Why Always Being Right Can Be

Wrong

How do you feel when you're wrong? I do not like it at all.

Are you one of those who wants, or even needs, to be right more than ever? Always?
Do you like to always have the last word? Do you feel frustrated when others do not
agree with you? I feel so much more often than I would. And it's never pleasant.
To be right is not so great, especially if it happens at the price of kindness, kindness,
human warmth, respect. The need for righteousness is based - whether consciously
or not - on the need to sit above others, to ensure that others are not right to
astonish our insecurity and feel perfect.
But what's good about it? Where's the love of it? There are other, healthier, virtues
that we can choose instead of "being right." When our minds are locked up on the
idea of being right, whether it's a quarrel, a conversation, or an ordinary
conversation, it is worth appealing to our soul to choose them:
Opening
We can not always agree and should not try. If people do not agree with you, they do
not necessarily mean they are wrong, as it does not even mean you are right.
We have so much to learn from the ideas and opinions of others when we have
openness to people and are willing to listen to them.
When we give up the need to be right, we communicate and listen to a much deeper
level, with more understanding and acceptance, with less judgment and opposition.
This brings the dialogue forward and brings people closer.
Moreover, our openness encourages others to be open.
Detachment
It is truly possible to be very passionate about what you express and communicate
without being attached to the way your message is received. When we are attached
to what we say, and we are also attached to the idea of being right, we often end up
impose our ideas on others or distort our beliefs in order to obtain the approval of
others.
Posting gives us the freedom to commune without the pressure to be perceived as
right. If we are detached, we are quiet, irrespective of the comments and
observations of others, and whatever the conversion takes. And whoever is right is no
longer important.

Humility
The need for righteousness is deeply rooted in our ego, and our ego is anything but
humble. We'd better swallow ourselves out of pride when someone tells us
something we think is wrong.
We do not need to prove it wrong. In addition, it would be helpful to be willing to
mistake ourselves. The point is not to make compromises when it comes to our
truths, but to express and communicate them with humility.
It does not matter whether we are right or not. Important is how we behave and
manage the situation, regardless of the case.

Forgiveness
Although the need for justice is manifested in all areas of our lives, the worst affected
are the people we love. When we think someone has wronged us, we often want to
show him how much wrong he has.
And we want to pay them the same coin. It would be good to focus on forgiveness in
exchange. It is important to express our feelings, to communicate what we feel, but
not without committing to forgive the deed of the wrong person, however serious we
believe we are.
When priority has the desire to forgive, the need for justice is scattered and makes
room for a more conscious and healthy interaction.

Kindness
Dr. Wayne Dyer urges us: "If you have a choice between being right and being good,
choose to be good." We all struggle with insecurity and fear of not being wrong. And
if we feel threatened, there will be outbursts of impatience and anger.
When we try to prove to someone that they are wrong, insisting that we are right,
we are harsh and ruthless, whether we want it or not and whether we are aware of it
or not. Then all that our ego wants is to be right.
The heart, on the other hand, only wants to love and accept anyone who is in
conversation with us. Let's work from heart, with kindness!
So next time we feel the pressure of the need to be right, it would be good to stop us
a little and remember that the goal is not to be right. That's not really important.
What is important is to integrate the above values in our way of being, to have more
conscious and loving relationships with whoever interacts with us.

We all love to be right! Only sometimes we want to be right to the detriment of our
well-being.
You have probably noticed (when you or people close to you) that when there is a
sensitive subject, we tend to consider only things that confirm what we believe. We'd
rather add something to the image we already have than develop a new image. The
fact that we always consider just what gives us justice makes us have an
overwhelming confidence in our own thoughts and maintain our opinion despite the
contrary.
This desire to confirm our own opinions has proved to have negative effects on
decisions in organizations and in politics as well as in social relations. For example,
when we have two fans of two rival teams next to us and bring arguments that their
team is the best.
What will they do? Each of them will only select the positive information about his
favorite team and the negative one about the opposing team. They have access to
the same information, but their belief that the X team is the hottest influences them
in the way they "process" the information.
What do we do when we want to prove we're right?
1. We are looking for the information trying to confirm our beliefs
For example, you are in a relationship and you think your partner does not love you
(or you are afraid of that), you will look for the evidence that confirms this even if it
affects your relationship. If you think you are lucky enough to have you next to him,
you will only select the information that confirms this (he brought you flowers, called
you, etc.)

2. We interpret the information so as to confirm our opinion

For example, if I have a negative opinion about myself, I will interpret the information
I receive so that I can confirm my image of myself. He looked a more insistent
colleague at me, probably because I look bad today. Or if I think I am a person who
deserves to be appreciated I will interpret her look as a sign of admiration.

3. We recall the information that confirms what we believe

If we consider a colleague to be incompetent, we will only remind ourselves of
situations in which he has not done his or her duties in due time or correctly and will
"forget" or alter the information about the situations in which he did his job very
well. Or, on the contrary, if we consider a colleague to be very capable, we will only
remember the situations in which he behaved exemplary.

