An Illustrated Narrative by

Sonia Arthur
Are You That, Which I Feel

An Illustrated Narrative by
Sonia Arthur

Diploma Project 2020

Guided by Kruttika Susarla
For Thaatha,
with love
We all start off the same.

1
 It is with every fold, every crease,
and every stain, that we become.

Our thoughts and experiences are what form these creases.

2 3
 Sometimes it gets hard for some papers They then require external help.
to keep their pieces assembled.

4 5
6 7
 9

ly abandon t h
al ei
tu
en
r
bo
ev

die
r
...o

s.
.
e..
m
r ignore
e ithe
ll a
y
e
Th
tever you like
wha .I
e h av
m e
ll a
ca fe
n

w
ca

fr
u

ie
. Yo

nd
Hello. It is I

s.

8
 It’s only a few that can see me.

Sometimes it's a boy who’s the most Sometimes it’s a small girl who is forced to show her
entertaining of all his friends. father affection in a way she doesn’t understand.

10 11
 I understand them.

When I see that nobody looks at them hard

enough to properly see and help them out,

I step in.

12 13
 I met someone a few days ago.

He was different from his friends.

When he told them about how he

I will be here for you no

thought he was different, they hurt him.

matter what.

14 15
 …We are immensely sorry
for your loss.

A car is on it’s way,

it will take you to the
hospital…

One day he received a phone call.

16 17
 I went up to him and introduced myself.

"Are you the thing I see

lurking behind the walls?"

I was thrilled that he knew I existed.

18 19
 I decided to help him out.

It feels good to be needed.

20 21
 I’m not the only one who helps people this way.

We are a big family of ten.

We come in different shapes and sizes.

22 25
 Sometimes I get bored and want to play with the boy.

I bring to him these special toys.

22 25
 They tell the boy’s brain to instruct
his mind to feel a certain way.

This part is fun.

26 27
 I realised that the boy is greedy.

He does not share me with anybody.

He always flashes a smile and tells them about

how fast he was driven to the hospital.

28 29
 I want to be seen, I want his friends to know me.

I’ve tried to make him tell them.

Whenever I think the words are about to roll out of his

mouth he excuses himself and runs away from all of us.

But I eventually always find him.

30 31
 I try harder.

I push him and shove him and sit on him hoping that
he sees how badly I want to be introduced.

If he doesn’t, I don’t give up, I push him harder

and sit on him longer.

32 33
 Most of my friends cannot bear my
weight after a point.

Some decide to see somebody who guides

them on how to help themselves.

The rest of them run away,

leaving their bodies behind.

34 35
 One of the boy’s friends came to see him today.

She knocked for a long time, and stopped.

“...I will open the door if she

starts to knock Again...”

... And she did.

36 37
 How have you been holding up since
your mother passed away?
I heard you flew a car or something?

Are you eating alright,

you look a little pale.

38 39
 He told her about everything, and finally

Hello, nice to meet you.

introduced me.

She seems like a nice person.

40 41
 The first thing to do is to accept so you can make
room in your heart for more things.

She told him nobody can change anything that happened in

the past but there are things he could do to feel better.

42 43
 She visited more often.

I wanted to be more like her - more free,

not responsible for the boy anymore.

44 45
 One night I tried to sneak out of the bed by myself.

I realised I couldn’t.

46 47
 As weeks went by, th
eb
oy

for a run.
sp
ent le
ss
time a

going
t

in g s
home

As months wen

or n
m
an

ore
d mo

gm
re t

ps en

din
ime

utd by ,
t

he st
o

oors ar
with his friend. ted

48 49
 I had lesser things to do for him.

That’s when I realised, I was free.

50 51
 The other morning I woke up alone.

I saw him with a new friend.

He is trying to replace me.

52 53
 Ting
Tong!

I was feeling very lost without the boy’s attention.

I decided to go find out how his human friend was doing.

54 55
 I’m here for you. This made me sad.

Thank you, but I would rather

speak with someone else who can help
I am worthless, she does not need me.
Nobody does.

me find a way through this.

Your worth does not lie in how

much people need you.

56 57
58 59
 Hello again.

It’s been a while.

I have started to feel something called content?

It’s new, and I’m still learning about it,
but I’m enjoying it.

I think.

Sometimes I see the boy sitting by himself.

I’ve approached him a few times, but he

always proves to me that he will get by.

60 61
 I’m happy for him.

We grew together, even though we are apart now.

62 63
 There is no perfect way to experience life.

Whatever it is, is a learning, and there will always be times

when we feel like we’ve hit the bottom.

But once you hit the bottom, the only way you can go is up.

64 65
A pressing issue our society faces - people who do not
suffer through a mental illness, do not understand it.

Every one of us are surrounded by a mix of those who

are struggling and those who aren’t. There are people
who knowingly or unknowingly make it harder for those
trying to help themselves heal.

Our family, our closest friends, if they do not understand

what we are going through, it makes it all the more
harder to be able to get better. There is a lot being done to
help those who are feeling the weight of their minds, but
looking into the other side of things might change a lot.