1.

THE TURTLE ( Withdrawing)

Turtles withdraw into their shells to avoid
conflicts. They give up their personal goals and
relationships. They stay away from the issues
over which the conflict is taking place and from
the people they are in conflict with. Turtles
believe it is hopeless to try to resolve conflicts.
They feel helpless. They believe it is easier to
withdraw (physically and psychologically) from a
conflict than to face it.

2. THE SHARK (Fighting)

Sharks try to overpower opponents by forcing
them to accept their solution to the conflict. Their
goals are highly important to them, and the
relationship is of minor importance. They seek to
achieve their goals at all costs. They are not
concerned with the needs of other people. They
do not care if other people like or accept them.
Sharks assume that conflicts are settled by one
person winning and one person losing. They
want to be the winner. Winning gives sharks a
sense of pride and achievement. Losing gives
them a sense of weakness, inadequacy and
failure. They try to win by attacking,
overpowering, overwhelming and intimidating
other people.

3. THE TEDDY BEAR (Smoothing)

To Teddy Bears, the relationships of great
importance, while their own goals are of little
importance. Teddy Bears want to be accepted
and liked by other people. They think that
conflict should be avoided in favour of harmony
and believe that conflicts cannot be discussed
without damaging relationships. They are afraid
that if the conflict continues, someone will get
hurt, and that would ruin the relationship. Teddy
Bears say ”I’ll give up my goals, and let you have
what you want, in order for you to like me”.
Teddy Bears try to smooth over the conflict in
fear of harming the relationship.

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4. THE FOX (Compromising)
Foxes are moderately concerned with their own
goals and about their relationships to other
people. Foxes seek a compromise. they give up
part of their goals and persuade the other person
in a conflict to give up part of s goals. They seek
a solution to conflicts where both sides gain
something - the middle round. between two
extreme positions. They’re willing to sacrifice part
of their goals and relationships in order to find
agreement for the common good.

5. THE OWL (Confronting)

Owls highly value their own goals and relation-
ships. They view conflicts as problems to be
solved and seek a solution that achieves both
their own goals and the goals of the other person
in the conflict. Owls see conflicts as improving
relationships by reducing tension between two
people. By seeking solutions that satisfy both
themselves and the other person, Owls maintain
the relationship. Owls are not satisfied until a
solution is found that achieves their own goals
and the other person’s goals. They are not
satisfied until the tensions and negative feelings
have been fully resolved.

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Competing - is assertive and uncooperative.

An individual pursues his own concerns at the other person’s expense. This is a power-
oriented mode, in which one uses whatever power seems appropriate to win one’s own
position - one’s ability to argue, one’s rank, economic sanctions. Competing might mean
”standing up for your rights”, defending a position which you believe is correct, or simply
trying to win.

Accommodating - is unassertive and co-operative - the opposite of competing.

When accommodating, an individual neglects his own concerns to satisfy the concerns of
the other person; there is an element of self-sacrifice in this mode. Accommodating might
take the form of selfless generosity or charity, obeying another person’s order when one
would prefer not to, or yielding to another’s point of view.

Avoiding - is unassertive and uncooperative.

The individual does not immediately pursue his/her own concerns or those of the other
person. He/she does not address the conflict. Avoiding might take the form of
diplomatically side-stepping an issue, postponing an issue until a better time or simply
withdrawing from a threatening situation.

Collaborating - is both assertive and co-operative - the opposite of avoiding.

Collaborating involves an attempt to work with the other person to find some solution
which fully satisfies the concerns of both persons. It means digging into an issue to
identify the underlying concerns of the two individuals and to find an alternative which
meets both sets of concerns. Collaborating between two persons might take the form of
exploring a disagreement to learn from each other’s insights, concluding to resolve some
condition which would otherwise have them competing for resources, or confronting and
trying to find a creative solution to an interpersonal problem.

Compromising - is intermediate in both assertive and co-operativeness.

The objective is to find some expedient, mutually acceptable solution which partially
satisfies both parties. It falls on middle ground between competing and accommodating.
Compromising gives up more than competing but less than accommodating. Likewise, it
addresses an issue more directly than avoiding, but doesn’t explore it in as much depth as
collaborating. Compromising might mean splitting the difference, exchanging concessions,
or seeking a quick middle-ground position.

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A. Competing

Uses 1. When quick, decisive action is vital e.g. emergencies.

2. On important issues where unpopular course of action need
implementing - e.g. cost cutting, enforcing unpopular rules, discipline
3. On issues vital to company welfare when you know you’re right.
4. To protect yourself against people who take advantage of non-
competitive behaviour.

If you scored high:

1 Are you surrounded by ”yes” men? (If so, perhaps it’s because they
have learned that it’s unwise to disagree with you, or have given up
trying to influence you. This closes you off from information).
2. Are subordinates afraid to admit ignorance and uncertainties to you? (In
competitive climates, one must fight for influence and respect - which
means acting more certain and confident than one feels. The upshot is
that people are less able to ask for information and opinion - they feel
less able to learn).

If you scored low:

1. Do you often feel powerless in situations? (it may be because you are
unaware of the power you do have, unskilled in its use, or
uncomfortable with the idea of using it. This may hinder your,
effectiveness by restricting your influence).
2. Do you have trouble taking a firm stand, even when you see the need?
(Sometimes concerns for others’ feelings or anxieties about the use of
power cause us to vacillate, which may mean postponing the decision
and adding to the suffering and/or resentment of others).

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