4. We transform the contradictory information so as to be congruent with what

we believe
For example, if I consider myself an incapacitated person and I'm told "I liked a lot as
you finished the X project" I could interpret "Well yeah, probably was expected to be
wrong as another time" instead if I consider a competent person will believe (at the
same feedback), "normal, I'm so cool!”

You will not learn anything from life if you think you are right all the time
Do not expect to be perfect. Do not expect to have no flaws ... because you will never
be. Maybe it sounds scary, but the truth is you do not have to live in an unrealistic
standard. You do not have to feel disappointed because your life is not perfect all the
time.
You do not have to be tough with yourself every time you go wrong or fail. The truth
is that mistakes are inevitable. You can do everything you can to create perfect life,
you can tell the right things, you can follow the right path. At some point ... you're
going to be wrong. And it's okay, you have to accept this.
Imperfection is not an indicator of you.
Making mistakes does not mean that you are a weak person. Just because you forgot
to do something or did not go out the way you want it does not mean you are less
prepared, less qualified or less capable.
You can fall from time to time. That does not mean you do not have the power to get
up and move on, start something new.
You will not always have a well-arranged life. You will not always choose the right
path, the right person, the right place. You will not always be confident, prepared or
even able to do the right thing. But that does not mean that you are unworthy or do
not deserve to be happy.
You do not have to look at mistakes like something bad. Mistakes are challenges.
There are moments from which you can restart on the right track. There are bridges
that help you cross the other side of the road. They are destinations to keep you in
control to keep you motivated to help you learn more about yourself.
Mistakes are ways in which you grow, change, become a stronger version of yourself.
Mistakes make you human, and being human is so beautiful.
It is so difficult for us to understand that mistakes are good. We're trying to be right
all the time, doing things like a book. We believe that because we failed, we are not
able to move on. We think we're weak.
But it is not the mistakes that make us weak, but our perspectives. If we do not trust
us, we will never have the power to continue, to forgive ourselves.
Mistakes do not amount to weakness.
We have to fight against the doubts that form in our mind when we are wrong. We
must speak to the soul with kindness and forgiveness.
We need to know that we are human, and mistakes are a natural part of
development. We have to understand that we are good. This life will bring us so
many difficult moments, but that does not mean we can not overcome the storms.
We can not avoid being imperfect ... but imperfection is a normal thing.

Do you want to always be right? Do not kneel your interlocutor, you will be
the next victim
Give up the idea that you are always right
The desire to always be right is closely related to perfection, to have an impeccable
image, but not the impeccable image is sought or agreed upon by those around us,
whether we are talking about family, loved ones or work colleagues.
On the first occasion, you might want to ask yourself, "Do I prefer to be right or do I
prefer to be a gentle person? What do I gain from a verbal conflict? ". How many
times has it happened that you are right and holding your cause to white cloths,
kneeling your interlocutor, and eventually feeling sorry for you?
Once you are no longer a "persecutor" to your loved ones, you will have a better
condition and even a self-image of yourself.
Drop the need to control
Be willing to give up the need to always control everything that happens to you and
others, whether we are talking about situations, events or people.
The desire to have control speaks, in fact, about mistrust and fear of the unknown. If
we always choose to do the things we know to do, if we choose to "teach" those
around us how to do things the way we want, we do nothing but to run away from
authenticity and everything that brings it nicely.

Quit looking for a guilty one

Eliminate the need to blame others for what you have or not, for what you feel or do
not feel. Unsatisfaction brings failure, because it brings out vulnerability, lack of
organization and mistrust in your own person, so you begin to take responsibility for
your life.

Discard self defeat

How many people hurt themselves because of their negative, polluted mentality and
self-defeating? In other words, when you say "I do not know how to make cakes" or "I
can not give the exam because I'm not ready" or "Who to look at me like me?" All
these words said loudly, in a conversation or even in thought, have the power to put
some "barriers" that will prevent us from being happy.

Stop complaining
Do not use anything if you complain to others, because in reality no one can do you
unhappy, no situation can make you sad unless you allow it. Not the situation that
triggers those feelings is to blame, but the way you choose to look at them. In other
words, to be happy, try not to give people around in your "sigh" and try to position
yourself differently when you feel that things are not going in the right direction.

Discard the need to impress others

When you cease to be something you are not, when you give up all the "masks" you
have, when we truly accept, we will discover that people feel attracted to personal
charm, not why we have a point material view. In the quest to obtain material goods
that we then impress, we actually "forget" to be happy.

Discard your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it does not exist, you created it. Everything is in our minds. In
other words, if we correct the interior, the exterior will be exactly as it should be.
Once our fears have been overcome, we can experience new things and allow us to
be happy.

Discard excuses
We often limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and
developing, we remain stuck, lonely alone, using all kinds of excuses, excuses that in
99.9% of cases are not real.
The worst lie is where we choose to lie to ourselves, and we do this because, most of
the time, the truth is painful or we are not prepared to deal with it. The price of
apologies behind which we choose to hide is our own happiness.

