SETTING EXPECTATIONS

Dentist Story

• My dentist was doing a “routine cleaning” but didn’t say

a word…

• The whole time I was panic mode:

• “Is that going to hurt?”

• “Is my mouth suppose to feel like this?”

• “Wait is that a drill?!”

Fear comes from the unknown.
So when you clear up the unknowns ahead of time, people have nothing
to be afraid off and will feel like they can trust you more.
Dentist Story

• Dentist: This is going to hurt for a second but don’t

worry.

• Dentist: It’s going to feel a little slimy on your gums but

that’s normal. It should only last for 30 seconds.

• Dentist: Don’t worry, I’m not going to drill your teeth.

We’re just going do a deep cleaning for your teeth. It
shouldn’t hurt, but if it does, let me know.
By setting expectations you are not only making a person’s fear go away…
You’re also in control of the conversation while making the other
person feel like they are in control.
This is called perceived control.
In every conversation where you’re goal is to persuade with words,
there’s always an opportunity to set expectations
at the beginning of the conversation.
But let’s first break down exactly what it means to set expectations.
BREAKING DOWN SETTING EXPECTATIONS
If your goal is to influence someone to take an action, understand that
you will accept a “Yes” or “No” but never a “Maybe”.
 Setting Expectations Guidelines

• Time & Purpose for the Conversation

• Other Persons’ Expectations & Agenda

• Your Expectations & Agenda

• Conclusion of Conversation

• Challenges & Obstacles

Sales Example
 Time & Purpose

• Make clear how long the conversation will take

• Explain the purpose for the conversation

• Example 1: I wanted to talk for a quick 10 minutes to see if it would make sense
to work together. Is that okay with you?
 Other Person’s Expectations & Agenda

• Make it clear you empathize with the other persons’ situation and that you want
to address their main points of interest (context is key)

• Example 1: Of course you’re going to have some questions for me and how our
services might be able to help you grow your business. I’ll do my best to answer
any questions you may have.
 Your Expectations & Agenda

• Explain what your expectations are for the conversation and what you want

• Example 1: And naturally, I’ll have some questions for you so I can get a better
understanding of how I can best help you.
 Conclusion of Conversation

• What you want to happen at the end of the conversation

• Example 1: At the end of our meeting, either 1 of 2 things will happen. If we find
it doesn’t make sense to work together that’s totally fine and we’ll both just move
on. But if there is a fit, we can spend the end of the conversation working on the
next steps to move forward. Does that sound good to you?
 Challenges & Obstacles

• Bring up any challenges you foresee and address them head on

• Example 1: Now a lot of people tell me they’re interested, but after the first
meeting, they stop replying to my email and disappear from the face of the earth.
So if you’re not interested in my services, I want you to know that you can tell me
“No” at any time. Does that sound fair?
 Setting Expectations Example 1

• Time & Purpose: I wanted to talk for a quick 10 minutes to see if it would make sense to work
together. Is that okay with you?

• Other Persons’ Expectations: Of course you’re going to have some questions for me and how our
services might be able to help you grow your business. I’ll do my best to answer any questions you
may have.

• Your Expectations: And naturally, I’ll have some questions for you so I can get a better
understanding of how I can best help you.

• Conclusion of Conversation: At the end of our meeting, either 1 of 2 things will happen. If we find it
doesn’t make sense to work together that’s totally fine and we’ll both just move on. But if there is a fit,
we can spend the end of the conversation working on the next steps to move forward. Does that
sound good to you?

• Challenge & Obstacles: Now a lot of people tell me they’re interested, but after the first meeting,
they stop replying to my email and disappear from the face of the earth. So if you’re not interested in
my services, I want you to know that you can tell me “No” at any time. Does that sound fair?
 Setting Expectations Example 2

• Time & Purpose: Hey, I get the feeling I did something that upset you. Is it okay if we
took 5 minutes to about what’s going on?

• Other Persons’ Expectations: I’m not exactly sure what I did to make you feel this
way, but I’ll do my best to listen what you have to say.

• Your Expectations: And after you tell me what I did, I’ll do what I can to make sure
that doesn’t happen again and improve as a person.

• Conclusion of Conversation: And hopefully after we both get everything off our chest,
I hope we can move forward from this.

• Challenge & Obstacles: I know sometimes when we have these type of conversations,
we get off track and bring up other issues that aren’t related to this specific situation.
So if that happens, I’m going to bring it back to the main issue. Is that okay with you?
The person who sets expectations is in control.