
he says. Crazies! Nuts! Oh and last Friday it was a
baldheaded fag who wanted to show off his new
dentures to me. This creep kept taking his teeth out
of his mouth and snapping them in my face. In his
mouth; in my face. Then this prunefaced queen asks
me if | think the pretty young boys will like him
better if he takes his teeth out of his mouth when he
gives them...Ech! | don’t even want to think about it.
Crazies! Creeps! They all come to the park, and they
all come to my bench.ROSE:
That's right. Life is life and no goddamn French-
man ever made a movie about that! Sure, any old
actress can make you feel sorry for her in a movie.
Easy as pie!_And when she’s finished work, she can
‘go home to her big fat mansion and climb into her
big fat bed that’s twice the size of my bedroom, for
Chrissake! But the rest of us, when we get up in the
morning... Silence. When I wake up in the
morning, he’s lying there staring at me... Waiting.
Every morning, [ open my eyes and there he is,
waiting! Every night, I get into bed and there he is,
waiting! He's always there, always after me, always
hanging over me like a vulture. Goddamn sex! It's
never that way in the movies, Oh no, in the
movies it's always fun! Besides, who cares about a
woman who's gotta spend her life with a pig just
“cause she said yes to him once? Well, I'm telling
you, no fucking movie was ever this sad. Because
a movie don’t last a lifetime! Silence. Why did I
ever do it? Why? I should have said no. I should have
yelled it at the top of my lungs and been an old maid
instead. At least I'd have had some peace. I was so
ignorant in those days. Christ, I didn’t know what I
was in for. All could think of was “the Holy State
of Matrimony!” You gotta be stupid to bring up your
kids like that, knowing nothing. You gotta be so
stupid! I tell you one thing, My Carmen won't get
caught like that, Because me, I've been telling her
for years what men are really worth, She won't be
able to say I didn’t war her! On the verge of tears.
She won't end up like me, forty-four years old, with
4 two year old kid and another oné on the way, with
a stupid slob of a husband who can't understand a
thing, who demands his “rights” at least twice a day,
three hundred and sixty-five days of the year. When
you get to be forty and you realize you've got
nothing behind you and nothing in front of you, it
makes you want to dump the whole thing and start all
over, But a woman can’t do that... A woman gets
grabbed by the throat and she’s gotta stay that way
right to the endA GIRL'S GUIDE TO CHAOS by Cynthia Heimel
RITA I want a real man. Tall, broad, handsome,
well-fixed, and horny. Do you know what it
feels like to have a man say to you, "I want
you to take your clothes off right now and fuck
my brains out," and really mean it? It feels
like becoming the first female major league
pitcher. It feels like singing a duet with
Aretha Franklin.
Do. you know how long it's been since someone
made a pass at me? Maybe two years. .
Sure I have dates. Attractive, although
skittish dates who are entertaining and
charming and invariably fade into a taxi at the
end of an evening. I thought maybe I was just
putting out weird vibes, you know, intimidating
these sweet and precious little New York
heterosexuals.
But everywhere I go I hear the same story from
girls, the gist of which is, "Who do you have
to know to get laid around here?" After all,
we've all been smacked in the face by the
eighties, everybody's concerned with status and
money and being on the top of the heap. There
is mass performance anxiety running amok in
> the brains of men. They think they have to be
the best. They think they have to write War and
Peace with their dicks.ZARA SPOOK AND OTHER LURES
by Joan Ackermann-Blount
‘Ramona - 30s - Southwest - Present
‘Ramona is Mel's estranged wife. Besides discussing her rather
dangerous husband, her life's passion is fishing. While
Participating in a fishing tournament, Ramona is bitten ty
rattlesnake that she suspects was placed in her boat by Mel.
‘While waiting for help to arrive, she discusses Mel's inability to
‘express emotions.
RAMONA: That's what I'm trying to tell you. ‘The man has good
hands. If only he could have talked t me. I mean, I had
‘cryosurgery on my cervix afier a bad pap smear? And he couldn't
‘say one word to me about it, Not one related word. ‘He waited out
in the parking lot, I got in the ear and the first thing he said afer ten
minutes driving home was he didn’t know why everybody
complained so much about the new Coca-Cola formula he lized it,
(EVELYN: He likes the new Coca-Cola formula?
RAMONA: He had a nephew Hardy, favorite nephew, loved him
like a son, he died, drowned in less than two feet of water, drunk as
4 skunk, He was s0 busted up inside you could hear the pieces
break apart. Think we could sit around and cry together, share
memories, visit with Hardy's folks? “That man sat for two days in
his truck, parked up on the mesa, wouldn't eat, wouldn't ‘alk,
wouldn't go to the funeral or the cook-out.