Discard the past

It is hard to give up the past, especially when the past looks much better than the
present, and the prospects for the future seem bleak. In reality, the present moment
is all we have, it is the only time we have the certainty that we can do things. When
we choose to ignore the present, in fact, the past to which we report was ignored
when it was present. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all, life is a
journey, not a destination. It is a responsibility to live in "HERE and NOW".

How to deal with people who think they are always right?
Your relationship with people who think they are always right can prove to be a
difficult one, especially when you have nothing but to confront them. Perhaps you
have a relative who always asserts your point of view, even when you know he can
not do much more than that.
It can try to convince you with its arguments or to tell you in front of everyone else
how you should live your life constantly. Maybe you're thinking about changing your
hairstyle, but she insists she knows better what haircuts it suits you. It explains to the
last detail that it would be better to get rid of the six inches of hair that you have
trusted to grow. How can you deal with this without losing patience?
 Do not try too much to diagnose the personality disorder of the person in
question
You can think that only a narcissist will see life from his / her own perspective, so the
person in question must clearly have these selfish features. But there is the possibility
that the person trying to tell you is always right to have another personality disorder.
Or maybe relations have never been perfect between you, so maybe it's not even a
personality disorder.

 Realize that this behavior can come from a low level of emotional intelligence
Understanding the role of emotional intelligence in interpersonal relationships is the
first step that helps you deal with people who lack emotional intelligence. After
analyzing the level of emotional intelligence, you may need to be more open,
allowing the person concerned to know how you feel and how you feel with someone
with a high level of emotional intelligence.

 Do not get angry

It is certainly annoying to have to defend your own views and preferences before the
ongoing opposition. However, if you show that you can be emotionally intelligent by
controlling your own reactions, you can set a good example for the person who
thinks he is always right. Who knows, maybe he will change his perspective in the
future.

 Look in the mirror before blaming the other person

People who constantly try to prove that they are right and that you are wrong will be
in the defensive. There may be a seed of truth in everything you hear, so try to decide
if you are the one who needs to change.
  Keep the lines of communication open
It's not a pleasure to be with a person who is constantly trying to make you feel as if
you are inadequate, so you can just stay away from that person.
However, you may not have a choice and you can not avoid this person's presence in
your life. Try to find a common denominator with such people, especially when they
are part of your family, your office staff or your neighbors.
People who think they are right all the time and who have no hesitation in telling you
this can make you go through the biggest interpersonal challenges. But when you
realize how to deal with people who think they are always right, your emotional
intelligence and self fulfillment gain, develop and deepen.

5 Ways to Stop Needing to be Right

 Ask the age-old question: Would you rather be right or happy?
Most of us would rather be happy, but we often equate being right with being happy.
In fact, when you make someone else wrong, deep down inside, you don’t feel good
(or right) about your actions…or yourself. That’s why you’ll never be happy as long as
you insist others are wrong.

 Consider that you want to be right to justify yourself or your actions in some
way.
Maybe you want to prove you are smarter, not wrong, better, or that it wasn’t your
fault. Drop the justifications; the need to be right diminishes—or disappears. Your
reasons tend to end up as blame and excuses, neither of which improve a situation,
relationship, or how you feel about yourself.

 Stop telling yourself you aren’t proving the other person wrong but just
proving that you are right.
In fact, you possess the need to make the other person wrong. If you accomplish that
goal, on some level, you believe you will feel better about yourself. (As mentioned, on
another level you will feel worse.Instead, try allowing the other person to be right.
Doing so is as easy as saying, “You know, you are right.” And those words do not
mean you are wrong. Two people can be right.
  Start small.
Taking small steps is good advice when you want to change any unsupportive habit.
You could go cold turkey—break your addiction fast! Or look for little opportunities to
practice dropping your need to be right.For example, don’t tell the waiter he took
your order incorrectly.
You said, “dressing on the side,” but the dressing came on the salad. You can eat it
the way this one time or say, “I would prefer the dressing on the side. Is there a way
we can correct this situation?” Or order another salad and ask, “Did you get that? I’d
like the dressing on the side.”
Let’s say your driving on the highway, and a car pulls sharply in front of your vehicle.
Fight your urge to shout, “You’re a jerk! You cut me off! You don’t know how to
drive!” Also, don’t give in to your desire to speed up and tailgate him or to pull
around him and wave your fist at him through the window as you pass. Instead,
consider that maybe you weren’t paying attention to his need to change lanes or
merge and, therefore, didn’t slow down to let him in.
Or admit, “Wow…that was a bit scary and dangerous. I’m glad we are both okay. I’ll
give him some more space.”Get used to allowing for the possibility that you aren’t
right and the other person is not wrong.

 Focus on what’s right with everything! The need to be right makes you focus
on what is wrong.
To counteract this tendency, stop looking for what’s wrong. Instead, look for what’s
right. When you change your focus in this way, you’ll discover fewer opportunities to
point your finger and say, “That’s wrong,” “You’re wrong,” or “I am right.”
Don’t expect your attitude about being right to change overnight. It takes consistent
work to break the habit of proving everyone else wrong. When you eliminate your
addiction to being right, you’ll experience improvement in almost every area of your
life.