TEVELYN: Must have hurt something awful]
RAMONA: TI slept out in the back of the truck, waiting for him to
come and talk to me. Saw three UFOs. Neatly froze to death, He
‘ever came back, never said a word about it, Listen to this. I had
an affair with someone, told him about it, he just stood there and
Stared at me, stared like I wasn’t even there, like I'd evaporated. I
ould see my reflection in his eyes. The opposite of tears,
6
ZORA NEALE HURSTON
by Laurence Holder
Zora Neale Hurston - 40s-60s - Bus Station, NY - 1950s
Zora Neale Hurston introduces herself to the audience
‘outspoken black writer who has studied with Alain and
collaborated with Langston Hughes. She has fallod on bed
times, but doesn’t seem full of regret as she
childhood and early education.
ZORA: My Gawd! Look at this place. Sop old dumpy looking
bus station, They calls this a waiting it they couldn't mean
it. W's dreary, dirty. And to think, T i
big time. ‘Books lining bookshelves
high.
But that was a long time
Boca Raton. That's in Florida. 1
not looking forward to visitors ri
been in it up to my elbows a
people's inhumanity. How
hhe knows all there is
with that ticket clerk.
‘Now this man ¢ going to give me a hard time because he
. Now I'm heading back to
ld tell you where itis, but I'm
in through here. Imean, Thave
Tecan tell you a thing or two about
a man look at someone and decide
that person. Like just a moment ago
can’t find where and/what time for the bus to Boca Raton. He's
searching and ct and I sympathize with him, it being Christmas
Eve and all, but even that isn't my fault, He's testy when he finally
finds it in his bldck book, and shen he tells me it's $29.25. 1 only
got 29 dollars,/ Period. He swears that I got to pay the whole fare
or his ma and union's gonna come down here and declare
‘wat againstne. Mel Zora Neale Hurston, a woman who has never
cowtailed fo anybody, anyplace, anywhere, T may look like a waif,
but I hayé walked with kings and queens. I was the queen of the
Har issance,
Hato te hs tps cl
that yicket. (Music—Flute)
1 was always the sassy girl from de muck, de basin, de
nWOMAN FROM THE TOWN
by Samm-Art Williams
Laura - 47 - North Carolina - December 22-25, Present
‘Laura is 4 determined woman who has devoted her life to
‘Working the family farm. Her sister, Lila, has returned to the
farm at Christmas for a visit and Laura reveals her resentment
(Of Lila’s choice to live inthe city by reminding her that she has
spent her life behind « plow and battling the banks with no
thanks from her family.
LAURA: My sister Lila's still got nerves made out of cast iron.
Walking up the road like the conquering hero come home, Never
thought she'd do it. Coming home with a bastard young'n, (She
Grosses SR onto porch t0 SR porch railing and looks at the fieds.)
Well, they won't find a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, Just
buckets of my sweat out there in them fields. Foot bs fll of my
tears when they all started leaving and...dying out. (She crosses 10
‘SL on porch.) So don't come back here bringing me no sympathy
cards. (She throws the letter on the floor SL of porch steps.) Dist
under my fingernails. Hands with rope marks on them...ffom
plowing. “Combines taking over everything. Folks selling out.
‘Banks taking over what the big combines don’t want. (She crosses
40 rocker and sits.) Choking the small farmer, Turning us into farm
hhouse dinosaurs. State Governor lies so bad I don’t know if it come
natural or he tained for it. Governor made me destroy my
television the other night. I threw a hammer through the screen
‘ying to hit him. Told us he wanted to help the ones in need. Soon
as T heard the lie...I killed by television. But he kept right on
talking. (Looking SL at Lila and Risa.) 1 didn’t piek you up from
the bus station. “That ought to tell you how bad T want you back
here. (She stands looking SL.) You waited too long, Lila. It's too
year. The Wilson sisters. (She hums "Silent Night, Holy Nigh")
Tt would take you to fuck up my
. (Laura closes her eyes and rocks.)
72
WOMAN FROM THE TOWN
by Samm-Art Williams
Laura - 47 ~ North Carolina - December 22-25, Present
Here, Laura mourns the loss of her femininity. Years of hard
work on the farm have taken their toll on her body - but not on
her spirit.
LAURA: I wish I could love you, sister. But I spent too many days
shelling peas, feeding hogs, chopping cotion, and plowing. Plowing
and walking them long hot rows for so long that sometimes I thought
Twas a mule. Just me and my boy. (Replaces picture on table.)
Lila, she’s living the high life. I look at my hands sometimes and
T want to just seream. Underneath these calluses are soft, warm
hhands that need to be held. Scars and scratches on arms that need
to embrace, There's a woman inside these overalls. (Rises,) A
Woman-no, a lady, damn itl!_ (Works area.) Working! Chopping!
Plowing! Pulling! Pulling! Gee to the left mule! Haw to the right!
‘New giddy-up! Giddy-up, I say. Got to stay straight between the
tow. Dirt in my shoes. Hot sun burning and blistering skin that
should be smooth as brown satin. Screams and screeches that should
be soft blues notes played by my hands. Would you like to waltz,
Laura? Certainly, Sir. (Picks up Lila’s scarf and dances a little.)
My perfume? I'm glad you like it. Waiter, champagne for my
lass. Hell, Ican dream, can't 1? Because there’s a lady underneath
these overalls..a lady that I'l never find again,WEDDING RINGS HAVE TO BE SOLD
Serious
‘Oh, what a beautiful morning, isn’t it? Now, let me see, they're
right in here. 1 wrapped them in tissue paper. There! A wedding
‘band and an engagement ring. Aren't they beautiful? They're my
mother's. She never wears them much anymore. Dad died ten
years ago and she’s frightened of losing them, New? What do you
‘mean, new? How can yon tell a new diamond from an old onc?
‘Oh, you mean the settings look new. I can see you're an exper.
‘They are. Around five years old, Silly, isn’t it, my pretending
they're my mother’s. T mean, why should you care who they
belong to, you're only interested in the diamonds. You see—
they're mine, as a matter of fact. I don’t know why I didn’t tcl you
that in the fist place. I have some debts and need the money. T hate
to part with them, My husband died a year ago and I need the
‘money to pay some bills. You know how they pile up—so—1
thought { would sell—these. I think you will find they are excellent
diamonds, I'm afraid Jim spoiled me, Nothing was too much for
me then. [remember when he bought me my engagement ring. It
was—I think I'd better not talk about it. Oh, no, No. T do wan! to
sell them, As I said, Tneed the money. I don’t need the money and
you know it [sce that you are looking at my pearls and, [can tell
‘you know they are very expensive. You see—Jim gave me the
pearson our first anniversary. But, of course, that doesn’t concern
you, now does it? You're only interested in the quality of the
Stones. And they are good, aren’t they? Jim was always a generous
man. As I said, he gave me everything I wanted. As a matter of
fact, he still does. Guilt, T suppose. Why he has to be guilty, 1
really don't know. It wasn't totally his fault, yet, T still can’t
understand—(SITE laughs.) Do you know, this is worse than
seeing a psychiatrist for the first time. As you can gather, my
‘husband is not dead. In fact, he's very much alive. I don’t know
why I'm making up all these lies. 3 really very foolish of me.
2
‘Why should you care ifthe rings are mine and that I don’t need the
‘money? Or if my husband is dead or alive? Or if I divorced him, or
if be divorced me? Or even if we were happy—which we were. 1
know you're only interested in making some money, But—I can’t
tell you how terrible itis for me to see you handle my rings in such
a dispassionate way, calculating how much they are worth. And
really—what are they worth? You can't tell me. Five years I wore
them and I have such sweet memories of what we shared with each
cther. I designed the wedding band myself. Jim was so proud of
me. He had the jeweler copy my plans exactly. He kept bringing
them back, telling him it wasn’t right. The poor man sighed with
relief when it was all over. And the engagement ring, did you
notice the setting? We argued about that for days. Jim was
frightened that it was too fragile and that someday T would lose the
stone. Well, he was right about that, wasn't he—in a way. Oh, yes,
'm quite certain I want to sell them, You see—I can't—bear—to
ook at them anymore. So, what is it going to be? I want a good
‘price, How much are they worth?
BSophistry
Jonathan Mare Sherman
Rom» young woman delving the vledcion speech at har commencement, 20
‘eos: New England olege campus, 1850
"5 lin ae ore tat st ert yas san nde
oO o oO
Ros: When | was alte git 1 was so confident and certain, daydreaming
in my suburban ilinois bedroom, all rice and safe and clean and fly. My
‘parents, who are here right now—wave tothe crows, folks. Points) That's
them, They used to make me settle fights with my playmates. They'd call
them debates; but don't let that fool you. They were fights. Beat) This.
__ Schools administrators recently paid an enormous sum of money to settle,
7o keep a former professor from taking them to court to challenge a deci
“sion they made. This doesn't fel like a figit, or a debate—not realy. This
feels like-comptomise. This feels..very Hollow What is this supposed to
‘mean tous, as we're about to graduate from this place, with diplomas from
‘an institution that teling us to settle? (Beat, Iknow that eventually, when
Understanding runs out, there is a need for judgment, but whois qualified
to judge? And who is quaiied to judge who is qualified to judge? Who
pick the judges? Who decides that is okay—to sete? (eat, Everybody in
‘my hometown was shocked when I chose this place, but they shouldn't have
been, Martha Graham danced here. | used to envision myselt—secrety, of